Latest / The Relentless Pursuit of Winning Podcast / Commanding the Room: How to Influence and Engage Any Audience | Aaron Smalls

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Commanding the Room: How to Influence and Engage Any Audience | Aaron Smalls · The Relentless Pursuit of Winning Podcast

0:00
People feel you before they understand you.
0:01
You have to be able to have a system that you can run the room,
0:06
otherwise the room will run you.
0:07
Presence with intention creates energy.
0:10
And energy
0:11
Mm-hmm.
0:12
with alignment creates leadership.
0:14
it wasn't ever about learning to perform.
0:17
It's about learning to lead. And that is the system that gets created.
0:22
That's the framework that can apply to anything,
0:26
When we're not present in a moment,
0:27
we're no longer connecting with the people that are there in front of us.
0:31
It's about
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making it about them, it's about serving the room.
0:35
That's how you gain attention.
0:52
Hey folks, welcome to another episode of the Relentless Pursuit of Winning podcast.
0:55
My name is Rick Meekins. I am your host today,
0:57
and in our studio, we have Aaron Smalls.
0:59
How are you today, sir?
1:01
Rick, thanks for having me on the show and thank you to everyone that is watching.
1:05
I'm I'm so excited to be here with you.
1:07
It's been a a long time coming,
1:08
and now here we are.
1:10
Definitely, definitely. This is gonna be an amazing show.
1:12
Folks, if you haven't done already,
1:13
would you please like, subscribe,
1:15
and hit the bell so that you can get updates every time we drop a new episode?
1:18
And without further ado, let's get to it.
1:20
So, Aaron, we're all sitting on the edge of our seats.
1:22
Let us know who you are, what you do,
1:24
and why you do what you do.
1:26
the loaded question. okay,
1:28
Yes, sir.
1:29
let's let's
1:30
dive right into it. you know, I'm Aaron Smalls.
1:33
I call myself an energy architect.
1:35
we'll go through more of what that is,
1:37
but I've spent 20 years hosting and DJing for TV shows and live events
1:43
for crowds from anywhere from 50 50,000 people.
1:47
Recently I just did the FIFA World Cup in Boston.
1:50
I did four games there.
1:52
one of which was a quarter final.
1:53
So that was pretty amazing. And not too long before that,
1:58
I worked on the Emmy winning Kelly Clarkson Show show right through
2:01
the final season as the audience warm-up host.
2:04
And then if we go back in time of who I am,
2:07
some might say I'm a little bit of a gambler because I made a I made a
2:11
bet back in the day. I went to the University of Central Florida.
2:16
I was studying mechanical engineering and the entertainment world came into my view.
2:21
And I knew nothing about the entertainment world really.
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And it it hooked me, it captured me.
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And that changed my entire trajectory.
2:30
It changed my entire course. So I switched from engineering
2:34
to business and graduated with business and and continued
2:38
to pursue the entertainment world.
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And as a
2:40
Mm.
2:40
kid, I grew up in St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands.
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my grandfather was a Cypso musician.
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If you don't know what Calypso is,
2:45
definitely look it up. It's got some roots in a lot of different music.
2:49
but yeah, everybody everybody thought I was kind of crazy to make that move,
2:53
to make that jump from engineering to business to then pursuing entertainment.
2:58
And you know, I I think that's I think that's one of those feelings that founders
3:03
can relate to is that everybody
3:04
Mm-hmm.
3:05
thinking that you're crazy.
3:07
for pursuing an idea. and what I do now is essentially two things.
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I do two things at once. I am still performing at the highest possible level with
3:17
the different shows and events that I'm doing.
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And I've also created a system behind it.
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And I teach that system. And and most people only do one of those things
3:27
in this space. And that's where I do both.
3:30
And I I
3:30
Mm.
3:31
I do both because
3:32
The why of it is I learned the hard way that a room is a business asset.
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And nobody really
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Mm-hmm.
3:38
teaches you how to run a room.
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So I built a system that does do that.
3:43
And the rule is simple. It's one rule that's at the top of the list.
3:48
It's very simple. And that rule is it ain't about you.
3:51
Mm. Yeah.
3:52
So that
3:54
for the most part is the who and what and why of who I am.
3:59
Amazing. Amazing. But you you dropped a couple of pearls in there.
4:02
You know, let's let's let's start with the let's start with the energy architect.
4:05
What what what is that, man?
4:08
Energy architect, you know, for the longest time I had this tripod of hosting,
4:14
DJing, and acting. And I was doing that for
4:16
Mm-hmm.
4:16
a long time and I was finding great success in all of them,
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not just domestically, internationally.
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I was booking TV shows and commercials and movies.
4:24
I was DJing on massive stages and events and hosting for Nickelodeon and
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a lot of other TV shows. And right around the pandemic,
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I thought to myself, what's what's the through line here?
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What am I doing in each one of these that I could hone in on exactly what
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it is that I do? And when I did that,
4:44
I found that it was energy. And energy is maybe this is the the engineer in me,
4:49
but the energy aspect of it is energy is it is neither created nor destroyed.
4:55
It's just transferred.
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And that's exactly
4:57
Mm-hmm.
4:59
what I found myself doing. I was transferring this
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Mm-hmm.
5:02
energy back and forth between people.
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And I was like, that's it. That's the through line.
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That's the thread. I am architecting an experience that has to do with energy.
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Before you walk into any room,
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before you say anything, the energy that surrounds you is going to speak for you.
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Mm-hmm.
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It is it is such a big thing where it's i i i energy just it it how
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do I really lock into it?
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I think the way that I really lock into it is that before you say anything,
5:36
energy is really surrounding you.
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And it is what you bring into that room before you say anything that people will
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initially lock onto. And all these different
5:46
Mm-hmm.
5:47
public speaking and communication programs,
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they're gonna teach you what to say and how to say it and body language
5:53
and all of those. But the
5:54
Yeah.
5:55
aspect that I found that was missing is the energetic aspect of it.
5:58
What are those things
5:59
Yeah.
5:59
doing?
6:00
If I sit here and I talk to you and I'm like this,
6:02
they'll tell you, don't cross your arms because you're closing yourself
6:06
off to the person. It can feel standoffish.
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That's that's the body language of it.
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But energetically,
6:11
Mm-hmm.
6:12
what is that doing? It's shutting off our connection.
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It's closing off
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Hmm.
6:16
that openness between the two of us.
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So there that's one of the things that I found is that if I can.
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Teach the aspects of energy that I've learned in all of these different rooms,
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all of these different stages,
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and I can attach it to not just the entertainment world,
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but also to the leadership world,
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research and development, business leaders,
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founders, executives. If I can help them to understand the energetic side
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of it before you say anything,
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before you do anything, ~ body language related,
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Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
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that is the absolute trigger that will.
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bring people together and take different personalities,
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different diversity, and bring it together into alignment,
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into one collective that's moving forward.
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Mm, mm. So so this is this is this is perfect.
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I mean, I mean, you know, we're in this place,
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you know, we're exchanging energy,
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we're giving energy to the audience.
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So in terms of architecting, you know,
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what this should look like, or I imagine,
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you know, we're we're trying to optimize this so that the flow is,
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you know, it's so it's working between all three audiences,
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so to speak, you know, be you and the and the and the listener viewers,
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what would that what would that process look like?
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So the process is i it it goes back to what I was saying.
7:34
People feel you before they understand you.
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So You have to be able to have a system that you can run the room,
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otherwise the room will run you.
7:43
You've heard it in branding and all these different aspects is if
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you don't tell your story, people will tell it for you.
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They'll make up
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Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
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whatever they want to make up.
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And it's the same thing when you walk into a room and here here's the whole thing.
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Essentially in two lines, right?
7:58
Presence with intention creates energy.
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And energy
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Mm-hmm.
8:04
with alignment creates leadership.
8:06
I'll run that back. Presence, being fully present in a moment,
8:10
in a room, with
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Mm-hmm.
8:12
intention, you know your vision,
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you know your goals, you know your why.
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Those two things together create energy.
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And that energy,
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Mm-hmm.
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when it's aligned, creates leadership.
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And
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That's the thing. It was it wasn't ever about learning to perform.
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It's about learning to lead. And that is the system that gets created.
8:34
That's the framework that can apply to anything,
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whether you're in the entertainment world and you're a DJ or you are a CEO
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at the at the top of the ranks.
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That energy
8:43
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
8:44
and that system and that alignment is absolutely critical because if
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you don't know where you're going,
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if you don't know what you're doing,
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if you don't know where that energy needs to be directed.
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It's gonna scatter, it's gonna spread out,
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and it's gonna trickle down through anyone and everyone that you interact with.
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So being
9:00
Mm.
9:01
able to be an energy architect and to architect and create that system
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and that structure around your energy,
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that is one of the biggest markers of a leader.
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I can go into more of the science with Harvard Business Review
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and positive relation racial relational energy and
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So many of these other aspects,
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but I know we have a limited time,
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so I'll hold
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Mm-hmm.
9:24
off there.
9:25
Is it is it kind of is it kind of like a physical thing?
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Like I would be intentional about like how I show up here and and try to
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I don't I don't know, do certain things that would help to energize you,
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for example, and keeping the audience in in the back of my mind with
9:41
all of the perhaps the the conversations or what what is what does that look like
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for me as someone that is that is working,
9:48
that is learning from you?
9:49
So there's there's a couple aspects of it.
9:51
It I roll it back to, if I understood your question correctly,
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I roll it back to that phrase I said at the beginning of it ain't about you.
9:59
Mm-hmm.
10:00
It ain't about you. That is one of the biggest lessons that I've learned
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is that the second that we make it about us,
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that's when we that's when we get into our heads.
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And when we're in our heads, we're no longer present in a moment.
10:14
And When we're not present in a moment,
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we're no longer connecting with the people that are there in front of us.
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So when we don't make it about us,
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we make it about the why or the value or the goal or the alignment or where
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we want to take that room or those people,
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the emotional arc that we want to create.
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How do we want them to feel at the end of something?
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If we put the focus on that, it's then on them,
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it's about them, and that is service that.
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delivers in that sense. When we make it
10:42
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
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about us, it all becomes introspective and and ego-driven,
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and we get into our heads and that's when we lose this focus.
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And that's where nerves come in.
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That's where the pressure comes in.
10:56
That's where performance comes in instead of the actual presence aspect
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of it. It's not about being the most impressive person in the room.
11:07
It's about
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making it about them, it's about serving the room.
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And that's that's the real relentless pursuit,
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right? Not chasing attention. It's about earning it,
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about creating value and interest and engagement.
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And when you do those things, that is a part of,
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I'm an acronym junkie and value and interest and engagement.
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Those things, those are how you vie for attention.
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That's how you gain attention.
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You don't demand it.
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You vie for it by pres presenting value and interest and
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Mm-hmm.
11:40
engagement.
11:41
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It reminds me of the when I was in the restaurant industry,
11:44
I was in was in fine dining. And it was always about,
11:48
you know, what is the what what was the customer's like last experience?
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Like it's like and that and that's it was interesting because it
11:55
was like everything that we would do,
11:56
we would think about, you know,
11:58
what the customer is gonna think.
11:59
You know, how do the plates need to look?
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You know, how do the servers need to look?
12:02
How does the ambiance, et cetera,
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et cetera.
12:04
It's really interesting taking that into into the business world.
12:08
You know, I I think when we do like you know,
12:11
sales marketing customer experience programs,
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you know, if if we think about it from that perspective,
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you know, not just the hey, we need to drive revenue,
12:19
but hey, what does the customer experience need to look like from
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an energy perspective? I think I th I think we could we could really produce,
12:27
you know, better more better results with that.
12:30
Is it is that accurate?
12:32
Yeah, absolutely. It's about creating that experience.
12:35
It's not about being technically the best or having the most hard skills
12:40
or or or any of that. Those things are are great and those things are fantastic.
12:45
But at the
12:45
Yeah.
12:46
end of the day, you are providing a product or a service for someone and that
12:52
is an experience. Why would someone purchase a PC over a Mac?
12:57
Why would they purchase Coca-Cola over Pepsi?
13:00
It's about the experience and all of these different other aspects that go into it.
13:05
but the experience of it and what is created that make people lean one
13:10
way or the next. I always
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Mm-hmm.
13:12
I always bring up this example of you could have a stake.
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You talked about fine dining, you could have a stake with the worst people.
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And it it could be an incredible stake,
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but the people around you just aren't.
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giving to you. Energetically, they are pulling from you.
13:31
You don't necessarily want to be there.
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You're not enjoying the conversation.
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It's a struggle. You don't know what to say.
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You don't know what to do. You're just waiting for the moment that it's over
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so you can get out of there. And all you're thinking is the steak is
13:42
the best part of this. All right.
13:43
Mm-hmm.
13:44
So you can have
13:44
a steak with those people, or you can have a hot dog with some
13:48
of the greatest people. And that is probably one of the best hot
13:50
Mm.
13:51
dogs that you will ever have because the experience that you're having that hot dog
13:57
Surrounded by energetically, that is the whole world.
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Now, if you
14:01
Mm-hmm.
14:02
ha you take that stake, those hard skills,
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all of that, and you pair it together energetically with being a great person
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and having a great crowd and being that type of leader,
14:13
man. Now you got a great stake and great people,
14:15
and and that sounds like a fantastic evening or a weekend,
14:19
you know?
14:20
Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.
14:22
one thing you talked about, you know,
14:24
kind of kind of a few times was you know,
14:26
that that pr that aspect of presence.
14:28
You know, and and I'm thinking about you,
14:30
you know, being on stage with sixty thousand people and like,
14:33
you know, you could be thinking about I don't know what you gotta
14:36
do tomorrow or whatever, but you've learned to you've learned to be present.
14:40
And I think that that's such a such a powerful skill.
14:44
You know, especially,
14:44
Mm-hmm.
14:45
you know, as as a leader, as you know,
14:47
someone that is, you know, teaching,
14:50
evolving, you know, guiding other people that you're are following us
14:53
in whatever in whatever aspect.
14:54
And so my question for you is,
14:57
how do you truly learn that? There's there's there's a there's a theoretical side
15:02
to this, you know what I'm saying?
15:03
Just you know, just pay attention.
15:04
But there's it's it's much deeper than that because it becomes part of who you are.
15:08
So how how do you learn that?
15:10
So presence, you talked about theory.
15:12
Let's let's get theory out of it because there's all kinds of theories that
15:15
can happen and things can be theoretical,
15:17
but we we want to create systems and frameworks that actually work
15:22
and operate and efficient that are efficient and effective.
15:26
Mm-hmm.
15:26
So presence is something that,
15:29
and I know you've heard this before,
15:30
but that presence is a gift, right?
15:32
That's why they call it the presence.
15:34
So, one of the biggest things about being present with someone is listening.
15:37
Listening is a massive aspect of that because that is communication.
15:42
You are sending me information.
15:42
Mm-hmm.
15:44
I am going to receive that information,
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and then I'm going to send something back to you.
15:50
It is a game of send and receive that is constantly going back and forth.
15:54
The information
15:55
Mm-hmm.
15:55
that you send me, if I'm not
15:57
present in that moment, if I'm not listening to you,
16:00
if I'm not engaged in what you're saying and I'm thinking about what
16:03
I'm gonna have for lunch, what I'm gonna say next or the next moment,
16:07
I am then creating a plan. And when we plan something,
16:12
it's so easy for that plan to fall apart.
16:15
Mm-hmm.
16:15
And that's why we have to prepare and not plan for something.
16:19
So being able to listen, I'll come back to that in a second,
16:22
and then prepare, don't plan, those two aspects I want to I want to lock into.
16:27
So the
16:28
Okay.
16:28
prepare, don't plan aspect of it is things are gonna go sideways.
16:33
It doesn't, it doesn't matter what you do,
16:37
how much you plan, how much you prepare,
16:39
things will go sideways. Something will happen.
16:42
A microphone will die, a speaker will be late,
16:45
the presentation is having glitches,
16:48
the technology is is not working as optimally as it can.
16:52
Mm-hmm.
16:52
And if you planned
16:54
For step A, B, C, D, E, and F,
16:56
and step B or step E gets messed up and is erased.
17:01
You're now stumbling and stammering.
17:02
And that's what happens when you make a plan.
17:06
There's nothing wrong
17:06
Mm-hmm.
17:07
with planning how something's gonna go,
17:09
nothing wrong with creating a vision with how something's gonna go.
17:12
But we
17:12
Mm-hmm.
17:13
create a benchmark, our floor with preparation so
17:17
Mm-hmm.
17:18
that when we get into a particular moment,
17:20
we can be present.
17:21
Because we've already prepared for all of these different scenarios.
17:24
And then we see where it goes.
17:24
mhm, mhm, mhm
17:27
That's what athletes do, right?
17:29
They're preparing
17:29
Yeah.
17:30
preseason for all of these different scenarios.
17:33
They're running all of these different plays.
17:35
They're putting different people in different positions to prepare
17:38
for the moment where they are in the real thing.
17:41
When they're actually playing that game,
17:43
they can't go with a plan of we're gonna throw long passes,
17:46
throw long passes, because that may not work out.
17:49
Right.
17:49
So we
17:49
prepare to a particular level so that when we get into a moment,
17:53
we're ready to move it. We can't control anything.
17:58
We can command something, but we cannot control it.
18:01
If you are on a river that is rushing,
18:05
moving as quick as possible, and you're the captain of that ship,
18:08
you can't shout to the river, hey,
18:10
settle down. I'm trying to go this way and you're making me go that way.
18:13
No, you can't control that river.
18:16
But you can command that chip.
18:17
You are prepared. You do know how the winds are gonna work.
18:20
You do know how the rudders are gonna work so that you can move yourself down that
18:25
river in the best possible way.
18:26
And that's where the preparation
18:27
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
18:28
over planning comes from. And that's where
18:30
Mm-hmm.
18:30
the reps come in. We have all this technology and AI and all this that
18:35
we have fit information at our fingertips,
18:37
but that's just knowledge and information.
18:39
That's just one time. You read a book,
18:41
that's just one time. Repetition
18:42
Mm-hmm.
18:43
is what creates fluency.
18:45
And that's how we become the masters.
18:47
That's how we become absolutely experienced at something.
18:50
And so that all comes from the idea of preparation over planning and listening.
18:56
Man, I could tell you so much about listening.
18:59
One the examples that I'll give you here is hip hop just celebrated 50 years,
19:04
not not too long ago, in the last in the last year or so.
19:07
Uh-huh.
19:07
Sprite, the brand Sprite, has been along for that journey almost the entire time.
19:12
Huh.
19:12
Why is that the case? Because Sprite,
19:15
they do an incredible job of listening to what the hip
19:20
hop culture is doing. They listen so well and they don't listen just with their
19:25
ears. They listen with their instincts,
19:29
their their intuition. They're listening
19:31
Mm-hmm.
19:32
to all these things. And then they're making these applications and they're able
19:35
to adapt to what is happening.
19:37
They're not just going, here's my plan,
19:38
let's stick to it.
19:40
They prepare for how the industry is going to move and where they think
19:44
the industry is going to move,
19:45
and they go, let me help guide it in that direction.
19:47
So those are some of
19:48
Mm, mm, mm.
19:50
the the biggest aspects of frameworks and how you implement these things
19:55
and why listening and being present is so incredibly important.
20:00
Hmm. Wow, that's that's that's brilliant.
20:02
I I the the the listening piece in particular jumps out to me just because it's it's
20:08
an enabler, you know, and you have the tendency sometimes in
20:10
a conversation with someone, you know,
20:12
to think about, you know, the next,
20:13
you know, three or four things you want to say rather than actually hearing
20:17
and observ or listening, I should say,
20:19
and absorbing what's being understood said and really trying to understand,
20:23
you know, what people are saying.
20:25
So that
20:26
act of trying to understand is that act of presence that you're talking about.
20:31
Yeah. It's a it's the simplest,
20:32
it's the simplest thing. I'll give you the I'll you this example.
20:35
How many times have you met someone brand new?
20:37
And seconds later you're like,
20:39
I forgot their name. I have no idea what their name is.
20:41
Yeah, it happens.
20:42
I think anyone and everyone that's listening,
20:46
myself
20:47
included, has done that because as that person is walking up to us,
20:51
as they're approaching us, as we see them,
20:53
we're thinking, what are we gonna say?
20:55
We're assessing them, we're doing all of these different things.
20:58
Yeah.
20:58
And
20:58
that when they do say they put their hand out,
21:00
shake your hand, say their name,
21:02
you're so far ahead of what you're gonna say and all these other aspects that
21:06
you don't even hear what they say.
21:08
So
21:08
Yeah.
21:09
a lot of the times I try and keep myself in the present of whatever moment is,
21:15
and I use the repetition in it.
21:16
So if someone was introducing you to me,
21:18
Rick, if you said, hi, my name's Rick,
21:21
hey Rick, pleasure to meet you.
21:23
I've now heard it, I've now said it.
21:26
You said Rick, right? That's what it is.
21:28
Because sometimes it could be something else.
21:31
And even if I did hear it, I still repeat it.
21:32
So now I've
21:33
Mm-hmm.
21:33
said it twice. And then I find some other way before the conversation ends
21:38
and we part ways. Hey, Rick, it was great talking to you.
21:42
I'm looking forward to seeing you around the event.
21:45
So I've now said it multiple times.
21:47
I've heard myself say it multiple times.
21:49
I've heard you say it a couple times.
21:50
And all of that happens in this quick moment of the present.
21:54
So that later
21:54
Right.
21:55
on when you're going, he's coming up to me.
21:56
What was his name? What was his name?
21:57
Rick, I remember. There it is.
21:59
So it's these like little tricks that keep you in the present so that
22:03
we can keep moving forward. It's it's it's so amazing how important it is.
22:09
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The the other piece you were talking about was with with
22:13
the planning and I love that. And what dawned on me with that was really acceptance.
22:18
You know, so like you said, you make the plan,
22:20
but you accept the fact that you've prepared well,
22:24
you've prepared so that you can accept if things do go awry,
22:28
if things do you know, go unplanned.
22:30
I was thinking about just that in terms of energy and perhaps energy preservation
22:35
is is that
22:36
Also aligned with your thinking?
22:39
Yeah, it it it definitely is. what was the fur there was a word you said right
22:43
in the beginning there that I wanted to
22:45
Accept it?
22:46
lock into. Acceptance, yeah. come back to acceptance in a moment.
22:49
Actually, I just get to it right now.
22:50
So sometimes people have a hard time accepting other people's views
22:57
Mm. Mm.
22:57
or perspectives. So you won't
22:59
listen. You're like, I'm not gonna listen to this person because I don't like their
23:04
views or I know what they're about or whatever the case is.
23:07
But that closes us off to perspective.
23:10
You don't you don't have to
23:12
embody what they're talking about.
23:13
You don't have to apply it to your life.
23:15
It doesn't have to become your new principle and how you guide your your world
23:19
and your new philosophy. But
23:20
Mm-hmm.
23:21
it can provide you with a different perspective of how someone else
23:23
is thinking about something, which then gives you knowledge,
23:26
which then gives you power in or in able to act on something
23:30
and do something energetically to make someone else act a particular way
23:35
or to be inspired a certain way.
23:37
And one of the aspects of that that I present to people is
23:41
A Broadway show, suspension of disbelief.
23:44
If you go to a Broadway show, you know if you go to the Lion King,
23:48
you know that the Lions and the Zebras and the hyenas,
23:51
you know those aren't real. There's no part
23:53
Mm-hmm.
23:53
of you that's like, those are real,
23:55
right? It's not there anymore,
23:56
but there's an aspect of you that suspends that disbelief that they're not real.
24:01
And it allows you to submerse yourself and immerse yourself into the character,
24:07
into the story.
24:08
And by doing that, you're able to take on the perspective of
24:11
the characters and what's happening in that story.
24:14
Yeah.
24:14
So I often say to people, if they have a hard time with someone else's perspective
24:19
or maybe they are already resistant to it,
24:21
apply that suspension of disbelief,
24:24
right? Try and just take yourself out of it so that you can get into their character
24:29
or their perspective for just a moment.
24:32
And then it comes right back to what I said in the beginning.
24:35
You don't have to apply it as your philosophy.
24:37
That doesn't have to be what gets put down in your holy grail anymore.
24:40
But it does give you more information on how to be able to do things differently.
24:45
And that is so much what we want to do.
24:47
We want to impact and inspire people to act in the ways that we want them to do.
24:53
Whether it's buying a book or subscribing to a podcast or running a company,
24:59
any of those different things,
25:00
we want people to act. And so the more that
25:03
They're on board with that, the more they're gonna do that.
25:05
So that acceptance piece that comes in there is a big aspect.
25:09
You have to prepare yourself for what the circumstances may be.
25:14
Mm-hmm.
25:15
And then when you get in that moment,
25:16
accept it, let it go, breathe,
25:20
and and realize that you can't control that moment,
25:23
but you can be present
25:24
Mm.
25:25
in that moment.
25:26
Mm. Mm. It r it reminds me of you know,
25:29
just you know, r running, you know,
25:31
different companies I run and the conflict,
25:34
you know, that sometimes we have,
25:35
you know, with other with other team members and,
25:37
you know, the importance of of listening.
25:40
And I I think one of the struggles that we have sometimes is really,
25:44
as you stated, you know, really taking the time to really accept what they're
25:48
saying. It doesn't mean that, you know,
25:50
I I have a better understanding of where they're coming from.
25:53
It doesn't mean I'm going to embody that.
25:55
but I can accept their words and perhaps,
25:59
you know, we can come to a better conclusion as a result of that,
26:02
rather than, you know, as a leader,
26:04
you know, I'm pushing down, no,
26:05
we do things this way, and I don't care what you're what you're what you're about.
26:09
And it was interesting because you laid in that what I didn't expect is is,
26:14
you know, being able to influence someone.
26:17
You know, as a result of acceptance,
26:19
even though we don't come to terms on,
26:21
you know, whatever direction that was,
26:23
that's that's that's really brilliant.
26:25
That's really brilliant. And I guess in accepting,
26:28
we're pouring energy into that person because they feel heard,
26:34
they feel se they should feel heard and seen,
26:36
you know, as as a result of that.
26:37
Heard and seen and like
26:38
they belong to something.
26:40
Yeah.
26:42
That's why do people buy Rolexes?
26:43
Because they want to be a part of that group.
26:46
They want to feel like they belong in this particular group.
26:48
That's why they buy BMWs. That's why it's why we do so many different things because
26:52
we want to
26:52
Mm.
26:52
feel like we belong in a particular section or group.
26:56
I did a film years ago with Taraji P.
26:59
Henson and Sam Rockwell called The Best of Enemies.
27:01
Mm-hmm.
27:02
And a scene that stuck with me,
27:04
not from acting in it, but just from watching it.
27:07
The basic premise of that is based on a true story,
27:11
Durham, North Carolina, 70s. And the premise is that they were talking about school
27:16
integration,
27:17
Mm-hmm.
27:17
blacks and white school integration.
27:19
And there was a fire that broke out at one of the black schools,
27:21
so they were talking about integrating them into the white schools.
27:25
And they started to do that process.
27:26
Fast forward, Taraji P. Henson is a big civil rights activist.
27:30
Her character, Sam Rockwell's character,
27:32
is the head of the Ku Klux Klan in that region.
27:36
Mm-hmm.
27:37
And at these meetings where they're trying to decide on if school integration should
27:42
happen, and the schools are already integrated at a particular moment temporarily.
27:45
Mm-hmm.
27:47
Taraji P. Henson's character and the the Black families want to have gospel music
27:52
at the end of these meetings. It's a part of their culture.
27:55
They want to have it. It makes them feel good.
27:56
So
27:57
Mm-hmm.
27:57
the stipulation was: if that's what happens,
27:59
Sam Rockwell's character says,
28:01
then we get to put our KKK materials out in the hallways for people
28:06
Mm-hmm.
28:06
to enjoy it. And they made that agreement.
28:08
They said sure. And Taraji P. Henson sees these young teenage boys.
28:13
Messing up this display, ripping up the KKK pamphlets.
28:17
And she runs up to him and goes,
28:18
What are you doing? And essentially calls them fools for doing that.
28:22
They're giving you all the information about how they think,
28:26
how they operate, how they do things,
28:28
and you are ripping it up and throwing it away.
28:31
You should be taking this knowledge,
28:32
Mm.
28:33
learning from it, adapting it.
28:36
And when you do that,
28:38
Then you have more power to be able to influence people.
28:41
And that is where I've created
28:42
Mm. Mm. That's powerful.
28:45
all of my systems from whether it's a s a room of 10 people or it's
28:49
a stadium of 60,000 people. I often have
28:53
to create this sense of diversity and separation
28:59
and unify them within a matter of moments,
29:02
sometimes with even in seconds,
29:04
to have them.
29:06
Doing and acting and leaning forward and engaged with someone that they've never
29:12
met before. And
29:13
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
29:14
there's a power in that that any founder,
29:18
any executive, any leader, a DJ,
29:21
a host, a husband, a wife, anyone can apply to their lives.
29:26
And that's why I I frequently say that everyone is on stage.
29:32
Yeah.
29:32
Everyone
29:32
is a host, everyone is on stage.
29:34
Because a stage isn't what you think of as that normal thrust platform that's
29:39
elevated. Sure, that's a stage,
29:40
but to me, a stage is any moment eyes are on you.
29:43
It's any
29:44
Yeah.
29:44
moment that you are exchanging this connection and this this conversation
29:49
and this energy with someone, that is a stage.
29:53
Yeah. Yeah. I was I was thinking about you know going back to you know you
29:58
as a DJ and you know you've you've got your crowd,
30:00
you've got your audience here,
30:01
and your audience is diverse. You know,
30:04
so you have people that are interested in different,
30:06
you know, styles of music or whatever,
30:07
and you've got to be attentive
30:08
Yeah.
30:09
to that because you are the host.
30:11
And what immediately came to mind is being on stage as a speaker.
30:16
Now you've got a topic.
30:18
You know, and people are going to respond like differently throughout the audience.
30:22
And, you know, I know as a speaker,
30:25
I would prefer to get energy from the audience.
30:28
You know, I don't want everybody just sitting there,
30:31
you know, kind of, kind of, kind of dozing off.
30:33
And so I'm curious, how do you how do you create that that flow like
30:38
in an environment like that where people aren't necessarily gonna be like,
30:42
you know,
30:43
Yep.
30:45
man, you were you were just absolutely speaking my language.
30:48
So th that's why that's why I created these these frameworks that I have.
30:52
Yeah. And please dig into them,
30:54
you know, as as much as you want to.
30:55
Yeah, so I I
30:56
I have an introductory type of program,
30:57
which I call Flare Lab, which gets you in and introduces some
31:01
of the print principles that you just talked about.
31:03
There's a spark sequence that is all about how you open something.
31:08
What it what is it how do you open up the room?
31:11
What is it that you're saying?
31:11
What is it that you're doing? So I've created an entire system of how to do that,
31:15
and you can replicate that and duplicate that in any situation that you're in.
31:22
And that's that's
31:24
A part of that opening sequence.
31:26
I have a system that I have that's called save for what we were talking about
31:29
earlier. When things go sideways and it doesn't go according to plan,
31:34
again, these are all acronyms of how you save that particular moment without
31:40
freaking out, without panicking,
31:41
because
31:42
Mm.
31:43
no one cares if you're freaking out,
31:45
no one cares if you're panicking.
31:46
They're there for a particular
31:46
Yeah.
31:47
reason, and you are on that stage,
31:49
you are the leader, you are in that moment to guide them.
31:53
Where they need to be. So you have to have a particular self-concept
31:57
and groundedness to be able to do that without relaying that things have gone
32:01
sideways. So to come back to your your question there of how you do that,
32:06
how you connect with people in the very beginning is it is this game of
32:10
of ping pong that happens.
32:12
Mm-hmm.
32:12
And I teach this entire framework on how to gauge the energy of an audience.
32:17
Let's say it's a scale of one to 10.
32:19
Mm-hmm.
32:20
You're backstage of an event. It is,
32:22
you're about to give a keynote.
32:24
There are, let's say, 2,000 people out there in the audience.
32:28
Mm-hmm.
32:28
As you're backstage, we're listening and we're feeling into the energy that's
32:32
in the room. How amped up are they?
32:34
Are they really excited? How was the speaker that was before?
32:37
Is there an actual host or MC that is transitioning these pieces?
32:41
Where did they take them in that energy level?
32:44
And so
32:46
We figure out where they're at.
32:48
So let's say that they're energetically at a four.
32:50
Mm-hmm.
32:51
If you come out at a seven, an eight,
32:53
a nine, a ten, these people are gonna go,
32:55
whoa, too much too fast. They're gonna lean away from you.
32:58
Mm. Mm.
32:59
But if you gauge
33:01
that and they're right around a four,
33:02
let's say, and you come out at a five,
33:05
a six, that lower seven energetically,
33:08
they're gonna go, okay, I love this.
33:11
This is this is great. Let me lean into it.
33:13
Mm-hmm.
33:14
Sometimes you need to do that in reverse.
33:16
Sometimes they're maybe at a four or a five,
33:18
and you want to bring them down a couple notches because that
33:22
Yeah.
33:23
locks in their focus, their attention,
33:25
because they're so high up here.
33:26
And if something is so high up here energetically and it's big and it's this,
33:30
and man, we can't wait till it gets there.
33:32
And someone comes out and they go,
33:33
I'm so excited to be here because this is going to be incredible.
33:39
I can talk about the pitch and the pace and the pause and all of that,
33:42
that it goes into public speaking communication,
33:44
but energetically,
33:44
Yeah.
33:45
what did I just do? I just grabbed them and I pulled their energy right to me.
33:50
So
33:51
Mm-hmm.
33:51
now I have their focus and I can guide that focus.
33:54
So
33:54
Mm-hmm.
33:55
when you come out and you've already gauged that energetic level of where they are,
33:59
there are going to be people that are resistant,
34:02
that don't necessarily want to be there.
34:04
They had a bad phone call, they had an argument with their wife.
34:08
They they wanna be somewhere else because they're kids having a baseball game,
34:12
but they have to be at this conference.
34:13
Whatever the case is, there's something happening in that person's head that
34:17
is gonna have them closed off,
34:19
leaning back, not there. When you come out on that stage,
34:23
don't lock in on that person. If
34:26
Yeah.
34:27
you see that person, don't lock in on that person because they will
34:30
be in an energetic vacuum and they will pull you down and you're gonna
34:33
get into your head of.
34:34
How do I make this person unfold their arms?
34:36
How do I make this person lean in?
34:37
How do I make them? You can't.
34:39
You can't make them do any of that.
34:39
Mm. Mm-hmm.
34:40
It's the same analogy
34:41
I gave about the ship going down the river.
34:43
You cannot control what they do.
34:46
You can't align their energy and where you are going with your why and your goal
34:52
and your mission and why you were on that stage to speak.
34:54
So in that, find those people that are leaning in,
34:59
that are smiling, that have a particular energy that is going to give back to you.
35:04
Mm.
35:04
Because then
35:04
you look at them, you connect with them,
35:06
you give back to them. The people around them that may be a little close
35:10
off are gonna go, and he just looked right at them.
35:12
It's like they know each other.
35:14
I want him to know me. This is this is cool.
35:16
And then that one person that you connected with that was already open
35:19
is gonna help open these people up.
35:21
wow.
35:21
And then these people are gonna help open those people up.
35:23
And then the next thing you know,
35:25
you have an entire group of 2,000 people that is leaned in,
35:29
listening, motivated.
35:31
ready to take action on what you say because energetically at the very beginning
35:37
you open that sequence the best possible way.
35:40
Here's an application of that.
35:43
Sometimes speakers will have their papers that are on the podium.
35:47
The
35:47
Mm-hmm.
35:47
opening line is Hey everyone,
35:51
just like Aaron said, I'm Rick Meekins.
35:53
I'm so excited to be here. What do they do?
35:55
They come out, they look at everyone,
35:58
they get to the podium, they down.
35:59
Hey everyone, just like Aaron said,
36:01
I'm Rick Meekins. I'm so excited to be here.
36:02
Yeah.
36:03
You know your name. You know you're
36:05
Yeah.
36:05
excited to be here. There's no reason for you to be looking down at that paper.
36:08
Yeah, yeah.
36:09
That is the most simplistic possible fix in the very beginning that
36:13
you can possibly do is to come out open,
36:16
looking at everyone, connecting with everyone.
36:19
Hey everyone, just like Aaron said,
36:21
I'm Rick Meekins I'm so excited to be here.
36:24
And then get into it. Because then now you've already connected with people
36:29
and energetically they're going,
36:30
Wow, okay. If you come up to someone and you
36:32
Mm, mm.
36:33
shake their hand, you're like,
36:34
hey, I'm Rick Meekins
36:35
Mm-hmm.
36:36
And you do that, they're gonna be like,
36:37
What's this person's deal?
36:39
Mm-hmm.
36:40
So
36:40
I can talk about all this stuff just like I was saying earlier.
36:43
I can talk about it all, but it's information.
36:45
It's knowledge. It is
36:45
Yeah. Yeah.
36:47
one rep that you get in, and that only gives us that information.
36:51
It's the reps that create fluency.
36:53
And that's a lot of what I do in my just like that program and the Flare Lab,
36:59
which is an introduction to to just make that,
37:01
is really teaching these programs that are the energetic aspect.
37:06
of public speaking and communication and body language.
37:09
and we get into all of those as well,
37:12
but just like I said at the beginning,
37:13
energetically, it's a whole different world when you know how to operate that.
37:18
So so you once again you have us on the edge of a cliff.
37:21
Yeah.
37:22
How do we get the training, man?
37:23
~
37:25
it it
37:26
it's it's great. so my website holds everything.
37:29
It's aaronsmalls.com It has everything from keynotes that I do to
37:34
the hosting side to the DJing side to some of the frameworks that are there.
37:38
And my newsletter that goes out,
37:40
which is just aaronsmalls.com forward slash newsletter.
37:43
You can find it on the website.
37:44
I put these different insights in the newsletter monthly.
37:48
I put some of these frameworks in there monthly.
37:50
I
37:50
take stories from events or experiences that I've done or done recently
37:55
and I put them in there. So you're getting the application of it
37:58
and you're getting the story of it.
38:00
so those frameworks are in there.
38:01
That's a great place to do it.
38:02
My website is a great place to get them.
38:04
And again, people are are here,
38:06
they're listening, they're watching,
38:08
and I'm so appreciative of it.
38:09
And when we get to the the end,
38:11
I'll throw something out there for people because they're here with you,
38:14
Rick, and I appreciate it.
38:16
that they can get even more of these frameworks from me.
38:19
Grateful, grateful, grateful. so here we go.
38:21
Our our our question of the day,
38:23
the name of the show is the Relentless Pursuit of Winning Podcast.
38:27
And for
38:27
Yes.
38:28
most people, we can identify winning,
38:29
you know, pretty easily, whatever that's gonna look like.
38:32
The hard part is doing the reps,
38:34
the that relentless pursuit. What can you offer our audience to help them maintain
38:39
that relentless pursuit?
38:41
What can I offer for them to help continue that relentless pursuit?
38:46
You have to love what you do. If you don't love what you do,
38:50
why do it? Why spend 10, 15,
38:53
20, 30 years doing something that you don't enjoy and that you don't love?
38:58
Maybe you spend a few years doing it because
39:03
Mm-hmm.
39:03
you need to make money, you need to be able to pay your bills,
39:06
but then on nights and the weekends,
39:07
you're doing something to be able to create the thing that you love.
39:12
Mm.
39:13
In the beginning,
39:14
Of this conversation, I talked about engineering.
39:16
I love knowing how things work.
39:19
Engineering sounded and felt like the right course.
39:23
And then I got into it and I was introduced
39:25
Mm-hmm.
39:26
to this entertainment world, and everything changed.
39:29
Someone put a microphone in my hand,
39:30
and the entire world changed. Not just for me,
39:32
but for the people that were in my sphere of influence.
39:36
Even those people that are in my sphere of concern,
39:38
the world changed for them too.
39:39
Because
39:40
Mm-hmm.
39:41
That activated my gift. I don't call it a passion.
39:43
Mm.
39:44
I call it a gift. What are you so great at that no one else can do better than you?
39:50
One is being authentically you,
39:52
but it's your gift. So for people,
39:57
I say lock into your gift. What is it that you love?
40:01
What is it that you do authentically better than anyone else?
40:05
Lock into that and share that with the world.
40:08
Mm.
40:08
Don't gatekeep
40:09
it, don't hide it, don't protect it.
40:11
Put it out there. Once you know it and you have it established,
40:15
put it out there because you can tell some some you can tell something
40:19
to someone one time, they'll hear you and then they'll move on.
40:23
But if you continuously tell it,
40:26
you continuously say it, it doesn't just become embedded into your body because
40:31
words are energy.
40:33
The words that we say have an energetic frequency to them.
40:36
So if we're speaking positively or in an uplifting manner,
40:39
that's gonna resonate with ourselves physically and with those around us.
40:44
Mm-hmm.
40:45
Contrary to that, negatively, whether we're talking negatively about someone else
40:49
or our ourselves,
40:49
Mm.
40:51
our minds, our bodies don't know the difference.
40:53
Mm.
40:54
So find that thing that you love that you that makes your heart sing.
40:59
And that will allow you to relentlessly pursue it when you get those no's,
41:05
when
41:05
Mm.
41:06
you get the rejections, because that is resilience.
41:10
And as anyone in sports will tell you,
41:13
it's not about how many times you get knocked down,
41:16
it's about how many times you get back up.
41:18
And having a framework
41:19
Yes, sir.
41:20
and a knowledge and an ability to be resilient.
41:24
Is much easier when you love doing something that you're doing versus when
41:29
you don't. So that
41:31
yeah.
41:31
relentless pursuit starts with yourself and your self-concept and your mind,
41:36
those thoughts, and then those thoughts will create your words,
41:40
and your words will create the actions.
41:42
And that will be a trifecta that will continuously run.
41:45
And that is a big
41:46
Yeah, yeah.
41:46
part of the charismatic advantage in the art of social energy.
41:51
Yeah, man. That's that's really great.
41:53
That's really great. I'm d I'm just thinking about that from the perspective
41:56
of like even just like shedding,
41:58
you know, you find that thing that you love and you just like start shedding
42:02
all those other things that you
42:03
Mm-hmm.
42:03
know are outside of that gives you,
42:05
you know, a level of freedom actually
42:07
Yeah.
42:08
to just focus on what you do great.
42:09
And yeah, that's that makes absolute sense.
42:11
Thank you so much for that. Okay,
42:13
so for your third cliffhanger,
42:15
you left
42:16
Yeah.
42:17
You leaked that you might have something for our audience.
42:19
Can you tell us a l little bit about that?
42:21
Yes, absolutely, absolutely. So I I already talked about the newsletter.
42:26
A lot of great information comes from that newsletter on my website again,
42:31
aaronsmalls.com forward slash newsletter.
42:33
a lot of great insights, how I break down running a room and commanding
42:39
a room and the systems and the stories.
42:41
they're a lot of fun. So that is something that people can jump onto.
42:45
And then another thing that I have are strategy sessions.
42:49
For people that are 30 minutes,
42:51
you can book a strategy session with me.
42:53
And then I get in there and I really dive into what you're doing,
42:58
what your why is your goal, your values,
43:00
and then I find how we can amp that up energetically.
43:03
Where are
43:03
Mm.
43:04
we leaking energetically and what we can do differently?
43:08
to really amp up your business,
43:10
your organization, your speaking,
43:12
your presence, any of those things.
43:15
And so generally the strategy strategy session that is 30 minutes
43:21
is 350 for that. ~
43:23
Mm-hmm.
43:24
for any of our relentless pursuit of winning folks that reach out to
43:28
me and mention that they found me through the podcast,
43:33
we're gonna 50% that. We're gonna cut that in half.
43:36
So 175 for them, 30 minutes,
43:40
we get into it.
43:41
We'll get into some of these concepts.
43:43
We'll really talk about what you have coming up.
43:45
What's the next room that you're going to be in?
43:48
What is
43:49
Mm-hmm.
43:49
a time that you've left a room and you go,
43:52
man, that could have gone better.
43:55
Yeah.
43:55
That definitely could have gone better.
43:56
That is a big part of what I do is making people feel when they leave a room.
44:02
Wow, that was really great. I really enjoyed that.
44:05
That was that was a good experience.
44:08
And not.
44:10
what I said earlier, not this plan of you're gonna be this and you're gonna
44:13
be that and you're gonna that.
44:14
We tap into your guidelines, we tap into your goals,
44:17
your whys, your vision, and we really take those strides forward.
44:22
And because I'm coming from an entertainment background,
44:27
it's likely different from your background and your perspective.
44:31
And
44:32
Mm-hmm.
44:32
when you do that, it allows one to think outside of the box and it
44:36
Mm-hmm.
44:36
allows
44:37
you to be able to yes and an idea or a concept instead of it getting shut down.
44:41
we did that before. We did that already.
44:43
We did like, so
44:43
Yeah.
44:44
those are those are some of the things that I can throw out there and offer
44:47
to your viewers and your listeners is the newsletter.
44:50
Sign up for that and to reach out and we'll we'll chop that strat strategy session
44:55
in half for you.
44:57
Awesome, Aaron. Thank you so much.
44:58
This has been this has been a great conversation.
45:00
You got my my little ticker ticking.
45:02
I love that. That's what it's about.
45:05
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
45:06
And
45:07
folks, I want to thank you so much for watching or listening to another episode
45:10
of the Relentless Pursuit of Winning Podcast.
45:12
We'll catch you next time.