Latest / The Daily Sarcast / March 24th, 2026: The LaGuardia Crash, Apple Ads And Lindsey Lessons

Transcript

March 24th, 2026: The LaGuardia Crash, Apple Ads And Lindsey Lessons · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is sponsored by Spying on People's Phones on the Subway.
• 0:04
  Why is it more interesting than your own life, even when they're just scrolling on TikTok?
• 0:09
  What if you never had to go home because you were already there?
• 0:12
  The Odyssey turns the entire world into your neighborhood. The owner of a 15-year
• 0:18
  cruise that costs up to $440,000 and visits 147 countries, and hundreds of people have already signed up.
• 0:27
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
• 0:32
  I'm Lindsay Vernick and today is March 24th, 2026.
• 0:36
  What's up? Happy Tuesday.
• 0:38
  You may or may not hear my roommate practicing for her mini tour this week.
• 0:43
  If you're in either Virginia, Philadelphia, New York, or Boston,
• 0:50
  make sure that you click on the link in the episode description to get tickets
• 0:54
  because it's going to be a really fun show that you don't want to miss.
• 0:58
  And you can also hang out with me if you're going to be in Philly or New York.
• 1:02
  In real news, apparently PepsiCo is discontinuing over 20 snacks and people
• 1:08
  are calling it the snackpocalypse, which is perfect.
• 1:12
  I mean, it's never the boring snacks that go. No one's taking away the plain
• 1:16
  lays. Those are going to outlive us all.
• 1:19
  Those chips will survive the human race.
• 1:21
  No, it's the unhinged flavors that are going. The ones that are called spicy pineapple and regret.
• 1:27
  The ones that you tried once and then you're like, wait, I actually kind of like this.
• 1:31
  The worst part is about this is that there's no warning. They're just disappearing
• 1:36
  like your most recent hinge date.
• 1:38
  Like, if you like that flavor hint of cucumber chaos, it's gone.
• 1:41
  And I mean, who was that one for?
• 1:44
  Who was sitting there like, you know what this chip needs? Spa water energy.
• 1:48
  And I mean, who can we trust anymore? Now we have guys and chips ghosting us.
• 1:53
  And now we're expected to move on like nothing happened.
• 1:57
  I won't. I remember them. All 28.
• 2:01
  LaGuardia Airport was shut down after a runway collision between a commercial
• 2:05
  plane and an emergency vehicle on Sunday night.
• 2:07
  An Air Canada Express flight was coming in from Montreal and hit a Port Authority
• 2:13
  firefighting truck around 11.40 p.m. on Sunday.
• 2:17
  Two pilots were killed in the crash, and more than 40 people,
• 2:21
  including the passengers, crew, and first responders, were taken to the hospital.
• 2:25
  Most of the injured were released yesterday morning, and there were no other
• 2:28
  serious injuries, luckily.
• 2:30
  The plane was operated by Jazz Aviation and had over 70 passengers and four crew members on board.
• 2:36
  And that's where it gets more complicated. The firefighting vehicle was already
• 2:40
  on the runway, responding to a separate incident.
• 2:43
  So this wasn't just one isolated incident. It was an active emergency situation
• 2:49
  with crews already in motion and then another collision happening on top of that.
• 2:54
  The FAA put a full ground stop in place, shutting the airport down yesterday
• 2:58
  afternoon while crews responded and investigators worked to figure out exactly
• 3:02
  how both ended up in the same place at the same time.
• 3:05
  There was a rumor that there was only one person working as air traffic controller,
• 3:10
  but there was actually 33 people working.
• 3:13
  So flights were delayed, canceled, rerouted. Basically, if you were flying through
• 3:18
  the Guardia yesterday, your day was completely derailed, and then some.
• 3:22
  But obviously the focus here is the loss of the two pilots and the people who were injured.
• 3:27
  Air travel is usually extremely safe, which is why something like this stands out so much.
• 3:32
  I mean, you're more likely to get into a car accident than have something happen while you're flying.
• 3:37
  Apparently, Apple is about to start adding ads to Apple Maps,
• 3:41
  which means when you search for i don't
• 3:44
  know coffee the first result might not be the
• 3:46
  best coffee it's just going to be whoever paid the
• 3:49
  most to emotionally manipulate you businesses will
• 3:53
  not be able to pay to show up at the top of your search results above the actual
• 3:57
  useful ones with the good ratings because clearly what we all wanted while looking
• 4:02
  for what we want is just more distractions and less accuracy and this isn't
• 4:07
  new for apple they've already added ads to the Apple store, the news app, TV,
• 4:12
  basically anywhere your eyes rest for more than three seconds.
• 4:15
  It's just funny because Apple's whole brand used to be, we're better than that.
• 4:19
  And now they're like, we're better than that. But also, what's really better?
• 4:23
  And the best part about all this is that this is all happening because a trillion
• 4:27
  dollar company needs more services revenue.
• 4:30
  So at what point do we just get ads mid-directions? Like, turn left in 500 feet
• 4:36
  after this quick message from Subway.
• 4:38
  And then what? Our GPS is just going to start gaslighting us like you've arrived
• 4:42
  when you really haven't.
• 4:44
  But you've arrived at Sweet Green and they currently have a salad for less than
• 4:47
  $22 that you must order before the sale ends in two hours.
• 4:51
  And chances are I'll end up ordering it. In Lindsay life, I'm back living my
• 4:56
  regularly scheduled life because I've been sick for the past two weeks.
• 5:00
  And I lived a full Monday yesterday, which means I worked at the spa first thing
• 5:04
  in the morning. I had improv in the afternoon and then stand-up at night because
• 5:09
  resting just isn't my thing, which is why I've been sick for the past two weeks.
• 5:13
  Lindsay lessons, a lesson by linds. Sometimes, if you pull very oddly specific
• 5:19
  stories for your improv class, like being late to work because your roommate
• 5:23
  made really good banana bread, or the crazy women at an Upper East Side spa,
• 5:28
  people are going to think that you're just really creative when in reality you're
• 5:31
  just pulling from your actual life.
• 5:34
  Cooking tip of the day. It's worse to over-salt something than under-salt it
• 5:38
  because you can always add more saw it later.
• 5:41
  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date,
• 5:44
  email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com.
• 5:47
  Thanks so much for listening and talk to you guys tomorrow.