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The Strength to Sit With It · UNLOADED

0:01
SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to our podcast unloaded.
0:04
SPEAKER_01: This is Michael Seahorn.
0:05
SPEAKER_04: Shannon Morough.
0:07
SPEAKER_01: And today marks our episode number 12.
0:10
SPEAKER_04: Yep.
0:11
SPEAKER_01: How you been doing, Shannon?
0:13
SPEAKER_04: Good.
0:13
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
0:14
SPEAKER_04: I still have a little cognitive dissonance when you say episode 12, and I get it.
0:19
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
0:20
SPEAKER_04: But counting the trailer, I guess I wasn't counting the trailer.
0:24
SPEAKER_04: They count that as one.
0:26
SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
0:26
SPEAKER_04: That's pretty it's it's a separate piece.
0:29
SPEAKER_04: So this is the 12th of the 12th file.
0:33
SPEAKER_04: So I gotta allow for it.
0:34
SPEAKER_04: Okay, this is number 12.
0:36
SPEAKER_01: Number 12, man.
0:38
SPEAKER_01: Hopefully everybody out there in the our are listeners, and hopefully I welcome uh some new listeners out there as well.
0:44
SPEAKER_01: Um our last episode we talked about you know living living it daily, living with this every day, dealing with life, dealing with situations, dealing with uh whatever it is uh us humans deal with, you know, because it's it's a pretty broad stroke out there when it comes to what people have to endure or deal with.
1:06
SPEAKER_01: It's such a it's very vast.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's very vast.
1:10
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and of course I'm gonna provide the counterpoint as well.
1:15
SPEAKER_04: Many of us have uh fairly safe places we live.
1:23
SPEAKER_04: And in those relatively uh safe homes or residences, um turn on the tap water, ooh, clean water comes out.
1:35
SPEAKER_04: Flip a light switch, hey the lights come on.
1:37
SPEAKER_04: We have electricity, we have indoor plumbing, they're bringing all this good water all the way to wherever we live.
1:44
SPEAKER_04: Um we have comfort, you know, probably food in the fridge.
1:50
SPEAKER_04: We have our little furniture, our beds, our sleeping surfaces, which, you know, have the at least the the space to be able to get a good night's sleep.
2:03
SPEAKER_04: You know.
2:03
SPEAKER_04: Um and then even move in throughout the day, you know, we generally safe transport, transportation if many of us own a vehicle or have ways to get around where wherever we need to go, you know, pretty most of us I believe here um enjoy a fairly um safe, you know, um society we live in, our our communities.
2:32
SPEAKER_04: And um, I'm continuing to ramble here because Mike's on his phone.
2:36
SPEAKER_04: You're good.
2:37
SPEAKER_04: I'm trying to stretch or buy him time a little bit here.
2:39
SPEAKER_04: No, you're good, man.
2:40
SPEAKER_04: I appreciate that.
2:41
SPEAKER_04: You should it's crazy.
2:43
SPEAKER_04: I'll get into yeah.
2:44
SPEAKER_04: Um still putting out fire, still dealing with problems.
2:47
SPEAKER_04: And my whole counterpoint was yeah, we are dealing with so much as Mike's demonstrating right now, just working, working, working, grinding, grinding.
2:55
SPEAKER_04: And I'm over here, there's an effing therapist, just saying, but man, relatively look, you know, like let's allow for both sides, and like God, we we have pretty comfortable lifestyles comparatively.
3:10
SPEAKER_04: You know, you look throughout history, throughout time, and and the we're all living like kings, even just relative to a few hundred years ago.
3:20
SPEAKER_04: I mean, the amount of things we own, often too much, that becomes a problem.
3:25
SPEAKER_04: The amount of food we have access to, the amount we can travel around, the the structure and safety within our communities, you know, like what could be the problem?
3:35
SPEAKER_04: Look how I mean it for a lot of you take travelers throughout time from back in history, looking at our life now, like what?
3:42
SPEAKER_04: You you have an excess of food and relative safety in your home and all this comfortable shit, and you're complaining about how rough life is?
3:52
SPEAKER_01: It's very relative.
3:54
SPEAKER_01: It is very relative, and I apologize to the listeners.
3:57
SPEAKER_01: He I have so many things going on sometimes.
4:00
SPEAKER_01: I I try my best to uh be here in the moment, but unfortunately I do I do have a career out there.
4:06
SPEAKER_01: I got my own business, I've got some other pokers in the fire.
4:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm just I'm we're doing podcasting, so I try to I try to minimize my distractions when we record, but unfortunately, sometimes my uh my staff are like, hey boss, I uh I know you're busy, but I need this like before four o'clock today.
4:23
SPEAKER_01: So anyway.
4:24
SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, I I think that's an interesting uh thing, is because we don't no, we don't I I maybe oftentimes we do forget.
4:36
SPEAKER_01: Um we are highly blessed here in this beautiful country of ours and um in our own ways in our own mindsets.
4:44
SPEAKER_01: Uh Shannon is correct.
4:45
SPEAKER_01: It's sometimes you do gotta remember there's always two sides to the coin, right?
4:49
SPEAKER_01: Uh there's always another another side, the yin and the yang, or the positive and the negative.
4:54
SPEAKER_01: There's always, you know, those those two points of view, right?
4:58
SPEAKER_01: Something interesting happened last week, beside my uh complete challenging uh week, as it were.
5:09
SPEAKER_01: Someone um was telling me, um, so I have to be careful how I word things sometimes on the podcast.
5:20
SPEAKER_01: An individual came in, talked to me, and in that conversation, they were like, Oh man, you wouldn't believe uh this person.
5:27
SPEAKER_01: We had a uh another individual was in this uh talking to this person, and they they don't really know each other.
5:35
SPEAKER_01: It's it's very just minimal on the professional side, they just know of each other.
5:39
SPEAKER_01: But anyway, in this moment of time, this person started unloading on this other person and we and we talked about this in an episode.
5:48
SPEAKER_01: We did.
5:49
SPEAKER_01: And the person that was sharing this with me has no idea about my podcast, they have not listened to any of our episodes, okay?
5:57
SPEAKER_01: But real life example in the flesh, and they were telling me they just started telling me about this and that and their financial problems and this that they went down a pretty good list.
6:13
SPEAKER_01: I was like, Man, I wouldn't tell that to my probably most of my family, like that's some crazy, like I got bankruptcy issues, and I got my my cars gonna get repo, and I got uh this and this this poor person was like, like, I can't handle this.
6:29
SPEAKER_01: And she told uh they told me that they they said it was too much.
6:34
SPEAKER_04: And and you say that poor person that was just trying to listen or handle all that, and of course I'm gonna go to the individual that is actually describing these circumstances how pent up they were, that they needed to let out some of that distress they're carrying around, to be seen a little, to be heard a little, to just uh vent, because that is very useful.
7:04
SPEAKER_01: It is, and I like we talked about, you know, there is a counterproductive thing about unloading on people that you don't know and you don't know if they have the capacity to listen to all of that.
7:15
SPEAKER_01: And that person also told me that as soon as it went quiet, she just started filling the void with other stuff too, you know what I mean?
7:26
SPEAKER_01: But it's it's just very it's very surreal, if you will, when we've talked about some things on our podcast, and then you you hear it in real life.
7:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean it's like a shiny light in your face.
7:39
SPEAKER_01: It's like, man, we were we were just talking about you know, unloading on people that may not have the capacity to accept and listen to all of that, you know.
7:48
SPEAKER_01: So anyway, I wanted to share that because that just happened last week, too, and amongst my craziness that was going on.
7:54
SPEAKER_01: So uh but as we move forward with you know living in this thing daily, I I I I think a lot about see what you listeners don't see is and maybe one day you will we will do some YouTube or live video, I don't know, but what what sometimes when I'm communicating, I have Shannon just looking at me and I'm I'm like I'm thinking to myself, if I say A, maybe Shannon will probably go B.
8:26
SPEAKER_01: So anyway, that's a lot of thinking there, man.
8:28
SPEAKER_01: That's just something weird thing that goes on in my brain sometimes.
8:32
SPEAKER_01: But um when we live in this daily, and I'll I'll say this cautiously, as I look back at last week and and and dealing with the things that I was dealing with, and even coming in right after an issue and doing a live podcast recording with you.
8:53
SPEAKER_01: I look at like what what does strength mean to you, Shannon?
8:58
SPEAKER_01: As it relates to as it relates to our world here in Unloaded, in the therapeutical or in the unloading world.
9:10
SPEAKER_01: Therapeutical.
9:11
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm trying to use making up words.
9:15
SPEAKER_01: For those of you who do not know, something about me is and my staff loves this, by the way.
9:22
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes in mid-conversation, I might get a little bit excited, and I will legitimately make up words in my sense.
9:31
SPEAKER_01: It makes sense, and my staff thinks it's absolutely hilarious.
9:35
SPEAKER_01: And I have a couple of my staff members that will literally write these words on their whiteboards.
9:40
SPEAKER_01: This is how words are created.
9:42
SPEAKER_04: They're gonna be in the dictionary.
9:43
SPEAKER_01: And if we have dictionaries in 10 years from now, it's um sorry, off topic, but I do I do have a way of just creating words out of the thing there, if you will.
9:54
SPEAKER_01: And I don't know how that happens, but uh they do they do remind me weekly when I come by their office.
9:59
SPEAKER_01: They're like, hey boss, remember you said this?
10:01
SPEAKER_01: And I look up at the board and I go, Yeah, I remember.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: I love that word.
10:05
SPEAKER_01: I use it now.
10:06
SPEAKER_00: So anyway.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, go ahead, Shannon.
10:09
SPEAKER_00: Strength.
10:10
SPEAKER_04: Ah, I was trying to buy a little time there.
10:12
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
10:13
SPEAKER_04: In the therapeutical sense of strength.
10:16
SPEAKER_04: Um Thanks for your patience here as I'm attempting to be a little more present in this moment.
10:26
SPEAKER_04: Because I, you know, I my mind goes four or five different directions of how I could answer this.
10:32
SPEAKER_04: And I want to be uh like we've I want to be as real as possible.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: So should I expand a little bit?
10:39
SPEAKER_00: Give a little more context?
10:41
SPEAKER_01: Sure, yeah.
10:42
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so as I often do after um going through my process and looking at the circumstances, look at how I was feeling, look at the things that were going on during the whatever the issue was that I was dealing with, oftentimes I will find myself afterwards, I will so often after my meditative uh series or session, depending on how long it is, could be five minutes, could be thirty, could be fifteen, just I let the day dictate that and things that are going on internally too have a very profound impact on the duration.
11:26
SPEAKER_01: But a lot of times after that, when I'm sitting down just to journal my thoughts, I find myself writing words that either are coming into my mind or they're relatable to the situation I'm trying to figure out.
11:47
SPEAKER_01: So strength came up last week.
11:50
SPEAKER_01: Weirdly enough, when I look at the three incidences that happened concurrently in three consecutive days, the word strength came into my mind.
12:01
SPEAKER_01: I I don't dismiss that.
12:03
SPEAKER_01: That's just how I process things.
12:05
SPEAKER_01: If if I'm in a a meditative session and I'm sitting in silence and I'm just sitting in in peace and I'm breathing and I'm focusing on my breath and I'm focusing on being present, and a word comes into my mind, I just generally hold that word and then when I'm done with my meditation, I'll I'll jot that in the journal.
12:26
SPEAKER_01: And I just thought, what what does like what is strength?
12:31
SPEAKER_01: Like we what does strength look like when we're in those moments of um difficulty, if you will?
12:39
SPEAKER_01: You know, is it is it strength like oh I can endure anything under the sun?
12:44
SPEAKER_01: Is it you know um I'm so strong, I'll just pack it all away for you know next year.
12:50
SPEAKER_01: You see kind of where I'm going now in the context of like when I looked at the word strength and I was like, well, why why is that coming into my mind?
12:58
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
12:59
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
13:00
SPEAKER_04: And so thanks.
13:01
SPEAKER_04: Let's narrow this.
13:03
SPEAKER_04: Is this a mental strength?
13:06
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I think it's a mental, mental emotional strength.
13:09
SPEAKER_04: Mental emotional, yeah, not how heavy of a thing you can pick.
13:15
SPEAKER_01: No, how much you bench press, bro.
13:16
SPEAKER_01: No, those days were over.
13:19
SPEAKER_04: Come on, let's do push-ups right now, man.
13:20
SPEAKER_04: Let's do push-ups.
13:22
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
13:22
SPEAKER_04: Um so you are right.
13:23
SPEAKER_01: I th I I'm in the context of the what does strength look like in our emotional, mental when we're dealing with something that we're working through.
13:34
SPEAKER_04: Again, I'm trying to distill it.
13:37
SPEAKER_04: Like, if we are working through, I guess I'll return to your example as best as possible without really knowing the specifics.
13:45
SPEAKER_04: If we are working through something that's triggering us a little bit, that we're we can feel the we have enough self-awareness to recognize, like, ooh, this is creating an emotional response within me.
14:03
SPEAKER_04: Oh, my heart's speeding a little fast, my blood pressure's going up, I'm ooh, I'm yep, here comes some emotion, and we recognize, oh, this is hitting me and bringing emotion.
14:15
SPEAKER_04: Then what is strength?
14:18
SPEAKER_04: I think that's maybe right there to begin with.
14:21
SPEAKER_04: One of the greatest strengths is we have developed the ability.
14:26
SPEAKER_04: Strength is often developed, and we have developed our strength enough just to even recognize.
14:34
SPEAKER_04: Whoop, oh, this is getting me right now.
14:36
SPEAKER_04: Whoop, here comes some of them.
14:38
SPEAKER_04: Oh, and just acknowledging it, allowing for it, seeing it, like, okay, okay, and then I think where you're going more, as you have demonstrated, mostly being able to manage it, like, yeah, okay, this is hitting me right now.
14:54
SPEAKER_04: There's some emotion here, and I have the strength to acknowledge it and manage it.
15:01
SPEAKER_04: And even after, then to and tomorrow morning, man, and when I'm meditating or journaling, then I'm gonna process this more fully.
15:10
SPEAKER_04: That that's all different aspects.
15:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I and I think the reason I was looking at that word or why that word came to me is it takes a little bit of strength, and I and I don't want to get so focused on words because it Shannon and I have the same, I think, philosophical idea that you don't words are it's some some things it's are very hard to explain, so we try to do the best we can with the vocabulary that we have available.
15:37
SPEAKER_04: Which isn't which isn't great.
15:39
SPEAKER_04: So you our listeners probably know at this point.
15:42
SPEAKER_01: We we try to keep things very grounded, and I try to keep things very real.
15:46
SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm not here trying to pull the you know college words out of the dictionary that people are like, oh, never heard of that in my entire life.
15:54
SPEAKER_01: So we do try to keep it grounded.
15:57
SPEAKER_01: When I look at the three concurrent days last week of what I was doing with, and when I think of strength, came to me that it takes a little bit of strength to mental and emotional strength to not only continue to endure those consecutively, but it also takes a little strength to sit in that moment and have a difficult conversation.
16:23
SPEAKER_01: Because I could have I could I could have pulled the Eve that cord and been like I don't want to talk about this.
16:29
SPEAKER_01: Or I'm not gonna talk about it, or I just sit, listen, shake, nod, get up, leave.
16:36
SPEAKER_01: But but I think for me, I was looking at that strength.
16:42
SPEAKER_01: The strength comes when us humans can sit down with each other, man, and just really have a difficult conversation because we know intuitively when we have this conversation or we need I'll use some air quotes for the listeners when you need to have a difficult conversation.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: That takes strength.
17:02
SPEAKER_01: Right?
17:03
SPEAKER_04: It does by definition, almost.
17:04
SPEAKER_04: I I again wish I could look up the definition of strength right now, um, but uh it's not the path of least resistance.
17:12
SPEAKER_04: It's not just ease or the way water is gonna naturally flow.
17:18
SPEAKER_04: It's you know, no, uh going the other direction, uphill.
17:22
SPEAKER_04: It takes more endurance, it takes a little more um even you know force, you know, just basic physics, you know, of enduring a situation.
17:35
SPEAKER_04: And I'm gonna try and stay on what Michael's referring to here.
17:40
SPEAKER_04: If we are engaged in a very um kind of challenging conversation, and um it is a um demonstration of strength to regulate ourselves, stay in the conversation, um be aware of our own like emotional reactions while also having the strength to stay present, engage with the other, listening for understanding, attempting to remain as neutral as possible, to manage our emotions through that.
18:17
SPEAKER_04: All this is strength.
18:20
SPEAKER_04: Um because if we were just uh dump it and just do whatever came easiest, then it would look very different.
18:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I th those are all great great examples, and I think I want I just want people to know that sometimes the small wins, in my opinion, they stack up fast.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: The small ones do.
18:47
SPEAKER_01: And sometimes when we're when we're in it, we're going through it, we're dealing with it, we're unloading it, we're carrying it.
18:54
SPEAKER_01: It's so easy to miss all of the small wins along the way.
18:59
SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah, we're we're already just looking at the next thing.
19:02
SPEAKER_04: We're like, oh yeah, next, next, next.
19:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I I just want our listeners to know from from my standpoint, from my my point of view, is don't miss your small wins.
19:12
SPEAKER_01: Give yourself some grace.
19:14
SPEAKER_01: But when you have to be in a difficult conversation or there's something that you just don't want to talk about with somebody, but you know it's coming regardless, just remind yourself, man, you've done it before.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: You've you've you've probably done it a hundred times, ten times, one time.
19:29
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
19:30
SPEAKER_01: It maybe this is the first time, I don't know, but just remind yourself, I can do it.
19:35
SPEAKER_01: You know, stay grounded, stay in it, have the conversation.
19:39
SPEAKER_01: And like Shannon said, you know, you don't have to, we don't have to agree with everybody.
19:43
SPEAKER_01: We don't have to agree with everything.
19:45
SPEAKER_01: You have to deal with it however you are going to deal with that, right?
19:49
SPEAKER_04: And that's by choice a lot.
19:51
SPEAKER_04: 100%.
19:52
SPEAKER_04: Uh not 100%.
19:53
SPEAKER_04: Uh I know that's a common saying these days.
19:55
SPEAKER_01: I I what I mean is that you the 100% is you always have a choice.
20:01
SPEAKER_04: Most of the time.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: This is this is where it gets interesting, what Shannon and and Mike is.
20:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm always preaching pretty much.
20:12
SPEAKER_01: Uh if you ask my staff and family, they will tell you.
20:15
SPEAKER_01: I I talk about choice a lot because I I believe that that's the greatest thing in my personal life is to choose.
20:25
SPEAKER_01: I can choose to come here and do this podcast, I can choose not to.
20:28
SPEAKER_01: I don't have to do it.
20:29
SPEAKER_01: I can choose to go to work, choose not to go to work.
20:31
SPEAKER_01: Are there consequences to everything?
20:33
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely there is, but I still have a choice.
20:38
SPEAKER_01: Still have a choice.
20:39
SPEAKER_04: Can you choose how you are feeling in, you know, in a moment?
20:47
SPEAKER_04: Like in if you're having a really hard day, you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed, you feel like hell, you're low, sad, down, and don't even want to go to work, you know, it's all you can do to drag your ass to the office and and then like up, here we go, and you're just down.
21:07
SPEAKER_04: And so how much choice do I guess I'll keep it with you, you know, if you're feeling pretty low, pretty down, and can you just choose to what do what do you choose there?
21:21
SPEAKER_04: Where's the choice?
21:23
SPEAKER_00: They don't have to go to work.
21:26
SPEAKER_04: Oh, you said they okay.
21:27
SPEAKER_01: Them, they person, right?
21:29
SPEAKER_01: So do you Shannon scenario, which I which I've been in.
21:33
SPEAKER_01: I've I've been in that position uh uh cool.
21:37
SPEAKER_01: I've been in that position more times.
21:38
SPEAKER_01: I did I don't honestly want to be I didn't even want to be honest about that.
21:41
SPEAKER_01: I've been in that where you wake up, uh especially pre X.
21:47
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what the X is in in my head right now, but I remember many, many times what Shannon just said when I was going through it and I was trying to get in this healthy journey and trying to figure out.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: Something.
22:01
SPEAKER_01: There were many days of what Shannon just said where I was like, why the fuck am I even doing this?
22:08
SPEAKER_01: At the time, my choice of lifestyle was a motivator on you know, in a way, it was like, hey, I gotta go work.
22:17
SPEAKER_01: I need a paycheck right now.
22:19
SPEAKER_01: I can't afford not to get paid.
22:20
SPEAKER_01: I gotta put food on my table and I gotta keep the lights on.
22:23
SPEAKER_01: And I'm a father and a husband, and I have responsibilities.
22:26
SPEAKER_01: So unfortunately, I'm gonna drag my sorry carcass into the office today and try to make the best of it, right?
22:31
SPEAKER_01: Been there and done that.
22:34
SPEAKER_01: Now it looks very different now.
22:39
SPEAKER_04: And I think I know why.
22:41
SPEAKER_04: And uh I guess I'm yeah, if we're in therapy session right now, then I'd I'd make you explain it to me.
22:49
SPEAKER_04: I don't in the interest of time and we're just like we're doing a podcast.
22:53
SPEAKER_04: I know I'm gonna dude, it's I think when a lot of us learn that we have choice, not so much in oh, I feel like hell, I'm really sad today.
23:09
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I'm just gonna choose to be happy, all right?
23:11
SPEAKER_04: No, no, no, no, no, no.
23:13
SPEAKER_04: We can't just we wouldn't want to just choose to change our mood or anything.
23:17
SPEAKER_04: That's like, oh, that's that's a been an interesting message sometimes.
23:22
SPEAKER_04: And I think the choice is more like huh, can it be okay?
23:29
SPEAKER_04: Like, yeah, I feel like hell, okay.
23:33
SPEAKER_04: Uh I can try to not feel like hell, or I could try to fake it, or I could avoid it, or numb it out, or whatever, or just choose to be in it.
23:47
SPEAKER_04: Like, yeah, this is very uncomfortable.
23:49
SPEAKER_04: Choose to be in the discomfort of whatever mood we're in to choose to be with it, face it, feel it, just allow for, as they say, sit with it, and then ah, whoa, we've okay.
24:07
SPEAKER_04: You know, the choice is just often acceptance.
24:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
24:12
SPEAKER_00: No, I don't disagree with you, man.
24:14
SPEAKER_01: It's you know, I don't want anybody to think that we're just saying, oh yeah, choose A, you're good.
24:19
SPEAKER_01: Uh I'm just saying just remind yourself sometimes because some that's what I have to do to myself sometimes.
24:25
SPEAKER_01: Uh sometimes I have to remind myself, hey Mike, okay.
24:29
SPEAKER_01: Yesterday was tough.
24:30
SPEAKER_01: Check that box, okay?
24:33
SPEAKER_01: So what do I want to do now?
24:35
SPEAKER_01: Right?
24:35
SPEAKER_01: Just like I explained on the last podcast, you know, I have a way of trying to bring my temperature down.
24:42
SPEAKER_01: How you know there are things that I have in my process and in my discipline now that I'd never had 10 years ago.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: Ten years ago is vastly different than 11 years now in the present time.
24:54
SPEAKER_01: I've I've been able to find some successes along the way in doing things in my personal life a certain way, right?
25:03
SPEAKER_01: I remind people, especially in my inner circle, especially uh as a leader, and especially as um hopefully some type of a person who is trying to keep the light and keep some positivity when a lot of times uh maybe that's not the case.
25:23
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
25:24
SPEAKER_01: But I do like to remind some people sometimes.
25:27
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, hey man, you you got a choice.
25:28
SPEAKER_01: Man, you need a day off.
25:30
SPEAKER_01: Take a day off, choose that.
25:32
SPEAKER_01: It's okay.
25:33
SPEAKER_01: You know, and Shannon's right.
25:34
SPEAKER_01: I I've chosen to sit in my in my stuff a lot because if I can't process it right away, then I have to sit with it.
25:43
SPEAKER_01: I choose, I have to.
25:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I gotta choose that because I know internally what the damage could be if I don't figure it out at some level.
25:57
SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna be honest with you, and I'm gonna say this right now so nobody can try to check me on this.
26:02
SPEAKER_01: There have been plenty of times where I don't have a resolution per se one way or the other.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: I've processed it, I've sat with it, I chose to look at it and feel it and just encapsulate it, if you will.
26:19
SPEAKER_01: And then at the end of it, I had no decision one way or the other.
26:25
SPEAKER_01: No, I just felt better that I processed it forever as long as it took.
26:31
SPEAKER_01: And now there are some things that I still have not processed.
26:33
SPEAKER_01: Yep, of course, right?
26:34
SPEAKER_01: That I'm still working through.
26:36
SPEAKER_01: You know, my mom passing away last year, never processed that fully.
26:40
SPEAKER_01: I know that's in there, I know that's in the safe, and I know how this works with me is that I will have to sit with that when I'm ready.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: You know, and I think that's a big thing too, is when we talk a lot, you hear me say it a lot on these podcasts is man, give yourself some grace, man.
26:59
SPEAKER_01: Please give yourself grace, give yourself some space to work through it.
27:06
SPEAKER_01: I have Shannon, so I don't know what to tell you guys.
27:09
SPEAKER_01: Go find yourself a Shannon.
27:11
SPEAKER_01: Find somebody that you you click with or you don't click with, but spend the X amount of dollars, book your hour, and go just go talk to somebody, and maybe you'll find that connection.
27:23
SPEAKER_01: And then maybe, you know, when I'm ready, I can come in and be like, hey Shannon, man, I just I'm struggling with this.
27:31
SPEAKER_01: This is where I'm at, this is what I feel, this is what I think about.
27:33
SPEAKER_01: And that is the power of this entire podcast of Unloaded is about what Shannon and I have done one hour at a time for a long time.
27:52
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
27:53
SPEAKER_01: I I don't know what the hours equate to, because like Shannon alluded to, you know, first off, it was every week, man.
28:00
SPEAKER_01: I had to talk to this dude every week.
28:01
SPEAKER_01: He's probably tired of talking to me every week.
28:03
SPEAKER_01: All I need to do is every week, you know, and then it went to two weeks, and then it went to, you know, once a month, and it went back to every other week, and then I have a hard time, and we went back to weekly.
28:12
SPEAKER_01: So over the 11 years, it's been all over the map.
28:14
SPEAKER_01: Yep, yeah.
28:17
SPEAKER_01: But that one hour, man, is so powerful.
28:22
SPEAKER_01: Uh for me personally, for me, it's powerful.
28:25
SPEAKER_01: And there are times, listeners, that Shannon won't say maybe three words because I'm just unloading, man.
28:33
SPEAKER_01: I'm just getting that weight, putting it down, and just getting it out for someone to hear me.
28:39
unknown: Yep.
28:39
SPEAKER_04: Yep.
28:40
SPEAKER_04: And that is by choice.
28:42
SPEAKER_04: You are very intentional about that.
28:44
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, and that's there's just so much power in that, and there's strength in it.
28:49
SPEAKER_01: There's the other thing too, right?
28:50
SPEAKER_01: We come back to that.
28:51
SPEAKER_01: There's strength in being able to come and sit in with with my personal confidant Shannon, my counselor Shannon, and feel enough strength in our relationship and trust that boom, I just put it out there, right?
29:05
SPEAKER_01: That takes strength.
29:06
SPEAKER_01: I don't have to do that.
29:07
SPEAKER_01: No, right?
29:08
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
29:10
SPEAKER_04: In near the beginning, it was a little more difficult for you.
29:13
SPEAKER_01: It was more pulling teeth in the beginning.
29:16
SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
29:17
SPEAKER_01: Right.
29:17
SPEAKER_01: I'll use it.
29:18
SPEAKER_01: I'll put it out there.
29:19
SPEAKER_01: I'm not, I'm not scared to say it.
29:20
SPEAKER_01: But in the beginning, it was pulling teeth.
29:22
SPEAKER_01: It's like, how do you feel today, Mike?
29:23
SPEAKER_01: And I feel like shit.
29:26
SPEAKER_01: And then I would just sit there.
29:27
SPEAKER_01: Chad is like, okay.
29:30
SPEAKER_01: I'd sit there with you a little bit.
29:31
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
29:32
SPEAKER_01: Just let it hang out there in the air.
29:34
SPEAKER_01: Shannon's got a unique way of just being present at that because I was not being very present in those days.
29:42
SPEAKER_01: You know, and then next thing you know, I'd be like, you know, I do feel like shit.
29:45
SPEAKER_01: And I feel like shit because of this and this and that and that.
29:47
SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, you're like, okay, here it comes.
29:50
SPEAKER_01: We're getting we're getting somewhere now, right?
29:52
SPEAKER_01: Just took a little that's all took a little, just a little pull of the tooth.
29:57
SPEAKER_04: A little tiny.
29:58
SPEAKER_01: He didn't pull it all the way out, he just tugged on it a little bit.
30:02
SPEAKER_01: But it's uh it's been good, man.
30:04
SPEAKER_01: Um what would you got anything else on that, Shannon?
30:08
SPEAKER_04: Uh no.
30:13
SPEAKER_01: It's been good.
30:14
SPEAKER_01: It's been good.
30:15
SPEAKER_01: Um hopefully our listeners um are are going to enjoy the next iteration of uh of our arc and um just talking about daily things because I think there's a lot of power in just talking about the daily stuff because that's where we all live.
30:36
SPEAKER_04: That is you know and we mentioned that in our previous episode as well.
30:42
SPEAKER_04: Like, hey, we want to get down to where things are more concrete, you know, and we're still hovering above it a little bit.
30:49
SPEAKER_04: We're we're having conversations, we're looking at it, and yeah, it's just because of the nature of the podcast, you know, we're we're still kind of contained.
30:58
SPEAKER_04: We aren't this isn't like our therapy session, it becomes very real.
31:03
SPEAKER_04: Um, and for good reason.
31:05
SPEAKER_04: We can't duplicate a therapy session in here, of course, because this yeah is opposite of therapy.
31:13
SPEAKER_04: This is not this we're putting our message out there versus in therapy, it's very confidential.
31:20
SPEAKER_04: It is yeah, you're safe to really go there, talk about the real nitty-gritty, and you know that it's not leaving that room and it's locked away.
31:31
SPEAKER_04: And uh, so how do we uh uh continue to try to get more down to the ground level, talk about the real, the nitty-gritty in here, um without you know, um divulging details?
31:50
SPEAKER_04: Uh because I don't know if you know you can see how that they're opposite.
31:56
SPEAKER_01: They are opposite.
31:57
SPEAKER_01: Man, it's a it's a good point.
31:58
SPEAKER_01: And we'll have to wrap up in here in a few minutes, but I think I think for me talking about daily struggles, just like I talked about in our last episode, is I just want our listeners to know that that that for me this is an ongoing journey in my in my self-help mental health, spiritual help journey.
32:23
SPEAKER_01: It's a it's a constant work.
32:26
SPEAKER_01: It's constant work and it's a daily work, sometimes hourly, minutes, seconds.
32:30
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
32:31
SPEAKER_01: It's it's all over the map.
32:32
SPEAKER_01: But I want our listeners to be confident and to know that Shannon and I are here and we're just talking about the realness of life and the power of why we created unloaded and why we hope people listen to our content.
32:50
SPEAKER_01: And it's not some two dudes that are pie in the sky talking about things that are so hard to understand, is I want our listeners to really feel and understand that even during these recordings, just as I put it out last episode, life is going to continue.
33:10
SPEAKER_01: Our lessons are going to continue, our experiences are going to continue, and that is such an amazing thing because, like Shannon said last episode, you'll have ups, you'll have downs, you'll go sideways, you'll go the other way, and you'll go up the mountain and down the mountain, and you'll get to see something cool, and you might get to see something not so cool, right?
33:26
SPEAKER_01: I didn't say all that.
33:28
SPEAKER_01: Um expanding on Shannon's uh last episode, you have to listen to it.
33:34
SPEAKER_01: But I just feel that over the next six, seven episodes, is Shannon and I were going to do our hardest to really get down to trying to communicate and talk about how does all of this unload and make sense on your on on the day, on the daily, living in it every day.
33:56
unknown: Yep.
33:56
SPEAKER_04: And I think the big one to take away from today, as we've talked about when even when you're waking up in the morning, just kind of that thought process that goes on in your mind, you know, that narrative, just be aware of it, and just kind of like seeing the thoughts, okay, thoughts, and okay, and the mood, the emotions, okay, there they are.
34:18
SPEAKER_04: Yep.
34:19
SPEAKER_04: Just recognizing having plenty of acceptance, plenty of grace for ourselves, and yeah, and that just that alone, just knowing ourselves a little bit better, goes such a long way.
34:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it's a it's a good segue into the next episode, to be honest with you.
34:37
SPEAKER_01: So maybe we'll we'll dial into that on a more micro level.
34:42
SPEAKER_01: Next next episode is you know, what does that really look like when you wake up feeling like you know, and and we'll get we'll we'll talk about what Shannon just put out there.
34:51
SPEAKER_01: So I I think that would be a good segue for the next episode.
34:54
SPEAKER_01: Sounds good.
34:55
SPEAKER_01: Or like always, uh, I appreciate all of our listeners out there, each and every one of you.
34:59
SPEAKER_01: Uh uh, hopefully you're getting something positive um out of the podcast.
35:03
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're getting negative.
35:04
SPEAKER_01: I don't know, it's the duality of life.
35:06
SPEAKER_01: Um, but either way, I appreciate each and every single listener out there that's uh listening to us and supporting us in some way, shape, or form, spreading the good news.
35:15
SPEAKER_01: Um, but as always, uh this this podcast episode is coming to an end.
35:22
SPEAKER_01: Uh, I hope each and every one of you out there just have a good week.
35:26
SPEAKER_01: Um go do something fun, whatever that fun looks like.
35:29
SPEAKER_01: You know, do something fun, man.
35:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, do something exciting for yourself.
35:32
SPEAKER_01: Do something fun.
35:33
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you know, yeah, that this life, man.
35:35
SPEAKER_04: There's there's a lot of fun to be had.
35:36
SPEAKER_01: So much good experience that you can just enjoy.
35:39
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, focus on that this weekend.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: I hope everybody has a great weekend.
35:44
SPEAKER_01: Uh for uh our unloaded podcast here.
35:46
SPEAKER_01: This is Michael Seahorn, Shannon Morrow.
35:48
SPEAKER_01: And we'll catch you on the next episode.