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The 5 S's of Personal Transformation · #BeMoreLobster

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today I am so excited to be sharing with you something brand new that I am teaching my clients inside the Personal Transformation Program.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it's called the Five S's of Personal Transformation.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: But to be quite honest, you could use this framework to help you create any change or to reach any goal because how you do one thing is how you do everything.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you've heard the saying.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: But more than that is because this framework is fundamentally set up to help you get whatever it is that you want.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: We just happen to be talking about personal transformation because I genuinely tend to speak to women who are in times of transition or they're in challenging life seasons.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And they don't want to just survive through it, they want to thrive through it.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to just kind of be riffing on this one today.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's no notes, there's no kind of script.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: So please make sure you have your brew and pen and paper because there's going to be some gold in here for you, I know.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And let's dive right in.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, like I said, there's these five S's.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: The first four that I'm going to share with you are not in any particular order.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: The fifth one, I want you to imagine it being like the Godfather.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: The fifth one is the, you know, like the ruler.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's the one that's going to really define how you show up in all those other four areas.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then right at the end, I'm going to share a little ritual with you that I encourage my clients to do as a way to anchor into and embody this version of themselves.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that is really, really important.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: So without further ado, let's dive in.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just going to grab my notes here that are from my framework.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to just read to you the beginning part of this worksheet that I give my clients.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it says this program isn't just about learning new tools, it's about coming home to who you really are, beyond the limitations, the patterns, and the stories that have kept you playing small.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: I've created a ritual of intention for you to use every time you need a moment of clarity and a soft exhale.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: The five S's will be your foundation.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Come back to them whenever you feel wobbly.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: They are your anchors.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And the more you ask yourself the questions I'm about to share and give yourself to give yourself time not to just simply answer them with your brain, but to embody them, you'll be creating a neuromyofascia repattering experience.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: So before we go on, let me just explain to you what that last bit means.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: It basically means that we are going to be impacting the somatic shapes that we take on through our musculature, through and through our neurology, through our fascia, and we're going to repattern, we're going to reshape ourselves literally from the inside out.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how personal transformation really happens.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: So the first S is that of support.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now I don't know about you, but I have up until now, because I'm getting better, been notoriously challenged in asking for help in any area of my life.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: There is this part of me that says, just get on with it, just do it.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: I guess if I'm really honest, there is definitely a feeling of weakness or not enoughness.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that is not true.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I teach my clients this, but I'm being honest with you.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I know that when I'm not asking for help, I have to ask myself, like, what is the belief?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: What is the fear behind that that stopped me asking?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: The one thing that has really helped me with that was losing my dad.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because I was in such an incredibly bad place and I couldn't see a way out.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I literally, it felt like some days I couldn't even function as a human being.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: I had to ask my husband for help.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: So that was, I'm very, very grateful for that learning from that very difficult time.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: So when we're in just in life in general, it's important to ask for support.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: But when we know we're in these seasons where we're like, what the hell is going on?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: What's happening to me?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Where have I gone to?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it's a time of transition that you've chosen.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you chose to leave the job or the relationship or you chose to lose weight or you know, whatever it is.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: These seas, these these seasons and these times of transitions are time when we really need to be clear about what support do I need and who do I need to get it from.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm going to put a little bit of a caveat in there and say the biggest supporter is you, but not at the expense of asking for anybody else for help.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: But you have to believe in you, you have to support you.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to start with this statement or this affirmation quote, whatever you want to call it.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Healing doesn't happen in isolation.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Growth needs safe containers.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: So when we're talking about transition and we're talking about seasons, oftentimes it does come with an element of healing, not all the time, but oftentimes letting go of things that no longer serve us, people that we haven't, you know, that we've been that we're no longer.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: But also that in order to grow, our body needs to feel safe.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: There is so much emphasis on, you know, just changing our thought patterns, but we have to create this sense of safety in our body that we're going to create something new that our body doesn't recognize.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: And trust me, she will resist in very weird ways if you don't create that safety container.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: So here's some questions I want to offer you that are going to help you to think about where, how, and from whom you need support.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: The first one is who do you feel safe being fully yourself with?
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you don't feel safe with somebody, if you don't feel seen and heard by somebody, it's going to be incredibly difficult for you to ask for the support that you need, to share your dreams, to share your goals and your visions, and then say, This is what I would love for you to help me with.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Are you available for that?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: So think about who it is that you feel really safe with, who you can be fully yourself with and maybe start there.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: You've also got to think about what kind of support do you need most right now?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Is there emotional support?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Do you need practical support?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you need the how-tos?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Do you need the formula?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Do you need energetic support?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Are you finding yourself so exhausted at the end of the day that you couldn't possibly focus on anything else?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Is there anybody else that can take some of the energetic load off of you?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: So we want to be thinking outside of the box for the types of energy that uh sorry, the types of um support that we need.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's also worth, like I've just shared, having a look at where do you tend to hide or withdraw instead of asking for help?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Let me share something that I think I've seen so many uh women do, and some of my friends have said it.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: So we're rushing around the house and we're doing like 20 different chores in one go.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're running a business, we're cooking the dinner, we're tidying up, we're preparing something for tomorrow, da-da-da.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And our partners are sat on the sofa, maybe on their phone or watching the TV or whatever.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And we just get angrier and angry and angry, and we make things loud and we slam things down because we feel like we shouldn't have to say, excuse me, could you come help out?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we just carry on and we just do it all of ourselves, and we just get angry and resentful.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And my husband says, All you've got to do is ask.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, shouldn't have to ask.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, for me, it's just not worth the argument.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's just just ask the question.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so notice where you don't ask for help.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: Notice why you don't ask for help, notice if that's building up resentment, and then how can you change the narrative around that?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: And the last one is what support am I willing to receive starting from today?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's another big thing.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: There's a there's going to be some of you that are going to find it very, very difficult not just to ask for help, but to receive it.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you never had help when you were younger.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you were taught that asking for help is weak.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many stories that we've been brought brought up to believe is true, that it's one thing asking for it, it's another um accepting that help and what you're making that mean.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the first one: support.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Who walks beside you?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: The second one we're going to have a look at is space.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: What's cluttering your transformation?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: What's cluttering your goal?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: We cannot invite in the new while we're clinging to the old.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: So this is about creating space in your physical environment, in your mental environment, in your emotional environment, so that you have the energy, the clarity, the courage, the space to create this transformation.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: So the first invite is to have a look at where you're holding on to clutter in your physical space, like what are you holding on to emotionally?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: What will you not let go of?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think what I'm very good at, and maybe you are too, is like getting your bit between the teeth and like not letting it go, you know, like a Jack Russell or some other dog just holding on.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: So what have you got to get rid of?
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, the space that we're creating is a space that's mind, body, spirit.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's your it's your home, it's your thoughts, it's your emotions.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, where in your life are you holding on to clutter?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then I want you to think about environments, spaces, people that you that you go to or that come to you, well that you can put yourself in, that really nourish you, your communities, the people that you have great conversations with, the places where you just kind of you can sigh and you can feel yourself being fed.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: And on the opposite end of the scale, where are those environments, those places, those people that drain you?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's taking up space.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Once you've got some clarity around that, you can ask yourself, well, what needs to be cleared?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: What needs to be cleared so that I can create some room for growth?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: What can I clear from my brain?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: What can I clear from my body?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: What people, what habits, what you know, mess in my home?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are all these things that can create the space for you to grow?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: And the one thing that I really want you to practice is this question.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: What does spaciousness feel like in my body and in my schedule?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: We often get caught in a belief system that in order to grow, to transform, to achieve, a schedule needs to be bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, like back to back, working it hard.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: I want to invite you to consider that what could be true is that as you slow down, you expand time.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: As you slow down, you expand time.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: I've certainly felt that to be true for myself, and it's a theory that I offer to my clients and ask them to just experience it for a while.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: So, what does spatialness feel like in your body and in your schedule?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Which beautifully leads us to the third S, which is schedule.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: What gets honored gets done.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: We schedule what we value, let your calendar reflect your becoming.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: This is huge.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Even when I very, very first started coaching, and the mentor that I trained with um talked about your freedom is in your schedule.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Now, at the time, I did not schedule.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to be free, I didn't want to be tied down, I didn't want to feel closed in.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And when he said your freedom is in your schedule, I there was an immediate resistance until he explained it.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, if you think about your diary being out in front of you and you show me your journal, your diary, I'll be able to tell you what's important to you.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because oftentimes we say something that's valuable, it's important to us, but we don't make time for it.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: But then he said, if you have a look at your diary and you're scheduling the things that are important, your family, your health, um, you know, your work, whatever it is, then you you've created specific time slots for it and you put in your fun times, you put in your friend times, you put in your down times.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like they get put into your schedule.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's where the freedom is.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's not so that you're accounting for every minute of your day, it's that your day doesn't become consumed by kind of just getting carried away with things, boundaries bleeding out, and then you get to the end of the day feeling frustrated and resentful because you haven't had any time for you.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: You schedule that stuff in, like maybe put that in your schedule first.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: So this is where you're starting to think a little bit more about okay, so what is the transformation that I want?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: What, and maybe for some of you, you're like, I don't know.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's fine.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't know, I'm gonna encourage you to just think about what feelings do you want more of?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to experience more freedom?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to experience more joy?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to experience more presence?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Do you just want to be able to breathe?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to create some space around your thoughts and your emotions?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're all at different points in our spectrum.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: I spent well over 10 years predominantly in the healing and the letting go arena, which was incredibly, incredibly hard.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um it was it was probably the hardest thing I've ever done, but so, so worthy.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: So please don't get caught up in your schedule, it has to be a list of to-dos.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe those actions are you creating space.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's you creating joy, maybe it's you getting out in the garden, just being in nature and planting some flowers, planting some veggies, like whatever it is.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: But the first question really starts with what sacred habits or practices do I want to commit to?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason I like to use the word ritual over habit is because it implies that there is intention.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: When we get caught up in making something, you know, making a habit, make a habit stick, 21 days, yada yada yada, we become, we can become detached from that.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: It just become, yes, it's beneficial because it becomes part of who we are and we don't second guess it.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: But if you want to be more present, if you want to be the person that embodies the things that you're doing, like I eat well because I love my body, we want to try and lean into a little bit more of the ritualistic energy.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: So, where in your week can you create space for breath, movement, stillness, and intention?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: So we're feeding back into the second S, which was space.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: People, like I say, get so uh caught up with having their schedule with a lot of list of to-dos and meetings and and things to go to.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And for some of you, that's a reality.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm gonna guess that somewhere, whether you're doing the carpool and you're waiting outside the school, or before you go into the office, or when you park the car on the drive before you come to the house, take five minutes.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Take five minutes to breathe in for four and out for four.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Take time to just be still.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: Take time to set intention.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: When I go through the door, I'm letting the stress of work, I'm leaving it the door, and I'm gonna come in and be present with my family.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'm gonna bite my tongue instead of jumping down my partner's throat as soon as they open their mouths.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's lots of things that can be intentional about, and also movement.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a massive advocate for um not just exercise, but for moving.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: So many people were sitting down like most of the day, and it is such a bad contributor or such a good contributor to bad health.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Please move.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you are doing some qigong or you're dancing around or you're walking the dog or you're just getting up and down and walking around your house, just keep moving.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: This next question is so powerful.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need to say no to to protect my yes?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: So your yes is your commitments.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Whether your commitment is to create a health transformation, a relationship transformation, a business transformation, a transformation from being a go, go, go alpha female to a I'm just gonna learn to go with the flow and be more spacious and be more present.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, where do you need to say no to protect your yes?
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: And here's a fun exercise if you want to do it, which is what does a day in alignment with my highest self look and feel like?
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: So when you think about the version of yourself that you're moving toward, that you're creating, what would the ultimate look like?
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that for you only looks like a month out.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't need to be six months, 12 months, five years.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: It can just be a month from now.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm somebody who loves to bring the goalposts forward.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: I have lots, I have massive difficulty with going further out than a couple of months.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of training myself to do it, I've just decided for now that I'm gonna just honor my goalpost being at one month and two months and three months, and that's enough.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's enough for my brain to manage and I can manage my energy better around that.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, what is a day in alignment with your highest self look and feel like?
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I did a reel about this recently to say that that version of yourself, she already exists.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because the very fact that you can close your eyes and visualize and embody what happens or what it's gonna be like for you to be in that future vision, the fact that you can bring that into your reality now means that version of you already exists.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: She does not come to fruition when you hit the goal, when you make the transformation.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: She creates the transformation.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna come on to that in the last one.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: So the fourth one is where the coaching really kicks in and where people can get triggered because this is standards.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: What are you no longer available for?
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: And this can include the BS that your brain keeps giving you.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just about boundaries, it's not about saying no to other people, it's not about um, you know, this like leaving things behind, like we said in creating space.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is what are you no longer available for for yourself?
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you need to stop doing certain things, saying certain things, believing certain things.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: So we don't rise to the level of our goals, we rise to the level of our standards.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: And when we raise our standards, we can hit the goals easily.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, what are you currently tolerating that is out of alignment with you?
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you keep doing something that you beat yourself up from, you're like, oh, why do I do that again?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know it's no good for you.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know you don't want to keep doing that, you know that's not who you truly are, and yet somehow you can't stop.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: What are the new standards I'm choosing for my relationships, for my health, for my work, and for my self-talk?
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: So let me just give you a couple of examples and on how simple this might look.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: As I've started to find my voice again after taking a long time out from losing my dad, and I love what I do so much.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: It is so easy for me to sit on my laptop at nighttime and tippy-tappy away and do some work.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: And my husband is sit there like watching the TV.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want that for our relationship.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, some of you, if you know, if you follow me on Instagram, you'll know that we've recently been uh we bought a camper van and we've been going away in that.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: So we've got a lot more adventures, but I don't want to be a couple that sit on the sofa and like say the odd word to each other.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's just not my thing.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I've got to raise my standards by putting my laptop and my phone away when he comes in from work.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to be present with him.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: I want to have conversations with him.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: When it came to um my self-talk, one of the things that I shared in my personal transformation group recently was that there is a misconception that when you, and I'm gonna say remove just for ease, when you remove a limiting belief, it does not automatically um that void, that vacuum isn't automatically filled with positive, resourceful beliefs.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: There's just a void.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: So you might be great, I'm not thinking that thing anymore, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you're thinking the thing that you need to think to get the change that you want to have.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm being much more choosy about the thoughts that I'm choosing to practice.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's a new standard.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of just getting being happy with I don't have the negative thoughts, I want to be thinking about the thoughts that I'm thinking to help me move to the next level.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that makes sense.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um what am I ready to expect and accept as my new normal?
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm very aware that I'm simplifying this a little bit because when we raise our standards, guess what happens?
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: It is painful, it is energetically consuming.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it is it's sometimes cringeworthy.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: There is a lot of unsafety around it.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just giving you this as a concept.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not telling you it's easy, I'm telling you it's worth it.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's a simple process, but it to activate it, there's some other things that have to go on.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I upgrade my life by upgrading my standards.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: I choose what I allow and I honor what I value.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: The last S, the Godfather, is the thing that's going to help you be the person who raises those standards, who asks for support, who creates the space, right?
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: And who does the scheduling.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is my favorite all-time topic, always has been, always will be.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been the thing that's changed the most for me on the grief journey, again, for which I'm very thankful.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's self-concept.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I becoming?
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing about this is who am I becoming is that you have to become her every day.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's a practice of becoming her every day.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: Not like I say, it doesn't, it's not, it's not her appearance doesn't happen in the in the result, in the outcome that you wanted.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's the the more you you bring her into your life now, the more you are her today, and the day after, and the day after, you and your visions, they align and they meet each other more quickly.
• 21:59
  unknown: So
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: What beliefs about yourself are you ready to release?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because let's face it, we often walk around with a huge bag of beliefs that do not serve us.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: The one that has has crippled me the most in my life is always had that feeling I was never enough.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't clever enough.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't pretty enough.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't um educated enough.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't suave enough.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't thin enough, like all the things.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it has showed up in so many ways in my life, like over and over and over and over again.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: So see if you can like take the superficial answers when you ask yourself, what are the beliefs I need to get rid of?
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe I'm going to encourage you to grab a journal.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: And every time you find yourself taking an action that's not in alignment with who you want to be, just be curious about what belief might be driving that and make a note of it because you'll realize that there is a lot more of these unconscious beliefs that we've probably bucketed into one place.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: But when we can differentiate and we can create some context around it, it's a lot easier to let go of the little ones rather than trying to get rid of a massive break belief around not being enough, just to start with.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: What would it look like to show up as the version of you who already has the life that you desire?
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is what I've just said before.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: When you see that vision of yourself and you can feel her and you can see her, and you can see how she looks different, how she stands different, how she dresses different, how she talks different.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can just envision that.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's and it's not to it's not to make it pie in the sky kind of out there stuff.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's so that you can say, oh, I noticed actually, like she doesn't have chipped nail varnish.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: And you can start there.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: You can just start by not letting your, you know, taking your nail varnish off and always having fresh paint on your nails, as an example.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: You might notice that she's stopped wearing, I don't know, trainers every time she goes out and she started wearing shoes.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: You might notice that she's resting more.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: So this is just an opportunity just to get creative and to be curious and to have fun with it.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: What truth about yourself are you ready to claim today?
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself that question now.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: What truth about myself am I ready to claim today?
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: I do know what like I could I'm gonna do a whole podcast just on self-concept because self-concept, we think we know who we are.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I've just turned 50 and I feel like I'm only just touching the surface of realizing how bloody amazing I am.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, I am blowing my own my own trumpet.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I spent so long feeling inadequate, insufficient, and um because I was comparing myself in all of the yardsticks, and taking a couple of years out has helped me to drop the yardsticks and just to come inside and see myself as a human being, as a soul, as a spirit.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: None of those other things have any sway on how I feel about myself or who I am, because I just am who I am.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: But we spend a lot of time in an identity that has been created for us by our teachers, by our parents, by our caregivers, by society, by TV.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, God help the kids these days with the social media, but we don't truly know who we are, and no one's ever taught us to do that.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: We've been, we've spent, we spend what, 20 years, maybe more if you go to university, of our life learning, um, learning how to learn, not learning how to think, to learn how to navigate and manage our brain and our emotions rather be rather than being at the mercy of those things, which is incredibly uncomfortable.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: So when you choose your self-concept and you're like, I want this other version of myself, you can guarantee that you're gonna have to manage your brain around how uncomfortable it's gonna be.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: There are gonna be, you're gonna have to increase your capacity to feel emotions that are like, ah, I don't want to feel this.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: I was working out earlier and my thighs were burning, my chest was burning.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I really don't want to feel this.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I want the feeling of finishing the workout and saying, yes, I did it.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: Self-concept is something that you can choose to grow.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about becoming fixed or becoming unbroken.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about becoming more, it's just about remembering and rediscovering who you truly are before these veils of illusion got pasted on you and you couldn't see your way through them.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to choose to see yourself through the eyes of possibility because that version of yourself is here now.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: All we have to do is remove the veils of illusion and limitation that have been placed upon you.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: So as we wrap up, the ritual that I share with my clients is this to light your candle and to place your hand on your heart, breathe deeply into your belly and repeat these words.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: I am safe to become, I am supported in becoming.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: And know that that one step is enough.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: That one step really, really is enough because you can't get to step 100 without step one and step two and step three.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: They all count, they're all as valuable as each other.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: And as I wrap this up and we've talked about these five essays of transformation, please remember that you are not behind.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: You are exactly where you're meant to be, and you are certainly not broken.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: You are just realizing and remembering that there are things about yourself that are not true, that other people have given to you, and we've taken it on because that's what we do.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you are now in that space, the perfect space for you to create a different vision.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, welcome to your very own personal transformation.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: I really hope you love this.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: As always, I'll ask for two things.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: I will extend an invitation first to please come join me inside the Seeking Simplicity uh Facebook group.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: I run a free book club in there, and we meet every Wednesday night on Zoom for some conversation and connection.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's fabulous.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: And also, if you're enjoying this podcast, I'd be so grateful if you could just take a minute to head over to Apple and just leave me a review.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: It really would help me a lot.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you once again, and I will speak to you again in the next episode of the Seeking Simplicity Podcast.