Latest / Heal Yourself Podcast / Episode 47: Stop Making Excuses for Not Living Your Truth

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Episode 47: Stop Making Excuses for Not Living Your Truth · Heal Yourself Podcast

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I'm Denise, a speech language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we're here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind and soul From the latest in functional medicine, of healing your body, mind and soul, from the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma and even transforming your money story.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: we're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: So, whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Heal Yourself Podcast.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: You have Kira and Denise today and we are talking all about self-betrayal.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Ooh, juicy topic.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: I think all of our topics are juicy.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I know but I love how we choose our topics, Like you text me what are we talking about?
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Self-betrayal Well, and a lot of it is from life experience or things we see in clients or out in the world.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: And so, yeah, sometimes stuff just comes to us, and other times I'm like I have no idea what we're talking about this week, do you I?
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: know, and then we just come up with a topic.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: But I really loved this topic because, um, you know, we constantly do it, especially as women, especially as mothers, and we rationalize why we do it.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: I literally just recorded a story about that.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Like, we just keep self-betraying and just justifying and coming up with excuses.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: So it's really important to you know, talk about it and have this conversation, because you know, you and I have done so.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: So much inner work, so much inner work and we're still here and there catch ourselves betraying ourselves.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: I mean, we always say it's a lifelong journey like healing is lifelong and then you just keep peeling back layers of the onion and that's the thing.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: When you said it, I was like gosh, what are we going to talk about?
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: And then, literally, like I had an aha of self and I actually just made a story or not a story, but a reel about that today.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Because the thing is is it is so common for us to not be true to ourselves, right, like we will push something aside or we'll ignore something or whatever that self-betrayal looks like not say no when we need to.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: That can tie in with boundaries, because we want to be liked or we're worried about what people are going to say about us, or it doesn't seem like they're like oh, that doesn't seem like the adult thing to do, or whatever it might be.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: And we do it all the time.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: And you know, it's just like I mean, every time you abandon yourself, every time you, you become less or you just get, oh no, I'll take that less, or that's not what I need right now.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: That's self-betrayal, you know what I mean?
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Like I, sometimes it just happens so subtly and like our body feels so like tight and no, but we convince ourselves ourselves oh no, just this time, just this time, you know.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: And then one time after the other, after the other, and we're like what the heck happened?
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: What the heck happened?
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Why am I?
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Because I feel that, because sometimes it gets piled up one after the other and then, all of a sudden, resentment starts creeping in.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: It's like wait a minute, where did that emotion come in?
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Well, this emotion came in because constantly I didn't listen to my body or I didn't listen to this whisper, right?
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: And it's becoming now it's not a whisper anymore, right, it's becoming actually an emotional issue.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so let's talk about what self-betrayal is, because I think it can have multiple definitions.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: I don't know what the real definition of self-betrayal is, but when I think of it, I'm thinking of not being true to myself, like not listening to what my soul is asking for, or going against it, and that I feel like can look like a multitude of things that can be just ignoring intuition and that's self-betrayal.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: It could be wanting to do something, but you're like no, I, for whatever reason, I'm not going to do that.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Someone's not going to like me or whatever.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: So then you do something else.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Do you have any other thoughts on what self-betrayal is?
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I'm going to give you an example right now, and it just literally happened, and I understand that what I'm going to say may be sensitive to the public.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: And and I just want to say that, if you are listening and say this is not a problem to have, this is a big problem to have, I have a big problem gaining weight.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Right, I don't gain weight easily.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I lose it very easily, like I am and I'm gonna be very honest and real I am five feet and right now I'm 78 pounds.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: I'm tiny, but that's under underweight, so, and that's not healthy, right, that could affect so many things, right?
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: So I've been wanting to gain weight and I know what I need to do to gain weight.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: So, for example, today I woke up and I've been telling you I've been waking up hungry, but I'm still delaying, like, oh, I have to drink my coffee first, I have to drink my water, and then it's like why am I not immediately making food for myself, even though I am waking up hungry?
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: So today we were recording at 9 and I had gotten dressed, because we're doing video, I wanted to make sure that I'm dressed, I'm presentable, and I was like, oh, I have 20 minutes, am I going to have time to do something.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: No, I'll just make something to eat after.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: But I'm hungry.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: My body's telling me, denise, you're hungry, right?
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: So I was like wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: So this is the ultimate self-betrayal, because I was gonna delay to eat, because I told myself.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I gave myself the excuse I don't have time.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: But what do you mean?
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I don't have time, it's 20 minutes.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: It's not like I'm gonna get in the car and drive 30 hours to record with you.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: I'm recording upstairs like it's two seconds to go up, so I just like.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: You know what?
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: No, I went in and I prepared my grilled cheese sandwich, my avocado toast, and I prepared my grilled cheese sandwich and my avocado toast and I'm gonna.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I'm eating right now.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: So if you're watching the video, I'm eating because I'm trying to gain weight.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: But and then, guess what?
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: I logged in on time, I also woke my daughter up.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: But it's just that, the constant lies and the excuses we give ourselves in order not to listen to our body.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean, or you?
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: You know, I had a situation where my body was so tensed up and instead of saying no and removing myself from the situation.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: I didn't.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: I stayed, and then a whole situation that I had to deal with for three weeks happened, had I had I listened to my body and yeah, so it's it's.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: It's when you are making the excuses for you not to doing something that your body's telling you to do, or your intuition is telling you to do and constantly telling you to do.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying like here and there.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: It's constantly your body's waking up hungry, like myself, and I'm constantly giving excuses I'm not going to eat, I'm not going to eat until later.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: What am I doing to myself?
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's the thing I think we can look at.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: There's so much we can unpack with this Um, and I've got a story I can share too, because obviously we're talking about self-betrayal for a reason, like I said you, you brought it up and I was like what am I going to say?
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: And then it was like ding, ding, ding knocking on my doorstep.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: Um, why do we do this?
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: Why do we feel like it's okay to betray ourselves?
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: Why do we not listen to our intuition?
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: What leads to that?
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: And I don't have an answer, but I think it's important for everyone to look into, because we are all guilty of this.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: We all deal with some type of self-betrayal on a regular basis, but sometimes we don't want to see it.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: It's these little things, like you said, like oh, I'm not eating.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: But then there can be this self-betrayal of like I know that I'm going to feel better if I eat this, but I'm going to go just eat cookies or I'm going to do this.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Well, you're betraying yourself because you're saying I'm not going to feel good.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: You're also betraying yourself because you're ignoring other aspects that need to be addressed right, like I always tell people, I'm a realist, I'm not a purist, but if you're always reaching for food that doesn't serve you, it's not that you have no willpower, it's that you're ignoring some type of emotion and that's self-betrayal.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I mean, again, there aren't.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's not an answer why we do this, but I could talk about maybe, because something came up to me why we do this.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: It's also our conditioning, what we grew up seeing, what we grew up hearing.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: I never thought that I grew up having problem with weight because I was always skinny.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: However, I have been watching and hearing my mother comment about weight, about my sister and my brother or other people, right, and it's constantly commenting on weight, constantly, and I was like wait a minute, so I must have heard it and it became part of me that it's not safe to gain weight, it's not safe to eat.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: You know it is, you know, skinny people or I don't know.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: I really don't know, but it could be the conditioning, it could be the habits and the patterns that we're repeating, it could be some things that we, that we didn't, I mean we're not even thinking about anymore.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: It's so subconscious.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: That's why it's really, really important to be intentional.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean and that's why here's what I'm going to say the whispers, I know.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: It's just like we're not scripted, we don't script, so sometimes you may get a whisper, like you know, like stay away from cookies, right, or but if constantly this is becoming a thing, then now you need to tune in.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: And when you're not tuning in, you're now you're going into denial, no matter how much work you've done and no matter how much healing you've done.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Look at me and you.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: You know we talk about this stuff.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: We even have courses and we teach people and all of that, and we still do it because it is a big part of our subconscious and we are.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: We need to be intentional right now, to be like wait a minute, I don't want to do this to myself.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Why am I doing this to myself?
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: And it can be in any area.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: Right now, I'm talking about eating, because my goal is to eat, but it could be in any area of your life.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: But just being true to yourself and what you want, what your body wants, and not justifying you know, for example, let's say you want to go to I don't know, you want to go to Spain and the whole family wants to go to whatever.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: This is not a good example, but just being true to yourself and just being intentional and and this does require a lot of self reflection, a lot and I know people don't want to journal.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: But you know what?
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Why don't you want to journal yourself, betraying yourself?
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, I don't like to write lies.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: This is the story I just made today.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: It's the lies we tell, we tell ourselves.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: And healing and change doesn't just come automatically.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Like you said.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, I went to therapy today, or I went to meditation and yoga and all of a sudden, or hang on, I'm going to give you an example.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: I opened a little meditation center and I have classes and now I'm healed.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: I heard that from from a practitioner.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: One day I'm healed, I'm like.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: And then I saw somebody commented I'm like, no, you're not, and it's not judgment.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: This is not judgment.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: This is just pointing and being intentional that healing is a journey and it's constant self-reflection.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: If you and I are so, so ahead in the journey and we still self-betray, you can only imagine someone who's at the beginning of the journey or hasn't even started the journey, how much self-betrayal you do.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think I mean we've said it before awareness is key, but it's the same thing.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: Awareness and self-reflection, like we have to be looking in the mirror all day long.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: Like you have to get to the point where every decision you make, every thought that you have, like this doesn't need to be an obsessive thing, but like in the moment, am I being true to myself?
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Is this what I'm choosing to do?
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: Is this thought what's serving me?
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: Do I need to move my attention?
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Like there are so many different avenues you can go, but yeah, we do this all the time.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: We make excuses for things.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: I will give my own example.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: Hopefully I don't go on too much of a tangent, but I made a post on this today and Denise knows this.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: I wanted to be an artist my whole life.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: Like as a little girl I was cutting up dish towels, you know, making clothes for my cabbage patch kids Barbies, like that.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: I wanted to be a fashion designer.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: I dressed crazy, I made my prom dress, I drew, I painted.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Like I took private art lessons.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Like that was it.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: It was living, breathing art.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: And then something happens and all of a sudden I was like I don't know.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: I question everything.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: I question if I'm good.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: A sudden I was like I don't know.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: I question everything.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: I question if I'm good enough.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: I'm questioning if I can make a living doing this.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's just something for fun on the side.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: And that's when I quit art school and I went back and I got a degree in English and then became a teacher and I did teach art for a period of time, but I mostly taught English and it's like art completely went by the wayside and I betrayed for decades.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: It really did, because art was such a big piece of me and whether or not it was my calling at the time, like I was supposed to be an artist, it doesn't, it doesn't matter.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: I was supposed to continue to create, even if it was just on the side, and I betrayed myself by, you know, telling myself all kinds of stories.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: And let me ask you this Do you think that you put art to the side and went to the English degree, or whatever?
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: because art doesn't make money.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: Yes, it was fear.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: It was 100% fear based.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: Right, you don't hear it Art doesn't make money, and I'm not as good.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: They die starving.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: You know, like they.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: You know it doesn't matter and I did not say this, but I've been.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know who said it, either Joe Dispenza or one of the meditations I listened to.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: We did not come here to react to life.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: We came here to co-create and to design the life that we want.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: So stop stop treating that life as if it's just.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm reacting to everything around me.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: You know, step into the person that you are meant to be and no more, no more.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: You know, and it's kind of like.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like when you put your foot down for your kid and say no chocolate after 10 or whatever, or whatever before that time, put your foot down and reparent yourself and say no, I am not going to self-detroit in any area, whether it's finances, whether it's this, it's that you know.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: And it's the career that you take you with art, like it's being true to ourselves and just looking in the mirror sometimes is scary.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: But it's healing scary, but it's healing.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: It's healing and it's rewarding because the peace that you have and the calm is just beyond.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: And I have been achieving that the past few weeks because I have been sticking to my truth and I have been standing in my truth and just the peace and the calm, because nothing has changed around me.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: There's still chaos, let's say, but there's still calm.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: There's calm and peace, and I've been telling you that on my walks because I have decided that no more yeah no, no, for nobody.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I don't care anybody.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: I love the people around me.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: I love my family, but I love me.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I love my nervous system.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing I shared the story, not because I think everybody listening is.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: You know a past artist, but it's things like that, like what did you love doing earlier in life that you have pushed aside because you know, oh, the kids, I've got to do this, or my husband's working, I don't have time for myself, or you know, oh, I can't do this.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: Like I hear that all the time with clients and it's no different than me.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Like my art aside, you are betraying what you wanted to do, like you have to find some time for that and then, if not, it's like Denise said, it's an excuse yeah, and then we do this constantly, right, we sell the trace of it to settle it and all of a sudden, we have the anger, we have the anxiety, we have the resentment, we have all these emotions and we're like why am I so angry?
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Why am I so resentful?
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: Well, guess what, honey?
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Well, guess what?
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: Because you've been betraying yourself and not being true to yourself, yeah, for years.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: So where does that gonna go?
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: It's not just gonna disappear.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Energy does not just disappear.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, and then it's so.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: So I feel let's talk about some of the subtle signs, which is basically, if you have any anger, resentment, anxiety, start looking in several areas of your life where you are betraying yourself and not being true to yourself and doing things for others when you don't want to do them, or doing things that literally I mean, like when your body tenses or when your body is not like expanding.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: This is a no.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Where are you saying yes to the things that you're going to say no?
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: to and.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: I was going to say people pleasing, which ties right into that.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: Like you're a people, I'll have you talk about that, because that's your.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: I know People pleasing.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: I mean me too, but I'm going to give you.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: Perfectionism like that can be a form of self-betrayal, because what, what, who are you trying to be perfect for yourself, or is it for someone else?
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: Because?
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: you want to look good.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I read it in the, in the book, I think, or somewhere, I don't know.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: I've been reading a lot.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: I think it's just like uh, she said I think it's Kathy Heller or I don't know who, but something like you know, we're worried so much about people are going to think literally five minutes.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: They're going to think, okay, they're going to judge you for five minutes and they're going to forget about you because, guess what, they moved on to another person.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: So why are you changing this whole life around you?
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: Just because to please this person who, literally, is going to judge one after the other, after the other, and at the end of the day, at the end of the day, I mean, if we're going to just like, stop the episode right now, the thing is, you answer to your higher self, you answer to the better version of you that's the only and to God, obviously, to the divine.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: You don't answer to your kids.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: You answer to your partner, your spouse, your coworkers, your boss, your employees.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: You know, answer to your kids, your partner, your spouse, your co-workers, your boss, your employees.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: Like some people, people, some business owners, they people please their employees.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, People who work for them.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: And we're not saying I have to put this in there as like a disclaimer.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: We're not saying to ignore your family because all of a sudden you're like I want to go, do all these things you can.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: That is going to make you a better mother, partner, spouse, friend, whatever.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: When cause this all goes together right, we're talking about betraying yourself, but it goes with the boundaries, it goes with people pleasing, it goes with all of that Like when you were tuning into what do I want, what do I need, what am I ignoring?
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: That's going to make you a better person.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, absolutely, and that's going to carry on to your family and to everyone.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: And then when they see you, like you know, calm and sticking being true to yourself, they're also going to learn again.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: They're like, oh my goodness, I want what she has.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: And then the people who don't, then they're just not meant for you, so that's.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: I think that sometimes, like I mean, we worry so much about other people and and what they think, and I mean, do you know how many times sometimes I've typed up a post and, oh, my goodness, I speak four languages and, darn it, am I making a grammar?
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: And I fuck it.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Like today, right now, as I was posting the story, and I was like, didn't you stop it?
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: And I just like, fuck it.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: Like today, right now, as I was posting the story and I was like, didn't you stop it?
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: And I just, you know, did so.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: These are the like.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Great awareness is great.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: I love how you mentioned awareness, but awareness without an inspired action is no bueno, right?
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: So, like, have the action that goes with that awareness, you know, and like I, I mean I told you that I've been delaying doing some excel sheets, because I don't like numbers and I don't like budgets, but budget is what's gonna get me to where I want to go and I, so that's.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: I'm like you know what.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Nope, I need to get my ass on that on the excel sheet, yeah, or whatever I wanted to do.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: But just look in your life and see, and.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: But the first, first of all, first of all, when you're listening to this, it's really important to look at the emotions that are constantly in your life.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Right, because I would tell you all the time I'm just angry and I don't know why I'm angry and great, yeah, go to the rage room and get it out.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: I get that.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: However, if we don't know what that source of anger is, with me, just self-reflecting and constantly walking and please, if you don't know, if you don't want to self-reflect and you don't want to journal, go on a walk, go on a walk?
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's my favorite thing Keep going around the block, around the block, around the block, and guess what It'll come to you?
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: It will come to you clear as day clear as day and things just start opening up and you just replace the chaos and the anger or whatever with the calm and the peace that you have been craving.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've been craving.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's my thing.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: I've been waking up before everyone and going on a walk in the morning and that's just where I get ideas, inspiration, peace, all the things.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: I just crave that walk.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing you guys know.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: We're always giving tools and strategies, but you've got to figure out what this is for you.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: Denise mentioned journaling.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: I'm going to own it.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: It's not my jam and I don't think it's self-betrayal.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: I just don't love to journal but I love to reflect.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: So basically I'm journaling in my head on my walk.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: I'm coaching myself nonstop.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: So it might be journaling, it might be a walk, it might be somatic movement, it might be your legs up the wall, like I don't really care what you do, but you've got to find a way to start to engage with that self-reflection.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: I have a tip that I just discovered on the walk and I know that we're.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: I was going to tell you that we're going to add it to the program that we're working on.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: It's walk and talk.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Like talk out loud to yourself, like a crazy person, yeah, or in your mind, because what you're doing in yourself, the fact that you're journaling in your mind, I work better because I'm very vocal.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: I work better with saying things out loud and I'm not saying like you know, you're walking and talking and like, but it's one, there's no, because I walk in the neighborhood and there's no one around me.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: And then, two, I'm just like whispering to myself, like I'm talking, like hmm, and then things, just so, for example, I'm walking, a thought comes in and I'm like wait a minute.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: So I say, wait a minute, is this a true thought?
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: Where did that come from?
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: And then I start.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: So I start walking and talking at the same time and this is my journaling and this is my.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I don't just come in and journal it.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: I haven't really journaled in my journal for a minute, but I mean I started yesterday again and I did it today.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: But on my walk there's been so much journaling in my mind and in my like, in my talking, because when you're by yourself and then, two, there's no one around to think you're crazy.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: And guess what, if they think you're crazy, it doesn't matter, because if they think you're crazy, they're projecting that on you, so it's on them, not you, right?
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: So like it doesn't matter, and if you are very self-conscious about it, go to a neighborhood where there's nobody.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: Or like what I mean.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: That's the same thing.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: I'm it out loud we're giving you the excuses.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: No excuses, that's the thing too.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: You gotta put on your bigger pants and be like no more, no more, like, yeah, sure, we can present things to you, and sometimes you and I sometimes, like, want to present things, you know, very like pc.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: No, if you are not happy with your life and you have anger, resentment, anxiety, all this crap feelings, then guess what?
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Something's got to change and that something is a lot of stuff.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: I know we've talked about self-love, but there's no self-love if you don't self, if you don't stop self-sabotaging and self-betrayal yeah, if you're not being true to yourself, that's it, that's I mean, you can soak in the bathtub for for 10 hours.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: But if you're not being true to yourself and saying no when you need to say no and saying yes when you need to say yes, and when your body says fuck no, you just go to the no.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: I don't care who's saying yes, it could be.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: I don't know, it could be the most influential person in the world telling you oh, you got to do this, but your body's saying, no, you believe you.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: You don't believe the guru or the whatever, because these people, us too we're giving advice based on our tips, based on our experiences, based on what we have been through.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so always listen to you, to your body.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: That that's why it's important to start tuning into your body and that's how you do with the walking and with the coloring, with art and with the breathing, and stop giving excuses I don't have time.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: I don't have time.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: I don't have time Because if you think you don't have time, look at your screen time.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my gosh, let's get the phone let's get the phones.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: Let's be real, let's be real.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Screen time.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: I'm scared I just typed it screen time, so go to, you have an iPhone yeah, yeah, okay.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: So for this week, you know how much, how much hours, how many hours I have and I've been reducing that, but it's been up 14% from last week.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: How do you okay?
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, so go to settings.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: I'm in screen time but like it doesn't show me anything, it just says limit usage communication.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: Wait, because I went screen time.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: Okay, so like I typed it in the search.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: Mine comes up screen time, but I think I have everything off.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: Like I never Like my daily average.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: No, I'm sure I will able to help you after this, because we don't want to make this too long.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: However, what I did is I went to the search and I typed in screen time and it says my daily average is seven hours and 10 minutes it's up 14% from last week.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: And this is me working on myself.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I'm still finding time to journal, etc.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: But guess what?
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: With that seven hours and 10 minutes, I could have done the the excel sheet that I would want me to finish, the templates that I wanted to finish, and I could have also set the budget that I wanted to set yeah so it's.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: So stop giving yourself excuses.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know, we don't want to baby you.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: No, we're real, we're real, you know.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: Stop giving excuses.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, I don't have time to meditate.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: We don't want to baby you.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: No, we're real.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: We're real, you know.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Stop getting excuses.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, I don't have time to meditate, I don't have time to walk.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Look at your screen time.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: If your screen time is three hours or two hours, guess what?
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: You could have walked for 15 minutes, you could have meditated for 15 minutes and you could have self-reflected for 15.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: That's less than an hour.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Just take one hour away from that screen time.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: But we give so much power and this is the ultimate self-betrayal.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: The ultimate self-betrayal consuming, consuming, consuming and then trusting these gurus or me and you to give you answers.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: You have the answers.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: Stop betraying yourself.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: I have nothing left to say to that.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: It's just coming.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: It's just coming, I mean I don't know.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: because, like sometimes, I feel like oh, you know, we want to baby you.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, don't think that, don't think this.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: Well, you're here to heal.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: You're not here.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: You're not listening to us so we can give you more excuses.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: You're listening to us so we can wake you up and shake something in you.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: And if it's not getting, shaken, then we're not doing our job.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's the thing.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: We give tools, strategies, tips, all the things advice every single week.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: We bring on experts.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: Great, what are you doing with that information?
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Or we read the books or, oh, I read like 500 books.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: What are we doing from the books?
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: It doesn't just magically get into you I bought this program kira all of a sudden with me.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: I enrolled in a program to grow my speech business.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: It's called grow, and I have not done the excel sheet that I needed to do.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: Look, I'm looking at seven hours and ten minutes this freaking week.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm calling myself out right here on the podcast.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: I would call myself out if I could figure it out, but I'm sure it's bad.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: I'm sure it's bad like we forget how much we scroll, and it should look like this no, it doesn't.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: I don't think I have.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: What kind of icon do you have?
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, we'll figure it out, we will figure it.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: We will help kira figure it out.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: But I'm sure you can see your screen time and I give myself my.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: I give my daughter the same example with the screen time, because she's constantly telling me oh, I have to practice and I'm gonna practice, oh, I'm tired and I'm like, okay, let's look at the screen time and the teenager's screen time.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: If mine's, oh, my gosh, I don't even.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can imagine.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: I can imagine I mean you can?
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: I mean?
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: We're talking babies.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: I see.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: I see kiddos right now for speech and they're less than four years old, and do you know how many of them?
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: They don't even know how to play with a puzzle, because all they know how to do is get on the ipad a puzzle, putting animal in the thing, and these don't get me started these are not because of autism.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: These are kids with speech and language.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: And even because of autism, they can do puzzles.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: I can teach them how to do puzzles.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: But if you are used to the screen and I'm not going to say oh, I'm going to apologize about like, oh yes, technology is great, I love the phone, I love the this, but if it's interfering with your goals and interfering with your, with your co-creation of your life and you designing your life, then something's got to change agreed you know, and like I think our most listened to episode is emotions.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: It is, yeah, it's because a lot of us we have all these big emotions and we want to master our emotions and control our emotions, but then yet we don't want to do the work that are causing those emotions okay because it's it's not easy to dig into.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: None of this is easy.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: That's the thing, guys.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: None of what we talk about is easy, and that's partly why we don't script it too.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: It's like we need to let it come through us.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: This is just where we're at on our journeys and yeah, I mean Denise and I leave each other messages all the time.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: A lot of it is painful and uncomfortable and embarrassing and we don't want to dig into it, but we're doing it because we know this is what heals us.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: This is what we're here to do is to heal.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: In my opinion, opinion denise you're on mute thank you.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: For the longest time I would tell myself no, no, no.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do shadow work.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, I don't want to get into this, I don't want to get into that.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, no, no, no.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: So I would do.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: Oh, I would listen to the people who talk about the present moment and loving yourself, but then I realized, like I can't love myself if I'm constantly betraying myself yeah, it's right or if I'm constantly not digging into the root cause of these emotions.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, why am I losing myself right?
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: So, and that's when, and I don't know how, like a few months ago, the late, that before I didn't even know she was, she had passed away, and but I was listening to the oh no, no, I have the app, the Hay House app, to empower you.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: And her one of her workshops showed up and I started listening to her.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: I started listening to her book and then later on, I Googled her and I was like, oh my goodness, she passed away a while back, like in 2012, I think, and but then it was a big sign to do shadow work, and I did tarot reading with somebody and shadow work came up again and shadow work came up again.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: I'm like you know what I?
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: cannot run away from myself anymore.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: I've been trying to run away from myself.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: I've been trying to run away with myself with, with doing all of these modalities and the healing and the this and the reading, the books, but it's, it's something that, yeah, and what once I?
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: And since I started doing that calm and peace and I left a 20 minute voice message yesterday and I'm not telling you I know it's like a phone call and I'm not telling you that, oh my goodness, everything is great.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: No, things are still chaotic around me in some areas.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: However, the peace I have is priceless, priceless.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: Okay, guys, I know we rambled.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: I know we rambled today and sometimes we do.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: And sometimes that's okay.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: We're just encouraging you to look in the mirror, look at the areas you're betraying yourself, and it can be a whole host of things we talked about food, finances, relationships, career, whatever.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: It doesn't matter Telling somebody yes when you really mean no, like your intuition.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Start looking at where you're betraying yourself and make different choices.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: And if you're wondering, like where am I betraying myself?
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: Go for walks, I promise you.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: I promise you, things will come so clear.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: Don't even go so clear, yeah, just like.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Don't even go to a park.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: I don't even go to a park or to a scenery.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: I walk around the neighborhood.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: There are barely trees and flowers.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I just it's the repetitiveness of the walking around the neighborhood, and sometimes it's like 30 minutes.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: I'm like whoa, I walk for 30 minutes, I feel good, but then so much clarity comes in.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: So we're giving you the simplest tip.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: If you are, if, if, if this talk is kind of giving you anxiety, which is great within, that's fine.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: We love to to stir up those emotions, because this is what helped us get into that level, because with you going back to your art and with me, you know, changing some things around and then quitting cannabis, maybe we can talk about that um it just became so clear.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: So so much clarity and but what you know what helped me?
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: The walking?
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: Because I stopped walking for a minute and then I went back to it and just you know.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: So I really recommend if this is just foreign to you, I don't want to journal, I don't want to do this don't Walk.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's my thing.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: It's free right.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: Yep, no money.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: And then what do we mean?
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: Time?
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: I mean you walk, yeah, and if you're at work, take the lunch break and then walk around wherever you work.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: Like if someone's working nine to five or whatever, like they come home they want to make dinner, I get that you don't want to walk.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: I love walking in the afternoon because sometimes in the I mean I do walk, sometimes in the heat, like it doesn't matter.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: But usually I like to walk in the afternoon.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: But if someone you know, if you're listening and you're like I'm working and guess what, take that lunch break, eat your food and then go walk.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: You can find the time, we can all find the time.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: We just choose not to make those excuses.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: Just look at the screen time and then take at least one hour from that for you.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, guys.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: Well, obviously we'll see.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, but you know, if you're new here, welcome.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: We have a ton of episodes at this point.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: You can start at episode one.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: You can start with the top episodes, which I know emotions was the top one, gut, health was the top one.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and stay tuned, we've got something in the works for you guys.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: I know when it's going to get released.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: It's going to even get better and better, since you and I have been doing the true like deep in the work.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: All righty.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: We'll see you on the next episode.