Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 199. 2026.. What we are leaving behind and what we are inviting more in!

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199. 2026.. What we are leaving behind and what we are inviting more in! · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apodche Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment and
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: version of yourself. We help you shed the shame, grow
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: to a new level. We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: about the topics everyone else is too afraid to talk about.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Get ready for your next level of self. Hello everybody,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to she Rises. Happy Monday. I hope you're
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: a week starting off on the right foot. If you're
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: listening to us, it certainly will. So we actually bulk
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: film a month ahead, so this might feel a little
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: bit delayed to you, But today we want to talk
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  Speaker 1: about our words that we have thought of to really
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  Speaker 1: bring our you forward and what we want to focus on,
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  Speaker 1: what we want to feel, and what we want to
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  Speaker 1: bring more into twenty twenty six. Absolutely, but before you
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  Speaker 1: get started, Chair of the Week, there's actually a place
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  Speaker 1: that we've been going to recently.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: It's called Infinity Ivy and Wellness, and it is like
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  Speaker 2: the biohacking central of the coast and every time I
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  Speaker 2: actually and I go in there with feel like little
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: kids in a candy store because they have all of
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: these incredible is it machinery slash technology.
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  Speaker 1: That they use.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, Hells rejuvenation healing, all of these beautiful and incredible
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: things and is just like our favorite place to go.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Like we've been getting ivy drips, we've been getting full
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: body red light therabo. Oh that's my favorite. Oh we
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: even did hyperbaric chamber that was interesting.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Can't remember the name of the other one that used,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: but oh it's like that sort of machine where your
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  Speaker 1: hippokes out, yes, and it like detoxifies your body and
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: like draws the toxins out of your skin. So yeah,
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  Speaker 1: highly recommend if you're a health person or a health girlie.
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  Speaker 1: This is definitely a place that you love so good. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: it's like I did in Corumbin. Yes, we've been twice
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  Speaker 1: now and definitely we'll be back. Yes. Mine's a TV show.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: It's not Tianna's copp of Tea. It's called Girl Taken.
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  Speaker 1: I think it's on Netflix, and it's about these two
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  Speaker 1: twin girls and one of them gets kidnapped by her
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  Speaker 1: English teacher and he holds her for five years, which
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  Speaker 1: she escapes. It's wild, so I won't give too much away,
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: you know, I probably just to give a little bit
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  Speaker 1: away then, but it's very very interesting. And I was
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  Speaker 1: actually reflecting on like why I like these kind of
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: TV shows as I was talking to I'm like, oh,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: this is really fucked up. I was talking to my
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  Speaker 1: mom about it as well. But I really like to learn.
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  Speaker 1: I like to understand the human psychology around it. Not
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  Speaker 1: that you can really understand why the fuck they do
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  Speaker 1: what they do. Yeah, fucking psychos. But just like even
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: to teach Tarlotte, like from this one, I'm like, oh
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: my gosh, Like I never would have thought to sit
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: her down and say, don't ever ever allow yourself to
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  Speaker 1: be in the room with any teachers, like saw it
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  Speaker 1: any teachers out there, But like after watching this, I'm like,
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  Speaker 1: oh my goodness. And then my mom told me when
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  Speaker 1: she was younger. Oh, she was nine years old, so
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  Speaker 1: tajas I was in grade four. Her teacher, he was
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  Speaker 1: a male, he was like twenty one years old, asked
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  Speaker 1: her to go to his house on the weekend to
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  Speaker 1: see his puppies. Wow, to see his fucking puppies. She
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: was nine years old. Wow, that's absolutely Oh my gosh,
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  Speaker 1: that was like, that's just disgusting. Yeah, And I remember
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  Speaker 1: in high school, I had this business teacher who was
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I reflect back on now, I'm like, he was so
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  Speaker 1: touchy with me, very complimentary, always wanted to stay back
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  Speaker 1: and help me. And I enjoyed like the attention. I
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: enjoyed the poor.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: Support, having someone that you could lean on who was
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: like somebody above you, you know, like I.
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  Speaker 1: Didn't have a nice, healthy, safe man at home. So
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: he was like I just thought he was amazing, and
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  Speaker 1: I obviously had the story that I was really dumb,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: and he just gasped me out telling me how smart
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  Speaker 1: I was at this particular subject. It looked like now,
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, he was actually creepy. I remember him
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  Speaker 1: coming behind me sometimes, like leaning over my books to
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  Speaker 1: like you know when they put your head like yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: oh I just look back and I just yeah, from
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: this TV show, now, okay, I'm gonna have that conversation
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: with Tuller. I can never be alone in a room
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  Speaker 1: with a male teacher, so I learn every time I
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  Speaker 1: watch one of these shows, I learned something. I think
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  Speaker 1: That's why I like it.
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  Speaker 2: Something that you said as well as You're like, I
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  Speaker 2: just want to know what to do exactly right, you know.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you never know what.
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  Speaker 2: You're going to learn when you watch these things, with
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  Speaker 2: like different ways that you can support yourself if you
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  Speaker 2: ever get yourself into a bad situation.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think if there was like this is
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  Speaker 1: my intruth of thought coming in, But if Tiana and
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  Speaker 1: I would get kidnapped together, I think I would go
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  Speaker 1: into fight response. Yeah, but if I was by myself,
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  Speaker 1: I think I would freeze. I don't actually know, but
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  Speaker 1: I think if I was to protect a friend, I
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  Speaker 1: think like this, Oh you know, like Angele would come
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  Speaker 1: out of protecting like a fire. Yeah, like a real fire,
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  Speaker 1: and you strategically work out what you're gonna do and
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: be almost easier having someone there. If we were together,
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  Speaker 1: we would be fine. Yeah, you know. I watched another one.
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  Speaker 1: Actually I forget what it's called, but it was similar
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  Speaker 1: to these girls that got kidnapped in Europe, and because
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  Speaker 1: there was so many of them, they put them in
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  Speaker 1: this like cage downstairs. But the way they all got
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  Speaker 1: out was they all worked as a team and they
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  Speaker 1: got out. Do you know what that one's called? No,
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  Speaker 1: I'm forgetting damn it. Who'll have to tell me later?
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  Speaker 1: I will have to tell you later. Yeah, I think
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  Speaker 1: you would like that one. It wasn't as like the
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  Speaker 1: sexual things you didn't.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't watch that stuff like actually not use
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: and all that sort stuff.
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  Speaker 1: It makes me squam. It's not nice to watch. But
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: once again, learnt so much. But I want to teach
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  Speaker 1: Challa before. Anyways, let's bring it on. Let's bring it on.
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  Speaker 1: So what are your three words for twenty twenty six?
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  Speaker 2: Then you're bringing in Okay, So just to keep the
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: little context as well around the three words. Something that
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: has been so helpful for both of us and something
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  Speaker 2: that will be helpful for you too. To implement this
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  Speaker 2: is instead of having this long list of things that
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  Speaker 2: you want to tick off and getting really overwhelmed and going, oh,
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  Speaker 2: who was it that I wanted to be this year,
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  Speaker 2: having three words that you can kind of live by,
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  Speaker 2: just for me personally change the game for me. Yes,
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  Speaker 2: like having those words as something to refer back to
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  Speaker 2: in a moment when I felt triggered, In a moment
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  Speaker 2: when I felt tired, lazy, unmotivated, undisciplined, or like anything
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  Speaker 2: was coming up for me, I was like, who did
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  Speaker 2: I say I wanted to be? It's the beginning of
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  Speaker 2: the year, and so for me what my words are.
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  Speaker 2: My first one is enrich, So enrich in terms of
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  Speaker 2: like just wanting my life to feel enriching, whether that
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  Speaker 2: be experiences, I have relationships, I have friendships, the way
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  Speaker 2: that I pour into the people that I love, I
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  Speaker 2: kind of want the people that I love to to
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  Speaker 2: have that feeling of like enrichment when they're around me too,
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  Speaker 2: you know, so like everything that we're doing together is
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  Speaker 2: like creating more good than it is anything else.
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  Speaker 1: I love that word, and it was cool because before
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  Speaker 1: you thought of that word, I'd noticed it started to
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  Speaker 1: come into Tiana's vocabulary. Yeah, like she was starting to
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  Speaker 1: use it, and I was like, Oh, that's so aligned
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  Speaker 1: with like how you're feeling. It's so good. I just
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  Speaker 1: saw it one day. I saw it on like Pinterest
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  Speaker 1: or something, and I was like, oh, wow, that's a
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  Speaker 1: really cool word.
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  Speaker 2: And I started to reflect on it. I was like, Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: that's gonna be one of my words.
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  Speaker 1: I love it.
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  Speaker 2: That's my first one. My next one is amplify. So
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  Speaker 2: this for me like relates to so many different areas
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  Speaker 2: of my life. It amplify in terms of everything that
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  Speaker 2: I'm already doing. It's almost like stacking and compounding on
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  Speaker 2: top of all the things that I've already been doing
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  Speaker 2: in the last year and the year before that, and
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  Speaker 2: now going, okay, cool, let's amplify everything that I'm already doing.
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  Speaker 2: So cool workwise, what we're creating here at she rises
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  Speaker 2: what I'm doing in my own personal life, like amplifying relationships, love, play, enjoyment, enrichment,
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  Speaker 2: even that adlies to that, you know, So just like
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  Speaker 2: amplifying everything to be big erup, bold, up better than
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  Speaker 2: what I've ever experienced before. So freaking cool. Yeah, absolutely
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  Speaker 2: love that one. Then the last one is overflow. I
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  Speaker 2: really wanted something to encapsulate a mindset that I wanted
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  Speaker 2: to be in, also a representation of like my ability
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  Speaker 2: to receive money and to receive things, you know, And
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  Speaker 2: I was like, how do I want to feel when
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  Speaker 2: that represents my life? And it felt like overflow, you know,
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  Speaker 2: because I feel like previously I've always just like I've always.
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  Speaker 1: Just like had enough. I've always just had that iven
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  Speaker 1: you're grateful to have what You're grateful to have what
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  Speaker 1: I've got.
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  Speaker 2: And now I'm like, okay, I want to be in
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  Speaker 2: this season of overflow, overflow of impact, overflow of how
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  Speaker 2: much I can give to the people that I love,
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  Speaker 2: overflow and how much I can give to myself, overflow
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  Speaker 2: in how much I'm able to receive and then also
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  Speaker 2: pour back out. It's almost like this constant, revolving thing
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  Speaker 2: that pours into itself, which is I pour into myself.
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  Speaker 2: I can then pour into everyone else and I receive
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  Speaker 2: as a result of that.
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  Speaker 1: That's cool. Yeah, that's my three words for the year,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm really excited about it. Very very cool. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Something else that I've done as well is, like I
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  Speaker 2: showed you this the other day. I wrote in my
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  Speaker 2: note section Tiana's words, and then it was like twenty
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  Speaker 2: twenty five words, and then I wrote my three words down,
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: and then it was like twenty twenty six words. And
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: I wrote my three words down just to kind of
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  Speaker 2: show me where my head space was at and what
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  Speaker 2: it was that I've been valuing each year, and.
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  Speaker 1: I really want to track it. Yeah. Such a good idea.
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  Speaker 1: We love it all, love a good notes. Actually, do
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  Speaker 1: I have four thousand? I have four thousand? Where do
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: you see the number? I need to check mine on
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: my trip to Bali. I definitely have to clean them out.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I never used to use notes that much until I
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: met Now. It's like we have notes for everything. We
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: have everything pin notes, we have like so much to do,
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  Speaker 1: lists for different topics, different parts of our business. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: it keeps us so on track.
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  Speaker 2: So no, because we track our content, our retreats, our
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: Zola jacks, our podcasts.
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  Speaker 1: Episode everything in there. So cool. Tell me what your words.
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  Speaker 1: So my first word was curiosity. I just want to
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  Speaker 1: be curious on everything, ask more questions, dig a little
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  Speaker 1: bit deeper, peel back more layers, just get more curious
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  Speaker 1: on everyone, everything and myself. There's just always so much
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  Speaker 1: to learn. I don't think you ever get to a
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  Speaker 1: point in your life, no matter how much of an
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: expert you want to claim to be, even in your field,
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  Speaker 1: you should always be more curious. There's always more to learn,
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: never stop learning. And I also that kind of ties
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: into my story of like I'm dumb because sometimes I
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  Speaker 1: limit myself. I'm getting curious because I'm like, oh, I'm
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: not going to understand it anyway, so I won't even bother.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: So I'm really trying to lean into that, and I
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: love that. And then my next one is alive if
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  Speaker 1: it doesn't make me feel alive, it's just not it.
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  Speaker 1: And I felt this sense of aliveness which I was
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: spoken about before last year was just like really leaning
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: into my sexuality, my sensuality and my playfulness and my pleasure.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: And it was just like this we spoke about it
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: works so much like we just felt so alive, like
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: being in that energy. It's just it's a life force
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: being in Your feminine's a life force being and your
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: sexual energy is a life force and I just want
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: more of that aliveness. Even I've started dancing again this year,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: but not heels dancing, which I love that as well,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: but gone back to doing like a lyrical contemporary class.
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  Speaker 1: And it makes me feel so alive when I'm just
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: so present, I'm in the moment in my body and
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: I'm expressing with movement. It makes me feel so alive.
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  Speaker 1: It's really cool. And even just like experiences with the kids,
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: just different things are doing with them, just things that
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: make them feel alive and the really lit up. It
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: makes me feel really lit up. Yeah. And then my
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: other one is it's a word I hadn't heard of before,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: and I think I saw it on Pinterest as well
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: when I was doing my vision board. Yeah, it's called unbound, unbound, Unbound.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: It basically means like really free of restriction. You're letting
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: go of any title, any limitation, belief, anything that kind
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: of restricts you from just being your full self. Yeah.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: And when I read that, I was like, oh my gosh,
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: that's so me. Yeah, you just you're not living by
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: fear or living in old patterns. You're just like this wild,
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: free animal. Yeah, and freedom is one of my top
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: values as well, so I really want to lean into
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: that more. It feels like you like unclipping your wings
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: and like actually letting your wings. Yeah, all the way.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Because I've always valued freedom, but then I've had moments
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: where I felt guilt for it or thought, oh, because
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I'm married, maybe I shouldn't be able to do all
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: the things I want to do. Or the noise of
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: social media, as much as I don't listen to, I
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: hear it, and then it sometimes makes you doubt what
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: you're doing. And I'm like, actually, no, I want to
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: be full freedom and unbound to just live my life
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: on my own terms, regardless what anyone thinks or what
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: anyone says on my past or what I thought yesterday
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: my opinion was this time last year on the podcast. Yeah,
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: I'm free to change and free to live. I'm free
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: to just do what I want to do, free to
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: be unbound.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I like cool words. It is a very
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: cool word. It's a very cool representation. I feel like
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: of all the change that you had over the last year. Yeah,
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: you know, really like pulling down those restrictions, you know,
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: unchaining yourself from, like all the things, the beliefs, the
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: ways of being and like things that you thought that
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: you needed to be but actually aren't.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Isn't you. I share all of that, So I sheard
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: so much last year speaker. It's very very cool. So
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: then we thought we would also talk about our ins
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: and outs, Yes, which is fun. Yeah, do you want
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: to go first? Absolutely? Okay, So I'll go over my
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: inns first. Just more joy through daily tasks, like whether
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: it's cleaning out the kitchen, I want to put music
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: on and make fun with the kids if it's dinner
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: time and the kids being annoying, Like just have fun
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: with Steve and just like be in the moment with
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: him rather getting frustrated, like how playful, jokes with him
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: about how hard parenting is and just be in it
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: together rather than like I feel like a parent, like
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: a dad or a mum's energy can really set the
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: tone for the whole house. So we're playful and having fun,
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: then it's only going to leak onto our kids. Whereas
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: if we get frustrated and they're already feeling frustrated, the
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: whole house feels frustrated. So he's trying to bring more
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: joy into our day to day mundane tasks because it's
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: so fun to have fun when you're on holiday, we're
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: going for a stay ca or you're doing something cool
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: with your friends, you're going on date night, But most
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: of your life is taking care of kids, is going
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: to work, is like keeping the house tidy, is doing
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: the washing, is doing like the stuff that you have
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: to get done. So just bringing more joy into all
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: of that love that more flirting with my husband being
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: together eighteen years is June, so it's just something I'm
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: definitely more conscious of. Last year we really lent into that.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: But once again, the day to day flirting like more frequently. Yeah, yeah,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: the micro moment.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: That's safeful energy like safe flow is a lot of weight,
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: isn't it.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Especially for a masculine man. They're so drawn to that
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: and effeminine, and it just reminds me I still have
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: a little work to do around slowing down and softening
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: and trusting and just like being in my feminine flow,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: which is a hard balance with being such a worker.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of unlearning or a lot of like
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: just learning how to balance and embrace both energies, not
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: good or bad, but they're suitable for different times and
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: different parts of your life.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: Knowing when to put on a hat of like this
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: is my masculine energy is this is where I'm like
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: taking the hat off. But also as well, like what
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: you said, it would be a balance because you're a
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: parent and you're a business owner, and then you've got
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: to learn how to dance in between all those things.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of women either go too far
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: one way or too far the other way. It's so
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: far over here where they're just so feminine, flowy, but
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: then they're not making any progress or having any growth.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: And there's the other way where it's like Ohm, a
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: complete boss babe, and I'm getting shit done and you're
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: rushing all the time, and then you end up burnt
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: out and resentful and not allowing your man to take lead.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: It's like this beautiful in between balance that I think
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: I'm still just figuring it out to dance. It's a dance.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Definitely a routine structure I've always worn more of. But
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: then also I'm wanting this year more flexibility around my cycle.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: So I'm super aware last year of like learning where
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: my cycle was, and I was fixing my hormones with
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: a natch path. And it's funny because the more you
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: work on your health and your information, the less symptoms
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: you have, so the easier period feels anyway. But just
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: allowing those times where I do feel more tired or
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: more irritated, or if I can feel my threshold with
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: the kids, isn't there like just communicating that with more steven,
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: being flexible and softer on myself through that, not just
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: pushing through all the time. And I like that my
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: bloods every three months, I'm bringing that in. Yeah, not
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: once a year, not once every couple of years. I'm
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: going to do it every three months to track what
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: I'm doing is actually working. I like that because even
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: the last time I did it did it twice last
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: year and I were three months in between and what
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: I needed the first time compared to when I need
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: the second time. I completely switched. Yeah, So like I
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: kind of quote unquote fixed what needed help with. And
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: then there was a couple of other things that popped
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: up that I needed different supplements for, Like, Okay, get
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: up those ones. Now we're going to do these ones.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: So just getting them regularly check because I think people
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: just take supplements for the sake of taking supplements. What
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: he might not actually need them in the box. Yeah,
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: you might be overdose and you think you're doing the
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: right thing by giving your body all of that, but
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: you don't know what you don't know? Yeh, was it zinc?
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Before that you would wake too much zinc. Zinc levels
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: are really high, super high, which affect your copper. And
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: then I took zinc and that balance back out again.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: But then my body wasn't absorbing iron, so I was
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: taking iron, but I had to take I think it
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: was a digestive enzyme in something else to help the
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: stomach acid actually be able to absorb the iron. So
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: being on that now my next test, I can't wait
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: to see if that's helped. Yeah, it's quite complexd it
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: make no it makes sense you actually just track it
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: because then as well, you're kind of just like you're
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: just shooting in the dark kind of thing. You're just
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: kind of winging it.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Then it's also like, are you actually doing things that
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: are supportive of your body and what is?
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, another infamy is allowing more time to actually feel things.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: One feel before I react, and two just feel in general.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: I still feel that when things are very uncomfortable, I
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: still want to distract and park it to the side
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: because i don't want to be consumed by it and
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: I've got stuff to do and I've got a parent,
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: and particularly around grief. Yeah, like I really just don't
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: allow myself to stop and feel, particularly with Rambo. I
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: just honestly, if I'm being truth, I just find it
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: really fucking hard and then I find a kind of
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: drown in it for days or for weeks on end,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: and I feel like I can't show up and get
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: what I need to get done. But I need to
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: find room for grief to be in my life and
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: still be able to live my life. I don't know,
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: it's hard to explain. Yeah, I think unless she's like
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: everyone's experienced grief, but everyone copes in different ways. Some
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: people drink, somebody turn to drugs. Some people just distract,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: some people pretend it's not there. Other people's drowning it.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Like it's it's different for everyone, and I don't think
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: there is a right way to do it.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: No, That's the thing with grief that there's yeah on
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: like how to process through it. They can go different
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: levels of grief and different stages of grief, but how
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: you show up in it is so unique to you.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: It is figuring out what works for you and just.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: Really allowing whatever you're feeling to actually like arise and
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: be there. Like I realized, I get a lot of
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: survivors guilt that it's just so uncomfortable with me that
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: I just like distract. Yeah, since I feel that, I'm like, oh,
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: go clean the house, what do you do it? Like
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get on my phone and do something
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: and work. Yeah, I can't like sit with it. So
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: I'm bringing more of that in this year because I
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: think it'll help me rather than just let it build up. Yeah,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: because it does. It builds up. Then you feel anxious.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: And then my last one I've got is deepening my
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: connection with the dark feminine, like sensual energy even more.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: We love that, Yeah, because I think there's like dark
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: and light to everything, but some of it's dark doesn't
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: mean negative. I think dark feminine and sexual energy is
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: just the things that you think are shameful, whether it's kinks,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: whether it's desires, whether it's fantasies, whether it's just having
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: the conversations. I just want to like lean into that more,
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: and not only for myself, but when I raised Tala
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: and Taj, but my friends as well and our community.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: I just want everyone to be able to be fully
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: in touch with all their desires and all what lights
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: them up and all of what makes them feel good,
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: so that it doesn't have to feel shameful, feel heavy
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: to talk about blood alone experience with your partner. Yeah,
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: so I want to lean more into that. I feel
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: like I've come a long way with it, but the
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: same with curiosity is always more to learn.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: So I think it's a fun place to explore the
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: way how you explained it. It's the things that you
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: think you may be shameful of, you think other people
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: are going to go, oh, that's fucking weird. Dark seems
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: the word dark feels negative, but it's high because it's dark,
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: a shameful or.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: No, it's actually no, it's like integrated.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: It's like such a beautiful part of like the feminine experience.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: So yeah, sexual energy and feminine energy. It just can
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: be perceived as bad or wrong because people associate dark
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: feminine with like manipulation or control.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Or things like that, when in actual fact it's not.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: It's like integrated power, and it's like boundaries and like
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: fire and sexual embodiment.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: Like it's really like beautiful, fierce energy. Yeah, and it
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: also comes back to being unbound, like it's just fully free, yes,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: like regardless of what she desires. Yeah, I mean years ago,
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: I'll be fully honest, if someone was to come to
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: me and say that their kink was I don't know,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: being whacked or tied up, I'm like, Oh, that's fucking weird.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Whereas now I'm like, oh my gosh, tell me more,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Like what do you like about being curried up? What's
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: that sensation you get in your body? Or what that
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: do you feel? Yeah? Is it like the feeling of
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: not being in control? Like I want to know more.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I want to understand it, because if I was to say, oh,
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: that's so weird, it's like I haven't even tried it.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: I gotta say that's weird or wouldn't like it if
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: I haven't actually tried that.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, does it feel like you don't feel judgmental towards no,
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: those things because you've been able to come into your
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: own more.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't judge yourself anymore. It's exactly right. If
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: you're judging other people, it's just a mirror that you're
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: judging yourself. And that was me sexually. I would judge
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: every woman for wearing clothes, for dancing, for doing whatever,
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: being a certain way it was. Now I don't have
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: that on myself. I'm just like, oh my gosh, showing
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: me more, tell me more. I want to know more. Yeah,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: I'm so curious on what everyone's desires and kinks are,
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: where they came from, Like do you fully explore them?
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: How does that look like? Yeah, I'm saying for your partner,
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: like I love it. It's so fun. Yeah, and it
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: gets to be fun. I think the more that we
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: talk about it on things like the podcast, I don't
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: see a lot of people talk about this. I hope
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: it just becomes more normalized and even matter retreats and
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: stuff like I just I cannot wait to have those
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: safe spaces where women can just talk about this with
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: me and you and it's like, yeah, cool, tell us more. Yeah,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: it's not like you judgment yeah, like why do you
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: like that? And then there's the ripple effect if we
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: do that, and then our community girls do that, whether
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: that's online or at our Barley retreat or whatever, and
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: then they go do it with their friends and it's
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: just this like ripple effect that it becomes more normal.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: And then overall everyone's going to feel so much less
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: shame and what they like or they want, who they
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: are and what is actually true for them, so that,
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: like what you said, when they can go do it
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: with their partner, they feel safe to explore it. Even
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: when they're exploring with themselves, they feel like they don't
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: need to judge themselves or shame themselves or even shut
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: themselves down for being like, oh wow, you know what,
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: actually like this?
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: So I want to explore this. So I want to
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: be a curious human explore myself. It's so fun being
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: curious because you actually get to make everything fun.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: And that plays Detroit's curiosity and also feel freedom in
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: curiosity is such a beautiful place to be.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: It's so fun. Yeah, so I just want to bring
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: more of that in my outs. It's pretty obvious ones
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: with doom scrolling. We recently put a couple of months
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: ago actually the time limit on our phones. So yeah,
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: it alarms us when we've been on our phone for
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: longer than two hours. And look, there's some days where
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: I ignore it. Some days I say, remind me of
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: fifteen minutes if I've still got work to do, like editing,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: because we work from our phone. So it is hard
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: but fully guilty of having doom scrolling. And once I've
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: done it half an hour an hour, I'm like, I
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: don't even fucking remember what I've watched. That was such
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: a waste of time. You're not even like consciously aware
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: of what you're con doing. No, So less of that
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: and more reading. So that's more of an into the
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: need to fix always within me, of like wanting to
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: fix problems, fix people's pain. I think you can fix pain,
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: but like take it away and just like the rescue
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: our archetype in me just wants to fix everything. Or
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: someone's upset, or they're struggling with money, or they're struggling
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: with this and that like, let me fix it. You
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: want to relieve them? Yeah, I don't want you being
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: in pain. I can fix that beautiful thing. But it's
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: also not productive, especially with my kids too, Like they
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: need to learn the struggle. They need to learn that
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: this consequence. Link need to learn that they have to
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: work hard to figure some things out. So yeah, it's
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: got to start with me. Obviously. Before I teach that
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: to my kids, I've got to really embody that. So
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: that's one of my outs. It's a good one, rushing
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: through discomfort, which kind of goes back to bringing more
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: in of feeling. You know, what's out its being mysterious
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: and wearing a mask. I don't think I wear a mask,
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: but I think last year there was a trend of
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: like the mysterious girl. Yeah. I always was a bit
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: envious that I wasn't mysterious. I'm like, that's so cool. Yeah,
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: like everyone knows anything about her, and she's just like
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: a mysterious like black cat that everyone wants to know
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: things about. And now I'm like, no, that's not cool anymore. Like,
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: actually tell me about your childhood trauma. Yeah, I want
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: to know who you are. Take that mask off, let's
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: show me what you're actually feeling. Don't tell me about
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: the weather. I don't want to know what brain your
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: shoes are, you know, like, actually let me see you. Yeah,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: because that's how we're going to have a real beautiful connection.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: I think there was almost like a praise season of
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: the black hat and that mysterious kind of woman. Yeah,
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: like when you're around that, even as a friend or
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: even with partners, like, it doesn't feel safe. No, it
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: does not feel And I think like everyone is becoming
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: more and more aware of like how much emotional safety
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: is so important in dynamics, and when you don't have that,
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: it feels so empty. It feels empty, feel scary, you
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: feel disconnected, doesn't feel safe, you don't feel like you
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: can open up.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: There's an invisible wall there. Yeah. So that's out for me,
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: A good one. Made up stories in my head about
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: not feeling like I'm enough for my loved ones. This
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: is so reoccurring, so like I feel like I've said
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: this every single year, but it's just something that I'm
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: still working on constantly. Like have the thoughts that like
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not deserving of my friendships or my relationships, or
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: that I'm just not good enough for and it goes
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: back to like an abandoned wound. I think they're just
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: gonna leave. Like sometimes look at you, I'm like, why
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: does she like me? Oh? Why does she want to
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: hang out with me? Can relate? You know in those
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: days where you feel a bit more like sensitive or
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: like irritating yourself, Yeah, you're like, why the fuck does
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: she want to I don't eve want to hang out
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: with myself right now? Oh?
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: They you know you have you have like anxious moments
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: or you're feeling a bit wobbly in one area of
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: life and that leaks into other areas.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, just stop that, like, stop making up
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: stories that people don't like you. Yeah. So I just
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: want to put it on there so that I'm aware
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: of it so when it comes up to just like
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: not squish it, but just like let us sit there
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: and just like breathe through it so it can dissolve,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: because otherwise it just gets bigger. Yeah, this is a
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: momlife on but trying to break up or control every
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: single fight that my kids have. I'm definitely struggling with
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: this at the moment. And I look at Steve and
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: he's cool as a fucking cucumber. Nothing bothers that. Man,
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: He's just sitting back and I'm like, are you not triggered?
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: If that's not over stimulating fear or like when they
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: say something nasty, I'm like, does that not break your heart?
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: And he looks at me, he's like, Babe, they're kids.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to take it personally. Their brains are
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: not developed enough. They don't know how to regulate. We
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: know how hard that's. As an adult, they're gonna have arguments,
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: they're going to disagree, Like what can you do? You've
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: got to let them just like go through their emotions
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: and trying to like shut it down. And he's so right,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: but I find it really difficult, Like I want to
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: stop the fights because for me, it's too much for me.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: I grew up with like yelling and noise, so when
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: it gets too noise and overstimulate, it's all about me,
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: Like it's too much for me. So if I stop
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: the argument, then I feel in control, I feel calm,
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: whereas I actually need to get better at I can
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: still navigate and help them, but also like let them
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: learn how to do it together. Yeah, as siblings, it's
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: a lot to navigate, but I realize how much I'm
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: trying to control that right now, and it's not serving me.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: It's actually making it worse. I think, Yeah, and just
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: leaning on Steve more for that because he letting lead
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: the torch in that area. He's very good at that.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Like he's just so regulated and calm. That's what I've
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: always loved about him taking things so personally, that's got
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: to go. Take a look. First week. I had this
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: conversation this morning.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Literally, sometimes even when I'm at public and I see
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: someone like look at me for a long period of time,
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, they fucking hate me. Yes, you have
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: said that before. Actually instantly I jumped straight to like
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: they hate me. And then I'll get a message of
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: DM and be like, oh my gosh, I saw you pack.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Pharaoh's too shy to come up and say hello, but
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: you look beautiful. You looked happier or like I wanted
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: to say hello and I was too shy. I'm like,
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I just assumed they hated me.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: You know, the worst case scenarios stop that, Yeah, that's out,
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: it's going out, it's going out.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: And then two funny ones. I'm sorry, but scrunches, got
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: to go. Don't like them. They're ugly. They're better for
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: your hair, But every time I'm scrunchy and I'm like,
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: absolutely not take that out. Ye see, I feel like
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: you see more of a like a clean girl aesthetic.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: I do like girl slick, small out of my face
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: you can't see, yes, And then I've never been into them,
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: but I'm sorry, crocs get the fuck out. I agree.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: They are so ugly. I hate them. Why are they
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: ever think? Maybe I'm little kids? Okay, kind of cute, comfy, yeah,
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: maybe safe, I don't know. Adults. No, put some havanas on,
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: like even just put some plain sandals on, some thongs.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: If Steve wore crocs, I think I would dry up
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: like the Sahara desert. Honestly, actually funny, I couldn't. It's
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: an Yeah, that's fair. I'm sorry it sounds really judgy,
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: but just know that that's cool. You like what you're like,
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: you don't like to don't like I do it? Cool?
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: All right? That's I love all. I love the ins
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: and out. It's so much variety in there.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: But also concede that it's like such a cool year
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: for growth for you and like.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Still so much growth to do.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: Hey, crazy, you know, fine tuning areas of your life
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: that you're like, oh, I know that this is not
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: a problem but something a problem area that I would
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: like to work on.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: And I think that's really cool. It's like this new season. Yeah,
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: it is really cool. Fine tuning. That's a really nice
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: one in whatever we like it. Yeah, okay, let's go
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: show it. Yeah.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: My inn sisia, trusting myself and my ability slash capabilities more.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: I think for a really long time, I really I
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: really had this belief that I couldn't do things about
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: my dad. Yeah, you know, because my dad has always
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: kind of been and I'm very fortunate to be able
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: to say this, but he's always kind of been there
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: for me and been like a savior of some sorts,
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: you know, but to the point where I really learnt
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: on human times where I really needed to learn my
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: own lessons. And I always felt like every time I
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: got really really hard, this was when I was younger,
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: when things got really hard with lean on my dad
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: instead of myself.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: And so this last like four and a half years,
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: five years has really been about me learning how to
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: trust in myself more and learn how to really like
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: anchor into my own self leadership loved, And so with
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: that self leadership comes not relying on other people to
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: solve my problems and learning how to be my own
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: savior in that sense beautiful. And I think just with
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: that is like I feel like I really want to
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: and I feel this feels really true for me at
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: the moment, just anchoring into trust for myself. Like I
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: feel like I'm at a point where I'm like, I
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: can trust in myself, I can trust in my abilities,
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: my capabilities, what I want to do, the ideas that
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: I have, decision the way that i want to execute
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: those things. Like I feel like I'm listening more and
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: more to my intuition, and I feel like the more
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: the stronger I've gotten on that, the better I lead myself.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: So cool. You know.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: Also in is optimal health skin and peptides. Yeah, So
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: I've really always wanted to be somebody who really got
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: their health to like an optimal level, Like I've always
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: wanted to be like, oh my god, as soon as
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: I can afford it, I'm going to have a health
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: budget and it's going to be the first thing that
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: I think about and do and I'm I'm really seeing
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: like these signals in my body over the last few
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: years that I've kind of like ignored and haven't really
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: taken seriously, and I've just kind of been like, I'm
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: putting my foot down. This is where I take myself seriously,
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: and where I take my health seriously too. Of like
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: not you know, going back and forth with consuming gluten
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: because I sometimes I can slip and I know that
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: my body can't digest it properly and it comes out
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: of my skin and I get faced with the problem
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: every time, and I'm just like, no, we're not doing
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: that anymore to myself, you know, listening to my body,
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: so optimal health, optimal skin. But overall that is like
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: what I put in my body, how I treat my body,
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: you know, how I honor the things that I say
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: that I want to honor, like sleep and water and
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: making sure that I actually hit my protein so that
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: like I don't lose any you know, muscle density or
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: bone density or like things like actually thinking for the
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: longevity of things I love.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: Also, in is more scheduled off time to distinctively separate
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: work time, so just really yeah, it is a bit
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: of a tricky one. But I just even if it's
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: like one day of the week where I have four
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: hours or a specific time in my calendar, that's like
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: you are off. Even if it's a Sunday, I can
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: still post, I can still put stories up, I can
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: steal all the things. But within this four to six hours,
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: I am doing absolutely nothing for work, and I'm going
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: and being out in nature. I'm going painting, I'm going
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: and doing an exercise and going golfing or like you know,
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: top golf, whatever, just doing something that gets me out.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: Of my head and into my body.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: Because I truly believe that, like your off time is
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: so important. And I find like when I create a
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: lot of time for like what I call like thing time,
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: I find that I'm so connected to myself. I have
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: all these ideas come through. I feel like I get
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: these quote unquote like downloads that come through and I'm like,
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I all of the questions that I
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: needed answers too, I now have the answers to because
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: I've created enough space for them to come through.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: So just creating more of that off time, I love
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: that so good.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: Now more intentional present slash community time, so I really loved,
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: like over the Christmas break, like us doing Christmas together
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: and a couple of things that I did with my
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: sister and things like that, And I just I really
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: enjoy the community aspect and I've always wanted that.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: I've always craved it.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: I've always you know, we joke about like getting a
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: compound together and like looked into it, like getting a
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: compound and getting everyone to live together so that we
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: can all build our own community.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: And to me, that is like the ultimate dream. Really
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: love to do that.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: And so for me, I would love to create more
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: intentionality around scheduling in every couple of weeks where there's
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: something locked in where we're playing card games, we're grosting dinner,
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: you know, we're coming over to each other's houses and
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: everyone's coming together and like supporting each other. That for me,
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: would like, I think, be so fulfilling. For me, It's
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: so beautiful. I love that one. Yeah, that's an inn
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: for sure.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: Movement stepper dance like just movement in Jess. So for me,
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: I'm like kind of loving the stepper at the moment.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: Really want to get back into dancing like plot is walking.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: For me, I find like movement and just even if
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: it's just walking, is a game changer for me. I
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: get out of my head, I'm in my body. I'm
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: get to be present. I find it's the time where
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: I'm the most like taking in everything. I'm like appreciating
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: the earth and like the sunset or the sunrise. I
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: get my feet in the sand and I feel like
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: it really anchors me and it makes me feel really grounded.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: So I guess overall, I would love to implement more
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: movement and just stay really consistent with that so I
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: can be more present.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Staycase and travel always. Well, I mean that kind of
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: represents what we already have coming up this year and
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: five more of Yeah, it's almost like amplifying. I think.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: I just like, I really enjoy our staycase and also travel.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: We've got a few trips coming up this year, so
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: I'm really looking forward to the lessons and the experiences
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: that I'm going to have on those trips that I
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: know will change me as a woman.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I think I'm really excited for that.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: The evening quality relationships, so just taking like you know, amplifying,
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: amplifying all of my relationships to that next level and
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: solidifying even stronger bonds than what I think is possible. Yeah,
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: scaling and continuous growth. So that's both in business and
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: also personal growth.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: Beautiful. So yeah, that's about all. That's my inns in outs.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: I love all those my outs are feeling small and
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: inferior or not capable enough. So it kind of ties
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: into like really trusting myself more and not allowing myself
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: to get in my own head about any doubts that
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: I have about myself, any fears, fears of feeling not capable,
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: fears of feeling small, inferior, or anything like that. Just
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: like not allowing the little thoughts that I have to
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: kind of like take up space in my mind.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just like.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: Seeing them with really neutral energy and just going, you know,
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to let you go, like actually it's
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: okay that you're here.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to let you go. Not serving me,
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: you know. It's like that's so outdated.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: It's an outdated way I think of feeling about myself
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: and it's not something I want to carry into twenty
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: twenty six. Yeah, outs second guessing my intuition. I feel
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: like this has been a big year of really trusting
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: myself and every single time that I don't, I get
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: reminded why I should. So that's a big one for me,
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: not listening to other people's opinions and perspectives over my own.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: So not that I won't take into consideration the people
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: that I respect and love their opinions, it's just more
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: about making sure and triple checking that it aligns with me,
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: as well as taking on people's feedback.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you give one with a grain of salt because
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: it's your life you're feeling. But I also really value
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: the people around me.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm like, I love and appreciate their perspective,
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: but I'm also will always be checking with myself first
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: of like, Okay, how does this.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: Feel for me? Yeah, it should be no negotiable for sure.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: Not letting people in who aren't good for my heart, yeah, friends,
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: new acquaintances, relationships, whoever. Not letting people who aren't good
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: for my heart, yeah. Not connecting with others who are
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: fully in their eger and unwilling to be vulnerable connect.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: This kind of ties into what you were saying about,
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: like the mysterious part. Yes, yeah, just like I don't know,
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: just like it doesn't hit the way that I need connection,
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: you know, to have selface level conversations and stuff is fine.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: I can do it. I can do it. I can
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: do it, but I don't want to, you know.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: It's like, it's fine, I'm capable of having those conversations,
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: But am I going to create the level of depth
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: and connection with you that I ultimately want in my life?
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: If the answer is no, I only have so much capacity,
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: and it's going to go to the people who can
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: give me what I'm putting out.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: Exactly, Why would you waste that time and energy over
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: there if you're not getting what you need from it
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: absolutely with your close loved ones that you feel alive
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: and feel well.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: When I'm surrounded by the people who aren't being their
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: vulnerable self, it's energy out for me because you can
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: only grow so deep, you know, Whereas like.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: Whenever a round, it's a lot of energy out, it's
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: a lot. It's energy leak. Yeah, it is exhausting.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: And so I'd rather be around people where I don't
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: have to be on, they don't have to be on.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: And we can just be just be and not get canceled.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: Love that out. Quantity over quality whack.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: It's more intentional and focused on gross It's cool yeah,
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: like more, yeah, just quality, quality everything. Yeah, and outstarting
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: my leadership and how people see me. So this was
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: about my sister gave me a compliment the other day
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: and she said something to me and just reflected something
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: back to me about what I'm doing in the year
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: that I've had and stuff like that, and I was like, oh, wow,
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: it's so interesting because the way that she sees me
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: is not necessarily the way I see myself.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Interesting, And I thought that.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: Was really interesting because I'm like, oh, I can understand
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: with the things that I'm doing why she would feel
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: that way.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: But I'm like, why don't I see that about myself yet? Interesting?
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: So I think for me, I want to out this
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: year like doubting my leadership and how people see me
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: because I can learn to trust that, like the woman
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: that I've always wanted to be is who I am
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: showing up at. Yeah that's cool, you know, and trusting
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: that all I'm doing that. So those are my ins
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: and outs.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: I love that. And then we were going to talk
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: about about blind spots. Do you want to bringing you on? Yeah?
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: For sure, what's a blind spot of yours that you well,
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: you're not so blind to now? But you want to
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: improve on. And guys, this is not easy to talk
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: about tens of thousands of people because when you talk
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: about this stuff, it's like you're almost opening up a
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: can of worms for people to pick on you or
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: to put you down for it or find evidence that
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: like you're a bad per But I don't know. We
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: just wanted to bring it forward because we all have
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: blind spots. We all have things that we need to
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: work on and that we want to be better at.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: If you don't, I think you would lack self awareness
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: and being your ego and think your top shit when
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: all of us have room to grow and we need
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: to get more curious on that and actually be more
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: awareness forward so that we can be even that one
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: cent better than what we were yesterday. So this isn't
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: easy for us to talk about, so be kind, but
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: we are hoping us bringing us forward. You'll get off
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: this podcast and actually like take time to reflect on
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: yours and not feel so shameful around us. Yeah. Yeah,
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: like that.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: I think a blind spot that I feel like I have,
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: or I suppose it would be a thing that I
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: would like to work on because I'm aware of it,
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: is I can be quite Braddy, and I've really noticed
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: like little things come up recently where like if I
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: don't get my way or it's not done the way
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: that I want it to be done, or you know,
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: something like that, then I feel like I can get
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: this real brady energy about me where it feels really
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: like a sixteen year old kind of version of me,
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: you know, young adolescent.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: But what I I want, what I want, I want
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: it now, and.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: If I'm not going to get it, then I'm going
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: to like, you know, what's the word like protest almost
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm gonna put my foot down, I'm gonna stomp,
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: and you know, a bit like habitantrum. So it's definitely
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: a part of me that is dormant for the most part,
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: but I've noticed more recently it's been kind of rearing
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: its head and I'm like, oh wow, this part of
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: me like exists. I want to work on where I'm
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: projecting my own stuff onto people as well, you know,
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: like when I see traits and other people and I go,
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: oh wow, like that bothers me because I've really been
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: clocking it lately, like people like around me and I'll
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, this person does this, and then.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: I'll be like, but I do that too, Yeah, And so.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: Just like being mindful that I'm not, you know, because
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: obviously they triggers me for a reason, because there's a
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: part of that in me, but I haven't fully seen
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: or I haven't fully integrated. So like clocking my projections
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: and just using the things that trigger me in other
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: people as curiosity to do, Okay, what about this have
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: I not accepted about myself? Like how can I learn
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: how to accept this part of myself even more? Because
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: it does come up for me, you know. More recently,
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: I've been talking to you about this with someone in
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: my life where you know, he'll do something and I'll
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: get super triggered about it and then be like, oh,
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: you know what, that's exactly like my behavior, or like
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: why does you know this person psycho analyzes me?
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: Or why they're putting labels on me? And I'm like
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: where does that show up for me? You know, like
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: where am I doing that?
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: So just like cleaning up my own backyard, yeah, more
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: before I go and like do the thing of psychoanalyzing
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: people and being like, well this isn't good or I
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: you know, being so like picky on those things without
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: having cleaned up my side of the backyard first, because
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I may be a coach and all the things,
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: I'm fucking human at the end of the day. And
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to claim that I'm perfect by any means,
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: as much as I would love to, I'm not and
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: I know I'm not. And like, just seeing all of
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: these things in myself really humbles me of going like,
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: I may have done you know how many years of
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: personal development, but I still have a really long way
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: to go.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: All of us. You know, it's for our work, and
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: I'm not ignorant to that either. And new people in
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: your life too, will bring up new triggers, and so
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: all people in your life will bring up all stuff
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: that you still haven't healed, and they're coming up for reasons.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: It's like the invitation to heal it.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: Different relationships, for sure, Different relationships, different triggers. Oh, I think,
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm like, come to ash, You're like, I'm exhausted,
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: I'm tired.
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: I don't want to feel this triger anymore.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: Another thing that I feel like I want to work
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: on is assuming the best of others in the moment
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: when I'm triggered or emotionally reacting really beautiful one because
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: it's it's not that I don't like in the moments
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: when I'm feeling really triggered, it's like I can't see
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: past the trigger, you know, And while it doesn't last,
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: it doesn't last very long, but in.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: The moment, it still feels true.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: And I really want to learn how to kind of
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: stop that response or at least squash that response so
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: that I'm not immediately assuming the worst case scenario that
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: person when I'm emotionally triggered, because the people in my
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: life don't deserve that, and they don't deserve for me
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: to assume the worst case scenario of them just because
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: I'm having an emotional response that's telling me that this
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: person isn't a safe person because it's not true. Yeah
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: it's not true, but it's in that moment when you're in.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: That all I know. But it's just because your body
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: is screaming I'm not safe, Like, yeah, I need to
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: protect myself.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Now, of course, And I'm so easy in those moments
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: to point the finger or to make the other person
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: wrong or whatever story. Yeah, whatever story comes up in
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: the moment, But I just I want to be better
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: than that.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: That's cool. Yeah, I love those beautiful self awareness for sure.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: I've got some other work ones.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, But just like things I want to work on
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: is like my leadership skills. So I want to learn
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: how to delegate better, be more an efficient team leader,
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: you know, just like really work on those skills for
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: like this next year, so I can get more efficient
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: at having a good team, wanting people to come on board,
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: wanting people to stay on board, and being somebody worth following.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, especially as our team grows, that is a
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: position you'll be more into, yeah, being a leader.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: And as our team does grow, like there's how many
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: of us now, one, two, three, poor.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: Two, I've got two solid ones and then we have
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: help with other things. The two solid ones we're communicating
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: with like on the daily.
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and then like maybe like three more that a
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: little bit more inconsistent. But as the team grows, I
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: just want to make.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: Sure that I'm a person yeah that is worth following,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: A good leader, a safe leader, trustworthy, one one who communicates,
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: one who goes first and is willing to go first
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: and lead by example. That's what I want to do.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: That's cool.
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And then my last one is just to take
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: more time for myself, to have solo time and to
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: have think time so I can connect with like my
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: creativity and my solitude because I really feel like my
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: best ideas come from that place, and I feel like
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: I have like a world of ideas that come through,
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: and then my best ones come through when I'm like
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: just chilling by myself.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because that's when you're creating space for them to
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: downloads to come. If you're always busy around other people, yeah,
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: it doesn't come through, right. Yeah. One thing I have
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: been reflecting on lately, Steve and I've been having a
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: lot of big conversations about our relationship the last couple
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: of months and like what we're both wanting and making
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: sure we're still aligned. And I think every relationship should
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: do this, especially when you've been together long term, because
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: so much can change in six months, a year, two years.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: We're just always checking in and there's been some really
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: hard conversations. It's really big ones and bigualizations of things
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: who want to change and everything, and also a few
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: projections on my side. So one thing I really don't
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: like is defensiveness. And I started pulling Steve up on
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: a couple of things that he would get defensive on,
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: and he's fully owned that and like super aware of
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: it now and he's catching himself a lot quicker or
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: repairing a lot quicker, and I can just see he's
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: holding it so much better. And then, yeah, a few
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: weeks ago he sat me down and let me know
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: that I also get very defensive. Was like, yep, you're
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: right there. That's why I don't like it so much
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: because I do it. Yeah, so there's that side of things.
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: And then Steve and I always communicate about love languages,
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: but we were talking about how we're going to do
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: another whole episode of love Languages. How normally there's like
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: a driving two force, but like, if I'm actually really
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: honest with myself, I like all of them and I
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: want all of them love this. And you know, I
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: sent him this real about how in relationship is really
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: beautiful if you can acknowledge a lot of them, do
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: all of them? And he was like, yes, definitely, get
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: so much better at this. Like I'm excited to learn
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: more and to try more. And he he's improved a
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: lot of them. And I was looking in the mirror.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: I was like, you don't do those for him. Oh,
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: I don't do them for him. I don't. Yeah, I
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: do a lot of physical touch. I try with words,
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: but I'm like sitting on my high horse, like expecting
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: him to do more. Yeah, I'm like, what are you doing?
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: So I actually said to him, I said, I've had
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: this reflection, and I would actually like because I feel
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: like I'm very vocal and very good at communicating what
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: I like, yeah, what I don't like in the love
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: languages and what makes me feel good? And he doesn't
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: communicate that. So I said to him, would you be
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: able to let's have a really big conversation about like,
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: what kind of gifts do you like? It's not a
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: big gift person, but I'm like, surely you like gifts
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: like coming home to a surprise. What does quality time
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: look like to you? Words of affirmation? Is it cute
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: love notes? Is it text messages at a phone call?
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: Is it just face to face? Like I want to
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: know specifics of each of the love languages, because if
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm not gonna be able to do
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: it very well. Right, And he even he goes, I
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: don't know if I actually even know the answers to
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: all of those So, wow, can I have some time
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: and I'll get back to you. And I was like absolutely,
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: but yeah, like I'm going to fail of do it
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: how I think I would like to receive it. I
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: want to do it how you want to receive it. Yes,
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: it's different, So like, make me a check list, give
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: me some examples that I can go and expand and
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: get creative with that. So I just want to get
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: better at projecting and not actually cleaning up my backyard
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: first as well before I said this before, but taking
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: things personally, I really yeah, I've really been reflecting on
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: how much I take things personally a lot, a lot.
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: Another thing I really want to work on this year
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: that I didn't realize just watch you on the car
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: and way up here is I feel like I have
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: a lot of built up like anger from past stuff
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: in my relationship with Steve, and he spoke about it
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: on his podcast episode around drinking and party drugs and
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: just like that season that we went through and as
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: much as we've done a lot of work and with
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: like quote unquote repaired and I've forgiven I think I
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: have in my heart, but also my body hasn't. Yeah,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: So the moment that we have a hard moment or
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: an icky moment, I bring up the past and I
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: like use it as a weapon. Yeah, and I can
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: really see how unproductive that is and also how damaging
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: it is to not only him but to us and
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: our connection. And he holds it really well, but he's
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: communicated with me that it's really hard to move forward
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: from the past when I keep like bringing it back in.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: He's like, I already hold shame for how I've shown
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: up on those times, and I'm really trying, like I'm
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: not that man anymore, but I feel like you don't
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: fully you don't fully let me be that man that
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: I am now, because you keep bringing that in and
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: it's like it's almost like you're scared to fully and
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: he goes, I get it. I understand why. It's like
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: you're scared to let me fully in again, and that's
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: preventing us from like progressing forward in like you know,
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: this next phase of my marriage. And he's one hundred
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: percent right. Yeah. So I was like sitting up for
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: a while and I was like, I actually think I
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: need to get like a coach or go and do
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: some sessions with him together. And he's so open to
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: that as well. So that's what I'm going to look
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: into and just see how I can like move some
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: of that old trauma and resentment because it is such
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: a relationship killer. Yeah, and I don't want it to
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: be there because I look at this man, I love
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: him so much, and then I just like still remember
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: times where boundaries are cross, and yes, boundaries across, but
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: it wasn't even clear on my boundaries back then. They
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: were so blurry, they were so gray. I was reactive,
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: he was doing this thing. It was just we just
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: didn't fully understand and we were just growing. And I
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: look back and what I know now and how clear
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: I am on my values, on my standards, on my boundaries,
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: on what I want in a relationship, my non negotiables,
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: like some things are just not acceptable now, and like
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: we're on the same page with that. So it's not
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: all his fault. But yeah, I can just see the
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: damage that it's done and I'm wanting to like really
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: move through that. I think that's so beautiful. Yeah, it's
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: going to be a big thing for me, I think
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: in the next couple of months. But I'm excited for it. Like, look,
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: he's so fringing it's yeah, so scary goal. Yeah, so
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: when you sign up with a coach or a new course,
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: and the girls in Rise and Side even feel this,
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: and we get messages all the time with our online
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: subscription of like I'm or before they actually sign up,
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: I'm really scared to do this work. This is really uncomfortable.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: I know I'm holding t I know my nervous systems
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: reacting right, know. I've got such a negative mindset and
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: i keep every year setting the same goal, so I'm
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: never making any progress. Is this something you can help
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: with them? Like, yes, because we're still going through all
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: of that. Yeah. And as much as we try and
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: help women, like, we still have to do the work
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: ourselves on our stuff and I don't want to ever
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: shy away from that and sharing this, like, I hope
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: it inspires someone out there to see their stuff and
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: not be scared to ask for help. Like I'm not
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: scared to ask for help. Yeah, I'm nervous to get
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: a coach and all of this to come up and
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: face it, Yeah, to face it, and I know I'm
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: going to have to feel through a lot and have
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: some hard conversations and be really honest with how I'm feeling,
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: but I'm also really excited for that because I know
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: on the other side of that, it's more freedom, it's
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: more joy, it's more love, it's more respect, it's more trust.
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: Is a new version of us that we get to
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: create together. I'm really grateful to have a man that
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: wants to do that with me and is so more
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: than willing, like very very grateful for where we're at
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: and having a man that wants to do that with me. So, yeah,
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: that's going to be a big focus of me. And
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: I'm nervous for it because it's going to be a yeah,
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: but I know that it's going to help me, my community,
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: my relationships, my kids. I always think too, the more
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: stuff that I go through, the more I learn, the
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: more I lean in, the more I can help them
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, I won't pass on my shit to them,
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: because if you don't heal your own stuff, you are
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: going to pass it on to your kids. Yeah, and
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: it's a big responsibility as a parent. Yeah. So yeah,
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: I'm excited. It's nervous, I know, all of it gets
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: too vulnerable. You're like, what, people just don't talk about
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: their relationship online. They don't they don't. I wish more
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: people did because you feel so alone in it sometimes
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: or you just like it's harder to learn when people
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: aren't talking about it. Yeah, it's true. All you see
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: online is like, ef, I'm making cute videos how I
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: love they are and how perfect they are. But like
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: in reality, every couple goes through their stuff. True, you know, Yeah,
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: can I add on to the back of that. Yeah,
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: it's so true.
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: And it's like I've kind of been shying away from
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: those kind of conversations too as well, like just for context, guys,
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: like I have someone new in my life and I
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: wasn't going to share this yet because I feel like
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: I have a little bit of fear around just showing
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: stuff online when it comes to like new intimate relationships
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: because obviously, if you've been listening, you know you here
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: when like my relationship breakdown happened like a year and
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: a half ago, and then like when silver Fox came
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: into my life, and then I just I get scared.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: I think of the judgment of like having new people
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: come into my life talking about on social media, and
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: then if it doesn't work out, then I'm like, oh,
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: well shit, Like there goes another person kind of thing.
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: So that's obviously my own stuff to work through. But
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: everything that you just said is so true. And I
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: think relationship stuff is so hard because you know, when
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: you're single, like recently, when I was single, it's like
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: I feel on top of the world and I feel
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: amazing and it's so beautiful, and you know, I've just
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: met this incredible man who's like come into my life
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: and kind of like taken my life by storm. And
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: obviously it's still very new, so I don't know what's
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: going to happen. But I'm also not putting pressure on it.
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: But I'm also very much enjoying how good it feels
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: to be in it. And he's so beautiful, so communicative,
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: so kind and respectful of me and just like thinks
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: the absolute world of me, and like all of the
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: ways that he treats me and is with me, communicates
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: with me, connects with me, Like all of those things
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: are like something that I've always wanted. Yeah, And I
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: sit here with Ashi and I talk about how I
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: want these things, and like, you know, I've really been
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: dealing with like these couple of triggers that have been
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: coming up for me recently around feeling like my Braddy's
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: side is coming out, you know, not getting my way,
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: not getting enough attention, or like you know, little moments
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: when I'm feeling triggered, and like how uncomfortable that can
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: be when you're single And then you get into a
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: relationship and I'm sitting here, like to Ashley, going like, fuck,
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: I know how much of this shit is going to
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: come up for me? And I'm scared, Like I'm actually
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: scared because I'm like, I know that there is so
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: much about me that doesn't get activated when I'm single.
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so easy to avoid when you're singing, but
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: it's so easy to avoid because you're not being triggered. Yeah,
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: no one's getting i mean other than your friends.
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: No one's getting close enough to you to see those
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: things about you to then trigger you. Yeah, And it's
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: like there's so much about yourself you learn in intimate
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: relationships that you don't get to do when you're single.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: And so part of me has been like.
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: Really like a little bit scared because like he is
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: all of the things. And then I'm like, oh my god,
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: my commitment folk, Like am I scared?
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: Am I scared of something that actually feels real and
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: beautiful and could be really beautiful for me and my
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: growth and who I am, and also like the love
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: that I get to give back to, you know, to
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: him because he deserves and he's such a beautiful human
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: And I'm just like part of me is like really
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: scared to face that stuff, to look at it, to
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: have to go through it. I have to feel it
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: to all the things. And I was just saying to
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: actually in the car on the way up, like.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: My God, like I am a triggered girlie today, you know,
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: and not for anything bad. It's my own stuff.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, okay, cool, I'm really going to have
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: to lean into these regulation tools and stuff that I
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: know how to do, just like we're putting in rise inside,
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: because I know that I'm going to have to learn
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: how to repair really quickly regulate myself so that I
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: can be a really good person for myself and also
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: show up in a way that I want to when
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: it comes to him as well.
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: You know that, oh the grass is greener on the
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: other side. Yeah, I can see why people like run
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: from a relationship when things get hard and run to
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: the next one or run to you by themselves, like oh,
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: just easier by myself. I don't have to deal with that,
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: and like I'd be lying if I haven't had those
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: thoughts over the span of my relationship as time. So
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: I'm like, actually, this is too fucking hard, Like they're
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: meant to be this hard, and you have those thoughts
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: to yourself. But if you don't heal in this relationship,
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: I guarantee it's going to show up in the next
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: relationship one hundred percent. It's just going to be with
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: a different face on and a different situation. But like
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: that's all within us. Yes, it's like wear they're down,
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: and of course, like it's a different story if the
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: person is not aligned. If we always say if they're
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: not willing to grow with you, yes, or you know,
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: there is different situations. But if you're both willing, you
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: know this person's good for you, you feel aligned, you love
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: the shit out of them, then it's worth like sitting
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: in that storm together and going through it together rather
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: than just running the moment things get hard. Absolutely, this
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: is a conversation We've been having a lot lately.
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: Every time I've had some trigger come up, I've been
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: bringing it to Ashy and going like, okay, I can
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: feel myself almost wanting to find reasons to bounce, you know,
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: to leave or whatever be because obviously there's fear there
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: also taking into consideration, I'm just checking like, okay, is
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: this actually aligned or is it just that I'm scared?
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: And a lot of the things that have come up
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: for me have been like me trying to find reasons
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: to go because that would be perceived the easier option
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: because then I wouldn't have to look at this stuff
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: feel more peaceful sometimes for sure, But I'm also very
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: much like obsessed and like enjoying like the space that
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: I'm in with him, and like what we're creating, how
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: connected I do feel to him.
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: It's like the safest.
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: Thing that I've ever been in my life and so beautiful.
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: But also what comes with that is also letting go
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: of the expectation of how I thought my relationship should look,
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: just like expectations that I put on myself of you know,
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: what a partner should be, who they should be, how
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: they should behave, you know, like the way that they
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: hold themselves all of those things, and going okay, but
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: what are the three things that I actually really want
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: and value in a relationship And like you know, as
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: she would saying to me, like, as long as they
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: have like all of the things that you really care about,
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: the top four really important things, everything else is workable. Yeah.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, Like it's so interesting.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: It's it's been a really cool reframe for me to
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: just like face all of this. Yeah, it's all of
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: the discomfort of the things I'm learning in myself and
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: also not leaning towards a part of me that normally
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: likes to run away. Yeah, that's also an out for
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: me this year. Is it a part of me that
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: wants to run away from things that feel hard?
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: Yes? Yeah, it's fair And I love I love doing
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: this back and forth with you too, because I feel
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: like I know you so well and it's like everything
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: that Tiana has said she wants in a man, he's it.
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: I know she brings something in. I'm like, yeah, but
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: you also have evidence of this. Yeah. He's so willing,
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: he's so da da da dada. It's like just to
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: bounce back and forth you have, I can see your
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: body go ah, yeah, just talking. I'm just scared. Yeah,
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: you know, such a long way.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: And I think as well, because of the way that
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: my last relationship made me feel I'm very protective of
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: my heart now, yeah, like you should be.
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: I never want to feel like that ever again. I
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: have to go through that again. And so I'm like,
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: you know, when I let somebody in, I'm like, oh,
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: I want to close my heart a little bit.
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: And then it's like just reminding myself that it's safe
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: to explore and open my heart to lay up people who.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: Are good for my heart. Definitely, And as much as
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: we want like our men to be x y Z,
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: Like I remember Coach saying to me when Steve was
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: working on something, it's like he's gonna fuck up. Yeah,
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: he's gonna have human moments where he slips back or
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: he says something or does something like do you have
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: room for him to be a human? And I remember
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: like being like, oh, I'm like once again sitting on
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: my high horses if I never do anything wrong, and
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: I'm just expecting him to be perfect. And it's like
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: allowing those imperfect moments in the human that we love
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: and adore. And I look at the way Steve holds
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: all of my flaws and all of my moments, and
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, that's really beautiful. Like that's unconditional love.
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: So beautiful. You know, it's like it's room. You said
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: this the other day, like he gives me room to
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: make mistakes always. Yeah, never has not given me real,
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: enjoying mistakes, whereas my expectations and him are a lot higher.
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: So that's been a cool reflection the last six months.
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: So beautiful. Everyone's got their own stuff to worsh Yeah, like, yeah,
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: I don't see humans as good and bad. It's like, no,
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: we're messy. And as long as you've got that awareness
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: and the willingness to work through it, I think anything.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: Is possible to repair, to repair accountability.
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, intimate relationships are the hardest.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: Like I feel like it's like personal development on crack, Like, oh,
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: isn't it the things that you learn about yourself? And
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: it's almost so humbling, like it is something that's some
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: things that I've seen in myself in the last month. Especially.
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: You don't feel when I'm like I don't feel when
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: I'm single. So I'm like, oh cool, Like I'm actually
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: I'm doing pretty good. And then I get it on
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: by this trade of mind and I'm like.
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: Dang it, yeah, wow, shit, that was spicy. I'm like, okay, okay,
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: I need to apologize for that. Yeah, you are really
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: good at repairing even moments. It is very human and
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: intimate relationships. Like we were talking about the other day,
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: like something that triggered us about a man. But I'm like,
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: that doesn't annoy me, even new to it. I don't
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: care about it. I think it was something yours did.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, but if I did that,
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: you wouldn't care, And you're like, no, I wouldn't get
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: same with Steve, like you'll do something. You're like, well,
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: I don't think you care if I did that.
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: I'm like, why is that taking things personally? Thing? Yeah,
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: and like being triggered and like always thinking I'm right.
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm really noticing it.
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: And they activate more in you because you're just so
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: plugged into those connectors and with your parents, you're so
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: biologic plugged into them. You get more activated and more
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: triggered because you're so plugged in. Or it's someone like online,
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: I'm like, ah, yeah, you might sting for a little bit,
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: but I don't even know what you look like. Yes,
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: Pat Lady Underscore two seventy five. I'm not like to
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: take advice from someone that I'm not going to take
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: criticism from someone I wouldn't take advice from now, so
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: you later know. But if Steve says it to me,
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah, you're right right, You're God damn it.
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: We hope you really enjoy this. We hope you took
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: a lot away, but hope you reflect on yourself. Bring
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: you awareness into where you're at, how you're showing up,
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: things you want to improve on your ins and outs,
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: get really really clear on who you want to be,
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: where you want your life to go, how you want
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: to feel at the end of the year, and if
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: you are feeling lost stuck, need some help, want a
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: supportive sisterhood, Like come and join us in Side, Rise
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: and Side, because these are the kind of conversations that
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: we have on our lives and our trainings with the
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: girl in the community, Like this is why we created it,
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: because these kind of conversations are really important. They are,
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: and we.
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: Wanted to showcase a little bit of that today as well,
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: because we want you to know that it's safe to
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: have these conversations and that when you have these conversations,
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: you don't need to judge yourself for it.
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: And like We're not here to label ourselves good or
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: bad not.
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: We're here to explore all of who we are and
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: what actually exists underneath the surface of who we are
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: as people, and that is messy, makes mistakes, fox up
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: sometimes is not perfect, and we want to learn how
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: to bring love into all of those places and.
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: In playfulness, and that's exactly what we do in Side
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: Rise and Sides. You want to be a part of
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: our growth and get on our wavelength and being our energy,
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: then come and join us. We'll leave the link in
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: the description box or just come over to our instagrams
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: and should just some messages say I want to be
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: a part of them. Will will, Yeah, we get We'll
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: get you amongst But thanks for joining us and we'll
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: see you tomorrow for best in submission. Bye,