Latest / Bent Not Broken: Starting Over After Divorce | Post Divorce Life / Divorce Recovery Made Practical: Resetting Triggers and Reclaiming Identity

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Divorce Recovery Made Practical: Resetting Triggers and Reclaiming Identity · Bent Not Broken: Starting Over After Divorce | Post Divorce Life

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of Bent Not Broken.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Heartbreak and trauma may feel like the end of your story, but here it's the beginning of a bold new chapter.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Coach Deborah Griffiths, and this is the space where women rise, rebuild, and rediscover their purpose.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Remember this truth.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You are bent, not broken.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to this bent not broken bonus coaching session.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Today I want to take you deeper into some of the insights shared in my conversation with Melinda Perry, an award-winning leader, strengths coach, best-selling author, and the founder of Happy Girls Don't Do That.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Melinda's story wasn't just a story of divorce.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: It was a story of losing herself, rediscovering her identity, reclaiming her power, and stepping into a version of herself she never thought possible.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: And today I want to break down the lessons you can apply to your own healing journey.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get started.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Insight number one.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Those gut feelings, the isolation, unpredictable meanness, secrets, and lies.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: As she said something that every woman recovering from emotional abuse needs to hear.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: They don't.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: They just get bigger.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Your takeaway?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: You're not weak for missing the signs.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: You were helpful.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: You were committed.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: You were trying.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: But now you were aware.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And awareness is the birthplace of healing.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Insight number two.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Manipulation attacks your identity.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Melinda shared how emotional manipulation made her feel inadequate, reactive, and not enough.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Even though she had always been strong, adaptable, creative, and strategic.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: When someone chips away at your confidence long enough, you begin to believe the lies.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Your takeaway?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you're feeling lost after divorce, it's not because you're broken.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's because someone taught you to doubt your worth.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's time to relearn who you are.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Insight number three.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Healing happens in small pieces.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Melinda didn't just wake up one morning suddenly whole.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: She said she had to find herself again in little chunks.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Through journaling, gratitude, reconnecting with her son, kickboxing, and slowly listening to the people who loved her.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Your takeaway?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to find all of yourself today.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Just take one small step, one shift, one truth.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Each piece builds on the next.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Insight number four.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Delete delete.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: A tool for emotional triggers.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: This was one of my favorite tools Melinda shared.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Anytime a trigger surfaced, an old memory, a smell, a song, a location, she would just say delete, delete.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Then she immediately shifted to her sensory rich positive thought, like puppy kisses.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Over time her brain began choosing the gratitude instead of the trauma.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Your takeaway?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Triggers don't have to control you.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can retrain your internal response one gentle correction at a time.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Try this.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Delete, delete, replace gratitude.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's simple, it's powerful, and it works.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Insight number five.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Strength is not what you think it is.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Before her training, Melinda believed strengths meant discipline, endurance, and making everything look perfect.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: But the true strength came from knowing who she actually was.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Her real strengths, her real identity, her real wiring.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Your takeaway?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Strength doesn't mean surviving abuse.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Strength is choosing you.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Strength is honoring your identity, not shrinking it.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Strength is rebuilding with intention, not reaction.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Insight number six.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Your future self is more powerful than you know.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's a version of you on the other side of this divorce who is braver, more confident, and more self-aware than the woman who entered the relationship.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: And as Melinda said so beautifully, your version is so much more impactful and beautiful than what he ever gave you credit for.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Your takeaway, you are not moving toward a lesser life.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: You are stepping into the life you are always meant for.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the final coaching challenge.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Rediscover your strengths.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: This week I want you to write down three strengths you had before your relationship, three strengths you developed during it, and three strengths you want to grow now.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: You might be surprised by what you discover.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: You are not starting from scratch.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: You are starting from wisdom.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining this bonus coaching session.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: If today's insight spoke to you, share this episode with someone who needs hope, clarity, and strength.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, happy girls don't accept abuse.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Happy girls don't shrink.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: And happy girls don't apologize for who they are.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: You are bent, not broken, and your story isn't over.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to today's episode of Bent Not Broken.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that this episode reminded you that even through life's toughest moments, you are bent, not broken.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: If this message inspired you, please share, rate, review, and subscribe, as it helps us reach more women who are ready to rise and rebuild.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, keep living bold and walking in your purpose.