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Why Ignoring Family Problems Always Makes Them Bigger · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for June 29, 2026. Why Ignoring Family Problems Always Makes Them Bigger.
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  I'm borrowing some brilliant insights this week from my friend,
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  fellow marriage coach, and fellow elder, Sean.
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  On Sunday, Sean preached on 2 Samuel 15, 1-12. He used to talk about dysfunctional
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  familages and marriages.
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  I only yelled amen once, but I was right with him on everything he said.
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  You can watch the sermon if you'd like. There's a link in the show notes.
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  The passage talks about how Absalom starts to build a rebellion against his
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  father David's rule as king.
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  David and Absalom had a dysfunctional relationship of epic proportions,
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  and we can learn what not to do from them.
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  The problem started when Amnon, David's firstborn son, became obsessed with
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  his half-sister, Tamar, eventually raping her.
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  Absalom, thirdborn son and full brother of Tamar, took care of her.
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  But David did nothing, no justice, no consequences.
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  David failed both as a father and a king by ignoring the crime.
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  Two years later, Absalom invited all the king's sons to a sheep-shearing celebration
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  and had Abnon killed when he was drunk.
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  Absalom then fled to his maternal grandfather's kingdom of Geshur,
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  where he stayed for three years.
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  Joab uses deception to get David to agree to let Absalom come home,
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  but David refuses to see his son.
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  Based on the law, both Amnon and Absalom should have been put to death for their
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  actions, but David refused to take any action.
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  Ignoring problems does not make them go away. Neither does it usually lessen
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  them. Usually, ignored problems grow.
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  The hurt becomes stronger over time. Others are pulled in, either because they
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  see injustice or because they care about the person who has been mistreated.
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  Absalom had his brother killed because David ignored Amnon's crime,
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  and in time, Absalom tried to overthrow his father's kingdom because David avoided him.
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  Odds are none of your family relations are as horrific as Absalom's,
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  but probably some wrongs done to you have been ignored or downplayed,
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  and that has led to injuries and resentment, and may have resulted in strained
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  or broken relationships.
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  If you have children, you have on occasion failed to deal with things as you
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  should have, leaving injury and resentment and possibly damage to your relationship.
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  Before I focus on marriage the rest of this week, I want to encourage you to
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  think about your relationships with your family.
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  Are there issues that should be addressed? Is there a relationship that needs to be repaired?
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  Whether you are the victim or the one who failed Please make an effort to fix
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  things Problems with parents or kids hurt everyone involved And they harm our
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  marriages Set aside your pride and make an effort,
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  This is Paul And healthy family relationships make doing marriage well easier.