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Navigating money with your honey · She's On The Money

0:00
Speaker 1: She's on the Money.
0:02
Speaker 2: She's on the Money.
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Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the
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Speaker 3: podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Today's episode, if
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money is brought to you by Suppora,
0:27
Speaker 3: Australia's first roundup shopping app that helps you save your
0:30
Speaker 3: spare change without even realizing it.
0:32
Speaker 1: But more on that later.
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Speaker 3: My name is Georgia King, a copywriter and TV assistant
0:36
Speaker 3: with huge plans to slicken up when it comes to cash.
0:39
Speaker 3: I am joined as always by my light, my guru,
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Speaker 3: Miss Victoria Divine.
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Speaker 1: Can I v hello, Miss Dramatic.
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Speaker 3: Sorry. Now today on the show, we're going to be
0:49
Speaker 3: talking about love and more specifically how the devil we
0:53
Speaker 3: navigate finances when we're in long term relationships. Frankly I
0:57
Speaker 3: can't wait to rip into that, but for the sake
0:59
Speaker 3: of can consistency. First, let's chat money wins and confessions.
1:03
Speaker 3: How did you go this week? Be?
1:04
Speaker 1: Do I get to go first? Baking time?
1:06
Speaker 2: You can go first?
1:07
Speaker 4: I have a money win for you, which I was
1:09
Speaker 4: really excited about. My money win this week is actually
1:13
Speaker 4: from Facebook Marketplace. I went through over the break my
1:17
Speaker 4: wardrobe and pulled out all the things that I don't wear,
1:19
Speaker 4: so I was a little bit more savage.
1:21
Speaker 1: And I know I've done this before. I'm actually quite.
1:23
Speaker 4: Well known for selling things on the internet that I
1:25
Speaker 4: don't wear. But I actually picked a few dresses that
1:28
Speaker 4: I loved but knew I wasn't going to wear again,
1:31
Speaker 4: and pop to them on the internet and I am
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Speaker 4: now five hundred dollars richer. I'm really excited about that, actually,
1:37
Speaker 4: because I still love those dresses, but I hadn't worn
1:41
Speaker 4: them in twelve months and I felt like maybe it
1:43
Speaker 4: was time to let them go. And I've put that
1:46
Speaker 4: five hundred dollars to the side, so I'm going to
1:48
Speaker 4: be using it for clothes in the future. I didn't
1:51
Speaker 4: want new clothes to impact my budget, but I also
1:54
Speaker 4: wanted to be able to treat myself when I did
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Speaker 4: want a new dress, so I didn't want to, you know,
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Speaker 4: put it back into my safe, which I think is
2:00
Speaker 4: a really smart idea, but for me, I wanted to
2:02
Speaker 4: allocate that to the side so that next time I
2:05
Speaker 4: have a wedding or something that I'm going to, I
2:06
Speaker 4: can pick a new dress or a couple yeah, and
2:10
Speaker 4: not feel guilty about it. So that's my money win
2:12
Speaker 4: of the week get for us.
2:15
Speaker 3: Okay, so mine is kind of lame, but but I've
2:19
Speaker 3: started shopping at Aldi, and guys, everything there is amazingly cheaper.
2:25
Speaker 3: I couldn't recommend it more. My favorite items would be
2:28
Speaker 3: the tuna slicnse.
2:30
Speaker 4: How much you're saving on your grocery bill though, so
2:32
Speaker 4: it's like a big win.
2:33
Speaker 3: Look, honestly, I think my grocery bill probably haves shopping
2:37
Speaker 3: at Aldi incredible. Yeah, thank you. It's also a good time.
2:40
Speaker 3: You never know what you're gonna get. There's always fun
2:42
Speaker 3: stuff in the middle aisles.
2:43
Speaker 4: Yeah, that could be a money loss though, so maybe
2:46
Speaker 4: let's stick to the outer aisle.
2:48
Speaker 3: But they have a really good rose for like ten dollars,
2:51
Speaker 3: tastes like fifty dollars. Just kidding, I don't. I've never
2:54
Speaker 3: had a fifty dollars bottle of wine, but one day.
2:57
Speaker 3: Tuna slices are really good. I could go all day.
3:00
Speaker 1: She's the hummus just everything.
3:02
Speaker 4: I'm obsessed with their terremisalada. So I feel like I'm
3:04
Speaker 4: on that trying to same page. But yes, Audi for
3:07
Speaker 4: the win, great win.
3:08
Speaker 3: I could harp on about Aldi all day, but I
3:11
Speaker 3: won't put you guys through that. Let's stick to routine
3:14
Speaker 3: and have a little look at the She's on the
3:16
Speaker 3: money community, Victoria, have you seen any sparkly wins lately?
3:20
Speaker 1: This week?
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Speaker 4: I actually have a money win from Jasmine and she
3:23
Speaker 4: posted this week a money win for all of us
3:26
Speaker 4: to read that said that she started going through all
3:28
Speaker 4: of her accounts and transactions because she's working really hard
3:32
Speaker 4: to establish a budget, and she found a subscription that
3:35
Speaker 4: she almost forgot she had, so she canceled it, and
3:38
Speaker 4: to make that even better, she donated the money to charity.
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Speaker 1: I think that's really sweet.
3:43
Speaker 4: There's been so much in the Facebook group recently about
3:46
Speaker 4: people going through their budgets and finding subscriptions that they
3:51
Speaker 4: didn't use or don't find value in anymore.
3:54
Speaker 1: And why I'm.
3:55
Speaker 4: Bringing this up is because they're getting refunds on them
3:57
Speaker 4: as well, so they're not just canceling them. They're canceling
4:00
Speaker 4: them and emailing the company and saying, hey, I haven't
4:02
Speaker 4: really used your subscription, completely forgot that I had it.
4:06
Speaker 4: Is it possible to get a refund.
4:07
Speaker 3: Which takes a little bit of effort, but then you
4:09
Speaker 3: get all of that money back exactly.
4:10
Speaker 4: And I think I saw someone and I wish I
4:12
Speaker 4: had the name for them off the top of my head.
4:14
Speaker 4: But someone said that they got eight hundred dollars refunded
4:16
Speaker 4: recently because they had an eighty dollars a month subscription
4:19
Speaker 4: that they.
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Speaker 1: Just didn't use, and they's so fun. That's amazing. Money.
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Speaker 1: Win money, win gee money. When have you got? Okay?
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Speaker 2: So mine is probably more.
4:26
Speaker 3: General in nature, but it's from Mahina, who says, today
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Speaker 3: I hit twelve K in savings. For someone who has
4:31
Speaker 3: done pretty averagely at saving in the past, online shopping
4:34
Speaker 3: is my biggest frenemy.
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Speaker 1: I am feeling pretty proud.
4:37
Speaker 3: I've also invested my first grant this year, and I'm
4:40
Speaker 3: actively trying to learn more about investing and the stock market.
4:43
Speaker 3: She then says, my attitudes towards money have completely changed
4:46
Speaker 3: this year, and I truly attribute it to that She's
4:49
Speaker 3: on the Money podcast and this group O C yeah,
4:52
Speaker 3: and then dude. She then says, thank you guys, and
4:54
Speaker 3: especially thank you Victoria.
4:55
Speaker 1: I'm so swed, but it's everybody alright. V.
5:00
Speaker 3: Now it's time for the main part of today's show,
5:03
Speaker 3: how to figure out finances with your Dahalt. Now, this
5:06
Speaker 3: is a tough subject to approach as finance for so
5:09
Speaker 3: many of us is absolutely confusing enough as it is.
5:13
Speaker 3: I know personally, I haven't been in a long enough
5:15
Speaker 3: relationship for this to be kind of an issue for me,
5:19
Speaker 3: But now that I'm getting a little older, it's something
5:22
Speaker 3: I am starting to think about. V Is there a
5:25
Speaker 3: normal approach most people take when it comes to managing
5:28
Speaker 3: finances with their partner?
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Speaker 4: Gee. There is absolutely no straight way to answer this question,
5:32
Speaker 4: because when it comes to managing money, whether it's as
5:35
Speaker 4: an individual, or as a couple, or as an entire family,
5:38
Speaker 4: there is no right or wrong. It's actually more about
5:41
Speaker 4: what is right or wrong for your situation. What I
5:44
Speaker 4: promote most is making sure that you are on the
5:46
Speaker 4: same page as your significant other, so whether you have
5:50
Speaker 4: independent financial affairs or you put everything all in together.
5:54
Speaker 4: For me, it's more about being on the same page
5:57
Speaker 4: so that both parties in that relationship are comfortable with
6:00
Speaker 4: what's going on, and to further that both parties in
6:04
Speaker 4: that relationship have complete clarity over where money is going
6:08
Speaker 4: and what it's doing and how it works. So it's
6:11
Speaker 4: not about putting all your money into a shared account
6:14
Speaker 4: and going no, that's okay. I'm really happy with managing
6:16
Speaker 4: my money with my significant other, But you don't know
6:19
Speaker 4: how to pay bills or you don't know how to
6:21
Speaker 4: manage your finances independently. So it's one thing to have
6:24
Speaker 4: a shared account, but it's another to not know how
6:27
Speaker 4: to facilitate the banking or the financial decisions that you
6:31
Speaker 4: need to make should you ever have to do them independently.
6:34
Speaker 3: So V where do we actually start when it comes
6:36
Speaker 3: to managing money in a relationship.
6:39
Speaker 4: So you're going to love this and it's going to
6:41
Speaker 4: be completely original, but you start with your money stories?
6:44
Speaker 1: Okay, yep. It's one of.
6:46
Speaker 4: Those things where this plays into every aspect of your life,
6:50
Speaker 4: and understanding your money story is going to be essential
6:53
Speaker 4: to understanding how you think and feel, an act, and
6:56
Speaker 4: behave around money in the same way that it will
6:58
Speaker 4: impact your partner. So understanding your money story and being
7:01
Speaker 4: able to share that with your partner and your partner
7:04
Speaker 4: being able to reflect on their money stories and the
7:07
Speaker 4: things that have shaped the way that they manage finances
7:10
Speaker 4: is really important before bringing them together. So it's incredibly
7:14
Speaker 4: important to not only have a shared vision and understanding
7:18
Speaker 4: of what's going on, but it's very hard to be
7:20
Speaker 4: on the same page with somebody financially if you don't
7:23
Speaker 4: have the same goals.
7:24
Speaker 1: If you're not on the same.
7:25
Speaker 4: Page, it's very hard to work towards a common goal
7:29
Speaker 4: if your idea of that common goal or the roadmap
7:32
Speaker 4: to that common goal is not the same. So understanding
7:35
Speaker 4: your money story is essential in making sure that we
7:39
Speaker 4: start the conversation in the right way. Managing money with
7:42
Speaker 4: a significant other can also be really uncomfortable.
7:45
Speaker 1: It can be something that you don't.
7:46
Speaker 4: Want to bring up, or maybe you're in a new
7:49
Speaker 4: relationship and you've just moved in together and it's something
7:51
Speaker 4: that you want to talk about. Managing money together does
7:54
Speaker 4: not mean you have to immediately put all your money
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Speaker 4: in the one account and give complete control to the
8:00
Speaker 4: other individual. It's more about making shared money decisions that
8:04
Speaker 4: put both parties in the best possible position.
8:07
Speaker 3: So this is obviously very sticky and could be a
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Speaker 3: little bit of a little bit of an uncomfortable conversation
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Speaker 3: to have with your partner, especially if you're coming from
8:16
Speaker 3: very different places in how you treat money.
8:19
Speaker 1: How do you start?
8:20
Speaker 4: How do you have that conversation that is so true
8:22
Speaker 4: g everybody when you get into a new relationship. You
8:25
Speaker 4: talk about everything right, you talk about your past relationship,
8:28
Speaker 4: you talk about your family, talk about the type of
8:30
Speaker 4: relationship you want to be in. But we never have
8:33
Speaker 4: these really deep and meaningful discussions around money. So I
8:36
Speaker 4: think we need to start with just asking how was
8:39
Speaker 4: money handled in your family growing up? Did your mum
8:41
Speaker 4: manage money, did your dad manage money? Was it something
8:44
Speaker 4: that was scarce or was it something that was in abundance.
8:47
Speaker 4: Often you see conflicting couples where one party has grown
8:51
Speaker 4: up in a family that had scarcity around money and
8:54
Speaker 4: another had abundance. So in that situation, you really need
8:58
Speaker 4: to work out what your money stories want share that
9:01
Speaker 4: because those are the friction points. You might have someone
9:04
Speaker 4: whose family was a bit disadvantaged when it came to money,
9:07
Speaker 4: so when they start saving, they're in this mindset of
9:11
Speaker 4: keeping everything and saving it and hoarding it and not
9:13
Speaker 4: spending it, whereas the person who had abundance might be
9:16
Speaker 4: in a situation where they're saying, well, I want to
9:18
Speaker 4: spend it, I want to invest it, I want to grow,
9:21
Speaker 4: And the money stories don't align. So as much as
9:23
Speaker 4: you might have common goals, it's very very important to
9:26
Speaker 4: not only understand your partner's money story, but have a
9:29
Speaker 4: conversation about what do we as a couple want our
9:33
Speaker 4: money story to look like moving forward. And that's not
9:36
Speaker 4: an easy conversation to have. It's not something that we
9:39
Speaker 4: can just do right out of the gates, but we
9:42
Speaker 4: do need to start somewhere. So ask about their family,
9:44
Speaker 4: ask about how they grew up, ask them some questions
9:48
Speaker 4: that you'd like to know the answer to. But also
9:50
Speaker 4: be really aware that these conversations can make people uncomfortable.
9:54
Speaker 4: You mentioned it before, g so don't go hard. If
9:57
Speaker 4: you've never spoken to your partner about money before, don't
10:00
Speaker 4: go right. I've listened to the She's on the podcast.
10:03
Speaker 4: I need to overhaul our entire financial lives. Let's talk
10:07
Speaker 4: about money to the nth degree, because some people just
10:09
Speaker 4: aren't ready for that. So maybe start with baby steps
10:12
Speaker 4: instead of going the whole hog.
10:14
Speaker 3: So B I know in my situation, I'm quite a
10:18
Speaker 3: savvy saver. I really look after myself financially. I would
10:22
Speaker 3: worry being in a relationship if my partner was terrible
10:26
Speaker 3: with money. I just wouldn't know how to handle it.
10:28
Speaker 3: And I wouldn't like the idea of trying to change someone.
10:32
Speaker 1: How do you do that? You don't know.
10:36
Speaker 4: It's incredibly hard, and I know we keep saying this,
10:39
Speaker 4: but it's one of those things where you can't just
10:41
Speaker 4: change someone. You need to have open, honest conversations with
10:44
Speaker 4: people about this, and it's going to take time. As
10:47
Speaker 4: I said before, you can't just jump in and go
10:49
Speaker 4: all right, we're going to be really good at money.
10:51
Speaker 4: It's about small money behaviors and habits and creating maybe
10:54
Speaker 4: a shared savings goal where they need to create a
10:57
Speaker 4: budget for themselves to meet a small goal each month
11:00
Speaker 4: and slowly growing that. And the most important thing here
11:04
Speaker 4: for me about changing someone's money behaviors is tapping into
11:08
Speaker 4: what they desire and what they want to do in
11:09
Speaker 4: the future. So goal setting, for me is really important
11:13
Speaker 4: because if you can sit down and create some really
11:15
Speaker 4: solid goals together of things that you are really passionate
11:18
Speaker 4: about and really want to achieve, it's going to be
11:21
Speaker 4: much easier to change their behaviors because they know why
11:24
Speaker 4: they're changing them, as opposed to, hey, buddy, you're not
11:27
Speaker 4: very good with money, and I prefer it if you were.
11:30
Speaker 1: You don't seem like an eg. Yeah, but also.
11:33
Speaker 4: They're not going to see the point in changing because
11:35
Speaker 4: there's no carrot on that stick. There's no reason for
11:38
Speaker 4: them to change because change is uncomfortable, and you don't
11:42
Speaker 4: make yourself uncomfortable unless you can see a really big
11:46
Speaker 4: reward for doing so. So I think it's about putting
11:48
Speaker 4: on the table, well, I really want to do this,
11:51
Speaker 4: or we want to go on a holiday together, or
11:53
Speaker 4: we want to retire early, or you know, we.
11:55
Speaker 1: Want to purchase our first home.
11:57
Speaker 4: To be able to achieve those goals, you have to
11:59
Speaker 4: have some way of saving or creating a structure of
12:02
Speaker 4: achieving that goal and maybe making it together and being
12:06
Speaker 4: on that journey together. Whether you're better at saving right
12:08
Speaker 4: now or not, is going to impact it in the
12:12
Speaker 4: long term really positively.
12:14
Speaker 3: How do you know when you're ready to have those conversations?
12:17
Speaker 3: As well as it like a two year time limit,
12:19
Speaker 3: I mean, I know that's not but what do you think.
12:22
Speaker 4: I think that's a really good question. Actually, I don't
12:25
Speaker 4: think there is a time limit. And I am such
12:27
Speaker 4: a big advocate of consistent money conversations from the get go. Now,
12:31
Speaker 4: I'm not saying go on your first bumble date and put.
12:34
Speaker 1: On the table.
12:35
Speaker 4: Hey, excuse me, I was wondering what's your networth? Yes,
12:38
Speaker 4: but I think having consistent money conversations about dates in
12:43
Speaker 4: the beginning, having conversations about going out with friends or what,
12:47
Speaker 4: you know, going to your friend's wedding is going.
12:48
Speaker 1: To cost is really important.
12:50
Speaker 4: And money conversations in those initial stages of dating can
12:53
Speaker 4: actually be hidden. So you might get invited to their
12:56
Speaker 4: friend's wedding and you'll be like, oh, that's going to
12:58
Speaker 4: be expensive. I've got to buy address, I've got to
13:00
Speaker 4: you know, travel there. We're going to stay the night,
13:02
Speaker 4: so it's going to be you know, another cost on
13:04
Speaker 4: cost on cost. I think it's important to really put
13:06
Speaker 4: that on the table, be like, all right, well what's
13:08
Speaker 4: the budget for this, Like how does this work? What's
13:10
Speaker 4: this going to cost me? And just be really candid
13:13
Speaker 4: about the conversations you're having around money, and that needs
13:16
Speaker 4: to be purposeful. So asking as well is really important.
13:20
Speaker 4: I've said this before, but having conversations about money that
13:23
Speaker 4: are non confrontational, so you don't need to ask someone
13:26
Speaker 4: about their salary, to ask them their opinion on whether
13:29
Speaker 4: they think something's too expensive or not. You don't need
13:32
Speaker 4: to ask them how much they've got in savings to
13:34
Speaker 4: talk about the importance of saving and how do you
13:36
Speaker 4: achieve saving goals. So I think it's important to also
13:40
Speaker 4: just put those money conversations out there without being confrontational,
13:44
Speaker 4: especially in the beginning. So be say I had eighty
13:48
Speaker 4: grand in the bank and my partner had one grand.
13:52
Speaker 4: How do you approach that if you're in very different
13:55
Speaker 4: financial positions, do you fuse them or is it just
13:58
Speaker 4: completely up to the individual. Yeah, look again, it's very
14:02
Speaker 4: circumstantial and depends on what you're doing, like do you
14:05
Speaker 4: have children together or are you just moving in together
14:07
Speaker 4: for the first time. But it's really important to recognize
14:11
Speaker 4: that if you had eighty thousand dollars in the bank
14:14
Speaker 4: and your partner only had a thousand, we're all on
14:16
Speaker 4: different journeys and we all have different reasons why you
14:20
Speaker 4: potentially could have saved that money and he couldn't. Like
14:23
Speaker 4: maybe you lived at home and had the grace of
14:25
Speaker 4: saving an entire full time salary into a bank account
14:28
Speaker 4: because your parents were paying for your costs, whereas your
14:31
Speaker 4: partner might be in a position with only one thousand
14:33
Speaker 4: dollars savings. But that's really important for him because he
14:36
Speaker 4: moved out when he turned seventeen. It's been paying his
14:39
Speaker 4: rent and his own way for this entire time, and
14:43
Speaker 4: you're all on different pages. But that's why it's really
14:45
Speaker 4: important to have these conversations about, you know, why am
14:49
Speaker 4: I in this position and why are you in yours
14:52
Speaker 4: instead of approaching it with judgment, as though you having
14:55
Speaker 4: eighty thousand dollars in the bank is much better than
14:58
Speaker 4: a thousand, right, And it's all about shared goals as well,
15:01
Speaker 4: So maybe your eighty thousand dollars helps you get to
15:05
Speaker 4: a better shared goal quicker, whereas if you both started
15:08
Speaker 4: in the same financial position, you might have been back
15:11
Speaker 4: a significant amount. So it's more about what you're comfortable with.
15:15
Speaker 4: But I also want a flag that it's okay to
15:17
Speaker 4: say no, you don't want to put that into a
15:19
Speaker 4: shared goal. If you have saved your little butt off
15:22
Speaker 4: and you have a whole heap of savings and you
15:25
Speaker 4: don't want it to go to a shared goal, that's
15:27
Speaker 4: also okay too. Just because you get into a relationship,
15:30
Speaker 4: it doesn't mean that person should have your savings and
15:34
Speaker 4: your asset that you don't want to share with them.
15:37
Speaker 4: So if you want to share fantastic, Go ahead, put
15:40
Speaker 4: it into a shared goal. But if that's your rainy
15:43
Speaker 4: day money, if that's your future investment money, put that
15:46
Speaker 4: somewhere that you want to put that, and create a
15:49
Speaker 4: shared savings goal so you can work together towards a goal.
15:53
Speaker 4: So that you can work together towards a goal instead
15:56
Speaker 4: of going in in an inequitable way.
16:00
Speaker 3: So we've kind of been speaking about kind of the
16:03
Speaker 3: initial conversations you have with money. What about when you're
16:06
Speaker 3: seven years into marriage and money is a problem, Like
16:10
Speaker 3: what are you talking about there?
16:11
Speaker 4: This is coming up a lot in my business actually
16:14
Speaker 4: at the moment where and it's really really special actually
16:18
Speaker 4: because we having all these women listen to the podcast
16:20
Speaker 4: and saying, wow, I've never managed my money before. I
16:23
Speaker 4: didn't think it was important, and now I want to
16:26
Speaker 4: understand money. But that's my husband's job or that's my
16:29
Speaker 4: partner's job, and I've never done it before and he
16:33
Speaker 4: likes doing it. I think that's really challenging in itself.
16:36
Speaker 4: But approaching the conversation really simply instead of saying, hey,
16:41
Speaker 4: I don't have any understanding of our financial life, I
16:44
Speaker 4: want to be completely across. It can be really confrontational
16:47
Speaker 4: to somebody, not because they're trying to keep control over
16:51
Speaker 4: it over you, but because that was their job. That
16:54
Speaker 4: was the way that they felt like they were contributing
16:56
Speaker 4: to this relationship. So maybe going in a little bit
16:59
Speaker 4: softer and saying, hey, I don't really understand how this works.
17:02
Speaker 4: Can you teach me? Can you share that with me?
17:04
Speaker 4: And working towards it over the longer term, as opposed
17:08
Speaker 4: to going in and being like, oh my gosh, I
17:10
Speaker 4: don't understand anything about our finances. I need to get
17:13
Speaker 4: a hold of this really quickly, because that's potentially going
17:16
Speaker 4: to put your partner in a spin. But again, starting small,
17:20
Speaker 4: whether you've just met the person or you've been married
17:23
Speaker 4: to them for thirty years, having money conversations if you've
17:27
Speaker 4: never had them before, needs to start with non confrontational
17:30
Speaker 4: topics like how we feel about spending and saving, not
17:34
Speaker 4: so much about what we personally do.
17:36
Speaker 3: So V I feel like I know you pretty well now,
17:38
Speaker 3: and obviously you're all about financial empowerment and equality.
17:42
Speaker 1: Hell yes, I am.
17:44
Speaker 3: So when we are heading into these relationships and heading
17:48
Speaker 3: into the territory of having these conversations, how do we
17:51
Speaker 3: still maintain our financial independence.
17:54
Speaker 4: So what I want to preface this with is that,
17:56
Speaker 4: whilst I am wildly passionate about financeinancial independence, financial independence
18:02
Speaker 4: does not mean we don't share our money. So I'm
18:05
Speaker 4: not saying that you have to, but I am saying
18:09
Speaker 4: that you can still maintain financial independence in a relationship
18:13
Speaker 4: where you have shared money goals. And for me, I
18:17
Speaker 4: would never ever ever want someone to go into a
18:20
Speaker 4: relationship and say we're going to join our money together
18:23
Speaker 4: and now you can rule the roost and you can
18:25
Speaker 4: make all of those money decisions, because even if that's
18:29
Speaker 4: something that is aligned to your values and you want
18:32
Speaker 4: someone else to outsource that task, and you want someone
18:34
Speaker 4: else to pay the bills each month, I think it
18:37
Speaker 4: is up to you to ensure that you know how
18:39
Speaker 4: to even if somebody else is doing that for you.
18:43
Speaker 4: So making sure that even though it's not your job
18:46
Speaker 4: to pay the water bill every month, you know how
18:49
Speaker 4: to pay that water bill every month, and you know
18:51
Speaker 4: where that money is coming from, Why, when, where, how
18:54
Speaker 4: all of that. So I think whether that means you
18:56
Speaker 4: have a joint account but manage your income separately, or
19:00
Speaker 4: you put everything in the same bucket, it's completely up
19:04
Speaker 4: to you. But having access to it and making sure
19:07
Speaker 4: that you are still in a position where you can
19:10
Speaker 4: make financial decisions independently of your partner. It's just so
19:14
Speaker 4: so important to me whether you're going to put all
19:16
Speaker 4: your money in the same bucket or you're going to
19:18
Speaker 4: have a joint account where you just put money in
19:21
Speaker 4: for bills. I do think it's really important for all
19:24
Speaker 4: women and all people in general actually to have a
19:26
Speaker 4: fund that lets you say no to things. So this
19:29
Speaker 4: is a fund, it's an emergency fund, it's a whatever
19:32
Speaker 4: you want to call it, fund, But that fund gives
19:34
Speaker 4: you the power to say no to things.
19:36
Speaker 3: So v does that mean that we should keep our
19:38
Speaker 3: own savings accounts to make sure we're going to be okay?
19:41
Speaker 1: So I think that's a really good idea.
19:43
Speaker 4: Having as savings account that acts as your emergency fund
19:47
Speaker 4: is incredibly important to me, something that I recommend to
19:49
Speaker 4: all of my clients to have a fund sitting off
19:51
Speaker 4: to the side that you don't touch that means that
19:54
Speaker 4: you can say no to things or get yourself out
19:57
Speaker 4: of a situation you no longer want to be in. So,
19:59
Speaker 4: whether that is a relationship, a job, a situation you know,
20:03
Speaker 4: maybe your overseason, can't get home. I don't care what
20:06
Speaker 4: it is that you're trying to get out of or
20:09
Speaker 4: that you have emergency funds for. But I would always
20:12
Speaker 4: like to think that we have access to money so
20:16
Speaker 4: that if we need to make a big, significant financial decision,
20:20
Speaker 4: we don't have to revert to our partner for permission
20:23
Speaker 4: to do that. And now I'm not saying make big
20:25
Speaker 4: financial decisions without your partner, but I am saying that
20:29
Speaker 4: I wouldn't want any woman or any man to be
20:32
Speaker 4: in a position where they can't make a change that
20:36
Speaker 4: they feel like they need to. Okay, so we need
20:39
Speaker 4: to be completely across our savings, our joint savings, but
20:42
Speaker 4: also make sure that we have our own money or
20:44
Speaker 4: an emergency fund should we need it to lean on. Absolutely,
20:48
Speaker 4: if we want to have equality in a relationship, that's
20:51
Speaker 4: actually up to us. Like I talk about it all
20:53
Speaker 4: the time, I really want us to all be equal
20:55
Speaker 4: and all have equality, But that's about also having joy
21:00
Speaker 4: ownership of our money and every part of our relationship,
21:03
Speaker 4: not just saying I want equality and not following through
21:06
Speaker 4: on your side of the deal.
21:07
Speaker 3: It's all about empowerment, is what I'm.
21:09
Speaker 4: Absolutely it is It's about taking control of your situation,
21:13
Speaker 4: making sure you're educated exactly whether you want to do
21:16
Speaker 4: that task or not. I want you to know how
21:18
Speaker 4: to do it.
21:19
Speaker 5: Yeah.
21:22
Speaker 3: Hi, there, you've reached the Shoes on the Money mailbox.
21:25
Speaker 3: Do you have a money problem you want help solving.
21:28
Speaker 3: Do you have a money dilemma you just want to
21:29
Speaker 3: chat about? Victoria is here to help. Each week, we'll
21:33
Speaker 3: be playing your questions to help make sense of a
21:35
Speaker 3: money mess you may have found yourself in. Make a
21:37
Speaker 3: quick recording on your phone and send it through to
21:39
Speaker 3: podcast at Shoes Onthemoney dot com dou and you might
21:42
Speaker 3: even find yourself on the show. But for now, today's
21:45
Speaker 3: listener question.
21:48
Speaker 6: Hi, guys, love the podcast and really really excited for
21:51
Speaker 6: season two. So my question is around relationships and money.
21:57
Speaker 6: You've spoken before on the podcast about money values. My
22:01
Speaker 6: partner and I have had very very different upbringings and
22:06
Speaker 6: therefore now in our adult lives, have very different money values.
22:09
Speaker 6: What I think is important and what I preference to
22:12
Speaker 6: spend my money on is very different to his, and
22:16
Speaker 6: it's causing quite a lot of drama in our lives.
22:22
Speaker 6: So I was wondering whether you had any advice for
22:25
Speaker 6: couples that were struggling to get on the same page
22:28
Speaker 6: with their money decisions, and whether sadly but ultimately it
22:33
Speaker 6: is a deal breaker.
22:35
Speaker 3: Victoria, I'm a bit muddled about this one. I don't
22:37
Speaker 3: know how I feel.
22:38
Speaker 1: Do you think it's a deal breaker? Surely not, Ah,
22:42
Speaker 1: look too hard.
22:43
Speaker 4: Finance is the biggest thing people argue about. It's the
22:46
Speaker 4: one thing that can trigger an emotional response like no other. Honestly,
22:51
Speaker 4: people need to be able to take a step back
22:54
Speaker 4: and have a conversation about money without it always being
22:56
Speaker 4: an emotional thing. And I think that that's really hard
23:00
Speaker 4: to do. I think it's really challenging to have a
23:02
Speaker 4: conversation about something that triggers such a large emotional response
23:06
Speaker 4: in people. And if you're arguing about it again, harping
23:09
Speaker 4: on with the money stories, you're probably not on the
23:12
Speaker 4: same page, and you need to be having those positive conversations.
23:16
Speaker 4: I think we need to take a step back and
23:18
Speaker 4: work out how to have money conversations that aren't accusatory either,
23:22
Speaker 4: and they are quite constructive. So we want to be
23:25
Speaker 4: having constructive conversations. And the first place to start when
23:28
Speaker 4: having constructive conversations about money with your partner is to
23:31
Speaker 4: remember that you are on the same team. It's you
23:34
Speaker 4: and your partner against the problem, not you and your
23:37
Speaker 4: partner against each other. Yeah, so get on the same team.
23:41
Speaker 4: And if that seems to be the problem and you're
23:44
Speaker 4: still stuck in the mud when talking about money with
23:46
Speaker 4: your partner and you're arguing over money, it doesn't matter
23:50
Speaker 4: how much you understand it or not, you potentially need
23:53
Speaker 4: to reach out to someone who can help mediate that discussion. Now,
23:57
Speaker 4: I'm not saying you need a financial advisor for this,
24:00
Speaker 4: but maybe a couple of counseling sessions to get on
24:03
Speaker 4: the same page could be really valuable.
24:06
Speaker 3: So, as always, I guess it's all about communication, and
24:10
Speaker 3: I guess in some relationships they're just going to need
24:12
Speaker 3: that helping hand from a third party.
24:14
Speaker 4: Look, the more you know about money, the more you're
24:16
Speaker 4: going to be empowered in that relationship. And if you
24:18
Speaker 4: guys can do that together, you're only going to be stronger.
24:22
Speaker 4: While we're on the topic of this, though, g I
24:24
Speaker 4: think it's really important to also point out that this
24:27
Speaker 4: podcast could potentially have made some people feel quite uncomfortable
24:32
Speaker 4: about their own money story and what's going on in
24:35
Speaker 4: their financial life, because some people find themselves being pressured
24:39
Speaker 4: by partners or family or friends to hand over control
24:42
Speaker 4: of their money or their financial decisions, and often they
24:46
Speaker 4: don't realize that's happening until it's really at the forefront
24:49
Speaker 4: of the conversation or in their ears.
24:51
Speaker 1: Like this podcast, If you guys are.
24:53
Speaker 4: Listening to this and you think that maybe you're experiencing
24:57
Speaker 4: something like this, there are so many resource that are
25:01
Speaker 4: here to help you in this situation, and I'm going
25:03
Speaker 4: to link a few of them in our show notes.
25:05
Speaker 3: That's a really important point, Victoria, thank you for saying that. Okay,
25:12
Speaker 3: now for the fun stuff. What good would a podcast
25:14
Speaker 3: on managing money with your honey bee without the pervy stuff.
25:18
Speaker 3: Now it's time for our money diary.
25:20
Speaker 1: Let's do this.
25:22
Speaker 2: My name is Evolving.
25:23
Speaker 5: I'm twenty seven years old, I'm married, and I have
25:28
Speaker 5: an evolving relationship with money.
25:30
Speaker 2: I'm a community manager.
25:31
Speaker 5: I have my husband and I built our house and
25:34
Speaker 5: we're expecting our first child in March, which is very exciting.
25:38
Speaker 5: We've been together ten years this year and married for two.
25:41
Speaker 3: Today's money diary is from twenty seven and evolving. Who
25:44
Speaker 3: shares her money with her partner and is expecting her
25:47
Speaker 3: first baby very soon.
25:48
Speaker 5: I never really had a great relationship with money. Fourteen
25:52
Speaker 5: years and nine months, I went straight down to Woolies
25:55
Speaker 5: and got a job as a checkout chick, but I
25:57
Speaker 5: never learned how to manage my money. Speak to my friends,
26:01
Speaker 5: some of their parents sat them down at a young
26:03
Speaker 5: age and set up a beautiful account for them and
26:05
Speaker 5: taught them about saving and putting away ten percent of
26:08
Speaker 5: their paycheck each week. I never really had that, Like
26:11
Speaker 5: my parents didn't have a great relationship with money as well,
26:14
Speaker 5: so it kind of then transferred to me where I
26:17
Speaker 5: had that ability to just spend, spend, spend, and that's
26:21
Speaker 5: where I found myself in trouble. So I think I've
26:25
Speaker 5: had to learn as I go to learn about my
26:28
Speaker 5: relationship with money, because you just really have no clue
26:30
Speaker 5: if you're not taught, you have no idea where to
26:33
Speaker 5: put your money, or how to save, or how to
26:35
Speaker 5: feel good about money. And before I shared money with
26:38
Speaker 5: a partner, I found money to be like my own
26:41
Speaker 5: little secret. So I negotiate with myself to be a
26:46
Speaker 5: bit you know, treat yourself this week. Oh don't worry,
26:49
Speaker 5: I'll I'll sort it out next week, like I won't
26:51
Speaker 5: I won't buy my lunches next week.
26:52
Speaker 2: And it was just a.
26:53
Speaker 5: Big mental game of bargaining and negotiating with myself until
26:58
Speaker 5: I then joint accounts for my partner, who then could
27:01
Speaker 5: see that I was spending on a certain dress or
27:04
Speaker 5: spending on certain online stores. I never really had that
27:07
Speaker 5: accountability because it was a mental game with myself. The
27:10
Speaker 5: first I think a couple of weeks that we joined
27:13
Speaker 5: our accounts, I was in a bit of mourning. I
27:16
Speaker 5: mourned my individuality. I mourned that I could do something,
27:20
Speaker 5: you know, naughty with money and nobody would yell at me,
27:23
Speaker 5: or not yell at me, but you know, no one
27:25
Speaker 5: would chase me out for it.
27:27
Speaker 3: So now we know what she does and how her
27:29
Speaker 3: and her partner share money, it's time to get into
27:31
Speaker 3: the juicy stuff. How much do they earn and how
27:33
Speaker 3: much is sitting in their bank account right now?
27:35
Speaker 5: So I earn just over two thousand a fortnite net
27:41
Speaker 5: and my partner's on about one hundred a. Yeah, so
27:44
Speaker 5: here's the real breadwinner for us. And currently we have
27:48
Speaker 5: about seven thousand dollars in savings.
27:49
Speaker 3: And what exactly happens to that money after it's deposited
27:52
Speaker 3: into their account.
27:53
Speaker 5: So we have set up direct debits on the day
27:56
Speaker 5: that we get paid. We find it both to be
28:00
Speaker 5: the best way because it's kind of like it goes
28:03
Speaker 5: in and then you don't see it if all your
28:04
Speaker 5: director it's come out of that time.
28:06
Speaker 2: So we love that. I love that mostly.
28:10
Speaker 5: So that goes into there and then we'll kind of
28:12
Speaker 5: afford forecast anything that couldn't be direct debited on that
28:16
Speaker 5: day and we'll make sure we're aware of that or
28:19
Speaker 5: he'll let me know that. You know, by the way,
28:21
Speaker 5: this fortnight, no crazy spending because we've got this to you.
28:25
Speaker 3: Okay, Then what about making big money decisions as a couple.
28:28
Speaker 3: How does twenty seven and evolving navigate this territory.
28:32
Speaker 5: My partner and I, the biggest thing is communication and
28:34
Speaker 5: we have to be open and honest, and especially for
28:36
Speaker 5: my side of it, that doesn't mind tapping, tap and
28:40
Speaker 5: go and a bit of after pay we've closed right now,
28:42
Speaker 5: it's fine, But it's about taking ownship and accountability and
28:47
Speaker 5: having those conversations that are really honest and going with
28:49
Speaker 5: if we do want to get a mortgage, or if
28:51
Speaker 5: we do want to get that new car, or if
28:53
Speaker 5: we do want to get that pram that you want,
28:55
Speaker 5: this is what needs to happen. You can't buy your
28:57
Speaker 5: lunch every day and you can't do this, and so
28:59
Speaker 5: holding each other accountable and being really clear on what
29:03
Speaker 5: each other needs from that situation.
29:05
Speaker 3: We know that twenty seven undervolving is pretty good at
29:08
Speaker 3: managing money with her partner, but how will this change
29:10
Speaker 3: once she goes on maternity leave.
29:11
Speaker 5: I think, reflecting on it now, I think my husband
29:13
Speaker 5: and I didn't do a lot of research into it.
29:15
Speaker 5: We just kind of thought, Yep, we're ready, We've got
29:17
Speaker 5: a bit of savings, it'll be fine, we'll go and
29:19
Speaker 5: by stop sale, it'll be awesome. And then we found
29:21
Speaker 5: out after we felt pregnant that my company doesn't offer
29:24
Speaker 5: paid maternity leave, so they definitely hold my position. I
29:27
Speaker 5: can reach out to senseling for benefits, but it's something
29:30
Speaker 5: that I didn't research on. I just thought all companies
29:33
Speaker 5: offer paid maternity leaf and they don't, which is interesting.
29:37
Speaker 5: So we then kind of had to reflect and go, well,
29:40
Speaker 5: where do we go from here? Who's going to be
29:42
Speaker 5: the care at home? What's our plan? Are we saving enough?
29:45
Speaker 2: What do we do.
29:46
Speaker 5: So it took a few conversations over the coffee table
29:49
Speaker 5: to work out where we are, where we're sitting, where
29:51
Speaker 5: we want to be, and I think we're at a
29:54
Speaker 5: really good stage now reflecting on it and from there
29:57
Speaker 5: and we'll both work together to see who goes to
30:00
Speaker 5: work and what the plan is from there. Will survive
30:04
Speaker 5: of his income for a bit with our savings is
30:06
Speaker 5: our offset account, so mortgage comes out of that. So
30:09
Speaker 5: and we've had quite a few big purchases lately, which
30:12
Speaker 5: is so exciting.
30:13
Speaker 2: Car seat, So I.
30:15
Speaker 5: Feel confident in a position, especially after you and your
30:18
Speaker 5: leave's paid out and everything like that, that will be comfortable.
30:22
Speaker 5: But I think it might be a conversation in six
30:24
Speaker 5: months time because his work offers phenomenal benefits and so
30:29
Speaker 5: is there option where we can switch roles or is
30:33
Speaker 5: it going to be easier than I thought to not
30:37
Speaker 5: because day to day you're not working, you know you're
30:39
Speaker 5: not going to spend as much.
30:40
Speaker 2: Is it going to be okay? So we'll see.
30:42
Speaker 3: What about investing? How does twenty seven and evolving feel
30:45
Speaker 3: about it? Does she or her partner invest? And if so, how.
30:49
Speaker 5: I don't and either does my partner and it's purely
30:53
Speaker 5: because we just don't have the information. We haven't really
30:56
Speaker 5: read into it. It's the word invest is kind of scary.
31:00
Speaker 5: It's something that we've both talked about, but we just
31:02
Speaker 5: don't know where to start with. And when there's a
31:05
Speaker 5: big rush, I think in your relationship where it goes
31:07
Speaker 5: from wedding to honeymoon to house to baby, you kind
31:12
Speaker 5: of just go like, well, I've got to get my
31:14
Speaker 5: savings up, like that's the best thing I can do
31:16
Speaker 5: right now, and that's responsible. So I think it's a
31:19
Speaker 5: mindset shift for the both of us to go that
31:22
Speaker 5: investing is important and it's not giving away your money.
31:25
Speaker 3: What about debts like credit cards or personal loans?
31:28
Speaker 5: As my money journey is evolving. When I first met
31:32
Speaker 5: my partner, I was quite heavily in credit card debt,
31:35
Speaker 5: and I thought the best way to solve a credit
31:37
Speaker 5: card debt was to get another credit card to pay
31:39
Speaker 5: off the first credit card and then repeat and yeah,
31:42
Speaker 5: and so it was I just would never learned. I
31:45
Speaker 5: just thought credit cards were just what you got, and
31:48
Speaker 5: I was never told otherwise.
31:49
Speaker 2: So I was in quite a large amount of debt.
31:52
Speaker 5: He also had a credit card as well, and so
31:55
Speaker 5: when things got really serious and we decided we wanted
31:59
Speaker 5: to have a house and start that journey, we consolidated
32:03
Speaker 5: all of our debts and put it onto the mortgage.
32:05
Speaker 5: And I think that that was a really fantastic experience
32:09
Speaker 5: for the both of us because it allowed us to
32:11
Speaker 5: have a clean slate, and it was like, this is
32:13
Speaker 5: your chance. This is your the stress of the credit
32:16
Speaker 5: cards that you're only paying off the interest, and you know,
32:19
Speaker 5: you try and put it on another interest free loan
32:21
Speaker 5: and then you forget to pay that off and it
32:23
Speaker 5: turns into quite the drama. So that was both for
32:25
Speaker 5: both of us. We both said, this is our clean slate.
32:28
Speaker 5: We don't want any more credit cards. We'll focus on
32:31
Speaker 5: the mortgage and then go from there. So, yeah, we
32:35
Speaker 5: have a mortgage in there, and also a personal loan
32:40
Speaker 5: as well to because we did the backyard with the house.
32:42
Speaker 2: You can't leave it all muddy.
32:43
Speaker 3: Just twenty seven and evolving, have any good money habits.
32:46
Speaker 1: She's especially proud of.
32:48
Speaker 5: I am a bargain hunter, and so when I've got
32:51
Speaker 5: in my mind that I want something of a guild
32:55
Speaker 5: would be a brand, it could be a purple jacket.
32:58
Speaker 5: I will make it my mission to find that as
33:01
Speaker 5: a deal for weeks, like, I will look it up.
33:05
Speaker 5: So for instance, the cot, sorry I knew what I wanted,
33:09
Speaker 5: I researched it, I looked up sales. I ended up
33:12
Speaker 5: finding on marketplace for like less than a quarter of
33:15
Speaker 5: the cost brand new. So I'm really research it. It's
33:19
Speaker 5: not just about if you want something, go out and
33:21
Speaker 5: grab it and treat yourself, like look into the deals,
33:24
Speaker 5: like there's click frenzies all the time. This marketplace, I
33:28
Speaker 5: can't talk about it enough is phenomenal as well, So
33:30
Speaker 5: I'll make sure I research it and I feel confident
33:33
Speaker 5: in that purchase if it's a big amount, knowing that
33:35
Speaker 5: I completely got it right.
33:38
Speaker 3: And what about her worst money habit?
33:40
Speaker 5: Yes, my worst money habit, and it's evolving. But my
33:44
Speaker 5: model used to be you can't buy houses in heaven,
33:48
Speaker 5: so whenever I would make a purchase, I would think, well,
33:51
Speaker 5: like you only live once, it's fine, So my money
33:55
Speaker 5: decisions are really evolving, going, well, you're also kind of
33:58
Speaker 5: a house on earth if you don't money, So I'm
34:01
Speaker 5: really my worst habit is just that yolo element and
34:04
Speaker 5: thinking that well, money's going to come back in in
34:07
Speaker 5: two weeks time.
34:08
Speaker 2: So it's fine.
34:09
Speaker 5: I can sort that at next fortnight I have a
34:11
Speaker 5: really great fortnite, or the weekend the fortnight after I've
34:14
Speaker 5: an even better fortnite. I would say my habit is
34:18
Speaker 5: and my bad habit. And also I find some people
34:22
Speaker 5: get gratification for money by seeing a certain number in
34:25
Speaker 5: their account that doesn't connect with me. I don't look
34:27
Speaker 5: at it and go, oh fantastic, I've got ten thousand
34:30
Speaker 5: dollars in savings. I've made it. I get the thrill
34:33
Speaker 5: out of holding it an at item in my hands,
34:36
Speaker 5: or getting that confirmation email that your flights are booked,
34:39
Speaker 5: or getting that confirmation email that your package has been
34:42
Speaker 5: paid for or something. And so I've had to manage
34:45
Speaker 5: that mentally in savings going well, I really want to
34:49
Speaker 5: book that trip, so I want to get that confirmation email,
34:53
Speaker 5: So this is what I need to do in order
34:55
Speaker 5: to get.
34:55
Speaker 2: There to book it, as opposed to I've got ten
34:58
Speaker 2: thousand dollars sitting in my bank out.
35:00
Speaker 3: What is today's money diarist actually saving for what's her
35:03
Speaker 3: big money goal?
35:04
Speaker 5: Yeah, so we're definitely saving for the baby. And say
35:09
Speaker 5: I wouldn't say that we both have a mentality to
35:12
Speaker 5: reach a certain amount in our savings and then we're pleased,
35:15
Speaker 5: and that's a tick. We're just working on managing big
35:19
Speaker 5: financial commitments with like the baby, the car seat, the pram,
35:23
Speaker 5: that sort of stuff, and also keeping our mortgage under control,
35:27
Speaker 5: and I would say just keeping ahead of where we
35:31
Speaker 5: need to be. But we're also looking at hopefully going
35:35
Speaker 5: to the US at the end of the year, so
35:36
Speaker 5: that's a huge goal for the both of us and
35:38
Speaker 5: something really fun and exciting that can put our money
35:42
Speaker 5: decisions into perspective.
35:44
Speaker 3: Finally, how would today's money diarist rate her own relationship
35:47
Speaker 3: with money if we forced her to give herself a grade.
35:49
Speaker 5: If I had to give myself a rating, I would
35:52
Speaker 5: give myself a B because I'm not at that a
35:57
Speaker 5: standard yet. But I think I've definitely taken the steps
36:01
Speaker 5: to learn about my habits and the best way to
36:04
Speaker 5: harness them and the best way to use them for good.
36:08
Speaker 5: But I definitely have moments of weakness where those online
36:12
Speaker 5: sales get me or I go a bit wild.
36:16
Speaker 2: On things that I didn't need. So yeah, i think
36:19
Speaker 2: I'm sitting it a bee.
36:20
Speaker 3: Victoria another amazing money diarist this week.
36:23
Speaker 4: It was I absolutely loved this week's money Diarist. I
36:26
Speaker 4: feel like we haven't had someone who's shared money on
36:29
Speaker 4: the podcast before, and obviously this episode.
36:31
Speaker 1: Was a great one to bring it in. How did
36:33
Speaker 1: you feel listening to it?
36:34
Speaker 3: I loved it because it was so pervy and it
36:37
Speaker 3: gave me a little bit of insight as to how
36:38
Speaker 3: other couples managed their money. I also found it interesting
36:43
Speaker 3: when she was talking about the fear that she felt
36:45
Speaker 3: initially combining finances with her partner, and yeah, I guess
36:50
Speaker 3: in my relationship that's something I'm kind of starting to
36:52
Speaker 3: think about. So I really resonated with the fear that
36:56
Speaker 3: she felt.
36:57
Speaker 4: I feel like a lot of people have that anxiety
37:00
Speaker 4: around combining their money with their partner, and I feel
37:04
Speaker 4: like that, like, I completely resonate with that. If I'm
37:07
Speaker 4: being honest, I'm in a situation where I have actually
37:09
Speaker 4: just combined my finances with my partner. If any of
37:13
Speaker 4: you listened to my episode on My Millennial Money, you
37:16
Speaker 4: would know that I hadn't done it a couple of
37:19
Speaker 4: months ago, and we decided to pull the trigger and
37:21
Speaker 4: get it done. But I can absolutely resonate with that
37:24
Speaker 4: feeling of a loss of identity and that somebody has
37:27
Speaker 4: far more transparency on your personal decisions. Yeah, but I
37:30
Speaker 4: absolutely loved how much she talked about the importance of
37:33
Speaker 4: communication in her relationship and that she still has transparency
37:38
Speaker 4: on her finances even though her partner does a lot
37:41
Speaker 4: of the finance decisions and you're paying bills and paying
37:44
Speaker 4: her mortgage. I loved that she said, no, but I'm
37:46
Speaker 4: still across it and I still know what's going on.
37:49
Speaker 4: And to me, that's one of the most important things
37:51
Speaker 4: that you can do for yourself as a female managing
37:54
Speaker 4: money with a partner, Like don't hand it to them
37:56
Speaker 4: because they're better at spreadsheets or they're better at money.
37:59
Speaker 4: Make sure you or across it. It doesn't mean and
38:01
Speaker 4: I've said this before, but it doesn't mean you have
38:03
Speaker 4: to go in and pay the bills every month. But
38:05
Speaker 4: at least no, All right, well, we've got a bill
38:07
Speaker 4: from AGL. I know that comes in, I know when
38:09
Speaker 4: it's due, I know that it's being paid, and that
38:12
Speaker 4: you have that clarity around what that looks like. So
38:16
Speaker 4: I absolutely love that that she was still involved but
38:19
Speaker 4: hadn't completely let go.
38:20
Speaker 1: And I think we all should be in a situation
38:22
Speaker 1: like that.
38:23
Speaker 3: Do you have any advice and improvements she can make.
38:26
Speaker 4: I think she was doing pretty well, and I would
38:28
Speaker 4: love to congratulate her on all of the changes she's made. Obviously,
38:32
Speaker 4: at the start of her journey, she racked up a
38:34
Speaker 4: fair bit of credit card debt, and now she seems
38:37
Speaker 4: to be doing pretty well. But I would probably recommend
38:40
Speaker 4: that she sits down and does a budget with only
38:42
Speaker 4: her partner's income and make sure that all of that
38:45
Speaker 4: is going to flow. I know she said that he
38:47
Speaker 4: has a really good income and he's the breadwinner of
38:49
Speaker 4: this relationship. However, I think it's really important to make
38:53
Speaker 4: sure that while she's on MATT leave, they really keep
38:55
Speaker 4: an eye on the expenses that they have, make sure
38:57
Speaker 4: they're planning for them, and then also keeping those things
39:00
Speaker 4: in check, because I hear a lot of my clients
39:02
Speaker 4: who are or MATT leave or have recently returned for
39:04
Speaker 4: a MATT leave that they lost track of the amount
39:06
Speaker 4: of times they went out for breakfast or for a
39:08
Speaker 4: coffee to catch up with someone, even though they just
39:11
Speaker 4: went to the park. Because you know, you don't want
39:13
Speaker 4: to be cooped up at home the whole time, but
39:15
Speaker 4: you also still need to have a social life. So
39:18
Speaker 4: I think it would be really important to do a
39:19
Speaker 4: bit of a budget for that to take it into consideration,
39:22
Speaker 4: because it's also going to be a little bit of
39:24
Speaker 4: an adjustment, both in terms of finance but also mentally
39:28
Speaker 4: going down to one salary. So being as prepared as
39:31
Speaker 4: you can for that situation, to make sure that both
39:34
Speaker 4: parties are on the same page and they have the
39:36
Speaker 4: same spending expectations is really important.
39:40
Speaker 1: So I guess that's all I would have. That's great
39:42
Speaker 1: at farce, but that was such a great money dive.
39:44
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you for sharing twenty seven and evolving. And
39:50
Speaker 3: that is about all we have time for today. But
39:53
Speaker 3: just before we head off, let's quickly wrap the boring
39:56
Speaker 3: but important stuff. The advice shared on Shoes on the
39:59
Speaker 3: Money is general in nature and does not consider your
40:02
Speaker 3: individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational
40:06
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40:09
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40:49
Speaker 3: Podcus Bye bye, cut Out the Last Bite
40:57
Speaker 1: Comity byes, Bye bye bye