Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 107. Ash Wilking: Nike Trainer & Rumble Instructor

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107. Ash Wilking: Nike Trainer & Rumble Instructor · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Be careful that the sword that you fall on to
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: inspire others isn't the one you injure yourself with.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Hey Hurdlers, Emily a body coming in with episode one
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: oh seven of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: sit down with inspiring individuals to talk about everything from
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: their big wines to how they've gotten through some of
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: life's toughest moments.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: On the show, you can.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Expect vulnerability, motivation, and candid discussions with everyone from top
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: athletes to aspiring entrepreneurs on what it really takes to
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: follow your passions. My mission is simple to inspire you
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: to be your best self, move with intention, and have
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: some fun along the way. Today I am chatting with
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Ash Wilking. She's a Nike trainer, Rumble instructor, an all
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: around kind hearted, beautiful individual. For those of you that
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: are unfamiliar with Rumble, it's a fitness studio now in
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: a slew of major cities around the US, and will
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: detail all that and just a little bit now. Ash
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: and I had the pleasure of catching up before the
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: current state of affairs, which is always something I think
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: that is important to mention before we get going on
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: the show.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: Today.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: We talk about everything from growing up in smalltown Louisiana
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: to losing her sister unexpectedly at age twelve, to meningitis,
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: also competing in the pageant system, and struggling.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: With disordered eating.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: I really really commend Ash for her vulnerability in our conversation,
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: knowing that she's now comfortably at a place with her
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: journey where she can now reflect and hopes to help others.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: It's a really, really beautiful thing.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: She also talks to me about making her way to
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: New York City after graduating from LSU, eventually trusting her
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: gut to transition out of corporate America and embrace a
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: career in the fitness industry. Overall, I walked away from
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: our recording in awe of her strength and really rallying
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: behind her message of empowerment and taking up the space
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: that we each really deserve. Before I bring you our conversation,
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: a quick shout out to my sponsors, starting with Athletic Greens. Okay, So,
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• 2:42
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• 2:46
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• 3:20
  Speaker 2: but with Athletic Greens, my nutrition doesn't need to suffer.
• 3:24
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• 3:27
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• 3:49
  Speaker 3: Second shout out of the episode.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: To my sponsor beam Beam makes meticulously extracted natural CBB
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• 4:00
  Speaker 2: don't know about the rest of you, but I onys
• 4:02
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• 4:06
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• 4:11
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• 4:17
  Speaker 2: I put it in a smoothie with a cup of almondmilk,
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: some frozen banana, a few ice cubes, and poor sigmatic
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: peanut butter protein powder, and soon enough, I feel like
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: I've got a handle on my colm. I'm ready to
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: get back to business and finish.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: Off the day strong.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: They are offering Hurdle listeners a great deal. Head on
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• 4:47
  Speaker 2: checkout for fifteen percent off your purchase today. As I mentioned,
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: we do touch on some sensitive topics in today's episode,
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: So if you yourself are struggling with disorder, eating you
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: are certainly not alone. Head on over to National Eating
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Disorders dot org for their live chat helpline, or give
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: them a call at eight hundred nine to three one
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: two two three seven. As you listen to today's episode
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: and you are loving all of the takeaways that Ash
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: has to offer, which I know that you will let
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: me know. Tag me on Instagram at Hurdle Podcasts at
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: Emily Abadi and of course if you have a hurdle
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: moment of your own to share, or you just want
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: to say hi, reach out to me at Emily at
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: hurdle dot us. Something tells me that May is going
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: to be a good month for us.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: All with that, let's get to hurdling today.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: I'm sitting down with Ash Wilking. She is a Nike trainer.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: She's also a trainer at Rumble. I always go to
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: say Rumble boxing, and then I have to cautiously stop myself.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: It's new. Talk to me about Rumble. What is Rumble?
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: We started as.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: A boxing inspired group fitness class a little over three
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: years ago, but just this past in the past few months,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: we launched our treadmill concept, so now it's boxing inspired
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: and then treadmill and Training is going to be our
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: second concept, all under one roof, and it's in a
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  Speaker 1: bunch of major cities.
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  Speaker 2: Right now.
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  Speaker 3: Where are we? So? We started in New York.
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  Speaker 1: Our first studio was in Chelsea, and then NoHo opened,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: and then we ventured across the West coast, so West Hollywood,
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  Speaker 1: San Francisco. We have a few in San Francisco, Washington, DC,
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  Speaker 1: and Philadelphia.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: I did inclue you in that I was going to
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: give you a hot pop quiz. The second you walked in.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: I was ready.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: I'm ready, not really coming, ready for the rumble round. Okay, Well,
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: someone walks into Rumble, they see you. You're a high
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: energy person, to say the least, would you say that
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: you've always been this way?
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: I appreciate that you're welcome.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: I think I have, genuinely, I've always had this extra
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: source of energy that I have no idea where it's
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: come from. But yeah, I also think that it comes
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: from I just love what I'm doing and when people
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  Speaker 1: are walking through that door, and I should be this excited, energy,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: welcoming person.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: So but yeah, I've always had that. To be honest,
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: growing up, were you super active? Super into health and fitness?
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: I was and it's interesting because you know, I grew
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: up in southern Louisiana, where yes, we were active, but
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: health and wellness was not even close to top of mind.
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  Speaker 1: So activity was never you know, we're working out to
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: be healthy. It was always sport and activity. And to
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: be honest, I think part of it was that my
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: parents wanted to get us out of the house, and
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: they kind of knew that they didn't want us sitting inside.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: It was before video games.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Were big and you could really sit on a computer
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: and there was iPads. So yeah, our form of distraction
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: was getting outside and playing.
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  Speaker 2: Talk to me about growing up in Louisiana because very
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: different from where we live now here in New York City.
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  Speaker 3: Very different. I like to say I grew up in
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: a small town.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: However, I think people from my hometown would probably take Offenst.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: But my town was you know, my town was small.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: My high school was even smaller. So I graduated thirteen people,
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  Speaker 1: so it was one of thirteen.
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  Speaker 2: I've never heard anything of that size of a graduating class.
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  Speaker 3: It was actually quite comical.
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  Speaker 2: So our graduation was like two lines of chairs. So
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  Speaker 2: you know how usually there's like rows and rows, and
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: we had two.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: Like a bus. You guys are all on the bus.
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  Speaker 3: You're ready to move on. We could we could fit
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: in one of those oversized vans.
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  Speaker 2: I always say that if and when I have kids,
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: I never want more kids than can fit in one car.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: So you guys could just take a bus, one bus
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  Speaker 2: everywhere you go, maybe even a sprinter van.
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  Speaker 3: It's fine. Okay. So you grew up in a very
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  Speaker 3: small town.
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  Speaker 1: Small town outside of New Orleans, so you know again
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  Speaker 1: it was to me.
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  Speaker 3: My town was big at the time.
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  Speaker 1: Both of my parents are from the Midwest, so I
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  Speaker 1: had a little mix of country five because my parents
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: from Indiana, and then I grew up in the Deep South,
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  Speaker 1: so very Cajun country.
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  Speaker 2: Cajun country, Cajun You're just throwing things at me I've
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: never heard before.
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  Speaker 3: Okay.
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  Speaker 2: So, growing up in Caging Country, did you always envision.
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  Speaker 3: That you would leave? Because I know you also went
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  Speaker 3: to college down south, right, I.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Had no idea I would leave, And to be honest,
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  Speaker 1: I didn't take a flight. I had never flown on
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  Speaker 1: a plane until I was I think I was sixteen
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  Speaker 1: the first.
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  Speaker 3: Time I flew.
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  Speaker 1: My version of vacation was going to Florida to see
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  Speaker 1: my grandparents. I had never been West, I had never
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  Speaker 1: been North. I had very like the only states that
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: I had visited were very much like any bordering state
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  Speaker 1: of Louisiana. So leaving was never something that was at
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  Speaker 1: the top of my list. I didn't really know what
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: else existed, to be honest, and it was almost something
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  Speaker 1: that was never really we were never really encouraged to
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: venture out of what we were used to, to be honest,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: and going to college was it was an hour away,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: let's be honest, literally forty five minutes away from my hometown.
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  Speaker 3: But that was big.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: That was I was a first generation college student, so
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: the fact that I did that, but I was never
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: encouraged to look out of state for colleges or go elsewhere.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: It was you'll be here.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: And I think that was also because my family went
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: through a few things growing up that we were so
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: tight knit that I also never expected to leave. And
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: you went to college where LSU my Louisiana State University,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: go Tiggers my country.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: Little moment came out there.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: It just like happens on command. You can't not growing up.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: You said you went through some stuff. You also probably
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: didn't grow up imagining that you'd get into this field.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: So talk to me a little bit about what it
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: was like growing up and kind of what your aspirations
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: and your goals were from a young age.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: You know, it's funny they always say, like as a kid,
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: you know, there's always things that you're interested in it
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: at some point that might lead you into what you're doing,
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: no joke. A few months ago, my mom found a
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: school project I did that asked me what I wanted
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: to be when I grew up, and I wanted.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: To be a pe teacher. Really, yes, yes, she still
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: has it. I told her to say it.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: I want to get it framed, but it said I
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: wanted to be a pee teacher. And you know, of
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: course all the other kids wanted to be doctors and lawyers,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: or the.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: President and firefighter or a policeman.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: And I just I loved being active, and it was
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: just it was who I was.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I wanted to swim, I wanted to do karate. You know,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: I was on my bike, I was on my scooter.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: I was building ramps to jump off of when I
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: was a kid. I just I loved moving and I
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: never could have imagined that it was a career that
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: I could do going into college, you know, looking at degrees.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: And also when I went into college, I didn't quite
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: understand degrees. I didn't have. You know, my high school
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: was really small. We didn't have a college counselor. I
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: just had one teacher that decided to kind of help
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: me apply to college. So when I went, I had
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: no idea that kinesiology led into being a coach, or
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: you could be a movement specialist, you know.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: I just I never.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Really understood all of these jobs and careers that were possible,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: because again I never really ventured outside of what I knew,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: and all I knew was sport.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: And so when you're going to college, was that a
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: really I feel like it would be a scary experience
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: view just because again such a close knit family, having
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: not ventured too far from home. Ever, it's only an
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: hour away, but an hour away can be a lot
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: when you're coming from that kind of environment, it feels
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: like a completely different world. So when I went to LSU,
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: I decided to live on campus because I knew I
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: needed to kind of get out. But I always say
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: LSU was my first feeling of wanting to be in
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: a big city because when you get to a college camp,
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: and especially LSU, it's a little bit bigger. I just
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: had this moment of like, I really want to be
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: in this chaotic walking around, like all the buildings are
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: next to each other.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: But yeah, when I got there, it was terrifying. I
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: went from sitting next to twelve other people and my
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: very first class was in the largest auditorium at LSU.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: It's literally where they house orientation, and it was you know,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: I had thousands of other people around me in class.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: So yes, absolutely terrifying.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: You said, You've always been a little bit boisterous, so
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: pretty outgoing. When you got to this big school with
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: all of these people, did it feel overwhelming?
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: Absolutely?
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: But yet there was something, there was something that really
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: drove me to want more of that uncomfortable feeling.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: And I still can't answer what that is, but.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I got there, and you know, I think another
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: thing that's scary is you meet these people and you
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: always think that you have this success or you have
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: all these experiences, but then you meet people that are
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: from out of state and that went to college prep
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: schools and have you know, worlds of experience before you.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: And I kind of walked in I was like, I'm
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: a first generation college student. By the way, I graduated
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: with twelve people, and I have no idea what I'm
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: doing here. I didn't feel there was a lot of
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: times that I didn't feel as smart as everyone else.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: So I went to a really great elementary school and
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Magnet School, and I was at the top of my class.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: In terms of education.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: And then you know, my high school was a small
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Christian school and our education was definitely not thing that
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: prepared me for college.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: So I know, I remember the feeling when I got there.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: I always said that I might not be the most
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: book smart, but I'm very street smart and I can
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: figure things out. And I kind of just gave myself
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: the ability to be like, you.
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: Know what, this doesn't work, It's okay, we'll figure it out.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: And I just kind of, you know, put my head
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: down and try to figure it out.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: That's pretty like ahead of your time, though, I would
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: say to like show up to college.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: And be like, eh, if this doesn't work, we'll just
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: figure it out.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: I feel like, especially again, small school, tight knit family,
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: you probably want to go like running back home to
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: your parents whenever you hit some sort of speed bump
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: or a hurdle, for lack of a better term, because
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: you're just like, I.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: Don't know what's going on here.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: I feel totally out of my ailment, like I am
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: so stressed all the things right, all the things.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: I think that that probably came because I I grew
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: up very early, and I think that it's part of
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: that is because you know, I went through the trauma
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: of losing my sister, So I went through this moment
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: at twelve years old where it was, oh my god,
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: this is terrifying. I have no idea what's going to happen,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: and something is definite as losing someone, right you kind
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: of I just immediately started having that feeling of if
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: it doesn't work, it won't work out. You know, it's okay,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: and I'm still living, I'm still breathing, I'm still able
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: to do something else.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: So if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: And I've I genuinely I'm that person, as cliche as
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: it is, that's constantly like you have to be in
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: this moment because you genuinely don't have another one.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: You don't know if you have another one. So even
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: with college, I was like, well, well, if it doesn't
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: work out, We'll figure it out.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's the kind of lesson that we
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: learn from those unfortunate circumstances, because it's like, in an instant,
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: everything changes and your life is nothing like it was
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: five minutes ago, and it will be completely different five
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: minutes from then.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, And I'm sure that.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: Going through that as your family again bringing you guys
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: closer together. But to have to grow up so fast
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: at twelve, yeah, I mean talk about another really overwhelming experience.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: It really was, you know.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: I just I'll never forget that moment and that pain
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: and that hurt, and I always say it, it just
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: it's something that I don't necessarily want to bring myself
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: back to, but I bring myself back to because in
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: my life still to this day, that is.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: My lowest moment and my hardest moment.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: And I always say that if I made it through that,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: if I made it through that with my family personally,
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: I mean I literally was a kid, but yet I
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: felt like an adult when it happened, and I just
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: started taking on the world at that point. And yeah,
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: so anything that I go through, I genuinely bring myself
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: back to that moment, and I'm like you're okay, Like
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: you made it through something really difficult, you could make
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: it through this. I'm sure that that experience also probably
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: made it a little difficult for you to let people in,
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: because I think that sometimes when we go through hardshit,
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: you know, we put our guard up right. So it's like,
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: you get to this new university, it is huge compared
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: to where you were came from, and all of a sudden,
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: there's all these new people, and the last thing you
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: want to do is open yourself up to getting hurt
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: by someone that you barely know.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: You Know.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: What's interesting is I think it actually had the complete
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: opposite effect on me.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: Really, Yes, absolutely, I've always.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Been way more trusting than I should. And I think
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: that's because I always want to see the best in
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: the situations and I always think that everyone has my
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: best interest at heart.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: And I was a little naive in that sense.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: So I actually going to college, I genuinely opened up
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: a little bit too much, right, and I would very
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: easily tell my story. And I don't think it was
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: until a little bit later, until I moved to New York.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Oddly enough, which might not be out at all, because
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: I think New York was actually what made me a
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: little bit more rigid and closed me off a little
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: bit more.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: You're begging the question, when did you open up too much?
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: You know what's funny is I actually I don't think
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: I have a specific moment.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: Think it was, you know, these little bitty things that
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: I've gone through that kind of just accumulated and they
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: came together and they hardened me up a little bit.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: I guess you would say.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: So maybe it was my first job dealing with you know,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: people that grew up in New York City that were
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: a little privileged, that you know, didn't quite ever have
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: hardships or experiences.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: And my immediate reaction was.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: It'll be okay, and it's great and you know, rainbows
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: and butterflies, and yet everyone else was like hard and
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: grinding and going and if you don't drive, you're left behind.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: You know, maybe it was like going through my.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: First cheating moment where somebody cheated on me and broke
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: my heart. You know, maybe it was the first time
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: that I lost a job. So like, there were all
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: these moments that were just very grown up and big
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: deal moments, and oddly enough, I went through one of
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: those when I was so young, but yet to me,
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: it still doesn't feel like that moment that made me hard.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: So you're in college and what are you studying then
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: if you didn't know that kimesiology was the avage that
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: you wanted to.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Be on, so I went in.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: So when I went to LSU, I went into public
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: relations and communication, and to be honest, I think I
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: was told a little bit that that would be the.
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: Best place for me to be.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: I don't actually talk about it too much anymore, but
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: when I was in actually when I was really young,
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: and then when I was in high school and going
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: into college, I did pageants because that's the Southern thing
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: to do. My hair was blond, and I had big curls,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: and I would do pageants and have all these crowns
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: and banners, and I just lived a little bit in
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: this bubble that told me that I had a story
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: that I should tell, and I had a story that
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: would make me different, and that I went through this
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: experience and I should use it, and I had a voice.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: And I got into pr and communications and I hated it.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: I absolutely hated it.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: They made me write like a different I had to
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: write all these articles every single day, in my first
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: comms class and I dropped my first class.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: My parents freaked out because you're not going to make
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: it through college.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: And I dropped my very first class, and I went
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: to my guidance counselor and they're like, look, just do
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: something that you can guarantee that you get a job from,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: and other than that, enjoy the experience of college if
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: you really don't know what you want to do.
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: And I took my.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: First leadership class, which is very odd because when you
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: study leadership it's like a big self help book, to
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: be honest. But I changed to organizational workforce Development, which
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: boils down to onboarding programs and designing what it is
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: on boarding programs for companies.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: So that's well, my degree is in Well, we've got
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: to dial it back to pageants.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: You are welcome, yes, When how old are you when
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: you started doing that? Oh?
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: Well, I was a baby, so I guess my mom
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: put me in pageants, you know, before I could technically walk.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: There's actually a really great video of me in this
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: like red fluffy dress with my hands pointed out to
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: the side, my feet perfectly placed, and I had big curls,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: and you know, I just had that big grin and
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: like that chin to the side, perfect little you know,
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Barbie doll. And yeah, I did them for a very
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: long time, and actually my sister. I don't know how
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: my sister and I did, but at some point we
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: told my mom that we hated it and we didn't
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: want to do it anymore. And I think it's when
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: it started getting a little bit caddie and the jealousy, even.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: At a young age.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: I mean we were, you know, under ten years old
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: when we decided we didn't want to do it.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: Oh wow.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: And then I got back into it after I lost
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: my sister, And again I think it was that everyone
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: else told me that I went through an experience that
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: I needed to like share with the world and that
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: I could really like a platform that I could stand on,
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: and where I do agree that that's such an amazing
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: thing to do, it was also probably the one.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: Thing that held me back the most.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: I think also, I mean, it's it's really valuable when
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: you can bring up experiences and those experiences can help
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: you communicate and share with others, but at the same time,
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: you have to be in a place where you feel
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: like it's also helping you and it's kind of again
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: this difference between like being transparent and being vulnerable. And
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: if you're not ready to get vulnerable with all of
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: these people, then at the end of the day, you're
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: just hurting yourself by bringing things up in the first place.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: I mean, at least that's how I feel.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, look, we all have these stories, and
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: you know, it's something that I don't know how it
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: came up, but I said it to myself a few
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: weeks ago, and I was like, be careful that the
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: sword that you fall on to inspire others isn't the
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: one you injure yourself with.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: And I kept telling myself this, and I'm like, you
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: can't use this story of pain to inspire others if
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: it's going to continue to hurt you. And I think
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: that that's what it was. I was living in this
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: shadow of By the way, my sister was this unbelievable,
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: wonderful human that created an organization that saved police officers.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: She was recognized by Bill Clinton. She I mean, she
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: was on her way to doing great things. And I
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: think I kind of into that shadow of having to
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: use her story. And at some point, you know, pageants
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: allowed me to tell that story, and I kept being
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: told that, you know, this is your platform. But that
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: platform gradually turned into well, you need to go to
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: the next level, which was the Miss USA system, and
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: it was well, in order to do that, you have
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: to be in a swimsuit, you need to be skinny,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: and you you know, it was all of these pressures.
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: So it was two things.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: One, I was living under this umbrella of someone else's
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: story that I was using as my own, and then
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I was also having to live in this perfect image
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: of what maybe five people sitting at a table wanted
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: me to be.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: And how old were you when you were going into
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: the Miss USA system. Let's see, I was a sophomore
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: in college. Oh wow, I wasn't even twenty one yet.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was twenty and you know, I went
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: through the freshman fifteen.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: By the way, I mean to imagine, I was an athlete,
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: so I did every sport you could imagine in high school,
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: and when I got to college, I definitely did the
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: well there's no more sports anymore, and I gained the
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: freshman fifteen and I was really unhealthy. And when I
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: decided to get back into pageants, I had, you know,
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: a coach and people that told me that, well, this
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: is the dress size you need to be and by
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: the way, you're going to have to stand on a
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: stage in heels in a swimsuit and let other people
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: judge you based on what you look like. And that
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: went from eating taco bell at two in the morning
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: at the food hall on college campus to eating plain
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: green beans and grilled chicken with zero seas name because
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: I thought I had to eat this very specific way
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: to be tiny. I'm curious when you were going through
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: that period, did you tend to isolate yourself from other
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: people a little bit more because you spell Yeah.
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely one.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Because in my mind, I was like, on this journey
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: to get this thing that I wanted, which technically was
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: a crown and a banner, but it was a platform,
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: is what I was told, you know, it was going
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: to give me this opportunity to do bigger things. So
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: I started kind of having tunnel vision and saying, this
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: is what I want to do, this is where I'm
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: going for But instead of asking for help and how
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: to get there and do it in a healthy manner,
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: I did it on my own, and I thought I
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: had to do it on my own. So if anything
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: distracted me from this goal, I just kind of shut
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: it out and I would go to the gym by myself.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: I would eat by myself. I wouldn't go out anymore
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: with friends, and you know, I would go to school,
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: get done work, get done gym, barely eat, and do
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: it all again the next day.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Do you reflect on any specific behaviors from that time
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: that were really detrimental?
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: You know, I think that that was the first time
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: in my life that I had to deal with the
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: concept of an eating disorder. And even in that time,
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: I still didn't acknowledge that what I was doing was
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: devastating and was hurting me rather than helping me. And
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: it's odd to say that because what I was doing
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: was meant to inspire others, and yet what it was
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: doing was kept crushing me, killing me a little at
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: a time.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: At the time, I'm sure that there were people surrounding
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: you that kind of wanted to know, like, what's going on?
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, it's I think it all boils down
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: to you have that moment if you want to be seen,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: you want someone to see what you're going through and
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: see straight through it. And you might not even know
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: that you want to be seen like you might be
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: crying for help, but yet no one truly understands what's
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: going on. So you know, I did have people in
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: my life that I think knew something was going on.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: But I would say it was ninety five percent of
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: people looked at me and was like, you lost so
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: much weight, you look great. Oh my god, you're so skinny,
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: you look great, you have abs. Wow, you look great
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: in that swimsuit. Oh my god, your dress is a
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: side zero. How inspiring. Ninety five percent of people looked
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: at it that way. It was, oh my god, you're
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: going to Miss Louisiana. You could go to Miss USA.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: You again, it was inspiring on the outside. And then
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: I had like five percent of people that are more
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: my best friends that I would go to dinner with,
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: and I was the one that was picking off cheese
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: and picking off the bread and literally eating a piece
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: of meat and some vegetables.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: And yet I would.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Disappear in the middle of dinner for twenty minutes because
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: I was going to the bathroom to get sick because
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: I thought I wasn't allowed to consume all those calories.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: So I did have those people that kind of like
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: kept grabbing my shoulders and being like.
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: Is something wrong? And I wanted to be.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Seen, but I also didn't want to acknowledge that someone
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: was seeing me.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: It's so hard that question when someone asks you, are
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: you okay? And it's everything you want, but it's nothing
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: you're prepared to answer.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: I almost have no words because you said it exactly
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: how it should be said. You want to be you, genuinely,
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: you just want anyone to see you in the second
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: they see you. You're terrified that they see straight through
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: every wall that you've put up.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: So how do you break through? I left? I left,
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: I so I went to Miss Louisiana.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: I got second runner up, and I was told that
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: this was supposed to be, that you were definitely going
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: to win, This was definitely going to happen. And I
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: think it was the first time that I had really lost,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: and yet it was also the first time that I
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: felt free because I didn't have the crown, I didn't
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: have the banner, I didn't have all these expectations that, hey,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: you won this great, your next step is to do
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: this live on national television. And I had the moment
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: of oh my god, this is my chance to get out,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: and you know, it crushes me because it was the
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: thing my mom and I did together, and again, it
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: meant so much to my family that I was doing
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: such big things locally, right But I was going into
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: my senior year. So it was the October of my
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: senior year, and the second it happened, I kind of
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: just had this moment of I have to get out,
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: and if I stay, I'm going to have to do
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: this again because I already had a pageant directors reaching
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: out and you're guaranteed next year to win, You're gu
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: you're our girl for next year. You're definitely going, and
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: I just I had that moment. I've actually never told
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: anybody that, but I knew that if I didn't leave,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't get out. And you know, at the time
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: I had visited New York. I was dating someone here
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: in New York City. And I'm not kidding, girl. I
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: sold my car like I put a for sale sign
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: on it. My parents really didn't think I was doing it.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: I had a garage sale, packed my bags and a
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: bottle while my ticket and I'll never ever forget my
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: family being like, you're actually doing.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: This, you can't do this? You can't leave us. You know,
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: we already lost your sister. We can't lose you. And
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: I just I knew I had to get out. I
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: knew it was the only way I could get out.
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: Did you graduate college? I did? Okay?
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So I finished out my senior year, got it.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: I had, you know, I had a few months left,
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: but I finished out my senior year. And while I
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: was doing that, I think it was under the assumption
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: that I wasn't going to leave, and it was okay,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: graduate graduation was the next big thing. And then after
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: that it was an immediate assumption that I would be
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: staying to do this next big thing, which was go
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: on to win the Louisiana Right, and so you pack
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: your bags.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: Yes, we come to New York.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: I craved quiet, I craved privacy. I craved like not
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: being in the public eye. So I went from like
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: everything I was doing was being seen. And by the way,
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: this was really before social media. I mean it was
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: like during the Facebook age, but it was way before Instagram.
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: And then when I came to New.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: York, it was I thought, because I graduated, you know,
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: I was the first one in my family to have
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: a college degree, and I was always told.
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: That that was the next step.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: It was get a job, get insurance, you know, be
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: successful and support yourself. So I just started working and
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: grinding on the corporate side, at least getting jobs to
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: help me and to get into a corporate job because
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: I still had no idea what I wanted to do.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: And yeah, I got into corporate. I started at J Crewe.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: I helped them design their onboarding program, so I was there.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: From there, I moved on and went to under Armour,
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: which was a really cool experience. And then once I
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: was there, it was the first time that I finally
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: settled into an arena that I loved, and that was
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: in the wellness and the fitness and the sports performance space.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: And I think I started, you know, feeling like I
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: was myself again. I started being around people that were
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: like minded, that wanted to be active and do these
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: you know, and I again I kind of found my space.
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: And yeah, that's kind of where fit I let into fitness.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: How much clarity, though, did you get, Like finally realizing
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: that you could show up somewhere every day and feel
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: truly at home with who it is that you are.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: It was.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: Incredibly exciting, but What's funny is that the second I
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: showed up in that space, I realized that I actually
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: had more to do and I wanted more. Right It's
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: almost like I finally got into that area and I'm like,
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: this is great, but there's something way bigger than I'm
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: supposed to be doing, or there's.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: Something that's drawing me.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: And that's when I kind of, you know, I loved
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: what I doing, but when I got off of work.
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: I would run straight to a fitness studio and take class.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: And it was before work. I was trying to go
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: out for runs. I was trying to do anything I
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: could to be active. And then I started, you know,
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: falling into line and genuinely I started teaching because I
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: went on a trip and I have friends that asked
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: me to make a workout and I, like pseudo, taught
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: them a workout class while we were on vacation. And
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: the amount of you know, people that started being like,
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: you should really do this, you'd be really good at fitness.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: And then I took the tiniest fitness job you could
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: find in the entire city, and I taught six to
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: eight people at a time.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: By the way, tell me what it is. So I
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: started at Bari. Okay, so I was teaching. Is Bari's
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: still around?
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: So Bari is now under Fitthouse. Okay, so they sold
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: the method to fit House.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: So Bari Studio was a small studio concept here in
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: New York City. I feel like, I mean maybe six
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: seven years ago, yes, right, actually when I started okay, yeah,
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: so six seven years ago. There was trampolines involved. I
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: was the trampoline girl. I'm not at all surprised by
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: you being good, by the way, I am.
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: Not a dancer. I just have this wild energy.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: And because I was a cheerleader, I had like I
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: could have a little bit of a I could hold
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: a beat.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: You never told me that you were a cheerleader. You
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: can't just throw things like so many things. I told
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: you I was a pageant girl. I feel like that,
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: like it went along with it. Were you a cheerleader
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: in high school?
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: I was? Okay.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: So another part of the Bari workout is there was
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: some dance cardio, There were some trampoline.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: And there were these like toning classes, you know where
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: you're holding really like dumbells or ankle weights. Got it,
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: But I loved it because it was my opportunity to
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: start showing people how to do something that I loved genuinely,
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: That's what it was like. There was nothing better than
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: when people walked out of class completely drenched, like that
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: was great and I had so much fun and I
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: loved it. The music was great, the energy was great,
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: and it just kind of like filled that void that
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: I felt that I was missing when I was sitting
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: at a desk from nine to five.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: Because in this instance, when you're finally helping other people
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: and opening up and giving back to them, this isn't
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: something that makes you feel hurt, right, this is something
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: that fills you up. Well.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: I felt that I was helping. I felt that I
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: was I was being that person that I needed. Right
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: when I was in college and I was trying to
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: be healthy and I was trying to get fit, I
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: had so many questions and I just want I wanted
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: to be that person for someone else. And I think
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: in the back of my mind it was I did
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: it so terribly.
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: And in the worst way you could get fit.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: I did it, and I wanted to be that answer
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: for someone who is like I've never gotten into fitness,
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: or I just want to get healthy or loose some weight.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: I wanted to be that person that was there. Meanwhile,
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: I was still struggling, so I would show up to
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: these classes and still fighting against what I was eating.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, I started teaching classes
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: and I was working twice as much, and my body
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: was obviously craving all of this nutrition, and I was
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: still having those thought of I shouldn't be eating a sandwich,
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't have bread, I shouldn't have pasta. I still
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: didn't really have all the knowledge that I have now
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: on these things, and I was still struggling.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: So when I was teaching at Bari was the moment
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: that I think was my like big moment that told
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: me that I.
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: Was doing it all wrong.
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: I was teaching tons of classes.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: I was jumping, and I started training for the New
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: York City Marathon, and I had gone to Haiti just
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: a few months before, and I had joined with an
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: organization that was going to be raising money and I
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: was like, yes, this is what I meant to do.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: I meant to, you know, do this marathon and raise
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: money for Haiti. And I get, you know, all this
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: pain going on in my leg. Finally, because I was
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: grateful that I had insurance.
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: I went and got an MRI.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: I got a call from my doctor. And what's funny
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: is I was actually traveling abroad and when I got back,
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: I turned my phone on and I had message after
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: message after message, and every message gradually got more concerned.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: And the first one was, Hey, Ash, you know we'd
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: talk to you about your MRI results. That turned into hey, Ash,
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: we really need you to get us a call, and
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: then the last one was, Ash, it's really important that
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: you get off of your foot. And I called them
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: the second I landed. I was still on the plane
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: and I called them and they said, bring your suitcase,
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: get in a cab, we'll meet you downstairs.
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: And they put me in a wheelchair.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: And I stress fractured my hip, so the top of
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: my femur actually had a crack in it. And I
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: was one dance cardio, one trampoline cardio, one mile away
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: from potentially needing hip replacement and breaking my hip completely.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: And you know, it was the moment they like handed
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: me crutches and they're like, you can't put your foot
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: on the ground for ten weeks. And it was everything
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: that I had started to identify myself with I wasn't
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: allowed to do so.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: Now I was stuck back in the office. I couldn't move,
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: I couldn't dance, I couldn't work out.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: I fell back into that spiral of you know, I
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: started eating and being terrified that because I wasn't working out,
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: I was going to gain weight or you know. So
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: it's I put myself back. And I think that was
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: the moment, the second that that happened. I think I
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: was halfway through my recovery that I picked up the
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: phone and I asked a friend, how I find how
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: do I find a therapist, How do I find someone
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: to talk to?
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: I just need to talk to somebody.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: I was on crutches, I didn't have a boyfriend, I
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: was living alone, and I was like, I just need
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: someone to talk to. That's not my parents, that's not
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: a best friend. No one knows what I've gone through.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: And it was the first time I sat down with
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: someone and was like, my body fell apart because I
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: don't take care of it. And then that just kind
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: of led into so many big realizations of you know,
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: what I had done to myself for so many.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: Years, and it's unfortunate that for so many people, myself included.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: We have to go through this moment where we're kind
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: of beside ourselves with a circumstance or a situation, and.
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: That is why we finally ask for help.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: And if there's anything that I can personally help to
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: preach into the world, it's that we shouldn't wait for
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: the fires to become wildfires.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: For us to, you know, turn on the hose and
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: start spring.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: So when I hear you say why you started, it
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: makes me think why I started? And so because of that,
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: it's just there's nothing more important than talking I think
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: about these challenges and talking about the fact that you
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: went to therapy. I mean, for women, I feel like
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: it's something for sure that's becoming a little bit more normalized,
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: but certainly nowhere near that point for men.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: Right, it was the scariest thing I did. I didn't
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: tell people that I was going to therapy. I actually
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: think this is the first time I'm publicly saying and
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: I think I put it on my Instagram a few
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: months ago.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: Genuinely, I'm not kidding.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: I think I for the very first time acknowledged that
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: I went to therapy, and it was the best thing
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: I did. But it was because I had, you know,
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: a voice that you know, wasn't biased to something I'd
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: been through or gone through. And it's nice I think that,
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: you know, coming on here and talking to you about
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: these kind of things. It's so important because how many
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: of us have gone through those moments where we've just
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: like hit rock bottom because we let it go too
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: far and the flames took over and we're like, shit,
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: I need help, I need help. And you know, I
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: think if we started talking more and more about it,
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: people would find that it's normal.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: It's also because we feel as though, again talk about
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: those external pressures and how we're supposed to be and
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: who we're supposed to be, and I need.
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: To show up for all these other people and this
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: is what I have.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: To do, and blah blah, blah blah blah, and like
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: when you finally take a step back, even when it's forced,
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: you're like, how have I been firing like.
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: This for so long?
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: Right? So for you, how do you get out of this?
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: Aside from the help from your therapist. I decided to
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: stop teaching, and I didn't want to teach dancing. I
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: didn't want to teach training, and I kind of had
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: that moment of I wanted to teach, but I wanted
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: to make a bigger stand. And I was beyond terrified,
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: right because imagine when I came to New York, it
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: was too hide from the spotlight, and all of a sudden,
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: the thing that I love doing the most became such
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: a public image. And that's when Instagram started and it
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: was what photos were you taking?
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: What are you doing?
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: And I just I had this moment where I like
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: stuck my foot on the ground and I was like,
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to stand for this anymore. We have
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: to tell women that they can lift dumb mills. We
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: have to tell women that they can be strong. We
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: have to stop seeing the word beach body and skinny
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: and you know that you want the best abs and
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: you want tiny arms and a small ass, Like we
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: need to stop this, And that was that was kind
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: of my I'm going to do something about this, and
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: the best way I could do it was to use
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: a platform and do what I love and also like
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: have a voice.
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: And that's when I decided to reach out to Berries.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: And I had that moment of when was the only
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: time I wasn't hurt and when was I the happiest,
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: and it was when I was an athlete, right, I
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: wasn't thinking about how skinny I was.
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: I was thinking about how I performed. Can I swim?
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: Can I race?
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: Can I you know, do all of these things? And
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: I never thought that what I was eating was make
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: me skinny. So yeah, so that was kind of how
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: I jumped into it.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Reached out to Barry's because you felt as though it
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: was an athletic workout. Yes, So for those of you
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: who don't know what Barry's boot Camp is, Barr's boot
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: Camp is a fifty to sixty minute class that combines
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: cardio and strength training. If you want to hear more
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: about Barries, you can click on over to the show
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: notes and check out Joey Gonzalez's Hurdle episode.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: You are welcome.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: In the meantime, you reach out to Barry's and you're like, Hey,
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: I am so ready for this.
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: I want to do this, I want to do this.
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: Meanwhile, I was still working full time, and their hesitation
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: was we're not looking for part time instructors. And I
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: just kind of kept asking and kept asking and kept asking,
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: and I was taking a thousand classes just to be that.
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: Girl that was showing up in the studio. I was like, Hi,
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: I'm here again. I'd love to teach this class.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: And I went to my boss at under Armour at
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: the time and I was like, hey, I really want
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: to be an instructor on the side, and they were
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: like great, you know, take a week off of work
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: and I took half days for two weeks and I
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: went to Berrie's and trained for the two weeks and
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: then I got the job. Thankfully, they agreed to let
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: me teach part time, so I would teach all weekend.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: I would teach at eight o'clock at night. I would
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: teach you know, super early in the morning, and then
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: I would go to an office job.
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: So I literally worked seven days a week. How was
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: your hip at this time? Healed? Yeah.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: So that was the thing was I finally started taking
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: care of myself. And you know what happened was I
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: had someone who was close to me within the medical field,
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: and you know, they really sat me down. And again
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: it's that moment that you don't want to be seen,
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: but someone sees you and they're like ash, you're overworked
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: and you're undernourished. They're like, your bone broke because you
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: didn't actually give it the nutrients that it needed. You
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: didn't strength train your muscles so that it could support
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: your skeleton. Like, there are reasons that you're hurt, and
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: I think we need to dig into this, and that's
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: what I did. I went to therapy and you know,
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: I talked to a nutritionist and I asked all the
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: questions that I needed to.
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: And I wanted to use them. So, yeah, my hip
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: was healed. I started strength training again.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: I did it in physical therapy for a bit, and
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: then that's when I kind of started going back to
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: the things that I loved, which was running and strength training.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: So now that you are feeling more like ash again,
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: where are you seeing this kind of payoff and the
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: rest of your life? Because I feel like once you
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: feel like you can show up for yourself, then so
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: many doors they just start to open.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: Yes, well, you know it's interesting you say payoff, but
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: I also think it's like an additional weight that you add, right,
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: So it's like I always think of things in the
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: sense of strength training obviously, so bear with me on that.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: But you know, you have your sled and you're pushing
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: your sled, and eventually that sled gets light and you
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: have to add weight to it to keep yourself getting stronger.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: So for me, it was like I kept adding all
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: these levels and these plates, and it was I was
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: taking on more at work because I felt empowered. I
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: was doing more in the studio because I was gaining traction.
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: I love teaching.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: But then I also got to that moment where I
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: was like, this isn't good anymore, so now I have
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: to make another decision. So and the thing that I
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: loved what I was doing, it also put me at
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: that crossroad where I was empowered to teach classes, but
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: yet I had a full time job and I had
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: to make that decision, and so you make the decision.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: I actually didn't make the decision. The universe kind of
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: made it for me. I actually got fired for my job.
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: And it was really interesting because I was at this
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: crossroads and I wanted to teach full time, and yet
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: I wanted to still have this job because in my
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: mind I needed to have a full time job because
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: being a fitness instructor still wasn't necessarily a successful career.
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: In my mind.
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: It was probably one of those gut wrenching, sucker punch moments,
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: and it was the best thing that happened to me.
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: I think that is really interesting because so often people ask,
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: you know, how do you just follow what you want
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: to do?
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: How do you go after this thing with so much instability?
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: And the thing is is that there is no roadmap, right, Like,
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: no one handed you a roadmap as soon as you
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: walked out of your other job and said to you,
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: this is exactly what you have to do now, right,
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: you have to figure that out, right, So how do
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: you start to find.
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: Balance with this new way of life? I just kind
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: of dove in.
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: And again it's that thing where I've always had that
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: mentality of I'll just I'll figure it out and it's.
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: Going to happen.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: And you know, we do get to those moments where
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: we don't actually get to decide, right we're doing all
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: these things. We don't get to decide what happens to us.
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: We don't get to decide that, you know, we're going
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: to get pushed out of a job and then we
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: have to go headfirst into another. You know, we don't
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: get to decide what life's going to throw at us.
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: But we are the sum of our responses to those situations.
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: And I think that's what it was.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: It was life's thrown a lot of shit my way
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: and I figured it out. So it was, hey, guys,
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: I'm here, I'm going to do this full time, and
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: I just started, you know, taking it one step at
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: a time. Little things like okay, I'm a fitness instructor now,
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: but you know, I don't have a degree in kinesiology
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: or I don't have these certifications.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: And I started kind of leaning into that even more. Yeah,
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: so do you start to start up or what do
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: you do?
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: Absolutely?
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, definitely does that look like? So the nice
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: thing is, you know, when I was going into Berries,
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: they require that you have a certification a CPT to
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: go into it as a personal trainer, which is great
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: and you know, unfortunately some gyms don't require that, but
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: I had it. Meanwhile, again, it was something I studied
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: for while I was working full time, and then the
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: second I got done, it was asking myself, you know,
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: what are things that I've gone through as an athlete
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: or something that I've gone through that my clients are
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: going to ask. And it was everything from I need
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: mobility or hey I can't squat, how do I fix
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: my squad? Or how do I start over, and I
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: just started researching all these SARTs and doing little, you know,
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: little bit certifications whenever I could, because I couldn't.
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: Go back to school full time. Right. I find it
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: interesting what you said before.
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: It was like I didn't want to leave my full
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: time job yet because I didn't want to just be
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: a trainer. I think, especially within the last few years,
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: the stigma that has surrounded for so long, this idea
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: being just a trainer, Right, I would vouch that it's gone. Yes,
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: do you still feel a certain level of I don't
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: know what the right word is here, a certain level of.
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: Pressure to be more than a trainer.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: I do think that those stigmas have gone away, But
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: I also think it was a little bit of In
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: my mind, I still viewed being successful as a full
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: time career with a four oh one K and benefits
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: and working for a bigger company, because that's what I
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: was always told. And again, you know, my parents didn't
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: have that, they didn't have degrees, they didn't do all
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: these things. So in my mind, success was climbing the
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: corporate ladder. And yet I moved to a city where
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: I was told otherwise. All of a sudden, there were
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: these different paths and I could be a freelancer, I
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: could teach classes. There were so many options, and I
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: still think that people struggle with that. And you know,
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: I think that we're lucky to live in a city
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: that's a little more accepting of that. But to be honest,
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: if I went back home to Louisiana, I don't know
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: if being the instructor that I am in New York
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: City would feel successful right in a small town in Louisiana.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: I think what's interesting is like this idea that success
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: is never final. Right, So, at one time in your life,
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: if you deemed success to be climbing the corporate ladder
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: right now, if you ask yourself, what does success look like,
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: your definition would be completely different. It's the same thing,
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: like failure isn't final, failure isn't fatal. We have the
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: opportunity then to take those missteps or take the things
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: that we didn't plan on, like what happened with your job,
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: and say, okay, now what is my opportunity?
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: Right? Because if you don't do that again, you're what
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: you're saying about, like, all right, well this is how
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: it is now, Like that's what helps you get what
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: it is that you want, even if you don't know
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: what that is just yet.
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: And that never changes.
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: We're constantly still asking ourselves like what's next, what's going
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: to change, And how we identify ourselves is not based
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: necessarily on what we're doing, but what we're going after
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: and what we're accomplishing.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: Anyway, I introduced you today as a Rumble instructor, So
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: talk to me about how things go at Berries and
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: when you make the pivot. So I jumped full time
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: into Berries and I was there for just a few months.
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: And meanwhile, I have known the guys that started Rumble.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: I've known Eugene, I met Andy stems Er, I knew
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: Noah for a really long time, and they actually approached
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: me before I started with Berries.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: And at the time, I was still working full time.
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to be a part of a startup
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: again because in my mind, that was a very uncomfortable
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: area to be.
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: I didn't want to be unsure.
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: I wanted a little bit of stability, and they also
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: were looking for full time instructors. I was like, you
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: know what, I'm still working full time.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do this part time gig and I'm
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: going to go with Berries and by the way, it
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: was the best decision I ever made.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: Doing what I did was hands down where I should
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: have been. But I was there for a little bit
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: and rumble started, and I had taken a few classes
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: and I really did love it, and I think I
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: just kind of had that moment of you know, I
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: had talked to Noah, I talked to Eugene, and you know,
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: they kept being like, you know, do you ever want
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: to come over? You know your backgrounds in boxing, you
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: might love doing this. And again I kind of hit
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: that roadblock where I had to make a decision instead
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: of like waiting for it to happen, I was like,
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: you know what, I grew up doing martial arts. I
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: literally started when I was five. I have a secondary
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: black belt in taekwondo. If I can take what I'm
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: doing now, which is to empower people to be strong
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: and feel strong, and I can do something that I've
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: done since I was a kid, and I could also
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: do that and teach it to women and to men,
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: I absolutely want to, and so it was less of
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: waiting for life to make the change for me, and
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to do this, and I
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: jumped and I joined rumble.
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: I loved it. I loved teaching boxing.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: There was nothing that made me feel stronger than being
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: a female on the stage that knew what she was
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: talking about. And from there it was okay, what's next.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: And then that's when we made the decision to launch treadmills,
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: and of course I was all on board for that.
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: When you look back on the last six years as
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: a fitness instructor, are there any specific experiences that you
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: reflect on as being like some of the best parts.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: I think every phase always has its highs and its lows.
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: I'll never forget, you know.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: When I was at BARI, we used to do this
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: program that was called fail Proof and we would give
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: these the new year's plans. We would do all these
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: measurements and literally help these women lose weight. And I
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: had a client that came in and she was like,
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: I don't want you to bring the tape measure out.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: I want you to make me feel better. I don't
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: want to have numbers that I have to go by.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: And for me, I was like, yes, let's do this.
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: And from there on, I stopped asking clients to check
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: the scales. I stopped asking clients to like measure their
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: waste and measure their bicep and how small.
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: Their thighs were.
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: So for me, that was a big moment right when
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: I was at Barry's. You know, I was, I was training,
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: and I was using this method, and I wanted to
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: make this statement that like what I was teaching was
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: going to work. And I decided to do a triathlon
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: and I just so happened to win. And it was
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: my opportunity to be like, I am not skinny, I'm
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: not a double zero. I've got muscles now, I'm healthy,
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: I'm not anorexic or balimic. I don't have an eating
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: disorder anymore. And by the way, I just want a triathlon.
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: And I couldn't have done any of that had I
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: been that person that I was three years before, still
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: making myself sick or not lifting weights. So again, like
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: I've had all of those moments, and with Rumble, you know,
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: it's just I don't know if I have one specific
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: and I think it maybe it's because I'm still writing
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: that story. Yeah, I'm still moving in that direction. I
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: think we're always writing the story always.
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: When it comes to your triathlon training, and I know
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: you recently ran your first half marathon, the beaming smile
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: is so excited. What really got you into that to triathlon?
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: I had a friend that decided to do team and
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: training and she wanted someone to train with and I
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: just so happened to be a swimmer.
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: And she found that out and.
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: She's like, hey, why don't you do the triathlon and
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: you can kind of teach me how to swim. And
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: again that was when I had that moment of yeah,
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: like if I could teach someone how to do something
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: or help someone, you know, reach the goal.
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: I'm in.
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: And I did my first triathlon in Staten Island. I
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: had a steel bike, I didn't clip in. I always
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: joked that I wore like old school Nike freeze that
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: you should not wear more than like, you know, two miles.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: And I ran all these miles and them, you know.
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: And then from there, I just I learned about it,
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: and then I kept going, kept going.
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: I feel like, at some point, you're going to tell me,
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: in addition to being a martial artist like Miss Usa
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: karate Kid, you swim, you also cheerleaded, Like You're going
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: to tell me that you had a stint on America's
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: Next Great Big Show or something, and it wouldn't surprise
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: me in.
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: The least, Like what a jack of all trades.
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: I just I always like to try different things and
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: you know, go from there, go from there. Yeah, So
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: what do you do these days aside from working out?
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: That is you giving back to you? Because this is
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: a question that I am working to answer myself.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: This is the heaviest question, oh ask me, I guess
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: almost like when people ask me what do I do.
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: For self care? I'm like, duh, do you have to
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: ask me this question?
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: It's so serious to be honest, like what I do
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: for me right now is working because what I want
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: to accomplish is like I'm getting there and I'm in
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: that phase. And I think we all have those moments
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: where we want to build and we really know what
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: we're going after. And right now it's on my own
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: and really building this career that I have. And then
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: also training for something you know that I've been wanting
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: to do for a long time. So I did half
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: marathon that was for me I've been wanting to run.
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: And then this summer I actually haven't technically announced it yet,
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: but I am going to ride my bike from Portland
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: to New York City. It's happening amazing data set Bike
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: is owned, and yeah.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: I love what you said about I'm just really enjoying
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: being on my own. I think that it's a hard
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: thing to get to, right. It is to truly enjoy
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: time spent alone and not be worried or feel super
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: lonely in that process.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: And it's also acknowledging that you're strong enough to be
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: on your own. I think for so long, you know,
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: we all have our safety nets that we keep in
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: place and if something happens, we're okay, right if something happens,
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: we have our parents or you know, I have a
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: savings or have this and that, And for me, I
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: think all safety nets were like kind of I just
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: ripped all them out and I was like, you know what,
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: I'm on my own and I kind of have to
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: do this because I'm by myself.
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: What would you say, has been one of the best
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: lessons you've learned embracing this time by yourself.
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: It's heavy sometimes it is, but.
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: I also think it's really important to remember that even
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: though we're on our own and we're doing it by ourselves,
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: we're not alone. I've reminded myself that it's important to
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: ask for help and to learn from others so that I,
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: you know, that I can be even more independent. But
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: at first I thought I had to do everything by myself,
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: and then I realized that it was quite the burden
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: to bear, and I allowed myself. And I think that's
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: a really important word is I allowed myself to fail.
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: I allowed myself to ask for help. I allowed myself
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: to leave or to change or to pivot. And that's
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: kind of been the one big lesson. I keep reminding
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: myself that I'm allowed to do whatever it is I
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: need to do and to ask for help. I think
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: that's the other thing, right.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: It's especially in this industry that we're in, where it
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: is so much about showing up for other people and
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: like showing up in public and doing events and YadA,
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: YadA YadA. I personally had this kind of crossroads last
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: year where I was realizing that I wasn't asking people
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: to show up for me. And it wasn't that they
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: didn't want to, but because I didn't tell them that
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: it was important, then I would get disappointed. Right, But
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: what an important lesson it is to express to people
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: not just on social media, but in real life, like, Hey,
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: it would mean a lot to me if you would
• 57:39
  Speaker 2: show up here, or if we could do this thing together,
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: or I might need some help with this. And again
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: it's a muscle that you have to get used to flexing. Right. Yeah,
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: it's a voice that you have to find, and it's
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: a genuine I need, I would like I want, And
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: it's such a selfish place for us to come from.
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: But I think we forget that we have to be selfish.
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: And I think one of the things you've said it before,
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: and it's something that's ingrained in my brain.
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: It's like put someone.
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: Else's oxygen, or put your oxygen mask on before you
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: get out somebody else. And it's true, like you have
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: to be selfish and ask for help and say you
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: need this and you want this before you can. You know,
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: look elsewhere.
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: People come to your Instagram page and they see a
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: woman that's got some great abs, and they might not
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: tell this right off the bat, but she's super energetic
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: and she has this big, beautiful smile on her face.
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: When you look in the mirror, what is it that
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: you see looking back at you.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: I see someone who's not done. I see someone who's
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: just starting. I see someone who has been hurt, who
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: has trusted, who has failed, who has fallen. I've seen,
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: I see all of these emotions, and yet I see
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: some still see someone standing And I think that's like,
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: That's something that I've a you know, always remind myself
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: is that I'm still here. I'm still standing and regardless
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: of what I've gone through and what people think of me,
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: and I'm still here and I'm still standing, and I
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: have that ability to breathe and to move and to
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: use my voice, and I see that I still have
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: a lot left to do.
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: There are probably a lot of people listening to this
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: podcast that have felt as you have, dealing with insecurities
• 59:25
  Speaker 2: about their body, potentially maybe also struggling with some form
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: of eating disorder. Do you have words or advice that
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: you would offer to them about how to maybe cope
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: with this time in their life.
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: I think the.
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: First thing that I would say is allow yourself to
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: acknowledge what's truly happening without having to have a plan
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: to change it or feel like you have to change it.
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: I think the most powerful thing you can do is
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: to say the words out loud. I'll never forget sitting
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: with my therapist and saying the words, I have an
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: eating disorder, I'm not healthy, I'm not okay, I'm not
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: safe with myself. And I genuinely I've always said that
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: putting things out, not writing it, not you know, thinking it,
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: but actually saying the words and asking for help. And
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: you don't have to plan to fix anything. You don't
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: have to have a plan to change anything what you're doing.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: You just have to acknowledge that maybe you need help.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: And from there, I think there's a world of opportunity
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: as to how you can handle your own situation. I
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: think it's really important to say that word this is
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: this is my situation, and this is something that I'm
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: going through because there's not a one size fits all
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: fixed to anything, especially when it comes to a needing
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: disorder or you know, body dysmorphia. You kind of have
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: to allow yourself to feel all the feels and start slow,
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: start little things, but allow yourself to be seen. It's
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: what I go back to, Allow yourself to be seen
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: and to be heard, ask for help and take it
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: a little all the time. And also, it's like everything else,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: if you fail, right, if you go back to old habits,
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that it's over. It just means that
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: something came back into your life and you have to
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: acknowledge that you don't want it anymore.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: When you look back over the last ten fifteen years
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: and you see this girl at so many times struggling
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: figuring out who it is that she is a woman
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: going through a hurdle moment of dealing with pageantry and
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: feeling so stuck and so alone. When you look at
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: that girl right now and you have an opportunity to
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: offer her one piece of advice, what is it that
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: you tell her? I tell her that she's much much,
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: much stronger than she realizes. That she's allowed to feel
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: the things to fail, she's allowed to not be the
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: perfect image, and she's allowed to live exactly how she
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: wants to without having to give an explanation, without having
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: to hesitate, and without ever having to apologize for the
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: decisions that she makes. I love it, Thanks lady, Thanks love.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: Please take a moment and leave a quick review of
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: the podcast by clicking the link with the description to
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: this episode. We all face multiple hurdles in life. I
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: want to hear about yours. Reach out to me at
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: Emily at Hurdle dot us connect with the podcast over
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: Instagram and Twitter at Hurdle podcast ash.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 3: Where do they find you? How do they keep up
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: with you? Give me the deats, keep up.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: With me on the ig at ashwalking, and you can
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: always catch me in the studio, either on the treadmill
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: or the boxing bag at Rumble here in New York City.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: I am at Emily, a body, another hurdle conquered. Catch
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: you guys next time. Yeah,