Latest / The Daily Sarcast / October 2nd, 2026: The Failed Execution Attempt, The Dubai-Tel Aviv Flight And Topher's Life Update

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October 2nd, 2026: The Failed Execution Attempt, The Dubai-Tel Aviv Flight And Topher's Life Update · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:02
  Are you legally an adult, but your dinner is shredded cheese eaten over the sink?
• 0:07
  Introducing Adult Supervision. We rent you a grown-up.
• 0:11
  Someone with a working printer. Someone who knows where their insurance card is.
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  Someone who will ask you, did you actually cancel that free trial?
• 0:21
  Our trained professionals supervise online shopping, late night texting,
• 0:25
  and whatever the fuck you think you're doing with those scissors.
• 0:28
  You don't need bangs. You need to go to bed. Going on a date?
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  We'll stay nearby to be that voice of reason. He's not mysterious. He's married.
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  And with our deluxe package, someone will call your doctor and make that appointment
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  you've been putting off since Obama.
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  Allegedly. No fatties, no trannies, no beardos, no weirdos, no wimps,
• 1:05
  no radicals, just warriors.
• 1:08
  Some hateful, closeted, self-loathing bigot in his state-of-the-force address on Wednesday.
• 1:13
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Sarcast. I give you the news, and maybe you'll laugh.
• 1:19
  I'm Topher Aston, and today is Friday, October 2nd, 2026.
• 1:24
  I am so excited to be back guest toasting, and I only had to get Lindsay a little
• 1:28
  bit drunk to convince her she should let me do it again.
• 1:30
  No, seriously, it actually wasn't that hard. Everybody needs to take a Friday
• 1:34
  off every now and then, so Lindsay, I hope you're enjoying yours.
• 1:38
  You might have heard about flight FZ-1073 from Dubai to Tel Aviv,
• 1:44
  which was diverted to Saudi Arabia mid-flight, after the co-pilot stabbed the
• 1:48
  captain in an apparent attempt to crash the plane.
• 1:51
  This happened on Wednesday. the wounded captain, Captain Smit Machar,
• 1:56
  unlocked the cockpit, passengers subdued the attacker, and a reserve crew landed the aircraft safely.
• 2:03
  As of Thursday when I'm recording this episode, UAE prosecutors have opened
• 2:08
  an investigation into the circumstances, motive, possible terrorist purpose,
• 2:13
  and any prior planning or direction.
• 2:15
  The motive has not yet been established.
• 2:18
  Aviation authorities confirmed that some crew members were injured and hospitalized.
• 2:23
  Just wow. I mean, this pilot was stabbed, bleeding out, and he's still solving problems?
• 2:31
  I've called in sick to work because I slept weird. Passengers described using
• 2:35
  wired headphones to help bind the attacker after he was subdued,
• 2:39
  and this is a major victory for wired headphones everywhere, proving,
• 2:44
  they might still have some relevancy in today's Bluetooth world.
• 2:48
  In Tennessee, Krista Gale Pike, who was sentenced to death for a 1995 murder,
• 2:54
  is still alive after the state's failed execution attempt on September 30th.
• 2:58
  Her lawyer said she remained alive and audibly snoring after two doses of pentobarbital,
• 3:05
  the state's execution drug.
• 3:07
  At this point, lethal seems more like false advertising to me.
• 3:11
  Authorities couldn't silence her snoring, so they cut the microphone in the
• 3:15
  execution chamber so witnesses on the other side of the glass wouldn't hear.
• 3:19
  Very government solution.
• 3:21
  After the failure, the Department of Corrections official response was that
• 3:26
  it followed every step of its protocol.
• 3:28
  Basically, they said, we followed the instructions. So who wrote them?
• 3:33
  Probably the same people who write IKEA furniture assembly manuals.
• 3:38
  This was Tennessee's second failed execution attempt this year.
• 3:41
  In May, officials abandoned Tony Carruthers' execution after failing to establish a necessary IV line.
• 3:47
  At what point does execution team become an aspirational job title?
• 3:53
  The governor has halted the remaining execution scheduled for this year until
• 3:57
  an outside review can be done.
• 3:59
  Yes, Tennessee has put the death penalty on a performance improvement plan.
• 4:04
  Okay, on the lighter side, a train station in Tokyo is testing three robot trash
• 4:09
  cans that move around collecting garbage.
• 4:12
  They've even got googly eyes. Wonderful. Now I have to make eye contact with
• 4:16
  something while throwing away that side salad I didn't eat.
• 4:20
  Don't look at me like that. We both knew that spinach wasn't going anywhere.
• 4:23
  They're deliberately slow so people can approach them, and they deliver the
• 4:27
  garbage back to human workers.
• 4:29
  In New York, a slow-moving trash can would immediately hear,
• 4:33
  pick a fucking side, before somebody tried to ride it to Brooklyn.
• 4:37
  Still, congratulations to Japan for inventing something that brings you garbage
• 4:41
  and looks cute doing it. Kinda sounds like Grindr.
• 4:45
  Topher's life update. I filmed a movie last year that was finalist for Best
• 4:49
  Indie Short in the Los Angeles International Film Festival.
• 4:52
  So I went to a screening last week to finally see it for the first time.
• 4:57
  And it was kind of amazing to see myself on a giant screen in the movie theater for my first time.
• 5:03
  A lot of my dialogue had to get cut, unfortunately, because there was so much
• 5:06
  wind on the beach when we filmed. So I guess apparently Mother Nature had some notes.
• 5:11
  Anyway, I also got to do an open mic on Wednesday night with Lindsay.
• 5:14
  That was so much fun. It was my first open mic in like seven months,
• 5:18
  so it kind of felt good to get back into it.
• 5:20
  But really the best part of the night was absolutely getting to hang with Lindsay
• 5:25
  afterwards and bonding over our life trauma and shared sense of ridiculous humor.
• 5:31
  Friday's MVP of the week?
• 5:34
  This wasn't even a close call, honestly. We just have these heroes that acted
• 5:38
  quickly and courageously, saving hundreds of lives on that flight from Dubai to Tel Aviv.
• 5:44
  So the captain, passengers, and crew, you are MVPs of the week.
• 5:49
  Cooking tip of the day, order Uber Eats.
• 5:53
  Feedback, questions, comments, nice Jewish boy looking for a date,
• 5:57
  email lindsay at thedailysarcast.com. That's Lindsay with an E.
• 6:02
  Thanks for listening to my episode of The Daily Sarcast. I'm Topher Aston,
• 6:06
  and you can find me on Instagram at Topher Aston.
• 6:09
  The Second City Level 5 Improv is having a show October 27th at 7pm at the Second
• 6:16
  City Black Box Theater in Brooklyn.
• 6:18
  Tickets are $10, which you can purchase directly online on thesecondcity.com.
• 6:24
  It is going to be so much fun, and it will include yours truly,
• 6:27
  as well as a gaggle of other Sarcast guest hosts.
• 6:31
  So come on out for a great time.
• 6:33
  Don't forget to tune in Monday for another amazing episode of The Daily Sarcast.
• 6:38
  And here it is one more time, just because I think it's hilarious.