Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / The Seven Releases 3/7: Release The Weight That Isn't Yours. What If Winning Means Letting Go. #WinIt AllWednesday

Transcript

The Seven Releases 3/7: Release The Weight That Isn't Yours. What If Winning Means Letting Go. #WinIt AllWednesday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know about you, but I'm sure glad it's Wednesday.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: And not just any Wednesday, my good friend.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: It is Win It All Wednesday.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to look in the mirror and say to yourself, I am a winner.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: And you know why you're a winner no matter what you're going through today?
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: You're here on the planet.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're hearing my voice, it means that you're alive, you're well, your cranial nerves are working, particularly your eighth cranial nerve, the auditory nerve is working, you're doing alright.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And you won because you were born and you beat out so many other uh tadpoles.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you beat out sperm and eggs, all right.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: You uh you did it, you found a way to get here.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Praise be to God.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Happy Wednesday.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get into this.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet, I'm a board certified psychiatrist.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I am more than that though.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your fellow traveler.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorting through this thing that matters to us that we call it life, and what we can finally solve and figure out together.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: We find ourselves in a seven-day series here called The Releases, the Seven Releases, and we've been releasing things so that we can be freer to live the best version of life we possibly can.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yesterday we released the lie, those stories in your mind that were never true to begin with, but repeated themselves until they began to sound like your own voice.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Today, we're releasing something even heavier and often more invisible, sneakier.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna release the weight that isn't yours.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: The hidden burdens that we don't name.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the heaviest things you carry are not physical, you know that.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: They're emotional assignments that you never signed up for.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Things like being the strong one.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Huh?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't ask to be the strong one, but it just sort of like happened.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Being the dependable one.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Being the fixer, the emotional anchor, the peacemaker, the one who absorbs everyone's stress.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: How did this happen?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: How did I get here, right?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: The one who holds the family together, who holds your friends together, who's the advisor, the one the people keep calling for answers that you may or may not have.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And the one who rarely gets to say no.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Does that sound like you?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Many of us were trained by life, by circumstances, by family issues, by survival to hold more than was humanly possible.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's just the way it is, right?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth is simple.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Not every weight you carry belongs to you, my friend.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And you're not required to keep holding everything just because you always have.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to repeat that.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: You're not required to keep holding everything just because that's what you've always done.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system feels the difference.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: It knows when you're carrying something heavy that you didn't choose.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it starts to play out in and on your body.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: The tightening in the chest, the neck after a certain phone call.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: How the heart rate goes up when you see a face or someone that you know is gonna press on you.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: The exhaustion that hits you before you even respond to the text.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: The resentment mixed with guilt that your body is saying, Oh my god, this is not yours, why are you carrying it?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a cost to the brain.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, on here on the sweet spot, we talk about science, soul, and success.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Scientifically, in the neuroscience, there's a neuroscience to carrying emotional weight.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Did you know that?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: When you carry someone else's emotional load, your brain activates something called allostatic load.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: A L L O S T A T I C.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Allostatic load.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: The long-term stress your body absorbs in order to maintain stability on the outside.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Your body's just good at it, it'll absorb the stress long term and keep you stable, but at what cost?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Your brain pays for that, it rewires around the weight you're carrying, it becomes hyper-vigilant, your sleep patterns change, your moods shift, your patience gets kind of thin, your immune system is a little weaker, your compassion is not where it should be.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Not because you don't care, but because you're overloaded, you're exhausted.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And this is not weakness, my friend.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is just your biology telling you you weren't built to carry this much pressure.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: You weren't built to carry that much emotional weight.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Even Jesus stepped away from the crowd.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's one of my favorite things in the Bible is watching Jesus take a back road or isolate himself just to breathe and to relax and to let go for a second.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, spiritual figures and leaders, they withdraw to rest and reset.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Even your spirit has limits.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: What did God do on the seventh day, right?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: When you read the ancient wisdom, the seventh day was like a rest day.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Not because God needed to rest, obviously not, but maybe God's modeling something for us in terms of our own ability to maybe put down the weight of the world, so to speak.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's a line in the message Bible where God speaks to the people, and He says this in Deuteronomy 1, 6.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: You've carried this load long enough.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's God speaking.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Some loads aren't meant to be endured forever.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Some loads are meant to be put down.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: So here are two practices to release what isn't yours.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, this is when it all went to say I want you to win by releasing.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the win isn't about just racing to the finish line.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the win, my friend, is letting go of the weight that encumbers you so that you can run the race.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Get it?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: So these two practices to release what isn't yours, I'm giving you today.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Tool one, the ownership question.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, who does this actually belong to?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm, what I'm carrying here, is it my pressure and weight, or is this someone else's?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Your truth will rise quickly when you ask that question.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to judge anyone, by the way, you just have to stop carrying their story as if it's your story.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's your work and your responsibility.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Draw the line.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Tool number two, emotional return to sender.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Say quietly, even if it's in your mind, I release what is not mine today.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: I release what is not mine today.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: I return this pressure and I return this weight with love.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: I return this pressure and I return this weight with love.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: I reclaim my energy.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: I reclaim my energy.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Say it with kindness, say it with dignity, say it with boundaries, say it because your nervous system will hear you when you say it.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it will thank you as well.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: So ask yourself, what weight am I carrying that does not belong to me?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Just name it, and naming it begins to loosen it.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Loosening is the beginning of healing, doesn't have to happen all at once, but I want you to identify it today, my friend.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is Dr.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: You're listening to the sweet spot.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: We're releasing things that don't serve us.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Today, we're identifying where do we have pressure and weight that doesn't belong to us, and we're gonna return with love to the sender.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Alright now.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow we step into a very, I call it like tender but liberating truth.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna release the old identity tomorrow.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: That version of you that helped you survive in the past, but is now too heavy to take into the future.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's for trust yourself Thursday tomorrow.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Join me there.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if today's episode touched you or touched something deep inside of you, I want you to share it with someone who is currently carrying more than they will ever admit, and you can see it.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: You don't always have to say to them, I see you carrying all of this.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: You can send them this podcast.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Alright now, and if you haven't subscribed, hit the subscribe button.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you tomorrow, beautiful soul.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: One breath at a time, one release at a time.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Much love.