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Transformation Through Action: Rebuilding Confidence in Midlife · No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women

0:00
Belinda: I remember looking in the mirror and just really not liking what I saw.
0:05
Belinda: I saw someone that was tired, old, and not living.
0:10
Belinda: I just wasn't living.
0:11
Belinda: I was existing.
0:16
Mary: For centuries, the phrase shrinking violet was used to diminish women, to suggest we were meant to be small and meek.
0:23
Mary: But in nature, violets are anything but weak.
0:26
Mary: They're resilient, beautiful, and essential to the ecosystem.
0:30
Mary: Hi, I'm Mary Rothwell, licensed therapist, and each week I sit down with women who remind us that being compared to a violet isn't an insult.
0:38
Mary: It's a testament to strength, endurance, and the power of taking up space and living by your true nature.
0:44
Mary: If you're ready to stop shrinking and start thriving, you're in the right place.
0:49
Mary: Hey Violets, welcome to the show.
0:54
Mary: There was a time in my life when I did a lot of hiking and backpacking.
0:58
Mary: Since moving to a city, I have started to ponder how to get back to doing more of that, since being in the trees is much harder than it was on my rural wooded property.
1:08
Mary: One of my favorite memories from my time backpacking was when I was on my last day of a 250-mile stretch of the Pacific Crest Trail in western United States.
1:18
Mary: My feet had bled for much of the initial hike, and I knew I would be losing a toenail before too long.
1:24
Mary: I was filthy, stinky, and hungry.
1:27
Mary: I mean, when you hike an average of 20 miles a day, it's a challenge to eat enough calories.
1:32
Mary: Oh, how I wish that was still a problem.
1:35
Mary: On that last morning, I was sitting and facing Mount Shasta in California.
1:40
Mary: I knew no one could have the view I was having without walking to where I was.
1:44
Mary: I also knew that only 600 to 800 people complete the full trail each year.
1:50
Mary: And while I hiked less than 10% of it, the stretch I hiked included 30 miles on Hat Creek Rim, which meant 100 degrees, no water source, and virtually no shade for the entire walk.
2:02
Mary: So I would assume most people doing a section hike might forego that part of the trail.
2:06
Mary: Here's the thing: we needed to think pretty much about three things on the trail: food, water, and where we would stop for the night.
2:14
Mary: There was no email to check, no text to respond to.
2:18
Mary: In fact, when I hiked the PCT, it was the year 2000, so texting was not even a thing.
2:24
Mary: No one except my fellow hiker knew where I was.
2:28
Mary: In our connected society now, that might sound dangerous or horrific.
2:32
Mary: Well, as for dangerous, with planning and common sense, the danger is minimal.
2:37
Mary: On trails like the Appalachian Trail, you're in more danger from other humans than from nature.
2:42
Mary: Driving is much more hazardous, yet many of us do it every day without a thought.
2:48
Mary: For women, embarking on an outdoor adventure, especially solo, can be 100% intimidating, and it can be challenging to find ways to expand outdoor experiences, especially if we are closer to midlife or the outdoors haven't been part of our leisure activity for most of our lives.
3:04
Mary: My guest today wants to change that.
3:07
Mary: Belinda Coger is an Australian hiker, writer, and educator who helps women rebuild confidence through practical adventure and responsible travel.
3:15
Mary: She has completed solo hikes from Australia's Red Centre to crossing Greenland's Arctic Circle, experiences that shaped her belief that confidence grows through action, not theory.
3:27
Mary: Through her platforms Soul Treader, which I love, and the House Sitting Collective, she teaches how structure, trust, and re and responsibility create genuine freedom and stability in life.
3:38
Mary: Welcome to No Shrinking Violets, Belinda.
3:41
Belinda: Thank you, Mary, and thank you for that wonderful introduction because I had no idea that you had done the PETT and that I have pegged that for 2027.
3:52
Belinda: Oh, okay.
3:54
Belinda: Oh, it's beautiful.
3:56
Belinda: Oh, I can't wait.
3:57
Belinda: Yes.
3:57
Belinda: I did a little bit of it when I did the Tahoe Rim Trail, and it was just so exciting.
4:03
Belinda: I would stop all the PCTs and I'd go, which is your favorite part so far?
4:08
Belinda: And it was just, yeah, it is, I just can't wait.
4:12
Belinda: I really can't wait.
4:13
Belinda: Yeah.
4:13
Belinda: That's great.
4:15
Mary: Well, we can compare notes.
4:17
unknown: That would be wonderful.
4:20
Mary: Okay, so I would love to start, and I do the this with all my guests.
4:24
Mary: I would love to start with flashbulb moments.
4:26
Mary: So, meaning, what are those times that stand out for you when you think back through your life that really created kind of a pivotal moment, or it was a time where you decided I'm going to make a change, or it really had kind of a unique impact on the trajectory of your life?
4:45
Belinda: So uh the year was 20 uh 2000, uh 2020, sorry, and it was right in the middle of COVID.
4:52
Belinda: And this was um, and I probably had a few others like prior to this, but this was the big one.
4:58
Belinda: Um, I didn't have a I didn't have a bad time during COVID.
5:02
Belinda: I really enjoyed having my family around me.
5:05
Belinda: It was, you know, I really enjoyed it.
5:07
Belinda: I was in my element, you know, providing food for the table.
5:11
Belinda: And I was that that's what I love doing.
5:14
Belinda: And um, but I um I was also pretty burnt out from from work, for the, you know, living a corporate life with loads of corporate travel for the for the um for the 10 years prior to this this light bulb moment.
5:29
Belinda: And I was probably drinking too much, I was unfit, I was overweight.
5:33
Belinda: Um, and I remember looking in the mirror and just really not liking what I saw.
5:39
Belinda: I saw someone that was tired, old, and not living.
5:44
Belinda: I I just wasn't living, I was existing, and that was the day that I decided to uh go on a hike.
5:51
Belinda: Well, I didn't go on a hike that day, but I I went and bought a pair of hiking boots, and I remember because it was just as COVID was um stopping, uh shutting everything down.
6:02
Belinda: And I remember driving into Brisbane, it was it was like a ghost town, and the local hiking shop had everything like almost like a closing down sale because everyone thought the world was going to end.
6:13
Belinda: Anyway, so I got a great pair of Italian hiking boots at half price.
6:18
Belinda: Um, so but then I I went on this hike uh maybe a week a week later with a meetup group, and I was uh 55 at the time.
6:28
Belinda: Everybody else in the meetup route was 70 or 80 years old.
6:32
Belinda: Oh wow, and it was it wasn't a long hike, it was maybe 12 miles or 17 kilometers, and it was down a very steep ravine and up the other side, and all the other people were all the other um my fellow hikers were fit, healthy, able, and glowing, and they just went down that ravine and up the other side.
6:55
Belinda: And here I was coming up behind and going like this.
6:59
Belinda: Like it was quite embarrassing when I look back on it now, and um, I just remember looking at how fit and happy and glowing they were, and I'm thinking, I want that, I want that in my life, and I remember, you know, you know, going home that night and just sitting down and and just so um just in such a contented space because uh because of what I'd just experienced.
7:28
Belinda: Um, I mean, I'd done a lot of hiking when I was in college and high school, uh, you know, I I grew up in New Zealand, and but I hadn't done it for 35 years, you know, maybe even 40 years.
7:40
Belinda: It was a long time since I'd um had a pair of hiking boots on, and I can remember the endorphin rush, and I just thought, okay, this is it.
7:50
Belinda: This is this is this is the change you're going to make.
7:52
Belinda: And that was it.
7:54
Belinda: Yeah.
7:55
Belinda: Wow.
7:55
Belinda: And yeah, and pretty soon after that I left the corporate world and decided to enjoy this part of my life.
8:04
Mary: That is wonderful, you know, and it's funny because so often on this show I hear people talk about they kind of lose their way or they get to this point in life, somewhere between 45 and 60, and they realize this isn't what I want.
8:21
Mary: And sometimes it's a it's a for you that was sort of going back to something familiar, but it was sort of a big change, but at the same time, something very simple.
8:30
Belinda: Yeah, exactly, exactly.
8:32
Belinda: And that that was a crazy thing.
8:34
Belinda: But um, yeah, I just I still remember some of these other people that I I was hiking with that day and just absolutely amazed at their fitness and and health, you know.
8:46
Belinda: Yeah.
8:49
Mary: So anybody that listens to this show at all knows I am a nature lover.
8:55
Mary: Um, I write about it, I kind of prescribe it to my clients.
8:59
Mary: So I'm not surprised that even in that time, you know, that 12 miles that you said, or was it 12 kilometers?
9:08
Mary: 12 miles.
9:09
Mary: 12 miles.
9:10
Mary: Yeah, thank you.
9:11
Mary: For the United States people, thank you.
9:13
Mary: Um I think that that is first of all, is gonna sound long to some people, but also I think we underestimate that something that is can be right outside our door or not that difficult to really actually access.
9:28
Mary: And we're not talking about, you know, what I said, a through hike in California.
9:32
Mary: It can be as simple as saying, I'm gonna walk three miles in the local park.
9:37
Belinda: Yes, exactly.
9:38
Belinda: Exactly.
9:39
Belinda: Because you're still around surrounded by nature and getting that endorphing rush, which is just so important.
9:45
Belinda: You know, it's it's a stress releaser, it's it, you know, lowers cortisol, it's it's it's that it it is nature, nature is your best medicine.
9:54
Belinda: It really is.
9:55
Belinda: Yeah.
9:56
Belinda: Yeah.
9:57
Mary: So I'm curious because I'm guessing listeners will be curious.
10:01
Mary: So you went from feeling like I'm not, I don't have a healthy life, I'm I'm not liking how things are going, I'm gonna take a hike, and then you decide, okay, I'm gonna leave the corporate world.
10:11
Mary: So let's talk, let's talk about sort of how that came about, how you were able to do that, and why such to many people such a drastic step.
10:23
Belinda: Okay, well, I mean, it wasn't overnight.
10:25
Belinda: It was uh, I mean, I I started to go on on day hikes over the next year, and I joined a a group of women, and with we're still great friends to this day.
10:38
Belinda: Um that and we used to go on on a hike every single week.
10:43
Belinda: And then with another couple of them, I would, you know, go out in early morning, you know, we'd do 5 a.m.
10:48
Belinda: um hikes in the in the summer and hike somewhere where we could see the sunrise, and then we'd sort of race back to work.
10:55
Belinda: Um, so I I I really got my fitness up that first week, uh, that first year, and then I decided that I would do a multi-day hike.
11:06
Belinda: And my first multi-day hike was in um it was in Australia, and it was a um a beautiful, beautiful coastal hike called um the Great Ocean Walk.
11:17
Belinda: Um, it's down in Victoria, and it was just amazing.
11:21
Belinda: This was my first time doing a solo.
11:23
Belinda: It was a uh six nights, six nights, seven days, and it was just amazing, and that is what hooked me.
11:31
Belinda: And then I sort of started to um, I was kind of working for myself, so I was able to sort of slot in way more holidays and more vacation that than I would have had I been working for somebody else.
11:44
Belinda: So I was actually quite lucky in that respect.
11:47
Belinda: Um, plus my work was still taking me over overseas, so I, you know, I I still had a little bit of the travel, you know, uh the ability to travel.
11:58
Belinda: And um, so from there I sort of made a pact.
12:01
Belinda: I said, right, okay, I'm going to do one multi-day hike, a quarter.
12:06
Belinda: Okay, so you know, it's not a it's not a that's not something that big.
12:10
Belinda: I mean, you know, a multi-day hike can be anything from four days to two weeks.
12:14
Belinda: And um, I started to actually do a little bit more than that, and I really started, I I really got into it, and then I decided, right, I'm going, I'm going to I'm going to go a little bit further afield.
12:26
Belinda: I'm going to go to America, because as far as I'm concerned, America's got some of the best hiking in the world.
12:31
Belinda: Um, you know, you might some of your listeners might disagree, but uh I that really does, um, you know, the wilderness and all that sort of thing.
12:39
Belinda: Um, so I um I did that, and then and then a couple of years uh about a year or so later, I I then decided, you know, I think I can I think I can start to do a lot of this.
12:56
Belinda: I wanted to start my blog.
12:58
Belinda: I wanted to help other other um females, you know, get out and and and hike safely.
13:05
Belinda: No, this is how you do it.
13:07
Belinda: Um, this is what you need to do because I just felt that so many women my age were saying, aren't you scared?
13:14
Belinda: Oh my god, I wish I could do that.
13:16
Belinda: And you know, there were all these sorts of questions.
13:18
Belinda: And I thought, right, okay, I'll start the blog.
13:21
Belinda: So I started the blog and then it just grew from that.
13:25
Belinda: I I decided that I would take, I would uh take about six months um off and and just go on an extended hiking journey.
13:36
Belinda: And I did that um throughout Europe, and that's when I did the Greenland hike, and it was just after that I just thought, you know, I can do this.
13:47
Belinda: I don't need to work anymore.
13:48
Belinda: I can do this on my own.
13:50
Belinda: What actually um fueled that was on one of my hikes, I went was um on the bus to Hadrian's Wall, which is the uh hike along across across Britain along Hadrian's Wall, the you know, the the very old, old wall that the Romans built.
14:06
Belinda: And uh I met my future partner uh on that bus.
14:10
Belinda: And he had recently retired.
14:13
Belinda: So yeah, so I was egged on a little bit.
14:16
Belinda: It wasn't just my decision, it was like, you're retired.
14:19
Belinda: Oh my god, I can do that too.
14:22
Belinda: And um, yeah, and that's how it happened.
14:27
Belinda: And um, I mean, yes, you um when you do take retirement before you have your full ability to receive your you know your superannuation or you know what whatever benefits your government gives you or whatever you have in terms of your superannuation that you've saved, you do have to be quite frugal.
14:46
Belinda: And we are, and suddenly, suddenly I'm just living a completely different life.
14:52
Mary: Yeah.
14:52
Mary: Wow.
14:53
Mary: Okay, so I need to remember all the things that I want to circle back to.
14:57
Mary: The one thing though, I know that you say that action is really the beginning of creating change.
15:06
Mary: And I think you sort of alluded to it that a lot of people say, Oh, I would love to do that.
15:10
Mary: And that's about as far as they get.
15:13
Belinda: Correct.
15:13
Belinda: Yes.
15:14
Mary: So how did do you think you were motivated?
15:18
Mary: What got you sort of to just take that literally first step on that 17 kilometer hike?
15:24
Mary: Or what do you think can help other people to kind of transition from this oh I wish to I'm gonna just try?
15:34
Belinda: Um, well, I I think a lot of it came from my early, uh much earlier background when I was um in between school and uh university.
15:43
Belinda: I took some time out and went traveling um around Southeast Asia and ended up what was going to be a six-month um travel ended up being almost 18 months.
15:55
Belinda: And um I ended up doing some voluntary work in India for six for six months.
16:01
Belinda: I mean, you know, it was great.
16:02
Belinda: And I did all that by myself, and this was way back before cell phones or you know, um email or anything like that.
16:09
Belinda: I mean, we corresponded with each other through letter writing.
16:13
Belinda: Um, you know, that was I mean, that was that was how it was done back then.
16:17
Belinda: My parents had absolutely no idea where I was.
16:21
Belinda: Like, you know, as far they knew that I was in India, and that was about it.
16:25
Belinda: I mean, I could have been, you know, I could have been anywhere.
16:28
Belinda: And uh, and so I'd I've always had a zest for adventure.
16:34
Belinda: I've always wanted to sort of, you know, to push the boundaries where that with where that was concerned.
16:41
Belinda: And I think once middle age came in, or once children and family, you know, that's very, very consuming.
16:48
Belinda: I loved, I loved it.
16:49
Belinda: I love being a mum.
16:51
Belinda: But when you, you know, the whole concept of that part of your life where you suddenly settle down and you're doing everything that needs to be done with children, husbands, all that sort of thing, it it can be very consuming.
17:05
Belinda: And suddenly you can look at yourself and you're a completely different person.
17:08
Belinda: And it wasn't that I didn't like the person, I just I just wanted some of my old the old blender back.
17:16
Belinda: And that that was probably the catalyst, um, more so.
17:20
Mary: So well, I've seen that theme a lot.
17:24
Mary: Women in midlife either revisiting who they were or um just deciding when all of this stuff has we've moved through it.
17:35
Mary: I know for my mom, I think this age of life was because she really we had five children in my family.
17:42
Mary: I think it was more like, okay, so my usefulness is done.
17:46
Mary: And I can't tell you how many women, which you probably wouldn't be surprised to know, not only personal friends, but women I've met through this program, have done almost more at this stage of life than before, getting PhDs, doing what you're talking about, deciding to sort of reinvent this life and just doing the things that always seem to be like, oh, I wish I could dot dot dot.
18:11
Mary: And then we move through those responsibilities, and then it's like it opens up into all of this possibility if we're willing to go there.
18:19
Belinda: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
18:22
Mary: Yeah, I love that.
18:24
Mary: Um, so I think the other thing that occurs to me, because we both alluded to it, that when I did most of my hiking, there wasn't texting.
18:34
Mary: There wasn't, I mean, I think I can't remember if I had a cell phone at that point.
18:38
Mary: I don't think I'd even had a cell phone.
18:40
Mary: But I almost think that being more connected and having more things like that social media and awareness of what's happening in the world, I believe it's made us more fearful to do these kinds of things.
18:53
Belinda: I think so too.
18:54
Belinda: Um, and but on the flip side, it can be very inspiring as well, but it also in a dangerous way, because I see a lot of these beautiful hikes all over the world.
19:05
Belinda: And, you know, you've got a lot of people sort of saying, Oh, I'm going to I'm going to do Everest Base Camp.
19:10
Belinda: It's my very first hike I've ever done.
19:13
Belinda: What sort of shoes should I wear?
19:15
Belinda: Like, you know, I see those kind of questions all the time.
19:18
Belinda: So uh look, it should be inspiring.
19:22
Belinda: Um, and I I suppose it depends on what the algorithm gives you in your feed.
19:27
Belinda: You know, it's really interesting how I suddenly look at a few things like the political issues which are happening in the UK at the moment, and suddenly my whole feed's full of their political issues.
19:38
Belinda: Or, you know, I I told you the other day that I'm growing my gray, gray hair out.
19:42
Belinda: Well, I yesterday all of my feed was all about products for growing gray hair out and and and what you need to say to your hairdresser.
19:51
Belinda: And I'm just like, I didn't even ask you for this.
19:53
Belinda: So, you know, I think if you are fearful, uh it will come through on your algorithm.
20:00
Belinda: I I really do think so.
20:02
Belinda: I uh for some reason it it doesn't even listen to you, it knows what you're thinking.
20:06
Belinda: Yeah.
20:08
Mary: Yeah.
20:09
Mary: Well, and I think what I talk about a lot is how to access nature because what we're talking about is literally a bridge too far for people, especially in the beginning.
20:19
Mary: Um so I would love you to share about what it feels like to be out there for several days.
20:27
Mary: What do you love about it?
20:28
Mary: And what would you like other people to be able to experience that you love?
20:34
Belinda: I think what what I what I love so much is the fact that you are totally self-sufficient or you have to be totally self-sufficient.
20:42
Belinda: Um, if you if you break yourself, if you you know, if you injure yourself, you need to be able to fix yourself up.
20:49
Belinda: And I'm not talking about a broken ankle or concussion or anything like that.
20:54
Belinda: I'm talking about, you know, a few basic things.
20:57
Belinda: You need to know how to, you know, what to do if you get bitten by a snake.
21:01
Belinda: You need to know, you know, what what happens if you do um, you know, fall over and sprain your wrist.
21:07
Belinda: What do you need to do?
21:08
Belinda: What do you need to do if you break your collarbone?
21:10
Belinda: Because yes, you can push the emergency beacon button, but you know, you might not be able to for any number of reasons.
21:19
Belinda: Um just having a an idea about my body.
21:25
Belinda: Is it hungry?
21:26
Belinda: Is it cold?
21:27
Belinda: Is it thirsty?
21:28
Belinda: Are my electrolytes high, you know, low or high, or you know, what what's happening in my body?
21:34
Belinda: Um, am I in a safe place because of how I'm feeling?
21:38
Belinda: Um I've I've actually written a book on health, safety, and hygiene on the trail, where I go right into um all the all the all the bad things that can happen and what you need to know.
21:50
Belinda: And but then I go into all the good things that can happen as well.
21:53
Belinda: Because when you're confident with all of the things that can and can go wrong and you know You're doing um the good things are just amplified, and when I'm saying the bad things, it's probably a very poor choice of words.
22:10
Belinda: Um, but you you know, I'm talking about having enough water, being being mindful of heat and heat and cold um illnesses and uh all sorts and and keeping your calorie intake up.
22:24
Belinda: I mean, you know, I love that when you get hike of hunger and you know, suddenly you've you've got pounds dropping off your it's just amazing.
22:32
Belinda: I love that.
22:33
Belinda: I love losing weight on the trail.
22:35
Belinda: Okay, I love losing, I love losing weight on the trail.
22:37
Belinda: It's so easy.
22:39
Belinda: It's just like it's just like going to the, you know, it's just like having a diet.
22:44
Belinda: I can I can literally lose pounds on a two-week trail.
22:47
Belinda: And then a week later I seem to put them all on again, but we won't go there.
22:52
Belinda: Um, and I also like the ability to be able to not only fix your gear up as well, yeah.
22:58
Belinda: You know, you break a pole or you, you know, you rip your tent or something like that.
23:03
Belinda: You still need to have shelter and you need to be able to, you know, turn into a little bit of a MacGyver sometimes.
23:09
Belinda: And that's kind of fun, you know.
23:11
Belinda: So I think I and and so from all of that is pushing your yourself to your boundaries, and and that just gives you that uh it gives you it actually puts you on a high.
23:24
Belinda: It puts me on a bit of a high, actually, to be able to do that.
23:28
Belinda: Yes, I've done it.
23:29
Belinda: Oh my gosh, yes.
23:30
Belinda: Yeah, yeah.
23:33
Mary: Yeah, and you know, to go back to what you tend to say, doing something is what gives you the confidence, but fear is usually the barrier.
23:41
Mary: And so I love that you're talking about just educate yourself, start with small things and educate yourself.
23:49
Mary: Um, because when I did my hiking, it was my partner at the time, had a lot of experience.
23:55
Mary: And so I didn't have to worry about a whole lot, you know, like even on what I mentioned, that section of the PCT that was 100 degrees and 30 miles with no shade and no water source, he carried a lot of the extra water.
24:09
Mary: And, you know, so there was a lot that I didn't have to learn, which I sort of regret that now.
24:13
Mary: Like I wish I had been a little more self-sufficient.
24:16
Mary: But within your mind, it really is it's kind of like sports psychology because there are times where you're like, I can't do this.
24:25
Mary: Like when I would wake up and my socks were stuck to my feet because my feet were bleeding.
24:29
Mary: You know, it's but once you start walking and you you do things like duct tape your feet, which you would never have never think to do in normal life, but it's also having what you need, like you talk about.
24:43
Mary: And I did look at your webpage, what a wealth of information you offer people.
24:48
Belinda: Yeah, thank you.
24:49
Belinda: Yeah.
24:50
Belinda: Um, I mean, it is, and you know, and I think the other thing is I really like the science behind things.
24:56
Belinda: Like people say, oh, it's a moisture wicking top.
24:59
Belinda: They would have no idea what a moisture wicking top is, but because my corporate background actually put me in a man in the manufacturing space, I love understanding what moisture wicking fabric does.
25:13
Belinda: And it actually really is um fabric that acts like little a little sponge on your body and channels sweat away from you.
25:21
Belinda: It really does.
25:22
Belinda: And um, so I find I find performance fabrics and how they work really, really interesting.
25:29
Belinda: And I and I love explaining the why, you know, the why of things.
25:34
Belinda: I find that really fascinating.
25:36
Belinda: So yeah.
25:38
Mary: Well, and you know, cotton, wearing 100% cotton in certain situations is not the safest thing.
25:45
Mary: You know, we think just grab the 100% cotton t-shirt and and set out with half a bottle of water and no snacks.
25:52
Mary: And I doesn't matter how long I'm walking, I have a snack.
25:56
Mary: I have I have at least a full bottle of water because you don't know.
26:00
Mary: And it's kind of like what I the point I made in the intro.
26:03
Mary: We don't think about the danger of driving, but every day we hear about car accidents.
26:09
Mary: So, you know, I think it's sort of that we have we make space to accommodate the quote danger of everyday life.
26:15
Mary: But when we think about this next thing or doing this thing that, you know, people might listening to you might be like, I could never do that.
26:23
Mary: Yeah, it just seems like such a hard thing to access.
26:27
Mary: So, you know, you talked about something really important.
26:30
Mary: You started off with a meetup.
26:32
Mary: So other people were there, yeah.
26:34
Mary: You they were an inspiration.
26:36
Mary: Um, so if somebody is feeling this, I want to access nature more.
26:41
Mary: I would love to start doing this.
26:42
Mary: Absolutely.
26:43
Mary: Yeah.
26:43
Mary: Talk a little bit about what are some steps, and then if they think, okay, what could my first solo walk be?
26:49
Mary: What are some of your favorites?
26:51
Belinda: Yeah.
26:52
Belinda: Okay, so uh if somebody is wanting to get into walking, it is, I I think it's extremely important to meet a like-minded group.
27:00
Belinda: And it's and that is so easy to find now, whether it'll be on Facebook or meetup groups.
27:06
Belinda: And the hiking community is so inclusive.
27:10
Belinda: I mean, it doesn't matter if you're, you know, if you're fat or thin, or I don't know if I'm supposed to use those words.
27:17
Belinda: Um, but you know, it doesn't matter if you're larger or smaller, or you know, it it really doesn't matter.
27:23
Belinda: Um, it it but everybody's there to help each other.
27:27
Belinda: It is just such a lovely community.
27:29
Belinda: And I find that worldwide that it's it's it's very good.
27:33
Belinda: And I learned so much from that first year of um hiking with experienced hikers and just learning all sorts of things, like you know, um like snakes, weather patterns, what what I should be eating, drinking, all sorts of things, and just ask questions.
27:50
Belinda: The more questions you ask, other hikers are more than happy to give you as much information as you need.
27:56
Belinda: And it's one of those sports where you are literally walking along the trail with other people.
28:01
Belinda: There's not much else to do but talk.
28:03
Belinda: So make the most of it.
28:06
Belinda: And then with my uh first multi-day hike, I just chose an easier one.
28:11
Belinda: And I also chose one where there were exit points um throughout the hike.
28:17
Belinda: So if anything went, you know, pear-shaped, I would be able to get off easily.
28:24
Belinda: Um, so that's what I did.
28:26
Belinda: And I and I didn't choose one which was very uh, you know, the elevation, it wasn't an overly difficult hike, you know.
28:34
Belinda: Uh, and I'm actually going to do it again with a few friends of mine who have never done one.
28:39
Belinda: So it's it was just so beautiful.
28:42
Belinda: And I think that that's really important.
28:43
Belinda: Um, there's a wealth of information out there, and I also have a lot of information as well on, you know, what you need to pack and why you need to pack it.
28:52
Belinda: Why do you need, you know, certain things?
28:56
Belinda: You need to take certain things in your kit.
28:58
Belinda: Why is that little tube which is in your tent pack bag?
29:02
Belinda: Why is that so important?
29:03
Belinda: Well, it will fix a broken tent pole if you ever have a broken tent pole, which I did on my second ever night on the multi-day hike.
29:11
Belinda: So um yeah, I just it's it's not a difficult sport to get information about.
29:19
Belinda: And um, yeah.
29:22
Mary: Well, and I like the goal setting.
29:23
Mary: So you set out on your first solo hike, not saying I'm going to hike this entire thing.
29:29
Mary: That was ultimately your goal, but you had that sort of this the fail-safe, sort of like, okay, well, here are some spots that I can exit if if it's not working out.
29:41
Mary: And it was close, unlike the Pacific Crest Terrail or here the Continental Divide Trail, they're not really close to a lot of civilization.
29:50
Mary: And so you had, you know, that sort of safety net where if you had to get off and get assistance, you were able to.
29:57
Mary: And I love that you build that into the plan.
30:00
Belinda: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
30:01
Belinda: And, you know, I think really you you do have to give yourself grace as well.
30:06
Belinda: There's times when I have had to get off the trail for certain reasons, and you can't beat yourself up about it because, you know, sometimes you just, you know, you might be too sick, too tired, the weather might be too bad, or something else might happen.
30:21
Belinda: And that is okay.
30:23
Belinda: You know, it's the great thing about it is it's it's there's it's not a race, you're not racing anybody.
30:30
Belinda: Um, you there's there's you don't have to prove anything on the trail, and that's the beauty, beauty of it.
30:36
Belinda: And so it's it's brilliant, isn't it?
30:40
Mary: Yeah, and you can you can walk a short way and sit and rest and then get up and walk a short way.
30:45
Mary: You yeah, it's not a race, and it's really too to experience where you are because exactly you see things that people can't see unless they are walking there, which uh to me is so cool too.
31:00
Belinda: I know, yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:02
Belinda: Just when you said about, you know, how you were looking out over a view, and you know, there was no nobody else would see that unless they were on that particular part of the trail.
31:10
Belinda: And it sort of gives you that, oh, you know, I'm so special kind of vibe, doesn't it?
31:16
Mary: Oh, yeah.
31:16
Mary: And I actually access that feeling later, like in my professional life.
31:20
Mary: If I was up against something difficult, I would think, I hiked over 200 miles and I got to sit and look at Mount Shasta.
31:28
Mary: Yes.
31:29
Mary: You know, and I think it's those, like that's that's part of that confidence that it it sort of gets itself into all areas of your life because you've done something that first of all, most people would just dismiss.
31:42
Belinda: Yeah, yeah.
31:43
Mary: Um, and the other thing that I would like to ask you about, because I think we can also think, oh, well, I'm not fit enough.
31:49
Mary: She's probably more fit than me.
31:51
Mary: So you've talked about lipidema, correct?
31:55
Mary: Can you tell us what that is?
31:57
Mary: And you've talked about this before.
32:00
Mary: Tell us a little about that.
32:01
Mary: And is that something that you've had to deal with in your life?
32:06
Belinda: Yes.
32:06
Belinda: So I have um lipodema in my uh in my thighs and buttocks, and it is and my well, actually, my whole legs, and it just basically what it is, it's an increase of fat deposits, uh, and your legs feel and there's it a part of it is very bad circulation of your lymph system as well.
32:28
Belinda: So I have to manually drain my legs, and it just makes your legs extremely heavy.
32:36
Belinda: So um it's like you're trying to walk sometimes with little weight things on your ankles, and and that can be very difficult.
32:45
Belinda: Um, but basically, when I manage to do a hike, it's even more proof to myself that I can act, I can do it.
32:54
Belinda: Um and it unfortunately it affects like one in nine women, so worldwide is it and increasing.
33:01
Belinda: And I think I think it's a lot to do with our genetically modified diet that we are all subject to now, um, because it really wasn't an issue, you know, back in my grandmother, grandmother's day.
33:16
Belinda: Um, not that I'm aware of anyway.
33:17
Belinda: I might I could be I could be wrong.
33:19
Belinda: And um, so it's just one of those things, it it just makes um walking sometimes extremely heavy.
33:27
Belinda: And I do have short legs too, which doesn't help.
33:30
Belinda: So when I am trying to sort of get over a fallen tree, sometimes I look like a little toddler trying to get trying to get over it.
33:37
Belinda: Um, but yes, um, it's just something that I I kind of don't even really think about it anymore.
33:45
Belinda: It's just it's just something that I know that um it would be easier if I didn't have my legs weren't so heavy.
33:54
Belinda: But yeah.
33:56
Mary: Well, and I think what it shows is that there's going to always be something that you can say, well, because I have this thing going on, I can't do this thing.
34:07
Mary: And again, most things there's a continuum of success that it doesn't again have to be a through hike.
34:16
Mary: But yeah, if you can walk from one bench to the next as a starting point in your park, yeah, you know, yeah, exactly.
34:23
Mary: That's doing the thing, it's just doing it at a different level, and you can always have the next, you know, the next thing that you want to attain.
34:32
Belinda: Yeah, absolutely.
34:34
Belinda: For anyone starting out, you know, just give yourself grace.
34:38
Belinda: That's I think that's the most important thing because if you don't, you can actually set yourself up for failure.
34:44
Belinda: And this is anything in life, not just going on a hike.
34:47
Belinda: And and and that's why a lot of people sort of, you know, throw the towel in way before they should.
34:53
Belinda: And, you know, sometimes that can be quite sad.
34:55
Belinda: Well, it can be quite sad for a stop.
34:57
Belinda: But yeah.
34:59
Mary: And I don't know anyone, even very experienced hikers, who haven't had a time where either there was a weird injury or an illness or something that made them take, you know, what you call a zero day or two zero days, where you just get off the trail and you chill out and you eat lots of pizza and you know, you rest and you recover.
35:18
Belinda: Yeah.
35:19
Mary: So yeah.
35:20
Belinda: Yeah, exactly.
35:22
Mary: Okay, so I'm gonna ask one more thing.
35:24
Mary: This is a little bit of a tangent, but I'm so curious about the house sitting.
35:28
Mary: So tell us a little bit about that and how did that come about?
35:32
Mary: Because I totally want to do this.
35:35
Belinda: So when I was uh when I met my future partner on the Hadrian's Wall hike, um, you know, that was the moment that I said, um, ooh, I think we can do this full time.
35:47
Belinda: Uh all the children have left, left school, all in university or you know, finished, and um, between us we have six.
35:55
Belinda: And we're just like, well, let's enjoy life, you know, let's enjoy life before grand grandparenthood beckons.
36:03
Belinda: Anyway, so we um we know we started to travel around and you know, we and as I said, we're doing it quite frugally.
36:10
Belinda: And then I suddenly thought, like, we are spending so much money on hotels, and then for some reason, oh yes, social media.
36:18
Belinda: You know how you think you think about something on social media, and suddenly all this information about house sitting came up on my phone.
36:24
Belinda: Oh, that's very convenient.
36:26
Belinda: Sometimes that's good, right?
36:28
Belinda: Yeah, thank you, Meta.
36:29
Belinda: And um, so we started to house it.
36:32
Belinda: Now, what is house-sitting?
36:33
Belinda: House sitting is when you go into somebody else's home while they go on vacation and you look after their pets, whether it be a dog or a cat, or uh we've looked after rabbits before.
36:44
Belinda: Uh we've just gone and looked after somebody's chickens, which is great.
36:48
Belinda: All we had to do is feed the chickens and collect the eggs, and that that was great.
36:52
Belinda: That was a gorgeous farm in Scotland.
36:54
Belinda: And and this is what house sitting is.
36:56
Belinda: And it's usually for the full duration of the time that the homeowners are away.
37:02
Belinda: After a long time of doing this, we could we realized how much money we had actually saved in accommodation.
37:09
Belinda: So it's a great way to be able to travel and travel around the world.
37:14
Belinda: We've we've done this in America, Canada, Germany, France, Spain, uh, Scotland, England, and Australia.
37:22
Belinda: So we've kind we've kind of done it all really like many on many places around the world.
37:27
Belinda: And we've also got ourselves put ourselves in places that we would never have traveled to before.
37:34
Belinda: Um, you know, when you do travel, you tend to like I'm going to Italy, so I'm going to go to Rome, I'm going to go to Milan, I'm going to go to, you know, wherever else.
37:43
Belinda: But with house sitting, you can choose obviously where you want to go, but you can stay in places that you would never have thought to go to and totally immerse yourselves in the culture.
37:54
Belinda: And this is what we've we've done.
37:57
Belinda: Um, and it's just amazing.
37:59
Belinda: Um, yes.
38:00
Belinda: So that is sitting.
38:03
Mary: Yeah, it sounds amazing.
38:05
Mary: So, do you did you build something that sort of matches people, or where would you recommend people go?
38:12
Belinda: So, I I have a course all about house sitting, which is how to write your profile and and how to get five-star reviews, because that's the most, that's the main thing.
38:22
Belinda: Uh, it's becoming so big now, it's growing at a rate of 12% per annum.
38:27
Belinda: And they're looking at house sitting as being one of the fastest growing in industries.
38:32
Belinda: And so, with something like that, then it becomes quite competitive.
38:37
Belinda: And so, my courses teach people how to get the sits and how to get the five-star reviews because that's the most important thing.
38:46
Belinda: And um, I mean, it's perfect for uh, especially female travelers, so you don't have to go put yourself in a small hotel room, and hotel rooms are expensive now, like they seem to have tripled in price in the last decade.
39:01
Belinda: Um, you know, a small airless room.
39:04
Belinda: You actually have a lovely large house.
39:06
Belinda: I mean, right now we're in a uh 300-year-old converted mill in Scotland.
39:12
Belinda: So uh it's all it's all modern inside, but from the outside, it really is the old 300-year-old stone building.
39:20
Belinda: It's just absolutely magnificent.
39:22
Belinda: And so you're not in a small hotel room, but you're also you're also in a large house, maybe with a dog where and the security, you feel so much more secure.
39:32
Belinda: I've done a lot of this by myself, and I feel far more secure um doing this than being in a you know, in a large city where I'm trying to navigate my way home from a restaurant to the hotel and being on my own.
39:45
Belinda: So yeah.
39:46
Mary: That is so cool.
39:48
Mary: So then is there a like is there typically a vehicle there for you to use?
39:53
Belinda: Um, not so much in the UK because uh the insurance here um insures the car, not uh the driver, not the car, but all throughout when we've done it in Canada and America, we've always been able to use the homeowner's car.
40:09
Belinda: Yeah.
40:09
Belinda: So what a great bonus.
40:11
Belinda: It is, it really is a bonus, and it's a great way, uh a great thing way for retirees to travel as well, because sometimes you know, traveling can chew through the through through the funds.
40:25
Belinda: Oh, yeah.
40:25
Belinda: Yeah.
40:26
Mary: Oh, I love that.
40:27
Mary: Thank you for sharing that.
40:28
Mary: Now I'm totally gonna look that up.
40:30
Mary: That's great.
40:31
Belinda: Well, I mean, and if any of your listeners are interested, I can offer a uh discount just for your listeners, which is um HS Travel, and that will give you 10% discount on all courses.
40:44
Mary: So HS Travel.
40:45
Mary: I will put that in the show notes for sure.
40:48
Belinda: Yes, a a magnificent way to travel and so much fun as well.
40:53
Mary: So thank you so much for being here.
40:55
Mary: This has been the most fun conversation.
40:57
Mary: Can you review for us what you offer and what your website is?
41:01
Mary: And then again, I will link it all in the show notes.
41:04
Belinda: Okay.
41:04
Belinda: So, first of all, if anyone is interested in how to hike and how to get into hiking, my website is soultreader.com.
41:12
Belinda: And uh I also have an uh free uh book on health, um health safety and hygiene on the trail.
41:22
Belinda: And it's an 80-page book, but and it's a free resource, but because I just think it's just so important.
41:28
Belinda: So um please, uh please get that as well if you're interested, because I I really do cover.
41:34
Belinda: I cover everything from sunburn to um you know, frostbite to you know, anything and everything.
41:40
Belinda: And if anyone is interested in house sitting, the house sitting collective uh is where you'll find all the courses.
41:47
Belinda: And there is a discount of 10%, which is HS Travel.
41:52
Mary: What great information! And seriously, I can say, as someone who has done this and read a lot of books before doing a lot of these things, you have really good resources.
42:01
Mary: And so I think it's just one more avenue to empower women to take a step to do something more adventurous.
42:08
Mary: So I totally love that.
42:10
Mary: Thank you.
42:11
Mary: Thank you, Mary.
42:13
Mary: And thanks everyone for listening.
42:15
Mary: Take some time to be in nature or do something at the edge of your comfort zone.
42:19
Mary: And if you enjoyed this episode being free of ads, please consider supporting this podcast so I can try to keep it that way.
42:26
Mary: There's a link in the show notes.
42:27
Mary: And until next time, go out into the world and be the amazing, resilient, vibrant violet that you are.