Latest / The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show / Episode 16, Season 2: Breaking Free from Fear: How to Stop Letting It Run Your Life and Ruin Your Relationships
Transcript
- 0:11Speaker 1: Welcome to the Love Dog Podcast. I'm your co host
- 0:14Speaker 1: Ryna Butcher here with our host, doctor Sarah Hinsley, the
- 0:17Speaker 1: founder and CEO of the lovedc relationship coaching services and
- 0:21Speaker 1: of course, the Love Dog Podcast. You can find her
- 0:23Speaker 1: at the lovedoc dot com and on all social media
- 0:26Speaker 1: platforms at doctor Sarah Hinsley.
- 0:29Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, what's going on.
- 0:32Speaker 3: I really enjoyed the fact that we got to ride
- 0:35Speaker 3: together today.
- 0:36Speaker 1: I got to catch up, so we got to catch
- 0:37Speaker 1: you all up on listen. Sarah and I have had
- 0:40Speaker 1: quite the morning. Okay, oh my god.
- 0:43Speaker 2: I woke up to four piles of diarrhea.
- 0:46Speaker 1: Thankfully it was not a child, but it was a dog,
- 0:47Speaker 1: which may be even worse.
- 0:49Speaker 3: Actually it was. It was wed. It was bad.
- 0:53Speaker 2: And then Sarah woke up to a sick child.
- 0:55Speaker 3: I did. My little eight year old woke up with
- 0:57Speaker 3: a fever and she just got her braces and her expander,
- 1:01Speaker 3: so her mouth is like all hurting her and then
- 1:03Speaker 3: she has this fever and throw infection. And so it
- 1:07Speaker 3: was just like no, two weeks into school and it's
- 1:12Speaker 3: everybody has the germs. Now the germs are upon us.
- 1:17Speaker 3: It's just rough, like having an elementary age kid. I mean,
- 1:20Speaker 3: of course, they get sick like less the more they grow,
- 1:23Speaker 3: Like Gabby hardly gets sick like she might get a
- 1:25Speaker 3: cold like, but that's about it, right. She's fifteen almost,
- 1:31Speaker 3: her immunities really short up from all of the preschool
- 1:34Speaker 3: and kindergarten and elementary years. But Lexi's just not quite
- 1:37Speaker 3: there yet. She's just starting third grade. And so it
- 1:42Speaker 3: doesn't matter.
- 1:42Speaker 1: You'll get through all that and guess what then you'll
- 1:44Speaker 1: be cleaning up dog shit good time.
- 1:47Speaker 3: Oh trust me, if we didn't have a doggy door,
- 1:49Speaker 3: I would be doing that a lot, because we have
- 1:52Speaker 3: just like sweet Sarge, who's some kind of a doodle mix.
- 1:55Speaker 3: I don't even know if we know exactly what Sarge is,
- 2:00Speaker 3: like a doo draw but mac my gigantic golden doodle
- 2:04Speaker 3: bowl and a China shop dog. So sweet, but he
- 2:07Speaker 3: just has no conception of his size. He's like a
- 2:10Speaker 3: delicate little flower too. I mean like tap water, you know,
- 2:14Speaker 3: like I can't drink it.
- 2:15Speaker 2: Something I do think it's something about the poodle.
- 2:18Speaker 3: Yeah, but Bitsy is she's a multi poo, so she's
- 2:21Speaker 3: half poodle, but she's.
- 2:22Speaker 2: Like she's savage though.
- 2:24Speaker 3: Yeah, she is so savage.
- 2:25Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe it's the mall too.
- 2:27Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, like maybe the mall's just
- 2:30Speaker 1: like the male poodle has a more sensitive stomach.
- 2:32Speaker 2: Because I mean, and I don't blame Sarge.
- 2:34Speaker 1: I really normally I would get so mad, but I
- 2:36Speaker 1: didn't get mad at him this morning. It was completely
- 2:38Speaker 1: my fault last night. This was not only was it
- 2:40Speaker 1: four piles of diarrhea, it was four piles of diarrhea
- 2:42Speaker 1: that had set overnight.
- 2:43Speaker 3: It was it was lovely, but Randa is taking like
- 2:48Speaker 3: a sparkling night.
- 2:49Speaker 1: I literally it spackle like. And then I like, shan't
- 2:53Speaker 1: like for an hour, guys, for an hour. I cleaned
- 2:57Speaker 1: up poop this morning. So this look is brought to you.
- 3:00Speaker 1: Today's book is brought to you by Bye dog diarrhea.
- 3:02Speaker 1: Ye bye dog diarrhea, some dry shampoo, and and.
- 3:06Speaker 3: I woke up at four thirty to use the bathroom
- 3:08Speaker 3: and then could not go back to sleep. I'm staring
- 3:11Speaker 3: at the wall. And that happens so often now lately.
- 3:14Speaker 3: It's like five am pee, you know, laid down and
- 3:17Speaker 3: boom right away because I'm like, well, I have to
- 3:19Speaker 3: get up around six to get LEXI ready for school,
- 3:23Speaker 3: and I'm committed to cooking a healthy breakfast. I'm so
- 3:26Speaker 3: proud for my kids. I just about knocked the microphone
- 3:29Speaker 3: into my face too, and I said that it's because
- 3:32Speaker 3: I've been up since four thirty. But you know, I'm
- 3:34Speaker 3: just she doesn't like school breakfast. It's trash, it's sugar
- 3:38Speaker 3: and crap, and so you know, I'm making scrambled eggs
- 3:41Speaker 3: or homemade oatmeal or you know something that I'm trying
- 3:44Speaker 3: to like. Really, I know, I'm trying so hard, and
- 3:47Speaker 3: I've packed their lunch every single day, healthy lunches. Although
- 3:51Speaker 3: Gabby's like, it's so cool that you pugged my lunch.
- 3:53Speaker 2: It's my almost fifteen year old's wrong, Gabby, it's actually
- 3:56Speaker 2: really co.
- 3:56Speaker 3: I'm just like, I'm buying her premade salads and Greek
- 3:59Speaker 3: yogurt and things that she can just throw in her
- 4:01Speaker 3: lunch box, because apparently it is uncool for your mom
- 4:04Speaker 3: to pack your lunch once you are in high school.
- 4:07Speaker 1: It's not my mom packed my lunch all thor high
- 4:09Speaker 1: school mom did look back, and I'm so thankful to
- 4:12Speaker 1: speaking of children though, and then we'll move on. But
- 4:15Speaker 1: I actually got a text from my son today that said,
- 4:20Speaker 1: and guys like, after being you know, chin deep and
- 4:24Speaker 1: shit all morning, this actually made my morning way better.
- 4:26Speaker 1: It like made my all the bad things go away.
- 4:30Speaker 1: He sent me a text out of the blue, like
- 4:33Speaker 1: no one told him to do it that I know of,
- 4:36Speaker 1: and said, thank you mom for being the best mom ever.
- 4:40Speaker 3: Oh that would just warm my heart. That's my fourteen
- 4:44Speaker 3: year old would send that to me. And she is
- 4:46Speaker 3: sweet and we do you know she can be she
- 4:49Speaker 3: can be so sweet. But I feel like, like high school,
- 4:55Speaker 3: everything's so dramatic. Yeah, I'm like, where is this drama
- 4:58Speaker 3: coming test.
- 4:58Speaker 1: Season for her? I freshman in high school until varsity.
- 5:02Speaker 1: Each year varsity cheer into a much larger school too, Henry.
- 5:06Speaker 3: Clayrick Clay is huge. Like my entire high school was
- 5:08Speaker 3: three hundred people. Yeah wow, yeah it was really it's tiny.
- 5:11Speaker 3: So I just felt like I was in this which
- 5:14Speaker 3: I didn't love. I did not like it at all
- 5:15Speaker 3: because it was just everybody needed to be all flower there,
- 5:18Speaker 3: you know, everybody. You know, there was not a lot
- 5:21Speaker 3: of friends to choose from, and then you know in
- 5:23Speaker 3: high school, girls like switch alliances and friendships and but
- 5:26Speaker 3: it's brutal at Gabby School. It's like she knows she
- 5:29Speaker 3: can be a wallflower, right and I think her biggest
- 5:33Speaker 3: stresser right now. She's the school so big she doesn't
- 5:36Speaker 3: know where she's going. It's like two floors, and so
- 5:38Speaker 3: she's just like, I just get lost a lot. Still,
- 5:41Speaker 3: like everything looks the same, and you know they have
- 5:44Speaker 3: a day and B day, so it's not like she
- 5:46Speaker 3: has the same classes every day.
- 5:48Speaker 2: That is confused.
- 5:49Speaker 3: It is confusing. I don't really love block scheduling, but
- 5:52Speaker 3: it is what it is. But she can be really
- 5:55Speaker 3: sweet when we're connecting over boys or clothes or like
- 5:59Speaker 3: things that inter her. But but also then it's like
- 6:03Speaker 3: everything's like a huge deal, like I don't have the
- 6:05Speaker 3: hoodie that I need. Oh my gosh, what am I
- 6:08Speaker 3: gonna do? You don't deal with that with boys, No,
- 6:12Speaker 3: you don't see that's the thing my steps on. You
- 6:15Speaker 3: could literally dress him in absolutely anything and he does not.
- 6:17Speaker 1: Care, very still doesn't care. So but so we've had
- 6:22Speaker 1: quite the interesting morning and that. But that's not what
- 6:27Speaker 1: this episode is about.
- 6:28Speaker 3: It's not.
- 6:29Speaker 2: This episode is about fear, fear and living in fear
- 6:33Speaker 2: and how to release.
- 6:35Speaker 3: Fear and how fear can ruin your relationship, or it
- 6:41Speaker 3: can keep you stuck in a really terrible relationship. I
- 6:44Speaker 3: just feel like it is the principality that I hear
- 6:48Speaker 3: most often in my practice. Yeah, you know, well, And
- 6:52Speaker 3: one of the things I hear so much, which blows
- 6:54Speaker 3: my mind, honestly, is like, well, my partner's cheated on
- 6:58Speaker 3: me a bunch, and so like, how do I ever
- 7:01Speaker 3: know if they're not cheating on me? I'm always afraid
- 7:03Speaker 3: every day and I'm like, okay, well they're showing you
- 7:05Speaker 3: a pattern of who they are. So at this point,
- 7:08Speaker 3: do you really want to be in a relationship where
- 7:10Speaker 3: you have to constantly wonder what someone is doing behind
- 7:13Speaker 3: your back. I would not want to live that way,
- 7:15Speaker 3: because I did live that way. So I have personal
- 7:18Speaker 3: experience living that way for like ten full years, and
- 7:23Speaker 3: it wrecked my nervous system wrecked it.
- 7:26Speaker 1: And I'll mention it ends up wrecking like all the
- 7:29Speaker 1: other relationships in it.
- 7:31Speaker 2: It does because you become so.
- 7:32Speaker 1: Hyper fixated on the fear of losing that person or
- 7:36Speaker 1: them cheating on you that you.
- 7:40Speaker 2: Just kind of forget what's really important.
- 7:42Speaker 3: You do forget what's really important, and then your friends
- 7:45Speaker 3: are like, I don't want to hear about this anymore.
- 7:47Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I.
- 7:48Speaker 3: Don't want to hear about how your partner did this
- 7:52Speaker 3: awful thing when they've done twenty five million awful things right.
- 7:55Speaker 3: And I have so many clients specifically in my group,
- 7:59Speaker 3: less one one, but more specifically in my group that
- 8:02Speaker 3: are just like, well, how do I forgive when they
- 8:03Speaker 3: haven't even taken accountability? And I'm like, you can't. You
- 8:08Speaker 3: can forgive, but you can't be in relationship with them
- 8:12Speaker 3: without them taking accountability and working towards repair. You know,
- 8:16Speaker 3: love is unconditional. Being in relationships are conditional, and they
- 8:20Speaker 3: should be absolutely conditional. We can love someone from afar
- 8:25Speaker 3: while we protect ourselves and heal ourselves and.
- 8:27Speaker 1: Move on from and give the forgiveness mostly for yourself.
- 8:30Speaker 3: Yeah, for yourself for staying in something that was way
- 8:33Speaker 3: less than you deserved. So I hear so much fear around,
- 8:37Speaker 3: you know, specifically when I talk about the mindset work, well,
- 8:40Speaker 3: how do I get rid of the what if? What
- 8:42Speaker 3: if they're cheating? What if they're doing this, what if
- 8:44Speaker 3: they're doing that? Well, you're really in fear, and becoming
- 8:49Speaker 3: secure takes you from what if to even if and
- 8:52Speaker 3: so one, when you really reach your security, you're gonna
- 8:56Speaker 3: not be turned on by that anymore. You're not going
- 9:00Speaker 3: to feel the need to compete with these other women
- 9:03Speaker 3: that he talks to or dms or whatever. You're going
- 9:06Speaker 3: to be like, no, I know my worth and this
- 9:08Speaker 3: doesn't work for me anymore. Like I'm so above this,
- 9:11Speaker 3: this is so below me that I Am not going
- 9:15Speaker 3: to do it anymore. But that's not the only place
- 9:17Speaker 3: I see fear show up. I see fear show up
- 9:19Speaker 3: when there are other difficult things in the relationship and
- 9:23Speaker 3: we have someone who has some degree of attachment anxiety,
- 9:27Speaker 3: And I would say, you know, obviously for the fearful avoidance,
- 9:31Speaker 3: this is a problem as well. So anxious preoccupies and
- 9:34Speaker 3: fearful avoidance, I would say both kind of equally share this.
- 9:39Speaker 2: Fearful avoidance.
- 9:39Speaker 3: Yeah, it's actually in the name fear of betrayal being
- 9:45Speaker 3: the biggest fear, and so they're just constantly navigating this
- 9:49Speaker 3: fear that the relationship isn't going to work out. And
- 9:53Speaker 3: sometimes they're actually in a fairly decent relationship with someone
- 9:57Speaker 3: who's closer to secure, they'll create right, they're creating betrayals
- 10:05Speaker 3: out of things that really aren't betrayals. Like I had
- 10:08Speaker 3: a perfect example of this the other day. We had
- 10:11Speaker 3: an FA and a DA couple, and the FA was
- 10:15Speaker 3: just picking apart the words of the DA, like no,
- 10:20Speaker 3: you need to say it like this instead of like that.
- 10:23Speaker 3: And then the DA is like, but that's what I said,
- 10:24Speaker 3: and he's like, no, you didn't. You said it like this.
- 10:28Speaker 3: And honestly, I hear that all the time constantly from
- 10:31Speaker 3: like an F a DA couple, where like an FA
- 10:35Speaker 3: may be like running out the door and says okay,
- 10:38Speaker 3: love ya, and then the FA is like, no, I
- 10:41Speaker 3: need you to say I love you, not love ya,
- 10:45Speaker 3: And so the DA is like I did say I
- 10:47Speaker 3: love you. And they're like, no, you said love ya. Wow,
- 10:49Speaker 3: And the DA is like, but I meant I love you.
- 10:52Speaker 3: Like to me, it doesn't mean anything different, and but
- 10:54Speaker 3: to the FA, it means something so much different. Right,
- 10:58Speaker 3: And I say all the time, and you get comments
- 11:02Speaker 3: about it, I'm gonna try to be more self aware
- 11:04Speaker 3: about that. I preach self awareness. It's a bad habit. Listen, like,
- 11:09Speaker 3: I'm trying to gain your approval right right, right right,
- 11:12Speaker 3: And okay, I say that a lot so back to
- 11:15Speaker 3: what I was talking about. The FA is just picking
- 11:19Speaker 3: apart the words, whereas the DA is like looking at
- 11:22Speaker 3: the grander meaning of what I said. And that's very
- 11:26Speaker 3: FA and DA like to do. And so that is
- 11:31Speaker 3: an instance, honestly of when it's that small of a
- 11:36Speaker 3: fearful avoidant just trying to find a betrayal because their lens,
- 11:43Speaker 3: each attachment style has a filter and everything that their
- 11:46Speaker 3: partner says and does runs through that attachment filter. So
- 11:50Speaker 3: the apiece is abandonment. I'm going to be abandoned. I
- 11:53Speaker 3: sense any way in which this relationship is not one
- 11:55Speaker 3: hundred percent stable and they are not falling all over me.
- 11:58Speaker 3: I have fear abandonment, and I view their act as
- 12:00Speaker 3: potential abandonment. Theases betrayal. Everything they say and do. They
- 12:04Speaker 3: have the absolute worst intentions. They don't mean what they
- 12:07Speaker 3: say or whatever they said. They did it to hurt me.
- 12:11Speaker 3: That is it's such a problem.
- 12:13Speaker 2: I'm still guilty of it.
- 12:14Speaker 3: Yeah. And then the DAS is defectiveness. Everything you say
- 12:20Speaker 3: to me or do, you're trying to tell me that
- 12:22Speaker 3: I failed you. You're criticizing me, you're attacking me. That's
- 12:25Speaker 3: why they can't take any criticism, right, and I just
- 12:29Speaker 3: did it again. Right, I'm gonna have to unlearn this. Yeah,
- 12:34Speaker 3: you need to go back to speech class. Maybe I
- 12:36Speaker 3: don't know.
- 12:36Speaker 1: Yeah, there are some classes out there for you know,
- 12:39Speaker 1: in terms of I saw something the other day that's
- 12:41Speaker 1: completely off the subject, but it said like it came
- 12:44Speaker 1: from a person who actually like does speaking engagements for
- 12:47Speaker 1: a living. And there are certain phrases that will ruin
- 12:52Speaker 1: you know, any speaking engagement, right is one of them. Yes,
- 12:56Speaker 1: you know is another.
- 12:59Speaker 3: Okay, And I'm guilty of a lot of those. I
- 13:02Speaker 3: think I'm guilty of those in casual conversation more than
- 13:06Speaker 3: when I do a professional talk. If I do a
- 13:07Speaker 3: professional talk, this doesn't come out.
- 13:09Speaker 2: And I think, you know, at the end of the day,
- 13:10Speaker 2: this is a casual conversation.
- 13:12Speaker 1: Guys, like we're in here. We do not script this.
- 13:15Speaker 1: We don't script this in any way.
- 13:18Speaker 3: We don't even decide what we're gonna make the podcast
- 13:20Speaker 3: about until we are on the way to the podcast.
- 13:23Speaker 1: And we're like, Okay, what are we going to talk
- 13:24Speaker 1: about today? And we and it's usually driven by things
- 13:27Speaker 1: maybe we've been through that week or something.
- 13:30Speaker 3: Something that happened in the practice or yeah, a client
- 13:33Speaker 3: that I've had that's inspired something that I that I
- 13:36Speaker 3: see very commonly, and so I try to make it
- 13:40Speaker 3: about yes, what my brain has been thinking about recently.
- 13:43Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's healthy for me to do that, and
- 13:45Speaker 1: it's you know, it's really about just the two of
- 13:48Speaker 1: us showing up authentic, and it gets easier, like I can.
- 13:53Speaker 1: I've actually gone back and watched some of our earlier episodes,
- 13:58Speaker 1: and I know that I have gotten so much more
- 14:03Speaker 1: comfortable behind this mic because right, right, But I've gotten
- 14:09Speaker 1: so much more comfortable because I would I would get
- 14:13Speaker 1: really nervous.
- 14:14Speaker 2: And then not and not yeah, and not really know
- 14:17Speaker 2: how to.
- 14:20Speaker 1: Use my voice and use the way that I would
- 14:23Speaker 1: just normally talk as just like the most authentic rain
- 14:28Speaker 1: of And so I've had to kind of learn how
- 14:31Speaker 1: to melt into that. And it's a learning process. I mean,
- 14:34Speaker 1: we're learning.
- 14:36Speaker 3: And when we like you say uh huh or right
- 14:39Speaker 3: too much, we know we know we do Okay, we're
- 14:41Speaker 3: flawed humans, but we ain't perfect. We're not perfect, and
- 14:44Speaker 3: we're over you're trying to be. We're not trying to be.
- 14:47Speaker 3: That's we're going to be authentic. And if I say, right,
- 14:49Speaker 3: too much. It's just part of part of who I am,
- 14:52Speaker 3: so what Ebbsy's. But fear does show up so much
- 14:56Speaker 3: in people's lives. I know my personal journey of fear
- 15:00Speaker 3: was a very difficult one. It would be things that
- 15:04Speaker 3: consumed me every moment of every day. I had level
- 15:10Speaker 3: ten anxiety, a lot of anxiety around my health and
- 15:13Speaker 3: my children's health, in my children's well being. I had
- 15:18Speaker 3: a very traumatic birth with my daughter. I had a
- 15:21Speaker 3: very bad a couple very bad birth complications that I
- 15:29Speaker 3: think really traumatized me too. And so I think I've
- 15:36Speaker 3: always had some health anxiety. I don't anymore now. I'm
- 15:39Speaker 3: just like, if I have something wrong with me, like
- 15:41Speaker 3: it's gonna get worse and then I'll know and then
- 15:43Speaker 3: I'll go to the doctor. But I'm just I'm neutral
- 15:46Speaker 3: about stuff because when you've had a lot of trauma,
- 15:49Speaker 3: your body is forever a little wonky. And we've talked
- 15:52Speaker 3: about that signals kind of learned to fire differently. But
- 15:57Speaker 3: I just have this viewpoint now that if some it's
- 16:00Speaker 3: something bad, it's just it's gonna get worse.
- 16:02Speaker 2: And then I'll then I'll go get it checked out,
- 16:03Speaker 2: all right and well, and you know.
- 16:05Speaker 1: I mean we were talking about this on the way here,
- 16:08Speaker 1: even in you know, the business and watching the business
- 16:11Speaker 1: grow and seeing how, you know, the reach that we've
- 16:15Speaker 1: been able to create within the business. And then you know,
- 16:18Speaker 1: over the summer we've had quite a bit of fluctuation.
- 16:22Speaker 1: And I say fluctuation but like dip, right, We've had
- 16:24Speaker 1: some dips in ourselves. And you know, I can easily
- 16:31Speaker 1: I Sarah is the face, the brains, and everything that
- 16:37Speaker 1: is is the love doc and then everything behind the
- 16:41Speaker 1: scenes is Raina.
- 16:43Speaker 2: And so it's like we're in this together.
- 16:47Speaker 1: And occasionally fear will creep in where because I've said
- 16:52Speaker 1: it once, I'll say it again. I've lived off raymon
- 16:55Speaker 1: noodles in a prayer before, like I've been flat ass broken.
- 16:58Speaker 3: Oh maybe broken in a joke.
- 17:01Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know, just recently, I think it was
- 17:04Speaker 1: just a few days ago, you know, I had some
- 17:06Speaker 1: fear based thoughts of like what if this is Like
- 17:09Speaker 1: what if it's run its course? Like what if we've
- 17:11Speaker 1: like what if we've done all the audience right, Like
- 17:14Speaker 1: what if we've done all we haven't even crashed the
- 17:16Speaker 1: surta no, And I'm.
- 17:18Speaker 2: Like that's it.
- 17:19Speaker 1: Well, it's such a narrow viewpoint, and it not only
- 17:23Speaker 1: discounts your value and my value, but it discounts the value.
- 17:28Speaker 2: Of the business and the mission.
- 17:30Speaker 3: And that's what I always you know, fear is it's
- 17:34Speaker 3: the opposite of faith first face right, And that's really
- 17:37Speaker 3: important to understand. You cannot be in fear and have
- 17:41Speaker 3: faith at the same time. And I think that's why
- 17:45Speaker 3: the devil loves to use fear, because he knows it
- 17:48Speaker 3: rips you out of the one thing that connects you
- 17:51Speaker 3: to God, which is faith. And so the way that
- 17:54Speaker 3: I handle fear now is, of course I am very
- 17:58Speaker 3: observant of my thoughts, and when fear creeps in, I
- 18:01Speaker 3: rebuke it in Jesus name. I won't participate no Satan,
- 18:05Speaker 3: not today man, and read today in Jesus' name, and
- 18:09Speaker 3: I repent for it, and I bring God in and
- 18:12Speaker 3: I ask God to help me reframe this, to help me,
- 18:15Speaker 3: because there has actually been scientific research conducted that shows
- 18:19Speaker 3: that anxiety and gratitude cannot live in the brain at
- 18:21Speaker 3: the same time. So if you are in gratitude, you
- 18:23Speaker 3: cannot be feeling anxiety. And that is so profound because
- 18:28Speaker 3: I think that a lot of faith is in worshiping
- 18:32Speaker 3: God is gratitude. I'm always every day thank you God,
- 18:37Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, thank you for my blessings, thank you
- 18:39Speaker 3: for this abundance. I do not know why you have
- 18:41Speaker 3: chosen me, or picked me or blessed me to have
- 18:43Speaker 3: this life, but I want to be a good steward
- 18:45Speaker 3: of it, and I'm so thankful. All the glory goes
- 18:47Speaker 3: to you.
- 18:48Speaker 2: Yes and amen.
- 18:50Speaker 3: That is a place where you can't feel anxiety and fear.
- 18:55Speaker 3: So when fear creeps in, first of all, you have
- 18:58Speaker 3: to be vigilant of the thoughts of fear, and you
- 19:00Speaker 3: have to be like, oh, there it is, there's sphere
- 19:02Speaker 3: direct and I won't participate. No, you are not gonna
- 19:06Speaker 3: drag me there into that place of what if? What
- 19:09Speaker 3: if anything? Right? What if a bomb hits us all tomorrow?
- 19:13Speaker 3: Then I always say there's two roads, right, There's two roads,
- 19:18Speaker 3: especially if you're a believer. If you're a believer, there
- 19:20Speaker 3: truly is two roads. One you die, and then you're
- 19:25Speaker 3: gonna be in glory and you're gonna have no pain,
- 19:28Speaker 3: no fear, no suffering. All the veil is lifted, all
- 19:31Speaker 3: of God's promises are revealed, and you're not gonna give
- 19:34Speaker 3: a crap about what's happening on earth because you are
- 19:36Speaker 3: in your final heavenly destination, right or two, you suffer,
- 19:40Speaker 3: and I think that is what most people are afraid of,
- 19:43Speaker 3: is the suffering. But listen, if you stay close to God,
- 19:47Speaker 3: he never leaves nor forsakes you. He gives you. He
- 19:50Speaker 3: supports you through the suffering. He gives you the ability,
- 19:54Speaker 3: He gives you the strength. And I know this because
- 19:56Speaker 3: I have been on my knees literally unable to walk.
- 20:00Speaker 3: Can function in the worst of it these strength to
- 20:04Speaker 3: put one foot in front of the other, per se, right,
- 20:08Speaker 3: I mean one foot in front of the other, whatever
- 20:10Speaker 3: that looks like, even if your wheelchair bound. It's one
- 20:13Speaker 3: wheel at a time, I guess, until it gets better.
- 20:17Speaker 3: Or He allows you to gain radical acceptance of your circumstances,
- 20:24Speaker 3: and he allows you to learn and grow from your suffering.
- 20:27Speaker 3: So many people in the Bible suffered profoundly and God
- 20:33Speaker 3: redeemed their suffering in some way. Does that mean that
- 20:36Speaker 3: their suffering was like completely reversed, You know, no. If
- 20:40Speaker 3: someone is paralyzed, that might not be reversible, right, but
- 20:44Speaker 3: God will see them through the strength to carry on
- 20:47Speaker 3: in their life with this condition, whereas when we don't
- 20:51Speaker 3: have God, we're victimized. We fall victim to the devil's
- 20:55Speaker 3: self pity. We have this external locus of control where
- 20:59Speaker 3: we feel like we're just so oppressed that we have
- 21:02Speaker 3: no strength to get out of it. When God says,
- 21:04Speaker 3: I did not give you a spirit of fear, but
- 21:06Speaker 3: I gave you one of power, love and a sound mind,
- 21:09Speaker 3: he meant it. He meant it. He gives you so
- 21:14Speaker 3: much power that we don't even begin to tap into.
- 21:18Speaker 3: And I know because I've scratched the surface with it,
- 21:20Speaker 3: and my life has changed profoundly.
- 21:22Speaker 1: Fall is upon us guys here in Kentucky, and that
- 21:26Speaker 1: means chili weather. And you know what goes well with
- 21:29Speaker 1: chili weather, Cozy Earth. Their fuzzy blanket that they sent
- 21:34Speaker 1: us is awesome.
- 21:36Speaker 2: It's the bomb, so awesome.
- 21:38Speaker 1: It's somewhat weighted, but not so weighted that you feel
- 21:41Speaker 1: like claustrophobic, because I don't love a weighted blanket.
- 21:44Speaker 2: But it's like the perfect blanket to wrap up.
- 21:46Speaker 3: It's the perfect amount of pressure and it is so soft.
- 21:49Speaker 1: Yes, not to mention their sheets are wonderful. They have
- 21:52Speaker 1: a ten year warranty on their sheets a sixty day
- 21:55Speaker 1: sleep guarantee, so you can try out their sheets for
- 21:58Speaker 1: sixty days and if you don't love them, you can
- 22:00Speaker 1: send them back and get all your money back.
- 22:02Speaker 3: I cannot use any other sheets now, not at all anywhere.
- 22:05Speaker 3: I even hate hotel sheets. It's like I'm going to
- 22:07Speaker 3: pack them when I go to a hotel because we
- 22:10Speaker 3: are so spoiled. They are made from the viscous of
- 22:13Speaker 3: bamboo and somehow that creates this like organic cotton meets
- 22:19Speaker 3: pure silk feeling and I don't know how to describe
- 22:22Speaker 3: it other than that, but it is so luxurious, so soft.
- 22:26Speaker 3: They stay so cool during the evening when you are
- 22:31Speaker 3: getting into bed. It's that, you know, just bluscious like
- 22:34Speaker 3: slip into bed, you know, silky cool feeling, and it
- 22:37Speaker 3: is absolutely wonderful. So we love Cozy Earth and you
- 22:41Speaker 3: can visit their website cozyearth dot com and use code
- 22:45Speaker 3: love doc for forty percent off, which is a very
- 22:48Speaker 3: generous discount. Thank you so much for sponsoring our podcast,
- 22:51Speaker 3: Cozy Earth. Thank we love you.
- 22:53Speaker 2: Yes, go check them out. Thanks Cozy Earth.
- 22:56Speaker 3: All of these big you know speakers like Tony Robbins,
- 23:01Speaker 3: you know he always says your your perception is your reality,
- 23:04Speaker 3: and it is so true if you shift your perception
- 23:08Speaker 3: out of fear and into gratitude, or out of fear
- 23:11Speaker 3: and into the present moment, because so much fear is
- 23:14Speaker 3: future based what if? What if?
- 23:17Speaker 1: And it's a practice, you know, it's a practice that
- 23:20Speaker 1: you have to, you know, remind yourself about.
- 23:23Speaker 2: I mean again, just the other day, when you know.
- 23:25Speaker 1: Those fearful thoughts kept creeping in, and you know, I
- 23:29Speaker 1: still struggle with that scarcity mindset of like okay, well
- 23:34Speaker 1: or a worthy minds like am I worthy of this? Why?
- 23:38Speaker 2: Like you know, the blessings that have been bestowed upon me?
- 23:40Speaker 2: Like why me?
- 23:41Speaker 1: You know, I've made so many mistakes in my life.
- 23:45Speaker 1: But then I have to remind myself that at the
- 23:47Speaker 1: end of the day one, I've stayed true to God
- 23:51Speaker 1: even in the face of my worst, you know, I
- 23:55Speaker 1: leaned on God, and even in my best, I've also
- 23:59Speaker 1: leaned God and shown him gratitude. And then so when
- 24:03Speaker 1: that fearful thought crept in, I just had to say, Sarah,
- 24:06Speaker 1: and I will never give up.
- 24:07Speaker 2: No matter what happens.
- 24:09Speaker 1: You know, yeah, whatever, you will not outthink me, You
- 24:13Speaker 1: will not outwork.
- 24:13Speaker 2: Me right, you won't know and me neither.
- 24:16Speaker 1: And we're so we're so passionate about the mission of the.
- 24:21Speaker 3: Business, about the mission.
- 24:23Speaker 1: And helping people, yes, and showing people what healthy love
- 24:29Speaker 1: for not just their their partners look like, but really
- 24:32Speaker 1: what self love looks like. For sure, our journeys to
- 24:35Speaker 1: self love have been long and they're ongoing, yeah, and
- 24:40Speaker 1: very bumpy, and you know, fear is crept in so
- 24:44Speaker 1: many times and we've had to you know, rebuke it
- 24:48Speaker 1: and and you know, it's it's so beautiful and I
- 24:53Speaker 1: I'm so I just this whole week has been very emotional.
- 24:57Speaker 1: Maybe it was because that message we got this week
- 25:00Speaker 1: from you know, one of your followers who's been listening
- 25:03Speaker 1: to the podcast.
- 25:05Speaker 3: Great messages this week that we're such a blessing of
- 25:08Speaker 3: just you've changed my life so much. Your content has
- 25:11Speaker 3: been so helpful and understanding myself and my relationship. And
- 25:15Speaker 3: I mean that blesses our hearts.
- 25:17Speaker 2: And it's a reminder.
- 25:18Speaker 1: Those messages like that are a reminder from God that
- 25:22Speaker 1: no matter what, fear can never win. It can't because
- 25:26Speaker 1: it's it's the moment from our missions. Because it's moments
- 25:29Speaker 1: like that, it's the people that we're helping. It's the
- 25:31Speaker 1: people that come to us and write to us and
- 25:33Speaker 1: say the things that they say that I'm like.
- 25:36Speaker 2: It ain't about the money.
- 25:37Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's not about It's about I mean, the
- 25:40Speaker 3: money is a plusness and help. We try to help
- 25:42Speaker 3: people with it, right, and that give a lot to
- 25:44Speaker 3: the church.
- 25:45Speaker 1: But it's not we want to do like we want
- 25:47Speaker 1: to be philanthropists, Like, yeah, that's our goal is to
- 25:50Speaker 1: be billionaires so that we can just be missionary. Yes,
- 25:53Speaker 1: and that's all we want to do is help everyone,
- 25:55Speaker 1: to help people.
- 25:56Speaker 3: And literally your money and give away lots.
- 25:59Speaker 2: And lots of other to help people.
- 26:00Speaker 3: I would even search the dream because I don't need
- 26:02Speaker 3: billions now, I give away ninety percent of it and just.
- 26:05Speaker 2: Live goodwill do.
- 26:07Speaker 3: She is a massive goodwill find queen. But I think
- 26:11Speaker 3: one of the things too that helps me is knowing
- 26:14Speaker 3: if it's not happening right now, it's not happening. And
- 26:17Speaker 3: really think about that statement. If it's not happening right now,
- 26:22Speaker 3: it is not happening. Because all there is is right now.
- 26:27Speaker 3: Life is made up of a million moments of now,
- 26:30Speaker 3: and when you spend now projecting into the future, with
- 26:33Speaker 3: fear you are ruining the now, you are wasting your life.
- 26:37Speaker 3: And I never truly was able to hang on to
- 26:42Speaker 3: that until I had God, and you know, I just
- 26:46Speaker 3: could never. It would just go back to what if,
- 26:48Speaker 3: what if? What if? What if I have cancer? What
- 26:50Speaker 3: if I have this? What if I have a mess?
- 26:51Speaker 3: Would I have this because I had five million horrible
- 26:54Speaker 3: symptoms from trauma that would try to convince me that
- 26:56Speaker 3: I had MS or cancer or everything. And then I
- 26:59Speaker 3: would go get a bunch of tests and it would
- 27:01Speaker 3: all come back clear, and then that would relieve my
- 27:03Speaker 3: anxiety for a little while until the next wonky thing
- 27:05Speaker 3: popped up. And that is actually how how the anxiety works.
- 27:08Speaker 3: When one thing settles, your brain is like, no, but
- 27:11Speaker 3: we need you to be hypervigilant and feel threatened because
- 27:13Speaker 3: world is so.
- 27:14Speaker 2: Dangerous and it's your norm.
- 27:16Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's your norm, and it makes you hyper
- 27:18Speaker 3: vigilant towards your body. And then when you actually there's
- 27:21Speaker 3: so much research and you should really check out like
- 27:24Speaker 3: Alan Gordon and Nicole Sacks, and I mention their names
- 27:26Speaker 3: a lot, just because they were such a huge part
- 27:28Speaker 3: of my healing journey and their research and their science
- 27:31Speaker 3: has fascinated me from the first moment that I looked
- 27:34Speaker 3: at it. But when you hyper fixate on something that
- 27:39Speaker 3: you are afraid of in terms of your body or
- 27:41Speaker 3: like your life experience, one you start to hyper focus
- 27:45Speaker 3: on it, so you see it everywhere or you see
- 27:47Speaker 3: it all the time. Two. If it's like in your body,
- 27:49Speaker 3: the brain goes, oh, that stomach pain you have, you're
- 27:53Speaker 3: very afraid of that, and that's telling us it's important,
- 27:57Speaker 3: so we must make that bigger. So actually, when you
- 28:00Speaker 3: have a symptom and you have fear with it, it
- 28:03Speaker 3: wires it in harder and there are gosh, what is
- 28:07Speaker 3: that guy's name. Gupta is his last name. I can't
- 28:12Speaker 3: remember his first name. He runs the Gupta Program, and
- 28:16Speaker 3: essentially his program is all about this that diseases like
- 28:19Speaker 3: chronic fatigue and all sorts of other sort of diseases
- 28:24Speaker 3: that we don't really know why they happen, are really
- 28:28Speaker 3: heavily wired in because when they first appeared, usually they
- 28:31Speaker 3: were caused by stress or trauma on the nervous system,
- 28:34Speaker 3: plus some genetic predisposition for it, or maybe some kind
- 28:37Speaker 3: of trigger like a viral trigger, or exposed you know,
- 28:40Speaker 3: being exposed to talksin so he talks about mold illness,
- 28:43Speaker 3: and he talks about chronic fatigue, you know, chronic epstein
- 28:48Speaker 3: bar things like that. They become chronic because the brain
- 28:52Speaker 3: wired it in, because of the fear response attached to it,
- 28:55Speaker 3: because what fires together wires together in the brain. And
- 28:58Speaker 3: so the actual way all of that and this was
- 29:01Speaker 3: a huge part of my healing was one not only
- 29:04Speaker 3: my faith in God, but two starting to view any
- 29:07Speaker 3: symptoms that I had as neutral, or any life hiccup
- 29:11Speaker 3: as very neutral, like, Okay, well that is what it is.
- 29:15Speaker 3: It's just oh, I have this, my hand is numb
- 29:17Speaker 3: right now? Okay, well, what's.
- 29:18Speaker 2: A body trying to tell me?
- 29:19Speaker 1: I just lean in with curiosity now, right, like, instead
- 29:22Speaker 1: of like allowing it to scare me, because we y'all know,
- 29:27Speaker 1: you know, our ailments. We've talked about the good we've had,
- 29:29Speaker 1: the ailments, we've got very similar ones. And instead I'm
- 29:33Speaker 1: just like, Okay, what's my body trying to tell me?
- 29:35Speaker 1: How can I learn from this? You know, I'm just
- 29:37Speaker 1: I've started to look at every experience as how can
- 29:41Speaker 1: I learn? How can I grow? Instead of oh gosh,
- 29:44Speaker 1: what's happening?
- 29:44Speaker 3: Right? And I think a lot of people too, will
- 29:47Speaker 3: use avoidance like, well, I'm just gonna put it out
- 29:48Speaker 3: of my mind and not think about it. But really,
- 29:51Speaker 3: healing comes to being connected to your body, but not
- 29:55Speaker 3: judging or assigning meaning to whatever's happening in your body.
- 29:59Speaker 3: And that is a huge part of emotional processing as well,
- 30:02Speaker 3: and actually getting emotional completion to happen, which is long
- 30:05Speaker 3: term nervous system stabilization. That is truly how we get
- 30:08Speaker 3: our long term nervous system stabilization is through proper emotional
- 30:12Speaker 3: completion in the body. And I teach that in my group,
- 30:16Speaker 3: and it really is one of those things where I'm
- 30:20Speaker 3: just I'm just very neutral. I'm just like, oh, hi,
- 30:22Speaker 3: little numb hand, Okay, Well, if you're something bad, you
- 30:27Speaker 3: will get worse. So what I'm gonna do right now
- 30:29Speaker 3: is just still allow you to be here with me
- 30:31Speaker 3: as I go through my day. I have had days
- 30:33Speaker 3: where my palms would sweat off the chain for no reason,
- 30:36Speaker 3: no reason at all. I've had days where I've had
- 30:38Speaker 3: debilitating stomach pain for no reason at all. I've had
- 30:41Speaker 3: days where I have had numbness and tingling for no
- 30:43Speaker 3: reason at all. All of those are stress based symptoms
- 30:48Speaker 3: where your nervous system has been so stressed for so
- 30:51Speaker 3: many years that it's just misfiring. It's just a misfire.
- 30:54Speaker 3: Ninety nine percent of the things I experience, which I
- 30:57Speaker 3: experience a lot less than I used to a lot
- 30:59Speaker 3: lots to night, and they are all out to it.
- 31:05Speaker 3: I'm just are just I'm like, it's just a misfire.
- 31:07Speaker 3: It's just a misfire. It's okay, I'm not dying.
- 31:10Speaker 2: And if I am dying, oh well.
- 31:12Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, yes, And then it's like, well, what about
- 31:14Speaker 3: your kids? Yes, that does tug on my heart. I
- 31:16Speaker 3: don't want to leave my kids. They've already lost one parent. No,
- 31:19Speaker 3: my beautiful husband has adopted them. They are legally his now.
- 31:23Speaker 3: But they would be devastated because.
- 31:25Speaker 2: I'm there, you know, I'm there, the closest person to them.
- 31:27Speaker 3: Obviously they love their dad, they love their you know,
- 31:31Speaker 3: adopted father, but it definitely would be a big trauma.
- 31:35Speaker 3: So they happened to me. But I have to think
- 31:37Speaker 3: about it as like, Okay, well, I'll be in heaven.
- 31:40Speaker 3: God's going to reveal that everything that happens on earth
- 31:44Speaker 3: there's a reason or purpose or underlying It's a temporary
- 31:48Speaker 3: state anyway. Do I want them to suffer here on earth?
- 31:51Speaker 3: Of course not. But am I going to feel they're
- 31:54Speaker 3: suffering or know they're suffering when I'm in heaven and
- 31:56Speaker 3: glorified and there is no suffering. No. So.
- 32:00Speaker 1: But death reveals a lot too, you know, it does,
- 32:02Speaker 1: And I've learned that from you know, losing my own mom,
- 32:05Speaker 1: probably prematurely, you know, I think, oh, for sure, she
- 32:08Speaker 1: didn't know. I was only thirty four, and I know
- 32:11Speaker 1: people lose parents much younger than that, and so I'm
- 32:13Speaker 1: grateful that I had her for as long as I did.
- 32:15Speaker 1: But you know, it was in her death that gosh,
- 32:19Speaker 1: I can't even name the things that I've learned, and that,
- 32:22Speaker 1: if anything, I think it's helped me become less fearful
- 32:27Speaker 1: of my own mortalent.
- 32:28Speaker 3: Yeah. I think Jared's death did the same thing for me, yea,
- 32:31Speaker 3: because it was like, well, he experienced it. Yeah, everybody
- 32:36Speaker 3: experiences it, you can't nobody. Was it Van Wilder or
- 32:39Speaker 3: something that said nobody gets out of this life alive?
- 32:42Speaker 3: Like nobody does.
- 32:43Speaker 2: It's the one thing that died.
- 32:45Speaker 3: And I think it's more that people are afraid of
- 32:47Speaker 3: the suffering and I get that. I do. And everybody
- 32:51Speaker 3: will suffer in this life one way or the other.
- 32:53Speaker 3: We say it all the time. Life traumatizes us all
- 32:55Speaker 3: you are not special. No, you are not special. And
- 32:58Speaker 3: I hate that because ideal. I deal with some people
- 33:01Speaker 3: who have massive trauma and I cry with them and
- 33:05Speaker 3: my heart breaks with them, and I hold their hand
- 33:07Speaker 3: through it virtually, and I hold space for them and
- 33:11Speaker 3: we try to navigate it together and try. I try
- 33:14Speaker 3: to bring them from the place of traumatization and victimization
- 33:21Speaker 3: and self pity and hopelessness to growth. And I always
- 33:26Speaker 3: tell people pain is the best launching point for growth.
- 33:29Speaker 3: And so you can't fear pain in your life. You
- 33:31Speaker 3: cannot fear suffering because suffering there is such an amazing
- 33:37Speaker 3: way that suffering can transform you for the better.
- 33:40Speaker 2: Yes, if you allow it.
- 33:41Speaker 3: Yes, and sometimes our suffering is life long, but only
- 33:45Speaker 3: really a lot of times if we allow it to be. Now,
- 33:49Speaker 3: I'm not saying people that have like chronic pain, they
- 33:52Speaker 3: don't suffer their whole life, but get this, Alan Gordon
- 33:55Speaker 3: and Nicole Sachs found that a lot of chronic pain,
- 33:58Speaker 3: if not the majority of chronic pain, is neuroplastic pain
- 34:01Speaker 3: or what we call psychogenic pain. Their pain is real,
- 34:05Speaker 3: their pain signals are firing. It's not quote in their
- 34:08Speaker 3: head right, But there is nothing structurally or organically biologically
- 34:15Speaker 3: wrong with them. It's that wonky misfiring from suppressed emotion,
- 34:21Speaker 3: from chronic stress, et cetera. So the firing is happening,
- 34:25Speaker 3: that's causing the pain. But once they are able to
- 34:28Speaker 3: heal their nervous systems, their pain goes away. And Alan
- 34:32Speaker 3: Gordon and his podcast Tell Me About Your Pain, is
- 34:35Speaker 3: a beautiful example because he talks about his journey. He
- 34:38Speaker 3: had so much chronic back pain through college that he
- 34:41Speaker 3: could not live a normal life. He would have to
- 34:44Speaker 3: like bring a pillow to the movie theater and he would.
- 34:47Speaker 3: And I know my dad, who was in chronic pain
- 34:49Speaker 3: since the moment I was conscious until his death. I
- 34:53Speaker 3: one hundred percent know his pain was psychogenic. But he
- 34:56Speaker 3: would never ever open himself up to that idea. It
- 34:59Speaker 3: was always no, I have degenerative discs. Of course you do.
- 35:03Speaker 3: But there are a lot of people that have degenerative
- 35:05Speaker 3: disks that aren't basically couch bound right right right, that
- 35:09Speaker 3: have the exact same sort of structural issue that you do,
- 35:12Speaker 3: that are going that are out and living their lives,
- 35:14Speaker 3: and his doctors have told him that he would never ever,
- 35:18Speaker 3: ever even be a teensy ween. See bit open to
- 35:21Speaker 3: the fact that the trauma of his life and the
- 35:23Speaker 3: stress and his mindset and the chronic fear that he
- 35:28Speaker 3: kept and just his negativity and pessimism stressed his nervous
- 35:33Speaker 3: systems so much that his pain that what should have
- 35:37Speaker 3: caused him very little pain or pain that he could
- 35:39Speaker 3: have been able to live with, ended up being crippling.
- 35:42Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 35:42Speaker 1: And then I think too, which happens so often, is
- 35:46Speaker 1: you know, then you seek medical attention, and again we're
- 35:50Speaker 1: not doctors are so important. Medical doctors are so important
- 35:54Speaker 1: for so many reasons, and we're not discounting their value
- 35:57Speaker 1: in any way, shape or form. But I think, you know,
- 36:00Speaker 1: they only have so many tools in their toolbox. They do,
- 36:02Speaker 1: and then they create sort of these compounding problems by
- 36:06Speaker 1: prescribing just band aids and not getting to the root problem.
- 36:10Speaker 3: My dad was addicted to opiates. He was addicted to
- 36:12Speaker 3: opiates for the last twenty years of his life, and
- 36:14Speaker 3: ultimately they cost him his mind, They cost him his mobility,
- 36:19Speaker 3: they cost him his personality, They cost it he was
- 36:22Speaker 3: a shell of a human being. And my ex husband
- 36:24Speaker 3: died from opiate to Opiates are a huge issue in Kentucky.
- 36:28Speaker 2: We have like the most, specially with the dangers of
- 36:30Speaker 2: like fentanyl.
- 36:31Speaker 3: Oh gosh, is such it's so bad here, dangerous. It
- 36:35Speaker 3: has been for.
- 36:35Speaker 1: Years, and now they're putting finnel on everything, everything, everything.
- 36:38Speaker 3: You can't. I mean, my husband, he's such a joke, sir.
- 36:42Speaker 3: Of course he's one hundred percent joking when he said
- 36:44Speaker 3: this to me. But he was like, man, nobody can't
- 36:46Speaker 3: even get any good drugs to experiment with any margin.
- 36:49Speaker 3: I dies, it's not the old days. You know, you
- 36:51Speaker 3: do a little experimentation.
- 36:53Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't do that anymore.
- 36:55Speaker 3: And I've had to talk to my daughter about that.
- 36:57Speaker 3: You cannot even try it once.
- 36:59Speaker 2: Josh and I were just talking about it last night.
- 37:01Speaker 2: You know.
- 37:01Speaker 1: Obviously Josh is a police officer, so he's all you know,
- 37:04Speaker 1: he's constantly i'ming an arcan people. And you know, an
- 37:06Speaker 1: ar canning is usually as the result of like somebody
- 37:10Speaker 1: might just take as annex that they got some from somewhere,
- 37:13Speaker 1: you know, and just because they needed to help sleeping,
- 37:16Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden they have fentanel poisoning,
- 37:18Speaker 1: you know, and.
- 37:19Speaker 2: They're like overdosing.
- 37:20Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's dangerous and it's scary, and it's really scary.
- 37:24Speaker 1: Not to live in fear, but it is scary for
- 37:27Speaker 1: for the for our children.
- 37:29Speaker 3: Yes, And so I refuse to live in the fear,
- 37:32Speaker 3: even for my kids. Oh my gosh. I still I
- 37:37Speaker 3: still have to make sure that I am extremely vigilant
- 37:41Speaker 3: about fear towards my kids. Yeah, my kids are.
- 37:45Speaker 2: It's a different kind of everything.
- 37:47Speaker 3: And and I don't know, I was telling this is
- 37:50Speaker 3: a little bit off subject, but I was talking to
- 37:52Speaker 3: Donald last night and I was like, why is it
- 37:57Speaker 3: that when somebody hurts my child, I have this extreme
- 38:03Speaker 3: visceral reaction that I literally want to punch them in
- 38:07Speaker 3: the face. And that's not right, it's not godly. I'm
- 38:10Speaker 3: innu it. Do I rebuke it?
- 38:12Speaker 2: Do I challenge it to.
- 38:13Speaker 1: Like nature, you know, versus nurture, like where it's just
- 38:16Speaker 1: instinctual for you know, parents or specifically a mother, you know,
- 38:22Speaker 1: where we've carried these children in our wombs and we're
- 38:25Speaker 1: so biologically connected, you know, I mean their DNA flows
- 38:30Speaker 1: through us and our DNA flows through them and we're
- 38:33Speaker 1: you know, it's it's.
- 38:34Speaker 2: Their staying niological. Yeah, it's very biological.
- 38:37Speaker 3: I don't know if our audience knows that, but when
- 38:39Speaker 3: you have a child, their cells circulate in your brain
- 38:42Speaker 3: for the rest of your life, so they literally are
- 38:44Speaker 3: connected to for the rest of your life and there's
- 38:48Speaker 3: no escaping that.
- 38:49Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to go banshee.
- 38:50Speaker 1: If somebody hurts shape too, listen And I'm I'm pretty savage,
- 38:54Speaker 1: Like he got this is he got his yearbook yesterday,
- 38:57Speaker 1: his senior yearbook, and I'm flipping through it and I'm like, good,
- 39:00Speaker 1: these kids are ugly, Like my child is beautiful. I'm like,
- 39:06Speaker 1: how did he not get best looking? They don't even
- 39:08Speaker 1: think they do those superlatives anymore. And the thing is is, like,
- 39:11Speaker 1: if you guys knew JP, he is the most humble,
- 39:15Speaker 1: like non confident child. And like his senior portrait, like
- 39:20Speaker 1: his senior portraits, he.
- 39:22Speaker 2: Looked like a model.
- 39:23Speaker 1: Yeah, like, and the thing is the irony, just like you, Joe,
- 39:27Speaker 1: thank you well.
- 39:28Speaker 2: This irony is you haven't even almost peaked. Dude, You're
- 39:32Speaker 2: so handsome and you haven't even almost.
- 39:34Speaker 3: Don't peak until they're like thirty thirty five. I think
- 39:38Speaker 3: men are most handsome, like in their mid thirty.
- 39:40Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I feel like even now Josh it
- 39:42Speaker 2: you know, Josh is forty three.
- 39:44Speaker 3: I got me a young and am I am. I
- 39:50Speaker 3: am a historically a cougar. Every man I have ever
- 39:54Speaker 3: been with the exception of one, has been younger than
- 39:57Speaker 3: me and it has never turned out well until this one. Yeah.
- 40:01Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, god, Don is a good looking Guy's
- 40:05Speaker 1: funny because we're we're at Thursday Night Live.
- 40:08Speaker 2: I was standing over with you.
- 40:10Speaker 1: You and Donald were standing over here, and I was
- 40:12Speaker 1: staying with Jacqueline and her friend that was with her.
- 40:15Speaker 2: And her friend was like, who is that guy? He
- 40:17Speaker 2: is so hot?
- 40:18Speaker 1: I was like, that's serious, I will punch you in
- 40:22Speaker 1: the face.
- 40:22Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just kidding. That would not be.
- 40:23Speaker 1: Sheally okay, okay, yeah, but no, but.
- 40:27Speaker 3: That happens all the time. Like I see women staring
- 40:30Speaker 3: at my husband constantly. Yeah, because he's hot as a Yeah,
- 40:35Speaker 3: he's jacked, he takes really good care of his body.
- 40:38Speaker 3: He's still got hair, he's yeah, you know, his beautiful teeth.
- 40:42Speaker 3: He's he's like almost six two, he's.
- 40:45Speaker 2: And he's only thirty six right now.
- 40:47Speaker 3: He's thirty eight, thirty eight, thirty eight, getting thirty nine.
- 40:51Speaker 1: I feel like between the ages of really thirty two
- 40:55Speaker 1: till like forty five, I think men really really peak,
- 40:59Speaker 1: and they.
- 41:00Speaker 3: Really do, especially if they take care of themselves. Where
- 41:03Speaker 3: a swim and it's harder.
- 41:06Speaker 2: Men get older and they look rugging and sexy. We
- 41:07Speaker 2: get older and we're like tired.
- 41:09Speaker 1: And it's so fair.
- 41:13Speaker 3: Her face just starts melting downwards, and we're getting everything
- 41:18Speaker 3: injected to try to keep it.
- 41:20Speaker 2: Many salt and peppers. And there's the fear.
- 41:23Speaker 3: Of aging that is a huge fear. And then I
- 41:25Speaker 3: heard my practice. I'm not getting any younger. I'm in
- 41:28Speaker 3: this terrible relationship, and so i want my relationship.
- 41:30Speaker 2: To be better, but it keeps a lot of people
- 41:32Speaker 2: and I'm not.
- 41:32Speaker 3: Going to get any younger. I don't want to get
- 41:33Speaker 3: a divorce because I'm in my forties. She's gonna want me. Listen,
- 41:37Speaker 3: there there'll be seventy year olds on the dating apps. Yes,
- 41:41Speaker 3: I have had a seventy two year old client that
- 41:44Speaker 3: was with a forty something woman for years and years.
- 41:49Speaker 3: He was she was literally the trophy wife. Even admitted like, okay,
- 41:54Speaker 3: I was in a bad place, and I got a
- 41:56Speaker 3: trophy wife. She was complete DA completely checked out totally.
- 42:00Speaker 3: He wont with him for his money. He was a
- 42:01Speaker 3: very wealthy man, and ultimately he wanted intimacy. He wanted romance,
- 42:05Speaker 3: he wanted effort. He wanted to know that he was
- 42:07Speaker 3: more than just what he provided financially. But he was like,
- 42:10Speaker 3: I'm terrified, am I ever? Like? Who's going to want
- 42:12Speaker 3: a seventy two year old man? And I said, but listen,
- 42:17Speaker 3: wouldn't you rather even if let's say you've got five
- 42:20Speaker 3: years left, let's just throw out the average life expectancy
- 42:23Speaker 3: of like seventy six, seventy seven years old. Let's say
- 42:25Speaker 3: you're average five years. Do you want to spend the
- 42:28Speaker 3: next five years living with somebody who barely speaks to
- 42:30Speaker 3: you and spends all your money like water and could
- 42:34Speaker 3: not care less if you're okay, happy, sad? Do you
- 42:37Speaker 3: want to let where there's zero percent intimacy? He's like, no,
- 42:40Speaker 3: I think I don't. I don't want to go to
- 42:43Speaker 3: my deathbed like that. And I said, what if you
- 42:46Speaker 3: don't find anybody else?
- 42:47Speaker 2: Okay? What if?
- 42:49Speaker 3: What if it's just you and your friends and you
- 42:53Speaker 3: get to fish and you get to do the things.
- 42:56Speaker 3: He was still kind of an active dude, right, And
- 43:00Speaker 3: I said, I said, I don't know about you, but
- 43:02Speaker 3: my mom's in her seventies and she's she's set like
- 43:05Speaker 3: seventy five, and she's had pancreatic cancer, and she's jawser
- 43:09Speaker 3: sizes and she travels, and she she would love a mate.
- 43:13Speaker 3: She would love a mate. But my mom is a
- 43:16Speaker 3: little on the DA side. But I think she's learned
- 43:18Speaker 3: a lot. I think she's worked on her security a lot,
- 43:21Speaker 3: and I think she would really love a partner.
- 43:24Speaker 2: It is never too late to live. My dad used
- 43:29Speaker 2: to say that all the time.
- 43:29Speaker 1: He had this sign, your dad married a bombshell, Yeah,
- 43:33Speaker 1: she said. Is a hottie, Yeah she is, and super
- 43:36Speaker 1: sweet and looks a good looking dude, not to like,
- 43:38Speaker 1: very offensive.
- 43:39Speaker 3: But he's asive, he's hilarious. Yeah, he is kind cultured, Well,
- 43:45Speaker 3: he is kind. And what is he seventy.
- 43:46Speaker 1: Five seventy four, seventy five, seventy five.
- 43:50Speaker 3: Yes, he's a fantastic catch.
- 43:53Speaker 2: Yeah he is.
- 43:53Speaker 3: He's a fantastic catch. And so I'm just sitting here
- 43:57Speaker 3: when people are like, well, what if I don't find
- 43:59Speaker 3: anybody else? I always say, do not let the fear
- 44:03Speaker 3: of not finding someone stand in your way. There are
- 44:06Speaker 3: seven billion people in the world.
- 44:09Speaker 2: Fear just makes you cynical too.
- 44:12Speaker 3: It keeps you from everything you want. You cannot have
- 44:16Speaker 3: what you want. I truly believe in the law of attraction,
- 44:18Speaker 3: and I think fear is the lowest vibration that you
- 44:21Speaker 3: can operate under. And I think that that is why
- 44:24Speaker 3: I was like, I'm just a cursed person. That's how
- 44:27Speaker 3: I felt about myself. You know, when all the five
- 44:30Speaker 3: weeks of hell trauma or six weeks of hell trauma
- 44:32Speaker 3: happened to me, Mom had cancer, ex husband died, DA
- 44:36Speaker 3: boyfriend left, Charlie died, my dog was Charlie. It was
- 44:41Speaker 3: just like, I felt like I'm a cursed person, and
- 44:45Speaker 3: I really believed that. And then vestibular migraine hit, and of.
- 44:49Speaker 2: Course you consumed.
- 44:51Speaker 3: I was consumed. I was consumed with fear and it
- 44:54Speaker 3: crippled me and it kept me from my potential and
- 44:58Speaker 3: it kept me from the foe on what was good
- 45:00Speaker 3: in my life. And when you focus on what is good,
- 45:03Speaker 3: and you focus on your blessings, then you will will
- 45:08Speaker 3: absolutely start seeing the good. And it's snowballs it's snowballs.
- 45:13Speaker 3: And now in my life, what if it's just like okay,
- 45:16Speaker 3: even if, even if I die tomorrow and my kids
- 45:18Speaker 3: have this horrible trauma, I'm going to be in the
- 45:21Speaker 3: glory of God. I have to trust. I have to
- 45:24Speaker 3: trust God deeply that he will see them through, that
- 45:29Speaker 3: they will He will redeem their suffering in their life,
- 45:32Speaker 3: and then they will meet me in heaven and it
- 45:34Speaker 3: will be in the blink of an eye, because there
- 45:35Speaker 3: are no time. There's no time in heaven. And that
- 45:37Speaker 3: is just what I choose to hang on to, so
- 45:40Speaker 3: that the fear of what if that you get cancer,
- 45:42Speaker 3: what if you have MS, what if what if you
- 45:45Speaker 3: get lu Gerrig's disease, what if you get I mean,
- 45:47Speaker 3: it tried to happen. The other day. We're watching Boardwalk Empire,
- 45:51Speaker 3: which is an older show. But I don't know why
- 45:53Speaker 3: we're on this gangster show. It's just like we just
- 45:56Speaker 3: watched The Sopranos again, and you know, Steve behin me
- 46:00Speaker 3: such a great actor. But the little child called polio
- 46:04Speaker 3: like in in the in the show, and my oldest
- 46:09Speaker 3: daughter is not fully vaccinated. And before you'd freaking judge me,
- 46:12Speaker 3: she has two autoimmune diseases, and her immunologists would not
- 46:16Speaker 3: allow it. So don't you come at me, okay me,
- 46:21Speaker 3: all right, but it cross my mound. Oh my god,
- 46:24Speaker 3: what if she gets polio? What if the detap that
- 46:26Speaker 3: she had, you know, it's worn off by now? What
- 46:28Speaker 3: if you know, we do a mission missionary and she
- 46:30Speaker 3: goes and gets polio? And I was like, stop it
- 46:32Speaker 3: in Jesus' name, No, what if a plane crashes into
- 46:37Speaker 3: our house tomorrow. I'm not ruining my I'm not ruining
- 46:40Speaker 3: my time right here in this moment thinking about this
- 46:43Speaker 3: chance that my child, who cannot be fully vaccinated because
- 46:47Speaker 3: of her autoimmunity, risks and her and they did full
- 46:51Speaker 3: genetics and listen, her care team made that decision.
- 46:53Speaker 2: And there's tons of places to go on mission trips
- 46:55Speaker 2: that don't Yeah, that aren't third word. I mean even
- 46:58Speaker 2: in our own backyard. I mean, Southeastern Tucky does mission.
- 47:01Speaker 3: Yes, So I'm just like, you know what, No, I'm
- 47:04Speaker 3: not going there. But before I would have been consumed
- 47:07Speaker 3: with it for days, and I would have been like,
- 47:09Speaker 3: is there a way we can find a way to
- 47:10Speaker 3: vaccinate her? Is there not something else we can do?
- 47:12Speaker 3: Is there you know?
- 47:14Speaker 2: And I'm just like, no, not things that haven't even
- 47:15Speaker 2: happened yet, haven't even have yet.
- 47:17Speaker 3: And I'm not a doctor. Her care team we made
- 47:20Speaker 3: for a decision. We had multiple Okay, but I'm not okay,
- 47:25Speaker 3: I'm gonna med with Rachel Green. If you have a
- 47:28Speaker 3: heart attack, you don't want me around. I'm not the one.
- 47:30Speaker 2: Okay.
- 47:31Speaker 3: You want me to pick your brain, help you fix
- 47:33Speaker 3: your relationship, sure, I'll do that all day long, but
- 47:36Speaker 3: I can't help you if you go down with a
- 47:38Speaker 3: heart attack in a restaurant. You know, like, remember how
- 47:42Speaker 3: Rachel Green said that to us?
- 47:43Speaker 1: Oh yes, ros, why don't you get out your scalpel
- 47:45Speaker 1: and your fossil brush?
- 47:46Speaker 3: Fossil We love the friends. We love friends. We're huge fans.
- 47:50Speaker 3: That's friends. But we have a lot of reference.
- 47:52Speaker 1: She has a PhD. Yeah, the good kind, so the
- 47:56Speaker 1: not the not the dirty kind. Okay, I don't know
- 47:58Speaker 1: where Y's brains are going. That's another friend joke. You
- 48:00Speaker 1: have to be a friends fan to understand.
- 48:02Speaker 3: Yes, And I was just like, no, Okay, I'm not
- 48:05Speaker 3: a doctor. Her care team made this decision. There's herd immunity,
- 48:10Speaker 3: other people protected, there's you know, and I don't even
- 48:14Speaker 3: judge anti vaxxers. I don't even judge them because likely Listen,
- 48:19Speaker 3: my daughter's care team admitted because she was super premature
- 48:24Speaker 3: and they vaccinated her right away with everything and anything
- 48:26Speaker 3: under the sun, it likely caused. And then we did
- 48:29Speaker 3: genetics she had some risk factors genetically, her vaccines likely
- 48:33Speaker 3: cause toronto immunity. That is from her immunologist. So do
- 48:37Speaker 3: people have their reasons. Yes, I'm I'm so sick and
- 48:41Speaker 3: freaking tired of the judgment and hate in the meanness
- 48:45Speaker 3: of this world.
- 48:46Speaker 1: It's surface level judgment, right, because you don't understand somebody's story.
- 48:50Speaker 1: You're not seeing the underlying, you know, backstory of everything
- 48:56Speaker 1: that's happened prior to that. You're just judging people on
- 48:59Speaker 1: the surface. And it's not okay.
- 49:01Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not okay. And I am so sick. I
- 49:04Speaker 3: am so sick.
- 49:06Speaker 2: Well it's easy to do It's very easy to do
- 49:10Speaker 2: it because the world.
- 49:11Speaker 3: Yes, because social media is just a breeding ground. Everybody
- 49:13Speaker 3: has like a you know, it's.
- 49:15Speaker 2: A breeding ground for judgment. It's a breeding ground for fear.
- 49:18Speaker 3: It is a breeding ground for fear mongering. It's not
- 49:21Speaker 3: there's a lot of fear. Mom, Oh my gosh, so
- 49:24Speaker 3: much fear mongering. And listen, guys, you can't believe everything
- 49:28Speaker 3: you hear.
- 49:28Speaker 1: It's ruining your brain. It's ruining brains, and it's ruining
- 49:33Speaker 1: your adrenals. You're pumping out every time you're in fear,
- 49:36Speaker 1: You're pumping out massive amounts of cortisol, which is inflammatory.
- 49:39Speaker 1: It makes your belly fat, it makes you swollen, it
- 49:41Speaker 1: makes you feel like crap, and yes, it increases your
- 49:43Speaker 1: risk of.
- 49:44Speaker 3: Autoimmunity and other things. So save your adrenals. Lean into God.
- 49:50Speaker 3: That's my best advice. Faith is the opposite of fear.
- 49:52Speaker 3: Lean into gratitude. Monitor your thoughts, catch fear, refuse to
- 49:57Speaker 3: participate in its. Frame the thought, or invite God in
- 50:01Speaker 3: to help you reframe it for you. And then remember,
- 50:03Speaker 3: if it's not happening right now, it's not happening. And
- 50:06Speaker 3: don't let the fear of anything holds you back in life.
- 50:09Speaker 3: Take the risk in life. I don't know who said it,
- 50:12Speaker 3: I forget, but someone very smart once said, if you
- 50:19Speaker 3: don't take a risk, you're likely to regret not taking
- 50:22Speaker 3: the risk versus trying and failing. Oh for sure, we
- 50:24Speaker 3: regret more of the shots we don't take than the
- 50:27Speaker 3: shots that.
- 50:27Speaker 2: We all know.
- 50:28Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's cliche, but we all know that
- 50:32Speaker 1: the most successful people are the people who have failed
- 50:34Speaker 1: the most.
- 50:35Speaker 2: Because failed to take the risk.
- 50:39Speaker 3: Listen, and I don't care to talk about money because
- 50:42Speaker 3: I want people to have money, and I think that
- 50:44Speaker 3: it shouldn't be taboo to talk about money. We don't
- 50:46Speaker 3: want to brag about our money. We want to help
- 50:48Speaker 3: people make money, right, help bring money to you. When
- 50:53Speaker 3: you're scared about money, money will not come because you're
- 50:55Speaker 3: rejecting it, you're not open to it. That's God's law
- 50:58Speaker 3: of attraction. If you believe. Listen to this, and this
- 51:00Speaker 3: is where we will wrap it up. I had a
- 51:03Speaker 3: fear based thought about our business because yes, the last
- 51:05Speaker 3: few months have been kind of slow, but that's summer
- 51:07Speaker 3: for you. It just is people are out there with
- 51:09Speaker 3: their kids. You know, they're traveling. They don't have time
- 51:11Speaker 3: to pour into personal development. We know it's coming, it
- 51:15Speaker 3: is what it is. Things will pick back up. But
- 51:18Speaker 3: I had the tiniest fear based thought, just like you,
- 51:20Speaker 3: what if we've saturated our audience. What if this is
- 51:22Speaker 3: as good as it gets? You know? And then I
- 51:25Speaker 3: said you know what, No money comes to me easily.
- 51:27Speaker 2: It just does.
- 51:27Speaker 3: Money. Money flows to me and I because and it's
- 51:31Speaker 3: about the mission, and whatever about the money, the money
- 51:33Speaker 3: will come. I'm not going to worry about it. Two
- 51:35Speaker 3: things happen that day. Would you believe this. I got
- 51:38Speaker 3: a call and I still got to call this guy
- 51:39Speaker 3: back because we keep missing each other from the guy
- 51:43Speaker 3: who sold me my car. And he was like, your
- 51:46Speaker 3: down payment, we forgot to credit it to you when
- 51:49Speaker 3: we did the deal. And of course I didn't notice
- 51:52Speaker 3: in all the paperwork. There's tax, there's title, there's all
- 51:55Speaker 3: these things I didn't notice, so they didn't give me
- 51:58Speaker 3: this credit of twenty five five hundred dollars of my
- 52:01Speaker 3: down payment. He's like, so I owe you twenty five
- 52:03Speaker 3: hundred dollars. And he's like, I just need you to
- 52:05Speaker 3: call me back and give me the car. Do you
- 52:08Speaker 3: want me to put it on or we can mail
- 52:10Speaker 3: you a check. The same day I had that thought,
- 52:12Speaker 3: Absolutely not. I will not be in fear of scarcity,
- 52:15Speaker 3: in fear of not having money. My focus is on
- 52:16Speaker 3: the mission money of QUM. Then I get a check
- 52:19Speaker 3: in the mail for four hundred and ninety eight dollars
- 52:22Speaker 3: from the government where I overpaid my taxes. My account.
- 52:25Speaker 3: My account was a little too good, and I just
- 52:27Speaker 3: opened it and it's four hundred ninety dollars. Three thousand
- 52:31Speaker 3: dollars came to me in one day when I rebuked
- 52:35Speaker 3: the fear, and I said, money comes to me easily.
- 52:37Speaker 3: I'm not worried about it. My focus is on the mission.
- 52:39Speaker 2: Proof right there, folkus.
- 52:40Speaker 3: It's the law of attraction. It is God's law. The
- 52:43Speaker 3: law of attraction is real. Quantum physics has proven it.
- 52:48Speaker 3: Psychology has been saying it for years. The Bible talks
- 52:51Speaker 3: about it, and so it's we don't it's not the universe,
- 52:55Speaker 3: and we organically don't manifest anything. But God created a
- 52:59Speaker 3: universe based on energy, and so what energy are we
- 53:03Speaker 3: putting out into the world? And it will come back
- 53:05Speaker 3: to us. That is when God said, I gave you
- 53:08Speaker 3: not a spirit of fear, but one of power, love,
- 53:09Speaker 3: and sound mind. That's two Timothy one, p. Seven. And
- 53:12Speaker 3: he means it because he says, I gave you power,
- 53:16Speaker 3: and I gave you a sound mind. I did not
- 53:18Speaker 3: give you a spirit of fear that is from the devil.
- 53:21Speaker 3: And when you operate in the devil's playground, you will
- 53:24Speaker 3: get more of what he has to offer. So let's
- 53:26Speaker 3: end it right there.
- 53:28Speaker 2: Preach girl, prey, preach Ah.
- 53:31Speaker 1: I love it though, it's always it always, you know,
- 53:34Speaker 1: I always leave here feeling refreshed and feeling like, you know,
- 53:39Speaker 1: whatever happens from here is exactly how it should and
- 53:42Speaker 1: everything unfolds as it should.
- 53:44Speaker 2: And so if you have.
- 53:46Speaker 1: Been struggling with living in fear or you know, really
- 53:50Speaker 1: just struggling with really the biggest thing, which is detachment, right.
- 53:56Speaker 3: You're based detaching from something that is not serving you.
- 54:00Speaker 3: And of course a lot of most marriages are fixable. Yeah,
- 54:05Speaker 3: most relationships are fixable. Yeah, and people don't realize if
- 54:08Speaker 3: both people have to want it though.
- 54:09Speaker 2: Yeah, agreed.
- 54:11Speaker 1: But if you're struggling with detachment and fear, really just
- 54:13Speaker 1: fear withinside your relationship in it any way, doctor Hansley
- 54:16Speaker 1: is here to help, of course, you know, tune into
- 54:19Speaker 1: the podcast. The podcast is free. We're here for you, guys,
- 54:22Speaker 1: and we give you all this good free content. And
- 54:24Speaker 1: I say we I'm just here to give personal stories.
- 54:27Speaker 1: Doc is really the brains, but we're here you can
- 54:30Speaker 1: listen to you know, every week we drop a new episode,
- 54:33Speaker 1: and I think that most of our episodes are really
- 54:37Speaker 1: the basis of what we really talk about in every
- 54:40Speaker 1: episode is to have no fear right and to learn
- 54:44Speaker 1: how to detach in a way that is healthy, but
- 54:46Speaker 1: mostly how to love in a way that is secure
- 54:48Speaker 1: and healthy. So please go see Doc at her website,
- 54:52Speaker 1: the loovedoc dot com for all of our listeners. We
- 54:55Speaker 1: offer a special promo code which is love Doc twenty
- 54:58Speaker 1: seven that gives you twenty seven percent off all of
- 55:00Speaker 1: her services except her one on ones, which that might change.
- 55:04Speaker 1: We might we might start doing something now we're changing up.
- 55:07Speaker 3: We changed our software because our one on one system
- 55:10Speaker 3: and then the group and the courses wonder another system.
- 55:12Speaker 3: Now we've merged all the systems together. Listen to tech
- 55:15Speaker 3: is the worst side of the business. It is the worst.
- 55:18Speaker 1: Yesterday I finished the new system. I think fingers crossed
- 55:22Speaker 1: that I've dotted all the i's and crossed all the
- 55:24Speaker 1: t's that like, I seriously when it when I like
- 55:29Speaker 1: went through all of it one last time to just
- 55:32Speaker 1: check it all to make sure it all matched and
- 55:34Speaker 1: everybody's names were right. I mean, it's so tedious. I
- 55:37Speaker 1: was like I might throw up. I really felt like
- 55:41Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna throw up. I'm like, because
- 55:44Speaker 1: this has been just the pain of my existence for the.
- 55:47Speaker 2: Past really like three weeks that I've really been honed
- 55:49Speaker 2: in on it.
- 55:50Speaker 1: But I think it's done, which just gives us so
- 55:52Speaker 1: much more room to be able to offer you know,
- 55:55Speaker 1: some discounts around one on ones with Doc and our
- 55:59Speaker 1: other coaches.
- 56:00Speaker 2: Yes, so more room, Yeah.
- 56:02Speaker 3: To be able everything being under the same sucstem.
- 56:05Speaker 1: Yes, it makes it a little bit more accessible. Yes,
- 56:08Speaker 1: we won't get into.
- 56:08Speaker 2: The how and why.
- 56:09Speaker 1: You don't care about that shit, but but seriously, I
- 56:13Speaker 1: know y'all care, y'all care about a lot of y'all
- 56:15Speaker 1: do want to meet with Doc one on one or
- 56:17Speaker 1: want to meet with one of our coaches one on one.
- 56:19Speaker 1: But her group, of course is wonderful too. Even the
- 56:22Speaker 1: self paced program is wonderful program. You can you can
- 56:25Speaker 1: buy the self paced program.
- 56:27Speaker 3: Which is do it all on your own.
- 56:28Speaker 2: And do it all on your own and then add
- 56:30Speaker 2: the place later.
- 56:31Speaker 1: We When you buy the self pace program, you're automatically
- 56:35Speaker 1: give given a promo code to pro rate the costs
- 56:39Speaker 1: of that self paced program off. If you do decide
- 56:42Speaker 1: to add the calls later. So there are so many options, guys.
- 56:46Speaker 1: I know we don't go into a lot of detail
- 56:48Speaker 1: on the pod about the specific services that DOC offers,
- 56:52Speaker 1: but please reach out to us at support at the
- 56:54Speaker 1: lovedoc dot com. We're here to answer all of your
- 56:56Speaker 1: questions and of course continue to write to us.
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- 57:04Speaker 3: Your just comments, if we're If you enjoy this podcast,
- 57:08Speaker 3: it helps us on the hard days where where tech
- 57:12Speaker 3: makes us want to melt down into a little ball
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- 57:16Speaker 2: If we just you know, we've had bad days in general,
- 57:18Speaker 2: kind of four piles of diarrhea. You know, it happens.
- 57:21Speaker 3: It happens. Life traumatizes everybody, and so your positive feedback
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- 57:42Speaker 3: all we truly want at the end of the day,
- 57:43Speaker 3: So thank you so much.
- 57:44Speaker 1: That's right, and until next Time Guys, Peace, love and perspective.