Latest / The REALationship Method / Standards, Situationships & Single Motherhood: Dating in 2026 with Kirsten

Transcript

Standards, Situationships & Single Motherhood: Dating in 2026 with Kirsten · The REALationship Method

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_04: The breast was good.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_04: I guess I picked you up.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_04: Ready?
• 0:10
  unknown: Ready.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_04: Five, four, three, two, one.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_04: Ma'am.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_04: Welcome back to another episode of the Relationship Podcast.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_04: It's your boy Chris.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_04: Today I have a mama bear.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_04: She is a gym enthusiasticist.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_04: From what she was saying, she wears many caps.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_04: Not have many cats.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_04: It's caps.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_04: As in, like, she is a Jackie of all trades.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, how do you like that one?
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_04: That was pretty good.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_04: I'm cursing on this bitch.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Hello.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so happy to be here with Chris.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_04: No, thank you for um, I guess, accepting this invite.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_04: How did this happen?
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, no, I reached out to you.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, there you go.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_04: There you go.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_04: She reached out.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_04: I said yes.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_04: So she shot her shot, you know?
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_04: I did, I did.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_04: Um, what made you um shoot your shot?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_04: Um yeah.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Well, actually, so two of my friends were already on here.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_04: Tut your ass.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_04: Shout out to y'all two friends.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Maka and Jess.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_04: Maka and Jess, okay.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_04: Two lovely women.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: The last two guests, actually.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, and then I was like, you know what?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have some things to say.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, let me shoot my shot, and yeah.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: And she is here.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_04: Hell yeah.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_04: And you are a mama bear, um, mother of one.
• 1:34
  unknown: Of one.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_04: And um, are you single taken on the apps?
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_04: Are you is your are you devoted to God right now or to Buddha?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I am single, but I am not ready to mingle.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_04: That is good.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_04: Work on yourself.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_04: Girl, yes.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_04: Um, so y'all don't need to DM her.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_04: Cause she at um your DMs, right?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_04: Because people, I'm gonna assume people know that you're single.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe they're like prying on your page and shit.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_04: Um, do you know which one to click accept on, or is it one of those things where it's just if I don't know you and you're DMing, na.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I'm gonna be so honest with you.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: I open all of my DMs and if I don't want to answer, I'm not gonna reply.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll just leave them on scene.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_04: Leave them on scene.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_04: I like how you said leave them on scene and not on red.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: On red, yeah.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_04: Yo, but I mean you said scene, so that's on DMs, yeah.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, yeah.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: On the DMs.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_04: But um Do you feel some type of way if it was turned around?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_04: Have you ever thought of that?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_04: Um say you reached out and To a dude and they left me on scene.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, I'd be pissed.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_04: You'd be pissed.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_04: For sure.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_04: So do you think the the guy or girl.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if like it depends on what I said though.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like if it was like something important or like true or funny and you like left me on scene, like, cause me, I don't really like I'll swipe up, like I'll give you like hard eyes and like fire signs, whatever.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: But like I do that too.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care if you like leave me on scene for those.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like if I'm actually like reaching out and like DMing you, like, hey, like you look good, or like I say like something funny or cute to you, and you leave me on scene, I'm like, damn, okay.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_04: So the actual conversation you would feel somewhat disrespected.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_04: But if it's like, let's say a meme, yeah, the emojis are a good enough response.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's fine.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'll like it.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'll like, I mean, like in that case, I won't leave you on scene, like I'll just like like it.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay, double tap.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'll just double tap.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_04: Do you think in you know, like this time of age people are just not wanting to talk, so they'll just double tap just to you know, for other people just get off their back?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: What do you mean?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_04: So, perjemplo, I sent you a meme.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_04: You just double tap it.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_04: Is that a way of you just saying, okay, cool, I'm done talking to you, or you know, like the interaction is over.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, I mean it like also like it depends on what the meme is.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: If it's funny, uh-huh, I'll reply.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Or like I'll just give like the the uh laughing, crying face.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: The double tap.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's it.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's cool.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Or like me, I'll be like, if I want to be like a little extra, I'll be like L O L LMAO or something like that.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_04: But like So um I think people nowadays, and I'm not gonna say everyone, but I think there's a lot of people that don't know how to end, you know, like a com like properly end our conversation.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_04: And they just leave them on red.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_04: On red, yeah.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_04: Um, Miss Kirsten, how do you end a conversation?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_04: Let's say we'll do two.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_04: One in, let's say in the DM world.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_04: How do you end one?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_04: Um Okay, but is like, is it okay bye?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is literally like I'm admitting to this because I'm a ghoster.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like I literally ghost people.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: I don't end the conversation, I just leave them on scene.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_04: Really?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not and it sounds so bad.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_04: If you're not a friend or if you're just gonna be aware of it.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well yeah, yes.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like somebody that like I necessarily like you're this is like what me and my best friend like to call people like in the DMs, like that I don't really want to give like my energy to is like my fan.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like a fan.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you're a no disrespect.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no disrespect.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: No disrespect.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: No, okay, yeah, yeah.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know a term, I don't know how to say it.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you're not really like my mutual, I've never met you like in person, you know.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_04: And you're not an associate.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly, yeah.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: So like a fan, like you're my follower, you know.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, but um, yeah, I just I don't know how to like leave them on read.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, like how would you like hot by talking to you?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think Do you know what I'm saying?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_04: So if it's like if I'm trying to end it, I'll be like, alright man, I'll holler at you later.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_04: That's like my and that's like my ending.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I'll holl at you later, and then if they send me a meme, I'll I'll reply to the meme.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, but then I'm not my my hopes aren't high if they don't respond back to the meme.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, for sure.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, but I know that's there are people like that though that really do get butthurt though.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_04: They're sensitive.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, oh my gosh.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I was never that person.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then they'll blow you up and they'll be like, hello, you good?
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why aren't you replying back to me?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hi, yes, that part.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_04: Um yeah, it so in my sense, I'm like, I'm not I'm not typing it, but in my head, I'm just like, what the heck is going on?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_04: Because I double tapped it.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_04: I said it was, you know, like it's funny.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know what else you want me to say.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_04: Like, you want me to Yes, exactly.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, don't know how to so we'll flip it now.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_04: How about in person?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_04: How do you you're talking, you're telling you talking story to, you know, like your peoples, your friends, even like say a person that you don't know, how do you end that conversation?
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_04: What's a Miss Christian way of ending a conversation?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'll just be like, um I gotta go.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_04: My kid needs me.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_04: I gotta feed my dog.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: No, no excuses.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: I got errands to do.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's really, yeah, you just be like, yeah, like I just really got uh or like um honestly I don't know.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'll just be like, yeah, I gotta go.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um but text me if you need anything, um, call me, whatever.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'll always like end it, like I won't just end it there.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'll always just be like, I'm validate their feelings.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, like if you had something else to say, I'm sorry, like I really just gotta go.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: But like I love you.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, don't make don't make it seem like I don't care about you.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_04: So what if it's a person that's shooting their shot?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: In person?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like at the bar?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_04: I guess at a bar.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, let's make it a bar scene.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_04: You're shooting a shot.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_04: How are you Okay, I'm done with this conversation, I'm done.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_04: How do you cut that off?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh oh my girl needs me.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta go.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_04: Are you make- are you trying to make that slight eye contact with your friend be like Yes?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: No, for sure.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's it.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: But but it's a situation where like I because right, like I don't want to talk to them since I'm saying bye, right?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, my friend gotta go.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, my friend needs me, I gotta go.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_04: What's the um what's the telltale sign for a guy if you could give an advice to a guy that a woman is done with a conversation at the bar?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: They're giving you no type of energy, like literally, like if they're if you're the only one that's talking, if you're talking to yourself, just leave her alone.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like honestly, like you know, like and you can just tell.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: You can tell by somebody's like body language, by the way, like if they're just like yeah, mm-hmm.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, yeah, like they're just they just don't seem interested in you.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: But then also I know there are some guys where it's just like they're kind of like oblivious and it's like they don't know.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_04: I am a b an oblivious one, yeah.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so I guess like then for the female, like you have to just like you if you really don't want to talk to the guy, just don't waste your time.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like just cut it off right then and there.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_04: Is that a good way to say it to end it?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_04: Like, sorry, my guy, you're just wasting your time.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_04: You gotta move on.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: If you're like blunt and straight up like that, I don't think I could do that.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because like, I don't know, that kind of thing.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like I don't want to be like rude.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be like, or if you do want to be like up front like that, like straight up, be like, oh you know, like I think you're a really cool person, but I don't think this is gonna go anywhere.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_04: It's me, not you.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly, exactly, exactly.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Please play the it's me, not you type of thing.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, interesting.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_04: And if it's uh wait, I I had a question in my head.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_04: Um, so it was the guy asking you, you don't want it anymore.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_04: Um, how about the guy that's persistent throughout that whole night?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_04: You said no, he walked away, came back to you.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my gosh.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_04: Cause I I'm I'm gonna imagine it happened to you.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, it happens, right?
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, because uh I'm guilty of you know, like I talk to a person um a woman at the bar, no signs, right?
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_04: I go do my thing, make my rounds, get another drink.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_04: Come back.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_04: I see her again, and I'm trying to chop it up.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna say seven out of ten times it works.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: For sure, because at that time she's already gotten, you know, her drinks in, and so she's probably willing to like give you a conversation.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like you have to like let it like look like listen up a little bit.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I feel well for me, at least personally, for me, if a guy, if I was talking to a guy and I just was like, Oh, you know what, like no, I'm good.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then they come back around and then they try to talk to me again, and like I'm already like kind of lit at that point.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, then it could be like a friendly conversation, but then it just really depends.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: See, uh Okay, okay.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_04: You say it depends.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_04: Does it depend on the conversation or does it depend on the looks?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: I was just gonna say because yeah.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_04: Let's ask Miss Kirsten that.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that is a great question.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um okay.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: I guess it is it it depends on the conversation.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: It depends on how like how confident you are, like what kind of conversation you're bringing, because you could be like a six out of ten and be funny, and I'm gonna enter I'm gonna entertain you because you literally said something funny to me.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even care about like how you look.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you can make me laugh, like that's it.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_04: Like I've been telling this for years on the pod that you could be like a five out of ten, right?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_04: No, literally.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_04: But if you can make the other person laugh, it boosts you up to like maybe a seven to an eight.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it doesn't even matter.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: No, literally, like you could be like medium ugly and you can be funny, and you're like now not medium ugly.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're yes, you know what I mean?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_04: Um, what's the uh in this we're still in the club setting, what's the conversations that you can have in the bar to where you could know, oh, this guy is funny, like because it's loud, there's a lot of people around.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_04: How can you determine this is guy is interesting enough to where you could jive with them?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh like I don't I just like a goofy guy.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: I like a guy that just like he just is just being himself.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, cause you know there are some guys out there and they just like try to be like all cool and stuff like that.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they're they're they're wallflowers.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, they're wallflowers.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: They'll literally stand by the bar and they're just like Exactly.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_04: I get scared sometimes.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, hey dog, what you what you've been on doing?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm like, bro, like just relax, like chill out.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but um, I don't know, I feel like I like me, okay.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Personally for me, I'm like such like a dad joke girl.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: So like if somebody like said like a corny line to me, I'd probably laugh.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't take that.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't take that much.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_04: It's funny that you say that because I do a lot of dad jokes.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_04: Like, that's my way in.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_04: Like if I if I could if I could get a giggle, yeah, like you know, yeah, I'm like, okay, I think I got a shot.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_04: This is this is when I was single, right?
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_04: For sure.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_04: Cause um, like I'm not the like the cutest guy in the world, but I do have a lot of personality.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_04: That's what a lot of my friends say.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_04: And when I do these one-liners, it's either it'll either go left or it'll go right.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_04: You feel me?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_04: So if I get that smile or that giggle, I'm like, alright, bet.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_04: I got it.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_04: I'm coming back.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_04: You know, like I'm exactly I'm gonna see her again.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, hey, I forgot your name, but I'm Chris again.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_04: What is your name again?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_04: And then I'll just spark it up.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, literally.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't even like I feel like it doesn't even really matter like what you say, but it's like your tone of it too, like the way that like your energy, the way that your confidence level is, like how you bring it up.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, this is true.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_04: Um, with the aggressive ones, can you tell an aggressive guy that's trying to pick up on you by I guess like by his mannerisms and tone?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_04: How do you deal because you know these guys could be you know low-key intimidating?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_04: How do you ease them off to where you're not interested anymore?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm I'm just straight up like no, I'm good.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_04: So the energy is matching.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly, yes, the energy is matching, yeah.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, you know, if somebody's like really like too pushy, like on me, I'm like, no, I'm good.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'll look up to them, I'm good.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_04: Do you think the island boys, and no disrespect to you guys, are they that type?
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_04: Um because I've had I've had women on I've had women on, and they say a lot of the boys here, guys, gentlemen, whatever you want to call them.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: The local brothers.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, the locals, yeah, they are really pushy.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like they really try to be pushy, they're pretty uh pushy, they're pretty aggressive.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um especially when there's alcohol in their system.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so it's like and it's just not attractive.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's really not it is it it's not, you know.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: You need to like learn how to control your alcohol.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you're gonna drink alcohol, you need to learn how to act and know that you know you're not the shit all the time, and not every girl is gonna want you, so you don't have to keep pressing girls all the time.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_04: This is real, yeah.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is real.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I'm a happy drunk.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_04: Me too.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a um my people.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_04: Uh I'm a social butterfly.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: When I'm inebriated, oh, are you?
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_04: You get down, you be gigging.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: I be I be I be doing my little Dougie.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_04: That's what's up.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_04: I hate the uh what are they called?
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_04: The um the guys that are they're not apprehensive.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_04: They're um You got it.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_04: They want to fight.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_04: Like the guys that get drunk, I hate those guys.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_04: They're like looking for trouble.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I laugh it off, and they're like, oh, you want to squab?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm like, no, no, no, I'm just laughing at the situation, dog.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_04: No, literally.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_04: Leave me alone.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not trying to fight.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I'm cool.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: There are girls like that too, though.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_04: There are women like that.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_04: Why?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_04: What makes I have no idea.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's probably their trauma.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_04: It's a trauma.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_04: It's not no guy, it's the ego.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_04: I think it's it's the ego that gets them all riled up.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, he called you a bitch.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, he stepped on your shoes.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Probably for a girl too.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, for a woman too.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: For women too, I there's definitely gonna be like some type of ego there.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's like those women that like think like you know, like they're better than everybody.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't think they're intentionally trying to do that.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's just that that's how it comes off.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_04: That liquid courage get them.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, the liquid courage gets them, like the worst of them, unfortunately.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_04: Oh god.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_04: Um, let's let's just be responsible, guys.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_04: No, women and guys have feelings too in the club scene and all this stuff.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you ready to get any of these questions, Miss Kirsten?
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: Do it.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_04: That was a pretty good yap sesh, right?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it was, yeah.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_04: Alright, first question.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_04: What's harder being a single mom or dating as a single mom?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'd probably say dating as a single mom.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Being a single mom is obviously going to be hard.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because and I can just give like a little context, like for background, like I have a good support system.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: So my parents helped me with my daughter, and I have my daughter 50-50.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: So like she's with her dad half the time, and then she's with me half the time, and then when I do have her, um, and like I do not like have to go to work or something if I have something to do, like my mom is always there for her or like there to help me.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: So shout out to my mom.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out to you, and yes.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but that and just yeah, having your support system, um, that's always gonna be hard.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: And you're figuring it out by yourself, like the dynamic of that, like being a single mom.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now, dating as a single mom is hard because now you have a factor of okay, I'm Kirsten and I want to date, but then I also have my kid, and like I don't know how my partner or whoever I'm dating at the time is gonna like receive that.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: But like I me with dating, like it hasn't been like difficult at all.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, they usually the men that like I talk to are very like respectful and like they know like oh they know what they're getting into, basically.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: But I guess I would say it's more difficult navigating that because it's like okay, like now I don't want to like how do when when do I introduce my kid to the person that I'm dating?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or like, oh now I have to now there's another person, like, okay, what about date nights?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because now this person has to understand, like, oh date night could be canceled just like that.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I'm saying?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: And they need to be okay with that.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so they I have dated men where it was like, you know, like I tell them, like, dude, I'm a mom first.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so and like I said, most of them are respectful, but then once you get to like into it more, like dating into them more, they kind of show their true colors.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, well, not they, let me not say they, but the people that I have Damn.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: The people that I have experienced like dating with, like, they kind of get like butthurt.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like they show their true colors, and I'm like, bro, like, I'm a mom first, and I told you you knew what it was when I met you.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: So that could be hard in that like dating as a single mom, in a sense, like navigating through it, I guess.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_04: As a single parent, like uh in my earlier stages as as um I was gonna say manhood, fatherhood.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_04: As fatherhood, um the whole dating scene, um, I wasn't really too, I guess, um concerned with it.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_04: For sure.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_04: Because my my my brain was my little one has to survive.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_04: Like I needed like 100, like my attention goes to that, like my hobbies.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_04: It's like, okay, if I have a little time to, you know, play basketball, do something for myself.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_04: It's it's like okay, but the whole dating scene as a single parent, I wasn't like really into that.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_04: And then when I started dating, it was more of like just it was just hanging out, yeah.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_04: Like the whole quitus or canoodling.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, it didn't happen.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I'm saying?
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_04: It was just more like getting to know him.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, all right, I already know if it's gonna be a good fit or not, like in my head, right?
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_04: So I think as you know, as men, um and me personally, like it wasn't it wasn't a problem.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, that's good.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um now I can say this, I wasn't always like that.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this I'm not trying to like even make it sound bad, but when I first so I was in Arizona from 2018 to 2023, and when I moved back home um from Arizona, I was I think I was like really like still kind of going through my like trauma like with her dad.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it was like coming out in a way where like, oh now like that I'm single, I'm gonna like start dating again.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: But kind of like putting like my responsibilities like more like on my mom, if that makes sense.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, it does, yeah, yeah.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so and obviously I wasn't like aware to that situation at the time until like my mom was like, Hey, listen, like, dude, like you need to like get your shit together.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_04: You need to use back.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like you need like I'm here for you, of course.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm going to be here for you all the time, but you need to like get your shit together.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_04: I th I think I'll start for cutting you off.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_04: But I think like um when a person is going through it, it's good to get that reality check because subconsciously, or like when you're actually going through it, you think it's the right thing for you at that moment.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_04: But you know, a person looking from the outside in, it's like, yo, you're you're making the wrong moves right now.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_04: Gotta do it, yeah.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_04: But continue on, my bad.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: No, you're good.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, no, but yeah, that's literally like and just like the the situations that I have been in and like I've learned a lot from dating as a single mom.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um comes into play of how I act now with dating and like having like my kid around the people that I'm talking to.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Or I I don't like to talk to multiple people, but it's just like you know, like if I'm talking to just like one person, like And I know like we're gonna have a future.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: I know we're gonna like date.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, I'm gonna introduce her to him.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I've only introduced my daughter to two men.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: That wasn't her dad.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_04: Really?
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: If they weren't my like obviously, like I have guy, I have homeboys, of course, but like like they know like those are uncles, of course.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: But like my boyfriends, like my ex-boyfriends, like I've only introduced my daughter to two.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think that's now three?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, three.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, ooh.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_04: Do you think it's um like say you're you're uh when you're no, no, you're good.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_04: Uh Footsies.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_04: Um when your daughter becomes of age, will you bring, I guess, these boyfriends around more because she's somewhat intelligent enough to understand that mommy is dating?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, like she knows what boyfriend is, what a girlfriend is.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_04: Like of ages like Man, I'm five.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, she's five.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, she's five.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_04: So, like, say you know, knock on wood, you're you're still dating when she becomes 13 and she knows boyfriend girlfriends, right?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_04: Are you gonna be introducing the men more into her life?
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_04: Or is it one of those things where it's just like nah I'm good?
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's what I'm saying.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it it just really depends on the relationship that I have with that man.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you're w no, I'm not even gonna quote that, if you are worth meeting my daughter.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah, definitely, yeah.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like she's an important part of my life.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: So like if I'm gonna it's like it's kind of the same, like, oh, having your boyfriend or girlfriend meet your parents.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's that's a definite, like, you know, like that's how you know like it's real is like when they meet your parents, you know.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: So and it's gonna be the same concept with like meeting her and stuff.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_04: Valid.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, valid.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_04: Next question.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_04: What's the biggest misconception people have about single mothers who are dating?
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: The biggest misconception?
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, she ain't no hoe.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_04: Um around.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_04: Is there a misconception?
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think uh single mothers or single, I'll just say single parents in general.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like they're like very like sexualized in this generation.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like if somebody, if a man that doesn't have a kid and they find out that I'm a single mom and they're like, ooh, like yeah, like I know the reason like why you had a kid and this, that, and the third.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: But um if the tables are flipped.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_04: If a guy was a single parent and a girl didn't have a kid, yeah, would she think that way?
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um I guess because I'm trying to like think, like, if I didn't have a kid, right?
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I was talking to somebody that didn't or that had a kid.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: That had a kid.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: I would just think like, honestly, like you'd have to like be like in a mature spot to do that, to like talk to a single parent in general.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like either if you're a mom or a dad.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because now like you can't be tripping if they're like talking or like if they're taking care of their kids.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: If they're not talking to you and they're taking care of their kids, you can't be tripping on that.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: Cause you know how certain people do have like those insecurities.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: So um I don't know.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think, I mean, like I feel like I feel like girls do like sexualize like single dads too, but I think it just goes hand in hand.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_04: Goes hand in hand?
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_04: Um when I was a single parent and you know, I would talk to these women that didn't have kids, right?
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_04: Um I've lost a lot of like women so uh companions.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_04: Because I did put my seed first.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_03: For sure.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_04: Because I was like, yeah, I'm not doing this.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_04: I I'm chilling with my, you know, I'm chilling my girl.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_04: And yeah, so but I forgot.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_04: Man, I was I was going with it and then I lost it.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_04: I lost my train of thought.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_04: But she um yeah, let's just get back to me.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_04: I be doing this, I mean like I talk and hopefully I find my find it along the way, but if I don't, man, I don't know.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_04: Um yeah, I lost it.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_04: I really lost it.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_04: But seeing a woman that's like a like a single parent, as a single parent, I already know where I already know the situation, right?
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_04: So therefore, like I'm giving a lot of grace.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly, yes.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_04: So I know single parents, they could vibe off that.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly, yeah.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: So like me in most recent times of dating, so the first guy or the first two dudes like that was like kind of like talking to after I had uh me and her dad were broken up, yeah, they didn't have kids.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: So like that was hard, like navigating, right?
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, and then um after those like relationships, I don't know what got into me, but like I started like talking to just like single dads, like because I was just like they understand.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_04: Like they we do uh we do they you know what yeah we do, we definitely do understand.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's like and I just love like hearing like we can like that's what we can um what is it we have in common to it's cool that we can like vibe off of that, not necessarily like trauma dump or anything about like the relationship, but just like go through like parenthood together, like single parenthood like together.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so like yeah, I yeah, most recent times it's just been like single, like me, like interested like in single dad.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like I don't think not saying that I could date somebody that doesn't have a kid, but like I said, like it would have to you would have to have much more you have to be much more mature to understand, you know what I'm saying?
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_04: Oh definitely, your duck's gotta be in a row.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: No question.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_04: Um, when should a single mom or single parent tell someone they're dating that she has um that they have children?
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: Right away.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_04: Immediately.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_04: Immediately or after if there's chemistry.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: Immediately.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: Immediately.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: Or for me at least, like immediately.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: I was I am never the one, the type to hide my daughter or that I have a daughter, like, no, yeah.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_04: Why do you think people do that?
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_04: Um Because I'm I'm up front with like oh, I have a kid, man.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_04: And then I wait, I'm like, you in, out, okay, bye.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_04: I guess like why do people why do you think people, single parents, are hiding that?
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe, maybe to protect their little ones' safety or maybe because when I first started getting into dating and I was like on the apps, I because you know, usually they have like a thing.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: They have an option where it says like, oh, has kids, no kids.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, see, we're talking about apps now.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, okay.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: No, but like, you know, yeah, like they have like um like do you tell them like you have a kid?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'll like I it's not that I was hiding my kid, but it's just that like I wasn't like putting it.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_04: You don't want you don't want your seed out there.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't known, yeah.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: But so like it was mostly like for like safety reasons, you know.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: But I also can understand where somebody I don't even want to say like hiding your kid, like not like hiding your kid, but not telling them not mentioning it, yes, not mentioning that you have a kid because like yes, they want to see like if you're even worth like your the the energy, you know, if it's gonna be serious because usually and I don't know if this is like with all single parents, but like usually if a single parent is gonna start dating, it's going to be like intentional.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, this is true.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_04: This is true.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: So um yeah.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_04: Hmm.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_04: Do um should your child ever have a say in who you're dating?
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_04: Do you think?
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean if they have I mean, like, if they don't like like them, if they don't vibe with them, like and they let me know, then obviously I'd have to have a conversation with my partner.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_04: What if you like the dude so much?
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_04: Like he checks all the boxes, right?
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_04: But your little one still doesn't like him.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't like him.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but like, doesn't like him in like what?
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_04: Like maybe maybe his eye is just too crooked, or or I don't know, man.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_04: He has something wrong with his like right arm that just pissed her off.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you know, like the little things where you're just like being like whatever.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, Wait, come on, like no, like uh but nene, my uh my daughter, um she's Nene.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_04: Like Shanene.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_04: Nene, yes.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh her name is Nevea Ann, but we call her Nene.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: She is she's a character, and she tells me like off the bat, she's very like, I don't even want to like be like one of those moms, but she is.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: She's very like intuitive, and so if she reads like somebody's like behavior, she knows that like they're like acting a weird type of way, like she's gonna act a certain a certain way to her, uh to them.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I will peep that and I'd be like, oh, okay.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like and then it later on it reveals itself, like, oh like yeah, you were weird, like you know, like that's why my kid don't like you.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_04: I think children under like I guess the age, I'm gonna say the age of seven, seven or eight, they do not lie.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_04: So whatever yeah, so whatever they say out their mouth, I'm taking I'm taking their word.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_04: You know, like if they say, por ejemplo, oh man, I see I see a Duende or I see a ghost, I'm like, fucking where?
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_04: You know, like like tell me where, like, I'm not gonna say, oh, they don't exist, I'm gonna be like, dog.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: No, for real.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_04: You don't know how to lie yet, so everything out of your mouth, I gotta take it.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: No, literally, yes.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: Cause you can tell, you can tell, like, when your kid is lying.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but no, yeah, like I definitely like go based off like her energy and like if she vibes with that person, like, or with whoever I'm dating at the time, I um what is it?
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I peep their uh their interaction with each other.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: Their mannerisms, their mannerisms, exactly, yeah.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_04: Good.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_04: Um, do you think single moms sometimes overlook the red flags because they don't want to be alone?
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_04: I could say that as for I could say that as for guys too.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, 100%.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I have, I can attest to that actually.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, absolutely.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_04: Because like Well, first of all, well what what was the red flag?
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_04: Like one of your boyfriends or ex Oh my god, there were so many.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, um Yeah, just one that like sp pops up.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: I guess the aggression, like Oh, yeah.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like popping off, like just being having a bad temper, I'd probably say.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_04: Um, were they parents too, or were they just no, this person was not.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_04: Go to therapy, guy.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: And he was, but it was still was.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_04: Really?
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was really bad.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um for me, I was one, so after uh me and her dad had split, I was one to like just get into relationship after relationship, or like I've always needed to be talking to somebody.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because I didn't want to be alone.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like I liked the attention, you know, like yeah, that's just a human nature thing to do.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like um, yeah, I just didn't want to be alone.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: So essentially you are going to look past the red flags from that person, and like, or you may not, you might, you might know it, like you're aware that it's there, but you allow it to happen to you.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so I don't think a lot of people understand that like when you keep allowing that, and then they un they know like, oh, like she's cool with that.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, she's gonna take advantage of you.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: So they know where to get you at that point, and so it's just really like knowing like your self-worth as a person, as a mom, as a dad, like what do you deserve and what do you not like not not what do you not, but what do you deserve, and like what do you allow someone to do to you and what do you not?
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, interesting.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_04: When you um finally realized these red flags, was there a conversation or was it just a I don't like it, you're done, type of situation?
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_04: Because with me, it was more of a I try to talk it out, but I'm done.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_04: It's like so I give I I give so I I give the notice.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_04: As in like, I notice this, talk it out.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_04: Then if like if it happens like one more time, I was like, alright, I gave you the notice, it's not working out.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_04: Um thank you for applying, you feel me?
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say I'm like that now.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: But before I was very delulu and I was very like once, like I kept getting hurt, oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry, oh it's okay.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: Do it again, oh I'm sorry, it's okay.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: Do it again, you know, like it was a pattern.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so like there was I literally like I remember I was just like so down bad um one day, and I was just like, you know, like I don't deserve this, and that's actually like when I had started like getting into my faith and stuff too.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was just like, you know what, like I don't deserve this, and so I just walked up and left.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_04: Really?
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_04: Hmm.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_04: This this might cut caveat off um this last one is I know my worth sometimes code for, I expect someone to meet the standards I haven't communicated.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, say that one more time, say that one more time.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, the whole question is is I know my worth sometimes code for I expect someone to meet standards I haven't communicated.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_04: You're very welcome.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_04: I'm good at this shit, yo.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, um, for me personally, no, I don't think or or like personally, are we talking about like in general?
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, let's talk about you.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so for when I say like, oh like I know my worth, that doesn't necessarily mean that like, oh like I expect somebody um to know like what I need.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's they don't know yet.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_04: They don't know.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_04: They don't know yet.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and like who am I?
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's so unfair.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I'm that's literally just being like selfish.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're saying, like, oh, like, yeah, like I'm the I'm the shit.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like you need to know already, like, you need to act like this, down, and third.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: And like there are girls out there that are like, oh, like, I don't need to train a man and like do this, down, and a third.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_04: They should already know.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_04: Like, a mentality.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm like, dude, but yeah, what if we don't know those?
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, because men don't.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: We really don't.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, like, men don't.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but for me, when I say like I know my worth, I think that means like it takes me to back to a place where like, oh, remember this time when you were like so damn bad, you were like in the darkness.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: You don't ever want to be like that ever again.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: So when I say like I know my worth, it means like I don't want you back down there anymore.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know what it's like at rock bottom and you know what it's like at the top now.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: So like don't go back down there.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_04: Like all the all the things that led you down there, that's the I don't want that.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_04: Like I know my worth section of the conversation.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: You've already been treated like ass.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why why would you go back down there?
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like all you can do is strive for more.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: All you can do is like, okay, so make a list of like what what is Curson like, what is Cursen not like?
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and I feel like when you're dating, when like people not even just like single parents, but just dating in general, yeah, you get a sense of like, oh, I like this in myself, oh, I like this in a person, in my partner, you know.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so I guess like just like nitpicking those.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_04: I think it's um when you're finding out these quirks, these positives and negatives of a person, it's um that's what you know, that's that dating stage, you know?
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_04: And when you come across the I don't like, I mean that's why that dating stage is so important because you do have those conversations.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_00: You have you have to have those hard conversations.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah, it's it's like I don't like it when, let's say, I don't like a a dirty bathroom, and then you're the person that for some reason Oh, let me take it back.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_04: And this this might be like a little bit of OCD, but the toilet paper, right?
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_04: There's a certain way a toilet paper goes, it goes over, not under, right?
• 38:30
  unknown: Okay.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, cool.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_04: I'm the type of person that or we're conversating, we're dating, I like my toilet paper like this.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_04: Now, if your toilet paper is like going down, it's a conversation worth having, saying, Hey man, you know I don't like it like this.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, it's not going down that rabbit hole, but it's one of those quirks where it's like, okay, she does like this, I'm gonna take that into consideration.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_04: I want to keep her, I'm gonna do that.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly that.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's where I was going with it.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly that whole like busted a whole soliloquy on that bitch.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_00: For real.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, exactly what I said.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are you what are you gonna allow and what are you not gonna allow?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because you cannot like the way somebody sleeps.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot like, you know, or like you cannot like the way that somebody like does a certain thing, but you're gonna allow it because like that doesn't make them them.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you know what I'm saying?
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, you eat like with your left hand and not your right.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna dump you.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's not a deal breaker, no.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yeah.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: So there are deal breakers, like, what are you gonna allow and what are you not gonna allow?
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_04: Aggression is one thing that you don't um you don't allow.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_04: What's one other thing that you don't?
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, of course, like the whole beating a woman thing is not there.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_04: But like, is there another thing that um that you don't allow?
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um like a non-negotiable?
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_04: Non-negotiable.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_04: Um like let's say this guy is just he has to have like the latest drawings, like the ones that just drop.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_04: That's like his thing.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_04: Is that a no-go?
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, like, could that be a no-go?
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: I mean that's your finances, like you know what I'm saying?
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like uh, if that's your thing, that's your thing.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but for But But you're potentially like seeing him as like a future person, right?
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_04: So that could de decrement, detriment, detriment regulations.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I guess I would say like like, for example, like yeah, if you're not good at like handling your money, uh-huh, right?
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because then that's essentially what it is.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not like really good at like handling your money.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_04: Um I don't like that at all.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_00: What doing that?
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_04: Like the Jordans?
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_04: The whole money thing.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_04: Like if you can't handle your own finances, uh, I really I really gonna work as a part like how are we gonna work as a partnership?
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you can't munch off me if I'm trying to like Yeah, facts.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_04: If I'm taking care of you and I'm trying to save for us as well, exactly.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_00: You can't make me go broke and I have to dip into my Exactly, and there are a lot of women I feel like, oh my gosh, and I don't even want to I mean no, we can bring up this topic.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_00: We can bring up the topic of like 50-50, like girl, like you know You know what's funny about that?
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_04: What I had my wife on the pod and we're talking about 50-50.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_04: And I told her realistically, it's it's 60, 40, 70, 30, 10.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_04: You know, and it's wherever.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's and it's because I was raised, you know, I was raised by my dad.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_04: And I was raised that the man has to take care of everything.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_04: Now that 30 or 40% that comes, you know, I'm like, fuck, thank God I got help, you know?
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_04: No facts.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_04: But we're I'm I'm programmed to get the tab to fill my wife's tank.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_04: Like that's like that's a gentleman, yeah.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's technically, or like society is like, you know, like men are like the provider.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, like I don't think it comes to an extent where like they always have to pay for everything.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, that part.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_04: We don't we don't want to pay for everything.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: And because I can also attest to that as well because I have been in a relationship where I was taking care of all the bills.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_00: A woman, okay?
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_00: A woman.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I wouldn't like to do that to like my man, essentially, you know what I mean.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because I've been through that, like I know how hard it is to just like have that financial plate on on just you, you know.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, go 50-50.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: You don't even have to be 50-50, but like do something like for your man, like even if like if or men do something for your women, yes, facts, yes, yes, yes, or vice versa, you know what I'm saying?
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, you know, if he's getting dinner, oh babe, like I can buy us a sweet treat.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, right, or the house will be clean when you get home and the dinner's good, you know.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, like you're pouring into each other like equally.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like just like one person is always like Poor, poor, poor.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, exactly.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_04: It gets exhausting.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_04: Like when you're uh when you're doing everything, right?
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, but then as a man, like as a as a married man too, I sometimes have to take a step back and see what like my wife's bringing to the table too.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_03: For sure.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_04: Cause it's like, okay, uh, I could I'm doing all this, but you know, I do see appointment because we we share a calendar.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_04: I see appointments being made or being dropped into our calendar.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, okay, she handled that.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_04: I'm seeing, you know, like, oh, we do have orange juice, and we didn't.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, she didn't do gross.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_04: The little things, like, I think as as men, we do need to like recognize that because sometimes we do we do get lost in the whole man, motherfucker, I'm fucking tired.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_04: I've been working.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_04: Like, we do get lost in that, and our I mean, our emotions do get the best of us sometimes.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_04: Not all the time.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_04: I'm working on myself, yeah.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_04: But it's um, yeah, just taking a step back and just noticing like the little, you know, oh shit, there's nothing on my foot.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_04: She vacuumed, you know?
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, that shit, yeah.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_00: Just like being like appreciative for like those things.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, you know, so like as a as a woman, like like say working as well, me as a husband that's not making that much money or that's staying as home.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna make sure that the house is clean when you get home.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_04: You know, clothes are are folded.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_04: You know, like when you come home to our room, the beds are I know the beds are gonna get messed up, but it's already it's it's clean.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_04: You feel me?
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_04: That's like one of my things.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_04: Like when I wake up and I I fix my bed because that's like my little W.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_04: We are adulting folks.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_04: We are adulting.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_04: Um what's one expectation?
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_04: What's one expectation you used to have that you eventually realized was unrealistic?
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_04: Mmm.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um I guess time.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um like when you say time as in like like say spending time or like no, like just giving time or like you know, like having like time and energy for somebody.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_00: So um so with me before, I used to like always want to like talk to my person.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I text or call or just like, you know, essentially like naturally, like you always like want to like talk to your person.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_04: Keeping the lines of communication open.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly, always like if I didn't get a text from you, I'd be like, uh like hello, like is happening.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_04: And then Does it matter if he's working?
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_04: Like if he's if he's if he's at a place where he cannot bring his phone.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: No, of course.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_04: Are you gonna No, I'm not tripping.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_04: Because you know the circumstance.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, of course.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_04: Not you.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_00: But then it's also like, so that's where I was about to get to.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_00: So like I've realized that when I was having those expectations on somebody of like always having like the communication line open of like always texting them like non-stop, you kind of like you're living in that world.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you get buried into your relationship.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and you're not you're not working on yourself, you're not thinking about yourself like yes, like you're doing like you're going to work and like you're doing like what you have to do, but like you're not really like working on yourself because you're so like what is my partner doing, or like what am I, you know, like where's he at right now?
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like that anxiety, that type of anxiety that you like curated through your relationship.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like your identity is like now your relationship.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but anywho, so I don't have that expectation anymore like for my partners because I obviously like have like found my worth.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like because obviously I didn't know, like I was I I can say this, like I was very like I needed male validation like all the time, and so once I found out like oh like a cursing like you can like just do stuff like by yourself and you'll be okay.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_00: So once you like start to not I don't even say like distract yourself, but like once you start like doing things like for yourself, you're not gonna get so caught up into your relationship where you need to be like talking to them like 24-7.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_04: Girl, let me tell you this.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_04: Um, back in the day, uh huh, um, when Twitter like just got first introduced, right?
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_04: I was posting everything and anything.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_04: Um, the person I was talking to, she's my wife now.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_04: She was posting everything and anything too.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_04: So when we would get together, we have nothing to talk about because I already know what happened throughout throughout the day.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm just like, it gets fucking dull.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_04: So there was a point where I unfollowed, or I like her?
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_04: I I muted.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_04: We weren't we weren't as serious, right?
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_04: So I muted, you know, I muted the conversation or I muted, you know, her profile because when I see her again, I'm like, all right, what did what did you do?
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, you know, like, yeah.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_00: The conversation like when you have like on the phone or like in person is like so much like better than like no I hate somebody that's just like, hey, hi, what you doing?
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_00: How's your day?
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, hi, what you doing, how's your day?
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, bro, like you know how my sounds so automatic.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, like you know how my robot.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you know how my day is already, you know my routine already.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why are you asking me this?
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like let's have a different conversation at this point.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_00: But no, that's that's definitely true.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's like when you're talking to them like throughout the day, like the whole entire day, you have nothing else.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_04: Nothing.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_00: At the end of the day, when you know, like when you come home to each other, you're like, oh, like I already know how your day went.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_00: So what should we talk about?
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_04: Right, exactly.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I like doing this with my kids like almost every day.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_04: Um I know like you know, they go to school.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_04: I like to pop in, well, what made you smile today?
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_04: Instead of asking out school or you know, I was like, oh, what you know, what's uh what game did you guys play at recess?
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's me too.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_04: I like to switch up the questions and it's like, oh, like I could see my kids like they they're more into the conversation like that.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because that's an interesting question to ask.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the same thing like with like uh like with adults too.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you're not gonna keep asking everybody like oh, like what's your favorite color?
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, like why you should already know motherfucker, yeah, right?
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, like just be like interactive with it.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you already like know like how your kid is, especially it's like okay, I know what to ask them.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like instead of like, oh, like what'd you have for lunch today?
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, what would you do what'd you do with your friends today?
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like what made you smile today?
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_00: What made you laugh?
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_00: What's something that what's something that you learned today that you didn't know before?
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, did you learn something from school today, you know?
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like always asking like those questions.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah, the uh I think when you're dating or like you know, talking to someone, when you pop off like the most unusual questions, I do that all it keeps them on their toes, you know?
• 49:55
  unknown: I do.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_04: It's like how many times did you fart today?
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_04: Holy fuck.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_04: Uh you know, three in a splatter, you know what I'm saying?
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_04: Like I do that all.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_04: I like it keeps it um interest, it keeps the it keeps it more interesting.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_00: Stupid scenarios all the time.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_00: Scenarios are fucking awesome.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_04: They're awesome.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, literally.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, next question.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_04: Would you rather have someone who meets 80% of your standards but treats you incredibly well, or someone who checks every box but doesn't make you feel emotionally safe?
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: No, the first one.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_04: Uh you'd rather have someone that's 80% of your standards but treats you incredibly well.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_00: 80% of my standards?
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_04: Mm-hmm.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's pretty good.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_04: 80 is good.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_04: That's that's a passing B, goddammit.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, that's not bad.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, hell no! 80%?
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's really good.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_00: 80% of my standards and what?
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_00: And treats me really good?
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely 100%.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_04: No need to go.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_04: Um, let's see.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_04: Have dating apps made dating easier or just given people more options and more problems?
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_04: I had this conversation with uh with an old um guest.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_04: And we know dating apps, right?
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_04: And I asked her if, you know, on these dating apps, because there's a lot of brokies on there, should they include um their credit score on these dating apps?
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_04: So if you see the if you see these dating, I mean if you see these um these credit scores, one, it could mean you know, he's really good with his finances, therefore he might have a good job, or he's just really good at being um responsible.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_04: If he had a bad credit score, it's you could uh there's the argument of maybe he was just he he spent everything as a teen and he's rebuilding.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_04: Or maybe he is just really bad at money.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_04: So the end of the the end of that was with okay, shoe she's a girl talking about guys.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um you could always fix a credit score, but you cannot fix the man.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was literally just going to say that.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_00: Look at that! Literally, like, I was just gonna say that because I feel like it doesn't even matter like what your credit score is, and especially like because you're the question was like, should they put it like on a dating app?
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think you should like put it on a dating app, like we're because your dating app is essentially like your resume, like somebody like that's I've never been on the app, so can you tell me you say it's your resume, right?
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_00: So what resume, yeah.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_04: Kirsten, what do you see on the like what uh makes you I guess what is it slide left, slide right, or double tap?
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_00: Uh uh yes, swipe right.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_00: Swipe what makes you swipe right?
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_04: What makes you swipe the right?
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm looking at your prompts.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, okay, so on the dating app, so I when I was using the dating apps, I don't use the dating apps anymore.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: Good for you, girl.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, no, yeah.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_00: Good for you.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need it.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um it shows so you can put your pictures, your pictures, and then there's usually like three to four prompts.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_00: So like hinge.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you've heard of hinge.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_04: I've heard of hinge.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, so on never used it.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so on hinge, the prompts, there are prompts and be like, oh, like what does your typical Sunday look like?
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_00: Or like um they're just like these little things, and then you can put like your answers to them.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_00: I look at the answers to the prompts.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like of course, like I'll look at like your pictures, and if you're attractive, yes, but then I want to see how your personality is.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_04: So let me ask you this these answers, right?
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_04: Are you what what catches your eye more?
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_04: Is it the one-liners, or is it can you like type a paragraph?
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_00: You can type a paragraph if you want.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, do you actually read the paragraphs or is it the first two sentences that get you right away?
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_00: Usually, like I'll the the one or two liners like get me to laugh.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because if it's a whole paragraph, like to get your point across and like honestly, like it's too much for that.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 53:51
  SPEAKER_04: Save it for the actual date.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's exactly.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, okay, gotcha, exactly.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's exactly.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but no, yeah, so like on your hinge or whatever dating app you have, it's basically like a resume.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_00: So when you put like personal information on there, you know, like your credit score, or like that you have kids, you can put like, oh, like that you have kids on there, or what else?
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a cat or dog, you can put like your sign, what school you went to, you can put like a whole bunch of stuff on there.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_04: Is that um cringy to you when you see that?
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_04: Um when you go on the profile and it goes as the you know their headliner, 6'7 basketball player All State number 24 goes to UCLA.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_04: Is that is that um is that cringy to a female?
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_04: Is that cringy?
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_04: Because I've heard someone say hilarious.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_04: Like it is you're putting your whole stats up, that's cringy.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_00: Your whole stats up is wild, but like I under, okay, like being an athlete, like you'll never know nowadays, huh?
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because Dejaan Love, have you heard about that?
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_04: I heard of him.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_04: He plays for the Niners, I heard.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_00: He does.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he plays for the Niners, man.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_00: But like, yeah, I mean, if you're an athlete and you're just putting, like, you know, like where you played.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_00: Number 32 wide receiver.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's cool.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's it.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_04: If you put in your height and your weight.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you doing that?
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are what was it called?
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_00: The the highlights that you used to put up?
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like on your Vimeo?
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_00: Was it like Oh, I know what it's called?
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_00: I forgot what it's called.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like the the link of it.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_00: But like when people remember when they would always be like, oh yeah, like watch my highlights and yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh my gosh, like nobody's gonna watch your highlights, bro.
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you're not even, yeah.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_04: So cringy.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_04: So freaking cringy.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_04: Um, what happens is simply okay, uh situation situationships.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_04: Oh are they a legitimate form of dating or just commitment without accountability?
• 55:53
  SPEAKER_04: Oh bam!
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_00: You really put me on the spot here.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um I would say a form of dating.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_04: Form of dating or just commitment without accountability.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, accountability, like what do you mean by that?
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like like having the title, like not having the title.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, yeah.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_00: But you're committed to each other.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're not talking to anybody else.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're exclusive.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_00: Have you watched Love Island?
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_04: I've w I've watched several episodes with my wife.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_04: Me watching it alone, never gonna happen.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_00: Of course.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_00: But so like on Love Island, they have these terms like exclusive or like closed off, right?
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_00: That means like they're not talking to anybody else.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_04: Closed off meaning it's just me and you.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, yep.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_04: Exclusive meaning it's just me and you, but we're out there.
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's exclusive.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_00: Exclusively, exactly, exactly.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so is that like what that means?
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_00: So like you know, like committed but having like no accountability.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_04: Commitment without the accountability.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say that we're closed off, but we're not in the public.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so let's say you got a wedding to go to.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_04: I don't have to go to that wedding, but you're I'm your man.
• 56:59
  SPEAKER_04: I would want to go, I should be wanting to go to the wedding with you, right?
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, facts.
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_04: But we don't, you know, like we don't have the label.
• 57:06
  SPEAKER_04: Therefore, I'm not going to that wedding.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_04: You could go on your own.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oof.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_04: That's the that's the accountability part of that.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I okay, cuz because that is a situationship, but also the other one, what was the other uh so situationships are they a legitimate form?
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_04: So is it a legitimate form of dating or just commitment without accountability?
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_04: So it's like that's that it's that situationships are legit um commitment without accountability.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_00: But it is also a form of dating.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you think about it, like you are dating that person, but you're just not gonna be able to do that.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_04: So basically it's like an open relationship.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_04: Can you can you can you attest to that?
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_04: Like, do you think that could be it?
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_00: There's different situations.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like situationship, oops.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like situationship is like the main topic, and there's subtopics to situationships.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_01: If that makes sense.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because you could have a situation ship where you guys are only doing the nasty with each other.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's a situation ship.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_00: There's also situationships where you're like, you know, like you guys are seeing each other, you're dating out, you're dating, you're closed off, but there's no title to it, and then the same thing, like, oh, like, there's a situationship where you're dating and there's no accountability.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, or you're committed, there's no accountability.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_04: That's like being married, however, you're just taking care of the kids.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_04: There's no physical interaction anymore.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_04: Could that be a situation?
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_04: Some sort of marriage situationship.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_04: It's like you're Ooh, yes.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because there's like there's like no like physical, like, yeah, like the emotional aspects not there, but you're just married.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_04: You're just married.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you have the title of marriage.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, absolutely.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_00: That is that is a marriage situation ship.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, like there is yeah, so I feel like situationship is like a very touchy subject to talk about because there's so many, like there's so many subcategories.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly.
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because like now, because if you're not in a situation ship, you're boyfriend and girlfriend, or you're single.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I'm saying?
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_00: Or married or whatever, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_04: I think well, okay, so looking at my my aunts and my uncles, like their marriage and everything, I think they're in a lot of them, I think they're in some sort of situationship where uh they are not intimate with each other, they're just there now because one, they have nowhere else to go.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_04: Just chilling.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, they're just chilling just together.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_04: Like they're they're married, they're just together.
• 59:38
  SPEAKER_04: The intimacy, the emotional aspect of everything is just not there anymore.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_00: I know some marriages like that as well.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's kind of sad.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_04: It is.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_04: It's like, why why do you think they're so hesitant to break loose from that marriage?
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um probably the comfortability part already.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, because you hear a lot of I'm a bad bitch.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm a man.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_04: You hear a lot of this, but they're they're not splitting.
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they're not standing on business.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_00: But then also I feel like it's easy to say that when you're not married.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but like, you know, like when you're married, it takes a lot to have a divorce.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_04: That's this is true.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_04: This is what I've um this is what I've heard.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_04: It does take a lot.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so like money-wise, time-wise, and especially if you have kids too, like it'd be a lot.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I understand like why people do stay in their marriages for their kids.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_00: I will never be that, but um, um, no, I've I understand.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can I can understand why that happens.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but have you ever been married?
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_00: I have not.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_04: Are you um let's say that day comes, right?
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_04: Are you a one and done?
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_04: Or are you like, if it doesn't work, I'm because you just said to yourself, if it's not working, I'm out of here.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so that's what I'm saying.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_00: So like I need to like make sure, like, you know, when I am dating, when somebody is pursuing me, I need to make sure like that's and if I can see somebody like I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with, yes, I need to be making the right decision because once I get married, it's done.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't believe in I mean, yes, of course, divorce is real, but I don't believe in divorce.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't see myself.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_04: You're willing to work it out with your partner.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, 100%.
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what it's supposed to be about.
• 1:01:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're a team.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I told my cause uh I'm my wife's second husband, right?
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_04: So uh I told her, like, she's my one and done.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_04: If we don't work out, I'm never getting married again.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_04: Like, if I'm just like totally exhausted, I can't, yeah, I just can't do it anymore.
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_04: Like, of course, divorce is there, right?
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_04: But I'm not gonna I'm just gonna get married again.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_04: I'm just gonna be a hoe.
• 1:01:58
  unknown: You know what I'm saying?
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_04: And I told her straight up, I was like, yo, I'll hit you up too.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I'm you're gonna be cheating on your new man, and I'm that dude.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_04: I'm dude.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but I told her I'm the one and done, I'm the one and done type of guy.
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I was before that, I was I was totally not for getting married.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, really?
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_04: Because my dad, you know, like single parent, right?
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_04: Like I grew up single parents.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_04: And I was just like, dude, fuck that.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_04: You know, this it's too much.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_04: But then, you know, I guess the person who fell in love with the right person came along.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_04: Uh none of this sassy shit.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_04: Fuck that.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_04: She could come say.
• 1:02:33
  SPEAKER_04: No, no, but no, it it came along and I was like, alright, cool, we can all do it.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_04: But um, yeah, one and done.
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_04: I like that one and done thing.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_04: Me too.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_04: Because um, for sure.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_04: Dude, it's it's it's very difficult, especially for if we have a kid, yeah, to go through like second, third, fourth marriage.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I'm saying?
• 1:02:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we're not doing that.
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not doing that to her.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to have like I want her to see me like beloved by somebody.
• 1:03:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_00: So like I want her to grow up in a house.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, obviously, like I know that she knows that me and her father aren't together, but that doesn't mean that like we don't do we're not deserving of love.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you know, so like he and he has a girlfriend, like he has been with his girlfriend for like almost three years, I believe, and they're awesome, like they're doing great, and so I'm glad that she gets to see like you know their relationship.
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so now when it comes to me, it's like I know she won't like wants to see me be loved as well.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so is it is it more of mommy is still looking for the right one, or is it more of mommy is working on herself, making sure she's right for that one to come when when that one comes?
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_00: Both.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay, okay.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 1:03:45
  SPEAKER_00: Both, okay.
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, that was good.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you're you're very welcome.
• 1:03:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:03:49
  SPEAKER_04: Give me some.
• 1:03:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I know what I'm talking about, guys.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_04: Um, last one.
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um what type of advice could you give yourself?
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_04: Let's say um before kid.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:04:03
  SPEAKER_04: What kind of advice would you give yourself if you were able to, you know, go back to the past.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_04: Meet younger Kirsten.
• 1:04:11
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:04:11
  SPEAKER_04: You know, she was being a hood rat, you know, being ratchet, you know, fucking in all this, smoking.
• 1:04:16
  SPEAKER_04: What advice would you give her?
• 1:04:18
  SPEAKER_00: Just in general.
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_04: Just in yeah, just in general.
• 1:04:21
  SPEAKER_00: Wrap it up, be um, okay.
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_00: So before I had a kid, I was I had just turned 21.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but this is during COVID.
• 1:04:29
  SPEAKER_00: But anywho, so I would tell, I guess I would say like between like 18 and 21-year-old Kirsten, um, that you need to give yourself grace.
• 1:04:42
  SPEAKER_00: You need to be nice to yourself, you need to be kind to yourself.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_00: I know sometimes things may not go your way, but it's okay.
• 1:04:52
  SPEAKER_00: You need to go through those experiences in order to you need to go through those setbacks in order to come back.
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_01: So that's valid.
• 1:05:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:05:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um what else would I say?
• 1:05:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also say to also just like work on yourself.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you don't have to people please everybody.
• 1:05:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um the biggest validation that you can get is from yourself, and once you have that self-love for yourself, everything is gonna go your way, and you don't have to let anybody tell you what to do, what to wear, how to control you, because you are you and you're gonna make your decisions at the end of the day.
• 1:05:42
  SPEAKER_04: Amen.
• 1:05:42
  SPEAKER_04: Because it's a Sunday, right?
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_04: What uh and one more uh message for the single mamas out there.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh single mamas.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_04: Single mamas out there.
• 1:05:54
  SPEAKER_00: You are doing an amazing job raising your little ones, and I want you to know that you are the baddest bitch out there.
• 1:06:03
  SPEAKER_00: You are the reason why our next generation is going to be the way that they are.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I know sometimes it can be hard, especially if you are doing it by yourself with no support system, but just know that it's going to get better and you need to show up for yourself before you can show up for your kids and make sure that your mental is always right.
• 1:06:30
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure that you take a shower and you feed yourself.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_00: Do not neglect yourself.
• 1:06:36
  SPEAKER_00: I know these kids are stressing you out because you have to take care of them, but please, please take care of yourself before all of that because they need to see that their mom has is in good mental and yeah, that's that's really it.
• 1:06:54
  SPEAKER_04: I like that.
• 1:06:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um, there's nothing wrong in seeking help as well.
• 1:06:58
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, yeah, definitely don't be um oh, there's a word for it.
• 1:07:04
  SPEAKER_04: Don't be too proud not to seek help.
• 1:07:07
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 1:07:08
  SPEAKER_04: No, you have to like put your ego down aside and you got to you know, talk to a non-biased person.
• 1:07:13
  SPEAKER_00: You got to or a psychologist.
• 1:07:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, find community, like a community of moms or whatever it may be.
• 1:07:21
  SPEAKER_00: Community of moms, that's a good one.
• 1:07:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, you have to you like in order, you know, somebody to talk to that can relate to your situation.
• 1:07:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you're talking to like a friend that doesn't even have kids, they're not gonna understand.
• 1:07:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be hard for them to be like empathetic to your situation.
• 1:07:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, of course they can be there for you, but they're not really like there for you.
• 1:07:43
  SPEAKER_00: If that makes sense.
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_04: That does make sense.
• 1:07:46
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my gosh.
• 1:07:46
  SPEAKER_04: Kirsten, that was fun.
• 1:07:47
  SPEAKER_04: Um, do you have any shout-outs or anything?
• 1:07:49
  SPEAKER_04: Or um, where can these people uh find you at?
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you can find me.
• 1:07:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my personal account is underscore Kirsten Ortiz on Instagram, and then my fitness page is k10.lifts on Instagram.
• 1:08:03
  SPEAKER_00: TikTok is k10lifts.
• 1:08:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yes.
• 1:08:06
  SPEAKER_00: And if you ever need help with your fitness journey, if you're getting into it, um, you're beginning with it, hit me up.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I am at UFC Y Kelly, and I can also do online or hybrid training as well.
• 1:08:21
  SPEAKER_04: Wow, YKelle, UFC.
• 1:08:23
  SPEAKER_00: UFC Y Kelly, yeah.
• 1:08:24
  SPEAKER_04: Do you fight too?
• 1:08:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, no, I don't.
• 1:08:27
  SPEAKER_04: Thank fucking god, man.
• 1:08:28
  SPEAKER_04: We have enough fighters out here as it is.
• 1:08:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a lover.
• 1:08:33
  SPEAKER_04: KO Studos, thank you for the lovely home.
• 1:08:35
  SPEAKER_04: Raphe by always momin.
• 1:08:36
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you for the lovely bee.
• 1:08:38
  SPEAKER_04: And with that being said, I'm Chris.
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Kirsten.
• 1:08:40
  SPEAKER_04: And we have this bitch.
• 1:08:42
  SPEAKER_04: Peace.