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Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Thirty Minutes Of Screaming · High n' Dry Podcast

• 0:15
  SPEAKER_05: Just dive on in.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_05: This uh this podcast today is just gonna be about women screaming.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_05: Is uh is what what I took away from from that rewatch.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_05: Jesus.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: I just I just want to make sure that we all watched the uh the uh 2022 version, right?
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, good.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_03: I also wanted to clarify that, so I'm happy.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, wait, what?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_05: Sons of bitches.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_05: But I'm pretty sure I've waited no, I watched the 1974 one.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_05: I feel like I've seen the 2022 anyway, so I would have to do that.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: I do watch the 2022 one.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: God damn it, Luke.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_02: I swear to God, I swear to God.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: God damn it.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_03: I even had I I was so excited because it was on Tubi.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, oh, I have Tubi.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's free out.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: You didn't, did you?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: I swear to God, this is not a bit.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: I I watched the 2022, and that's what I'm giving the rating for today.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, fine.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: All right, fine.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds good.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everybody.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the next one.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's my apologies.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_04: I messed that up.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_05: I'm your host, Ryan Barron North.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_05: With me as always, James Groslin.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_05: Luke uh returning again after his transcontinental uh balloon ride.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_05: Um glad to have him back on the show.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_05: We, of course, are the only podcast keeping alive the fandom of Doug Funny and Snake Bite Piercings.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: Snakebite Piercings are awesome.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: Women with snake bite piercings are hot as shit.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_05: No, it's fun uh seeing uh you know, like uh women now that you know my age, and you could still see the scars.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: They should keep the piercings in, they're great.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_05: They're awesome.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_05: But I'm like, an act uh elder emo right here.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_05: Remember those?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_05: Good times, good times.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_05: Not a lot of times.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: There's gonna be a bunch of and in uh and there's in in funeral and no, not funeral in like elderly homes, there's gonna be like uh there's gonna be old emo people going, I miss you.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_05: I'm ready for it.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_05: It's gonna be great.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's cool.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, assuming there are gonna be any sort of assisted care facilities left for us after every single one.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, that's right.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_05: They're gonna just take us out back and shoot us.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, we're just gonna get shot.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_05: So that would have been nice.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_05: That would have been cool.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_05: You know, turned into pig feed.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_04: Pig feed sounds kind of nice.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, we're just gonna replace the beef, so that's it.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_05: Allegedly.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_05: Allegedly.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_05: Allegedly.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_05: I'm sure it's all fresh, that shit got.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sure.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_05: Well, we're not actually gonna be talking about snakebite piercings and who's replacing the beef.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_05: What we are gonna be talking about is Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1979 slash 2022.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_05: 74.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_05: 74.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_05: 74.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_05: And uh, you know, we're gonna be doing it in a way guaranteed to get you the most bang for your podcasting buck.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_05: First, we're gonna rate it out of five stars.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_05: The definitive rating can no longer be argued, regardless of how many movies we rate simultaneously.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_05: Then we will be diving into the golden path and talking about the deeper meanings of this uh this borg of film.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_05: And then finally, we will insert ourselves drugs or alcohol into the film, and what makes it so special and fun is that we will be doing it uh under the influence of various drugs, alcohols, and what have you.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_05: So uh fellows, uh, what are you bringing to the table this week?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: Oh gosh, I have I think it's cher cherry something.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: Cherry.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_03: For sure cherry, no clue what the other part of it is.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_02: Hell yeah.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_02: Very nice.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: I've got oh uh I got a good story about cherry AK really quick.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: So this is very early into my smoking weed days.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I got a pre-roll for free from a dispensary, and and it was cherry AK was the strain.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: And Sarah and I went to Golden Corral and smoked it in the car beforehand.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: And then we and then and it like it was like we were ravenous when we got in there, and then we and we got paranoid, and we were like sitting there eating, and then we're like, oh my god, they're gonna find out we're cheating, like like somehow having smoking weed first was illegal against policy because you eat more.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_05: Oh fuck, that's so funny.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_05: Carried out.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: You two are so high, that's against the rules.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: It lets you eat more.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: You get out right despite.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: But anyway, uh, I'm gonna have coffee with Ube Cream liqueur in it.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: Hell yeah.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_05: And I will be joining you with uh just bringing back an old favorite of mine, just knob creek, 100 horsepower, 50% alcohol, um, guaranteed to get you right.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_05: Now age nine years, supposedly.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_05: So it tastes even more chemically than usual.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_05: So all right, fellas, welcome.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_05: First toast, first hit, this one.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_05: We have a little spot, we're a little pivot here.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_05: Uh we get this first toast goes out to the late Tim Curry and Dolly Parton.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_03: Cheers to go to good ones.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_02: Cheers to Lindsey Graham.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and I saw that uh uh a lot of uh heartfelt uh you know messages going out to Miss Piggy, who in two days lost a mentor and a lover.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_05: So it's uh that's pretty tough.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_05: That's pretty tough.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_05: I did do a watching of Rocky Horror Picture Show before I flipped on Texas Chainsaw Masker today, just uh out of out of respect.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_05: So you know.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: I thought you would have watched what was the in Muppet Treasure Island?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: Is that the one?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: I thought you would have watched that one.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_05: Uh the The Night is Young.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna watch uh Clue.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well I watched that.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: I watched that three days before he died.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_02: Clue is a really good one.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_02: Fantastic film.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: Fantastic.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_05: Well, now it's to them.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_05: So second toast, second shot, second hit.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_05: This one goes out to our newest listeners.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_05: This one was kind of interesting.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_05: So we've had uh some listeners coming in from Nishi Hashimoto of Kanagawa.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_05: And now, also in Japan, we're getting Minato of uh Tokyo.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_05: So uh a few people there popping up in uh it's probably the same thing that's going on in England, where the entire town gets together and watches at a single bar, so we only get one listen out of them.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: So it probably the Tokyo Ministry of Affairs plays it on loudspeakers for all of Tokyo, but it only counts as one listen.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_05: So yeah, so hey Tokyo.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you, all of Tokyo.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thank you, all of Tokyo.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Uh here's to you.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: 20 million people or whatever.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: Cheers.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: Cheers.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_02: Who some bitch.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yummy.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_05: Your pen coming together.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_05: There it is.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_05: I see the smoke billowing out of you now.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_03: It was uh it's slightly dead, so I'm charging now between the channel.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm trying to hit it while it's charging.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_03: No, because it's uh one it's the classic ones that screw into the same.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's a it's a it's an OG.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_05: Very nice.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_05: Very nice.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_05: Well, final toast.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_05: Well, not final, but uh you get the idea.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_05: This one goes out to our film this week.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_05: Mr.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_05: Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_03: Cheers.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_03: I also wanted to be on record that the original 1974 is the Texas Chainsaw Mascara in all three messages that were sent.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_03: It is just Texas Chainsaw Master sent.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_03: So my confusion was at least a little valid.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_05: Like, I you said that it was like your mom's favorite.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_05: I like it.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: We assumed you meant horrible taste in movies.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: We didn't assume you meant the movie from four years ago.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: She's like, this is my favorite.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_03: She fucking loves yeah, I guess that's true.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_03: I guess that's true.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_03: Fair enough, fair enough.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_03: Well, she just loves the franchise in general.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_03: I suppose God damn it.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_03: That's all bitch.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_05: Alright, well, from now on in the in the in the group chat, where we gotta put it in.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: We'll put a number.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_02: We'll put a number after the title.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, please.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_02: Also, this one was is the original like better because this one fucking sucked.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: We'll talk about it.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_05: Also, I want to say if you want to know if it's better, just it's easily the last 30 minutes straight of that movie.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_05: Like no exaggeration.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds fun.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the back half of the movie, it's all screaming.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's all screaming.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_05: Nonstop.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_05: Well, well, should we do a uh I guess a 2022 sandwich then?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_05: James, you want to start this off?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_05: Uh yeah, I'll go ahead and you want me to give the summary.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: Well, so uh for those of you who are familiar.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, yeah, go ahead.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: If you're you're somehow unfamiliar with what the Texas Chainsaw Massacre is, it's fucking in the name.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, there's a chainsaw, there's a massacre and it occurs in Texas.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's about it.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: You pretty much there's a uh you pretty much got it.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so it's so the movie kicks off with some uh b-roll footage of of a of a kind of uh altar of corpse bits, uh, and and and like a radio announcement that uh that that someone has been grave robbing and creating uh you know uh grotesque statue statues of body parts.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: And then we're introduced to our party of five young, young-ish people as they uh drive it.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_02: They're from the city, they're all made up like city folk.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_02: Uh they've got like clean clothes on.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like their hair is brushed, so you know they're from the city.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: And they have them hairs brushed.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, through with the white bell bottoms, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody else, nobody, nobody, nobody in Texas is wearing those.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_05: No, no, no, no, no.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_05: No.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: But uh, they are from somewhere else, and they're driving in a van, and uh they pick up uh hitchhiker who is clearly erratic.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_05: Which was which was insane.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, as soon as like, nope, kick him out the back.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: Get the fuck out.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Get the fuck out of the van.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: You're acting crazy.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta leave.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, but he he flips out at something minor and slashes at a at the guy in the wheelchair.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, there's a guy in a wheelchair, by the way.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: After cutting himself.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, after cutting himself, he cuts a guy in the he lashes out and cuts a guy in the wheelchair.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: They kick him out.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: But there was a good like five minutes between cutting himself and cutting that guy, and they still didn't get him the fuck out of the van.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: He's sitting in the I'll talk about it, but he was sitting in the van and they were doing this camera switch between like him and everyone else on the other side, being like, what the fuck?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: But but anyway, uh they get to a gas station and the guy there says they're out of gas, and so and he asks them to hang around, uh, but they decide to go to their nearby family estate that uh that one of their relatives left them in Texas that's decrepit.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: Uh they go there uh and as they start to explore this dilapidated property, they uh uh they wander away from it and uh and just into into another rando's house.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, just wander around and into another person's house, and that other person happens to be a chainsaw murderer wearing wearing another person's face.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: The tale is old as that's that's how the film progresses.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_05: There's like it just happens, then it's then after that, it's just a bunch of screaming.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_03: And then it's the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_05: Well, and I I did watch the 2022 one in on Netflix, so I looked it up, and so Luke, I have seen yours as well.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_05: And yeah, yours was hot ass.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so uh so we so we get some gruesome kills there, and uh just really quick.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I honestly I don't know about gruesome.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: We'll talk about it, but we get some kills there, and he kills two of the five, uh, and then and then later another one goes looking for him and he dies, and then and then the last two go looking, and they all just end up in the walking into this house.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_05: Did they have the survival instincts of I I don't I don't fucking know.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_05: I like there's one creature alive that has their survival like it's like walking into a roach motel.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: They're all just they're all just walking into this roach motel.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's very weird.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, we find out that uh the uh the the the woman is one of the women escapes, Sally, escapes after uh Franklin, her brother wheelchairman, dies.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: And uh and she she escapes, she gets back to the gas station where we find out that the guy who is in charge of the gas station is part of the family of of uh uh Leatherface, Chainsaw Killer, and he abducts her and takes her back to the house, and then and from here on out, it's all screaming.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: Uh it was it was screaming for several minutes before that, but then it was quiet when they were talking.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: Now it's all screaming.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: There literally nothing happens except screaming from here on out.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's all screaming.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's fucking wild.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: Straight for real?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_02: It's like it's all screaming.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: 30 minutes.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: I I was I was I wrote a note that I'm so tired of listening to this woman saying.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_05: I turned it down.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_05: I had to turn it down a little bit.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_05: Just like there's people in the house.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um so uh so then then then then hitchhiker comes along.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: We learn that he was part of the family, uh, and so all three of them are part of the family, and they have a they bring down grandpa in a wheelchair who's like uh he's old and decrepit like the house, and uh tries to get her tries to get them, tries to tries to use grandpa's hand to kill her.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and then uh and she manages to get away, and Leatherface chases her, and she hops in a truck in Leatherface, back of a truck that's going by, and Leatherface is all upset.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the end of the movie.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's it.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: That's the end of the movie.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_05: I think I I think I hit every beat.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, no, you hit every beat of that film.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_05: You hit every beat of that film.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_05: Uh 2022, obviously, a little different, but uh essentially on the same.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_03: It honestly so basically that woman who gets away, she's uh hunting Leatherface in the next one, and it's a group of influencers who uh are basically trying to gentrify a town.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_03: Uh that's and they and they activate Leatherface while they're trying to gentrify.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: They activate him, yeah, and then he goes at killing.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: Uh wait, so is the premise that he was there and alive the whole time, or is he like uh male?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_02: He's like an old man, supernatural evil.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: He's like an old man.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: Which also has nothing to do with anything.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: He is not weaker, he is not slower, he is not he like this isn't he's supposed to be 78 or something.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: Bro, this is like a like 28-year-old NFL linebacker.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_05: Like, just I'm like well as as Texas progressed, he became more of an entity than um anything.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_05: He's like Jason, what's the best?
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_05: He became more of a the first one.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: You're saying the first one's the best one?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_05: The first one's the best one of all of them.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_05: After that, they are absolute ass.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_05: The only reason to take a pit stop in between is because uh Jessica Beale.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_05: Jessica Beale.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_05: Ooh, Jessica Beale.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, in 2003, Jessica Beale, hot damn.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, she's white tank topping it.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_05: Um, that's the only reason to watch anything in between.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_05: So and yeah, he just becomes more and more supernatural.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_05: Um because anyone with any sense at any point in the past 70-some years would have just shot his ass.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_02: So um well, uh I'll start with my literally the Texas like they talk about in the beginning, they're like the Texas chainsaw massacre was discovered.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_02: So like they would have if if they're like they're like or were they ever like who used this chainsaw?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: Because then the dude would be in jail or dead or whatever, right?
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_05: That'd be the end of it.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_05: That'd be the end of it.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_05: So yeah, eventually they they just they made a more.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't know.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_05: So well, uh so for me, uh so the thing about this one.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's a hard watch.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_05: It's 30 minutes of fucking screaming.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_05: It is the best one of the entire series.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_05: I I've seen them all.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_05: This has never been my favorite series.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_05: Like I watched uh I saw the first one like when I was less than 10 years old.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_05: And like, especially the meat hook and things like that.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_05: It's just shit that a 10-year-old probably shouldn't have been watching.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_05: It was still banned in Sweden when I watched this the first time.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_05: Interesting.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_02: And Sweden's not gory, like the imagery is sometimes bad, but like you never see blood, you never see like flesh or gore.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_05: It's very heavily implied.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_05: It's just a lot of like really intense violence.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, a lot of intense violence that's implied.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_05: And it was always the hook for me putting a screaming woman on a meat hook that uh that got me the first time I when I was younger.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_05: But um the things to keep in mind though about the first one, like this is where we first saw the gas station trope.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_05: Um this is where we first really made ourselves comfortable with a highly appropriate stereotype of uh these small towns.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, if you've ever lived in a small town, there's fucking crazy shitty yokels who are who are brainless cannibals.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: That's what it's exactly what it's like.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, there's always this uh this push that cities are dangerous.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_05: Cities are dang, but as soon as you calculate any sort of population data or anything like that, nah, no, they ain't.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_05: No, they ain't per capita.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_05: Cities are just fine.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_05: It's these little shithole towns where you're gonna run into the most depraved, fucked up shit you've ever encountered in your life.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_04: Mm-hmm.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_05: Uh just these these terrible people are allowed to breed and flourish in a town like Texas.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_05: So uh the town of Texas.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_05: In the town of Texas.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_05: So, I mean, what what you had here?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_05: It was an indie film um that uh really threw a made on a budget of$140,000.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, an indie film that did a lot of wild stuff for horror.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_05: So, I mean, for me, acting here it was mainly the main cast, like the survival, like the the teens in the van um that really sucked at acting.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_05: Um, like when they were having conversations in the van, it was so awkward and uncomfortable.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: And like, who talks about like what are we doing?
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_05: And it was so bizarre.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_02: Have you ever driven through Texas?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta you scroll through a lot of conversation topics, yeah.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_05: Like, and like the these people were dumb.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_05: Like these people were dumb.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_05: But I like for as much screaming as there was, I I feel like realistically in a situation like this, there'd be a lot of fucking screaming.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's true.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_05: And and she screamed really well, you know, uh, to the point where it's like, okay, this is just okay, enough, enough.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_05: Good screaming, the the the you know, your the general everyday Texas family that they were trying to portray here, very true to life.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and I felt that they um acted it very well.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_05: Um, so very well done.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_05: Very well done.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_02: How many?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, all of us who lived who have lived in small towns, how many have you walked into where you see a corpse effigy of like hip bones and arms and shit like that?
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_05: If I had a nickel.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_05: If I had a nickel.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_02: So I'd be able to play two games of Galica.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_05: So acting, I'm gonna give the acting on this one a uh 2.5.
• 22:42
  unknown: Okay.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_05: Cinematography.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_05: I thought I I feel that the intro to this is is incredibly well done, um, especially for the time frame.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I feel the claustrophobia, the the shots inside the house, I feel a lot of it is very well done.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_05: The intro to the original 74 Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I think, is just the fact that it's indie, the fact like it evokes so much you're already feeling just kind of creeped out within the first 60, 120 seconds.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_05: So really well done there.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_05: Budgeted cinematography, really well done.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_05: Some of the outdoor stuff is a little clunky, but uh yeah, it's it's decent.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_05: It's decent.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_05: So for that uh cinematography, I give it a 3.5.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_05: Uh score.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_05: The you know, this does have like as soon as you hear that chicken cage screech with the like the the lens flutter, that sound that they create at the beginning of Texas Chainsaw that nonsense, you know what you're watching.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_05: Um it is uh incredibly recognizable, and it definitely uh, you know, it definitely uneases you.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_05: So for the score on this one, and and then then what I felt was kind of hurt this thing was sort of a lack of score after that.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_05: The movie was very silent in a lot of places, which yeah.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's rural, you know.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_05: I yeah, it's hard to uh I think that it's really weird that there is a man in the back of your van cutting himself and cutting your friends, and not once did the driver turn down the radio.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_05: And he was just playing this Texas twang shit.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_05: That was that was weird.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_05: That was weird, but it it it has a score, it has sound effects that are universally identifiable, especially in the horror world.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_05: So uh for that I'm gonna give the score 3.5.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_05: Um plot.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_05: This this is uh this is a bare bones ass plot.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: And it's it's really weird why they're bones have been picked clean and then arranged in in some grotesque statue.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's it's an odd plot, but like uh in the time period we're talking here, uh it's a slasher film.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_05: It's a fucking slasher film.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_05: There's no such thing as a well-plotted slasher film, at least not one I've fucking seen.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_02: Are you saying that Jason goes to Manhattan is not a well-plotted movie?
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_05: Slasher film, not art.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, it's a masterpiece.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_02: Boats Jason boat Jason does boat school is a masterpiece.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_05: We don't see Jason Flair like that for fucking ever.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_05: Um, that was a boat school with a random appearance of Jason.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_02: The show's so funny.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_05: That was wild.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_05: But uh, I'm gonna say uh but yeah, the plot here, it's a two.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_05: It's a fucking two.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_05: It's a it's an unnerving two.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_05: And then uh rewatchability.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_05: Um I've seen it before.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_05: I watched it again for this.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_05: Um when we're in the discussion of slashers, when we're in the discussion of just horror and how the genre has progressed, you're you the Texas Chainsaw Massacre has earned its place at a table, at a really disgusting Southern table.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_05: And so uh for that lunch.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_05: For that rewatch ability, uh, I'm gonna give this puppy a four.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_05: Well, uh well Luke, what's the one?
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: Your average is 3.1.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, on the on the on the very same film.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_03: The very same film, obviously.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_03: So oh gosh.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_03: So the thing about this movie is is although the the I mean the biggest takeaway from it is is the plot.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_03: And it's it genuinely is where um the movie struggles the most.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean when I say struggles the most, I mean it was so fucking poorly constructed.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_02: And there was a couple points where they had these deeper meanings to it, but they just fell off.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_03: They like didn't even utilize it was like these it was like a disrespectful attempt at what what they were the messages they were trying to uh construe, which we'll get to later on the golden path.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, but yeah, and that's that's disappointing to hear knowing that Fede Alvarez what got the writing credit for it.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and Fede Alvarez uh did uh Evil Dead, the 2013 uh remake, and he did Alien Romulus, which I was a fan of, and he did Don't Breathe, which meh.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: But uh but he's he's had some that were bangers that I that I really enjoyed, and that's that's too bad to hear.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he it just this movie just did not, yeah.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_02: And the thing is, is that I think it's because of it felt like a movie where they wanted it to be really good, but they they wanted it to be really good, but I feel like it was uh like maybe the studio that was potentially you know, being like, no, we need to do this, no, we need to do this.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like studio interference, yeah.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_02: It felt that way.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um so yeah.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_02: I mean it's a fair, it's a fair guess.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, let's be honest.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_03: That's probably fucking half the movies nowadays.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um so and I feel like they did try to keep true, they were I this was advertised as like a really big tribute to the original movie, and I feel like they did try to do a more indie style, but they didn't like use a lot of practical effects which came through on like the gore in this one.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_03: It was like don't I mean they were gory and some of the kills were like cool, but like I was like, oh god, it looks just too fake.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's like not it's to the point where I'm not scared anymore.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's not freaking even like gross.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just like uh like Mortal Kombat style, almost you know what I mean?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like yeah, that like over the time, surreal, yeah, yeah.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_02: So and I just didn't enjoy that.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_03: I just you know, I think like it could have been done better, and all but so the the acting, I can't tell if it's the acting or the the writing of like just or how this like was, but it's just none none of the characters were like not good nor bad.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_03: None of so I'd give them like a three.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, and like that's generous if I'm 100% honest.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_02: That's with the consideration that I just don't think this movie was very good.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_03: The s uh cinematography was pr done pretty well, actually.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_03: It was shot very confidently.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_03: Like some of the lighting was really cool, shadowing.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_03: Like I, you know, I there's a scene in a bus with like these blue lights, and just like he looks, you know, Leatherface looks scary as fuck.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like there, you know, the actual visual of this guy is is very terrifying in this one.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I do yeah, I think that I think the cinematography was actually probably the best part of the movie.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'd give it a uh four.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: Score is uh yeah, it's it's fine.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: Fine.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's kind of unmemorable, honestly.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_03: When we you guys were talking about, I was like, oh fuck.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like I I hadn't even had thoughts on the score, like previous to to starting tonight, which like usually I get like have at least a little bit of thoughts on everything, but didn't really add to the movie.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_03: But I also I think horror movies, you said like silence.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_03: I think they use silence a lot, and that's like meant to be because that you know they break silence with the with like sound effects and stuff.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_03: So like you know, soundtrack is definitely something that is is harder to use.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_03: So I you know they did the sound effects and all of that well.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_03: So I'd give the score a three plot.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_02: Did did you find the chainsaw sounds immersive?
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_02: No, like when you know, bad, bad.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: Funny enough, you were that was the one piece that I was like, what the fuck?
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_02: Because there was points where the chainsaw was kind of loud, but honestly, sometimes in idle, it was like quiet because there was a couple scenes where like he was hunting them and it was like supposed to be a real quiet scene, tense scene, and they would break the silence.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_03: But like if they were to break, like with the things that they would do, would likely be quieter than like a chainsaw, so that they it's almost like they were dampening the tank chainsaw sounds to make sure that the window creak could be heard.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um, that's like it so there was a point where it was like legitimately him carrying a chainsaw and it was supposed to be an idol, it was just like do do do do do like quiet, and then you just hear chainsaw and idols, and that's like yeah, and then yeah, so not very good in that aspect, but the actual like breaking of silence, like when so then when the chainsaw goes off and it breaks silence, sounds good.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_03: Like you're like, ah, that's oh, but like just because they did like catch me that one scene specifically.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, What the fuck?
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_03: That's a quiet ass chainsaw.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, why is this thing so quiet?
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like got a suppressor on it, yeah, yeah.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, gotta suppress it, gotta, you gotta.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_02: So then the plot, yeah, it was the good thoughts, I guess.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_02: It was, you know, it's a slasher.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_02: The thing that I did enjoy about it is that this is an hour 23, like runtime.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_02: So like pace, like pace-wise story was actually kind of nice, and I think that's why everything else, like they had too many things fit into an hour 23.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you needed to cut out four of those, like whatever you know, points you were trying to get across to get anything across in that amount of time with the slasher.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_03: And this one kind of was it was like they kind of tried to make you love slash hate a couple characters at the beginning because they want you, you know, to feel bad when one of them dies, love when someone dies.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I feel like that's a dynamic in a slasher in general.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, but yeah, it was just done half-assed.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_02: Like it, like, there's the one girl who's like, it's like so obviously she comes in and basically is like being a piece of shit to the locals.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_02: She's like, Yeah, I'm fucking better than you.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like, we have money.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm like, okay, this is a bit much.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I understand we're supposed to hate her, but like she's not even, it's not even like subtle.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like, she's like almost over the top.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_03: And again, I don't think that was her fault.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's how she was it was meant to be acted.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, the the plot I give a the 1.5.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_03: Rewatchability one.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_03: It's pretty easy.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not I'm not watching it.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_02: You're not just gonna put it on in the background.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_02: Horror movies are gonna are a tough one for me for rewatchability category in general.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_02: And this one is not getting put, you know.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_03: Sinners, really high rewatchability.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_03: I've watched it a couple times.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_02: That makes sense, yeah.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but like this, no.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_03: What the fuck?
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_03: That was like, I mean, if I had to, yeah, if like someone's forcing me.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, but no.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_02: I watched Bring Her Back again recently.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: That's that movie slaps.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good one.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_05: Bring her back.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_05: Which one is that?
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_02: That's the one where yeah where the kids are the blind girl and her brother get adopted by uh the woman the woman from Paddington.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_05: Check it out.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_05: I feel like I I feel like I watched it and I wasn't uh I wasn't a fan, but I had heard I liked it.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_05: I uh I don't know.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_05: Um I'll have to I'll have to give it an honest watch.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_05: I think I watched it at work one day.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, give it an honest watch.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_02: Well, uh it's about loss and grief and not being able to let go and shit.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_02: So Luke's score is dragging the average is going down, and I think that trend is going to continue.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so I also having watched the same movie as both of you, uh, I found the acting uh I was unimpressed by the acting.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_02: I uh I thought it was there was actually one scene that I found like incredibly funny when when uh the guy in the wheelchair, Franklin, I think is his name, uh, ends up getting left uh by the car or in the car.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_02: And then he like he he's like all pissed off, and then he like goes and uh rolls his way into the house and he's his face like he's all he's like enraged and he's he's he he's it's a really camp-like uh rage about being left behind or whatever, and it's I the acting was just like so it it goes from like wanting to be serious to being ridiculous, and I I don't know, it was um it uh the the silliness really took me out of the horror aspect of the movie.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_02: I felt like it wanted to be horrifying, but it was I I didn't find this movie very scary at all.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm gonna give it a uh two for acting.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't think I thought all the I thought a lot, I thought many of the lines were just delivered like they were reading off of cue cards because it was low budget, right?
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_02: It was really low budget.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so they were like, we gotta get these shots in today.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so cinematography.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_02: I actually have some notes here because I found that they did some really interesting, like modern, what I would call modern camera angles and tricks that weren't really common at the time when you look at other movies from the 70s around that period.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_02: You see uh uh I said they have some really modern camera angles, and then right after that, I got a camera full of ass.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_02: But they had like this downward view where they were like following, like inside the van, they were like, okay, we don't have to just have this bat looking at the back of the car with the erratic guy, and then looking at everyone at the front of the car.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_02: We then had a shot of one one of the women holding a map and talking about the map to the driver, and we got like this siloed view of this like downward angle where we got her and the driver in a shot, and I was like, that is not your normal 1974 low budget shot.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like they were they were serious about getting like a really good shot there where they focus on the on who's talking.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and so I thought that that kind of thing was good, and we saw we saw a lot of uh quick pans and in-shot focuses, though most of the tricks I saw were crabbing shots.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you guys know about crabbing, but that's where uh the camera like moves perpendicular to the shot where it moves like side, where it where it goes the camera is actually physically moving sideways and the action stays still and and the camera like essentially crab walks, you know, like how crabs walk sideways.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_02: So it just like goes sideways and like kind of like changes its view of the situation as it goes sideways.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_02: And at the beginning, I thought that that was kind of cool for a couple scenes where they were like revealing more things, and then they started to use it too much.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Well, why are we doing it now?
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I know it's cool, it's a cool little camera trick, but you gotta do it for a reason.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_02: They did it a few times, they're like, that was thick as fuck.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_02: Run it back.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I was like, oh yeah, we gotta do it again.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_02: Can we do it here?
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_02: I guess I got the track.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_02: How much does it cost?
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, no money?
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fucking yeah, it's limited.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_02: Put down the track, all right.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, but but the the what it was what it like conveys in the really good scenes, like when it happens outside the house that they are that they originally get there, it's like it conveys like a voyeuristic sense from the camera that they're being watched.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not like normally the camera moves inward or outward on a subject to like signify either getting closer, like like focusing on them or defocusing from them.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_02: But this like cra this like outward perpendicular movement is more like stalking, like a predator does, where it stays a distance away and keeps and it keeps its eyes on you as it moves around the outside.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_02: And so it like creates this really tense feeling, like they're being watched, you know.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought that that was good.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and and so that definitely bumps it up in my eyes, you know, for for some early camera tricks like that.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna give it a 3.5 for cinematography.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_02: Uh for score.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, my movie had very little music.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_02: It had uh a little bit of like nice music at the beginning, and then uh the music was screams and uh chainsaws.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and and it was uh I thought it was really bad.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_02: I thought it took it took me out of the movie.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_02: The chain like like Luke was saying, the chainsaw, the chainsaw muffled itself uh a lot, uh and uh like people just couldn't hear that there was a chainsaw nearby, which is very ridiculous.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm gonna give score a 1.5.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't find that the chainsaw is particularly scary either.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_02: Uh for plot, I thought this plot was the the the plot is the plot is people wander into a haunted house and then die immediately.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't know, I don't know exactly how that constitutes a plot.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_05: No, those first like five deaths are just instantaneous.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they they walk inside and then like the first guy walks in, he looks around the corner, and then Leatherface comes out, bashes him over the head, and then closes the door, and that's that's it.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_02: He's he's dead.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, okay.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I'm gonna give this a 1.5 uh for plot because they do have the they do have the gas station scene, which I saw from a mile away that that guy was uh was trying to keep them there to feed them to his family.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_02: I knew that guy was not a good guy, but that's just from that's because movies built off of what Texas Chainsaw Massacre set the foundation for.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_02: And it was good.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_02: It was good that it did that.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_02: So it that's how it gets a 1.5 instead of a 0.5.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_02: Uh for rewatchability.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm never gonna watch this again.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_02: That the there was it wasn't even a good slasher.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_02: I saw I saw I read in the Wikipedia for this that they were trying to get a PG rating, so they be that's why they took all the gore out.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_02: There was no direct gore, it was all implied because they wanted a PG rating, but the rating they came back with was was R because of all the implied gore.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_05: It was banned.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_05: Should have just done the gore.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, should have just done the gore because it was like it wasn't even like uh yeah, yeah.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_02: I uh like who the fuck would that have been?
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_02: The pacing was so bad, I was so bored.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_02: I just wanted it to be over.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_02: The screaming was like the screaming was making my ears ring.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_02: I just wanted it to be over.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_02: So uh yeah, I'm gonna give it a 0.5 for rewatchability.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and calculating 2.46 repeating.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_02: Uh just the six repeats, not not four six repeating.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so we uh so we round up to 2.5.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_05: 2.5.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_05: And that is, I feel is fair for the entire franchise.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_05: There you go, folks.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_05: 2.5 Texas Chainsaw Massacre, you're you get to 2.5.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_05: It gets a 2.5.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's nothing revolutionary.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_02: If you sit down and watch it, you will leave it feeling.
• 42:53
  unknown: Yeah.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_02: I watched a movie.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, no, and some very, like I said, some very solid depictions of a standard Texas family.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, we get to see that we got to see that from film for the first time.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_02: And you're feeling nostalgic for home.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, what yeah, watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_05: It'll remind you of fucking Sunday.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_05: So uh there you go.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_05: So, well, there you have it, folks.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, it can never be disputed again.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_05: And uh Lord willing dry we'll we'll stop making these fucking things.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_05: So it's time to dive into the golden path, which means it's time for one more shot, one more hit, one more toast.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_05: Oh boy.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_05: This one goes out to uh a 2.5.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_05: Cheers, boys.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_02: 2.5 cheers someone drink a rubber duck.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_02: Damn.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_02: Why rubber duck?
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_02: Did you hear a squeak?
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I heard a huge squeak.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_02: That was my uh me trying to, it was clogged.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_03: So I was like a little squeak, a little squeak popped out.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_05: Really sucking it.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_05: All right, fellas.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_03: So that's right.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_05: So deeper meanings of Texas chainsaw fucking mask here.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_05: I got some.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, what do you got?
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so I think.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_02: I think that the beginning of the movie when they're having their conversations in the uh in the car about the pictures of like the slaughterhouse and stuff.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_02: You know, they're they're showing uh you know animals being slaughtered, and uh I think that what it was really trying to and and then he cuts himself, right?
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_02: I think what that was really trying to invoke and symbolize was this idea that um humans are just meat.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like uh it's I I know that I it's it definitely uh offends sensibilities to say this, but humans are just animals and we are not really different in material terms than the livestock that we bash over the head and then and then carve up in a systematic way.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's and that's exactly what slaughterhouses are, you know.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_02: We're all meat.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_02: And uh it and sometimes it takes a couple of swings of the hammer to kill us, too.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_02: You know?
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_02: I think that was the meat hook.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_02: Put them on the meat hook first.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_02: They don't even do that, they don't even do that to the cattle.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_05: No, that was just that was that was just that was just for women.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_05: Well, there was a lot of it.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_05: Um, well, I get like I agree entirely.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_05: That was definitely a thing that they were trying to put there.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_05: And I I feel like it's it was weirdly it's like what August 18th is Texas Chainsaw Mascore Day, which kind of what provoked us into doing this.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_05: Um and uh it's it's just weird that that uh we're seeing that right now during this whole upending of uh the American ranch system and the way that cattle's gonna be done and all this meat coming in from Argentina now and everything like that.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_05: It was very very interesting timing, I felt, for us to delve into Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_05: But uh yeah, I mean, yeah, at the end of the day, humans are, yeah, we are just uh we're very we're smart meat.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_05: We're smart and meat.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_05: Mm-hmm.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_05: Well, uh well, Luke, uh on the on the 2022 side of it, what what deeper meanings did you pull out of that uh based on the same exact movie that all three of us saw.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_03: You know, there was the point, you know, there's a very obvious point of like this gentrification and people kind of coming into an area and instead of understanding the cultural culture and the people and the potential of the area first, and you know, then then building out from there, they just kind of come in with a plan and and do think they are better, and you know, gentrification has happened in so many different places and been an issue.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_03: And this is like a blatant thing, obvious fact of this movie.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so you know, deeper meaning don't know if you can call it that, but you know, meaning it's a meaning.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's a meaning.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's a meaning.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_02: And then the there was a character who, you know, one of the girls was a school shooter, shooting survivor, which could, you know, that could be a pretty dynamic character, you know.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, but I in this movie, what the f it just felt like a cheat, like it was like, oh, let's let's talk about this.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_03: It legitimately was a couple flashbacks for, but it was not written like into the movie at all.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_03: It was legitimately just a character trait of this character that was separate from the entire movie.
• 47:49
  unknown: Right.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_05: A character who is a shooting survivor, that should be like the crux of the film.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_05: Like, this movie is about shootings now.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_05: That like that is that's what this movie's about.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like, so the thing is, think about this.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_02: They could have done a thing where, like, you know, she she needs to shoot him.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like, she's legitimate.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_02: They the early movie, he slaughters them all.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_02: Then it's like a lot of the movie, he's hunting her.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_02: She just needs to shoot him, kill him, finish.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_03: But she can't do it.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_03: She's scared of guns.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_03: She does, you know, she has like troubles.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_03: PTSD.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_03: Like, and it just would have been a better slasher at that point.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not saying that's like the most dynamic plot ever, but could have been just done so much.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_02: Some effort and could open a better message.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and like talked about PTSD.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_02: It like or maybe her freezing and hiding while her friends get slaughtered because that's how she survived.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_02: The school shooting was to freeze and duck you forever and hide and make herself small.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_02: And she's like, Oh my god, it's fucking happening again, you know.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_02: And they kind of, you know, it's the happening again PTSD flashback.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_02: They did that, but just yeah, they're not like that, though, where it's like, oh my god, and then it's like through blind, you know, you through like a closet blind watching slaughter.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's like she's just kind of there watching, and it's just like, okay, like that just feels yeah, just not dynamic, I suppose.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_03: So it was like an interesting take.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_03: I like I just don't know why they put it in there the way they did.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_05: It felt yeah, well and the the gentrification part of it was also odd because it winds up being an argument for gentrification if gentrification is going to stopping kill to push out white poor cannibals.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_05: Get rid of them, I say.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_05: Uh gentrify.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_05: Gentrify is a white poor cannibal.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_03: If you gentrify, he will be fucking murdered, slaughtered like pig.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_02: Well, the murders and slaughterers are there anyway.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, push them out.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_05: Push them out, I say.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_05: Sell their homes, yeah, get them out of there.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_05: Put a put a fucking uh Starbucks next to uh that house.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, man, we could have I the coffee is great.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_02: I could have been having coffee instead of murdering people this whole time.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, right.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_05: There's an argument there that uh for like these uh you know, these white people that are that are fighting against city and everything like that, they just need to experience the city and let all of their racism and homicidal urges just ebb away as they experience life within a community with culture, with experience outside of their average Texas cannibal home.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if they'll see it that way.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_05: You think you're better than me?
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_05: Nobody's better than me.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_05: First, yes, yes, I do.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_05: Second, no, no, you're wrong.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I mean, uh, the deeper meanings of these films is just pretty much to bash on Texans, I guess.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_05: But like the original uh the Texas St.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_05: Chainsaw Massacre was based off of uh Ed Gaines.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_05: Ed Gean, yeah, Ed Gean Gean.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_05: Um and that was in Indiana, wasn't it?
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, I don't remember if Ed Geane was Indiana.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_02: I can check it out.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, uh I mean because it was based off of something Wisconsin.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_05: Midwest, it's all interchangeable and it doesn't fucking matter.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we got a lot of great serial killers in the Midwest.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_05: Mm-hmm.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_02: H.H.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_02: Holmes?
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_02: What a G for real.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so yeah, for folks at home, uh go ahead, put your favorite serial killer in the comments.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_05: But well, guys, so Texas Chainsaw Massacre, how would it change if you were introduced?
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_05: How does the movie change when uh when Luke shows up to help gentrify Saria?
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_02: There would just be like, you know, even under the influence on surviving.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_03: Like the decisions made in this movie are absurd.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_02: And like it is so much there was a point where she had a gun held to the back of his head.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_02: She's like, turn around, I need to see your face.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_02: He fucking like gets up and ends up like grabbing the gun barrel and like like I would have shot him right in execution style.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_03: Ha ha! Found ya, boom, like uh so like yeah, I it there just would have been a survivor in my movie.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_03: I would have no well, like a survivor who isn't traumatized.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_03: I would have just been like, oh my god, this is kind of weird.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_03: What's going on?
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_03: Out out of the town, gone.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_03: So no, nothing changes.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_03: My entire cast still gets slaughtered.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_03: I just there is a survivor, and then unfortunately, because of that, there's now another Texas Chainsaw Masker that comes out in the year 2028.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_03: God damn it.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_02: And but it why it but I've become uh a serial killer bounty hunter, and that's and it's just some guy who's gunslinger.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_03: I I have yeah, I'm cowboy with two two pistols, and I just hunt serial killers.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and it's called Texas Chainsaw Massacre's uh worst nightmare.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_02: I do I do want people to know that there is a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie to be announced, being directed by the guy who directed Obsession.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_02: Uh it doesn't say what the title or when it's coming out is, but yes, he got signed on to do a yes, and it's called Texas Chainsaw Master's worst nightmare.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_05: Dude, don't don't fucking do it, man.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_05: Like you're riding off the biggest fucking high of all time, and you're gonna attach yourself to one of the shittiest fucking franchises.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_03: What if he saves the entire franchise?
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_02: What if he makes the best one ever?
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_02: That'd be amazing.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_02: It wouldn't be it's a low bar.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_05: I'll give it a shot.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_05: I like I'm gonna give it a shot.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_05: I still haven't like I still haven't found how he was in Neppo, and I'm happy to see Indy getting all of her accolades and everything like that now.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_05: I um because I was actually watching uh um just speaking of old school horror, I was watching an interview with uh Bruce Campbell.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_05: He was he was on the podcast um with Lex Luthor from Smallville, and they were just discussing how the industry is changing, that uh Hollywood is is in its last sort of cycle.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_05: Like they outsourced like pretty much everything American, and Hollywood is dying and will be dead soon.
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_05: Like there's no reason to utilize them anymore.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_05: All it is is rich people propping up their rich, talentless kids.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_05: And the big stuff right now is being made uh by like the guy who did obsession, you know, by newer people in Vancouver, in uh different parts of the United States.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_05: Hollywood is uh is dead, and we'll and right now we're just sort of experiencing it's you know when uh Leatherface smacks the dude once with a hammer and he's twitching.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_05: Um we're experiencing the twitching.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_05: And uh, yeah, and we'll see the Academy Awards.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_05: Um Ann Hathaway's gonna win because that's what she's going for, and that's just them pretending that um Hollywood's still alive, but it really isn't.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_05: So uh yeah.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know where just a heads up that uh Curry Barker uh his mom was a graphic designer and his father was a psychiatric nurse practitioner who later became a professional screenwriter.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_05: So just a heads up when we did obsession, I was looking into him and there was nothing of any particular note.
• 55:53
  SPEAKER_02: Now there's a note.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_02: Now there's a note for it.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_05: People looked into it.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, people looked into it because they were like, Is this fucker a Nepo?
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_02: Turns out might be.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um also he said that his uh his interest in horror came from when he saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003 when he was 11 years old and wanted to chase the feeling of being shocked.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_02: So that may be why he signed on for Texas Chainsaw Mass.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_02: I found him on YouTube reels making dumbass kids.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_05: Yep.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's what I that's what I saw him in.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_05: But well, uh well, James, how about you?
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_05: How does the how does the movie change with the edition of you?
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I forgot that I was supposed to do this.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_02: All right, uh, so in Texas in 1974, who would I have been?
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_02: I would have been okay, so the whole movie goes the same way as it was before, all the way up until the end, when she's running away from the house.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like I wasn't there that whole time.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_02: I wasn't there that whole time.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's not it's not me, right?
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_02: I wouldn't put myself in that kind of situation.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_02: If uh if we were if we got in that situation, I would have been I would have hung out on the highway and been like, hey, we need a ride to get more gas.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_02: There's no fucking way.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_02: You know.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_02: But uh, but and at the end, that truck driver who who shows up the first uh when it's the truck, I would have run over Leatherface with his chainsaw, I would have backed up over him instead of just getting out of the fucking car.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that was weird that they all got out of the truck.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_05: Like he wasn't able to get in the truck, but they both got out of the truck.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_05: That was bizarre.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_02: He was rubbing his chainsaw on the door.
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_02: Let's get out of the truck.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_02: But also, I I what I really want is what I want to do is that solid wrench throw.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_02: So after I hit him, I get out with the wrench and I chuck that.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_02: I get the same chuck of the wrench throw, but since he's already been hit, it just takes him out.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_02: Dude, do you remember that wrench throw where he chucked it just hurls through boom right into Leatherface's fucking head and takes him down?
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_02: He cuts his leg on the chainsaw.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_02: In my version, I go get the chainsaw and just fucking finish him.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_02: And uh and then I then I turn around to uh to the survivor, what's her name, Shelly?
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Sherry?
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, sub.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_02: Sup.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_02: That's how it is.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_02: How you how you doing, Sally?
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_02: Nice.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_02: How you doing?
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_02: What's going on?
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_02: Tell me all the and that's enough of that.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, give her some weed.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's a name.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_02: You can't keep doing that.
• 58:48
  SPEAKER_02: Here's some weed.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_02: Get in the truck.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_05: 30 straight minutes.
• 58:52
  unknown: Oh.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_02: That's enough of that.
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_02: Let's get out of here.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_02: And that's that.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_05: This whole movie is just listening to a woman scream.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_05: It really is.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, for me, like, I I I'm driving through rural Texas.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_05: I'm in the van.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_05: We like against my protestation, we pick up that dude in the beginning, and he cuts himself.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_05: Like, get the fuck.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_05: Like, turn off that music.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_05: Why have you been playing that?
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_05: What the fuck is wrong with you?
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_05: Get out of the van.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_05: And as soon as he doesn't get out of the van and tries to cut my paraplegic friend, I shoot him in the chest.
• 59:31
  SPEAKER_05: I then call the police.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_05: The police come.
• 59:33
  SPEAKER_05: The first 30 minutes are fucking questions.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_05: Like picking up a hitchhiker, I had to shoot him.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_05: He cut my, he was like, he came at us with a fucking knife.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_05: Um, the police would eventually leave.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_05: The family.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_02: You guys remember, they're also from Texas.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, so you're saying the cops are in on it?
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_02: Well, they're from Texas.
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_05: Fucking hell.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_05: All right.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_05: Well.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_02: Assumedly the same part of Texas.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_05: Well, like I would notify the police that he's dead.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_02: Just leave.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_02: He's at mile marker 10.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_05: Leave a note.
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_05: Leave a note on him.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_05: And like when because we we're still go like our whole purpose there is very unclear.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_02: And like I'm it's to go it's to go, it's to go see his uncle who died's property that he got.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, we're gonna go see this inherited property.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_05: Um and like as we get closer, I'm like, guys, like just let the estate wrap this up.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_05: Like, just put it on the mark.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_05: Like, what are we doing here?
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_05: This is this is fucked.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and then when that sliding door opens and Leatherface is there, I put two bullets in his chest.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, what the fuck was that?
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_05: That was wild.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_05: That was wild.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_05: And uh then I realized that I'm surrounded by pieces of people, and I call the police and I leave a note um their face's chest.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_05: Um just yeah.
• 1:01:14
  SPEAKER_05: This place was that what the hell's going on down here?
• 1:01:21
  SPEAKER_05: I just killed a man.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_05: This is and then the rest of the movie would be like, you know, we with these these you know, with these these attractive women in the van I'm with, I'm just like, I I've taken two lives today.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_05: This is this is a lot for me.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I don't think I should be alone right now.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_05: And uh that would be the movie that that would be the end of it.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_05: Like this this whole thing would just be like that sliding door opens, he's come no and the fuck was that?
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_05: And I would leave, and I'm never coming back to Texas again.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_05: Uh against my better judgment, I was here in the first place, just like in real life when I I I went to Texas the first time.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_05: And I would I would just never return to Texas because it's it's it's Texas.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_02: And and then there's a reason this house is dilapidated.
• 1:02:13
  SPEAKER_02: You don't want it.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_02: You don't want it.
• 1:02:15
  SPEAKER_05: You don't want this house.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_05: I killed two people down the street.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_05: Like you, you're not about to turn this into our vacation home.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_05: All right, it's gonna bring up a lot of bad memories for me, and I'm I'm not interested.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_05: So yeah, and uh you could either guys get in the van or don't.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_05: The van is leaving.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_05: It's up to you if you're it's up to you whether or not you're in it, and I would drive away.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_05: And that would be then I guess I'd wind up getting gas, and then that guy would try and put ropes on me.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_05: Like he'd come in giggling with the ropes like he did, and I'd shoot him in the chest.
• 1:02:46
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, what the fuck was that?
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_05: And I'd fill up my gas and leave.
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_02: This movie forgot balls existed, by the way.
• 1:02:55
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, she should have kicked guy each of these guys in the balls.
• 1:03:01
  SPEAKER_02: Guy who wanted to tie her up would have been totally laid flat by a swift kick in the nuts.
• 1:03:06
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, he wasn't imposing whatsoever.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_05: This whole movie would have been ended by one person with a gun and a nice swift kick to the testicles.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_05: Like that that would be it.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and then that's where I couldn't solve with a swift kick to the testicles.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_03: Mine or someone else's.
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_05: No.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, no.
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_05: The entire franchise of Texas Chainsaw Massacre could have been concluded with a swift kick to the testicles.
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_05: And that's the high and dry take on it.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_02: So I've got I've got some funny notes before I before we end here.
• 1:03:40
  SPEAKER_02: Some things I some things I wrote down.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_02: I just gotta toss them out.
• 1:03:45
  SPEAKER_02: These corpses are juicy as hell, was was my first note.
• 1:03:50
  SPEAKER_02: So cheesy.
• 1:03:51
  SPEAKER_02: Uh uh, the wheelchair going down the hill reminds me of Mac and Me.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_02: Have you guys seen that movie?
• 1:03:57
  SPEAKER_02: Mac and Me?
• 1:03:58
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you guys gotta check it out.
• 1:04:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's great.
• 1:04:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's a it was a movie, it was a movie created by McDonald's that has an alien uh and and a kid in a wheelchair.
• 1:04:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I do it.
• 1:04:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you know, oh you know what I'm talking about.
• 1:04:16
  SPEAKER_02: He goes zooming down the hill in the wheelchair off a ravine into some water.
• 1:04:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so that's what that reminded me of.
• 1:04:25
  SPEAKER_02: Erratic people are terrifying.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, we spend a lot of time panning over every hillbilly's junk and parts table.
• 1:04:35
  SPEAKER_02: Is what I know.
• 1:04:36
  SPEAKER_02: There's like five minutes of panning over uh a junk table in every hillbilly's house.
• 1:04:41
  SPEAKER_02: Uh let's see.
• 1:04:42
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Leather's Leatherface seems worried about killing those young people.
• 1:04:47
  SPEAKER_02: Do you remember uh when do you remember the steamers?
• 1:04:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he sat down and buried his head in his hands.
• 1:04:53
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, I was like, it's it's okay, little buddy.
• 1:04:57
  SPEAKER_02: All right, man.
• 1:04:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's all right.
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's all right.
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_02: He did it, you got him.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 1:05:02
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:05:05
  SPEAKER_02: They also care for their wheelchair-bound relative, they're just like us.
• 1:05:11
  SPEAKER_02: And uh and solid wrench throw.
• 1:05:13
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I got.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:05:15
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_05: No, the film was like oddly uh a lot of uh um uh differently enabled representation, you know.
• 1:05:23
  SPEAKER_05: So uh yeah, yeah.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_05: I mean you know what's interesting?
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_02: 1974, there were probably a lot of people had relatives who had polio and were wheelchair bound.
• 1:05:34
  SPEAKER_02: Before that was before the polio vaccine uh you know was widely distributed.
• 1:05:39
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of people had family members.
• 1:05:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:05:42
  SPEAKER_05: Well, well, there you go.
• 1:05:44
  SPEAKER_05: Well, I'm your host, Ryan Barron North.
• 1:05:46
  SPEAKER_05: With me as always, James Crossing, Luke.
• 1:05:47
  SPEAKER_05: Uh Texas Change of Massacre.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_05: Uh swift kick to the testicles would have solved it all.
• 1:05:51
  SPEAKER_02: So that's all I gotta say about that.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_02: Aim a little lower on that wrench throw.
• 1:05:58
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:05:59
  SPEAKER_05: Uh yeah.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_05: Text a change.
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_05: Uh never gonna see it again.
• 1:06:03
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_03: Well, uh, bye.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_03: Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.