Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 213. Did We Start the Year in Survival Mode? Our HONEST 2026 Life Update

Transcript

213. Did We Start the Year in Survival Mode? Our HONEST 2026 Life Update · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

0:05
Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy
0:13
Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment.
0:16
Speaker 2: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most
0:19
Speaker 2: authentic version of yourself.
0:21
Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
0:23
Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone
0:26
Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about.
0:28
Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self.
0:31
Speaker 1: Hello, good morning everybody. Welcome back to She Rises Wednesday episode.
0:36
Speaker 1: It's a bit of life and updates.
0:37
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, we love a life update, but an
0:40
Speaker 2: honest one.
0:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, an honest one, the whole Goodbye twenty twenty five,
0:44
Speaker 1: twenty twenty six is going to be amazing about you.
0:47
Speaker 1: But it's kind of got a lot of leftover residue.
0:49
Speaker 2: Reflaty, there is some residue.
0:51
Speaker 1: The snake is snaking. The snake is snaky.
0:54
Speaker 2: I just would like to formally ask where the horse is.
0:58
Speaker 1: I think it's been lost. He got lost along the way.
1:01
Speaker 1: For sure. We wanted to talk about this because every
1:04
Speaker 1: single person I know this year's been fucking hard, so hard.
1:08
Speaker 1: Everyone's super disregulated, going through a lot. They're having to
1:11
Speaker 1: make big decisions they're grieving like it has just been
1:14
Speaker 1: a heavy start to the year. I have not felt
1:16
Speaker 1: this anxious in a very very long time. Even like
1:20
Speaker 1: the smallest of tasks just feel really difficult. My sleep's
1:24
Speaker 1: gone shit again. It's just so much happening over my
1:28
Speaker 1: head yep, and in all of like life. So we
1:32
Speaker 1: want to talk about it today. So if you're feeling
1:33
Speaker 1: like we are, you are not alone. Before we get started,
1:36
Speaker 1: I want to actually read out what I read to
1:38
Speaker 1: Towna this morning about that snake.
1:40
Speaker 2: This was amazing. If you guys feel something from this
1:43
Speaker 2: and you have some really pivotal realizations, please send us
1:46
Speaker 2: a DM on cheer rises. Yeah, love to hear about it.
1:48
Speaker 1: So, if you haven't heard about the snake and the horse,
1:50
Speaker 1: it's like basically the inn how snakes shed their skin.
1:54
Speaker 1: Apparently all of last year is even longer. Is this
1:57
Speaker 1: like a nine new cycle end of a nine new cycle?
1:59
Speaker 2: Yes, but I think last year was just the year, the.
2:01
Speaker 1: Final the final shed of everything that's not serving you.
2:04
Speaker 1: So if you're a bit of a limbo situation at
2:06
Speaker 1: the moment where you're trying to decide whether to end
2:08
Speaker 1: a relationship or maybe change jobs or start something new,
2:12
Speaker 1: or just anything that's feeling heavy and not aligned anymore.
2:14
Speaker 1: And then the horse comes in and it's full bolting forward.
2:17
Speaker 1: It's like expansion, its growth, it's clarity, it's big money,
2:21
Speaker 1: it's opportunity, yeah, thriving relationships. So if you've been feeling
2:26
Speaker 1: on edge, then listen to this. Steveson is to a
2:28
Speaker 1: town and NEI this morning when I drive up the
2:30
Speaker 1: final shedding. This is not a gentle ending. The last
2:33
Speaker 1: shedding of the snake year is deep, intense and one
2:35
Speaker 1: of the most powerful moments of the cycle, the call inward.
2:38
Speaker 1: While you've been in a wood snake energy for almost
2:40
Speaker 1: a year, it's likely felt especially intense over the past
2:43
Speaker 1: few weeks. This is a call inward, a sense that
2:46
Speaker 1: something inside you is shifting, like standing on the edge
2:48
Speaker 1: of something new, something big. This is the snake energy.
2:52
Speaker 1: Twenty twenty five was a year of powerful, real, deep transformation,
2:56
Speaker 1: a breaking down of all of what was and all
2:58
Speaker 1: that needs to leave, unlearning, releasing shedding, complete identity shifts
3:03
Speaker 1: that can't be forced or rushed, and the last few
3:06
Speaker 1: weeks have been some of the most intense of all
3:08
Speaker 1: the kind of change that reshapes you at a soul level,
3:11
Speaker 1: everything is dissolving, rearranging, completing, ending. It works through your
3:16
Speaker 1: nervous system. You're subconscious your body, and the shifts can
3:19
Speaker 1: feel sudden, intense, or completely shake you to your core.
3:22
Speaker 1: You might be feeling heavy, stark, confused, emotional like pieces
3:25
Speaker 1: of you are falling away and wondering why is this
3:28
Speaker 1: still happening? The last skin. This is the final piece
3:31
Speaker 1: of the skin that needs to shed, the story you
3:33
Speaker 1: almost carried forward, the part of you that clung the longest.
3:37
Speaker 1: It isn't loud as snake sheds, and stillness, almost like
3:40
Speaker 1: nothing is happening, but a new version is waiting quietly underneath.
3:43
Speaker 1: It's time to let go. You can't force this, you
3:46
Speaker 1: can't rush it, so let yourself be still. Notice what's
3:49
Speaker 1: happening inside. It's an unraveling, are remembering, outgrowing what once
3:54
Speaker 1: held you, a quiet rising of awareness that this is
3:56
Speaker 1: exactly what needs to happen. Don't hold on, release what
4:00
Speaker 1: no longer serves you. Because your identity is shifting. You
4:03
Speaker 1: may even feel like you don't know who you are anymore.
4:06
Speaker 1: So take a moment now to yourself. What version of
4:08
Speaker 1: me is complete? And what am I leaving? Behind. Your
4:12
Speaker 1: body wants to cling to the familiar to stay safe,
4:15
Speaker 1: but the snake is clearing the path for what's next.
4:17
Speaker 1: The fire horse is coming. The snake clears the path,
4:22
Speaker 1: where's the fire horse will run with it. It's momentum, courage, expansion, visibility, power, speed,
4:28
Speaker 1: and it doesn't move slowly. It's time to decide what
4:31
Speaker 1: version you want to move forward with. So that was
4:33
Speaker 1: just like a brief outline of all means. I love that,
4:37
Speaker 1: So I'm freaking cool.
4:38
Speaker 2: I remember when you read that in the car. I
4:40
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, I need to do this
4:41
Speaker 2: this and this I activation in me, and even you
4:44
Speaker 2: were like, oh my god, I feel like this for you. Yeah,
4:46
Speaker 2: it's just I feel like it really showcases everything that
4:49
Speaker 2: was last year and everything that is going to come now. Yes,
4:53
Speaker 2: but also there's this still like really weird in between
4:56
Speaker 2: area of like yeah, still shedding, but not yet fully
4:59
Speaker 2: in that momentum energy yet. And it's definitely been like
5:02
Speaker 2: that for us over the last like six weeks especially.
5:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's been big decisions to be made and a
5:07
Speaker 1: lot of fear, Like I feel like it's a lot
5:08
Speaker 1: of fear of well, if I don't do this, or
5:11
Speaker 1: if I do this and what it doesn't feel right?
5:12
Speaker 1: Or what if? What? Like a lot of what if?
5:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of confusion energy rather than being certain
5:17
Speaker 2: like yes right, or like being decisive. I felt like
5:20
Speaker 2: I've sat in a lot of like indecisive energy over
5:23
Speaker 2: this last like six weeks and just you mentioning how
5:25
Speaker 2: you haven't felt this anxious in a really long time.
5:28
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm just regulated all the time. Yeah,
5:31
Speaker 2: Like I find like it's taking me a lot longer
5:34
Speaker 2: than normal to regulate myself and bound myself back, So
5:37
Speaker 2: like I have to actively spend time going to the
5:39
Speaker 2: beach or like unplugging from my phone, fusing oh my gosh. Yeah,
5:44
Speaker 2: like really really leaning on those things, and like showing
5:47
Speaker 2: up in a like doubling down on those doubling down.
5:50
Speaker 2: That's how it feels. I feel like I've got to
5:53
Speaker 2: double down in this season because what used to work
5:57
Speaker 2: doesn't feel like it works as easy now. Yeah, So
5:59
Speaker 2: it's like I have to go ham on implementing those
6:01
Speaker 2: things just to say like okay, just to get my
6:04
Speaker 2: back to my BA.
6:05
Speaker 1: Yes.
6:06
Speaker 2: But I think like in preparation of like twenty twenty six,
6:09
Speaker 2: we know we have a big year coming and we've
6:12
Speaker 2: got everything planned and mapped out, and you know, there's
6:14
Speaker 2: so much happening, and then it's just like all the
6:17
Speaker 2: personal stuff too. Yeah, personal experiences, personal challenges, big decisions
6:22
Speaker 2: be made, big investments, you know, all of those things.
6:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like this last six weeks too, that
6:29
Speaker 1: I've been feeling anxious. It's like everything that I avoided
6:32
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty five that I should have been shedding
6:35
Speaker 1: and clearing. Yeah, it's like creeping up to the very seventeen.
6:38
Speaker 1: It's like you got to get rid of this shit,
6:39
Speaker 1: and not get rid of it, but like, yeah, move
6:40
Speaker 1: through it and stop avoiding it. That was things like
6:43
Speaker 1: my old wounds, Rambo's birthday, Rainbo's anniversary, death, that I
6:47
Speaker 1: avoided that as much as I could because it's so
6:49
Speaker 1: uncomfortable to sit with different things in relationship dynamics that
6:52
Speaker 1: I just like didn't know what to do with or
6:54
Speaker 1: how to move through it. Yeah, clarity around work and
6:57
Speaker 1: how exactly we want it to look and how we're
6:59
Speaker 1: going to make it all fit in, and just a
7:01
Speaker 1: lot of head noise. Yeah, I can see where I
7:04
Speaker 1: want to go, but I'm I feel like i'm kind
7:06
Speaker 1: of stuck in the mud at the moment, Yes, trying
7:07
Speaker 1: to like get myself off and wash myself off.
7:10
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I understand that. I feel like for me
7:12
Speaker 2: as well, I felt really like emotionally burnt out towards
7:15
Speaker 2: the end of the year, like because I was like pushing, pushing, pushing,
7:18
Speaker 2: and then when Christmas came, I got sick for two
7:20
Speaker 2: weeks and it just felt like, you know, like you're
7:22
Speaker 2: really really busy and then you stop and then you crumble. Yeah,
7:24
Speaker 2: it's like that that happened for me, And so I
7:27
Speaker 2: felt like emotionally burned out because I was trying to
7:29
Speaker 2: just push and like a bit of brute force. And
7:32
Speaker 2: then I rested and I was like, okay, cool, now
7:34
Speaker 2: this is my time to kind of recoup. And then
7:36
Speaker 2: I ended up going to Bali and it was just
7:38
Speaker 2: like a bit of a strange time to go to
7:40
Speaker 2: Bali because it was like, once everybody had come back
7:42
Speaker 2: for work, I had spent one week back at work,
7:44
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, I'm off on a holiday. Yeah,
7:45
Speaker 2: and it just like I was almost ready to get
7:47
Speaker 2: into that momentum energy And you wouldn't believe it. Who
7:51
Speaker 2: would have thought that solo travel would make you reevaluate
7:54
Speaker 2: your whole life.
7:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, I actually have time space to think about.
7:57
Speaker 2: I remember going away and being like, wow, I have
7:59
Speaker 2: so much time. There's no one around. And I just
8:02
Speaker 2: spent what felt like two weeks in my head just
8:06
Speaker 2: processing and this and thinking about this and thinking about
8:09
Speaker 2: my life and business and have structured everything in my
8:12
Speaker 2: life and what I don't want any more and what
8:14
Speaker 2: I do want, And it just felt like this constant
8:16
Speaker 2: loop in my head of like preparing almost for your head.
8:21
Speaker 1: But it's heavy.
8:22
Speaker 2: It's so heavy, heavy and dysregulating and confusing, and.
8:25
Speaker 1: When you actually don't know what decision to make, it's
8:27
Speaker 1: it consumes you.
8:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think for a long time as well, Like
8:31
Speaker 2: even just in business and stuff, you know, you learn
8:33
Speaker 2: how to be decisive, move on things, make decisions quickly.
8:36
Speaker 2: It is last like four weeks. I'm like, I don't
8:37
Speaker 2: feel like I'm doing that at all. Yeah, you know,
8:39
Speaker 2: it's hard to be sitting in the discomfort of that
8:42
Speaker 2: and not feeling like, oh, like quote unquote call my
8:45
Speaker 2: shit together. I'm just in this, in this bit of
8:48
Speaker 2: not chaos but discomfort, yes, discomfort, and.
8:52
Speaker 1: Also knowing it gets to a point where like you're
8:54
Speaker 1: sitting in that discomfort, you actually have to make a decision,
8:56
Speaker 1: and is your decision coming from a place of fear, yes,
8:59
Speaker 1: or is it actually the right decision. Yeah, that's where
9:02
Speaker 1: we're kind of in at the moment with a few
9:03
Speaker 1: things of like okay, and even last week when we
9:05
Speaker 1: hired a new business coach, like it's just so scary,
9:09
Speaker 1: it's such a huge investment, and there's parts of us
9:11
Speaker 1: like this isn't the right time to invest on that money,
9:13
Speaker 1: Like that's all in and what if it doesn't work,
9:16
Speaker 1: and like, oh my gosh, what if I don't know,
9:19
Speaker 1: just all just all the world. Yeah. Yeah, we actually
9:21
Speaker 1: had just had to be like okay, let's just fucking
9:23
Speaker 1: pay it, lock it in, because otherwise we're going to
9:25
Speaker 1: sit here and talk ourselves out of it. Yeah.
9:28
Speaker 2: And we made the decision while I was in Bali too,
9:30
Speaker 2: so we were on the phone to each other like
9:32
Speaker 2: what about this and what about this? And this feels
9:34
Speaker 2: like the right decision, but also does it And yeah,
9:36
Speaker 2: this real in between energy of like Okay, we know
9:39
Speaker 2: where we want to go, we know what we need
9:41
Speaker 2: to do to get there, and this feels like a
9:42
Speaker 2: decision that will help us get there, but it doesn't
9:44
Speaker 2: mean that it doesn't come without any fear. So because
9:46
Speaker 2: they were both like all of our stories were coming up, yeah,
9:49
Speaker 2: and she was like I feel this and I think this,
9:51
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I feel this and I think this.
9:53
Speaker 2: It was just so interesting to witness in that because
9:56
Speaker 2: it's like that was our threshold, you know, for comfort. Yeah,
10:00
Speaker 2: and we just like so much like pushed outside of
10:03
Speaker 2: that like threshold of comfort.
10:05
Speaker 1: It's crazy when you get anxious, because anxiety, I truly
10:07
Speaker 1: believe when you're anxious, you're worried about the future. Yeah,
10:10
Speaker 1: And when you're feeling depressed, you're living in the past.
10:12
Speaker 1: You're not just present and you're not You're anxious. You're
10:14
Speaker 1: not trusting that the universe has your back. You're not
10:16
Speaker 1: trusting that everything's going to work out. And I haven't
10:19
Speaker 1: felt this anxious for so long. But you're right. You
10:22
Speaker 1: have to double down on everything to regulate. Like if
10:25
Speaker 1: I meditate at night to put me to sleep, and
10:27
Speaker 1: now I'm like I have to do it morning as well. Yes,
10:29
Speaker 1: And I take ten bid breaths in the morning and
10:31
Speaker 1: now I'm like, Okay, I'm actually going to sit for
10:32
Speaker 1: five minutes and complete silence and go down to the
10:35
Speaker 1: beach more and just find it's like my toolboxes in
10:38
Speaker 1: front of me, which we teach in Rise and Side.
10:39
Speaker 1: We teach you how to create a toolbox, and it's like, Okay,
10:42
Speaker 1: these tools work for this kind of scenario, but doesn't
10:44
Speaker 1: work for that scenario. And when I feel like this,
10:46
Speaker 1: I actually need to pull something else. And it's just
10:48
Speaker 1: finding as many tools as you can to help you
10:50
Speaker 1: support you through this time because it is a heavier
10:52
Speaker 1: season and life. It's not always going to feel great. No,
10:56
Speaker 1: it's going to be so many hard times where you
10:57
Speaker 1: get thrown challenges that you didn't expect and you have
11:00
Speaker 1: to support yourself the best way that you can. But
11:02
Speaker 1: being this limbo of like the what ifs and the fear,
11:04
Speaker 1: it's it's very uncomfortable.
11:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, especially when you're trying to reason with like logic
11:09
Speaker 2: and your emotions.
11:10
Speaker 1: You know, it's like an intuition.
11:12
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, because you're trying to discern which one is,
11:15
Speaker 2: what which voice is, Which is this actually fear or
11:19
Speaker 2: is this intuition that's trying to warn me or is
11:21
Speaker 2: this the most logical way forward? You know, you're trying
11:23
Speaker 2: to like barter with yourself, right, all the different ways
11:27
Speaker 2: that you could go head noise. But like the longer
11:30
Speaker 2: you sit in that confusion, the heart of the decision
11:32
Speaker 2: feels because you just you take into consideration all the
11:35
Speaker 2: options and then you're like, Okay, well I haven't got
11:37
Speaker 2: any closer to my decision.
11:39
Speaker 1: Yes, you know. And it's also a good time to
11:41
Speaker 1: reach out for help and support as well. Like I
11:43
Speaker 1: just got a new coach and I had a session
11:44
Speaker 1: with them last week, and fuck it rocked me. Oh,
11:47
Speaker 1: I was so just regulated that day. Walked down the session,
11:50
Speaker 1: We're like, wow, that was amazing. I had to unpack
11:51
Speaker 1: my whole childhood and my whole relationship with Steve, and
11:54
Speaker 1: different things were coming up for me and different events
11:57
Speaker 1: over the years that I thought I had processed and
12:01
Speaker 1: I clearly haven't fully processed it. But yeah, for that
12:04
Speaker 1: whole day is it's just so dysregulated. But then at
12:06
Speaker 1: the end, I was like, Okay, this is part of
12:09
Speaker 1: the shedding, like shedding these old belief systems that are
12:11
Speaker 1: still there, these old wounds that are still there that
12:14
Speaker 1: I try to logically move my way through. Yeah, and
12:17
Speaker 1: I feel scared and also really excited that I've got
12:19
Speaker 1: this new support system that can help me navigate this
12:22
Speaker 1: next chapter. So if you are feeling lost, stuck or alone,
12:26
Speaker 1: like just once again we always talk about this, but
12:28
Speaker 1: even a rise inside like you don't have to do
12:29
Speaker 1: it alone. Yeah, sometimes we're not equipped with the right
12:32
Speaker 1: tools or the right knowledge or wisdom to help us
12:35
Speaker 1: through a chapter. And that's when you can reach out
12:37
Speaker 1: to help for a coach or a counselor or just
12:39
Speaker 1: the right women like someone just to help guide you,
12:41
Speaker 1: or not even guide you. Sometimes you just need to
12:43
Speaker 1: stabilizer of support to get's got this, Yes, push forward, Yeah,
12:47
Speaker 1: you can do this. I believe in you, and having
12:49
Speaker 1: that just makes the world of difference. It does.
12:51
Speaker 2: Even like for us, even if we don't give advice,
12:55
Speaker 2: it's like we ask questions yes, and then it's like, oh,
12:57
Speaker 2: maybe they offer some support where it's like, oh, but
12:59
Speaker 2: you know what, I remember a couple of weeks ago,
13:01
Speaker 2: you said this to me and that felt really important
13:03
Speaker 2: to you. Does that still feel true to you now?
13:04
Speaker 2: And that kind of almost helps you make a decision.
13:07
Speaker 1: You get clarity, Yeah, without like.
13:08
Speaker 2: Spiraling in your head and you being the only person
13:11
Speaker 2: who's kind of making that decision.
13:13
Speaker 1: Yeah. And also when you're disregulated, you can't think clear,
13:16
Speaker 1: and that's why we always you'll hear us bang on
13:18
Speaker 1: about it, probably for as long as you listen to
13:20
Speaker 1: this picture. But your nervous system regulation work is so
13:23
Speaker 1: important because when you're all in your head and your
13:25
Speaker 1: body's dysregulating, and you feel sick and anxious and you're
13:27
Speaker 1: sweating in your like you can't breathe, how can you
13:29
Speaker 1: make a decision that's right. Yeah, don't even know what's
13:31
Speaker 1: right because you're not allowing yourself to just slow down,
13:34
Speaker 1: check in and just like ground for a second to
13:36
Speaker 1: find that clarity.
13:38
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And this was me last Friday, I said this
13:41
Speaker 2: to you. I went to Soak, which is just like
13:43
Speaker 2: a recovery center here on the Gold Coast, and I
13:46
Speaker 2: was in the spars and stuff, and I was going
13:47
Speaker 2: to go in the cold plunge, but I stopped myself
13:50
Speaker 2: because I knew that if I'd gone into that, I
13:52
Speaker 2: would have sent myself into more dysregulation. So I could
13:54
Speaker 2: already feel it in my body. And then I ended
13:57
Speaker 2: up going to the spa, and then I went to
13:58
Speaker 2: the steam room, which I don't normally do. Once I
14:00
Speaker 2: got out of the steam room, I could feel the
14:03
Speaker 2: dysregulation in my chest. It was like brewing all through
14:06
Speaker 2: my chest, all up my throat and like my esophagus
14:09
Speaker 2: is what it felt like. And I just remember feeling
14:11
Speaker 2: like that panicky feeling of like a panic attack. And
14:13
Speaker 2: I have not had that at least two years, Like
14:15
Speaker 2: it's been so long since I've had that. It required
14:19
Speaker 2: me doubling down in those moments of my tool belt,
14:22
Speaker 2: really honing in on like going to bed earlier, getting
14:25
Speaker 2: enough sleep, getting enough rest, and like having my alone time,
14:28
Speaker 2: which I really recoup both with people and also by myself.
14:32
Speaker 2: And it was just like giving myself those things in
14:34
Speaker 2: that moment of like no phone, no this, yeah, and
14:37
Speaker 2: really like supporting myself in that moment.
14:39
Speaker 1: Yeah.
14:39
Speaker 2: But you know what else is really interesting in this
14:42
Speaker 2: time of shedding, if you're going through just life in general,
14:46
Speaker 2: there's also discomfort when you're growing. Oh and we talk
14:49
Speaker 2: about this all the time. We did normalize that home,
14:52
Speaker 2: not even just change, like change in itself is uncomfortable,
14:55
Speaker 2: whether it heard or bad. And I really felt that
14:57
Speaker 2: coming into this new year. A lot of the discomfort
14:59
Speaker 2: I felt in my chest, especially is this is what
15:02
Speaker 2: it feels like. It feels like stretching my capacity to
15:04
Speaker 2: hold more, more work, more roles, more responsibility, more money,
15:09
Speaker 2: more this, you know, just like really stretching my capacity
15:12
Speaker 2: and through changing your habits, becoming somebody that you're proud of,
15:17
Speaker 2: you know, stepping into a role that you haven't yet
15:19
Speaker 2: stepped into before.
15:20
Speaker 1: It is uncomfortable.
15:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's uncomfortable to stretch your capacity to hold more.
15:25
Speaker 2: But again, this is why we bang on about nervous
15:27
Speaker 2: system work, because through regulating yourself you learn how to
15:31
Speaker 2: hold all of those things. And this season, I'm just
15:34
Speaker 2: allowing it to be that, like I'm mentally preparing for
15:37
Speaker 2: what's coming next, bigger things, bigger things.
15:39
Speaker 1: And if you're listening to this, you probably have more
15:41
Speaker 1: that you want in your life, absolutely, more connection, more money,
15:44
Speaker 1: more freedom, more growth in your work, more growth in anything.
15:47
Speaker 1: But to get over to that next level, there is
15:50
Speaker 1: that moment where you have to get really uncomfortable to
15:53
Speaker 1: learn and expand and to hold more. So just know
15:55
Speaker 1: that it's nothing's wrong that you're feeling like this, Like
15:57
Speaker 1: we don't wrong ourselves for feeling like this. It's just like, okay,
16:00
Speaker 1: being aware of it. We feel like this regulating ourselves,
16:04
Speaker 1: breathing through through having conversations, reaching out for help, and
16:07
Speaker 1: then making decisions from a really good place, not a
16:10
Speaker 1: place out of fear.
16:11
Speaker 2: Yeah. But this is also part of the reason why
16:13
Speaker 2: we hired a business coach too, because you're like, okay, cool,
16:16
Speaker 2: we need someone who can support us in this next
16:18
Speaker 2: phase and this next phase that we want to create. Okay, cool,
16:21
Speaker 2: who's going to be able to hold us through that?
16:23
Speaker 1: You know, hold our hand, We've got our hands. I
16:25
Speaker 1: don't know what we're doing.
16:25
Speaker 2: Well, we cry and I was kidding, no, but it's
16:28
Speaker 2: like we're learning new skills, we're learning new things, how
16:30
Speaker 2: to do things differently, a new area.
16:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, well we're both used to and even that it
16:35
Speaker 1: was like the difference between doing one on one coaching
16:37
Speaker 1: with her or a group and we were like, no,
16:38
Speaker 1: we actually we're going to pay more to get one
16:40
Speaker 1: on one because that's what we feel like we need
16:42
Speaker 1: right now.
16:42
Speaker 2: Ands on support right now.
16:43
Speaker 1: So don't feel embarrassed, whether it's work or child wood
16:46
Speaker 1: trauma or anything that you're going through. Like, if you
16:48
Speaker 1: need support, you need support. You don't get a manual
16:50
Speaker 1: on how to be a perfect everything. You're not a chef,
16:51
Speaker 1: you're not a pt you're not a psychologist. Like that's
16:54
Speaker 1: why you go to the experts to get the help
16:55
Speaker 1: that you need. Yeah, and you have no shame in that.
16:57
Speaker 2: And you know, it's not to say like you can't
16:58
Speaker 2: get there, because I believe that you would. But it's like,
17:00
Speaker 2: if you can condense the time and how quickly it
17:02
Speaker 2: takes you to get there.
17:03
Speaker 1: You're not make it not as painful either.
17:06
Speaker 2: And also that part not feeling so alone in the gym, yes,
17:09
Speaker 2: because a lot of the times we feel super isolated
17:11
Speaker 2: in what we're going through unless you have a good
17:13
Speaker 2: support system around you. And a lot of the times
17:16
Speaker 2: people don't have that level of support in the way
17:18
Speaker 2: that they crave to have it. So if you find
17:20
Speaker 2: those environments, put yourself in it, because it will be
17:22
Speaker 2: the difference between you know, you taking another three years
17:26
Speaker 2: to get there or six months to get there, you know,
17:28
Speaker 2: and also feeling like, oh my gosh, I'm actually not
17:31
Speaker 2: a loan on this journey.
17:32
Speaker 1: And it's easy to hide when you're by yourself. Oh
17:34
Speaker 1: my god, it this business coach, I'm like already fearing that.
17:38
Speaker 1: You know, my old story is coming out that you're dumb.
17:39
Speaker 1: You won't understand it, Like there'ud be a waste of time,
17:41
Speaker 1: waste of money. Like if I was by myself, I
17:43
Speaker 1: would just avoid learning all of this because I'm like, well,
17:46
Speaker 1: I can't do it. I'm too dumb. Ora is with her.
17:47
Speaker 1: I'm like, she's not going to sit there and have
17:49
Speaker 1: me say I'm too dumb. I'm just gonna say, shut
17:51
Speaker 1: the fuck up. Are you doing this? Yeah, I'm going
17:53
Speaker 1: to sit here until you understand it. Yeah, do this together. Yeah,
17:55
Speaker 1: that's what you paid me for. Yeah. So I'm like
17:57
Speaker 1: I can't hide.
17:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's going to be like we're going to
17:59
Speaker 2: rewrite that story. Yeah.
18:01
Speaker 1: My counseling session last week with the psychologist, she's like,
18:03
Speaker 1: you look like you need to cry, look like you're
18:05
Speaker 1: holding it back to you need to cry. And I
18:07
Speaker 1: was like, but by myself, yeah, I avoid it. You'll distract.
18:11
Speaker 1: I'll go eachalk, I play with my kids, or get
18:13
Speaker 1: on my phone, I'll work big and it just all
18:16
Speaker 1: comes bottling up. And now, Okay, you wonder why you
18:18
Speaker 1: feeling anxious? Yeah, holding all that last year. No, we're
18:22
Speaker 1: gonna go there. Yeah, but I need to do that
18:24
Speaker 1: I'm not afraid to say that. I'm really struggling to
18:26
Speaker 1: do that on my own. So I hide the support
18:28
Speaker 1: that I need in the right areas that I need,
18:30
Speaker 1: and I believe that will put me in a really
18:32
Speaker 1: different position and mindset this time next year.
18:35
Speaker 2: And how easy is it when you're going through something
18:37
Speaker 2: to isolate and pull away oh people who are uses
18:39
Speaker 2: because you're like, well, I don't want to be seen
18:41
Speaker 2: in this. And there's also a story I do this
18:42
Speaker 2: sometimes where I'm like, I don't want to bring the
18:45
Speaker 2: energy of the group down.
18:46
Speaker 1: Ye bring No, I'm in a really low vibe. I
18:49
Speaker 1: don't know if you want to be Yeah, do you?
18:50
Speaker 2: Are you sure you want to walk with me today?
18:51
Speaker 1: And like love and the goods? So I'm gonna bring
18:53
Speaker 1: up the vibes yes literally, or you can just sit
18:55
Speaker 1: in that and I'll hold you in it.
18:56
Speaker 2: Yes. It's like, oh you've got twenty, I've got eighty, yeah,
18:59
Speaker 2: ninety literally yeah. So it's just one of those things.
19:02
Speaker 2: It's so cheeky, the way that we keep ourselves where
19:06
Speaker 2: we are. Yes, you know, because when we talk about
19:09
Speaker 2: all of this, having that person or that environment or
19:12
Speaker 2: that group or some space that you can go to
19:14
Speaker 2: that is the safe container. Yeah, you don't have to
19:16
Speaker 2: be the strong one. You can be the person who
19:18
Speaker 2: crumbles in that space and go, oh my god, I'm
19:20
Speaker 2: actually allowed to ask for help in this way man,
19:22
Speaker 2: And I think that is such a powerful thing.
19:24
Speaker 1: It's that itself, like it's twenty twenty six. But you
19:26
Speaker 1: do not need to shame ourselves, to shame anyone putting
19:29
Speaker 1: their hand up and saying I need help back and
19:31
Speaker 1: like my mom's day, for sure, like you were looked
19:33
Speaker 1: at differently if you've got a counselor or you needed help,
19:36
Speaker 1: like yeah, tough enough, or like you're broken.
19:39
Speaker 2: Have a cup of concrete.
19:40
Speaker 1: Yeah literally, Whereas now like no, let's normalize asking for
19:43
Speaker 1: help when we need it.
19:44
Speaker 2: That's what people are there for. Something that was super
19:46
Speaker 2: powerful for us. We've both done this to each other.
19:49
Speaker 2: There was times where we both were really going through
19:51
Speaker 2: it last year and we both just said to each other,
19:54
Speaker 2: maybe you can crumble here. Yeah, and both of us
19:57
Speaker 2: broke down.
19:59
Speaker 1: Oh my godness, I think mom's on a walk and
20:01
Speaker 1: everyone's looking at me as a walk. I'm like, you
20:04
Speaker 1: don't have to be strong today, and Okay, I'm not
20:08
Speaker 1: going to be strong, but like.
20:09
Speaker 2: Having that permission to not have to be the strong
20:12
Speaker 2: one allows you to just have your full experience. And like,
20:14
Speaker 2: I really do believe that in this period of discomfort,
20:17
Speaker 2: for whatever it is that you're experiencing it with, you
20:20
Speaker 2: have to be willing to allow yourself to feel through
20:22
Speaker 2: it and not run away from it.
20:23
Speaker 1: Definitely, And how good do you feel after a good cry? Oh?
20:26
Speaker 1: Sometimes the next day I'm like, you know, has really
20:28
Speaker 1: upset your stay? I actually feel a lot better after
20:30
Speaker 1: just talking about it. It had a huge release, Like
20:32
Speaker 1: it's still there, but I feel like because it's stored energy,
20:35
Speaker 1: so crying releases it and moves through the energy. It's
20:38
Speaker 1: a beautiful way to get it out. And it doesn't
20:40
Speaker 1: mean your problems go away, but it means you're clearer
20:42
Speaker 1: to actually move through them rather just sitting inspiringly into
20:46
Speaker 1: a deep, dark hole that's even harder to climb out.
20:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, And also as well, if you're going through this
20:50
Speaker 2: season like what we are, where things are feeling heavier
20:54
Speaker 2: or just harder than normal, it's also a good opportunity
20:57
Speaker 2: for you to look at what you're doing in your
20:59
Speaker 2: life and like subtracting a few things yeah. You know,
21:01
Speaker 2: like if you're you're super active and like right now
21:03
Speaker 2: doesn't feel good to do that and you're feeling like
21:06
Speaker 2: it's draining more than anything, just pull back on like
21:08
Speaker 2: one or two things, give yourself that time and space
21:11
Speaker 2: to like kind of refill your cup again and then go, okay,
21:13
Speaker 2: me implement that back in. I find for me that
21:16
Speaker 2: really helps, Like if I'm really really stretched, I'll be like, Okay,
21:20
Speaker 2: I'm not watching any TV series, I'm not doing this, So.
21:23
Speaker 1: No to that great group yes or something.
21:25
Speaker 2: I literally said no to a group event on Saturday
21:28
Speaker 2: because I was just like, I have a huge week
21:30
Speaker 2: coming up, I'm already dysregulated, and I think that would
21:32
Speaker 2: send me over the edge definitely. So I was like
21:34
Speaker 2: thank you, but also no, thank you, Like right now
21:36
Speaker 2: I need to choose myself.
21:38
Speaker 1: It can be hard to say no because I can
21:39
Speaker 1: invite it to a dinner this week as well, and
21:40
Speaker 1: I was like, I so want to say yes, I
21:43
Speaker 1: have massive pomo so they invited me, but with my
21:46
Speaker 1: week ahead, I just I can't. I can't have any
21:48
Speaker 1: extra energy out because I actually have to get through
21:50
Speaker 1: each day and there's such big days. Having those boundaries
21:53
Speaker 1: as well, or to protect your energy.
21:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, just paying attention to what you need. You end
21:57
Speaker 2: up getting really good at it. When you start paying
21:58
Speaker 2: attention to okay cool, my energy feels it either really
22:01
Speaker 2: good right now I'm really drained, and then going okay cool.
22:04
Speaker 2: How can I support myself in this moment?
22:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, And we wanted to bring it into because I
22:08
Speaker 1: know I get a lot of DMS and acually I
22:10
Speaker 1: don't feel like I portray this, but maybe in some
22:12
Speaker 1: level I do. But a lot of mom's like, how
22:14
Speaker 1: do you do it? Or you look like you do
22:15
Speaker 1: it with such ease? And I want to talk about
22:17
Speaker 1: this today because it's not easy, Like even I've been
22:20
Speaker 1: talking to Tiana about it, and I cried to Steve
22:22
Speaker 1: the other night. My kids are fighting like cats and dogs.
22:27
Speaker 2: Like.
22:27
Speaker 1: There was one cute moment that I videoed. Of course,
22:29
Speaker 1: I videoed it a Tali the other day and everyone's like,
22:31
Speaker 1: oh my god, your kids get along so well, and
22:33
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know, it's logan for you.
22:36
Speaker 1: This was like a rare occurrency. That's why I videoed it.
22:39
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, do people think that motherhood
22:42
Speaker 1: is just easy for me? And it's not. I cried
22:45
Speaker 1: to Steve the other night because I was already having
22:47
Speaker 1: a hard day and it was nine weeks of holidays
22:51
Speaker 1: and any went away. We don't have much support, so
22:53
Speaker 1: Steve and I would tag Tom because all our businesses
22:54
Speaker 1: continue running. Yeah, if anything over the Christmas holidays, it's
22:57
Speaker 1: ten times harder because all our staff for on holidays,
22:59
Speaker 1: so we have to pick up so much more extra
23:01
Speaker 1: work and make sure everything's running. And it's a really
23:03
Speaker 1: tough time whilst trying to be a really present parent.
23:07
Speaker 1: It was a lot so but the end of the
23:08
Speaker 1: nine weeks, I just felt very tapped out. Like I
23:11
Speaker 1: don't normally say this, but I was very ready for
23:12
Speaker 1: Taj to go back to school because the two of
23:15
Speaker 1: them together. I cried at the end of one day
23:17
Speaker 1: and I just said to Steve like I feel like
23:18
Speaker 1: I'm just not the fun mum that I know I am,
23:21
Speaker 1: because I'm putting up fires all day. Yeah. And we're
23:24
Speaker 1: in the bedroom and Steve called Taj in and it
23:26
Speaker 1: was a really beautiful conversation. Steve was trying to explain
23:29
Speaker 1: to Taj how it is being a parent. I said
23:31
Speaker 1: to him, I don't expect you to understand, but I
23:33
Speaker 1: want to be a fun mum. I want to be
23:35
Speaker 1: playing with you guys and playing hide and seek and
23:38
Speaker 1: taking you to do a cool fun stuff. When you
23:40
Speaker 1: are antagonizing your sister a whole time and you're fighting
23:43
Speaker 1: over something like having the same toy all day every day,
23:46
Speaker 1: it's really really exhausting. And he was really cute, Taj,
23:49
Speaker 1: just like, you are a really fun mum, and said,
23:50
Speaker 1: I can be, but not when I'm putting out fires
23:52
Speaker 1: all day and I'm really really over stimulated. And I
23:55
Speaker 1: don't know why he gets enjoyment out of antagonizing Tyler,
23:58
Speaker 1: Like you can see this.
23:58
Speaker 2: Little smirking of it. Hey just shadows elf.
24:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, we were trying to understand why, and I said,
24:04
Speaker 1: even if you don't understand, like I'm just telling you,
24:05
Speaker 1: I'm finding it really hard right now. And he gave
24:07
Speaker 1: me a big cuddle and he's like, you're the best mum,
24:09
Speaker 1: and I love you, and I'll try and not fight
24:11
Speaker 1: Tylers so much. But I wanted to talk about that
24:14
Speaker 1: honestly and openly because I don't want any parent or
24:16
Speaker 1: anyone to think that I'm just like cruising through life,
24:18
Speaker 1: because you just know how it is. Sometimes it's fucking
24:20
Speaker 1: hard when you've got kids and you're going through your
24:23
Speaker 1: own personal stuff and you're trying to run a business
24:24
Speaker 1: and you're trying to stay regulated, plus washing.
24:27
Speaker 2: And fires and everything else.
24:29
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Like I feel like I've got three
24:30
Speaker 1: hundred balls juggling in the air and they're all just
24:32
Speaker 1: coming down crashing at the moment. Like it's not easy,
24:35
Speaker 1: but all we can do is the best that we
24:37
Speaker 1: can reach out for support, as much support as you need,
24:40
Speaker 1: and one step at a time. Yeah, not every day
24:43
Speaker 1: is going to be great, but just be kind to
24:45
Speaker 1: yourself in that process. That's tough. So if you're a
24:48
Speaker 1: parent out there and you're feeling overwhelmed, just know that,
24:50
Speaker 1: like many of us are feeling like that. And thank
24:52
Speaker 1: god school's back. Thank god schools back.
24:57
Speaker 2: Thanks you for sharing that, babe.
24:58
Speaker 1: You're welcome. So that was our intengamous sharing, just a
25:01
Speaker 1: really honest, raw, real talk about our little life update.
25:05
Speaker 1: And if you haven't heard of the snake shedding, then
25:07
Speaker 1: definitely look into it more because it makes a lot
25:09
Speaker 1: of sense for how we're all feeling. Even things like
25:11
Speaker 1: cleaning out your closet they say, old clothes, old shoe,
25:14
Speaker 1: like anything you're not using. It definitely makes you feel
25:17
Speaker 1: more cluttered in your environment, which makes your mind feel
25:19
Speaker 1: more cluttered. Like anything that's not serving you get rid of. Yeah,
25:22
Speaker 1: so we're like make a list tonight, lay in bed
25:24
Speaker 1: and like take some big breasths and just write down
25:26
Speaker 1: everything you feel is not filling a line without things
25:29
Speaker 1: in your work, your friendships, your relationship, a behavior, your clothes,
25:34
Speaker 1: your shoes, your pantsry, like whatever it is, like clean
25:36
Speaker 1: it out.
25:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like no, something that we actually both do is
25:39
Speaker 2: like a routinely clean out. O. We do at least
25:42
Speaker 2: at least every three months for me every six months.
25:44
Speaker 2: And I just find it's just that like beautiful recent
25:46
Speaker 2: thing because it's like clear mind, clear space in your
25:48
Speaker 2: car too. It really does that, Oh getting a car everything. Yeah,
25:52
Speaker 2: I'm even gonna buy some fresh sheets.
25:54
Speaker 1: Oh I love it. Thanks for joining us, guys. We
25:58
Speaker 1: hope this resonate or just even if it just makes
26:00
Speaker 1: you not feel so alone or not so crazy, like
26:02
Speaker 1: say with the parenting thing, if you're feeling like you're
26:04
Speaker 1: snapping your kids all the time. There's so many of
26:06
Speaker 1: us that are feeling like that. And it's just a
26:07
Speaker 1: heavier season right now and we all go through it.
26:10
Speaker 1: Just do the best that you can. We're right there
26:12
Speaker 1: with you.
26:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know it's just a season. Yes, doesn't
26:15
Speaker 2: last forever, last forever, but there's obviously something we have
26:17
Speaker 2: to learn in this period, and then on the other
26:19
Speaker 2: side of it, we'll understand why.
26:21
Speaker 1: Definitely, thanks for joining us, guys. We'll see you next Monday.
26:24
Speaker 1: Bye bye.