Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Alan Goes Instacarting

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Phone Tap: Alan Goes Instacarting · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

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  Speaker 1: One eight hundred do ui away now offering free remote
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  Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
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  Speaker 1: Trust Brook, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
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  Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred doui
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  Speaker 1: away dot Com or call eight hundred do.
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  Speaker 2: You y away Today.
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  Speaker 3: We call a high powered type, a business woman who's
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  Speaker 3: got a very busy schedule.
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  Speaker 1: Oh sure, she's gonna think this is funny.
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  Speaker 3: Then she's used to getting exactly what she wants when
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  Speaker 3: she wants it, with no time for nonsense. Oh life,
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  Speaker 3: But what happens when her Instacart delivery is taking four
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  Speaker 3: times as long as normal and her shopper is a
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  Speaker 3: ninety two year old man just wants some clarification on
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  Speaker 3: her grosser.
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  Speaker 2: That's right.
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  Speaker 3: One of our listeners has the distinct pleasure of dealing
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  Speaker 3: with Alan winter Bottom as he does his very best
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  Speaker 3: to fulfill her order in the most allen way possible. Already,
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  Speaker 3: it's your phone tap right now, said another Mornings on
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  Speaker 3: the twenties.
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  Speaker 4: Hello, Hello, yeah, hello, Hi, Hi. My name is Alan
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  Speaker 4: winter Bottom. I'm an employee of Instacart.
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  Speaker 5: Okay, is this regarding my order.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, that that's correct.
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  Speaker 5: Okay, I'm your.
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  Speaker 2: I'm your personal shopper.
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  Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, are you calling me on the status of
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  Speaker 5: my order? Because I mean, has this been a situation
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  Speaker 5: lately where you guys are just taking forever?
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  Speaker 4: You're coming at me hotter than a than a red
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  Speaker 4: pepper right now?
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  Speaker 2: Okay, you should slow your role there, lady.
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  Speaker 5: I pay a lot of money to use this service,
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  Speaker 5: and you're supposed to be deliver within a certain time.
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  Speaker 2: Well, good for you, money bags in my face.
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  Speaker 5: I'm asking you where my order is. Oh, and you
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  Speaker 5: all you've done is insult me.
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  Speaker 4: I want to go down your list to make sure
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  Speaker 4: that I don't miss nothing.
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  Speaker 5: I don't understand the list is a list.
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  Speaker 4: I just want to I want to make sure i'm
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  Speaker 4: reading it on here on you old phone there.
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  Speaker 2: You want peas and carrots.
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  Speaker 5: Right, frozen peas and frozen Yeah?
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  Speaker 4: I bet you have a nice body.
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  Speaker 2: Excuse me, you nice and trim?
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  Speaker 5: Do you think it's an appropriate talk to a customer.
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  Speaker 4: I weigh almost seventy pounds and that includes my titanium hip.
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  Speaker 5: I am very confused of what this phone call is
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  Speaker 5: here to entail. You're supposed to be my shopper. I
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  Speaker 5: gave you a list.
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  Speaker 4: Next it item, you want some what are these triple
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  Speaker 4: A batteries?
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  Speaker 5: And yeah, something triple A batteries A large twenty.
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  Speaker 4: Hey, you know I can make a battery from a
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  Speaker 4: potato and a spool of copper wires.
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  Speaker 2: I be save you about ninety nine.
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  Speaker 5: I just want my order. Can you please just go
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  Speaker 5: get my order?
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  Speaker 4: That's right, you got all the money to pay for
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  Speaker 4: the fancy stuff.
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  Speaker 5: How I need groceries to survive. I need groceries to live.
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  Speaker 4: Okay, back to your list there, I got your half
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  Speaker 4: pounds of wild honey ham, and I wasn't okay with
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  Speaker 4: the way that they sliced it at the Dell.
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  Speaker 5: I don't care how they placed it.
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  Speaker 2: No, it wasn't like they did it back in the navy. Okay,
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  Speaker 2: but I don't back then they had.
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  Speaker 4: To they stowed it for nine months, so they had
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  Speaker 4: to put spices and rub it with oregano and hard salt.
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  Speaker 5: Look for a cooking class. Just got my ham and
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  Speaker 5: bring it to me.
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  Speaker 2: I can. I can spice it for you in my
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  Speaker 2: car if you like.
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  Speaker 5: Look, I'm working right now. I don't have time to
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  Speaker 5: go over the list I sent to you. That alleviates
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  Speaker 5: me from having to go through a list.
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  Speaker 2: Who where am I?
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  Speaker 5: Are you sleeping back to your Listen, Grandpa, I'm done
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  Speaker 5: listening to you. Go over my list. I know what's
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  Speaker 5: on the list.
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  Speaker 4: Gosh, you have you sure do have a sultry voice, Dobby.
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  Speaker 2: He reminds, reminds me of Glinda.
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  Speaker 4: You know, Glinda from from the Wizard of Oz, the
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  Speaker 4: good Witch.
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  Speaker 2: Gosh, what I would do to her. She'd hop right
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  Speaker 2: into that pink bubble.
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  Speaker 4: We used to date back in the forties, got her
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  Speaker 4: hooked on some stuff.
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  Speaker 5: Speaking right now, I am going to get some fire.
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  Speaker 5: Not not clear?
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  Speaker 4: Am I sensing some sexual tension between us?
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  Speaker 5: I'm not hitting on you.
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  Speaker 2: Are you sure? Because my shirt just lost four buttons.
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  Speaker 5: I don't have time for Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: I don't have time for any of your nonsense either.
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  Speaker 4: I'm trying to tell you right now that this is
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  Speaker 4: a prank phone call, but you won't shut your trap.
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  Speaker 2: Excute excuse me. I said it's a prank call. Lady.
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  Speaker 2: You're on the radio with Brooking and.
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  Speaker 4: That guy in the morning. I don't remember his name,
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  Speaker 4: Jeffrey or something.
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  Speaker 2: Stupid?
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  Speaker 5: Are you freaking kidding me right now.
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  Speaker 2: I'm not kidding you. I'm serious.
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  Speaker 3: Thank god your husband Ben set you up for a
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  Speaker 3: phone town. You came at that old man like on fire.
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  Speaker 4: You're you're a bit of a firecracker. If things don't
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  Speaker 4: work out with you.
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  Speaker 5: And Ben pants, buddy.
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  Speaker 4: I get double chocolate pudding at supper time. We could
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  Speaker 4: do two spoons one pudding cup.
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  Speaker 5: I don't want to anything. You wake up every morning,
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  Speaker 5: weekday morning brooking Jeffrey in the morning.