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228: Mastering the AlikeAbility System: Boost Sales Conversions with Guest Nancy Zare · Imperfect Marketing

• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome back to another episode of Imperfect Marketing.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kendra Korman, and today I am joined by Nancy Zare.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: She is the creator of Likeability System.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: She reveals how buyers buy, so you can convert over 50% of prospects into clients, get to pick and choose who you work with and be so busy that you are turning business away, which I must say that when you get to that point, it is just so empowering to be able to turn people away and pick who you want to be working with, which I think is huge.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: So welcome, Nancy.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much for joining me.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's exciting to be here, kendra, and give a few nuggets to the audience, so you're a psychologist, right?
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: Is that where?
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: this all started, so why did you go into psychology?
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: I was born a psychologist so I didn't have to go into it.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: I've always been a student of human behavior.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: As it turned out, my parents had a stormy marriage and didn't get along.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: So at the age of 10, I saw an intervention on TV to help quarreling children get along and I decided I would try it on them.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: And they let me and I know they're not alive to ask them at this point do they remember, and why did they let me do it?
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: So I can only speculate that there might have been two reasons.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: One, they were in so much pain that they were looking for any intervention.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Remember, and why did they let me do it?
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: So I can only speculate that there might have been two reasons.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: One, they were in so much pain that they were looking for any intervention.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Or two, maybe they saw something in their daughter that suggested I could help them.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I will tell you that at the end of this intervention I turned to my dad Now, mind you, both parents are native-born English-speaking adults and I said to him this is what to do, so mom will feel loved.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: And I turned to mom and I said to her this is what you do, so dad will be respected and notice the words changed Because, as you know, in marketing you need to talk directly to your prospect and a big mistake people make is that they think that there's just one size fits all language, and there's not.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I really like that.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Yes, different things are important to different people, and you definitely want to be picking who you're working with.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's the power of what you're talking about here is being able to pick and attracting the right people.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about this alikeability system that you have.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Tell me what is it?
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: So likeability is raising the perception.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: A perception is a thought or feeling in the other person, like your prospect.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: To raise the feeling, the thought that you get me, we're alike.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Hence I call it a like ability.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: And when people feel that you get me, we're alike, they automatically relax, so they're comfortable with you, which is very important in a sales process.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Now, not only that, but the confidence builds and the trust builds which, as you know, we do business with people we know like and trust.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: But, most importantly, sales resistance drops away.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Most people don't recognize that everyone's on guard in a sales conversation.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: We don't want to be sold, we love buying but don't try to sell me.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: And so when the trust is high and the sales resistance is low, it opens the door to doing business together.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: And that's what the likability system accomplishes.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: It lets you do business quickly and authentically with people with whom you're alike.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: And I think you know I mean any sales system that you look at, I think most of them will tell you that, yeah, people want to do business with people that they know, like and trust, but also people that they feel they're similar to.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I was talking to a sales trainer a long time ago and like he doesn't like coffee or didn't like tea and he's like, but if his prospect is drinking tea, he'll sit across from him and drink tea or coffee, whichever one it was that he didn't like, I can't remember, because he would be mirroring him to try to that person, to try and lower those barriers that you're talking about.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: So I think you know there's a lot of research that has gone into showing that that is just, is very accurate, is very accurate.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: I have some good news for the audience, and that is you don't have to drink tea, coffee or any other beverage that you don't like in order to get someone to feel we're alike.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: Because it's not the behaviors, kendra, that will make somebody say we're alike, it's the values, and so the values can be.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: They come out in different ways.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: They come out in the words we use, they come out in our behaviors, and so forth.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: So those are the areas where, yes, if you bring to the forefront those values and those behaviors, the other person will say to themselves you get me, we're alike.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's good.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Well, and I especially think the longer is, the more we become digital and online.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: With so much of what we're doing, words matter more.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Yes, words are very important and, of course, in the marketing world, what do we have?
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: We have images, and we know images connote a thousand words, right, a picture is a thousand words.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: And then we have the words themselves, and the words are trying to help create a picture.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: So interesting how they both go together, right, and so the values that are really in some sense almost unexpressible because they're feelings deep within the core of the individual.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: We're trying, through words and through graphics, through images, to somehow tap into that place within the prospect that says oh, you get me, we're alike.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: So one of the things that you talk about are the four buying styles, right?
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: So talk to me a little bit about what those are.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: So many people are familiar and I bet you are too, kendra with the idea that there are four different personality styles.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: This dates back to the era of Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine, and you've probably heard of desk and certainly people have heard of Myers-Briggs.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: There are animals, colors, objects You're nodding, yes, of course.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Medicine.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: And you've probably heard of DISC and certainly people have heard of Myers-Briggs.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: There are animals, colors, objects You're nodding, yes, of course.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: We know them all.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: These four styles take different amounts of time to process information.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: In fact, they have a different approach for gathering information before they make a decision.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: And after 35 years of research not on my own, but a colleague and myself we've discovered that you can classify these four buyers by numbers.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: The numbers represent how long it takes someone, how many contacts it takes, to make a decision, and so the numbers are two, four, six and eight.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: The number two buyer makes up their mind in only one at most two contacts.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Quick, decisive, action oriented.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: They want things done off their plate.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: They're good to go, very quick to decide.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: They're also difficult to follow up, okay, so bear that in mind.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: As quick as they come, they also fly away.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: And you're smiling because I bet you've dealt with a few people like that that were hard to pin down later.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: I am one of those.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: There you go, okay, and then.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: And then we have the number four buyer.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: This person takes up two or three contacts, so they're relatively fast, but they need one more touch point after they've said yes.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Because this is the person who gets cold feet, who ruminates and thinks about oh my God, they replayed the situation and they have self-doubt and that's the one who will ghost you or no show, you know and you don't know what happened, because you seem to have a good relationship and then all of a sudden, they're gone.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: And that's because they need one extra touch point after they've said yes.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Hence four.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: And then we've got the number six buyer.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: This is the person who's very methodical.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: They have a process.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: They need to get outside testimony and references and recommendations, and they read the Google reviews and so forth.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: So this one wants stability.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: They want a tried and true system.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: And our last person, the number eight buyer.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: Now, visually, think of the eight on its side.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: It's the symbol for infinity.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: This is the person who starts with A and takes forever to make up their mind.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: They have to think about it and they are gathering scientific evidence.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: They want research statistics, they want to know their return on investment and so forth.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: So those are the four styles.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Very cool and I can see it totally tying to to disc it's.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: It's funny because so I'm an ID, which means I mean I make decisions pretty quickly, and my husband is a CS, which is the total and complete opposite.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: And let's just say this weekend I was saying to him no, we ordered it, it's good, we're not testing other options.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: If it works, we're done, we're moving on.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: There was some hearing protection that he got for some stuff and it was like no, no, no, it either works or it doesn't, and we're sticking with it and moving on, because it's going to take more time to ship it back and get something else.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: And no, we're not doing that.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: So yeah, and, by the way, the 2468 absolutely correlate with DISC.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I can definitely see it.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: That would be him All right.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about how to determine someone's buying style.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Again, I can identify it a little bit by likening it towards disc.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: But I mean, I know my husband really well and I know myself pretty well.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: How do you get the feeling for it with someone you don't know?
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: That's a great question and of course, this is what I teach, because the quicker you know somebody's style, the quicker you now can adjust what you say and do to match the style and hence build rapport and make the sale.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: And so there are several signs to look for, the first being how do they dress?
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: There are different ways people dress colors, fabrics, style, you know that indicate what their personality code is.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: Second is how they speak.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Again, listen to how they deliver words Fast talker, slow talker, lots of inflection, monotone.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: You know these are different ways to identify someone's style.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: How they write, because do they write with bullet points?
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: Do they write in complete sentences, full paragraphs?
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Again, these are indicators of someone's style.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: One word.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I get in trouble with that one.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: That's my D showing.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: Very quick, okay.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: And then how they behave right, and here's a good one that is fun to watch.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: When did they arrive to the event?
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Did they arrive early?
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Did they arrive late?
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Did they have an excuse or did they just march in like you're just lucky, I'm here?
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: I mean so different behavioral cues and how they post on social media, even which platforms they choose to post on, is an indicator of style, and I love analyzing photos, and that's the reason why I'm called the LinkedIn whisperer or the sales whisperer, because I teach the skill of identifying somebody's style by just going to their social media material, and it's there in plain sight exactly what words they're using and the photo that they have of themselves.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Very cool.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: That's just so interesting.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: I really do like that Now.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about communication, because one of the questions I have here is how do you use spirituality to communicate better?
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I am a person who's deeply spiritual and it's something that I think I've had since childhood, but kind of denied.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: And I denied it, I think, because if you're like me or you know, listener, think about it for yourself.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: You know we got a heavy dose when we were a kid.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: There was a good chance somebody you know brought you to and from that religious organization and maybe you even found it a little threatening, like you know you were going to die and go to hell if you didn't believe the way we believe.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: So I kind of rejected religion for a long time, which then made it hard for me to recognize that I really am spiritual, because spiritual is very different than following a code of conduct that religion suggests.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: It's really trying to connect with a higher purpose and recognize that there is some higher power that is available and that I can plug into it.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: I am a part of it, it's a part of me.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: I'm only like a drop in the ocean.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: It's bigger than I am and sometimes the drop thinks it is the ocean, but I'm just the drop, and so it's very important for me to recognize that and I bring that to my clients in the way of being able to be heart-centered, to really listen to them, to hear what's going on other than the words, because, though we've been talking a bit about how words can define personality style, you have to sometimes go underneath the words and go deeper to really understand what might be going on for someone, and so that's how I bring spirituality to my work.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I love that and I love that you're open about that.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: So I find that people that are strong in their faith, whether spirituality or religion I work better with.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: It's just very interesting.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: It doesn't necessarily matter what it is, but they've got that strong base of values, as you talked about.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: Again, with the likability and those values, you start to really feel what works well together.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: So when we're talking about the different buying styles and understanding someone's buying styles, is there a type that finds it harder to adjust than the others with their style?
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Because you're dealing with lots of different people, You're not always dealing with your buying style right, and so we have a tendency to communicate how we'd like to be communicated to, which could turn some people off.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: So what have you found anything different or interesting when it comes to different buying styles, working with each other?
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: So you're absolutely right, kendra.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: The biggest mistake that most of us make and so listener, take note of this the biggest mistake is that we project onto the other person who we are.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: We think they are like us.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: However, rather than being seller-centric, I believe in being buyer-centric, which means I need to understand where the buyer is coming from and adjust myself to suit them.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: It's not up to them to adjust to me, it's up to me to adjust to them.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: Now, if they're not the right style, that's fine.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: Then hopefully, I have made connections with other people who do something similar and I can refer them to one of my colleagues, because I don't want to work with people who are not the right style, and for me, the right style are people that are, like yourself, a bit of the go-getter.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: They want to do something to serve others and make a difference in the world, and they tend to be intellectually savvy, they really explore their topic, their occupation, in depth, and so they have a contribution to make.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: So the next question and I think it's kind of tied into what you just asked, kendra is okay.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: So if people are making the mistake of projecting, what would we advise, or what do I advise them to do.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: And again it goes back to the style.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: So if you're that number two, go-getter quick.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: You want everything done quickly.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: That's not going to work, especially with the slower styles.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: They're going to get turned off by that for sure.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: But you want to win.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: And because you want to win now you adjust yourself, take a deep breath and meet them on their terms.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: And again, some of these may be ideal people for you because we are a combination of all four styles, not just one, and 70% of us kind of go between two or more of these styles.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: So even though they might present as a slower style, they might indeed be just right for you.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: And with that number four, who wants to give it away?
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: And they're very heart-centered, again, you want to serve others.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: You need to serve them on their terms, not yours.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: So notice how you can use the very part of someone's style to help them adjust so that they are speaking to the other people in a language that they prefer.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Does that make sense?
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: It does.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: It does.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Thank you, and one of the things that I want to go back to that you said in the first part of your answer, because I think it's so important, is you find people in your space that you can refer the people that are not the right fit to, and I think that that is so important and I think so many people overlook that.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: I remember, like gosh it's got to be like eight years ago now I was talking with somebody that I had hired as a contractor and her response was I said well, if you don't have capacity, why don't you refer them to somebody else?
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: And she I'm not going to do that.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I spent all this time building my business.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to help somebody else build theirs and I'm like but like, these people that you're not the right fit for might go ahead and refer you to somebody else later, so you don't really lose business.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: You actually, you know, go up in their esteem because you gave them what the right option was Right.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: I totally concur and that's one of the things that I help my clients look at who is your ideal prospect and who is not your ideal prospect and again, to find resources that can serve that person.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: Like you say, not only will you go up in esteem again, you may refer and they have other colleagues and friends and because you treated them so well, they say, well, you know what.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: You should talk to Kendra first, because she helped me find the right person and she may or may not be the right one for you, but she's going to help and that's a great feeling.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that there's a lot to be said about that feeling.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that there's a lot to be said about that.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: And again, I think that goes back to just being a good person to some extent, and so don't always think, oh, someone's not the right fit for me, then the answer is no, and kick them to the curb.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: There's always opportunities to keep that relationship going and to showcase really how amazing you are, especially in the process where you turn somebody down.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: I find that there's more to show how great you are in that process sometimes than it is on the process where you start working together.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Sometimes, you know.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: You remind me of something I've said.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: I've been a college teacher in the past and I would tell my students you learn more from getting it wrong than getting it right, because when you get it wrong, you are open now to actually learning.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: We got it right, maybe it was a guess, it was a good guess, but you didn't learn anything from it.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: And so when you have a prospect that isn't right for you and you take that person on, you learn pretty quickly that this was a mistake and it drains you of your energy and it really sours you on what you're doing, and you don't want to take on people like that in the future.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: Hence, it's a good idea to find colleagues who excel with those people, because, guess what, they don't excel with your ideal client, and hence you really can set up a good exchange.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I really, I really like that.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: And speaking of learning, because I think we've covered a lot of different things.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: We've talked about the four buying styles.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: We talked about the likability system, which I think you know.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Again, there's a lot to say for that, and there's a lot to say about adjusting your style so that you're communicating with people how they want to be communicated with too, because, again, that's part of marketing, right Is that?
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: But when it comes to learning and it comes to moving forward, this show is called Imperfect Marketing, because marketing is anything but a perfect science.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: And so the question I ask all of my guests is what has been your biggest marketing lesson learned?
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: what has been your biggest marketing lesson learned?
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: I'd say in a nutshell, it's don't give up.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: I have done many things, kendra, that have not worked out, and again, you know listeners think about it.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: I bet you too have a lot of experience with things that don't work.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: But is it that they don't work period or they didn't work for you?
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: They don't work period or they didn't work for you?
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: And so you know, I tried Facebook ads and I even I hired people to help me.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: At least two different people tried to help me.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: I did not get great results.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: I don't do Facebook ads, and so you know that is not an area where I excel.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: But have I given up?
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: No, I still post on Facebook.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: I do things more organically and build a community that way.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: So my suggestion, again, it's imperfect, it's not a science, it's an art.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: Don't give up.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: There's something there that will work.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: And, of course, the key is you have to try it long enough to get some data, rather than, oh, the ones that tried it once and it didn't work, no, try it, you know, for a period of time and then evaluate you know your results before you move on to another solution.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think that that's really insightful.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: And I love your example of Facebook ads, because we know Facebook ads work for a lot of different businesses.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Their target is on Facebook, that's where they're getting their business and the ads work.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: But no, it doesn't fit everybody.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: There's very few tactics that I would say work for everybody, and so you need to remain true to who you are, who your brand is and the people you want to attract.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: And, yes, you need to do everything for at least 90 days.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: That's usually my thing.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: You can.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: If it's totally tanking, you can adjust and be shorter, but for the most part, you really need 90 days trying something before you can make a determination as to whether or not it worked.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: So I loved this, I loved our conversation, nancy.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: One more thing, if I could, I want to add again.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: You know you have a great community here who follow you and obviously it's because, kendra, you have the savvy, the know-how, the experience.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: So if you're wondering about, you know my marketing and it's not working and what do I do, etc.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: You've got gold right here, you know.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: Go to Kendra and she has.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: You've got gold right here, you know, go to Kendra, and she has wisdom and experience that can guide you to find the right thing to do.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: So just wanted to add that.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: That's so sweet, and so we will have ways to connect with Nancy too, especially on LinkedIn, because I know she's very active there.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: So we'll have those links and other ways to work with her and learn more about the likeability system.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: So be sure to check out the show notes for there.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: Wherever you're listening or watching, be sure to check that out.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Thank you again so much for tuning in to another episode of Imperfect Marketing.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: If you learned something today, it would really help us out if you would rate and subscribe wherever you're listening and watching.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: Have a great rest of your day.