Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / Ashy responds….and what’s to come 💫

Transcript

Ashy responds….and what’s to come 💫 · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Appogia Production.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashley Bynes.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: This is a podcast where we learn.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Laugh, and level up together.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, find the lessons
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: to grow and glow. Nothing is off the table with
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Grow and Glow, and I'm here to be your expander.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Hello everybody, welcome back to Grow and Glow. It's Ashley,
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: your hosts, and I've also got Katie, my producer here.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: And things may feel a little bit different and a
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: little bit quiet as we no longer have Kiara. So firstly,
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: if you missed last week's episode, I please recommend for
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: you to go and listen to that. Is that as
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Kiara talking about her decision to leave the podcast.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: To be honest, I.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Really didn't want to do an episode where I even
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: spoke about this. I really wanted to keep everything behind
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: closed doors. But with everything being posted online at the moment,
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: I do feel like I need to speak up and
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: just clarify a few things. And I also want to
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: say I really do understand the curiosity and the questions
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: about the situation because I know that you guys are
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: so invested in the podcast and our friendship and We've
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: openly shared so much of our lives over the last
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: two years, and I do appreciate each and every one
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: of you so so much. So I do get it
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: be online world. It is such an incredible place to
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: grow and to learn and to share. But there's also
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: a really dark side of it that can really impact us.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: And with both of us being mothers, when our mental
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: health is affected, it not only affects ourselves but our
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: children as well. I know I can only speak on
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: behalf of myself, but my oldest is at an age
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: where he can see and feel when mummy is not okay,
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: and that's been me the last week. Sharing your life
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: online it can honestly be really really tricky when you're
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: navigating something like a friendship breakdown or a relationship breakup,
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: or maybe you're just going through something that's really uncomfortable.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: I want all of you listening to think about a
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: time where you've gone through something really, really hard and
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: how hard it is to navigate that on your own.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: And now think about how hard that'd be if you
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: had tens of thousands of people speculating, assuming, judging, criticizing,
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: and making up their own narrative.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: What's actually going on.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: So Firstly, from what's being post online, it's very obvious
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: that we have had our friendship breakdown. I wanted to
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: keep this offline to protect both of our mental health.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: I didn't feel the need to get anyone involved or
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: make it harder than what it already was. Secondly, this
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: was only a very very recent thing. Our breakdown was
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: not because Kiara wanted to leave Grow and Glow. I
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: think it was about five or six weeks ago when
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: she first came to us.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's really important to say that. Obviously
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: you never wanted to have to do this episode and
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: go into more detail, but it is because what is
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: being said isn't the truth. Yeah, Kiara came to us,
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: both you and me separately, and said that she wanted
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: to leave Grow and Glow and the reasons for it,
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: which obviously are personal to her. But there was no
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: angst whatsoever. It was so amicable. We were very accommodating.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: We worked together and let her. You know, we didn't
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: tie her down to doing any more episodes. We were
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: very flexible. It was whatever she needed. We actually did
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: give a few suggestions very early on, like how can
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: we make this easier for you. How can we make
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: this less work? Could you take a microphone home? You know,
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: there were lots of things like we really tried to
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: keep Kiara, and we really wanted to keep her. That
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: was definitely our preference. Then moving on with Grow and Glow,
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: which is something you didn't even think you were going
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: to be able to do. I remember you facetimed me
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: and you were in floods of tears.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: I was on the floor so upsets, upset.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: So upset that Kiara was leaving because you love Kiara
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: and you couldn't see a future of the podcast without Kiara.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: And it wasn't until some later conversations where we were like, well,
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: maybe you know you love Grow and Glow, you love
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: doing the podcast. Could you potentially do it by yourself
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: or do it with somebody else, And eventually came to
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: a decision, which obviously we're excited about bittersweet because our
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: preference always was to keep Kiara. It had Kiara's full
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: blessing and so yeah, I think it's really important for
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: people to know that part of it. And as you said,
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: the friendship breakdown was actually nothing to do with Kiara
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: leaving Grown Glow.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: In the first place.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: It was all very friendly and it was all very positive,
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: and I remember having a conversation with Kiara where I said,
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: the door is always.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Open for yeah percent. When she first came to me,
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: I was in full support of her decision. When one
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: of your friends comes to you and said I need
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: to create more space for myself and for my family,
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: there is nothing else to do but support them. And
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: even on that phone call, I remember like feeling myself
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: tea up. She had said I feel guilty, and I
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: was like, oh my gosh, you don't have anything to
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: feel guilty about. But it was actually in that same
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: phone call that she was on suggesting me to get
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: a new co host, because I remember saying to her
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: there is no Grow and Glow without you, and she
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: was like, you have to keep going. You know you've
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: closed down baseline. I know this is your passion. You
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: can get a new co host, whatever you want to do.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: I'm in full support. I just wanted to clarify that, like,
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: I was in full support of her decision, and she
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: was in full support of us continuing to do Grow
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: and Glow, which was beautiful.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely been some comments and stuff online around Kiara
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: being replaced or perhaps pushed out, There is no truth
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: in that.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: Gosh soever, I'd have done anything to have her stay.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: I've absolutely, like hand in my heart, loved this whole journey.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: And yeah, I was devastated, Like I rang you crying
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: so hard.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I was really really upset.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think for us as well, like it's
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: kind of been more than just doing your podcast, Like
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: it's more than just a business relationship. Like I feel
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: like there's been a real friendship. And you know, we
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: went to Eten together and you know, all got on
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: so so well. So have so much love for Kiara,
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: and yeah, once again we wanted to have to stay.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: M h. Yeah, and even after she left, like our
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: friendship was still beautiful and supportive and full of love. Later,
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: did our photoshoot for our next product, and I remember
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: after we were sitting in the car editing the videos,
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: It's pouring down rain and she started to cry and
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: I started to cry because we're just talking about the
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: memories and how much love we have for each other
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: and how awesome this journey's been and how much we're
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: actually going to miss it. And this wasn't a decision
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: that she felt like she wanted to meet, but she
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: had to make for her family, which you know, I've
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: been through a lot of health stuff this year as well.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Your health and your family are always going to be
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: the most important thing. She has made the right decision,
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: you know, and once again we're in full support of that.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And I even had a conversation with Kiara last
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: week where I said, have you made the right decision?
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Are usual?
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: And she said yeah, absolutely, and I was like, yeah, yeah,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: so yeah.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: Just to clarify, our friendship breakdown was not because Kiara
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: decided to leave. It was more so towards the end,
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: only very recently. This is why it's still so raw
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: and really hard to talk about. Was us not being
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: able to see eyed at eye with the exit of
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: the podcast.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: I think one of the important things to mention as
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: well is that this wasn't just a podcast for you.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Like one of the things.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: That you were really upset about with Kiara leaving was
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: the fact that you got to take two days every
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: month to come up to Brisbane, drive up together, chat
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: about the you know idears for the episodes, stay in
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: a hotel, go to.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Dinner, have our launches.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, which I mean in hindsight, you could have got
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: it all done in the day, But I know you
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: guys love that time, Like, yeah, I know that for
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: you was definitely one of the things that you were
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: really upset about.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Podcast aside, and we've spoken about it before, like we
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: really don't see each other outside the podcast. She lives
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: about forty minutes down south for me, and with both
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: of us running businesses and having multiple children, like, we
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: just don't get a lot of time. So that was
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: the one special time each month. It was honestly like
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: the highlight of my month. Yeah, I loved it so much.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: So at the end of the day, this podcast is
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: called Grow and Glow. This isn't even the episode I
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: wanted to do, but this this podcast is about growing
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: through your hard times, are sharing our lessons and glowing
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: out the other side. I want this podcast to be
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: one that you come to to always feel empowered to
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: live a more authentic life and to raise your baseline
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: and to level up and to meet yourself where you
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: are at right now and honor what you need in
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: every single season. So that's what I want to focus
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: on now and moving forward. Something else that I wanted
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: to quickly share a little bit about is what true
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: self care and self love is about. Because I think
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: it's thrown around on social media that it's like you're
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: going to get a pedicure or you chuck a face
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: mask on, But it's actually so much more than that,
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: And for me, I want to talk about that today
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: and end this on a beautiful note and reminder of
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: what that looks like. For me, self care and true
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: self love is taking care of what's actually on the inside,
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: and that's through nourishing our bodies with healthy food, saying
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: hydra to getting our sleep, giving our stress.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Love was low.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: It's about being in nature. It's about finding things and
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: people that bring you a lot of joy in life.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: The one thing that people don't talk about is actually forgiveness.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: When you can forgive yourself and others for things people
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: have said or done, you open up your heart just
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: so much more love and emotional peace, And if you don't,
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: it's toxic inside and it's not the vibration energetically that
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: any of us want to be sitting on. So, if
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: there's anyone in your life or anything you're going through,
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: if you can try and find it in your heart
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: to have a deeper sense of like compassion for where
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: you're at yourself and where other people are at. The
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: only thing in life we are guaranteed is change, So
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: the only thing that we know is going to happen.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: And this is the hardest part of life is relationship breakdowns,
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: whether that's intimate, family or friendship. And we will go
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: through it, like every single person goes through this, and
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: it's grieving. I've got a girlfriend at the moment going
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: through a bad breakup and said, it's almost like grieving
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: a death because that person's still there, but you don't
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: have access to them anymore. A person you've told everything too,
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: and you've gone to and they've held space for you
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: and you've done vice versa, and all of a sudden gone.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: It is a form of grief and it's so heavy
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: on the heart. You wake up, I know myself, and
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, is that a nightmare? Shit, No, that's
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: actually happening, And you get this sick feeling in your
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: stomach and it's quite consuming. Like even over the weekend,
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: my kids were sick and it was just a slow
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: weekend anyway, but it's just all I could think about.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: My heart is just hurting so yeah, not an episode
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: I wanted to do, but I did feel like it
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: was It's necessary. I have so much gratitude I journey
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: the podcast our memories and I will always hold that
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: in my heart.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and as I said before, the door is always
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: always open.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: What can you tell us about the new podcast.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: We have a whole new name, we have a whole
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: new look, we'll have new outfits, new forms which are
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: very different to this one, and we have a beautiful
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: new co host. I honestly thought I might come on
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: and do it by myself, but when Kiara said that
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: I can get someone else, there was only two people
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: in mind, and one of them is the same person
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: that I was thinking when I first wanted to do
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: a podcast, it was Megsie, and back then she didn't
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: have the capacity to do it, and obviously I went
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: with Kiara, and this time it was between two people
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: as well, Megsi being one of them, and once again
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: she doesn't have the capacity for it. And there was
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: only one other person that really stood out for me.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: And it's not like I had a list of one
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: hundred people to choose from. A podcast is something very
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: intimate and special. It's not something you would just get
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: anyone and everyone on to do with. So it wasn't
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: a hard decision in that sense.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: And I remember you saying when we were like you
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: could have Lily did the podcast on your own, and
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: you were like, it's gonna be really boring, be fun
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: me coming in and laughing by myself. Yeah, And what
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: can people expect from the episodes?
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Will it be similar content?
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: Yes, in the sense that we still want you to
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: feel very comfortable, like it's you know, two best girlfriends
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: sitting on the couch sharing. This person has a lot
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: of depth, Like I have grown so much since she's
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: become my friend. I've healed things that I've been wanting
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: to heal my whole life just via conversations with her.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: So I feel like you're going to literally learn and
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: grow so much just from having her in your ears.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: But she's also very playful, fun, She's like spicy and
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: central as well. She's a very multifaceted woman. Like it's
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: not like a one size kind of fits all. So
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: you have a lot of fun, you'll learn a lot,
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: you'll grow a lot, you might be shocked a lot.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: She's got a lot of really cool, crazy stories to
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: share as to who she is and why she is
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: the way she is. But yeah, I'm very excited to
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: announce her. I'm very excited to have more conversations with her,
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: and I think you're all going to fall.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: In love with there.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it's really exciting. It's been such a bittersweet process.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Like I always say, two emotions can coexist. I feel
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: like I'm grieving what was in this friendship and you
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: know what, I've really enjoyed every moment, and I'm also
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: really excited for what's to come.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm like experiencing both at the moment.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: But I just think each and every day we have
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: the choice where we direct our energy and focus, and
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: I'm choosing to direct it into what's to come and
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: get excited and stay in gratitude. And also just a
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: massive shout out to all of you, like, thank you
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: so much. We obviously hit over a million downloads in
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: a space of not even two years. It really means
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: the world to ask at you tune in each week
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: and support us, and you know the dms. I still
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: get on the daily of just how one thing we've said,
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: one thing my mom said, or one thing ki Areas
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: that once said you know something that we've discussed has
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: truly helped transform or impact your life in a positive way.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: It's really special to be a part of your journey,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: even if it's small.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: And if anyone has any questions as well, like head
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: to the Facebook forum and your thoughts. We did have
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: a lot of people in there. I had a look
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: through there as well at what people were asking and
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: I hope today that we have answered some of those questions.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: Hopefully it's given a bit more clarity and also just
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: understanding and reminded know that we're two humans, and humans
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: are messy. Life is messy, and these things happen, but
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: you always have a choice to choose kindness. So I
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: would do us that you do that for both of us.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: All right, guys, well, we will be back in your
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: ears next week. Yees see them Bye.