Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / Why You Keep Attracting What You’re Trying To Avoid: Breaking Repeating Patterns & Cycles

Transcript

Why You Keep Attracting What You’re Trying To Avoid: Breaking Repeating Patterns & Cycles · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Live Well Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Liv, a naturopathic doctor, mentor, energy healer, a casha breeder, intuitive, energetic business mentor, and honestly, so much more.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I help you heal on a physical and emotional level so that you can feel delicious in your health, body, relationships, career, and a bank account.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: This show is for those of you who are looking to go beyond the basic wellness stuff, cut out their BS, and really create a life you love.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about health, trauma healing, energetics, feminine energy, wealth, and magnetism so that you can live a life that feels delicious.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: In these episodes, we will have an honest conversation without the fluffy bullshit.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: You walk away with all of the insights, tools, and tips to truly live your best life, mind, body, and soul.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you are looking to live well, you are in the right place.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: For ways to work with me, visit keepupwithlive.com and follow me on Instagram at keep up with live for more.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, let's get into the show.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back to the podcast.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm excited to do another little mini sewed episode for you.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: They're just straight, they're to the point, they're juicy, they're gonna be helpful if you choose to implement them.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So let's go ahead and dive in.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: So we are gonna be talking about why you keep attracting what you're trying to avoid and really breaking out of those repeating patterns and cycles that we can get ourselves caught up into.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: So anything that you try to run away from, you keep running into.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: If we think about it like a as a phrase, as a quote, if you will, it keeps following you because the more you try to avoid it, the more you bring it to you.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: If we think about it like a pink elephant, if your mind is thinking, don't think of a pink elephant, don't think of a pink elephant, don't think of a pink elephant, all you do is think of a pink elephant.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because the more we seek the opposite in an effort to get away from it, the more it is there.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so, in order to break this cycle, we need to have a very neutral, regulated nervous system.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: When you remove the big bad wolf and anchor in safety, your nervous system becomes unwavering.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: So imagine you have a magnet and you have a positive pull and you have a negative pull, and you try to split it in half, and you only want the positive pull.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: So you're like, all right, I'm gonna split it in half.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna take the positive part only and the negative pull, whatever we're avoiding, we're gonna leave it.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: But what happens when you split a magnet in half?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: You just get two smaller magnets.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: You literally cannot break a magnet and just give me a positive pull.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think I I don't think you know, even Elon Musk cannot do that, right?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: There's naturally there's always going to be a negative one.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: So every time we're trying to like just seek the positive pull, seek the positive pull, and we resist that negative one, right?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: We try to avoid it, it doesn't work.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's physically impossible.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: But that's what happens when we try to get away from the pink elephant instead of actually healing and neutralizing it.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing is, is that when you heal and neutralize it, you're able to access what is called systems two thinking in the brain.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it's essentially a higher level thinking.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: But we can only access this if we aren't in the loop of survival mode where our limbic system prioritizes our survival.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: You may have felt like before when you are either in survival mode, when you're in that roller coaster, that you can't access solutions.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can't see a way out.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's because you're trapped in what is called systems one thinking or lower brain thinking.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: When we're trapped in this, and the thing is, sometimes we're trapped in survival mode day in and day out, right?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: We're actually not able to access that higher level of information that is going to allow us to thrive, that's going to give us insights for our business and our money and our relationships and everything like that.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so you get trapped in that lower level brain thinking, and that response keeps repeating and repeating and repeating.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: So we respond in the old ways.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: So we stay stuck, we stay in those repeating patterns, and we can't take in new experiences as new information, which means we can't learn, we can't adopt, and we can't grow.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so our 24-7 alarm center starts to constantly scan the environment to look for threat or to look for danger, even in our sleep.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what happens where we get stuck in that chronic survival mode where we're constantly looking for danger and everything is potentially dangerous.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: That amygdala really generates that like fight or flight response.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, why is this important?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because the amygdala assesses every experience we have for safety or for danger, for pleasure or for pain.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it pairs each of that, each of our experiences with an emotional charge, with an emotional balance.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's either positive or negative.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I am just jumping on this episode to let you guys know that safety is now open.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is the brand new program to really anchor in a deep level of safety into your nervous system and to break out of survival mode.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: We are gonna be breaking out of the wounding, the trauma, the conditioning that gives your body the illusion of safety, as well as wiring your nervous system for that survival mode by releasing all of that trapped energy and trauma.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: We're also gonna be expanding your nervous system to make it more resilient so that it can hold more.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna be resolving physical symptoms like metabolism, skin, anxiety, gut, all that are linked to the lack of safety, as well as really anchoring that safety into your body so that your nervous system has a default for calm and chill.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Not to mention you're no longer gonna be triggered because your nervous system feels safe.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you're not only breaking out of survival mode, but you're building a nervous system that actually feels safe to expand because you've released the fears and lack of trust that keeps your system always looking for danger.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: We have four live calls a whole month together where you can also plug in in-between calls for personal support.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: This will be responded to daily.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: There are also gonna be added trainings, there's added videos.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is really about knowing exactly what your body actually needs to bring you out of survival mode and into thrival mode, along with the practical integration.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: So you actually know how to do this in a way that feels safe and solid.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to be cracked open, if you're ready to release all of that stuff, if you're ready to go all in for your healing and you know that you are meant for more, join us inside safety.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you are familiar with Wellnourished, Safety is the foundational program.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: We are breaking apart Well Nourished into separate programs so that not only is it more accessible to everyone, but you can start healing now.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: You may not even need all the programs, but safety is the foundational one.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: So chances are you need this one at least.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna leave all the information down in the description box, but I cannot wait.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: This is truly going to change the game when it comes to anchoring safety into your nervous system.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I cannot wait to see you inside.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And what happens is then your brain tries to make you avoid similar experiences in the future.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, we want to avoid quote unquote painful experiences.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: And the more intense the emotional charge, the more neurons that will fire in the brain.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: So our amygdala assigns whether we experience something as pleasure or painful, positive or negative, attractive or repulsive.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: And when we assign something as positive, amygdala is like happy.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: We activate the parasympathetic nervous system, their breasts and digest, and this is a very calming effect.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: When it assigns something as negative, painful, repulsive, you know, this activates your sympathetic response, your fight or flight.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it like when you're looking at a puppy versus looking at a, I don't know, I don't find lions scary.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Let's pick something scary.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, dragon, I don't find dragon scary.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: But potentially maybe you think a spider.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, spider is scary.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: You would look at a puppy and be like, ooh, amygdala says this is positive.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: We're good, we can calm down.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, we see a dragon, ooh, amygdala says the negative, fight or flight.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is you get stuck in repeating patterns when you're constantly scanning of like, where's the dragon?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Where's the dragon?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Is the dragon there?
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: All your brain is hearing is drag and dragon, drag and drag in.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is where the problem occurs.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: When your amygdala perceives the negative or painful or repulsive, it activates that sympathetic response.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so if we think about how often we do that, right?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: When we go on Instagram, whether we get into comparison, whether we look at our bank account, whether we go to the grocery store and we don't like the prizes, whether we look in the mirror and we don't like what we see, whether we look at our partner and maybe we don't like what we see, who knows?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you or lack thereof and we don't like what we see.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then of course we have physical symptoms that come from being in fight or flight, which can be like gut, hormones, weight, skin, tosspation, like uh, you name it, right?
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's there.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thyroid.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was just speaking with a one-on-one about thyroid today.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, what this does is it contributes to autonomic dysregulation.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: You are out of balance because of these negative perceptions, which also affects how resilient and how safe your nervous system is.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: And if you really are curious, you can see how safe your nervous system is by looking at your HRB, which is your heart rate variability.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I did a whole podcast episode on this, so you can definitely go back and listen to that one.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's a couple back.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: But it's a measure essentially of how good your nervous system is doing.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you have an aura ring, um, you can see it.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: I can see mine, my aura ring.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: I believe also Fitbit tracks it.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's also something in the US called Whoop or Levels, I'm not sure which.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have it here, but one of those things also tracks it.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of my favorite measures because like you can literally see, you know, how dysregulated you are.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you obviously, oh, I'll say that you do want it above a hundred.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I will say that um in case you aren't experienced with HRV, a good HRV is anything over a hundred.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so if it's like is it 20s, 30s, 40s, like it, you know, that's really low, then you have mid and then ideal or like a good nervous system would be at 100 or or over.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: So when we have those symptoms, right, that we then experience in our body, you have to think of it as feedback because your physical body is constantly sending you feedback, and your physical symptoms are a feedback of your nervous system.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Your symptoms are simply a feedback mechanism of your body letting you know where you have stored energy in your nervous system and is trying to bring you back to a regulated state.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: And your body keeps responding to this until you release that trapped energy.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, this is why you get physical symptoms.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Our poor brains, bodies, and nervous system are honestly trying to finish the survival mode response.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: It is a feedback signal, it's telling you exactly what it needs to release so that your nervous system can enter a calm state.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: We just may not know the translation of it.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: You may not have like a translator that says, oh, you know, a headache means this.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: You're just we're never trained in it.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, you know, your car starts being smoke.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Unless you're a mechanic, you may not know why your car is giving off smoke.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Same thing.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: We're just not taught.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so having someone who can like give you kind of feedback as to what like it means and what your nervous system is telling you is then gonna be super beneficial to what you need to release.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: So the reason you keep attracting what you're trying to avoid is because you are in such resistance to trying to avoid it.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: It has become the elephant in the room that you're trying to avoid instead of neutralizing it and normalizing and allowing it to be an option.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's gonna allow you to break the repeating cycle and pattern.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Also, with listening to the feedback.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: So oftentimes we get feedback from our bodies, from our systems, and we don't actually listen to it.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so we keep doing the same thing and the same thing and the same thing instead of actually releasing the emotion stored in the nervous system that the nervous system is actually trying to complete on its own, right?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: The only reason you're stuck in survival mode is your body's actually trying to get you out.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: It just needs help to complete the cycle.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it like a circle.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: When it completes the cycle, it stops being in survival mode and it can release and relax.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: So that is your little mini episode on why you keep attracting what you avoid and really how to break out of the repeating pattern and cycle.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: It was short, it was juicy to the point, but if you implement this, uh, it will change everything in your life.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: So, with that being said, I love you guys so much, and I will speak to you in the next episode.