Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.117 | Becoming More Resilient: Breathwork, Cold Plunges & the Simple Tools that Actually Build Capacity with Josh Hildebrand, Coach + Founder of Breath & Exposure

Transcript

Ep.117 | Becoming More Resilient: Breathwork, Cold Plunges & the Simple Tools that Actually Build Capacity with Josh Hildebrand, Coach + Founder of Breath & Exposure · Curiously Guided Podcast

• 0:07
  Mariah: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 0:10
  Mariah: We're your hosts, Mariah.
• 0:12
  Shay: And hey guys, I'm Shay.
• 0:14
  Shay: We're two online business consultants passionate about rewriting the rules to success within both life and business.
• 0:20
  Shay: We believe that curiosity is our superpower.
• 0:24
  Shay: And trusting the nudge is a muscle that's meant to be strengthened.
• 0:28
  Mariah: Especially if we want to create a life that feels good from the inside out.
• 0:33
  Shay: So if you're ready to open your mind and let curiosity guide the way, let's get into the episode.
• 0:40
  Shay: All right.
• 0:41
  Shay: I am so excited to share this episode with you guys.
• 0:45
  Shay: Um, Josh is a good friend of mine.
• 0:47
  Shay: He is someone who is constantly sparking my creativity.
• 0:50
  Shay: I have learned a lot from him.
• 0:52
  Shay: And, you know, one topic that keeps coming up over and over and over again as we've done this podcast is this idea of nervous system regulation.
• 1:02
  Shay: You know, how do we keep ourselves going amongst all of the trials and tribulations that come up as small business owners and as human beings?
• 1:11
  Shay: And we have, I think, approached the topic from a lot of different lenses.
• 1:16
  Shay: And on a good like part one to this episode is the interview that we just released with Kim a couple of weeks ago.
• 1:22
  Shay: So definitely check that out after this.
• 1:24
  Shay: Um, in that episode, I kind of realized there's almost a difference between this idea of being well-regulated, like I have a well-regulated nervous system versus I need to regulate my nervous system.
• 1:39
  Shay: It's two different things.
• 1:40
  Shay: And Kim really speaks more about when I think of well-regulated, I think of this more like longer-term vision, you know, like I am a human that can respond appropriately when things pop up in my life.
• 1:53
  Shay: And when those events pop up, I know how to get myself back into my zone of tolerance or that kind of neutral place.
• 2:00
  Shay: And as Kim brought up, you can't really hack your way into a well-regulated nervous system.
• 2:06
  Shay: You know, it really is like a longer-term game.
• 2:08
  Shay: I think it takes a lot of deep work of who do I want to be in this world and where is my life out of alignment and what changes need to be made.
• 2:16
  Shay: And I think all of that is true, but that that's really the long game.
• 2:20
  Shay: And when you're talking with someone or when you're in a moment of like, oh my gosh, I'm about to freak out on my husband.
• 2:25
  Shay: You need something more in the short term, something that's more immediate.
• 2:29
  Shay: So that's where these tools to regulate come in.
• 2:32
  Shay: You know, what can we do to support ourselves?
• 2:35
  Shay: Yes, we should be doing the work.
• 2:36
  Shay: Yes, we should be thinking the bigger picture and supporting ourselves on a really deep level, but also shit pops up.
• 2:42
  Shay: You know, to be honest with you guys, the night before we recorded this episode, I was in the emergency room with my husband.
• 2:48
  Shay: He has a progressive illness.
• 2:49
  Shay: We are dealing with kind of minor traumas and disruptances all the time.
• 2:54
  Shay: You know, I have a lot of friends who have our mothers to young children.
• 2:58
  Shay: As Josh will share when he hops on, he got off a crazy shift as a firefighter where he is seeing just the craziest stuff on a day-to-day basis.
• 3:06
  Shay: And it's like, okay, yeah, we need some tools.
• 3:09
  Shay: Like, life is gonna be life.
• 3:11
  Shay: And what are the tools that we have available to us in the moment to kind of calm ourselves down?
• 3:17
  Shay: And in my mind, Josh is a well-regulated human being, but he is also the master of tools.
• 3:23
  Shay: Like he he has used these tools, he lives by these tools, he has studied them, he is learning about them.
• 3:28
  Shay: So we recorded this episode to kind of give you guys some more shorter-term tools.
• 3:33
  Shay: You know, what are the free or low-cost things that we all have access to that we can do to really kind of calm ourselves down and regulate that nervous system?
• 3:42
  Shay: And I did want to make one point, you know, I had this idea that a well-regulated nervous system means that I have to be calm all the time.
• 3:52
  Shay: I'm like this Buddhist monk that sits in a cave and never has any reaction.
• 3:57
  Shay: But I as I'm talking with these folks that are learning about this and teaching about this, I don't think that's really the case.
• 4:02
  Shay: You know, we're humans, we're gonna have disrupting events, we're gonna have things that um try to compromise our ethics.
• 4:09
  Shay: And in some moments, it is appropriate to get angry.
• 4:12
  Shay: And in some moments, it's appropriate to have reactions.
• 4:15
  Shay: But I think the bigger lesson is here how familiar are you with yourself?
• 4:22
  Shay: And when you have those moments, is there a space between the stimulus and the reaction?
• 4:27
  Shay: Can you take a breath?
• 4:28
  Shay: Do you have the capacity to respond appropriately?
• 4:31
  Shay: And if you do get worked up, are you able to bring yourself back down, back into that window of tolerance?
• 4:36
  Shay: So I have really learned a lot from these conversations about nervous system regulation and um this idea that Josh brings up in this episode about CO2 tolerance.
• 4:47
  Shay: If you guys haven't gone down that rabbit hole yet, I cannot recommend it enough.
• 4:50
  Shay: You would not believe our CO2 tolerance affects literally every single level of our health from our digestion to our sexual health to our mental health to literally like pain in your joints.
• 5:03
  Shay: It's literally everything.
• 5:05
  Shay: And it's something free that you can train and work on and build.
• 5:10
  Shay: And the effects of focusing on your CO2 tolerance are just like astounding.
• 5:15
  Shay: So if you're curious about this, like we are, I think you're really gonna enjoy this episode and the tools that Josh shares.
• 5:21
  Shay: And I'm excited to share it with you guys.
• 5:23
  Mariah: Guys, Shay said that she had an idea of how to kickstart this episode, and the bitch just gave us like a solo, a solo podcast intro for this thing.
• 5:34
  Mariah: I have nothing else to add.
• 5:36
  Mariah: That's incredible.
• 5:36
  Mariah: Okay, so let's learn about Josh.
• 5:38
  Mariah: Josh is the founder of Breath and Exposure, a Marine Corps combat veteran and a St.
• 5:44
  Mariah: Louis City firefighter.
• 5:46
  Mariah: After years of struggling with PTSD, depression, and sleep issues, Josh discovered the transformative effects of cold exposure and breath work.
• 5:54
  Mariah: Inspired by his own healing journey, he earned multiple coaching certifications and founded breath and exposure to help others improve their mental and physical well-being through mindfulness, breath work, and cold therapy.
• 6:06
  Mariah: Josh lives in St.
• 6:07
  Mariah: Louis with his family and credits these practices with making him a better husband, father, firefighter, coach, and I would add, just a fucking cool human.
• 6:17
  Mariah: Okay, so let's kick it into the episode.
• 6:20
  Shay: All right, friends, welcome back.
• 6:22
  Shay: I am so excited to share our guests with you today.
• 6:26
  Shay: I have had him on my wish list of podcast guests for as long as I've known him.
• 6:32
  Shay: You guys know my friend Samantha.
• 6:34
  Shay: She's been on the podcast a couple of times.
• 6:36
  Shay: Samantha met Josh through his business, which is called Breath and Exposure.
• 6:42
  Shay: And through them uh getting to know each other, I was fortunate enough to meet Josh.
• 6:47
  Shay: And Josh has kind of broadened my mind and exposed me to a world that I literally never thought I would be involved in.
• 6:54
  Shay: Like I am the person that is not the cold person.
• 6:57
  Shay: I am not my previous identity was I am not a girl that does cold plunges.
• 7:02
  Shay: And now, here today, I am a girl who does cold plunges and a whole lot more because of Josh.
• 7:06
  Shay: And so he has helped me really expand what I thought I am capable of.
• 7:11
  Shay: And one thing that we talk about a lot on this podcast is running your own business or chasing your passions is a lifelong self-development journey.
• 7:21
  Shay: And the question that we keep coming back to with everybody is okay, how do we sustain ourselves for this journey?
• 7:26
  Shay: How do we continue to show up every day in our best energy so we can be this positive effect in the world?
• 7:32
  Shay: And so I think the medicine that Josh has is what a lot of our people need.
• 7:38
  Shay: So I am so excited to have him here today to share the story.
• 7:41
  Shay: And Josh, before we dive in, I would love for you to repeat what you just said before we left uh hopped on here.
• 7:48
  Shay: What was your last 12 hours like?
• 7:51
  Shay: Like what are you coming from up until this point today?
• 7:55
  Josh: Yeah.
• 7:55
  Josh: So I'm uh I'm a career firefighter also.
• 7:58
  Josh: Um, so we had four or five calls after midnight, um, up all night, got home, did the dad thing, showered, went to the gym, ate a healthy meal, and then came straight here.
• 8:09
  Josh: So uh that's what got me into teaching breath work was that kind of lifestyle, being able to have the skills to still be able to do stuff like this.
• 8:17
  Shay: And you guys, Josh is sitting here next to me, like chill and calm and cool and collected.
• 8:22
  Shay: I, when he said that, like I cannot, I can't even fathom not having my full eight hours and then coming to do this.
• 8:28
  Shay: You guys wouldn't believe the prep I did for this podcast.
• 8:31
  Shay: So that kind of like resiliency and ability to bounce back and bounce from stressful situation to different situations, I think is one of the most powerful skills we can have in this life.
• 8:42
  Shay: And so I am curious, do you mind taking us back to the point in your life where you found these tools?
• 8:52
  Shay: What was going on for you?
• 8:54
  Shay: What kind of initially sparked your curiosity around the cold and the heat and this kind of resilience work?
• 9:01
  Josh: Sure.
• 9:01
  Josh: Um, so I've been a career fireman for 18 years.
• 9:04
  Josh: Before that, I was in the Marine Corps.
• 9:06
  Josh: So I did two combat tours of Iraq, went right from being a Marine in Iraq into being a St.
• 9:12
  Josh: Louis City fireman.
• 9:13
  Josh: Um and just busy, you know, having a family, three kids, and work and combat, and then running traumatic calls every day for the majority of my life to stir the ad up.
• 9:26
  Josh: And I didn't realize it because all I knew was myself at that time, but I was being very closed off to people.
• 9:33
  Josh: I was like containering things and not processing them.
• 9:37
  Josh: Um and that looked like um arthritis ceiling.
• 9:41
  Josh: Like my hands were tight, my shoulders were tight, I was getting headaches, the only way I could sleep is if I would drink.
• 9:47
  Josh: Um and that went on for a while, and then it was uh an untenable situation.
• 9:53
  Josh: Um so I got recovery, stopped drinking, started going through a bunch of retreats um to process my PTSD.
• 10:00
  Josh: And in that journey, I found books like Um The Power of Me.
• 10:04
  Josh: And that was the first book that I remember being like, I would have never read this a year ago, but it was just a point where I was just ready for change, and that book kind of started me on a path.
• 10:18
  Josh: So um, then I read Russell Brand's book on recovery, and he talked about transcendental meditation.
• 10:25
  Josh: So I enrolled in transcendental meditation and uh started my meditation journey, and that was super impactful.
• 10:32
  Josh: And on my meditation journey, I found coal exposure in Austin, Texas, and 2017, I guess.
• 10:41
  Josh: So I did it there, and my wife's like, What are you doing?
• 10:43
  Josh: You're just gonna go do this, and like, yeah, I've been reading about it, like no one's doing it in St.
• 10:47
  Josh: Louis.
• 10:48
  Josh: So I tried it in Austin and immediate was hooked.
• 10:51
  Shay: So you traveled to Austin to try cold.
• 10:55
  Josh: No, at that point we had friends living there.
• 10:57
  Josh: Okay.
• 10:57
  Shay: So we're so you just kind of heard about it.
• 10:59
  Josh: Yeah, we are I had heard about it.
• 11:01
  Josh: It was not as popular now, but like I knew of it.
• 11:04
  Josh: I wanted to do it, but didn't have the instruction.
• 11:06
  Josh: I wasn't in a place where I'll I'll just do this on my own.
• 11:09
  Josh: I'm kind of a person who like wants to be around the best and be coached by people, not just wing it on my own.
• 11:16
  Josh: Um so did it once immediately.
• 11:21
  Josh: That was the first time besides meditation and deep therapy work and EMDR, where I felt like I was in my body.
• 11:28
  Shay: Wow.
• 11:28
  Josh: Like I felt present, I felt aware, but not in like a at all aware, like I was just comfortable being.
• 11:36
  Josh: And I thought, oh man, I gotta figure this out.
• 11:39
  Josh: So I did a deep dive, got all my training, and then started going down to Austin for my training.
• 11:44
  Josh: Um, so I trained with the same folks?
• 11:46
  Josh: Uh similar.
• 11:48
  Josh: They were an XPT affiliate.
• 11:49
  Josh: Um, so I got my XPT cert and trained with Larry Hamilton and Gabby Reese and became an XPT affiliate and did all that training during COVID.
• 12:00
  Josh: So everything was shut down.
• 12:01
  Josh: I was flying down to Austin and training with the best so that I could develop my skill set and reps to start teaching.
• 12:09
  Josh: Um and then, you know, I was a Marine and I was like, oh, am I really gonna be a breath coach?
• 12:14
  Josh: You know, people look at me, they don't they think meeted, military stereotype.
• 12:20
  Josh: So I was really in my head about it.
• 12:22
  Josh: And then I realized I had the means to put us on in the house.
• 12:26
  Josh: But I thought, why would I hoard this knowledge for something that was so impactful for myself?
• 12:31
  Josh: And that's when I decided to launch spread some exposure and expose other people to it and get back and be of service and um start it at our CrossFit gym.
• 12:41
  Mariah: Can I oh go ahead, yeah?
• 12:42
  Mariah: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:43
  Mariah: Can can we go back a little bit?
• 12:45
  Mariah: Because that's like a huge fucking identity shift, right?
• 12:48
  Mariah: Like you're going from like, I wouldn't have read this book, The Power of Now, a year ago.
• 12:54
  Mariah: And it was like there's typically this shift, or like, I don't, like a lot of people call it like an awakening or like a perspective shift, but it's like there's something that happens between like where you were and where you are, because it seems like something clicked, and then it's like now you're opened up to all of these things that were not even in like your field of like awareness before.
• 13:20
  Mariah: And it's like, do you remember if you can maybe take us back?
• 13:24
  Mariah: Like, how that usually doesn't happen overnight.
• 13:28
  Mariah: Do you know what I mean?
• 13:29
  Mariah: It's kind of one of those things where it's just like, did you just start Googling things?
• 13:33
  Mariah: Were you just like, oh my god, my arthritis is so fucking bad?
• 13:36
  Mariah: Like, is it and I don't I don't want to go too deep into like, you know, how awful you were fucking feeling, but it's really just like, was it like these panic attacks?
• 13:43
  Mariah: And then you were just like, I need to figure out some way out of it.
• 13:46
  Mariah: Was it like you heard God in the shower?
• 13:49
  Mariah: Like, how how did we get from like really closed on these things to realizing that this was even possible or like that these options were even there?
• 14:00
  Josh: Yeah, good question.
• 14:01
  Josh: Um so really the impetus was I was living out of my house at the time.
• 14:08
  Josh: And so I was separated from my wife.
• 14:10
  Josh: It looked like we were gonna need to get a divorce.
• 14:13
  Josh: Um, and it makes me emotional, like thinking about that that version of me, to be honest.
• 14:19
  Josh: Um, what was that?
• 14:23
  Josh: I was just at a level where I was like, this is untenable.
• 14:27
  Josh: Yeah, um, and I just remember thinking, it would be better if I wasn't here.
• 14:33
  Josh: Um and then doing all of the work in rooms and with other veterans.
• 14:39
  Josh: The one that really speaks to me when you ask it, is we were in a room and they were doing this work, and this instructor really like pinged on me, and she's like, You're just angry.
• 14:53
  Josh: Like, you're just sitting here and you're scaring everyone in this room.
• 14:57
  Josh: And I never thought of myself like being angry, and I was like, God, do I scare people?
• 15:03
  Josh: Like, I know how I look, but is my energy scary?
• 15:07
  Josh: And it was like I realized I was doing that, I was pushing people away because of all the things I was carrying, and that helped me do really hard jobs for a long time.
• 15:17
  Josh: Yeah, and then I realized like there's gotta be a better way.
• 15:21
  Josh: And so finding these things, my main worry was am I gonna lose my edge?
• 15:26
  Josh: Like, am I gonna be able to still perform at a high level when people need me?
• 15:31
  Josh: And my team instructor was like, oh no, you're gonna be a sharper sword because now you're gonna be able to process these things, but you're gonna be the most present person when it really matters.
• 15:43
  Josh: And that's when I just was like, okay, if that's what he says is gonna work, and I'll be better at this job that I care so much about.
• 15:50
  Josh: And then I just took all my discipline and just focused it all on that.
• 15:54
  Josh: So it may seem like it was overnight, but I spent three years of deep work, like reading every book, meditating, going to every treatment facility, EMDR.
• 16:06
  Josh: I mean, I when I tell people what I did, they're like, oh my God.
• 16:10
  Josh: But I was just, I'm that kind of person that I threw everything at it.
• 16:14
  Josh: I was trying to unfuck myself and trying to get my family back.
• 16:19
  Josh: And so, I mean, it was a lot of work.
• 16:22
  Josh: Um, but yeah, now that you say it, yeah, it was a complete identity shift that I I had to get over myself to do.
• 16:29
  Mariah: Well, yeah, that's kind of like where I was like, wait a minute.
• 16:32
  Mariah: So you were like this person before, and then it was like something they say, like we don't change to that depth unless we suffer enough in order to create that change.
• 16:45
  Mariah: And it's like, well, I didn't want to go deep into your suffering and all of that, but it's just like, what was that turning point?
• 16:50
  Mariah: Because I feel like we all kind of have that.
• 16:52
  Mariah: I feel like for me, it wasn't something as extreme, but it was almost similar to where it was like, I was hearing how people were perceiving me, like, and hearing like their perspective of me.
• 17:05
  Mariah: And that's not how I felt on the inside.
• 17:08
  Mariah: And I was like, why am I giving off like this off-putting?
• 17:12
  Mariah: Like, it didn't feel like the outside perspective matched the inside perspective.
• 17:16
  Mariah: And I was like, wait a minute, there's a disconnect here, and like that's really jarring.
• 17:22
  Mariah: If and then some people get very defensive about it, right?
• 17:26
  Mariah: Like, especially if you're in like a close relationship, maybe not even a romantic one, it could be a friendship, it could be a business friendship, like whatever.
• 17:33
  Mariah: And it's just like, hey, you're really coming off like this.
• 17:35
  Mariah: And it's like, I grew up in a family where it was like, cool, and then we get defensive, and then we just like verbally fight each other.
• 17:40
  Mariah: You know what I mean?
• 17:41
  Mariah: I'm like, no, you're an asshole.
• 17:42
  Mariah: It's like, no, you're an asshole.
• 17:43
  Mariah: And it's like, well, that's not helpful because I don't want to end up being like any of you.
• 17:48
  Mariah: Do you know what I mean?
• 17:50
  Mariah: And so it really required, I think, the awareness of like, can I change?
• 17:56
  Mariah: Like, I don't know if that's um resonant to you, but like my entire life, I grew up with kind of like a fixed mindset of like, if you're smart, then you're smart.
• 18:06
  Mariah: If you're this, then you're this.
• 18:07
  Mariah: If you're good at math, then you're good at math.
• 18:09
  Mariah: And then it wasn't really anything about personal development.
• 18:12
  Mariah: It was just like, hey, if you're, I don't know, if you're a bitch, then you're a bitch.
• 18:15
  Mariah: Like that's just like how you are.
• 18:17
  Mariah: And there wasn't really any questioning or examples of people changing who they were on the inside and becoming a more grounded, aware, intuitive, powerful, like you were saying, like laser-focused version of themselves.
• 18:32
  Mariah: And so it's like, especially when you're the first one in your in your group, in your family, and your existence to be able to do that.
• 18:41
  Mariah: It takes a lot in order to like shift and be able to get curious enough to walk into that because I've had similar feelings too of like, yo, am I gonna be lame and not funny anymore?
• 18:50
  Mariah: Like, am I gonna be like not cool anymore if I do like this healing?
• 18:56
  Mariah: And like that was important to me.
• 18:57
  Mariah: I enjoy being funny, I enjoy being giggly and like fiery and sassy.
• 19:01
  Mariah: And so I think that it's cool to be able to share like that perspective of coming from that deep suffering, and then you're noticing like you're not losing your edge, you're actually getting sharper.
• 19:12
  Mariah: And like, what a gift.
• 19:14
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• 19:29
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• 20:18
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• 20:32
  Shay: Um, that was my, Ryan, have you read that?
• 20:34
  Shay: I can't remember.
• 20:35
  Shay: Oh, girl, have I read it?
• 20:37
  Shay: I thought so.
• 20:38
  Shay: So that was definitely my first transition point as well.
• 20:41
  Shay: I read that in my first job out of college.
• 20:44
  Shay: I had to read it like so slowly, like I would read like a sentence five times in a row.
• 20:50
  Shay: Like I couldn't take it in.
• 20:52
  Shay: And I knew that I was like, this is this is it.
• 20:55
  Shay: And then I kept rereading the book, and then I would listen to it and like a little bit at a time would kind of like unfold.
• 21:01
  Shay: But it's interesting that you're saying that was kind of the doorway for you because it was for me and it was for Samantha as well.
• 21:07
  Shay: And we're all coming from, and I know it was a big part of Mariah's journey, such different perspectives.
• 21:12
  Shay: And so before we dive too far into the tools, I can also relate, you know, um, I've shared with you guys before, my husband has like a progressive health issue.
• 21:21
  Shay: So we are kind of dealing with constant uh trauma.
• 21:24
  Shay: And it's I had a really stressful job, and then I was kind of waking up every single morning with like sweaty palms.
• 21:30
  Shay: I couldn't do my job.
• 21:31
  Shay: My like I had all this hip pain and physical pain in my body, and and I was doing all the things, you know, I was taught in talk therapy, I was trying to take care of myself, and nothing was working.
• 21:43
  Shay: And so one thing that I have really enjoyed about this type of work or these types of tools is I've noticed talk therapy is awesome, meditating is awesome, all of this stuff is awesome, but a lot of times it um For me, talk therapy, I can kind of just stay in a loop.
• 22:04
  Shay: I was not getting anywhere.
• 22:05
  Shay: It was not helping me.
• 22:07
  Shay: And um, like I love meditating, but I have a lot of friends who like the idea of having to sit still and sit down and meditate is just like not in their realm of possibility.
• 22:15
  Shay: So the tools that Josh kind of discovered, I really like because it's taking language out of it and it's taking your ability to like sit, sit still and try to be this like perfect monk out of it.
• 22:25
  Shay: And it's really kind of active and practical.
• 22:28
  Shay: And I will be honest, I I wanted to have this conversation because I think the idea of like cold pledging and heat exposure and nervous system capacity building, it really gets kept in the arena of athletes, um, people with PTSD, you know, former vets.
• 22:45
  Shay: I, as a nerdy person, really never felt like this is something I can do because I'm not an athlete.
• 22:52
  Shay: I'm not like a sports person.
• 22:54
  Shay: But actually, by doing these more like physical-based activities, it was what Josh said.
• 22:59
  Shay: I think a lot of us, especially our listeners, the listeners of this podcast, we are heads.
• 23:04
  Shay: I've shared this a lot.
• 23:05
  Shay: We are like heads that just float around without a body.
• 23:08
  Shay: A lot of us spend almost our entire lives not knowing that feeling of I am in my body right now.
• 23:15
  Shay: And I know we have a lot of tools and techniques, but for me, I was at a point where I was doing all of the tools and techniques and it was still not hitting.
• 23:23
  Shay: It was not enough.
• 23:24
  Shay: I was not living that like best version of myself.
• 23:26
  Shay: So I really loved, I think like what sparked my curiosity about all these tools is just like how it almost like allowed me to reroute what I thought I had to do.
• 23:36
  Shay: I didn't have to like talk my way through it.
• 23:38
  Shay: I didn't have to sit there and like meditate forever my way through it.
• 23:40
  Shay: I could breathe, I could do something physical, I could get in the water and I could calm myself down.
• 23:45
  Shay: And so, Josh, I have heard you refer to yourself or refer to this, like one empowering moment for you was realizing I am my own alchemist.
• 23:54
  Shay: And so we talked a lot about books.
• 23:57
  Shay: The alchemist is my favorite book of all time.
• 23:59
  Shay: So when I've heard you say that, it like really struck me.
• 24:01
  Shay: But tell me a little bit more about like that discovery.
• 24:04
  Shay: I am my own alchemist, and what does that mean to you?
• 24:08
  Josh: Yeah, so it goes back to a buddy that just candid me the book, The Power of Now.
• 24:12
  Josh: And I had no idea what to expect.
• 24:14
  Josh: And he's like, this was like my journey, start here.
• 24:18
  Josh: And like I said, I was just so ready for anything else.
• 24:22
  Josh: Um, and started reading it.
• 24:24
  Josh: And kind of like you said, I had been through therapy, you know, cognitive behavior therapy is great, but I felt the same way, and that can kind of get self-indulgent, you know, depending on the therapist, you can just say the same thing and you're looking for confirmation bias.
• 24:38
  Josh: But then EMDR was super impactful.
• 24:40
  Josh: It felt like 15 years of therapy each session, and I was getting through things that I was not able to get through.
• 24:47
  Josh: It's any other modality.
• 24:48
  Josh: So it's really just tinkering or finding things, you know, much like fitness.
• 24:53
  Josh: Like I do CrossFit, but you may not like CrossFit.
• 24:56
  Josh: So you try things until you're like, yeah, this fits.
• 24:59
  Josh: This is how I want to show up.
• 25:01
  Josh: I feel good afterwards, and you just keep playing, you know, just like food.
• 25:05
  Josh: You keep playing and you keep playing, and it's like people have intolerances.
• 25:09
  Josh: You may be really drawn to something, um, and you won't know until you try it.
• 25:13
  Josh: And so my practice is do something, pay attention, journal on it.
• 25:18
  Josh: If it works, see if I can input that in my day and just try to teach people that.
• 25:23
  Josh: So a lot of people get overwhelmed with breath work, like, well, where do I start?
• 25:27
  Josh: It's real simple, just how we started like two minutes, extend your exhale, start to breathe.
• 25:33
  Josh: Do you feel better?
• 25:34
  Josh: Put that at the beginning of the day, put that at the beginning of a stressful conversation, put that at the end of your day.
• 25:40
  Josh: And so just being aware and putting these tools in so that you can show up better.
• 25:45
  Josh: Because if you're not, what we were both creating was basically cancer and autoimmune disease.
• 25:50
  Josh: I believe that we create those things in our bodies by just being up here.
• 25:55
  Josh: And as soon as we can get back to here, we just show up better, we feel better, the pains miraculously start to go away because the body keeps the score.
• 26:05
  Josh: It's another great book.
• 26:06
  Josh: And if we're holding on to it, we're just gonna be here.
• 26:09
  Josh: Just like in the ice bath, you don't want to be here, you want to be there.
• 26:12
  Josh: Um, but it's finding those things and playing with it because that may not be for you, or it may not be the right time for you.
• 26:19
  Josh: Yeah.
• 26:19
  Josh: You know, so it's timing, it's practice, and it's are you able to take it in and really be aware of what that's doing for you and that timeline.
• 26:30
  Mariah: I think we forget how important the breath is because even with like cold plunges and then you're going into like heat therapy and all of that, it's like I've done that quite a few times.
• 26:39
  Mariah: Um, and even when like you listen to the instructors, it's like almost with every healing modality, it's always come back to the breath, right?
• 26:47
  Mariah: And so it was interesting.
• 26:48
  Mariah: I found this out, I don't know, a couple of years ago where I found out some like schooling, I don't know if it was Japan or if it was China, but like the very first thing that they teach kindergartners is how to breathe, it's how to connect with their breath.
• 27:03
  Mariah: And at first, if you've never like experienced like a healing modality and like went through like instruction, you'd be like, that's so fucking silly.
• 27:09
  Mariah: What do you mean?
• 27:10
  Mariah: That's just like that's just a natural thing.
• 27:12
  Mariah: Like, I'm born, I breathe, like we breathe in.
• 27:15
  Mariah: Like it's not something that you have to figure out, but that's not true.
• 27:20
  Mariah: As we've learned throughout this, especially in stressful situations, like you're saying, it's like you go through trauma or you go through experiences, and then all of a sudden you're wound up so tight.
• 27:29
  Mariah: And it's like, yeah, but if you could learn how to come back to your breath and like release all of that, it's like your body can actually get into a state where it knows how to heal.
• 27:39
  Mariah: I think that we forget that.
• 27:40
  Mariah: The body is genius, it's miraculous.
• 27:42
  Mariah: Like at the time that we're recording this, I'm pregnant 26 weeks.
• 27:46
  Mariah: My body's literally creating a full human, and all I have to do is move my body and like not eat like complete shit and like not do drugs.
• 27:57
  Mariah: You know what I'm saying?
• 27:57
  Mariah: But like my body already knows how to literally create life.
• 28:01
  Mariah: Like, our body has so much more power than we give it, and then our brains turn online and it goes, yeah, but like that can't make sense.
• 28:11
  Mariah: No, I have to strategize that.
• 28:12
  Mariah: No, I need a 14-step plan.
• 28:14
  Mariah: And it's really like a lot of these modalities.
• 28:16
  Mariah: It's like, can you just be here now?
• 28:18
  Mariah: Like me and Shay went to a conference and we were just saying, like, over, well, it was kind of me saying over and over again.
• 28:23
  Mariah: I'm like, can we just like be here now?
• 28:25
  Mariah: Just like be here right now.
• 28:27
  Mariah: Like, this is the medicine.
• 28:28
  Mariah: Like, we don't have to sit here and figure it all out.
• 28:32
  Mariah: But we get praised for figuring it out.
• 28:35
  Mariah: Like, I'm a smart girl for figuring it out.
• 28:37
  Mariah: I'm strategic.
• 28:38
  Mariah: I'm so good at my job because I'm figuring it out.
• 28:40
  Mariah: And so it's like in this world that we are living in, it's almost like we have to go back to kindergarten and learn how to breathe because we've been like so much up here.
• 28:49
  Josh: Yeah.
• 28:49
  Josh: So all of our events, I always say the contrast therapy is really cool.
• 28:55
  Josh: It's very buzzy, has all of its own health benefits and down regulation stuff, and it's everywhere now.
• 29:01
  Josh: When I started this, nobody was doing it.
• 29:03
  Josh: I was like the weird ice plunge guy.
• 29:05
  Josh: Um, and now people are like, oh man, you were you've been doing this for a long time.
• 29:10
  Josh: Um, but the breath is the anchor of our program.
• 29:13
  Josh: So we start every session with 20 to 30 minutes of breath.
• 29:16
  Josh: I'm teaching the anatomy of breath, teaching you the how and the why.
• 29:19
  Josh: We do an up regulation, a down regulation, and that's what people talk about.
• 29:24
  Josh: They talk about it the most, they asked for it the most.
• 29:27
  Josh: And so a lot of these businesses are popping up and they're just adding contrast, but I'm not going to waver.
• 29:32
  Josh: The breath has to be a part of it because, like you said, it's the most important part.
• 29:37
  Josh: We breathe 25,000 times a day, and most people are mouth gaping, not aware, and just getting sucked into a stream and just coming back to the breath, closing the mouth, and taking some intentional inhales and exhales can transform your life.
• 29:53
  Josh: It's really that simple.
• 29:55
  Josh: Um, so I'm glad you brought up the breath because it's what I'm passionate about.
• 29:59
  Josh: It's the lowest hanging fruit in all things.
• 30:02
  Josh: And yeah, it doesn't have to be this like super huge, but people get in their head about it.
• 30:07
  Josh: You know, just like starting a fitness jersey journey.
• 30:10
  Josh: I always say sign up for a 5K and just do it.
• 30:13
  Josh: And with breath work, I say just start your timer and do two minutes and see how you feel, you know.
• 30:19
  Shay: That was one question I had for you, actually.
• 30:22
  Shay: So the business you built, contrast therapy is like the buzzword these days for like cold plunge, hot sauna, the contrast.
• 30:30
  Shay: But Josh found like the cold and the skill, but then you noticed something's missing here, and that was the breath.
• 30:40
  Shay: And so, if I'm understanding correctly, you've kind of developed your own unique approach to this.
• 30:45
  Shay: Because if I were to go to like the cold plunge studio, like the super fancy ritzy place, it's just kind of get in the get in the cold plunge, get in the sauna.
• 30:52
  Shay: There's not really much more to it.
• 30:54
  Shay: So, do you mind taking us through like where did that thought come from of like, oh, I think this could be done better?
• 30:59
  Shay: And how did you like put all that together?
• 31:02
  Josh: Yeah, so everywhere I was doing my training with, they were coaching breath.
• 31:05
  Josh: Um, and then I had a cold plunge and I started doing events, but I didn't have my reps yet.
• 31:11
  Josh: I wasn't comfortable coaching breath.
• 31:13
  Josh: So I was figuring out the logistics on the ice and how I was gonna do it, and 80% of people got out, my first three events.
• 31:22
  Josh: And so I called my mentor and he's like, You gotta start coaching breath.
• 31:25
  Josh: And I was like, uh, and that's when I had to get over myself.
• 31:30
  Mariah: Which sounds so silly.
• 31:31
  Mariah: Like you literally saying you have to start coaching breath.
• 31:34
  Mariah: Like, if you like haven't done breath work or anything, you're like, What do you mean coaching breath?
• 31:38
  Mariah: Like, yeah, it sounds so simple.
• 31:41
  Josh: Yeah, so he challenged me in my next level course, seven days, do your first breath event, or you're never gonna do it.
• 31:50
  Josh: And so I was the first one out of the group to do a guided breath session.
• 31:55
  Josh: And after my first guided breath session, almost everybody did three minutes on the ice.
• 32:00
  Josh: So then I was just tinkering with how, and then I added the down regulation first, up regulation to mimic that stressful feeling when you get in, and just kept tinkering with it until I found my city that I noticed people were having the best experience with the ice bath.
• 32:19
  Josh: Um, so that's how I came up with it because I just people were showing up and it just felt like it was my job to figure out how to set them up for success.
• 32:29
  Josh: And then it just worked out that that's the biggest thing people talk about.
• 32:33
  Shay: Yeah, I have been in many of your classes, and that is where the breakthroughs are happening.
• 32:37
  Shay: And it's interesting, you I've heard you and Samantha talk about this idea of like upregulating and downregulating.
• 32:43
  Shay: And I don't think that is an idea that I had really understood very much before I started working with you guys.
• 32:49
  Shay: Do you what what does that even mean?
• 32:51
  Shay: Like, why are we caring about upregulating and downregulating and our ability to like control the two?
• 32:57
  Josh: Yeah, so downregulating is very simple, just be would extending the exhale.
• 33:02
  Josh: So let's say we're in an excited state or you get nervous about something, you would just start doing a an aware breath where you're extending the exhale to get us out of our head, back in our body, to be present, to not be anxious.
• 33:15
  Josh: Um, the upregulating breath would be a way to start getting it getting energy moving.
• 33:20
  Josh: We're gonna get that heart rate up.
• 33:22
  Josh: Um, for people that have had anxiety or panic attacks, that can feel scary.
• 33:26
  Josh: But what it's doing is it's called a U-stress, it's a positive stress.
• 33:30
  Josh: We're putting you guys in this stressful state.
• 33:32
  Josh: So when that lysing comes, you know that I put myself in that panic attack.
• 33:37
  Josh: I can control it now, I can breathe through it.
• 33:40
  Josh: So it's a way to be used for performance, but I like it to get the energy flowing.
• 33:44
  Josh: Sometimes if we have repressed emotions that can start coming up, um, tightness in the body starts to loosen.
• 33:51
  Josh: So it's just a good way to kind of, like I said, be an alchemist with your own body and play with it.
• 33:56
  Josh: Um, and when I coach it, it's uncomfortable.
• 33:58
  Josh: Some people don't like that feeling.
• 34:00
  Josh: You get buzzy, you get it vibratey.
• 34:02
  Josh: I've had people say they're floating, and that makes some people very uncomfortable.
• 34:06
  Josh: And then we downregulate again into a breath hole, and then people are like, oh, I don't know if I like that.
• 34:11
  Josh: And so I always tell people, like everything we're saying, there's an integration process.
• 34:16
  Josh: You know, you're doing the work.
• 34:17
  Josh: Now just pay attention to how you feel.
• 34:19
  Josh: Like, did you like that?
• 34:20
  Josh: Why?
• 34:21
  Josh: Can you input this throughout the day?
• 34:22
  Josh: Yes or no?
• 34:23
  Josh: When and why would you input that throughout the day?
• 34:26
  Josh: And then just pay attention, you know.
• 34:28
  Josh: But it yeah, I love I love breath work.
• 34:31
  Josh: I love that you start us out with that in the beginning because uh, like you said, most people aren't aware.
• 34:37
  Josh: They're just going from thing to thing to thing, and it's just another thing on their list.
• 34:41
  Josh: And just taking like a minute of aware breath can help you show up a little bit better instead of just frantically going from the next thing.
• 34:52
  Shay: Well, you know, Mariah jokes, like it sounds easy, but I think most of us don't really know how to breathe correctly.
• 34:58
  Mariah: I forget, I forget to breathe properly because I'm walking around in my day.
• 35:03
  Mariah: I'm like, oh shit, I gotta answer my husband.
• 35:05
  Mariah: He's over here doing this.
• 35:06
  Mariah: I'm like, what the fuck is the puppy doing?
• 35:07
  Mariah: I'm just like zipping around, and then I'm like, wait a minute, I can just be here now.
• 35:13
  Mariah: I can just breathe for a second.
• 35:16
  Mariah: And then instantly it's like when you just switch that awareness to everything you have to do, everything that's in your hand, everything that you have to do for other people, for yourself, for your to-do list, like all of that.
• 35:27
  Mariah: And you just take some deep breaths.
• 35:29
  Mariah: If you can just slow down enough to notice you have medicine within you, like you don't have to pay somebody in order to take a breath.
• 35:41
  Mariah: And like we just forget how impactful it is.
• 35:45
  Mariah: And me and Shay talk about this all the time, especially this season, where it's just like how do we just keep it simple?
• 35:52
  Mariah: Just keep it simple, come back to the basics, and what's more basic than the breath?
• 35:57
  Josh: And yeah.
• 35:58
  Josh: So the easiest way, if people are curious about it, would be to sit with your hands on your knees, do a really deep inhale.
• 36:06
  Josh: Instead of doing an unconscious inhale, you're gonna be very conscious.
• 36:10
  Josh: You're gonna push that air to the back of your nasal pharynx and imagine it going in to the back of your skull and then down.
• 36:17
  Josh: That's a good way to get that oxygen there, being active in the breath.
• 36:22
  Josh: Deep inhale to the back, down to the diaphragm, making sure we're getting to the diaphragm.
• 36:28
  Josh: It starts there.
• 36:29
  Josh: Breathing in from the diaphragm back and down and making the circle.
• 36:35
  Josh: And just do that for two minutes and see how you feel.
• 36:37
  Josh: Like I just did two breaths, and I already have I already have like a little bit more energy.
• 36:42
  Josh: It's really that powerful.
• 36:44
  Josh: So just take a minute or two, be aware of your breath, breathe into the back of your throat, start with the diaphragm, cycle through, play with it, and put it throughout your day.
• 36:55
  Mariah: I love how simple we're making this.
• 36:57
  Mariah: And it's like you can do that while you're at a red light.
• 37:00
  Mariah: You can do that while right now while you're listening to the pot.
• 37:03
  Mariah: Like, you don't have to sit on a meditation pillow and carve out 25 minutes in order to take one minute of breath.
• 37:09
  Mariah: You could do it while you're in the bathroom.
• 37:10
  Mariah: And like we have a lot of moms that are listening, and it's like, lock your kid out of the bathroom for two minutes and fucking take some breath while you're sitting there peeing.
• 37:17
  Mariah: Like, we can we can weave this in and it can make a huge difference.
• 37:22
  Mariah: What I do want to go to is, and I mean, like, I say this quite often in business where I'm just like, I my beliefs in business is that like it gets to be fun.
• 37:32
  Mariah: Choose your fun, what feels fun for you.
• 37:34
  Mariah: And I've heard you say it's like when you're testing certain things out, asking yourself, does this feel good?
• 37:39
  Mariah: Does this feel good?
• 37:40
  Mariah: But I do think that there's um like that's been taking off on social media where it's like soft life, where it's almost like only doing things that feel good.
• 37:55
  Mariah: And I think, because you brought it up too, where it's like depending on the season that you're in, and I think that we can almost get too soft sometimes only doing things that feel good, only doing things that feel fun when really, in order to expand our capacity, a lot of it is like almost training ourselves to do hard things.
• 38:17
  Mariah: But then it's like, how hard do we want to go?
• 38:18
  Mariah: How do we know which hard things are actually worth it?
• 38:21
  Mariah: Like, I'm thinking about this with labor and birth.
• 38:23
  Mariah: It's like that's about to be one of the hardest things that I'm about to do in my entire life.
• 38:28
  Mariah: And like I'm kind of trying to go into it, like preparing for a marathon of like knowing that it's hard.
• 38:35
  Mariah: But it's like, what can I do in the meantime to teach my body that it's safe to do hard things?
• 38:41
  Mariah: Because there's no getting this baby's coming out one way or another.
• 38:44
  Mariah: And so, in my ideal situation, I do have an unmedicated birth.
• 38:49
  Mariah: Okay, fantastic.
• 38:50
  Mariah: But like that requires a level of mental training that really needs to happen.
• 38:56
  Mariah: And that's not gonna happen if I'm gonna be choosing to live like soft girl life.
• 39:01
  Mariah: So it's kind of like, how do you see this or work with people where it's kind of like, yeah, choose what feels good, but also like you gotta do some fucking hard shit.
• 39:11
  Mariah: As humans, we crave hard shit.
• 39:15
  Josh: Yeah.
• 39:16
  Josh: So the interesting thing about childbirth is, I mean, what's Lama's class teaching you how to breathe in and through and with the pain?
• 39:26
  Josh: Um that's that's what it is.
• 39:28
  Josh: So it's fine to me, like you said, I've just been doing it for so long now, and people are like, oh, that's weird, or that's too woo-woo.
• 39:35
  Josh: And I'm like, breathing's woo-woo.
• 39:37
  Josh: You do it 25,000 times a day.
• 39:39
  Josh: Wouldn't it make sense?
• 39:40
  Josh: Like, if you had a manual transmission, wouldn't you want to know how to drive it?
• 39:44
  Josh: Like, that's what the breath is.
• 39:46
  Josh: It is a manual transmission for your central nervous system.
• 39:49
  Josh: Um, but that's where the ice bath comes in.
• 39:52
  Josh: So I challenge everyone to try an ice bath.
• 39:56
  Josh: But what I like to do is do it for a stretch of time every day.
• 39:59
  Josh: Because every time you come to the ice bath, for example, last night, if I have high acuity calls and I go do it, it looks like I'm brand new at it.
• 40:08
  Josh: It'll take me 30 to 45 seconds to find my breath.
• 40:11
  Josh: If I'm regulated, I've had a good night's sleep, everything's my normal routine.
• 40:16
  Josh: I can start with an underwater hold of 20 to 30 seconds, pop up, and I have no reaction.
• 40:22
  Josh: So the ice bath is a teacher.
• 40:24
  Josh: It shows where we're at in our central nervous system, and then you can reverse engineer that.
• 40:28
  Josh: Why was that so hard today?
• 40:30
  Josh: Oh, I had a fight with the spouse.
• 40:31
  Josh: Okay, I had two glasses of wine, and then stop doing those things or reverse engineer to show up better.
• 40:37
  Josh: Some things are out of our control, but that's why I found the ice bath so powerful because I was doing it every day and wondering why did that feel like I had never done one before?
• 40:47
  Josh: And that made me realize, man, for the last 20 years, I've been coming home, high acuity calls, didn't have a practice, and I was shilling up pretty shitty.
• 40:56
  Josh: And I was doing hard things, but I wasn't doing the hardest thing, which is sitting with myself.
• 41:01
  Josh: Russell Simmons famously says, uh, if you don't have 20 minutes to meditate, you should be meditating for two hours.
• 41:08
  Josh: And that's what I found in the ice bath.
• 41:10
  Josh: It forced me to sit with myself in the uncomfortableness, in the breath, in the pain sometimes.
• 41:16
  Josh: But I know 30 to 45 seconds with my breath, all that dopamine's coming.
• 41:21
  Josh: And that just that's my awareness tool.
• 41:24
  Josh: So that's a great thing for people to do to do a hard thing.
• 41:27
  Josh: But find a good coach because a lot of people are getting them now, getting in the ice fast, and you really need some good coaching.
• 41:34
  Josh: Um, so that's what I would say.
• 41:36
  Josh: You know, it's a it's a very measured hard thing.
• 41:39
  Josh: It's gonna make your body feel better, your mind feel better.
• 41:42
  Josh: Um, it's a great place to start to do, try to do a hard thing.
• 41:46
  Shay: Yeah.
• 41:46
  Shay: I think one thing we share on the podcast a lot is this idea that confidence comes through proof.
• 41:51
  Shay: And one thing that I've noticed with the cold plunge is each time I do it, I've I am more confident because at the end I said, Oh, I just did something that I thought I couldn't do that I thought was really hard, and I got through it.
• 42:04
  Shay: So I love the cold plunge and the heat and even the breathing is like what you're saying, Mariah, these little opportunities to kind of push ourselves and push that capacity and that resilience.
• 42:14
  Shay: And that I'm really glad you just shared that about the cold plunge, Josh, because I um earlier this year we took a trip to Guatemala and I had a uh a surprise surgery.
• 42:24
  Shay: I lost an organ.
• 42:25
  Shay: We're gonna share more about that later this season.
• 42:28
  Shay: But I healed from that, came back, and I did a cold plunge maybe a couple months later.
• 42:33
  Shay: I it was like, I'll call it the worst.
• 42:35
  Shay: I know worse isn't a great word, but I did so bad.
• 42:37
  Shay: Like I was I couldn't calm down.
• 42:39
  Shay: And in this was coming from before Guatemala, I was like killing the cold plunges, and I was smooth, cool as a cucumber the entire time.
• 42:46
  Shay: And then all of a sudden, I couldn't do it at all.
• 42:48
  Shay: And I really was beating myself up.
• 42:50
  Shay: I was like, oh my gosh, I've totally regressed, I've lost all my skills, I'm gonna have to build it all up.
• 42:55
  Shay: But I like the way you're thinking about the cold plunge and the sauna is more of like a mirror.
• 43:00
  Shay: How do we know the health of our nervous system on any given day?
• 43:04
  Shay: It's kind of hard to check in with and no, but the cold, man, that'll just bring it up for you.
• 43:10
  Shay: And so for here, I loved hearing you say, like, yes, after a hard shift, it will feel like I have never done it before.
• 43:16
  Shay: And then the next day, it feels like I've been doing it for 20 years.
• 43:20
  Shay: You know, it's really kind of this mirror of how your nervous system is doing, which I had never thought about before, and it's very powerful.
• 43:28
  Josh: Yeah.
• 43:30
  Shay: And so I one thing I'm wondering like we keep coming back to this idea that like these tools are simple.
• 43:38
  Shay: I've heard you say before, like, saunas have been around as long as humans have been around, you know, breathing cold, people have doing cold plunges all over the world.
• 43:47
  Shay: These are all ancient, old, very simple, very low cost, most of the time techniques.
• 43:53
  Shay: But that's not how we hear about it today, right?
• 43:56
  Shay: This idea of like nervous system regulation and even cold plunging.
• 43:59
  Shay: It all has become like this thing to hack.
• 44:03
  Shay: Um, we can hack our nervous systems, you know, like we can do these things to get to this place.
• 44:09
  Shay: It's all very like, I don't know, biohacking.
• 44:13
  Shay: It's kind of the cool trendy buzzword these days.
• 44:16
  Shay: But what I keep getting struck by is like this stuff is really simple.
• 44:21
  Shay: Like, really, the most powerful things that we can do for ourselves are really, really simple.
• 44:27
  Shay: And I have found when I am trying to share this work with my friends, like, actually, just go into the bathroom and take a couple deep breaths.
• 44:35
  Shay: Or if you want to come do a cold plunge with me, it's almost like they don't believe it can be that simple.
• 44:40
  Shay: Like, oh, that no, it's gotta be way more complicated than that.
• 44:44
  Shay: I've got really complicated problems.
• 44:45
  Shay: That's not gonna work for me.
• 44:46
  Shay: And I'm curious, do you ever run into that with people that like maybe have some resistance to this?
• 44:51
  Shay: And like, it can't really be that simple.
• 44:53
  Shay: It's gotta be more complicated, and I gotta pay a lot of money for it and like get the biohack and everything.
• 44:58
  Josh: Yeah, I I was just having a talk with a friend.
• 45:00
  Josh: I'm in a couple groups and men's group, and now I'm like, people that came six years ago when I started, when they see me, they're like, I'm so sorry I haven't been.
• 45:09
  Josh: I've just been going through.
• 45:11
  Josh: I'm like, you don't have to apologize.
• 45:13
  Josh: Like, don't like feel like you see me and like it's fine.
• 45:17
  Josh: It's I'm always here two days a week.
• 45:19
  Josh: If you want to book a private.
• 45:21
  Josh: Um so it kind of stinks that now people see me and then they get in their head about, oh, I really need to go do that.
• 45:28
  Josh: Um, but the most common thing people say is, I don't like the cold.
• 45:32
  Josh: It's like, yeah, I don't either.
• 45:34
  Josh: I get in because I know how I feel afterwards.
• 45:37
  Josh: Like every time I get in, I have to be like, okay, you're gonna have to breathe, but I know that 250% increase in dopamine is there after, and it's gonna be 10 seconds or it's gonna be 45 seconds.
• 45:49
  Josh: So that's how I get in all the time because I know how I'm gonna feel afterwards.
• 45:53
  Josh: But I think also as people are like, I'm not that kind of person.
• 45:56
  Josh: It's like the power of now landing for us.
• 45:59
  Josh: People will go do those things when they're ready for them, and maybe they're not ready for that thing.
• 46:04
  Josh: You know, we like, I like subconsciously sitting in my suffering for a while.
• 46:10
  Josh: You know, I liked looking back, being that PTSD veteran stereotype.
• 46:15
  Josh: Like I was aware of that.
• 46:17
  Josh: I think some of us really like that.
• 46:19
  Josh: It's like this happened to me, and we're identifying with it, and it's stopping us from growing.
• 46:25
  Josh: So people have to get to a place where they're like, like you said, be here now, or like I can be different right now.
• 46:32
  Josh: Like I can make a choice to not show up that way.
• 46:35
  Josh: I can regulate myself with my breath.
• 46:37
  Josh: I can close my eyes right now, and I know if my eyes are darting back and forth a little bit, I know I'm in a little bit more of a fight or flight state.
• 46:45
  Josh: And now I can breathe for two minutes and see if my eyes are darting back and forth and know that I'm not in a fight or flight state.
• 46:52
  Josh: But it's wanting to do that, you know, and unfortunately, like you said, unfortunately, it takes usually some kind of like natural disaster in the lives to get there.
• 47:03
  Josh: But it doesn't have to, you know.
• 47:05
  Josh: That's when we really start to do the work.
• 47:08
  Josh: And so that's what I'm passionate about is getting around, showing people to start implementing these things.
• 47:14
  Josh: Make yourself more resilient because that thing is coming.
• 47:17
  Josh: Don't wait until you're in like the bottom of pit and you have to climb out of it.
• 47:22
  Josh: Make yourself more resilient with these practices now so that you're not creating disease in the meantime.
• 47:29
  Mariah: You want to know what I found out that was fascinating.
• 47:32
  Mariah: I don't know what podcast I was listening to, but it was some kind of scientist basically saying, um, I know that you you've probably heard where it's like we need to get more sunlight, like on our eyeballs.
• 47:44
  Mariah: Like when you wake up in the morning, it's like our circadian rhythm.
• 47:46
  Mariah: You have to go outside.
• 47:48
  Mariah: We spend way too much time inside.
• 47:50
  Mariah: It's blue lights, like that type of thing.
• 47:51
  Mariah: Go outside.
• 47:52
  Mariah: And so I live in Buffalo.
• 47:55
  Mariah: We got like four months of good weather, and then it's fucking cold all the time.
• 48:01
  Mariah: And so people are like, okay, so I live in Buffalo.
• 48:04
  Mariah: So I mean, this wasn't like legitimately they weren't using Buffalo, but like I live in Buffalo, so I'm fucked for like eight months out of the year because I can't get that sunlight on my eyes, or it's like I can't get that warm sun on my skin.
• 48:18
  Mariah: Does this mean that like I have to move to Florida and then sweat all summer long?
• 48:21
  Mariah: And so the scientists said what they're finding is that if you can't get sun, get cold.
• 48:29
  Mariah: Because what they're finding is in the in your cells, when your body gets cold enough, it generates actual like light.
• 48:38
  Mariah: Like if your cells can't get light from an outside source, if the when they're cold enough, they will generate their own light.
• 48:46
  Mariah: And like that's fucking fascinating.
• 48:51
  Mariah: And also I know that, right?
• 48:52
  Mariah: I heard that.
• 48:53
  Mariah: And then, you know, this past winter, I'm I'm going through and I was like, if I can't get sun, I'm gonna get cold.
• 48:58
  Mariah: If I can't get sun, I'm gonna get cold.
• 49:00
  Mariah: And then I go outside and go, fuck no, I'm not getting cold.
• 49:03
  Mariah: And I come right back in.
• 49:04
  Mariah: But I tried to go for walks when I was like, when it was cold outside, and it completely shifts.
• 49:13
  Mariah: Like it's always interesting living in Buffalo where it's like when it starts to get cold, let's say in like October, November, and we're all freezing when it's like 50 degrees because our body's not used to it, right?
• 49:25
  Mariah: We're used to this like warmer temperature.
• 49:27
  Mariah: But then that same 50 degrees in April, we get a 50 degree day and we were like, oh my god, I could go to the beach.
• 49:34
  Mariah: This feels so good.
• 49:35
  Mariah: And I think that we forget as humans when we expand our capacity, and obviously we're using breath and we're using like cold as an example, but it's like the body is resilient, the body adapts to this, and it comes back to like, what a fucking cool mechanism that if you can't get sun, you can get cold, and then we generate our own light, and then our body still has the capabilities to like heal itself.
• 50:00
  Mariah: I just think that that is like one of the coolest things that we don't again, we don't have to overcomplicate.
• 50:10
  Mariah: Oh, it's cold outside, go and get cold outside, like that type of thing.
• 50:14
  Mariah: But then you notice like that block of like, no, that's uncomfortable.
• 50:18
  Mariah: And like, thank god my husband's like kind of in this too, because it's like we have each other to kind of force ourselves to do it.
• 50:24
  Mariah: Where it's like, I'm going for a walk outside.
• 50:26
  Mariah: Are you coming with me or are you gonna be a loser and sit here by yourself?
• 50:29
  Mariah: And so it's uh it's similar to like that, it's not exactly like that coaching relationship, but it's almost like that accountability because otherwise I'm living soft girl life.
• 50:38
  Mariah: You know what I mean?
• 50:39
  Mariah: I don't want to do hard things all the time.
• 50:41
  Mariah: That sounds awful.
• 50:44
  Josh: Yeah, so I just had some new clients the other day, and they were like, What do you do in the winter?
• 50:48
  Josh: I'm like, What do you mean?
• 50:50
  Josh: And they're like, Well, do you do this in the winter?
• 50:52
  Josh: I'm like, Yeah, could we get a snow day?
• 50:55
  Josh: I shovel this snow, I put a post out, free pop-up, and about a dozen crazies come and do contrast therapy in the 10 degrees while it's snowing, and they'll do snow angels.
• 51:06
  Josh: And a lot of these people had never done this before.
• 51:09
  Josh: And they started coming, they see the benefits, and we have a tribe that are like, I love doing it when it's cold.
• 51:15
  Josh: Because your body needs it.
• 51:16
  Josh: You're just sitting around all day, like you said.
• 51:18
  Josh: I hadn't I hadn't heard that, but it makes sense because all of these countries where it started, they have really bad winters, and that's where all these sonic cultures came from.
• 51:26
  Josh: That's how they get through these winters.
• 51:28
  Josh: Um, I just helped my buddy launch a breath and exposure in Canada, and it's dark three months of the year up there, and it's really cold.
• 51:36
  Josh: So he's launching it because he saw the benefits, and he's like, these people need this.
• 51:40
  Josh: And so now droves of people are driving from very far away because it's pretty rural to have contrast therapy in their lives because mental health gets so bad when they don't have sunlight.
• 51:51
  Shay: Man, you know, there is a lot of science behind this, which Mariah just kind of touched on, and I know you know a lot about, but to be honest, I didn't know much at all.
• 52:00
  Shay: Um, even just as simple as like if your exhale is longer than your inhale, your signal, you're sending signals to your brain, like it's okay to calm down right now.
• 52:09
  Shay: And I know that you also, and Josh, you're gonna have to correct me.
• 52:12
  Shay: I'm not gonna say this well.
• 52:13
  Shay: You teach a class, it's all like underwater training.
• 52:17
  Shay: And what I understand is I think it's to improve like VO2 max or like your ability to your lungs capacity, because the more like breathing capacity we have, like literally the more like resilience we have.
• 52:30
  Shay: Do you mind talking a bit more about like why why should we care about breath and our lung capacity or VO2 tolerance, or like what is what are all those words that I'm messing up?
• 52:39
  Shay: And like, why do we care data-wise?
• 52:41
  Josh: Yeah.
• 52:41
  Josh: So VO2 max is a really cool indicator, but that's more for performance.
• 52:45
  Josh: Okay.
• 52:45
  Josh: So the CO2 tolerance test is something that I do, and you just sit at rest, you take an inhale, and you do a hold.
• 52:53
  Josh: And so, just like closing the eyes, just like the ice bath, it's a great gauge to see where you're at.
• 52:58
  Josh: Um, there's a pyramid of dysfunction.
• 53:00
  Josh: Man, if we do that test right now, I can do it with you, and I can tell you based on your score, what medicines you're taking, how your sleep is, what your sexual function is like.
• 53:10
  Josh: I can tell you basically your health stuff based on your CO2 tolerance.
• 53:15
  Josh: So, all of our events, the underwater breast stuff, is a way to trick people into having fun and finding play again, but also working on that CO2 tolerance.
• 53:24
  Josh: So we're holding weights, we're walking underwater, we're playing like we were kids.
• 53:28
  Josh: Remember when you were a kid and you went to the bottom of the pool and you're envisioning out all girls say dolphin, every man said shark.
• 53:35
  Josh: That's what we're doing.
• 53:36
  Josh: We're going underwater and we're working on breath hold, but having fun with very little impact.
• 53:41
  Josh: And it's a way to trick adults into play again while working on their CO2 tolerance.
• 53:46
  Shay: And why do we care about CO2 tolerance?
• 53:48
  Shay: So, like, what's the other side of the pyramid?
• 53:50
  Shay: Like, if I build by CO2 tolerance, what does that look like?
• 53:53
  Josh: Physically, well, for example, like she said, sometimes she's not thinking even her breath.
• 53:57
  Josh: So if I'm just sitting here and I just get in this passive barely breathing, eventually I'm putting myself in a very anxious state.
• 54:05
  Josh: So I'm not giving my body the energy, the oxygen, and it's just like a low-level existence, really.
• 54:12
  Josh: And so the CO2 tolerance is just making your body move, starving it of oxygen so that it can perform with a lower level of oxygen.
• 54:21
  Josh: That makes mental health better, digestion better, sexual function.
• 54:24
  Josh: Literally everything gets better when our CO2 tolerance gets better.
• 54:28
  Josh: And it's as simple as just starting with breath holds.
• 54:30
  Josh: Or like at the retreat, we did water in our mouth walking for a little bit, and it gets uncomfortable very quick.
• 54:37
  Josh: And you just keep extending those and extending those.
• 54:40
  Josh: So breath holds are also something we do to try to extend that CO2 tolerance.
• 54:44
  Josh: But you can look it up, it's very simple and it's a great gauge just to see where you're at.
• 54:49
  Shay: I was really shocked, Maria.
• 54:51
  Shay: I don't know if you've dug into this, like just my CO2 tolerance, how many different aspects of my wellness it affects.
• 54:59
  Shay: Like just it's um digestion, it's anxiety, it's sexual health.
• 55:04
  Shay: It's like literally every facet of health, sleep quality was affected by my CO2 tolerance.
• 55:11
  Shay: And this was something I've had literally never heard of before.
• 55:14
  Shay: And Josh here is like a pretty simple free technique that I'm sure there's more sophisticated ways, but you can measure it on your own and get a general idea of where you stand.
• 55:23
  Shay: And so I really love like that kind of practical tool and the data behind that.
• 55:28
  Shay: You know, we've talked a bit about heart math on this podcast before.
• 55:31
  Shay: Like it's so logical, honestly.
• 55:34
  Shay: I'm sitting here, and if of course, if I'm at my desk hunched over all day, taking short breaths, what signal am I telling my body?
• 55:40
  Shay: Am I saying I'm safe right now?
• 55:41
  Shay: Am I saying, you know, like we are okay?
• 55:43
  Shay: No, I'm kind of like, hey, we're not breathing well.
• 55:46
  Shay: Hey, we're stressed about this email.
• 55:48
  Shay: And so, of course, over time that leads to anxiety.
• 55:50
  Shay: But I think a lot of us just think that that's normal.
• 55:53
  Shay: I think a lot of people, especially in our world, are kind of used to staying in a state of fight or flight.
• 56:00
  Shay: Like that is kind of normal.
• 56:01
  Shay: There is not that um zone of tolerance they talk about, where you can kind of get in your body, you rest and digest, or whatever.
• 56:09
  Shay: We're either stuck high, up regulated, or low, kind of like down regulated.
• 56:13
  Shay: And so I'm curious, like from your perspective, why why why should we all care?
• 56:21
  Shay: Like most people I know are walking around kind of stuck in a fight or flight cycle.
• 56:25
  Shay: Why is it important that like we Mariah is saying, like, it's easier to have soft girl life and like not just kind of this is normal, this is how everyone is, maybe I'll get on some meds or something.
• 56:35
  Shay: Like, why do you think it's like a personal responsibility to take care of yourself in this way?
• 56:41
  Josh: Yeah, I mean, I think the one thing that all humans have in common is they want to feel safe, they want the families to be safe, and they want to feel good.
• 56:50
  Josh: And this is the best way to feel good, just being aware, breathing.
• 56:55
  Josh: You know, think of it like if you have a really nice sports car that all that makes you put 93 octane in it, but you put 87 in, it's just not gonna run the same.
• 57:06
  Josh: Yeah, and if you eat like shit, I feel like shit.
• 57:09
  Josh: People don't understand at the firehouse, how do you eat so clean?
• 57:12
  Josh: I'm like, because if I have two bad meals, I feel horrible.
• 57:16
  Josh: And so people are just walking around feeling horrible all day or chasing that dopamine for that shit meal.
• 57:23
  Josh: And the same thing goes for breath.
• 57:25
  Josh: If we're not being aware of it, you're just in this just existing state, and it just takes a couple minutes of conscious breath.
• 57:32
  Josh: Um, I have some really high-level people that I teach them how to breathe in a meeting.
• 57:36
  Josh: You know, someone flies off the handle instead of reacting.
• 57:39
  Josh: You can do that breath that I said without coming out to your mouth and make it very subtle, or you can regulate in the moment instead of reacting.
• 57:48
  Josh: Um, so it just makes everything better.
• 57:51
  Josh: And it really is simple.
• 57:53
  Josh: It's kind of hard to get over that hump, um, but you can get some instruction.
• 57:57
  Josh: And I think that's our next step was to start teaching people online because people get so much in their head about it.
• 58:03
  Josh: Like, where do I start?
• 58:04
  Josh: How do I do it?
• 58:05
  Josh: Um, and it's very simple.
• 58:07
  Josh: But the CO2 tolerance test is so fun because you can seek suffering in that CO2 tolerance test.
• 58:13
  Josh: Just take a deep breath and start walking and try to get 25.
• 58:18
  Josh: And the next day, try to get 50 and then try to get your full block.
• 58:23
  Josh: And before you know it, you're like, Oh, I'm feeling better.
• 58:26
  Josh: That was easy.
• 58:28
  Josh: I just got a little uncomfortable for 30 seconds and I'm feeling better, I'm breathing better.
• 58:33
  Josh: Um, and it's the simplicity that really bogs people down because they want to pay the money and they want to take the pill.
• 58:39
  Shay: Yes.
• 58:40
  Josh: Um, but it really is that simple.
• 58:43
  Josh: Just try it, I promise.
• 58:45
  Mariah: I'm just I'm over here laughing because obviously pregnancy is top of the brain.
• 58:50
  Mariah: That is like, it's the world that I'm currently living in.
• 58:52
  Mariah: That is my reality.
• 58:53
  Mariah: And so I'm laughing because you're just like, yeah, and we're gonna test your CO2 tolerance.
• 58:57
  Mariah: I'm like, bro, since week seven, my lung capacity.
• 59:00
  Mariah: I was joking with a friend.
• 59:01
  Mariah: I was like, my rib cage is like twice the size of my lung capacity.
• 59:05
  Mariah: It's like it feels like one-tenth.
• 59:07
  Mariah: I was joking with my husband.
• 59:08
  Mariah: I was like, Oh, you need a pair of socks upstairs.
• 59:10
  Mariah: I'm literally fucking out of breath from getting them.
• 59:12
  Mariah: And I just think it's so funny that like the body has to adapt and do all of this.
• 59:16
  Mariah: And I joke it's because I currently am walking around with two, two sets of lungs.
• 59:21
  Mariah: You know what I'm saying?
• 59:22
  Mariah: Like, I'm just on building shit.
• 59:23
  Mariah: Um, so I'm like laughing at the fact of like me testing this stuff out, and it's like, hold water in your mouth and go for a walk.
• 59:32
  Mariah: I was like, I can barely have a conversation about what I want for breakfast when I'm like walking outside right now, which is kind of fun.
• 59:39
  Mariah: Not really, it's not fun at all.
• 59:40
  Mariah: But I was taking some notes while you were talking, and I really like you said low level of existence.
• 59:46
  Mariah: And I don't know, like, that is such a good, like, such good language to just be able to explain things.
• 59:57
  Mariah: I've never heard anybody say it like that, like kind of just living at the this low level of existence where it's like you're kind of just hanging out.
• 1:00:03
  Mariah: And then I really like what you said regulate instead of reacting.
• 1:00:08
  Mariah: And I don't think that a lot of people realize that that is a choice that we can make.
• 1:00:15
  Mariah: Like Shay brought up personal responsibility, that's a huge thing.
• 1:00:19
  Mariah: Um, and being able to take personal responsibility for the way that you react in situations is huge.
• 1:00:28
  Mariah: And knowing that, like when you can calm yourself, you can come back to your breath, you expand your CO to max, or I'm fucking these words up.
• 1:00:38
  Mariah: When you expand your tolerance, yeah, when you expand your tolerance of life, basically, it's like you can now come at these situations.
• 1:00:47
  Mariah: Like, I love the example of a meeting where I'm thinking of like when I'm speaking, I'm speaking on stage or I'm speaking in front of people, or I'm giving a workshop.
• 1:00:55
  Mariah: It's like it's very important that I figure out how to regulate in that moment instead of allowing it to take me away.
• 1:01:04
  Mariah: Because once you start looping and then your breath shortens up, and then your posture, you become a shrimp, and then you're like a shrimp with shitty posture, and then you like can't breathe, and it all kind of combats each other, and then you feel like you have no way out.
• 1:01:20
  Mariah: But really, the more that you can expand your capacity in other ways, it trickles into these other areas of life.
• 1:01:27
  Mariah: And like it's it's often not, I don't know if you notice this, but like for me, it's never been like this huge aha, like, oh shit, now I can see that like my nervous system, like I'm regulated, like we're I've expanded capacity.
• 1:01:44
  Mariah: It kind of shows up in like these little micro moments of like, damn, I was at this meeting and my boss was going off.
• 1:01:50
  Mariah: And I didn't, I didn't feel no type of way about it.
• 1:01:54
  Mariah: I kind of was just a little bit neutral.
• 1:01:56
  Mariah: Or it's like, oh shit, I was speaking in front of people for the fifth time, and I didn't glaze over and like overthink and start looping.
• 1:02:06
  Mariah: It's almost in like you notice this expansion for being being able to do hard things, trickles into every area of life, but it's not like this um, this huge sexy epiphany half the time.
• 1:02:18
  Mariah: It's kind of like these little micro moments.
• 1:02:20
  Mariah: Is that what you've seen too?
• 1:02:23
  Josh: Yeah.
• 1:02:24
  Josh: Yeah, for sure.
• 1:02:25
  Josh: Like, like I said, people, it's really the identifying with things.
• 1:02:29
  Josh: Like you said, you're pregnant.
• 1:02:30
  Josh: So, first, as a safety thing, I wouldn't do the CO2 tolerance with water in your mouth just being pregnant.
• 1:02:36
  Josh: Uh ice baths also talk to your physicians just as like a safety uh believe me, dude.
• 1:02:42
  Mariah: It was it was not on my list until after baby is already born, but it's it's like it's the reality that I'm in, right?
• 1:02:49
  Mariah: And you know what I mean?
• 1:02:50
  Mariah: I'm just like, well, I can still come back to my breath though.
• 1:02:52
  Josh: Yeah, a safe thing that you can do that anyone can do would just be stay nasal.
• 1:02:57
  Josh: So go on a brisk walk and try to stay nasal only.
• 1:03:00
  Josh: That's gonna help build your CO2 tolerance.
• 1:03:02
  Josh: And we could talk for two hours about the breathing gears and how to start adding other tools, but staying nasal, doing something rigorous, even starting with a brisk walk, you'll start to reap the benefits of getting uncomfortable.
• 1:03:14
  Josh: It's a safe way to start adding that CO2 tolerance.
• 1:03:17
  Josh: You're essentially doing breath work while moving, go on a brisk walk, try to stay nasal.
• 1:03:22
  Josh: You'll be very surprised how hard it is if you've never done it.
• 1:03:25
  Mariah: Stay nasal sounds hilarious.
• 1:03:29
  Josh: That's a that look that should be a new shirt.
• 1:03:31
  Mariah: Stay nasal.
• 1:03:32
  Shay: It would spark curiosity.
• 1:03:33
  Shay: We like that.
• 1:03:34
  Josh: Um, but yeah, real quick, like I said, people like to identify.
• 1:03:37
  Josh: So what I hear a lot is like, well, I have anxiety, or I'm bipolar, or I'm people say the thing and they self-identify with the thing.
• 1:03:48
  Josh: And I always try to tell people to restructure that.
• 1:03:50
  Josh: Maybe like I have struggled with this, or I was diagnosed with that, but not like so much identify, like this is who I am.
• 1:03:59
  Josh: And I feel like that's a really big thing today.
• 1:04:02
  Josh: Um, it could be that same way with like work.
• 1:04:05
  Josh: I everybody's busy, I'm busy.
• 1:04:07
  Josh: Oh, okay, everybody's busy.
• 1:04:10
  Josh: I just had a dinner with my wife, and she's like, Yeah, I have seven-year-old grandmas who don't work, and they're like, Oh, I'm so busy.
• 1:04:17
  Josh: Okay, you got anything else?
• 1:04:20
  Josh: You know, like that's our society.
• 1:04:22
  Josh: Everybody's just go, go, go.
• 1:04:23
  Josh: Everybody's so busy, or they want to identify what's a thing.
• 1:04:26
  Josh: Um, and maybe don't, you know, maybe don't identify with so many things because they all kind of have a negative connotation, and we're just bringing ourselves down to a thing.
• 1:04:37
  Josh: A busy, I'm depressed, I'm missed.
• 1:04:40
  Josh: Um, people struggle with those things and go through those things, but that's not who you are.
• 1:04:45
  Josh: So again, come back to the breath, take a deep breath, don't identify with what's going on with your life in that season.
• 1:04:52
  Josh: Um, because this too shall pass.
• 1:04:56
  Shay: Oh.
• 1:04:56
  Shay: That's so good.
• 1:04:58
  Shay: And there's something about identity.
• 1:05:00
  Shay: So we're talking about nervous system regulation.
• 1:05:03
  Shay: And Josh, we've talked a lot about like tools, the tools that we can use.
• 1:05:07
  Shay: But there's this other side of nervous system regulation.
• 1:05:10
  Shay: We talked on our past episode with Kim, which you should go back and listen to.
• 1:05:14
  Shay: Identity.
• 1:05:15
  Shay: And I this idea of identity keeps coming up.
• 1:05:17
  Shay: And that's I shared with you guys one of the reasons I love the cold plunges.
• 1:05:20
  Shay: That was my first takeaway.
• 1:05:22
  Shay: Oh, I was a person that doesn't get in the cold, but I just did.
• 1:05:25
  Shay: So, what does that mean?
• 1:05:27
  Shay: Oh, my this is all ego, right?
• 1:05:30
  Shay: That that's not real.
• 1:05:31
  Shay: And so, where else am I holding myself back with these beliefs of how I am?
• 1:05:35
  Shay: And I like how you said that.
• 1:05:37
  Shay: Like, could there be another world where I am not like that?
• 1:05:40
  Shay: So, just like this simple practice of getting in cold water sounds kind of basic, but for me, that like first identity shift has kind of led to a lot more identity shifts.
• 1:05:51
  Shay: And then the confidence that comes with that, it it's amazing like how much our mind can either limit us or expand us.
• 1:05:59
  Shay: And I'm curious from your perspective, I've heard you say, like, yes, the tools are awesome for like regulating and helping me like get back into my body.
• 1:06:08
  Shay: But like, I think for you, I've and I heard this on a different podcast episode, there's an identity piece.
• 1:06:14
  Shay: You have noticed, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but when you are not acting from a place of service, you feel like your identity is off, and you feel like you're in a not good place.
• 1:06:27
  Shay: You're not in the best version of yourself.
• 1:06:28
  Shay: So I'm wondering, do you mind like talking a bit about that?
• 1:06:31
  Shay: Like, when is it time to do like identity shifting and identity work?
• 1:06:36
  Shay: And then when is it more time for the twins?
• 1:06:37
  Shay: Does that make sense?
• 1:06:39
  Josh: Yeah.
• 1:06:39
  Josh: Well, I I guess the answer to that would be it depends on where you're at.
• 1:06:43
  Josh: I know that when I go on vacation, I'm finding a gym and I'm trying to find a gem, a contrast therapy.
• 1:06:50
  Josh: Because after a couple days, I'll start to eat myself.
• 1:06:53
  Josh: Like I need to move rigorously, I need to do my meditation, I need to do certain things so that I show up and not be so reactive.
• 1:07:01
  Josh: So it's really wherever you're at, and just start implementing these tools.
• 1:07:06
  Josh: Um, and what I didn't want to do is get to a place where like I have to do two hours of this stuff, otherwise I'm a dickhead.
• 1:07:12
  Josh: Um, that's not healthy either.
• 1:07:14
  Josh: So find the things that you can do, whether that's 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, and like I said, just be aware and see how you react to it if that makes sense.
• 1:07:24
  Josh: Um and that's what I found.
• 1:07:26
  Josh: So I kept playing with them, kept tinkering, and I'll come back.
• 1:07:29
  Josh: And um, but I know I'm always better when I do the things that I know help me show up better.
• 1:07:36
  Josh: Um and the acts of service, I think I can be a very selfish individual.
• 1:07:41
  Josh: And so when I'm trying to help other people, it brings me back to myself.
• 1:07:46
  Josh: Um and I feel like that's another thing that's missing right now: community.
• 1:07:50
  Josh: That's why podcasts like this are getting so big because people aren't really talking anymore.
• 1:07:55
  Josh: Definitely not this deep.
• 1:07:57
  Josh: And so finding a community, curating a community has just really fed my soul.
• 1:08:02
  Josh: Like a retreat coming up this weekend, so excited for to be able to be outdoors, be around people and share the breath work and do it with them and see those shifts happen in those people and be able to see like you're coming back for the second time, hearing stories about how they implemented those things, how it helped them, and then being that ripple in the palm.
• 1:08:23
  Josh: That's like my favorite saying.
• 1:08:24
  Josh: Um, saying that, and then maybe that affects that person that just came the first time.
• 1:08:28
  Josh: Maybe they tell their friend and they just start playing with these things to see if they if they feel better.
• 1:08:35
  Mariah: I think that's another really good example of like you have to do hard things.
• 1:08:39
  Mariah: And you usually when we think about community, we don't think about that as like a hard thing, but like it's actually hard to be like a good community member because, like you're saying, half of us we're busy, we're wearing these badges of honor of not having any time in our day for us.
• 1:08:56
  Mariah: Like, what do you mean now I have to drop everything and like go and help my friend who needs help, X, Y, and Z.
• 1:09:02
  Mariah: And like, in order to be in a community that feels very supportive, you can't just show up and like expect community.
• 1:09:08
  Mariah: Like, you have to be willing to be a community member.
• 1:09:12
  Mariah: Like you have to be open and like be willing to experience things with people.
• 1:09:17
  Mariah: And I think I see it a lot of the time, like people complaining about like, well, I'm, you know, I always try to be there for my friends, but nobody's there for me.
• 1:09:28
  Mariah: And like everybody's really focused on kind of like that perspective of it.
• 1:09:32
  Mariah: And I think that we've lost that, like that real true community aspect.
• 1:09:36
  Mariah: I even noticed it with myself.
• 1:09:38
  Mariah: So, like, I listen, I ordered Instacart and I tried to get five bananas.
• 1:09:43
  Mariah: Okay.
• 1:09:43
  Mariah: So I ordered five bananas.
• 1:09:46
  Mariah: What shows up in my house?
• 1:09:47
  Mariah: Five bunches of bananas.
• 1:09:49
  Mariah: What the fuck am I gonna do with 25 bananas?
• 1:09:53
  Mariah: So I was sitting here and I was like, I guess I'm making banana bread for like the entire neighborhood because I'm I can't eat all of this banana bread.
• 1:10:01
  Mariah: And so I'm making banana bread, right?
• 1:10:04
  Mariah: I have eight loaves of banana bread.
• 1:10:06
  Mariah: I'm gonna there's a point to this.
• 1:10:08
  Mariah: And so I got eight loaves of banana bread and I go and knock on my neighbor's door.
• 1:10:12
  Mariah: I know they're home.
• 1:10:13
  Mariah: I see that they are home.
• 1:10:15
  Mariah: They don't answer the door.
• 1:10:16
  Mariah: No, bitch, I got banana bread.
• 1:10:19
  Mariah: Like, what?
• 1:10:20
  Mariah: Like what?
• 1:10:21
  Mariah: Come and get this banana bread.
• 1:10:23
  Mariah: And so I was like mad, right?
• 1:10:25
  Mariah: I'm texting my husband.
• 1:10:26
  Mariah: I'm just like, they didn't fucking want my banana bread, yada, yada.
• 1:10:28
  Mariah: And then I go to my other neighbor who is an older woman.
• 1:10:31
  Mariah: She's got to be in her late 80s, whatever.
• 1:10:33
  Mariah: I knock on the door and she goes, Oh, and she's so joyful and excited to have a conversation with somebody in her community.
• 1:10:41
  Mariah: And she goes, What do you got there?
• 1:10:42
  Mariah: And I was like, listen, girl, this ain't the best banana bread, but like you're gonna eat this banana bread.
• 1:10:46
  Mariah: And so I'm giving it to her.
• 1:10:47
  Mariah: She was like, Come sit on the porch with me, come chat with me.
• 1:10:50
  Mariah: And she was just so open because, like, she, and she'll even tell me in stories like she remembers everybody that lived in the neighborhood.
• 1:10:57
  Mariah: She's lived there for 50 years.
• 1:10:59
  Mariah: She remembers everybody in the neighborhood.
• 1:11:01
  Mariah: She used to be super close to all of these people, and now everybody is so siloed off.
• 1:11:05
  Mariah: And it's like, I'm trying to knock on my neighbor's door.
• 1:11:08
  Mariah: I know that they're home and they don't want to answer.
• 1:11:10
  Mariah: And then I started getting mad and I go, ah, they knocked on my door two weeks ago, and I literally hid behind the couch.
• 1:11:15
  Mariah: Like, so it's not just other people, but uh what I'm saying is it really made me realize that if you want to be part of a community, the banana bread is just one instance.
• 1:11:26
  Mariah: If you want to be part of a community, you have to be willing to be part of the community.
• 1:11:30
  Mariah: You have to be willing to open up the door when it gets uncomfortable, even though you don't want to sit there and chit-chat with people.
• 1:11:35
  Mariah: You have to be willing to, oh man, I know that this like this month is busy, but I'm really interested in going to a retreat.
• 1:11:42
  Mariah: So I'm going to carve out the time and show up.
• 1:11:45
  Mariah: And when I show up, I'm going to experience this stuff with people.
• 1:11:48
  Mariah: I'm going to engage in conversation because sometimes at retreats, people lock themselves in their room and they're just like, yo, knock on my door when dinner's happening.
• 1:11:56
  Mariah: Like that type of thing.
• 1:11:58
  Mariah: And community requires us to get uncomfortable because we're so comfortable because we think that we can get connection simply from our phones.
• 1:12:07
  Mariah: And I think that we're realizing that that's not the same depth that as a human we are actually craving.
• 1:12:13
  Mariah: All of this because of banana bread.
• 1:12:16
  Josh: Well, I think what you should have done, my favorite thing, it made me think of like, you know, the ladies were holding up sourdough, like dudes hold up fish that they catch.
• 1:12:24
  Josh: Yeah.
• 1:12:24
  Josh: Have you seen that?
• 1:12:25
  Josh: I love when girls are like, Look at this.
• 1:12:28
  Shay: Yes.
• 1:12:30
  Josh: You should have done like an Instagram post holding it up like a fish and be like, come to my house and get banana bread.
• 1:12:39
  Mariah: Next time that's how I'm gonna sell it.
• 1:12:40
  Mariah: Listen, bitches, come get this banana bread.
• 1:12:43
  Josh: I cover some banana bread every six pounds.
• 1:12:46
  Shay: I'm making basically I do think that's cool.
• 1:12:50
  Shay: Josh, you talk about the ripple effect a lot, and I I think that can go either way.
• 1:12:54
  Shay: And that's kind of what I was hinting at earlier about personal responsibility and all of this.
• 1:12:59
  Shay: If you are not taking care of your hygiene of your nervous system, it can ripple effect in your body.
• 1:13:07
  Shay: It certainly can create disease.
• 1:13:09
  Shay: But if you're reacting with your loved ones and your family members, you're always flying off the handle.
• 1:13:14
  Shay: You can literally spread, you called it a cancer before, but you can spread disease.
• 1:13:18
  Shay: It can go throughout generations.
• 1:13:20
  Shay: And so I think we're at a point in time now where we're all becoming aware of this and how we affect others either in a positive or a negative way.
• 1:13:29
  Shay: And so I love you talk about the ripple effect a lot and like how all of this kind of came from you having a vision of yourself being more of a positive ripple.
• 1:13:40
  Shay: And so tell us a bit about like what is the biggest impact that you have made?
• 1:13:45
  Shay: Like, how do you think that this business has impacted people or impacted you?
• 1:13:48
  Shay: Like, what is that ripple effect?
• 1:13:51
  Josh: Well, I think part of this process with all the books and the work and starting most, I always tell people, most mad, and I was one of them, if I had to put my emotions in a box of crayons, I had two crayons.
• 1:14:04
  Josh: I had like happy and angry, and that's what I was working with.
• 1:14:08
  Josh: And then my mentor was like, we need to develop a box of six and then 12, and hopefully we can get to a box of 48.
• 1:14:16
  Josh: And so emotions aren't black and white, it's not this or that.
• 1:14:20
  Josh: And I think we're faking the funk.
• 1:14:21
  Josh: Like we show up to a community thing, like, ha, bubbly, and maybe we're not bubbly.
• 1:14:25
  Josh: Um, and we don't always have to be angry.
• 1:14:28
  Josh: Um, so throughout this process of developing emotional intelligence and understanding what that is, seeing it other people, seeing it my children.
• 1:14:37
  Josh: Um I'm proud to say I'm 47 years old.
• 1:14:41
  Josh: I had three kids, I have not one time raised my voice at my children.
• 1:14:45
  Josh: And when I say that in groups, we were like, You're full of shit, I'm like, call my wife.
• 1:14:50
  Josh: Because not too long ago, they're like, Dad yelled at you the other day, and she's like, No, he didn't.
• 1:14:54
  Josh: And it's just because I remember being a child and how I felt when an adult figure projected anger or yelling at me.
• 1:15:04
  Josh: And I remember I got to like 12, and I remember just being like, You're kind of a bad human.
• 1:15:11
  Josh: But they they weren't aware.
• 1:15:13
  Josh: You know, our parents' generation were kind of like providers, they provided, and not all, but as a generalization.
• 1:15:19
  Josh: And so what I've been able to do through all my work is like be there for my kids.
• 1:15:23
  Josh: They're my homies, but I can hold like a strong masculine presence and teach them how to be a good human with my emotional intelligence that was developed through the books and these practices.
• 1:15:35
  Josh: So that's able me to show up for people, not create more conflict, be a good dad, be a better firefighter, and really hone in my craft as a coach and do things like this.
• 1:15:46
  Josh: Like, I love doing this.
• 1:15:48
  Josh: You know, this is one of my passions, talking to people and spreading these things.
• 1:15:52
  Josh: So developing an emotional intelligence, doing the hard work, developing a breath practice, and start doing ice baths to see like where you're at, how are you showing up?
• 1:16:03
  Josh: Um, because if you get in and you have to get right out with a coach, you know that you're really inflamed.
• 1:16:09
  Josh: Um, and we have to start reverse engineering to peel back so that we can start healing our our inner selves.
• 1:16:16
  Shay: Really 10 baby steps.
• 1:16:21
  Mariah: They all add up, baby.
• 1:16:22
  Mariah: Everything's so interconnected, too, right?
• 1:16:24
  Mariah: Like everything.
• 1:16:26
  Mariah: I feel like we could go off on 47 different tangents here.
• 1:16:29
  Shay: Oh god, yeah.
• 1:16:30
  Shay: I want to yell about being busy, but I've done that on the podcast before.
• 1:16:33
  Shay: But just know that I think busy is how we all hide behind concept fight or flight.
• 1:16:38
  Shay: I what's the positive alternate to busy?
• 1:16:41
  Josh: I've been trying to say um very productive.
• 1:16:45
  Josh: And then I'll give an example.
• 1:16:47
  Josh: Or like what I'll ask people is what's lightning on fire right now?
• 1:16:51
  Josh: Yeah.
• 1:16:51
  Josh: Or what are you working on that excites you this year?
• 1:16:54
  Josh: Or something like that.
• 1:16:55
  Josh: So I don't get that stereotypical, oh, busier, busier is busy, you know, kids.
• 1:17:00
  Josh: Whoa.
• 1:17:01
  Josh: So I try to ask better questions to get more out of people.
• 1:17:04
  Josh: I love um, and then you'll see what you get.
• 1:17:07
  Josh: Some people are not having it and they just want to stay busy and move on.
• 1:17:11
  Josh: And then other people that are there are like, oh, I'm going to the rim to rim to rim.
• 1:17:16
  Josh: I did this.
• 1:17:17
  Josh: Oh, really?
• 1:17:18
  Josh: And that starts a really cool conversation.
• 1:17:20
  Shay: Yeah.
• 1:17:20
  Shay: Yeah.
• 1:17:21
  Shay: I like that.
• 1:17:22
  Shay: I think people hide behind busy.
• 1:17:24
  Shay: And I love asking more intentional questions.
• 1:17:27
  Shay: And you actually brought up a really good segue to our final question.
• 1:17:31
  Shay: I'm curious, Josh.
• 1:17:32
  Shay: Like, you are such a good example of a curious person.
• 1:17:35
  Shay: You were noticing things about yourself.
• 1:17:38
  Shay: You found a practice, you noticed that we have an underserved community, you kind of put your own spin on it, and now you've been spreading that practice in our community and even broader.
• 1:17:48
  Shay: I think of you as a curious person.
• 1:17:50
  Shay: And so I am curious myself.
• 1:17:53
  Shay: What is sparking your modern curiosity?
• 1:17:56
  Shay: Like today, what are you going down rabbit holes about?
• 1:17:59
  Shay: What are you curious about?
• 1:18:00
  Shay: What are you exploring?
• 1:18:03
  Josh: Well, this topic is never ending.
• 1:18:05
  Josh: Um, so Andre Huberman just had a new book come out called The Protocols for Human Beings, and it's 800 pages.
• 1:18:12
  Josh: So that's kind of what I'm on now.
• 1:18:14
  Josh: Wow.
• 1:18:14
  Josh: Um, it took him eight years to write.
• 1:18:16
  Josh: It's fascinating.
• 1:18:17
  Josh: I've listened to them for a long time, and it's meant to be like read straight through, or you can flip through like the anxiety stress chapter and kind of use that.
• 1:18:26
  Josh: So it's meant to be like a textbook, but you can also reference it for the things you need.
• 1:18:31
  Josh: So right now I have way too many like little post-it flaps uh to reference to go back, and I'm inputting that to my coaching because it's all the most up-to-date science.
• 1:18:41
  Josh: Um, so that may be very nerdy, but this is what I love reading about and talking about because I want to figure out why I'm so fucked up.
• 1:18:49
  Josh: Yeah.
• 1:18:50
  Josh: You know, that's really what you got to do.
• 1:18:52
  Josh: You got to get curious and why am I this way?
• 1:18:54
  Josh: And study it and figure it out.
• 1:18:57
  Josh: And even if it's 20 minutes a day, you know, read about it, figure it out, talk to your fame mic.
• 1:19:02
  Josh: Um, so so that's it.
• 1:19:04
  Josh: Just honing it.
• 1:19:05
  Shay: Is there any like one piece of thing that you've learned from that that you were surprised by or you didn't know before?
• 1:19:11
  Josh: From the book?
• 1:19:12
  Shay: Yeah.
• 1:19:13
  Josh: Um, yeah, so far there's a really good chapter on cognitive decline.
• 1:19:17
  Josh: So I have a really good friend whose dad just got diagnosed with dementia, and there's a really good um chapter on 40 megahertz by Noral Beats, lesson two with two headphones, can blunt and reverse cognitive decline.
• 1:19:32
  Josh: So I'm telling everybody I know about that because you can get that for free.
• 1:19:36
  Josh: You can go to Spotify, enter 40 megahertz, put in your ears, and like, why not play with that?
• 1:19:42
  Josh: So I'm gonna start inputting that in my meditation practice um just to see.
• 1:19:47
  Josh: Um, so that's been the most fascinating.
• 1:19:50
  Josh: I'm like, why is that on the news?
• 1:19:52
  Shay: Yeah.
• 1:19:53
  Josh: Like that's a huge problem.
• 1:19:54
  Shay: I'll I feel that way about all this stuff.
• 1:19:56
  Shay: How come I've never heard of this before?
• 1:19:58
  Josh: Yeah, but it's because they can't patent 40 megahertz.
• 1:20:00
  Josh: Right.
• 1:20:01
  Josh: Um, so that's what I'm really passionate about and telling everybody I know because I know a half dozen people whose families are affected by this.
• 1:20:08
  Josh: Um, so I just told her that and hopefully hearing the story about it.
• 1:20:12
  Josh: That's been the coolest part so far.
• 1:20:14
  Josh: Everything else with the contrast and the breath work, I I already kind of knew.
• 1:20:18
  Josh: It's good to get reinforced by an actual scientist being barbered.
• 1:20:23
  Shay: Yeah, everything I'm doing.
• 1:20:23
  Shay: Grounding this stuff in data is powerful.
• 1:20:25
  Shay: Everything I'm doing, or else people say this is too woo.
• 1:20:28
  Josh: It's still backed by science.
• 1:20:29
  Shay: Yeah.
• 1:20:29
  Josh: Um, my favorite story in the beginning was my wife.
• 1:20:32
  Josh: So I always had a tub that was really cold, two tubs that were like 33 degrees.
• 1:20:36
  Josh: And my wife came and she's like, I am not getting in that tub again.
• 1:20:40
  Josh: Can you make one warmer?
• 1:20:41
  Josh: And so, six, seven years ago, I started making a tub that was like 4550.
• 1:20:46
  Josh: And just in the last year, some really good research came out that women don't meet as cold as a tub.
• 1:20:52
  Josh: Right.
• 1:20:52
  Josh: And so I always coach, weird, that a woman was more intuitive with their body.
• 1:20:56
  Josh: And now there's science that women, especially perimenopausal women, postnatal, they don't meet 33 degrees.
• 1:21:03
  Josh: So we've always had it, and now there's like science-based research that women 45 to 50 get very similar benefits.
• 1:21:10
  Josh: Amazing.
• 1:21:11
  Josh: Um, and I love saying that because I don't know everything, and I love bragging my wife that like she knew her body, and that's the tub that she'll do.
• 1:21:19
  Josh: Um, so it's really cool to teach women that like you don't have to do the 33.
• 1:21:24
  Josh: Now, what happens is women come and they're like, I want to try it because they want to do the hard thing.
• 1:21:29
  Josh: So they'll do the 45 tub, and then they're gonna try the other one.
• 1:21:33
  Josh: And like, whoa, you're right.
• 1:21:34
  Josh: This is way different.
• 1:21:36
  Josh: Like it's a very different stimulus.
• 1:21:38
  Josh: Like that 15 degrees is a muller.
• 1:21:40
  Josh: Um, but most of them want to try it just because they're there and they want to try that hard thing.
• 1:21:46
  Josh: Um, and that's been really cool.
• 1:21:48
  Josh: I don't know if I've ever told you, but the first two years, 99% of the people that came to my events were women.
• 1:21:54
  Josh: I've heard you say that on different podcasts.
• 1:21:55
  Josh: We keep and my wife was like, What is going on?
• 1:21:58
  Josh: It's all like only women.
• 1:22:00
  Josh: It's like, I don't know, Money.
• 1:22:02
  Josh: And then a couple big podcasters started talking about it, and now it's about 50-50.
• 1:22:06
  Josh: But for two years, it was almost exclusively women, which is fascinating.
• 1:22:12
  Shay: So, Mariah, did you hear that basically when Joe Rogan started talking about cold plunging?
• 1:22:16
  Shay: He his class dynamic changed from like all women to like 50-50.
• 1:22:20
  Shay: What do you think that is?
• 1:22:22
  Josh: I think because that's what I'm trying to do.
• 1:22:24
  Josh: Men need to hear and model.
• 1:22:26
  Josh: But the biggest thing, and I always coach this, is women have children.
• 1:22:30
  Josh: Women do the hardest thing you can do on the planet, which is birth another human being and carry it for nine months.
• 1:22:37
  Josh: They don't really care about optics.
• 1:22:38
  Josh: You guys will hear something and do it because you want to do it and that benefits you.
• 1:22:43
  Josh: Where a man will get like, oh, well, I look like this in the ice bath.
• 1:22:46
  Josh: What if I'm not doing it right?
• 1:22:47
  Josh: And they get very ego in their head about something.
• 1:22:50
  Josh: Or if women have read about it and they know it's gonna help whatever their thing is, that they're gonna come do it and not give a fuck.
• 1:22:57
  Josh: And that's what I love about women.
• 1:22:58
  Josh: They're fearless, they are strong.
• 1:23:01
  Josh: Um, and it was just very funny to see that shift.
• 1:23:04
  Josh: It's like, what is going on?
• 1:23:07
  Josh: You need a podcast to give me permission to come.
• 1:23:10
  Mariah: Yeah, I feel like men need a little bit more data and like something to validate maybe something where women, it's like we're naturally typically a little bit more intuitive.
• 1:23:22
  Mariah: So we're like, oh yeah, if that sounds fun, or like that sounds cool, like cool, I'll do it.
• 1:23:26
  Mariah: But like my husband is like, yeah, but like, why am I going to like why would I do it?
• 1:23:31
  Mariah: And I'm like, Me, because it feels fun.
• 1:23:34
  Mariah: And he's like, What is the benefit?
• 1:23:39
  Mariah: You almost want to see like the numbers and the data, and just like something that supports it.
• 1:23:43
  Mariah: So maybe that's why is because like the podcast kind of served that on an empty platter instead of just like randomly hearing about it, or maybe like the dudes were hearing it from their wives, and they're just like, Okay, girl, that sounds great for you.
• 1:23:57
  Mariah: I love this for you.
• 1:23:58
  Mariah: So that could be something, but I I love that.
• 1:24:03
  Mariah: I feel like it all comes back to curiosity.
• 1:24:06
  Shay: Well, and there's this idea of like, why do we do this?
• 1:24:10
  Shay: I actually I was hoping that you would share one more story about your son on the airplane.
• 1:24:16
  Shay: Because to me, that is such a good example, especially now sharing like how you were raised versus how you raised your kids.
• 1:24:23
  Shay: Do you mind sharing like that story?
• 1:24:25
  Shay: Sure.
• 1:24:26
  Josh: Yeah.
• 1:24:26
  Josh: So I didn't, he grew up coming to my events.
• 1:24:29
  Josh: He was like my helper, would help me fill up the coal plunge, and we had our puppy there.
• 1:24:34
  Josh: And just to spend time with him, one and two, he grew up in the gym watching him, me and his mom work out.
• 1:24:40
  Josh: So I just I wanted him to be a part of it.
• 1:24:42
  Josh: So he had seen hundreds of breath practices at this point.
• 1:24:46
  Josh: He'd done dozens, and we're on a flight.
• 1:24:49
  Josh: I think it was like our first flight.
• 1:24:50
  Josh: We waited until they're a little bit older for flights, and we're flying to California, and we hit turbulence.
• 1:24:56
  Josh: And the kind of turbulence were like the drink cart's not coming out, like pretty bad turbulence.
• 1:25:01
  Josh: And so I look over and he's counting on his finger and he's box breathing.
• 1:25:06
  Josh: I didn't tell him to do it, just completely on his own.
• 1:25:11
  Josh: And I think at the time he was like nine, maybe even younger.
• 1:25:15
  Josh: And I just thought, wow, like these kids can change the world.
• 1:25:21
  Josh: He can regulate his emotions and his nervous system and his inner world.
• 1:25:26
  Josh: And most adults that are in charge of very big things, like countries, uh, don't have that skill set.
• 1:25:34
  Josh: Um, and that was just through absorbing, seeing it, and just normalizing it around him.
• 1:25:39
  Josh: Um, and I've seen that trickle in all kinds of things.
• 1:25:43
  Josh: Um, but to see him as a child input that throughout the day, that's made me even more passionate about teaching adults.
• 1:25:51
  Josh: Because if a child can do that and saw the benefit and knew when to input it, it's like, why?
• 1:25:56
  Josh: Well, everybody needs to be doing it.
• 1:25:57
  Josh: And to your point, it needs to be taught.
• 1:25:59
  Josh: It needs to be taught in schools.
• 1:26:00
  Josh: Um, physiology first is doing the good work.
• 1:26:03
  Josh: He's got a great page.
• 1:26:04
  Josh: He's really pushing to get this stuff put in schools.
• 1:26:07
  Josh: Um, but yeah, thank you for bringing up that story.
• 1:26:10
  Josh: I love bragging on him.
• 1:26:11
  Shay: Well, I think it's so cool because this is why we do this, right?
• 1:26:14
  Shay: It's to shift what we thought we were and what previous generations have told us, how we react, how we respond to things.
• 1:26:21
  Shay: No, we know better, we're doing better.
• 1:26:23
  Shay: And then to see that, you didn't even have to prompt him.
• 1:26:25
  Shay: You know, he's just been around you observing you, and he did it on his own.
• 1:26:29
  Shay: I'm just like, I've got full goosebumps.
• 1:26:31
  Shay: Like, that's such a cool story.
• 1:26:33
  Shay: And I think it it really gets at like, why give a shit about any of this?
• 1:26:36
  Shay: You know, and uh it it's a really good metaphor.
• 1:26:39
  Shay: So thank you for sharing all of that with us.
• 1:26:41
  Josh: Yeah.
• 1:26:41
  Josh: Real quick, the coolest part of that, him doing it, I was practicing co-regulation and I let him do it.
• 1:26:48
  Josh: Instead of like stopping him, are you okay?
• 1:26:50
  Josh: I let him have his moment, I let him breathe out of it.
• 1:26:53
  Josh: And then when he was done and kind of opened his eyes, I was like, What'd you do there?
• 1:26:58
  Josh: And then he explained it to me.
• 1:27:00
  Josh: And I was like, Oh man, that is so cool.
• 1:27:04
  Shay: Totally thing.
• 1:27:06
  Mariah: Yeah, that's really dude.
• 1:27:08
  Mariah: Kids are so fucking cool.
• 1:27:09
  Mariah: I love kids, and it's just like it's that reminder of, and I'm sure we've all heard this where it's like, uh, follow what I say, not what I do.
• 1:27:17
  Mariah: And it's like, nah, these kids are looking at what we're doing on the day-to-day and like the routine and how we're showing up and who we are.
• 1:27:26
  Mariah: Our kids see us for exactly who we are, which I think could be absolutely horrifying.
• 1:27:35
  Mariah: And it can make you really, really proud.
• 1:27:38
  Mariah: So I love that example.
• 1:27:40
  Mariah: Um, okay, we are running out of time here, but Josh, if people are interested in like what you got going on, can you just let them know like where they can find you, where they can connect with you, and like all of all of that fun stuff?
• 1:27:53
  Josh: Yeah, Josh Hildebrand or coach Josh Hildebrand on Instagram, uh, breath and exposure stl on Instagram.
• 1:28:01
  Josh: Breath and Exposure STL.com is our website.
• 1:28:04
  Josh: Um, like I said, we're gonna start getting into coaching online because uh I want to help as most pe as much people as possible.
• 1:28:10
  Josh: So um if you're in or near St.
• 1:28:13
  Josh: Louis, come through.
• 1:28:14
  Josh: And if not, hit us up and uh we'll get you on the breathing practice way.
• 1:28:20
  Shay: I want to plug two things for Josh.
• 1:28:22
  Shay: So he mentioned a retreat.
• 1:28:23
  Shay: I don't know if it will keep happening, but you should keep an eye out.
• 1:28:26
  Shay: Next year, there may be another breath and exposure retreat, which happens at Samantha's property out at Lost Hill Lake.
• 1:28:32
  Shay: It is an insane, recharging, re-life-giving experience.
• 1:28:37
  Shay: It's such a cool thing, and I hope they keep doing it.
• 1:28:39
  Shay: So if you're ever willing to travel to St.
• 1:28:41
  Shay: Louis, that would be an awesome time to come in.
• 1:28:44
  Shay: And I really encourage you guys to follow Josh, watch his stories.
• 1:28:47
  Shay: If you guys have been curious about some of the things he shared, I enjoy what he shares on social media.
• 1:28:53
  Shay: You're sharing a little bit of the science.
• 1:28:55
  Shay: He's sharing a little bit of these tests and practices.
• 1:28:58
  Shay: It's all like bite size and it's really interesting.
• 1:29:01
  Shay: It's always piquing my curiosity.
• 1:29:03
  Shay: So I appreciate the content that you are putting out in the world.
• 1:29:06
  Shay: And I really encourage you guys to give him a follow if you want to learn more about this stuff.
• 1:29:10
  Mariah: And we will make sure that all of the links are in the episode show notes below.
• 1:29:15
  Mariah: But I think we're ready to close this episode down.
• 1:29:18
  Mariah: So remember, friends, that you have the power to create whatever the fuck you want.
• 1:29:22
  Mariah: Follow the nudge, ask questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
• 1:29:27
  Mariah: We'll see you in the next episode.