Latest / The Daily Sarcast / September 22nd, 2026: The Network Boycott, Apple Skips iPhone 19 Due To Poor Planning And My Yom Kippur

Transcript

September 22nd, 2026: The Network Boycott, Apple Skips iPhone 19 Due To Poor Planning And My Yom Kippur · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
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  I'm going to be really honest. We live in a Pornhub world. Fox host Rachel Campas-Duffy.
• 1:01
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
• 1:06
  I'm Lindsay Vernick, and today is September 22nd, 2026.
• 1:10
  I hope you enjoyed your three-day weekend. And if you didn't get a three-day
• 1:15
  weekend, I hope you had a nice Monday.
• 1:19
  In real news, so as you probably know, Trump banned CNN, MSN,
• 1:25
  MSNOW, and Politico from coming into the White House.
• 1:28
  Because, you know, he just doesn't like the coverage and doesn't want them to come over anymore.
• 1:34
  But then, I don't know if you heard about this, but something really crazy happened after that.
• 1:39
  So CNN is one of the five networks that rotates for the White House press pool.
• 1:45
  So basically, when it's a network's turn, they send in their cameras and they
• 1:49
  get their footage and then they share it with everybody else.
• 1:53
  It's kind of like splitting an Uber or just being nice, whatever works there.
• 1:58
  So yesterday, CNN was supposed to have their turn and go into the White House.
• 2:03
  But then the White House was like, no, thanks.
• 2:06
  So ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox News all said, okay, then nobody's going then.
• 2:13
  All of the networks suspended going into the White House rather than replacing CNN.
• 2:19
  So there were no cameras following Trump to his events yesterday.
• 2:23
  And obviously, CNN, MSNOW, and Politico sued Trump for banning them from the
• 2:30
  White House because that violates their First Amendment rights.
• 2:34
  But the White House was like, this isn't suppressing the news.
• 2:38
  And Trump was like, I just want to stop fake news. And J.D. Vance is saying
• 2:43
  that they're just simply refusing to give outlets special access if they engage in propaganda.
• 2:50
  Okay, like, sorry that you hate Democrats. So we'll see how long this one lasts.
• 2:57
  And in technology news, Apple just released the iPhone 18.
• 3:02
  So now the internet is already leaking information about the iPhone 20,
• 3:05
  which is two years from now.
• 3:08
  So yeah, wait, I know you're confused. You're like, wait, the iPhone 20? What about iPhone 19?
• 3:13
  But 2027 works the 20th anniversary of the iPhone.
• 3:19
  And I guess none of the executives kind of timed that out correctly.
• 3:23
  So now they just have to skip 19 altogether.
• 3:26
  So the iPhone 20 Pro is going to have a little bit larger, higher res display,
• 3:32
  but the Pro Max is also going to get an even bigger screen.
• 3:36
  So at which point does the iPhone and the Mac literally have the same size screen?
• 3:43
  There's also talk of putting the selfie camera underneath the screen,
• 3:48
  which means that it would just be like less stuff interrupting your screen.
• 3:53
  So basically, Apple's trying to make the entire front of the phone one giant piece of glass.
• 3:58
  I mean, nothing has ever gone wrong when people put together expensive electronics
• 4:03
  with extremely breakable glass.
• 4:05
  So, yeah, I mean, it's a typical day in this country where we're all talking
• 4:10
  about the iPhone 20 in two years, while people are still waiting for their iPhone 18.
• 4:15
  And speaking of things that are going extremely well, now AI experts are asking,
• 4:21
  what if this thing kills literally all of us?
• 4:24
  So they're thinking that if AI gets smarter and smarter, they will probably be smarter than humans.
• 4:32
  And then they figure out how to improve itself and then somehow decide that
• 4:36
  humans are just getting in the way and just kill us all.
• 4:39
  There's this famous experiment and it imagines giving an AI the completely harmless
• 4:45
  task of making paperclips, right?
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  So then the AI becomes super intelligent and eventually decides the most efficient
• 4:52
  way to make paperclips is to eliminate humanity and turn the planet into one
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  giant paperclip factory.
• 4:58
  Which doesn't mean that AI is smart at all then. So we definitely could become extinct by AI.
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  But also, there's so many different things that could happen that can't really
• 5:11
  be tested or changed. So we really don't know if this could happen or not.
• 5:16
  As always they're just rumors and speculation on something that we really don't know anything about,
• 5:23
  but what else is new welcome to the news of 2026 but also this was always the
• 5:29
  news nobody ever knows what's ever gonna happen except for psychics they know
• 5:34
  which you might not believe but they do they really do know,
• 5:38
  in lindsay life yesterday was yom kippur right so you're like supposed to fast
• 5:44
  so God will forgive you for all your sins.
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  And, like, I typically don't fast because I just think that God is not going to forgive me anyway.
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  But I ended up fasting on accident because I, like, didn't feel well and I didn't
• 5:59
  end up eating anything until dinner.
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  And I would love to say I had this, like, beautiful spiritual experience where
• 6:05
  I, like, reflected on my life and, like, atoned for all my sins and,
• 6:08
  like, really thought deeply. But, like, I just slept most of the day and watch Netflix.
• 6:13
  Lindsay lessons, a lesson by Lindsay. Stop making things harder than they need to be.
• 6:19
  Like I have this tendency to make every little tiny decision into like a full production.
• 6:25
  When I was in Maui, I had to decide whether to change my flight because of the
• 6:29
  big hurricane that was coming. I wanted to stay for like an extra day or two.
• 6:33
  I literally spent so long going back and forth. Like everyone on my team knew
• 6:37
  they literally had to vote if I should say or not.
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  I kept going back and forth. I looked at flights. I kept second-guessing myself,
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  and everyone was like, you should not stay. There's a hurricane coming,
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  but I was like, I want to stay. So I kept overthinking everything,
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  and then eventually I picked a flight.
• 6:54
  And that is all to say, sometimes you don't need to turn every decision into
• 7:00
  like a full team vote for your whole life.
• 7:04
  Cooking tip of the day buy the pre-chopped onions your time is worth more than the onion
• 7:10
  feedback comments questions a nice jewish boy looking for a date email me at
• 7:14
  lindsey at the daily circus.com thanks so much for listening to this one today
• 7:18
  it was a little bit weird sorry i don't feel well but i'll be back again tomorrow.