Latest / SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions / Why stress is making weight loss so much harder right now
Transcript
- 0:40Hey sis, do you find yourself in a nasty cycle of being motivated to start just
- 0:46to fall off the wagon by midweek?
- 0:48Overwhelm is such a heavy thing amongst women right now and there could be many causes.
- 0:53The noise in the weight loss space or inconsistency in your actions that cause
- 0:58feelings of guilt or information overload or just the burdens that we hold with having to juggle it all.
- 1:06Regardless, there's a better way, and I want to show you how.
- 1:10I'm offering a free week dedicated to helping you find peace and clarity in
- 1:15your weight loss by showing you real-life strategies that have helped me make
- 1:20each day more manageable,
- 1:22in return allowing me to actually accomplish the things I set out to accomplish
- 1:26without feeling like I'm killing myself trying.
- 1:30Consistency over Chaos Week starts March 23rd, and it is totally free.
- 1:36Head over to perfectfitnutrition.com backslash C over C to get in with us.
- 1:45The overwhelm is not going to magically stop.
- 1:49At your season of life, the only way to fix this struggle is by taking control
- 1:53of it yourself, and I want to show you how.
- 1:56So come join us on March 23rd. There's more information in this podcast description.
- 2:03All right, y'all, I'm noticing so many women struggling in their weight loss lately for this reason.
- 2:09Now, I have been in the weight loss space for a long time, and this has always
- 2:13been like an issue, right?
- 2:15Stress and weight loss has always been an issue.
- 2:18Anxiety around your actions in weight loss has always been an issue,
- 2:22but I am noticing it now more than ever before.
- 2:27And the reason for this struggle is just ongoing anxiety, like survival mode, right?
- 2:34Fight or flight, zero chill. You know, we are all just on the go.
- 2:38We have too many things to do, not enough time in the day.
- 2:41And y'all, I just want to talk today about how.
- 2:46Trying to lose weight from a state of dysregulation or a state of constant stress
- 2:52is a hundred times harder than otherwise.
- 2:55So today we're going to talk about, number one, why it's harder to lose when
- 3:00you're in this state, and number two, how to get out of it so that you can see
- 3:05your weight loss through, so that you can feel the success that you so desire to feel.
- 3:10So we're just going to hop on into it. So I want to talk about the why first,
- 3:14right? Like, why is it harder for you to lose weight when you are in a constantly
- 3:21stressed or like anxious state?
- 3:23And, you know, anxiety, we use that. I use that word a lot here if you're new.
- 3:28But anxiety can sometimes we can magnify what it what it means.
- 3:34Like we think, oh, I'm not an anxious person.
- 3:36But then you go throughout your day, very scattered, very, you know,
- 3:42urgent, then stop, then, you know, worried, then not, you know, like that.
- 3:46There are so many different definitions of anxiety and how we may think anxiety
- 3:54should look versus how it can actually look in people.
- 3:57And so I want to say that right off, like, even if you don't feel like you have
- 4:01anxiety, if you do feel like you have stress, then you probably have some tendencies
- 4:05of anxiety, if that makes sense.
- 4:08So when you are stressed, or when you are anxious, okay, Your body releases cortisol.
- 4:14Cortisol is your stress hormone.
- 4:18It's normal for this to happen. We're thankful that it does.
- 4:24That cortisol is what is released when we need to slam on brakes when a car
- 4:29pulls out in front of us or go snatch up our kid before they jump off in a pool
- 4:34and don't know how to swim.
- 4:36We need that hormone.
- 4:40But with the lives most of us are living with such high demand,
- 4:44high urgency, so many things happening at once.
- 4:46Oh my gosh, these phones dinging and distracting us 24-7, right?
- 4:51We tend to see this hormone show up a lot more often than it should be, okay?
- 4:57And our body and our brain do not know the difference.
- 5:00They do not know the difference in you're constantly dinging notifications on
- 5:06your phone telling you somebody updated their Facebook status or whatever versus
- 5:11is there a bear right behind me?
- 5:14Like it is so hard to distinguish the difference as, you know,
- 5:18as a body, as a brain, okay?
- 5:21And so if we are constantly on guard, constantly ready to attack,
- 5:28constantly ready for the next thing to come around the corner,
- 5:32then our cortisol is going to be elevated and it's going to stay elevated a
- 5:37lot longer than we want it to, right?
- 5:40So a lot of us, a lot of my women listen to this or struggling with this, right?
- 5:45That elevated cortisol, okay? And so, again, let me just say here,
- 5:49like, nothing you could do better for yourself than trying to regulate that
- 5:53nervous system to bring that cortisol down, okay?
- 5:56To have it stop showing up when it is really not necessary, okay?
- 6:01But for the sake of time, we're talking about what, if we are in that state,
- 6:06which so many of us are, if we are in that state of constantly elevated cortisol,
- 6:10what it can do in regards to your weight loss, okay?
- 6:13It can increase your cravings, right? It can make you want to grab that quick
- 6:18sugary snack and almost feel like you have no control other than to do it.
- 6:23Like you're just like, I have to have, you know, this Snickers bar or whatever it is, right?
- 6:27It can also make you feel like you're hungrier.
- 6:31So either you have like a larger appetite when you eat or you feel like you
- 6:36are eating all the time, right? Right.
- 6:40Elevated cortisol can do that for you. Thank you. Thank you, cortisol, right?
- 6:44It also will promote fat storage around your belly, around that midsection,
- 6:49around the section that like we all really want to be the flattest, right?
- 6:54If you have elevated cortisol, you're going to carry fat there, okay?
- 6:57It also can increase fluid retention, okay?
- 7:02And so this, a lot of my ladies, they'll have a stressful week and I'll be like,
- 7:07don't you get on that scale?
- 7:08Do not get on that scale because even if your week was stressful and you tried
- 7:12to stay on point with your action steps, like the scale may not tell you what
- 7:17you want it to tell you because you're just holding a little bit of water, right?
- 7:21So these things, think about that.
- 7:25Think about when you have had a really good week of thinking you're eating right
- 7:29and doing well for weight loss and then you get on the scale and it's up or it hasn't changed.
- 7:34That's very defeating, right? It can make you not want to keep trying for your weight loss.
- 7:40It can make you go binge, you know, out of your emotions.
- 7:44It can make you just say, screw it. Like, I'm not going to try this anymore, right?
- 7:48Or think about trying to lose weight, but constantly fighting these like carb
- 7:54or sugar cravings that you feel like, gosh, these used to not be here.
- 7:59It used to not be so bad, right? or trying to lose weight when you are feeling hungry 24-7.
- 8:05Like these things, obviously we don't want the elevated cortisol,
- 8:09but then we definitely don't want what comes alongside of it,
- 8:12which is all of these things that are directly related to either your mindset or your consumption or,
- 8:19in regards to your weight loss, right?
- 8:23Another thing that stress or anxiety can do is it can create discomfort.
- 8:30Obviously, like if we're constantly stressed, we're not in a state of comfort.
- 8:34We're not in a state of like flow, a state of zen, a state of like,
- 8:37oh, I'm just here and I'm happy to be here, right?
- 8:39Like we're clearly not there. We're ruminating. We're reeling.
- 8:43We're thinking about it. We're stressing, you know, we're overplay,
- 8:46like playing a scenario over and over and over again in our head, right?
- 8:50When we're stressed or when we have a lot of anxiety or we're just thinking
- 8:54like, what's the next thing I have to do?
- 8:55You know, before you're even finished with the thing you're doing,
- 8:57you're like, okay, and I got to get to this next thing because I'm so stressed.
- 9:00I have so much going on, right?
- 9:02So this is, again, not a place that our brain and body likes to live comfortably.
- 9:07Like that is not how we were designed. We were not designed to be going 100
- 9:10miles an hour in our brain 24-7, right?
- 9:13But so many of us, especially us moms, we are just, We have slowly found ourselves
- 9:19adapting that way because there is so much to carry, right?
- 9:23And so when we find ourselves in that discomfort.
- 9:29Our body, because it is not the way we were designed, because it is not what
- 9:33our body or our brain wants to be doing, it is going to try to find anything
- 9:38that's not what we're doing.
- 9:39As an escape, okay? This is why a lot of the same women, I talk about this a
- 9:44lot, but this is why a lot of the same women who come to me saying,
- 9:48Constance, I'm so overwhelmed. I'm so stressed out.
- 9:50You know, I can't, I can't stick to anything.
- 9:52I've got my, my schedule's so busy. Oh my gosh, I'm in such demand at work.
- 9:58They are the same ones that also have the extremely high cell phone usage every
- 10:05single day because they are dealing with their stress at work and then trying
- 10:09to numb out with their phone.
- 10:11Dealing with their stress at home, and then trying to numb out with their phone.
- 10:14They're doing it in pockets, like two minutes here, five minutes there.
- 10:18And then at night, it's like they're real big wind down where they sit there
- 10:21and scroll for an hour. You know what I mean?
- 10:23And that is not by accident. That is because our brain is saying, we have to escape.
- 10:29I cannot live in fight or flight 24-7. We have got to escape, right?
- 10:34And so it is looking for the escape. And that's why a lot of us,
- 10:38if you pay attention, pay attention to yourself.
- 10:40If you have felt a lot of stress or a lot of anxiety, I am almost betting that
- 10:46you have either sought out more distraction this week or you actually caught
- 10:52yourself in a lot more distraction,
- 10:54meaning, you know, the scrolling or just mindless eating, right?
- 11:00Or anything, or even like even silly things. Sometimes I do this.
- 11:03I'm like, you know, there are a handful of things I know I need to get done
- 11:07today. And I'll find myself like cleaning out the pantry.
- 11:10You know, like that is not on my list of things I have to get done today.
- 11:15But I'm like, I don't want to deal with those things I do have to get done today.
- 11:19So let me find something to distract me, right?
- 11:22And so for a lot of women, food is a distraction, okay? Food is the escape.
- 11:28It makes you feel better. It gives you something to do.
- 11:33Like, you know, it increases those feel-good hormones, right, when we're eating them.
- 11:38So it provides you with that temporary relief from the overwhelm of the day, right? Right.
- 11:47And what makes it even worse, unfortunately, is that, again,
- 11:52our brain likes patterns.
- 11:53So the longer we've been doing this, the more we've been doing this,
- 11:59the more often we are going to do this, right?
- 12:03So like if you were taught as a little girl, oh, you had a bad day, let's go get ice cream.
- 12:11You know, that is a connecting point of ice cream makes us feel better.
- 12:16So when we have a bad day, we need ice cream, right?
- 12:20So if you take it back that far, you have trained your brain on this type of
- 12:26pattern, on this type of habit, okay?
- 12:29And so again, it makes it the knee-jerk reaction for how to cope, for how to handle.
- 12:36And unfortunately, right, that does not help us with our weight loss,
- 12:41especially if we are living a high stress, high anxiety lifestyle, okay?
- 12:47And so another, we're going to get to how to, you know, help with these things,
- 12:53but I want to kind of knock out the causes and how they affect us first.
- 12:58Another way that stress and anxiety can affect our weight loss is oftentimes
- 13:06when we're stressed, right, or we have anxiety, we don't sleep well,
- 13:10or we don't sleep as deep,
- 13:14or, you know, we go to bed later because we're up trying to get all the things done.
- 13:19I know I keep referring to my circadian rhythm podcast from about a year ago,
- 13:24and I'll try to link that in the description for this time just for you to refer
- 13:27back to, but it is such a good one on understanding like why that matters,
- 13:33why staying up late and then maybe even waking up later or whatever,
- 13:37why that can really affect our health overall,
- 13:40but our weight loss for sure.
- 13:43And so when we are not getting.
- 13:48Solid sleep, when our sleep is poor, whether that is from, again,
- 13:52not sleeping as long, sleeping as deep, just sleeping well in general, right?
- 13:56It affects our hunger hormones. It affects a hormone called ghrelin,
- 14:01which is our hunger, like one of our hunger signals, right?
- 14:07And that hormone is increased, meaning we truly feel hungrier, right, than otherwise.
- 14:14And it also decreases a hunger hormone called leptin.
- 14:21And leptin is in charge of telling us we're full.
- 14:24So literally just crappy sleep tells us, girl, you more hungry and you less full.
- 14:30Just that alone, just that alone. Right. And so, yeah, you're going to have
- 14:34an increase in appetite.
- 14:37Like you're going to realize, oh, man, fuller. I should have been full way later than you would.
- 14:44And it lowers your willpower. You are quite literally just not as likely to
- 14:49pass up the cupcakes at work if you got crappy sleep last night.
- 14:53Like it is what it is. And y'all, this one really breaks my heart because I
- 14:59will have clients that, you know, have like young kids or they've had,
- 15:02you know, they had a late night with their son's ball practice or ball game
- 15:07or that, you know, they didn't get in till midnight and they're so tired,
- 15:10but they've been so motivated all week.
- 15:12And then it's like they wake up that next day on you know running on four or
- 15:16five hours of sleep really tired really you know whatever and and they then
- 15:21get to work or do whatever and kind of,
- 15:25fall off the bandwagon, so to speak. And they are so hard on themselves and
- 15:31will not think about the true facts of it being, you know,
- 15:38their stress and then their crappy sleep last night.
- 15:40Like they think, oh, this is telling a story about me. This is who I am. I always fail.
- 15:46I'm always, you know, going to give in. I'm like, they immediately go to that
- 15:50terrible thinking when really it was just a bad night's sleep or a week full
- 15:55of bad night's sleep, right?
- 15:58And so it's just really important to be reminded of this and to know this,
- 16:01that no, it's not just a you thing, it's a whole body hormone thing, okay?
- 16:05And the best thing you can do for yourself is, no, ma'am, it's not to hit the
- 16:09gym after work to burn off the cupcake, right?
- 16:12That is not the best thing you can do for yourself after not going to bed till
- 16:16after midnight and being up at 5 a.m.
- 16:18Or whatever, ever go in 100 miles an hour between then and now.
- 16:23You may think that and you may feel like, oh, I'll win some sort of prize if I push through and I go.
- 16:29But actually, your body would probably be better served by you either getting
- 16:35home, getting dinner on the table a lot sooner so you can get in bed a lot sooner
- 16:38or baby, come home and take a nap during your gym time.
- 16:42Truly, truly on those nights that you just feel like you could not get in bed
- 16:48on time or you really didn't get very good sleep.
- 16:51Okay, the next thing is survival mode or stress or anxiety or whatever just
- 16:55makes it harder to think period, right?
- 16:59Like when we have a million things going through our brain, it is so hard to
- 17:05be like confident in any decision that you're getting ready to make, right?
- 17:10A lot of times, I mean, I know y'all have been there. I know I've been there
- 17:13where it's like I have to make some decisions, but I've also had a lot on my
- 17:17plate. And so sometimes the decision is made out of just the fact that I've
- 17:22got to get this decision off my plate.
- 17:24It may not even be the right one, you know, but I'm just like,
- 17:27okay, I got to stop thinking about this because I've got a million other things
- 17:31to think about right now, you know.
- 17:33And so with that being said, any decision, even an easy decision,
- 17:38can feel a hundred times harder just because we're so consumed with things in other areas, right?
- 17:46And so this obviously lowers our tolerance and it lowers our bandwidth,
- 17:52meaning we give up more easily in other areas. Okay, so like if you had a big decision at work and...
- 18:01You know, either way it goes, somebody's going to be mad at you.
- 18:05And, you know, depending on which way it goes, could be very different outcomes.
- 18:10You know, like it's a very heavy decision.
- 18:13Also, you know, you have a teenager who's dealing with a lot and you've been
- 18:17wearing a lot of her emotions or, you know, carrying a lot of that burden.
- 18:21And also, you know, your husband got a job offer and he's sitting there trying
- 18:26to discern whether he needs to take it or not.
- 18:28And you're over here, like, what's that going to do to my lifestyle?
- 18:31And, you know, all the things, right? You are a lot less likely.
- 18:37Sister, to get to the Mexican restaurant at 1.30 because you hungry because
- 18:43you had to work that late and, you know, you couldn't get away from the office.
- 18:47And now you're starving and you're going to meet your friend at the Mexican restaurant.
- 18:50You are a lot less likely to pick like the salad or, you know,
- 18:56just two soft tacos, please,
- 18:59or no chips, you know, like you're, you're a lot less likely to make those decisions
- 19:03than you would, you know, those positive nutrition and weight loss related decisions
- 19:09than you would have been if today was like, oh,
- 19:13we are living in la la land. It's been such a great day at work.
- 19:16My kids are having a great day. My husband's having a great day.
- 19:19We're all just, there's no, there's no stress. There's no burden, you know?
- 19:22And so sometimes we have women come in and they're just like,
- 19:25they are under a lot of stress, a lot of pressure, a lot is going on.
- 19:31And I'm like, what possessed you to think that this was the time to also add
- 19:36weight loss to your plate?
- 19:39You know, it can be done. It.
- 19:43But you have to not only be committed to your weight loss strategies,
- 19:49even more than that, you have to be committed to calming that system,
- 19:55to learning how to shut it down when you walk out of the office,
- 20:00to learning how to stop the distractions that will constantly interrupt you
- 20:06if you allow them, right?
- 20:08Like you have got to learn how to regulate yourself.
- 20:12If you are also going to want to try to lose weight during a season that is,
- 20:16you know, a little higher stress, right?
- 20:18And it is possible. It is possible. Okay. And so these are just,
- 20:23you know, four little areas that I, that I wanted to talk about.
- 20:26There are, there are many, many, more that we could talk about.
- 20:28You know, the connection between stress and anxiety and survival mode and fight
- 20:34or flight and then inability to stick to your weight loss is,
- 20:37oh my gosh, they are just so,
- 20:41so closely aligned. It is absolutely insane.
- 20:44But I want to talk a little bit about, because I know, I know at this point,
- 20:47if you're listening and you've heard some of these things, you're like,
- 20:49okay, yeah, that's me. That's me. That's me. You know, whatever.
- 20:52And so I want to talk about some, some ways to come up against it, right?
- 20:57Because in your irrational brain, you could be telling yourself,
- 21:02well, I just need to be more disciplined, right?
- 21:05Okay. I need to go to bed earlier because constant set I need to so that I can
- 21:08get up and work out at 5 a.m. No, no.
- 21:11Like, because that's you saying you need to be more disciplined, right?
- 21:15That is usually the first response from people. Like, they think,
- 21:20I just need to get a better schedule down.
- 21:22Or I just need to, you know, my husband needs to pick up the kids from school
- 21:25instead of me. Or I need to go into work an hour earlier and get started on my charting.
- 21:30Or, you know, but truly, it's more than that.
- 21:34You need to get to the root. Like you need to get, you need to get to a point
- 21:38of understanding why some weeks or most weeks you spiral the way you do and
- 21:44what is truly causing that.
- 21:48Okay. And like that, that could be, oh my gosh, it could be past trauma.
- 21:52It could truly be your inability to like say no, or like your,
- 21:57your obsession with people pleasing or your obsession with striving or like
- 22:03your inability to just have a quiet brain.
- 22:06Like there's a, there's a million reasons why this, this could be the case,
- 22:10but you need to get to the root. Okay.
- 22:13And so I really want to encourage you to think about that.
- 22:16Like just after you turn this podcast off today, like think about what is at
- 22:21the root of the fact that I have zero chill.
- 22:24Even when there is, you know, slower days in my life or I have,
- 22:28you know, some time to calm down, why am I always trying to find the next thing
- 22:33to stress about or worry about or think about?
- 22:36This is some deep work that I have had to do over the past several years as
- 22:39I've been working on my own, you know, regulation.
- 22:43And it's kind of wild. Like we won't dive into it today, but like,
- 22:48you know, it started from childhood from just like natural occurrences that
- 22:53happened so often that I just started to think they were normal, right?
- 22:56And then it's also blended a little bit with like people pleasing and wanting
- 23:00to perform, like wanting to feel that, you know, oh, good girl,
- 23:04you did awesome kind of praise from people.
- 23:09And that eventually turned into the inability to be still because I thought
- 23:14I had to be in motion for me to matter, for me to...
- 23:20Things done for me to be productive, right? For me to be productive,
- 23:23I had to constantly be going 100 miles an hour.
- 23:26And it is wild to just see how slowing down, taking things, you know,
- 23:31one by one, instead of having 100 tabs open at once, has actually allowed me to be more productive.
- 23:37Than ever before when I was, you know, trying to multitask across all different wavelengths.
- 23:43So Anyway, here are some things that I feel like you could really benefit from.
- 23:49Okay, I've got five things here that I feel like you could really benefit from
- 23:53that would then, okay, obviously help with your stress and in turn help with
- 23:56your weight loss, right? The first one is learning to say no.
- 24:00Okay, this one hurts everybody's feelings, but learn to say no.
- 24:03And I want you to think about it real hard as you approach your day.
- 24:06You may think like, oh, I don't have a problem with that. but do you?
- 24:09Because I don't, I would have said that about myself years ago.
- 24:13Like I would say, I don't have a problem with that. I'm cool.
- 24:15I'm okay with telling people how it is.
- 24:18But that is different than being okay with saying, I could handle that, but I'm not going to.
- 24:27You know what I mean? Because again, I'm a people pleaser. I'm a striver.
- 24:30I want you to see that I can do everything.
- 24:32And so saying no to something would mean for me that, oh, you may think I can't do this, right?
- 24:38That's not it. It's just, I'm not going to, you know?
- 24:41And so learning how to say no, stop signing up for the class parties during
- 24:46your busiest week of work, you know?
- 24:49Stop saying yes to going to Sunday dinner, even though it wrecks your whole.
- 24:55Routine, your family's frustrated, nobody gets any rest because y'all have ball
- 24:59day on Saturday too, like stop saying yes to that.
- 25:03You know, like thinking about things in your weeks, months, even days,
- 25:08that if you had just said no and exchanged that pocket of time that you wasted or spent,
- 25:16you know, what kind of peace could you have found?
- 25:19What else could have been accomplished that would have felt a little more aligned
- 25:23and a little more comfortable in your body so that you weren't,
- 25:27you know, leaving Sunday dinner frustrated about what your mother-in-law said
- 25:30about your kids, whatever, you know, like,
- 25:32because you would have been in a home, girl, you would have been taking a nap
- 25:35watching, you know, Love is Blind or whatever.
- 25:38So you would have had, you know, the trickle effect, the domino effect of the
- 25:44yes sometimes is where we need to start. Okay.
- 25:49Also being intentional about reducing stress. So I've talked a lot about stressful things here today.
- 25:55Now, some things we cannot control, right?
- 26:00Like there are things in our lives that are cuckoo crazy and causing a lot of
- 26:04stress and we cannot control it.
- 26:06But there are also some things that we can stop ruminating on.
- 26:10And we like that as part of this whole thing is realizing, hey,
- 26:13we actually don't have any of the control.
- 26:15So can we just release the control and release the obsession over the topic
- 26:20that we, again, have no control over, right?
- 26:24A lot of times I notice people's stress is really just them obsessing over something
- 26:29that, again, is just a wait and see kind of thing. And it sucks and it's not
- 26:33fair and we don't like it.
- 26:35But could you just, at the retreat, I told our ladies, because,
- 26:39When we were at the retreat, we were there during a weekend where there was bad weather.
- 26:44And so everybody was a little nervous about ice on the roads and things like this getting home.
- 26:48And so when we, I mean, we had people obviously watching the weather.
- 26:52And so it was nothing for our ladies that had done all this,
- 26:56you know, paid this money, taken this time off, you know, gotten their kids situated.
- 26:59You know, they come to this retreat to fill their cups.
- 27:03They did not need to be worrying about the weather, you know, like that.
- 27:06We had people for that, you know. And so I would tell them constantly,
- 27:10yes, the weather could go bad.
- 27:14We could, you know, get ice on the roads. Like we could, you know,
- 27:17have to end this thing early, which we did.
- 27:21But worrying about it now when the weather is two days away from now is not going to help us.
- 27:26Sitting here checking the weather every hour, hoping that you get to figure out what is coming.
- 27:31First of all, you're not going to. Okay. And second of all, all it's going to
- 27:35do is distract you and ruin you from this moment.
- 27:39Okay. So can you take that worry, that lack of control, that,
- 27:44you know, a little bit of fear, I'm sure.
- 27:46Can you take it and can you put it up on the top shelf?
- 27:50It's still there. It is still something that we can, you know,
- 27:54revisit and come back to.
- 27:57But we don't have to hold it this entire time that we are at this retreat because
- 28:02it does nothing for us except wreck our body and wreck our brains.
- 28:07Okay, so can we put some of these stressors in your lives on the shelf?
- 28:13Again, not like craziest stuff, like not, I mean, not craziest stuff,
- 28:17but just like I've heard a lot of my current clients, like they're debating
- 28:21whether their children need to be medicated for ADHD, right?
- 28:25Or should they move schools for their children? Or, you know,
- 28:29it is, oh, we just had cheer trials.
- 28:31Like, is my daughter going to make cheer trials with the rest of her friends?
- 28:34Like just stuff like this that is, again, not into the world kind of things,
- 28:38but they are stressors that kind of ruminate inside of us if we let them.
- 28:44And the thing is, is we're not going to know. We are not going to know if your
- 28:48daughter's going to make the cheer team until we get the names of the people
- 28:51that made the cheer team, right?
- 28:53And so there is absolutely no benefit to sitting there and letting it consume
- 28:58your brain. So can you just put it on the shelf for now, right?
- 29:02So thinking about things in your day-to-day, in your weeks to come,
- 29:05like, yes, I acknowledge that this is a stressor.
- 29:08I acknowledge that I don't love this information or this activity that I have
- 29:13to do or, you This decision that's coming my way, I do not like it.
- 29:19I acknowledge that I do not like it, but I'm going to put it up on the shelf,
- 29:22so that it reduces my overall stress as I continue about my day,
- 29:27probably facing more stressors, right?
- 29:30Another thing you can do is, again, be intentional with your sleep.
- 29:34And y'all, I know this is easier said than done, but sometimes it's not.
- 29:38Sometimes you could really be getting to sleep sooner, but you were choosing
- 29:42to take that phone to bed with you, okay?
- 29:44You were choosing to stay up late and read that book, okay?
- 29:48You were choosing to, you know, press play on that next episode, right?
- 29:52So just being intentional with that, treating your sleep as sacred because it is.
- 29:58If you continue days upon days upon weeks upon weeks upon months upon years
- 30:05to have a crappy sleep pattern,
- 30:08and I'm talking from the time you are winding down to get ready to get into
- 30:14the bed to even how you sleep, right?
- 30:16Like do you sleep with the TV on? Is there lights on? You know,
- 30:19Like all the way till you wake up the next morning.
- 30:22Like if that is a consistent crappy cycle, then no wonder you have hormone issues,
- 30:30you know, health issues, like continuous sleep issues.
- 30:34Like we have got to get the good sleep.
- 30:39And so, yes, I know there are some of us, we can't, we can't control it.
- 30:43Like your babies wake you up, you know, you're, you got hot flashes,
- 30:46you're waking up in the middle of the night. Like, I know all this, but...
- 30:50Can you be more intentional and treat it as something sacred and just see what happens, right?
- 30:57Because that resting state, even before you fall into sleep, matters.
- 31:02And if you are looking at a screen at 11.05 and expecting yourself to fall into
- 31:09this deep, peaceful sleep by 11.15, baby, it ain't happening.
- 31:14Your body has got to wind down. You have got to give it what it needs to get
- 31:19into that, you know, intentional deep sleep.
- 31:23Another one that, I mean, y'all will hear me talk about this till the cows come
- 31:26home, but it's to learn how to regulate your nervous system.
- 31:29Quite literally has changed my life. I mean, 100%.
- 31:33We will talk a little bit about this in the consistency over chaos week.
- 31:38There are so many different routes, so many different avenues.
- 31:41And like I talked about it here where like the first one is to just breathe.
- 31:44Like when you are in the midst of the stressful, anxiety, overwhelming state,
- 31:49like the worst thing you can do is just like freak out, right?
- 31:52The best thing you can do is step away and take a few deep breaths, right?
- 31:56And so really, again, making that intentional as well.
- 32:00Like what can I do to help regulate my nervous system?
- 32:04Like what am I willing to do and try to implement day by day?
- 32:08And can I show up with that consistently and see what happens?
- 32:12It's not going to be an overnight thing.
- 32:14It's not like Tylenol. Like you take it and then all of a sudden you feel better, right?
- 32:18I take a few deep breaths and then all of a sudden I'm magically healed. Like, no, that's not it.
- 32:24But you are retraining your entire system for its way of response, right?
- 32:31In these situations so that you get to look back a year from now,
- 32:33just the way that I do currently get to look back and say, oh my God,
- 32:38the way I handled this situation would have been completely different a year ago.
- 32:42It is absolutely insane that I'm like comfortable, cool, and calm right now.
- 32:48You know, like that's the win. You build upon those practices until you were
- 32:52able to look back and see how you've become such a new and different person,
- 32:57right, in how you handle stress and anxiety.
- 33:00And then the last one is simply slow down. And again, this is one of those things
- 33:04that also relates back to that nervous system.
- 33:06I think it's so funny. It's so funny.
- 33:10Like around here, y'all, I used to just be, and I still am sometimes,
- 33:13don't get me wrong, but I used to just buzz all the time.
- 33:17Like I would be going a hundred miles an hour, like just get out of my way.
- 33:21I'm trying to do the dishes. I'm trying to fold the laundry.
- 33:23I'm trying to cook dinner.
- 33:24I'm trying to answer this text, like I was just going so fast inside my brain
- 33:31and inside my body, right?
- 33:34And so it's so funny how now, sometimes I just know that Jess is like, what you doing?
- 33:42You know, because I just will just like wander around, like I'll just meander,
- 33:46you know, and it's not that I have less to do.
- 33:49It's not that I have less on my plate, right? It is that I'm so freaking intentional
- 33:55about moving slower physically and mentally.
- 34:01I have just noticed that if I let my legs move slower, right,
- 34:06if I am more intentional about moving.
- 34:09My, my every move, then my brain also slows down. And let me tell you where
- 34:14this really, really struck with me.
- 34:17And that was, I guess it was about this springtime or maybe summertime last year.
- 34:23Y'all, when I washed the dishes, I washed them like a bat out of hell. Okay.
- 34:30So I would like scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, rinse,
- 34:34rinse, pour, rinse, rinse, Like I was just going a hundred miles an hour doing the dishes.
- 34:39And in a matter of, I must have been doing like recipe remake preparation.
- 34:47I feel like I had something else going on. It was just like several weeks of
- 34:53a lot of cooking and a lot of prepping.
- 34:57I cut my finger with our Cutco knives multiple times.
- 35:03And I mean multiple times. Like one time I probably needed stitches.
- 35:07I had a girlfriend who gave me like some tape to like tape my finger up,
- 35:11like, or glue, sorry, glue to glue my finger up. Like, I mean, multiple times.
- 35:16It wasn't just like a little cut. It was like gashed open, blood gushing.
- 35:23And it got to the point where it was happening so often that Jess was like,
- 35:28I do not want you touching knives. Yeah.
- 35:33I do not want you touching knives, you know.
- 35:37If you need chicken cut, let me know. If you need your vegetables cut, let me know.
- 35:42And this was over a couple months, you know,
- 35:45where he at night would make me let him cut the things because I had gotten
- 35:51so bad about cutting so fast and then also trying to hand wash those knives
- 35:56so fast that I was cutting my fingers left and right, okay?
- 35:59And so something, because I was also on my like, you know, nervous system journey at that point.
- 36:06And so one day I just kind of connected the two and I'm like,
- 36:09oh my gosh, like here I am trying to find so much peace internally,
- 36:14but externally I'm moving so ridiculously fast that I am truly injuring myself.
- 36:21And it was just such a light bulb moment for me. And so ever since then,
- 36:25I am so intentional about,
- 36:28again, trying to externally move slower so that internally, I don't feel like
- 36:35I have to catch up, if that makes sense.
- 36:38And it has been a life changer for me, right?
- 36:40So even in my days where like, I still have the same things on my to-do list.
- 36:44Again, I'm not telling y'all that I just dramatically like cut all these things off my to-do list.
- 36:49Yes, I said no, but I've been working on saying no for many a years at this point.
- 36:54And so it's not like everything has changed, you know?
- 36:57And so I'm actually being pregnant. I'm really curious, like,
- 37:00how is this going to look when the baby gets here?
- 37:03Because I was notorious for that with both my girls.
- 37:06I would fly around, change their diaper, put their clothes on,
- 37:08pack their diaper bag, give them some food.
- 37:10Like we just, it was, we were fast around here. And I'm like,
- 37:13what's it going to look like with this new baby?
- 37:15It better be slower, you know, so we can really soak it in.
- 37:18So anyway, slowing down.
- 37:20Okay, so thinking about that. And if that sounds like you, what can you do today that would help that?
- 37:26Can you walk from your car?
- 37:29To your office door at a slower pace. Yeah, you may be late.
- 37:34Y'all, I stay late. I stay running late everywhere I go, but it'd be okay.
- 37:3810 more seconds, you'd be okay, right?
- 37:42Can you drive in the slow lane instead of acting like you've got places to go,
- 37:47people to see, you ain't got one minute to spare, right?
- 37:50Can you be like me and slow it down cooking dinner and actually enjoy the process
- 37:55of the preparation instead of acting like you don't even have enough time to
- 37:59read all the instructions,
- 38:01you know, just thinking about how this could present to yourself today,
- 38:04right now, right now, you know, because again, it's these little changes that
- 38:09add up to be a huge shift in how you're handling your day to day.
- 38:15So anyway, I hope this episode was informative. I hope you understand a little
- 38:21bit more now, like some of you guys who are not understanding why I can't lose
- 38:25weight, but you also have very, very, you know, overwhelming and demanding lives right now.
- 38:29I hope you are able to at least connect those dots and give yourself the grace, right?
- 38:37Realize that maybe some of these other things I've mentioned today needs to
- 38:41be the focus first so that you can actually make the healthy choice at lunchtime.
- 38:47You know, like I just, it's so often overlooked in it.
- 38:51And I really wanted to kind of bring that to you guys in a whole episode today.
- 38:54So, as always, especially as we are heading into reducing that anxiety,
- 39:00reducing that stress, slowing down, you know, making our sleep sacred,
- 39:04I want to remind you guys to remember to say grace.
- 39:09Thank you for listening to today's episode of Say Grace Podcast.