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Egg Freezing Economics · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
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Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it. She's on the Money.
0:36
Speaker 3: She's on the Money.
0:57
Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on them the podcast Millennials
1:01
Speaker 2: who Want Financial Freedom. Today is Friday, which means it
1:04
Speaker 2: is time to get the team together and celebrate you
1:07
Speaker 2: our incredible She's on the Money community Today, Miss Jess
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Speaker 2: Garrici is going to be sharing some of the community's
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Speaker 2: favorite money wins. We have a new segment starting which
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Speaker 2: I am so excited about. Miss Beck say ed you
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Speaker 2: have asked for your own segment. You said, Jess gets one,
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Speaker 2: I want one. I did, and we are going to
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Speaker 2: accommodate that. So stick around and we will get to
1:29
Speaker 2: it very quickly. As always, we're going to be helping
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Speaker 2: to answer juicy money dilemma, which this week, guys, a
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Speaker 2: little bit spicy, is all about the cost of getting
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Speaker 2: your eggs frozen, which is a little bit topical at
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Speaker 2: the moment, and we're going to be unpacking something you
1:42
Speaker 2: slid into our DMS about which this week we're discussing
1:46
Speaker 2: splitting wedding costs with your partner. How have your weeks been?
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Speaker 2: My loves very good, very good, very good. Yes, Why
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Speaker 2: what happened?
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Speaker 4: Well, I'm home now. I don't know if you remember,
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Speaker 4: but last week I was house sitting.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, which is ill. It's mister Jean Parmesan.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, And so while I do enjoy living by myself,
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Speaker 4: I'm happy to be back home with my housemates and
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Speaker 4: sleeping my own bed.
2:07
Speaker 2: Are you going to get a cat?
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Speaker 5: Like?
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Speaker 2: Maybe you should? Are you? You're sold on the cat?
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Speaker 4: I'm kinda in love with the cats, and I never
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Speaker 4: thought this would happen, but no.
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Speaker 2: No, it's a slippery slope. I didn't think I was
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Speaker 2: a cat person. Then I was a cat person. Then
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Speaker 2: I had one cat. Now I have two cats. Honestly,
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Speaker 2: it just keeps going on. It's just Gricci. Before she joined,
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Speaker 2: She's on the money. How many cats did you have?
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Speaker 5: No cat?
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Speaker 2: How many cats do you now have? Two cats? Exactly?
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Speaker 2: The money effects exactly put on our producer and Alisa,
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Speaker 2: you're not on Mike. Why did you get the job
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Speaker 2: at She's on the money? Cat? Yeah, she had a
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Speaker 2: cat and we talked about the cat in the interview.
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Speaker 2: So Beck, it's actually timing stepped up. Yeah, what the
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Speaker 2: hell have I've been waiting for? I really need to
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Speaker 2: get a cat.
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Speaker 1: I don know.
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Speaker 2: It's really disappointing. I'll talk you about this or fair later.
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Speaker 2: It's just grechy. How has your week been?
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Speaker 5: It was good, nothing particularly exciting.
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Speaker 2: We had a staycation this week.
3:00
Speaker 5: Take that back.
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Speaker 2: We had a staycation.
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Speaker 5: It was very fun. We did some planning, We had
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Speaker 5: some sticky notes, it was all happening.
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Speaker 2: We probably a kilo bag of Alan slowlies. Yeah.
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Speaker 5: I got sent to office works for stick notes and
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Speaker 5: I walked out with a one point three kilo back
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Speaker 5: of Allen's. I was like, this seems like an office essential.
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Speaker 2: Yes, it was business expense obviously, so we were very
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Speaker 2: high on sugar but you know what we've done. We've
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Speaker 2: planned a lot of content for shehees on the Money,
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Speaker 2: and I am super excited. I was feeling a little
3:27
Speaker 2: bit overwhelmed with how much I was biting off, and
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Speaker 2: I said, Jess, we need to lock ourselves in a
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Speaker 2: room and get this planning stuff done. So we did,
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Speaker 2: and now I'm super excited. So that was a good week.
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Speaker 2: It's been a good week, guys, good week for a round,
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Speaker 2: but it's also been a good week for the community. So,
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Speaker 2: Miss Jess Garucci, what are your favorite money wins from
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Speaker 2: this week's thread.
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Speaker 5: My first money win this week comes from Teresa, who said,
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Speaker 5: my girlfriends and I have been entering lots of insta
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Speaker 5: competitions and we just won one hundred and fifty dollars
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Speaker 5: bar tab at King's Cross Distillery and their full premale
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Speaker 5: cocktail range, and I was just like money, you never
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Speaker 5: hear about people winning Instagram competitions.
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Speaker 2: You'd love to see it. We do throw a few
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Speaker 2: Instagram competitions on our socials and people literally win, So
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Speaker 2: it's money win for everybody involved.
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Speaker 5: One hundred percent at She's on my aus if you
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Speaker 5: want to four us the next My money in comes
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Speaker 5: from Page, who said, my colleagues and I just voted
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Speaker 5: to endorse our union log of claims for new Enterprise agreement,
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Speaker 5: and the pay rise for the first year we're looking
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Speaker 5: for is seven point five percent. Heck, yes, this doesn't
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Speaker 5: necessarily mean we'll achieve that, but it's a good start.
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Speaker 2: I feel like it is so important. I got canceled
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Speaker 2: this week on the internet. Well, not really canceled. I
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Speaker 2: just had a lot of people in my DMS very
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Speaker 2: angry because I made a little piece of video content
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Speaker 2: that said, if you're not getting a seven percent pay
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Speaker 2: rise this year, you're actually financially going backwards. Where is
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Speaker 2: the lie?
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Speaker 5: There is none.
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Speaker 2: Where is the lie?
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Speaker 5: Is the line the room with us right now? No,
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Speaker 5: it's not, because it doesn't exist, literally all right. My
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Speaker 5: next money in came from Chavon, who said, I learned
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Speaker 5: a great tip from a friend this week. We went
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Speaker 5: to the farm's market, which I am notorious for impulse
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Speaker 5: buying from. She went around and collected business cards from
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Speaker 5: each store that she saw things she liked that so
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Speaker 5: that she could purchase from them.
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Speaker 2: Lada, Oh, that's actually so smart and a good way
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Speaker 2: of like supporting a small business so that there's a
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Speaker 2: little bit more longevity. So like instead of just impulse
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Speaker 2: purchasing something and being like, I don't know, I just
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Speaker 2: got it at a market, you could like follow them
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Speaker 2: on socials or like, I don't know, share it with
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Speaker 2: a friend. Yeah, how good, pass it along.
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Speaker 5: You love to see it. Next money mining, it is
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Speaker 5: from Dana who said money win. Our city's zoo has
5:32
Speaker 5: free entry for kids for the month of May, so
5:33
Speaker 5: we did a family day out for Mother's Day yesterday,
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Speaker 5: glorious sunshine, free kids entry, free parking on a Sunday,
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Speaker 5: and the mothers were given a free gift of beautiful
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Speaker 5: smelling candles.
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Speaker 2: Oh how cute awesome.
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Speaker 5: As my next money mining from Alisha, who said money win.
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Speaker 5: I moved my emergency fund from an account only earning
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Speaker 5: one point nine to five percent to one earning four
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Speaker 5: point five percent interest genius.
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Speaker 2: I feel like, as much as the cost of living
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Speaker 2: has been increasing and everybody is talking about how the
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Speaker 2: cash rate is so high and our mortgages are costing more,
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Speaker 2: do you know what this actually means? Fuss little savvy savers.
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Speaker 2: The interest rate on high interest savings accounts. It's coming back, baby,
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Speaker 2: you love it. We love to see it in incredible.
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Speaker 5: My last one for this week comes from Alissa, and
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Speaker 5: I felt this in my soul. She said, money win,
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Speaker 5: emotional loss not getting picked for the Australian Taylor Swift
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Speaker 5: pre sale, and I just I'm right there with you best,
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Speaker 5: So sad, It's okay, Okay, I'm on Taylor Swift TikTok
6:32
Speaker 5: and I keep seeing girls making their cute outfits and
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Speaker 5: ryan stoning their boots and I'm like, I just want
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Speaker 5: that to be me.
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Speaker 2: We will be going to Taylor Swift. I don't even care,
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Speaker 2: like it's gonna be a thing. Becky, you're gonna come.
6:41
Speaker 2: Do you want to come to Taylor Swift?
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Speaker 4: I will come. If there are free.
6:45
Speaker 2: Tickets, go you all buy your ticket. You have to
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Speaker 2: make your costume. Okay, that's the trade off. So I'm
6:53
Speaker 2: just gonna make everybody in the team come to Taylor Swift.
6:56
Speaker 2: Nobody else in the team cares about Taylor Swift like
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Speaker 2: Jess does. I mean, I'm probably secondary to that, but
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Speaker 2: like Jess og we're going to Taylor Swift, going to care.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, I want to go to Taylor Swift and watch
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Speaker 4: Jess cry.
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Speaker 2: Probably she'll just cry like, jess is the type of
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Speaker 2: girl that, like, I don't know if this is correct
7:14
Speaker 2: or not, because I'm just hypothesizing her dream proposals to
7:18
Speaker 2: be proposed to add a Taylor Swift concept. Oh that's Jessica.
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Speaker 3: That's really coo.
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Speaker 2: Oh that too. She would absolutely say yes, if Taylor
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Speaker 2: Swift was supposed, I would be there. I'd be like,
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Speaker 2: can I be the bridesmaid? Can? I don't care what
7:32
Speaker 2: you say, jess I know you would thrive on that
7:34
Speaker 2: energy like Taylor Swift live singing or you've got proposed
7:37
Speaker 2: to She's for the girlies. She's for the girlies. All right.
7:40
Speaker 2: Usually we go to a break right here, but this
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Speaker 2: week and every week that is coming in the future,
7:45
Speaker 2: we will not be going to a break here because Beck,
7:47
Speaker 2: what are we introducing to the show?
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Speaker 4: Okay, so what I've thought about doing now is and
7:53
Speaker 4: also you know, this may change. It's not going to
7:56
Speaker 4: be a very strict sort of format. But I started
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Speaker 4: thinking this week. It was the week before paid month
8:04
Speaker 4: pay cycle, and I had eight dollars and fifty six cents,
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Speaker 4: and I thought, God, I wish there was some where
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Speaker 4: for me to find like super cheap foods or some
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Speaker 4: sort of access to like maybe some tips and tricks
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Speaker 4: and how the hell to get buy on eight dollars
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Speaker 4: fifty six? And you know, in my travels, I find
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Speaker 4: really cheap foods and I find ways to you know, money,
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Speaker 4: is it? Yeah, like instead of buying like a frank
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Speaker 4: green drink bottle, I'll find ways like do things cheaper.
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Speaker 4: So absolutely, I'm thinking of just every week telling you
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Speaker 4: guys what I did in the week to save a buck.
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Speaker 2: Yeah? Sweet? What do you want to call this segment? Like,
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Speaker 2: I mean, you pitched it to us and it was
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Speaker 2: as unhinged as that explanation, and we're like, you know what,
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Speaker 2: if you want to do that, you can do that.
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Speaker 2: We are here for it. Do we have a name
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Speaker 2: for this segment? Like is there a jingle? Is there?
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Speaker 1: Like?
8:59
Speaker 2: How are we introducing the sure so jingle is in
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Speaker 2: the works. I'm thinking of calling it broke Tips bex
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Speaker 2: broke tip, bex broke tips BBT BBT if there is
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Speaker 2: anyone listening who has a really really good broke tip.
9:11
Speaker 2: Sounds similar to a money win, but it is not.
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Speaker 2: It is In fact, it's not a money win. It's
9:15
Speaker 2: just a really good broke tip. Really good broke tip.
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Speaker 4: So you had two dollars to last year a month
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Speaker 4: and you made a work let me know, send it
9:22
Speaker 4: to either myself bechsyed on Instagram or she's on the
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Speaker 4: money at us. And in the spirit of brokeness, if
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Speaker 4: you want to make me a jingle because I'm obviously
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Speaker 4: broke to having zero budget, send it to me. You
9:34
Speaker 4: can send it me on Instagram at bechsayed that's BC
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Speaker 4: s y Ed. I would love to use that jingle
9:40
Speaker 4: if you.
9:40
Speaker 2: Want to your own jingle. Yeah, okay, like I have
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Speaker 2: a production team. You don't want to use them? No, no,
9:46
Speaker 2: you're not kidding to use them. It would be way
9:48
Speaker 2: better if it came from the community. It'd be nice.
9:50
Speaker 2: It was amazing. So we're going to do bex Broke
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Speaker 2: Tips or BBT every single week. Beck, are you going
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Speaker 2: to kick us off with like a pearler? Like, is
9:58
Speaker 2: there something that you're going to tell us that's a
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Speaker 2: good broke tip? Or you're just like eating us nearly
10:02
Speaker 2: it's coming, it's coming. Yeah, I'm just actually I'm going
10:05
Speaker 2: to beat you guys till the end of time. And okay,
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Speaker 2: you any tips, but no, I do have a really
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Speaker 2: quick one. So this week I literally did have eight
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Speaker 2: dollars and fifty six cents to last the entire week
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Speaker 2: plus the weekend.
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Speaker 4: So what I did was I went to Woolies. You
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Speaker 4: can go to our you can go to Woolies, you
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Speaker 4: can go to cheaper by miles.
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Speaker 2: Why I didn't you go to Audi It's obviously the
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Speaker 2: more cost efficient option. This is why.
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Speaker 4: Because I was on foot, I couldn't buy petrol and
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Speaker 4: literally had on foot.
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Speaker 3: I'm on foot.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, closest place with a I'll allow it this time.
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Speaker 4: Okay, So a really cheap two dollar loaf of bread,
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Speaker 4: really cheap home brand butter or margarine, and a really
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Speaker 4: cheap home brand sort of vegimile or some sort of condiment.
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Speaker 4: You're not trying to be healthy this week, you're trying
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Speaker 4: to not die.
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Speaker 2: Oh that's a good tip.
10:53
Speaker 4: You're trying to.
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Speaker 2: Be healthy, just don't die.
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Speaker 4: Yes, sorry, Unfortunately you're gonna have to throw all that
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Speaker 4: out of the window. I would love it frozen veggie
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Speaker 4: if I could, but I couldn't. They're expenditually lived off
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Speaker 4: of bread for the week. That's my broke tip of
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Speaker 4: the week. If you can't afford food, loaf of bread
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Speaker 4: will get you a long way.
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Speaker 2: That's true. How much is the cheapest loaf of bread?
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Speaker 2: Is it still like a dollars? Yeah? Well I think
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Speaker 2: I can't remember.
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Speaker 4: I think it was like a dollar fifty nine.
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Speaker 2: You see, that's a good deal. You could make toast
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Speaker 2: from that. You could make sandwiches from that. Elie, absolutely
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Speaker 2: good broke tip. Beck. I am hoping that the quality
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Speaker 2: of the broke tips does increase over time. If you
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Speaker 2: have a broke tip that you want to share with Beck,
11:35
Speaker 2: slide into her DMS and you might find it on
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Speaker 2: the show. But now we are going to a really
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Speaker 2: quick break and we are going to be covering the
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Speaker 2: cost of getting your eggs frozen and splitting wedding costs
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Speaker 2: with your partner. Up next. Welcome back, everybody.
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Speaker 5: Let's listen to this week's money dilemma.
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Speaker 1: Hi.
11:58
Speaker 2: There, have you got a money you just can't solve?
12:01
Speaker 2: The She's on the Money team is here to help.
12:04
Speaker 2: Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small,
12:07
Speaker 2: to answer your most burning money, career and life questions.
12:10
Speaker 2: To get involved, simply head to our website and leave
12:12
Speaker 2: us a short voice recording and you might just find
12:15
Speaker 2: yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to
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Speaker 2: this week's money dilemma.
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Speaker 6: Hi, she's on the money. My money dilemma is I
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Speaker 6: am looking to get my eggs frozen next month, and
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Speaker 6: I'm wondering whether that would be better for me to
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Speaker 6: put the cost onto my credit card as I don't
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Speaker 6: currently have enough money saved at the moment, or if
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Speaker 6: I should take up the option that the provider has,
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Speaker 6: which is using zip pay, would I end up paying
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Speaker 6: more over zip pay or on my credit card? Thank you?
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Speaker 2: This is such a good conversation to be having because
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Speaker 2: I feel like so many people in our community, Jess,
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Speaker 2: like we've had this conversation before. Like, if I wasn't
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Speaker 2: in a position where I was actively talking about having kids,
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Speaker 2: I think I'd go down the root of egg freezing.
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Speaker 2: Have you guys done any research into it?
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Speaker 5: Not a lot, enough to know that it's expensive, because
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Speaker 5: I'm hurshling towards thirty and everyone knows the saying it's
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Speaker 5: downhill from there in terms of your egg health, not
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Speaker 5: everything else. But it makes you think about it because
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Speaker 5: I go, I always thought I wanted kids, and now
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Speaker 5: I'm like, I don't want kids right now, But then
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Speaker 5: you go, oh, but what if I do later on?
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Speaker 5: And yeah, all of a sudden things are really complicated.
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Speaker 2: You need to keep your options open.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, And I remember I haven't done anything like extensive research,
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Speaker 5: but I did enough curseory googling to be like, that's expensive.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, it is so expensive. Beck, if you is this
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Speaker 2: something that you're interested in or something you're like, BEHM,
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Speaker 2: I think I'd consider it. But I guess.
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Speaker 4: I do have a friend that froz or eggs and
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Speaker 4: she said it was very expensive. So I just know realistically,
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Speaker 4: I'll probably never be able to afford it. But I
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Speaker 4: also don't mind too much whether I.
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Speaker 2: Do or do not have children. Yeah, that's fair. I'm
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Speaker 2: not too fussed. That's fair. So if we look into it,
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Speaker 2: it's an elective surgery, right, It's an elective process, which
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Speaker 2: means there are going to be lots of out of
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Speaker 2: pocket costs. The average cost for egg freezing is between
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Speaker 2: four and five thousand dollars for an initial cycle, before
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Speaker 2: medication and storage fees and a whole heap of other stuff.
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Speaker 2: And the thing about that is going into that process.
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Speaker 2: I think a lot of people assume that one round
14:17
Speaker 2: will be enough. I actually have a few friends who
14:19
Speaker 2: have gone through this process and they actually had to
14:21
Speaker 2: do two or three rounds because what they didn't realize
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Speaker 2: is they had low egg count or like the quality
14:26
Speaker 2: wasn't good and they needed to do it again. The
14:28
Speaker 2: process is actually very very similar to an IVF process,
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Speaker 2: where you have the same drugs and you go through
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Speaker 2: the same process to kind of harvest an egg. And
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Speaker 2: if you're going through IVF, it would be fertilized and
14:38
Speaker 2: you go down that route. But if you're going to
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Speaker 2: freeze your eggs, the process stops there and they freeze it. Right.
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Speaker 2: So between four and five thousand dollars, I think in
14:46
Speaker 2: major cities it's closer to ten thousand dollars on average,
14:49
Speaker 2: just from conversation and doing some research. But then there's
14:52
Speaker 2: also storage fees. So storage fees could be between four
14:55
Speaker 2: six eight hundred dollars a year depending on where and
14:57
Speaker 2: when you're doing this. So it's really important to have
15:00
Speaker 2: these conversations. So it makes sense that our friend who
15:03
Speaker 2: has a money dilemma has written into us and is like,
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Speaker 2: how am I going to pay for this? Should I
15:08
Speaker 2: be putting it on my credit card? Should I be
15:10
Speaker 2: putting it on zip pay because it's such a big cost.
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Speaker 2: And the unfortunate part about this big cost, it's not
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Speaker 2: like a car from my perspective, where oh, Jess, Well,
15:21
Speaker 2: if you want a new car, save up for it
15:23
Speaker 2: because the longer you're saving, the lower your egg quality.
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Speaker 2: So the sooner you get this the better. If you've
15:29
Speaker 2: decided it's for you, So should you be putting it
15:31
Speaker 2: on your credit card? Ideally not? Should you be putting
15:34
Speaker 2: it on zip pay. It's not the worst decision. As
15:37
Speaker 2: I've said before, I'm not against by now paid later platforms.
15:41
Speaker 2: I'm against them letting you get out of control. But
15:44
Speaker 2: if that's a platform that enables you to have the
15:47
Speaker 2: freedom that you desire with no interest chargeable, then that
15:51
Speaker 2: might be a good payment plan option. Discussing payment plans
15:55
Speaker 2: with your provider could also be really important. But what
15:59
Speaker 2: you might not know is that under compassionate grounds, you
16:03
Speaker 2: might be able to access your superanuation to pay for this.
16:06
Speaker 2: And now a lot of you might go but the
16:08
Speaker 2: I don't want to compromise my super. Yes, I get that.
16:11
Speaker 2: I do not want you to compromise your super either,
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Speaker 2: But if we went and had a compassionate release of
16:17
Speaker 2: superannuation to help fund IVF costs because you meet the
16:21
Speaker 2: release criteria, which is very probable if you sit down
16:24
Speaker 2: with your GP and have that conversation. Even a fertility
16:26
Speaker 2: specialist would be able to help you with this because
16:28
Speaker 2: they promise you, guys, it's not their first rodeo. But
16:31
Speaker 2: what we're going to do is treat that like a
16:32
Speaker 2: payment plan. We don't look at it and go all right, well,
16:35
Speaker 2: I'm going to pull ten ground out of my super
16:37
Speaker 2: hahaha and worse off. Absolutely not. But you've just given
16:40
Speaker 2: me a credit card or zip pay. And what might
16:43
Speaker 2: be better is if you then just sacrifice a bit
16:46
Speaker 2: more SUPER and talk to your employer about, you know,
16:48
Speaker 2: doing a couple of one hundred dollars in addition each
16:51
Speaker 2: pay to get back up to that amount that you
16:53
Speaker 2: had before, so you're not worse off, but you don't
16:56
Speaker 2: have to rely on a different payment method. I think
16:58
Speaker 2: a lot of people just all i'madically assume that early
17:01
Speaker 2: super access isn't possible for egg freezing because they think, well,
17:04
Speaker 2: it's not for IVF, like it's just like completely choice. No,
17:07
Speaker 2: that's not the case at all. It is completely possible
17:10
Speaker 2: to access super funds early For any type of fertility treatment,
17:13
Speaker 2: you just need to have a good conversation with your doctor.
17:16
Speaker 2: So given the circumstances, I don't have a lot of
17:19
Speaker 2: other context I don't have a lot of other circumstances
17:23
Speaker 2: to consider. But if you're saying my options are is
17:26
Speaker 2: it pay or credit card? I would be saying, hey, Beck,
17:29
Speaker 2: go down and see if the superranuation route might work
17:33
Speaker 2: for you. I don't want to compromise your retirement at all.
17:36
Speaker 2: I don't think that that's smart at all, because who knows.
17:38
Speaker 2: You might be like Jess and freezing your eggs because
17:41
Speaker 2: you just don't know if you want kids or not,
17:42
Speaker 2: and you might not rely on it later. Who knows.
17:44
Speaker 2: But if you're someone who wants the opportunity to do
17:47
Speaker 2: that and you don't have immediate access to those funds,
17:49
Speaker 2: maybe supranuation is a good idea. And I'm telling you
17:52
Speaker 2: this right now, Beck, Jess, you pay super fees. You
17:56
Speaker 2: pay super fees for a number of different reasons, but
17:58
Speaker 2: one of them is for advice. Pick up the phone,
18:00
Speaker 2: call your superfund. Hi, Australian super it's Jess. I would
18:04
Speaker 2: like to know what it means to get early access
18:07
Speaker 2: to my super under medical grounds. I want to understand
18:11
Speaker 2: if I'm freezing my eggs, what's this? What are the
18:13
Speaker 2: terms of release? Because there is going to be a
18:15
Speaker 2: certain criteria that you need to meet.
18:18
Speaker 1: I e.
18:18
Speaker 2: They might say, okay, Jess, to do this, you need
18:21
Speaker 2: two different doctors certificates saying the under compassionate grounds it
18:25
Speaker 2: needs to be released. Great, fantastic. You now have a
18:28
Speaker 2: plan that you can go to your GP and be like, hey,
18:30
Speaker 2: spoke to my superfund. This is this is this is
18:32
Speaker 2: I that makes sense. So it's going to put you
18:34
Speaker 2: more in control. I promise you your superannuation fund is
18:37
Speaker 2: going to know exactly how to do that and what
18:40
Speaker 2: that means. Because some super funds might have different processes
18:43
Speaker 2: than others, so you can't just rely on the government
18:46
Speaker 2: website to go, oh the process is this? Because like
18:49
Speaker 2: one super fund might have a different form that you
18:52
Speaker 2: need to fill in. Another super fund might be trying
18:54
Speaker 2: to be super compliant, needs you to get a secondary
18:57
Speaker 2: doctor's certificate, while someone else doesn't call you super fun
19:00
Speaker 2: and ask them for the advice that you are paying
19:02
Speaker 2: for my friends, So from my perspective, that is exactly
19:05
Speaker 2: what I would do. I think that's I hope comprehensive enough.
19:08
Speaker 2: I'd avoid a credit card unless for some reason you're
19:12
Speaker 2: able to pay that off within the interest free period,
19:14
Speaker 2: which is usually twenty eight to thirty days, which I
19:17
Speaker 2: really doubt is the case. Yeah, good advice? Is it
19:20
Speaker 2: good advice? I don't know. I think it's just about education,
19:23
Speaker 2: right like in Australia. It's kind of cool that we
19:25
Speaker 2: can actually access that, but also we might have the
19:27
Speaker 2: funds we just didn't know we did.
19:30
Speaker 5: Maybe that's something we can look into for a FUGE episode.
19:32
Speaker 2: I would love to deep dive more into how egg
19:35
Speaker 2: freezing works, what it means, because there are just so
19:37
Speaker 2: many people in our community who feel overwhelmed by it,
19:40
Speaker 2: and it's not something that we openly talk about. I
19:43
Speaker 2: feel like fertility has this umbrella over it where it's
19:46
Speaker 2: still a little bit topicol to talk about it, but
19:48
Speaker 2: also a little bit shady, like I don't know. I
19:50
Speaker 2: think we need to break down those barriers because I
19:52
Speaker 2: don't even know the actual process, like what happens I
19:56
Speaker 2: go to an initial consult and then what Yeah, I
19:58
Speaker 2: really want to know what that looks like, so that
20:00
Speaker 2: if I was in that position, I wouldn't feel overwhelmed
20:02
Speaker 2: going through it. Anyway, Let's move on to the next
20:06
Speaker 2: segment because I can't wait because we all know I
20:08
Speaker 2: am low key obsessed with wedding content, like my wedding
20:11
Speaker 2: wash November, and I saw I bring it up weekly.
20:13
Speaker 2: I'm like, remember the time I had a wedding? Yeah?
20:16
Speaker 2: Do you want to see more pictures?
20:17
Speaker 5: Yeah?
20:17
Speaker 2: Yeah? Do you know what we did at our wedding?
20:19
Speaker 5: Beck?
20:20
Speaker 2: Like, it's not even good content. Like, if you ask
20:22
Speaker 2: me about my wedding nine times out of ten, you
20:25
Speaker 2: know what I'm going to bring up? The chok tops
20:27
Speaker 2: at our after party.
20:28
Speaker 5: That was pretty elite.
20:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, we had chop tops at our after party,
20:32
Speaker 2: elite content and popcorn rap for bed stunning. Yeah, we
20:35
Speaker 2: had popcorn and chop tops. Is that not your teeth?
20:39
Speaker 1: Yeah?
20:39
Speaker 2: But also like, is that not a really cheap way
20:42
Speaker 2: of feeding a crowd? I Hey, you guys are getting
20:45
Speaker 2: popcorn as a midnight.
20:46
Speaker 5: SAT and I was loving every minute of it.
20:48
Speaker 2: Look, we're not mad, But this week's community dilemma spoke
20:51
Speaker 2: to me because I have some opinions and I think
20:53
Speaker 2: you guys will too, So let me read it to you. Hi, ladies,
20:57
Speaker 2: love heart emoji. My partner and I are currently planning
21:00
Speaker 2: our wedding. We are paying for it ourselves. However, we
21:03
Speaker 2: have different ideas on the budget and I'm finding it
21:06
Speaker 2: really hard to navigate this. I've found my dream venue,
21:09
Speaker 2: and whilst my partner also likes it, he is an
21:12
Speaker 2: overly fussed about the venue and would be happy to
21:14
Speaker 2: have a more casual wedding, he believes the venue I
21:17
Speaker 2: want is too expensive and not worth the price. I've
21:20
Speaker 2: suggested spending more on the venue and less on other
21:23
Speaker 2: aspects of the wedding, but he won't budge. Regardless of
21:26
Speaker 2: cutting costs in other areas, he refuses to pay for
21:29
Speaker 2: that venue. I really love this venue and no it
21:32
Speaker 2: would make me so happy to get married there. I'm
21:35
Speaker 2: considering contributing more of my own money towards this, and
21:38
Speaker 2: then in brackets it says we are paying for this
21:40
Speaker 2: wedding out of our combined funds, But then I feel
21:43
Speaker 2: like it's unfair that I've contributed more. Do you think
21:46
Speaker 2: weddings should be split evenly, especially when we have different
21:49
Speaker 2: money values on the wedding. Any advice over to you, guys?
21:55
Speaker 2: I don't know.
21:58
Speaker 4: I a bit of a tricky one like it is.
22:01
Speaker 2: Did did she say how much the venue was? No,
22:03
Speaker 2: she didn't say how much the venue was.
22:05
Speaker 4: No, So if we don't know how much is the
22:08
Speaker 4: venue cost, if it was like so out of their
22:11
Speaker 4: combined budget, then sure put in extra. But I mean,
22:16
Speaker 4: I'm not the best person to ask about this one
22:18
Speaker 4: because I obviously.
22:19
Speaker 2: But you have your opinion is so valid. Oh, I think, like,
22:22
Speaker 2: I know that you keep saying like, oh, I don't know. Well,
22:25
Speaker 2: just because you're not getting married doesn't mean you can't
22:27
Speaker 2: have an opinion on that you're not getting married.
22:28
Speaker 4: But also, if I were to get married, it would
22:30
Speaker 4: be with a female, So I'm assuming a I guess
22:34
Speaker 4: in like A I can't assume, but it sounds like
22:37
Speaker 4: they're in a maybe a heterosexual Yeah.
22:40
Speaker 2: I'm assuming it's a relationship. Why does that make any difference?
22:44
Speaker 3: The reason why that.
22:45
Speaker 2: Makes a friend so confused? No, but this is what
22:47
Speaker 2: I'm thinking.
22:47
Speaker 4: The reason why it makes a difference is probably because
22:50
Speaker 4: maybe we assume that because men make more, they should
22:53
Speaker 4: be contributing more. But without that in mind, if we're
22:57
Speaker 4: not thinking about that, it should be split equally. I
22:59
Speaker 4: would say, but if you do want something that's completely
23:01
Speaker 4: out of budget, then put in the extra.
23:04
Speaker 2: It's what I would say, Yeah, that's fair. So yeah, Jess,
23:08
Speaker 2: what are your thoughts on this.
23:09
Speaker 5: I kin't want you to go first because I think
23:10
Speaker 5: we're going to have different opinions.
23:12
Speaker 2: We're going to have different opinions. Okay, So I think
23:15
Speaker 2: that everything in life is a compromise. When you're living
23:19
Speaker 2: your best single life, it is all about you, my friend,
23:22
Speaker 2: Like you are putting you first. If you have made
23:25
Speaker 2: the decision to be in a consensual adult relationship that
23:29
Speaker 2: you want to move forward for the rest of your
23:31
Speaker 2: lives so much so that you want this ceremony to
23:35
Speaker 2: legally bind you to one another. I would expect you
23:39
Speaker 2: to be on the same page financially. I am concerned
23:42
Speaker 2: when people say, oh, we're not on the same page
23:44
Speaker 2: when it comes to you know, money values in how
23:46
Speaker 2: this works, because I just go, well, what's it going
23:49
Speaker 2: to look like when you're buying a house, what's it
23:50
Speaker 2: going to look like when you have kids. What's it
23:52
Speaker 2: going to look like when they can't see your values
23:56
Speaker 2: in the same way that you do. I'm not saying
23:58
Speaker 2: that he should be spending more. I'm also not saying
24:01
Speaker 2: that you should adhere to the budget. What I'm saying
24:03
Speaker 2: is you should be on the same page about this.
24:06
Speaker 2: And I am in a very privileged position where I
24:08
Speaker 2: have an incredibly supportive partner. And if I say, oh, babe,
24:12
Speaker 2: this is really important to me, he goes, You're really
24:15
Speaker 2: important to me, So how do we make that happen?
24:18
Speaker 2: If that makes sense. So it's not necessarily about me
24:22
Speaker 2: going oh, well, it's really expensive and him going it's
24:25
Speaker 2: not worth it. If I have said, look, this is
24:27
Speaker 2: one of the things about our wedding when we sat
24:30
Speaker 2: down and did our non negotiables, this one's the one
24:32
Speaker 2: that means the most to me. I know that Steve,
24:35
Speaker 2: my husband, would be like, all right, well, let's make
24:37
Speaker 2: it happen like for you, obviously within the realm of
24:40
Speaker 2: being reasonable. If it's completely unreasonable, he's going to be like, look,
24:43
Speaker 2: we can't really do that. But I'm the same with him,
24:45
Speaker 2: like I'm obsessed that he has his own hobbies and
24:48
Speaker 2: loves doing those things. It would be really unfair of
24:51
Speaker 2: me to say, oh, golf is such a waste of money.
24:54
Speaker 2: I don't know why he spends any money on that.
24:56
Speaker 2: That makes it well that's his values. Those are the
24:58
Speaker 2: things that he loves, and as a part of our
25:01
Speaker 2: you could say, family budget, we allocate to that because
25:04
Speaker 2: I know how important it is to him. So I
25:06
Speaker 2: think going back to regardless of what it costs, I
25:09
Speaker 2: would hope that by the time you're getting married, you're
25:12
Speaker 2: on the same page about we should spend this, we
25:14
Speaker 2: shouldn't spend this. This is where we are, and I
25:17
Speaker 2: think that it's a very big decision to make. I'm
25:20
Speaker 2: not saying, oh, you should get what you want, but
25:22
Speaker 2: there also should be some compromise from you might be
25:24
Speaker 2: your dream venue you wear my dream venue was jess
25:27
Speaker 2: Lake Como in Italy stole my dream venue, you know,
25:31
Speaker 2: But like we're on the same page with that, right,
25:33
Speaker 2: Like that is the og Like if I could have
25:35
Speaker 2: had Alake Como wet, oh my gosh, the vibe, the
25:39
Speaker 2: vibes would be insane, right, But for us that just
25:42
Speaker 2: wasn't feasible. It wasn't going to happen. And so the
25:45
Speaker 2: compromise of let's pretend for a hot second that that
25:48
Speaker 2: was the only venue I ever wanted to consider compromise
25:51
Speaker 2: means that you know, Steve and I could have made
25:53
Speaker 2: that happen, we obviously would have had a very different
25:56
Speaker 2: wedding to the wedding that we have. It might have
25:57
Speaker 2: been a completely different guest least, it might have been
25:59
Speaker 2: a million different things. But when it comes to compromise,
26:02
Speaker 2: that just wasn't going to work out. So we kind
26:04
Speaker 2: of have to both compromise in a relationship. And I
26:07
Speaker 2: think that that's really important. So I guess from my perspective,
26:10
Speaker 2: i'd be asking not necessarily about the finances, I'd be
26:14
Speaker 2: asking about the value set, like did you actually sit
26:16
Speaker 2: down and say what are your non negotiables? Because I
26:19
Speaker 2: remember when I did this with my husband, he was
26:21
Speaker 2: like own a big party so far out. I would
26:24
Speaker 2: have been so happy to elope like I would have
26:26
Speaker 2: been happy with a really small lux affair. Don't get
26:29
Speaker 2: me wrong, don't regret my wedding for a second. I
26:31
Speaker 2: adored it. But a lot of the conversation that we
26:34
Speaker 2: had was about making sure he was happy and I
26:36
Speaker 2: was happy, and we're both getting out of the day
26:38
Speaker 2: what we wanted as a couple. I don't know how
26:42
Speaker 2: I feel about you contributing more. If it's your values,
26:44
Speaker 2: then maybe you can contribute more, But I don't in
26:48
Speaker 2: any way feel like if you say I really want
26:51
Speaker 2: to contribute more to get this item, that he should
26:53
Speaker 2: then have to do that too, if you had an
26:55
Speaker 2: agreed upon budget, Jessy, is that enough of me waffling
27:00
Speaker 2: for you?
27:00
Speaker 6: Go?
27:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got my opinion.
27:02
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, I reason to say, is her not paying more?
27:05
Speaker 5: That is a compromise. My thought on it is this.
27:08
Speaker 5: If we flip the narrative and I use a stereotypical
27:12
Speaker 5: example of this venue, right, let's say she wants to
27:15
Speaker 5: get rid on like current. If my partner said to me,
27:16
Speaker 5: I want to get married at the MCG because I
27:18
Speaker 5: love football, and it's going to cost us twenty thousand dollars,
27:20
Speaker 5: I'd be like, I'm not paying for that, like flat
27:24
Speaker 5: foot on the ground. Absolutely not, Like if that's something
27:27
Speaker 5: that you are so like, I love you, I support you,
27:30
Speaker 5: that's not for me. Do I want you to have
27:33
Speaker 5: what makes you happy? Absolutely, I'm not willing to foot
27:36
Speaker 5: that bill.
27:36
Speaker 2: I want to understand though. Let's dive a little bit
27:39
Speaker 2: deeper into that. Let's hypothetically say that your football loving partner,
27:43
Speaker 2: which just as your partner even watch football, No, that's okay.
27:46
Speaker 2: Stereotyally exactly. Okay, all right, I was like, I really
27:48
Speaker 2: don't think this is company's a fives. So let's say
27:53
Speaker 2: that the MCG costs twenty thousand dollars and then another
27:56
Speaker 2: venue that you happen to like cost twenty thousand dollars.
27:59
Speaker 2: Are you saying that it's not really about the venue,
28:01
Speaker 2: it's about how you're allocating the funds in line with
28:03
Speaker 2: your personal values. Or are you saying that I assume
28:07
Speaker 2: that the MCG is going to be way more expensive
28:09
Speaker 2: than another venue.
28:10
Speaker 5: Yes, it's that. So I'm saying it's not so much
28:12
Speaker 5: about I like here versus there, it's I like here
28:16
Speaker 5: versus there, and within our budgetary constraints, it's putting in
28:20
Speaker 5: the same to use an example that might be.
28:22
Speaker 2: More relevant to me, get married at the MCG. No idea, man,
28:25
Speaker 2: you actually I don't know.
28:27
Speaker 5: Oh, I don't think if you have enough money.
28:29
Speaker 2: Reducer reminds us that when you have enough money, you
28:32
Speaker 2: can do anything. So back to very true.
28:34
Speaker 5: Find the same strain of thought. If we had, you know,
28:36
Speaker 5: a wedding budget that we were adhering to, and I
28:38
Speaker 5: was like, I really want a fifteen thousand dollar wedding
28:41
Speaker 5: dress and that's half our wedding budget. I would not
28:44
Speaker 5: be expecting my partner to give up everything that he
28:47
Speaker 5: also wants within that wedding one hundred percent so I
28:50
Speaker 5: can have that fifteen thousand dollar dress. I feel like
28:52
Speaker 5: in this scenario, potentially and obviously without knowing all the facts,
28:57
Speaker 5: her paying or contributing more so that she can have
29:00
Speaker 5: exactly what she wants, that is a compromise. And that's
29:04
Speaker 5: what you're saying, find a compromise. If that was the case,
29:06
Speaker 5: If I really wanted that fifteen thousand dollars rescient was
29:08
Speaker 5: in line with my values and I could afford it,
29:11
Speaker 5: that's the route that I would go down. Yeah, and
29:13
Speaker 5: I don't think that that is an example of them
29:15
Speaker 5: necessarily entirely not being on the same page. You need
29:18
Speaker 5: to be able to come to a compromise that you're
29:20
Speaker 5: both happy with, and it sounds like as of yet
29:21
Speaker 5: they have not. But her making that financial contribution is
29:25
Speaker 5: a compromise. That is an option, just as her deciding
29:29
Speaker 5: to choose a different venue or him deciding to give
29:32
Speaker 5: up something else within the wedding, those are all compromises
29:35
Speaker 5: that are options on the table. I really like that,
29:37
Speaker 5: but I think, if you are dead set on your guns,
29:39
Speaker 5: I want this thing, and I'm assuming that this thing
29:42
Speaker 5: is significantly more expensive, and that's why it's blowing out
29:44
Speaker 5: their budget. If you are not willing to compromise on
29:47
Speaker 5: that thing, I don't think you should then expect them
29:50
Speaker 5: to have to give stuff up.
29:51
Speaker 2: So you can have it. I agree, I think overlay,
29:53
Speaker 2: so I could not agree more with that. I agree
29:56
Speaker 2: that's the compromise, you spend more. I think the comment
29:59
Speaker 2: that's really sticking with me is and I'll quote it,
30:01
Speaker 2: but then I feel like it's unfair that I've contributed more.
30:05
Speaker 2: I think it's that level of I feel like it's
30:08
Speaker 2: a bit unfair that I would be, you know, engaging
30:11
Speaker 2: in this compromise. You don't have to engage in that compromise.
30:13
Speaker 2: You could like just be within the budget, right, But
30:16
Speaker 2: I think, you know, let's hypothetically say Steve and I
30:19
Speaker 2: sat down and we'll use the expensive dress, like what
30:21
Speaker 2: was it, fifteen thousand dollars? If I wanted that, and
30:23
Speaker 2: Steve goes, that's ridiculous. Yeah, I know that I would
30:26
Speaker 2: still want that, So I think that I would then go,
30:29
Speaker 2: all right, well, I'm just gonna buy that for myself,
30:31
Speaker 2: that's exactly what I would I think that's the circumstance.
30:34
Speaker 2: I don't think it's unfair that after you've set a
30:36
Speaker 2: particular budget that now you want something above and beyond,
30:40
Speaker 2: they also have to go above and beyond. I think
30:42
Speaker 2: that you did the negotiating, you did the compromise. This
30:46
Speaker 2: isn't something that's actually outside of the realm of possibility
30:50
Speaker 2: for your wedding. There's a few things that we could
30:52
Speaker 2: do here. So first things first, you could talk to
30:54
Speaker 2: your partner about being like, is it unfair that I'm
30:57
Speaker 2: contributing more for my dream wedding venue. I can almost
31:00
Speaker 2: guarantee that your partner would be like, no, because I
31:02
Speaker 2: don't see any value in it. And if you want it,
31:04
Speaker 2: you can pay for it, and I'm happy for you
31:06
Speaker 2: to do that, but like, I don't see any value yep.
31:08
Speaker 2: On the flip side, your partner could go, yeah, okay,
31:11
Speaker 2: I'll contribute more, but then where's the value exchanged for them?
31:16
Speaker 2: Your partner could say, oh, I would love to, but like,
31:19
Speaker 2: this budget is already a lot. Maybe we need to
31:22
Speaker 2: push out the timeframe of the wedding so that the
31:24
Speaker 2: wedding budget can increase to meet the expectations that you
31:28
Speaker 2: have for this wedding day. But we also aren't under
31:31
Speaker 2: a lot of financial pressure for that to happen. Or
31:34
Speaker 2: we could just talk about well where could we cut
31:36
Speaker 2: back in other areas? And while they've mentioned in this
31:39
Speaker 2: message to us, you know he didn't want to do that.
31:43
Speaker 2: I think we actually need to go back to the
31:45
Speaker 2: drawing board and wipe budget off completely and sit down
31:47
Speaker 2: and go back what are your no negotiables? Like why
31:50
Speaker 2: are we getting married? What's your dream day look like?
31:54
Speaker 2: And you might go a B and s what's the
31:56
Speaker 2: most important thing to you on that day? Yeah, have
32:00
Speaker 2: that conversation first, because I feel like we all forget
32:02
Speaker 2: to have that.
32:03
Speaker 5: Yeah.
32:03
Speaker 2: I I around swept up in it too, and I
32:05
Speaker 2: had to kind of like reframe Steve and I back
32:07
Speaker 2: to the start and I went hold on, hold on,
32:08
Speaker 2: hold on, what do you actually want?
32:10
Speaker 5: Yeah?
32:10
Speaker 2: And that's when I was shocked. I was like, what
32:12
Speaker 2: do you mean you want a big soccer club party?
32:14
Speaker 6: What?
32:15
Speaker 2: That's not what I want?
32:16
Speaker 5: Yeah? And not everyone to be getting a level of
32:18
Speaker 5: what they want, Like I'm not saying that he should
32:20
Speaker 5: get exactly what she wants. And she should have to compromise,
32:22
Speaker 5: or she should have to get exactly what he wants
32:24
Speaker 5: and he should have to compromise. There has to, as
32:26
Speaker 5: you said, be a quote unquote value exchange. You've got
32:29
Speaker 5: to meet in the middle. So it's like, how do
32:31
Speaker 5: you do that within budget, within timeframe, within all of
32:34
Speaker 5: these things. And if you're not willing to compromise, do
32:38
Speaker 5: you care enough to go above and beyond and put
32:40
Speaker 5: the money in yourself? Is where I kind of sit
32:42
Speaker 5: on it, and I think that that's reasonable.
32:44
Speaker 2: I agree. It goes back to a couple of weeks ago,
32:46
Speaker 2: maybe even a couple of months ago. I don't even
32:48
Speaker 2: know if you guys remember this. We're talking about the
32:49
Speaker 2: concert tickets. Remember how two friends were negotiating about, like,
32:54
Speaker 2: let's call it Taylor Swift. They were going and the
32:56
Speaker 2: normal Taylor Swift tickets, let's say we're one hundred dollars,
32:59
Speaker 2: but the really good sea it's we're one hundred and fifty.
33:01
Speaker 2: And so the other friend wanted the expensive ones, and
33:04
Speaker 2: we said, well, the compromise is your friend wants to
33:06
Speaker 2: go with you their budgets one hundred. If you want
33:09
Speaker 2: to do the one fifty ones, then you can either
33:11
Speaker 2: do that on your own, or you can pay to
33:13
Speaker 2: upgrade your friends. But your friend shouldn't have to go
33:15
Speaker 2: above and beyond. No, I think if that's super in
33:17
Speaker 2: line with your values, that is your cost to bear.
33:21
Speaker 2: But at the same time, I really think we need
33:23
Speaker 2: to talk more about values than where this is sitting,
33:25
Speaker 2: because I just feel like there's a lot not on
33:28
Speaker 2: the table. And as much as he doesn't see the
33:30
Speaker 2: value in the venue, what value does he see?
33:32
Speaker 1: Like?
33:32
Speaker 2: What is he most excited about?
33:34
Speaker 5: Yeah, because you don't want to be going into a
33:36
Speaker 5: marriage with resentment either, and it's giving a tone of
33:38
Speaker 5: resentment to me like that. It feels unfair.
33:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree to me.
33:42
Speaker 5: It's not even about the money. It's not even about
33:44
Speaker 5: who's spending more. It's about how you feel about these
33:47
Speaker 5: one hundred percent. It's probably something that you need to
33:49
Speaker 5: talk about, regardless of stunning compromise you make.
33:51
Speaker 2: That's exactly what I've been trying to get to with
33:53
Speaker 2: the last ten minutes of conversation. Sorry that she should
33:58
Speaker 2: have just gone first. Yeah, absolutely, next time, next time
34:01
Speaker 2: we'll know. All right, Well, I think that is unfortunately,
34:04
Speaker 2: always have time for today, guys. I'm glad You've had
34:06
Speaker 2: a good week, but now have a beautiful weekend. We'll
34:09
Speaker 2: see you bright nearly on Monday morning for a money
34:11
Speaker 2: darry do you then bye bye. The advice shared on
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