Latest / Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire. / They Tried to Hide Natalie Harp Then the Internet Found Her | Breaking Absurdity Ep 31

Transcript

They Tried to Hide Natalie Harp Then the Internet Found Her | Breaking Absurdity Ep 31 · Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire.

• 0:00
  The Supreme Court just handed Trump a victory,
• 0:02
  allowing him to restrict mail -in ballots ahead
• 0:04
  of the November midterms, because instead of
• 0:06
  trying to get ahead in the polls, he decided
• 0:09
  the easiest way to win was to make voting more
• 0:11
  difficult. At the White House today, Trump calls
• 0:14
  on all the children to follow him in to see the
• 0:16
  new helipad and ballroom construction, while
• 0:19
  RFK mentions elsewhere that the reason Trump
• 0:21
  hired him is his interest in children. Two stories
• 0:25
  that were otherwise completely unrelated, tied
• 0:27
  together by some very creepy remarks. While R
• 0:31
  .F .K. Jr. spoke about fringe causes of autism,
• 0:34
  his iPhone stole the show with the claim of its
• 0:36
  own, because its ringtone was a quacking duck.
• 0:39
  Literally, R .F .K. Jr. was called to quack by
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  his own phone. AI is getting really good these
• 0:45
  days. Meanwhile, the White House comms team tries
• 0:48
  to hide Natalie Hart behind Trump at the Freedom
• 0:50
  250 event, where it became apparent she was cropped
• 0:53
  out of the shot. Meanwhile, the internet argued
• 0:55
  over what Trump and Melania were discussing,
• 0:58
  but even stranger, people started asking, was
• 1:00
  that even Melania or Caitlyn Jenner? Canada has
• 1:05
  told Trump it will never become America's 51st
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  state as the Ontario premier threatened to cut
• 1:09
  off electricity to Republican states while calling
• 1:12
  Trump a loser and a bully. Canada has apparently
• 1:15
  decided to fight a trade war with the one weapon
• 1:18
  America can't tear off, the light switch. Pete
• 1:21
  Hegseth made an offensive transphobic comment
• 1:23
  sparking backlash while he continues to advocate
• 1:26
  for gender -affirming care with his testosterone
• 1:29
  initiative. Meanwhile, he continues to cosplay
• 1:32
  as Prima Donna during his Marine Corps grapevine
• 1:35
  dance routine. It's time for Breaking Absurdity.
• 1:40
  Everything you didn't know you needed to know
• 1:41
  today, but wish you hadn't. Ads help keep the
• 1:44
  lights on here at It's Not Satire. But if ads
• 1:47
  give you the ick, let me help you with that.
• 1:49
  If you want all the absurdity without the ads,
• 1:51
  subscribe to my sub stack and look for the ad
• 1:53
  -free podcast option. The link is in the show
• 1:55
  notes. Now let's get into the absurdity. Let's
• 1:59
  kick things off with the latest Supreme Court
• 2:01
  ruling. The court handed Trump a victory today,
• 2:04
  allowing his administration to move forward with
• 2:06
  key portions of his March executive order restricting
• 2:09
  mail -in voting ahead of the November midterms.
• 2:12
  While the Supreme Court didn't rule that Trump's
• 2:15
  order is constitutional, it simply allowed a
• 2:17
  lower court's blocking of the order, while the
• 2:19
  broader legal fight continues. But this is still
• 2:22
  a significant victory for Trump, because now
• 2:24
  Trump can start doing what he's been arguing
• 2:26
  for all along, to make voting more difficult.
• 2:28
  The order seeks to impose new requirements on
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  mail -in ballots, including creating a federal
• 2:33
  voting list, and this is happening just weeks
• 2:36
  before states begin sending out ballots for the
• 2:38
  midterms, which means election officials are
• 2:41
  now being asked to figure out how to comply with
• 2:43
  a brand new federal voting regime, while the
• 2:45
  courts are still deciding whether the president
• 2:46
  was allowed to create it in the first place.
• 2:49
  Because nothing says election integrity, quite
• 2:51
  like changing the rules while the game is already
• 2:53
  underway. Meanwhile, at the White House, Trump
• 2:56
  decided to give a group of children a tour. And
• 2:58
  by tour, I mean he took them to see the construction
• 3:01
  site for his new ballroom in Helipad. If you'd
• 3:13
  like to follow me, especially with the kids,
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  the kids could see construction. I love the sound
• 3:17
  of construction. When I hear all that banging
• 3:20
  out there, some people say, oh, that's too bad.
• 3:22
  And I say, I love it. You know, so if anybody
• 3:26
  would like to follow me, it'll be a large group,
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  but it's a large pad. And you'll be able to see
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  some very hardworking people. They're working
• 3:34
  harder than making a lot of money and they're
• 3:36
  doing something great for America. And they've
• 3:38
  needed a heliport for many years here. And we're
• 3:41
  getting it all done. We're doing all the things
• 3:43
  that should have been done for years. So if you
• 3:45
  want to follow me with the children, I think
• 3:48
  it'll be very interesting. You'll bring your
• 3:49
  nice family. Okay? Follow me. We'll come up here
• 3:53
  and we'll walk down. Good. Thank you. About 30
• 3:56
  children and other guests were led around the
• 3:58
  White House grounds while Trump showed off the
• 4:00
  construction. I don't know what the traditional
• 4:02
  White House children's tour is like. I'm guessing
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  it usually involves the Lincoln bedroom, the
• 4:06
  Oval Office, or his Walk of Fame. Trump apparently
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  went with, Kids, come look at the giant construction
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  project. I'm just glad that families were allowed
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  to attend along with the children. You'll find
• 4:18
  out why this next story is related in a second.
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  Elsewhere, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was talking
• 4:23
  about children's health and explaining his relationship
• 4:25
  with Trump. And somehow in the same news cycle,
• 4:28
  R .F .K. Jr. described Trump's interest in children
• 4:31
  as one of the reasons he was hired. I got into
• 4:35
  this job. Two completely unrelated stories, when
• 4:45
  told next to each other, definitely served to
• 4:47
  give you the ick. Maybe hold off on bringing
• 4:49
  the kids to DC until the next administration.
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  And then RFK Jr. was spouting his usual unfounded
• 4:56
  and fringe beliefs about his favorite topic,
• 4:59
  autism. But then he was interrupted by a bird.
• 5:02
  I mean, a ringtone. Well, it was a ringtone of
• 5:05
  a duck. Quacking. Let me go over this again.
• 5:20
  There was a digital duck quacking from his pocket.
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  Kennedy was announcing a new national alert initiative
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  for missing autistic people when his phone decided
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  it had something to say. And I have to give credit
• 5:31
  where credit's due. That phone has impeccable
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  comedic timing. RFK Jr. spent the speech making
• 5:37
  controversial claims about autism, and his own
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  iPhone responded, clack. AI is getting really
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  good these days. Meanwhile, we've got another
• 5:47
  development in the increasingly strange Natalie
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  Harp saga. At the Freedom 250 event, Natalie
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  was there, except if you watched the official
• 5:55
  White House footage, you might not have known
• 5:58
  that, because she appears to have been cropped
• 6:00
  out. Then other footage emerged showing Harp
• 6:03
  standing directly behind Trump and Melania. The
• 6:06
  Daily Beast reported that Harp was selectively
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  removed from official White House and First Lady
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  social media content from the event, despite
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  appearing in other footage and images. Now obviously
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  we don't know who made the decision. Maybe it
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  was innocent editing. Maybe someone thought the
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  composition looked better. Maybe Natalie just
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  happened to be standing in the exact part of
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  the frame that somebody didn't want us to see.
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  But after everything we've learned about the
• 6:28
  Trump -Harp -Melania triangle of proximity, the
• 6:31
  White House has apparently entered the Natalie
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  Harp witness protection program. and the internet
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  noticed. Because there was another moment from
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  the same event that generated an entirely different
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  internet investigation, Trump and Melania appeared
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  to be having what looked like a fairly animated
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  conversation, and naturally, the internet immediately
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  started to work out what they were saying. Was
• 6:50
  it about Natalie? Was it about the event? Was
• 6:53
  it Melania telling Trump to stop dancing? Or
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  was the woman sitting next to Trump even Melania?
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  Because for a brief period, social media became
• 7:00
  convinced that Trump was standing next to… Caitlyn
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  Jenner. I should stress it was Melania. Probably.
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  But this is what happens when you disappear from
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  public life for weeks at a time, people start
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  doing forensic analysis of your cheekbones, and
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  then things got even stranger when reports emerged
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  that Secret Service personnel instructed members
• 7:20
  of the film crew to stop recording during parts
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  of the interaction. So we have a mysterious conversation,
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  a camera crew being told to stop filming. and
• 8:04
  internet trying to identify the women sitting
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  next to the president, and Natalie Harp apparently
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  being edited out of the official footage. With
• 8:11
  all these hiccups and embarrassments, I'm guessing
• 8:13
  Melania Watch will need to be reinstated later
• 8:16
  this week. And then there's Canada. Donald Trump
• 8:19
  has repeatedly talked about Canada becoming the
• 8:21
  51st state. Canada's response? Essentially, no.
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  And Ontario premier Doug Ford has now threatened
• 8:29
  to cut electricity exports to the United States
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  if the trade war escalates. Ontario supplies
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  electricity to several American states, and Ford
• 8:37
  said everything's on the table in retaliation.
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  We'll never be the 51st state. We'll do whatever
• 8:43
  it takes to protect our sovereignty. We're proud
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  Canadians. And I'll tell you one thing, we'll
• 8:49
  wait it out for two years. We'll wait it out
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  for two years, even if he lasts two years, but
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  we'll wait it out. And hopefully they'll come
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  to their senses when they see the pain he's putting
• 9:01
  on the American people. and we have to focus
• 9:04
  on the red states and folks i know up here red
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  is liberal blue is conservative opposite down
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  there just to explain to the people the red states
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  are republican blue are democrat but uh the red
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  states we're gonna hit hard he also called trump
• 9:19
  a loser and a bully well good you know something
• 9:22
  i've been in this game a lot longer than he has
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  i got skin on me like an alligator and you think
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  an insult from him hurts me well bring it on
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  buddy i'm ready bring it on You know something
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  I've dealt with guys like you my whole life and
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  guess what y 'all become losers because you're
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  a loser So Canada has apparently decided to fight
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  a trade war with the one weapon America can't
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  tariff the light switch Trump wanted Canada Canada
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  said fine. We'll see how you like living without
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  the lights Hegseth has sparked backlash after
• 9:56
  using a transphobic slur during a speech in Iowa
• 9:59
  while defending the Trump administration's approach
• 10:02
  to the military. It means no more DEI. It means
• 10:08
  no more trannies, just training. His administration
• 10:12
  has also pursued sweeping restrictions on transgender
• 10:15
  service members and gender affirming care. Meanwhile,
• 10:18
  Hegseth has become increasingly associated with
• 10:20
  his own particular form of military choreography.
• 10:24
  The Marine Corps Grapevine, a dance so aggressively
• 10:27
  heterosexual that I think it might actually qualify
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  as a military exercise. I'm not saying Pete Hakeseth
• 10:33
  should spend less time dancing, I'm just saying
• 10:36
  there may be a reason the Pentagon has classified
• 10:39
  this footage. And finally, we go to Australia.
• 10:42
  I decided to make this a regular installment
• 10:44
  because America doesn't have a monopoly on absurdity.
• 10:48
  Police in New South Wales were called after what
• 10:50
  appeared to be a woman's body was discovered
• 10:52
  inside a suitcase on the side of a road near
• 10:54
  Goulburn. Naturally, a crime scene was established,
• 10:58
  the suitcase was seized, forensics got involved,
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  and then police discovered something slightly
• 11:03
  awkward. But we can confirm that the remains
• 11:06
  found at O 'Allan Ford Road, O 'Allan yesterday,
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  are now identified as not being human. It wasn't
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  a woman. It was a doll. An extremely realistic
• 11:18
  doll, apparently wearing clothes with hair. a
• 11:22
  nose piercing and markings that looked like bruises
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  and grazes. Police eventually confirmed they
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  did not have a suspicious human death on their
• 11:29
  hands, which is good news. Although I'm guessing
• 11:32
  somewhere in rural New South Wales, there is
• 11:35
  currently a doll missing and the owner has some
• 11:38
  explaining to do. And there you have it, another
• 11:43
  day of breaking absurdity, your daily reminder
• 11:45
  that this is not normal. Be sure to like and
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  subscribe to help me keep bringing you more daily
• 11:51
  absurdity. And if ads aren't your thing then
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  remember to check out the ad -free version of
• 11:56
  this podcast on my sub stack. Just click on the
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  link in the show notes and look for the ad -free
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  podcast in the subscription options.