Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 658: What Happens When Your Ex Finally Breaks?

Transcript

Episode 658: What Happens When Your Ex Finally Breaks? · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:01
  This is the day you've been waiting for, the day when your
• 0:04
  ex starts to wonder if they made a mistake or the day they
• 0:08
  realized they actually did make a mistake in breaking up with
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  you. So what happens when your ex
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  finally breaks? Well, stay tuned and you'll find
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  out. But first, hi, this is Lucia
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  with The Art of Love. I'm a dating and relationship
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  expert specializing in helping you get your ex back or to get
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  over your ex. And welcome back my beautiful no
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  contact Army. How are you enjoying my app
• 0:31
  Silencio that helps you stay in no contact?
• 0:34
  If you could leave a review in either the App Store or the
• 0:37
  Google Play Store, I would really appreciate it.
• 0:40
  And if you too would like to join our no contact Army, all
• 0:43
  you have to do is hit the subscribe button and the bell
• 0:48
  notification and you're in. And to read our manual, go to
• 0:51
  nocontactsecrets.com, where you can read two free chapters
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  before you purchase the book. OK, so by doing all the things
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  right post breakup, the day when your ex breaks will come sooner
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  rather than later. And we're going to talk about
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  Newton's first law of motion. Didn't think we'd be talking
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  about physics today, did you? And it can actually be applied
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  to this situation, believe it or not.
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  And the first law of motion is that an object at rest will
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  remain at rest, and an object in motion will remain in motion at
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  a constant velocity unless acted upon by an external force.
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  So what does this have to do with you?
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  Well, while your ex is away from you, they're not moving towards
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  you. They're in a state of rest when
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  it comes to the breakup, meaning they're not moving forward in
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  the relationship because they ended it, right?
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  So an external force needs to change their state from one of
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  rest to one of motion, one of moving towards you.
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  That's why it's important that you stay in no contact where you
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  appear to be at rest. But by appearing to be at rest,
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  this will actually cause them to move towards you.
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  And this can be because you haven't contacted them and they
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  started to miss you, or they see you either levelling up or
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  moving on with your life on social media, or you use my
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  famous to drink trick and they became jealous etcetera.
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  There's many reasons why an ex starts to doubt their decision
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  as I've discussed in many other videos.
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  So your ex finally breaks. The first thing they will
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  actually do is try to stick to their decision, try to stick to
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  the breakup, because people hate to change their minds once
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  they've made a decision, especially on something so
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  important such as breaking up with someone, basically removing
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  someone from your life, that's a major life decision in many
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  cases. They don't want to look unstable
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  or weak, and if they have any doubt at all, they're going to
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  try to stick to their decision. They'll also be afraid that
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  you'll reject them. So that's where the
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  breadcrumbing comes in. And they may try to give you a
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  hint. They may try to get you to reach
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  out to them. And they do this by watching
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  your stories, liking your posts, leaving comments, asking family
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  or friends about you, showing up where you are, looking at you
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  but not talking to you. So many ways.
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  And once you do start talking, because they did say something
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  significant, they may ask if you're seeing someone, you know,
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  the usual so you seen anybody question, which everyone tries
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  to ask that in a casual manner. But we know it's not a casual
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  question. And if you ask why, their answer
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  will probably be, oh, I'm just curious.
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  Yeah, sure you are. So if you want them back and you
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  are seeing someone, you can say that, yeah, you know, you're
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  dating, but you're not seeing anyone exclusively.
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  Or you can say that you're not dating at the moment, meaning
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  that you could be dating at another moment, but in this
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  moment you're not dating. And that way they'll think, oh,
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  if they don't hurry up and do something, the window of
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  opportunity may, may pass or they may try to get you to bring
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  up the topic so it'll seem like you talk them into coming back.
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  But remember, it's not your job to pick up the ball.
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  They dropped the ball and they need to pick it up.
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  And in fact, one of my clients is going through this right now.
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  Her husband wants a divorce, wanted a divorce.
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  And since she began working with me, we've managed to turn things
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  around and now he's having second thoughts.
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  But he will not come out and say it.
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  But I've instructed her not to say anything, especially because
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  he's being hot and cold. He's the one that initiated the
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  divorce over really nothing. So he needs to be the one to
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  realize he's making a big mistake.
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  He needs to at least make the first move, as does your ex.
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  So don't try to do the work for them because it may backfire if
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  they're not quite there. They at least need to say
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  something. Like what would you say if I
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  told you I was thinking about changing my mind about the break
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  up? And your response can be, hmm,
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  interesting. Why would you change your mind?
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  You know, just jump and go. Sure, yes, let's get back
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  together. So you're not quite rejecting
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  them if you answer that way, but you're also not opening the door
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  and welcoming them, welcoming them back in with open arms.
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  And one of the reasons for this is because I don't want them to
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  think that they can just break up with you anytime and you'll
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  easily take them back. It's about self respect.
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  I want them to learn that if they break up with you, they're
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  going to have to put the work to get you back.
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  And by the way, if you're finding this helpful, if you
• 6:09
  could give this video a like so that we help our friend, the
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  YouTube algorithm to recommend it to other people.
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  Thank you. So it's not enough that you just
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  start talking, then all of a sudden start seeing each other
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  and you get back together. No, no, no, that is the wrong
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  way to get back together. There have to be consequences
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  for breaking up with you. That's how you show that you
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  have self respect. You don't just take them back.
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  You have to ask the famous six questions that I always talk
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  about and I will link that video in the upper right hand corner
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  on YouTube. And if they give great answers
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  to the six questions and not just surface level fluff stuff,
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  then you know that they're for real and you can get back
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  together. But I strongly urge you to
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  discuss the issue or issues which led to the break up in the
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  1st place. Don't just sweep things under
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  the rug because you're so happy to be back together because the
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  issue or issues are not going to go away on their own.
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  OK and finally before I end I have a short comment from
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  someone who did hear from their ex when their ex broke and they
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  said last night my ex called and messaged me about someone
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  contacting them about a purchase I made.
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  This is because my account was still linked to her number from
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  years ago when we were together. Since the purchase was important
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  I just replied with thanks. She messaged again.
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  I didn't respond. A few hours later she asked if
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  we could meet for fries and pizza.
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  Do those two things go together? Fries and pizza?
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  Oh well, I didn't reply. And then she sent another
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  message saying, well, it seemed I wasn't interested.
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  I didn't reply to that either. OK, so here she needed he or she
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  needed to reply. At some point you have to reply
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  if you want your ex back. They're putting in effort.
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  They're putting in escalation. They're proving that they have
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  been broken down by you doing no contact.
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  So yes, in this case, you respond, you go for pizza and
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  fries, OK, And see what they have to say and go from there.
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  OK, so now I want to hear from you.
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  How long have you been in no contact and how's it going?
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  And in the meantime, if you would like my help to get your
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  ex back, contact me at theartoflove.net and we will
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  send you the rates. They are not on the page.
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  And if you don't hear from us within 24 hours, then send
• 8:43
  another e-mail, preferably from another e-mail address because
• 8:46
  maybe our e-mail went to your spam or it just disappeared in
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  thin air. And if you found this video
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  helpful, please like, subscribe and share.
• 8:55
  If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review.
• 8:59
  And finally, remember that love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
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  enlightens.