Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Trespass
Transcript
- 0:21So is Joel Schumacher a good director? Give me
- 0:26a rundown of like. All right, here. Notable Schumacher.
- 0:30Okay, that's actually a good way to do it. Lost
- 0:32Boys. Batman Forever. Batman and Robin. 8mm.
- 0:38Trespass. So as a director, The Incredible Shrinking
- 0:43Woman in 1981. Haven't seen it. Correct. Street
- 0:46Fleet. I don't know why I said correct. Yeah,
- 0:49thanks. Thanks for confirming that I have not
- 0:51seen that. St. Elmo's Fire. Not a bad movie.
- 0:55Haven't seen it. Lost Boys. Arguably a very good
- 0:58movie. Yeah. A real banger. Cousins. Don't know
- 1:00that one. I think I've watched that documentary.
- 1:04Yes. Flatliners. Not a good movie. Kind of fun.
- 1:08Stupid. OK. That's where they like a bunch of,
- 1:11I don't know, med students or something basically
- 1:14kill themselves. OK. Yeah. I don't know if I've
- 1:17seen it, but I've heard of it. Then it was Dying
- 1:21Young. OK. Don't know that one. falling down
- 1:24oh bad bad bad movie that people seem to a certain
- 1:29kind of people like to love yeah that is one
- 1:32of those that's like definitely regarded well
- 1:35even though i think it kind of sucks shit is
- 1:37it michael douglas yes michael douglas like has
- 1:41is just a white guy who has a bad day and decides
- 1:44to take it out on the world but is a hero because
- 1:46of it because he's saying all those things you
- 1:48can't say about the blacks and like oh okay yeah
- 1:52that's pretty much it problematic cool then we
- 1:56have uh the client so some sort of legal thriller
- 1:59with tommy lee jones uh batman forever a time
- 2:03to kill which i think is a pretty pretty good
- 2:06one batman and robin eight millimeter bad and
- 2:10then we get into the weird stuff is the client
- 2:13based on like one of those uh books by the guy
- 2:16who did like the pelican brief and stuff yeah
- 2:18that sounded like one yeah And it's Flawless,
- 2:22Tigerland, Bad Company, Phone Booth. That movie
- 2:26sucked. Bad Company. Something called Veronica
- 2:30Gurin. I thought it just said Bone Booth, and
- 2:34I'm like, I've seen that one. A different documentary.
- 2:38Phantom of the Opera, the one with Emmy Rossum.
- 2:41That's not very good. Bad, bad, bad, bad. The
- 2:43Number 23 with Jim Carrey, also bad. Something
- 2:47called Blood Creek, 12, Trespass. That is all.
- 2:52Hmm. Is Joel Schumacher alive? No, he died. This
- 2:55was his last actual movie. Oh, okay. When did
- 2:57he die? 2020. Oh. But he had a big gap. He was
- 3:02pretty sick and he didn't do anything for a while.
- 3:05Sure. And can I just say, way to go out on a
- 3:08whimper. Yeah. I mean, it must have been really
- 3:13bad. Like, he must have been pretty sick to not
- 3:14make anything else in the nine years before his
- 3:19death. Or maybe he just figured he was done.
- 3:23Maybe he just retired. Yeah, I mean, he did retire
- 3:25from the mortal coil. But I mean, I mean, after
- 3:30making Trespass, he's like, what else can I do?
- 3:33I've made a film that has 11 endings. I've said
- 3:37all I have to say. Yeah. Well, once you've directed
- 3:40Nicolas Cage twice, the only thing left to do
- 3:44is direct Nicolas Cage thrice and then die or
- 3:47die. Yeah. One or the other. Yeah, and if there
- 3:51weren't any good Nicolas Cage scripts coming
- 3:52up, might as well just die. Yeah. He wasn't touched
- 3:57and left behind. No. I mean, I would argue that
- 4:00this wasn't a good Nicolas Cage script. Yeah,
- 4:03no, it wasn't. It is a movie starring Nicolas
- 4:07Cage. It is, which is why we're talking about
- 4:09it. Yeah, and Ben Mendelsohn with dark hair.
- 4:12Yeah, that was weird. And a mustache. His mustache
- 4:15was kind of off -putting, especially in their
- 4:18weird like pantyhats. Yeah, his weird mask panty
- 4:21face. Very strange. I wanted somebody to have
- 4:25like the lacy pattern still like pressed into
- 4:28their skin after they take it off. This has always
- 4:31been my issue with the fucking like Batman style
- 4:35like cowl for superheroes. Like you'd get weird
- 4:39tan lines, wouldn't you? Not if you fight crime
- 4:42at night. Yeah, they're night workers mostly.
- 4:44Not all of them. Well, how many of them do operate
- 4:47during the daytime? Or just like the domino,
- 4:50like people who wear domino masks. Like it's,
- 4:52it's just like you'd get tan lines is all I'm
- 4:54saying. You could use baby block all the time.
- 4:58The super thick, creamy. Yeah. Thick and creamy.
- 5:03Blast it all over your face. Like the time you
- 5:06did white face in Vegas. yeah it was just like
- 5:09peter's white face i i didn't get sunburned so
- 5:12who's laughing now bitches yeah not the sun yeah
- 5:16loser couldn't get me uh real quick before we
- 5:20go any further welcome back to cage magical and
- 5:22roundabout we meet nicholas cage i'm your host
- 5:24sean here with my co -host nick and our producer
- 5:28nick peter hello and we're talking about the
- 5:32movie trespass just so all of that previous preamble
- 5:35makes any sense I mean, yeah, people obviously
- 5:38knew what we were talking about, right? It's
- 5:40in the title of the title. Yeah, there's that.
- 5:45Who knows? People maybe do shuffle on our stuff
- 5:48and didn't notice. That'd be weird. Yeah, I think
- 5:51the only one who would maybe do that is Bill.
- 5:54Bill, maybe Bill, Bill, Bill. So what do you
- 5:59guys think of this movie? I mean, it's rated
- 6:01like. Exactly what I think about this movie,
- 6:04but like just under mid. Yeah, it's like a 48
- 6:08% or something like that. I feel that is extremely
- 6:12generous. None of the performances were bad.
- 6:15None of them were necessarily great either. None
- 6:19of them were good. There was one too many betrayals
- 6:23slash twists slash not really betrayal, but then
- 6:26it is a betrayal, but then it doesn't matter
- 6:28because Ben Mendelsohn's dead five minutes later.
- 6:31Yeah, I thought all the twists and everything
- 6:34were relatively understandable. Like, I wasn't
- 6:38going through trying to think ahead on this film,
- 6:40but every time something would happen, it's like,
- 6:42oh, yeah, that makes sense. I'm not shocked by
- 6:45that development. But, like, I'm not shocked
- 6:48by any of the development. Rotten Tomatoes does
- 6:51have this as a 9%, so... Wow! Skills balance.
- 6:54That's better. I'm not saying that I was surprised
- 6:58by any of the double crosses. I was just like,
- 7:01Cool. It's like, all right, we're going to put
- 7:04you to sleep with this sleeping drug. It's not
- 7:06a sleeping drug. It's a powerful paralytic. Yeah.
- 7:11Wait, no, it's not. It's actually just the sleeping
- 7:13drug again. But it doesn't matter because we're
- 7:15going to shoot that guy. But before he dies,
- 7:17he's going to tell Ben Mendelsohn how his brother
- 7:19betrayed him before this movie started. But five
- 7:22minutes later, they're going to kill Ben Mendelsohn.
- 7:25there's gonna be no conflict there there's a
- 7:27lot of dying really rapidly in this movie they
- 7:31don't really like break it out over a long period
- 7:34of time it's sort of just like oh now's the time
- 7:36we're done with these characters yeah all the
- 7:38bad people are dead now and there's the last
- 7:42one okay cool i will say the one chuckle i got
- 7:45out of this is when the daughter like careens
- 7:49the car into the phone pole with the met with
- 7:54the um Yeah, the bass head. What's her name?
- 7:57Petal. Petal. Oh, God. What a dumb name. I fucking
- 8:01hated it every time they said her name. But all
- 8:04I could think of was like, I went through a windshield.
- 8:08Damn, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, but she definitely
- 8:11gave a fuck. Oh, yeah. Also, Sean, Taco just
- 8:14walked by in the background, and all I could
- 8:17think about was the sex worker in Joe who crawls
- 8:20out for a second. Get off the damn floor. Taco's
- 8:25my cat for anyone who doesn't know that. All
- 8:29right. Who wants to give a quick synopsis of
- 8:31this movie? Nicolas Cage and Nicole Kidman hate
- 8:34each other slash don't. They have a daughter
- 8:37who hates them slash doesn't. They get home invaded
- 8:40because Nicolas Cage has a bunch of diamonds,
- 8:42but doesn't. And then everyone shoots themselves
- 8:46and then there's money, but it's on fire. And
- 8:48then the movie's over. But which ending is that?
- 8:52I don't remember. I watched this. I just got
- 8:55done watching this movie 20 minutes ago and I
- 8:57can tell you fuck all that happened in it. So
- 9:00the crux, the crux of the plot is they're so
- 9:04far underwater on this house that Nick Cage is
- 9:08like selling off her jewelry to like store a
- 9:11bunch of money to like hide a bunch of money
- 9:13from the bank. So when they declare bankruptcy,
- 9:16it's going to be fine. And some criminals know
- 9:20this somehow. But one of the criminals was sleeping
- 9:24with Nicole Kidman, but wasn't. He's just crazy.
- 9:28Yeah, he was a creep. That was the only surprise
- 9:31in this movie that I was like, oh, that's almost
- 9:33interesting because he just sort of assumes that
- 9:36he's in some sort of relationship because he's
- 9:38off his meds. Yeah, that is the best description
- 9:42of this movie. Almost interesting. Off his meds.
- 9:46Off his meds. Yeah. I don't know. I didn't I
- 9:49didn't hate this movie. I think it was sort of
- 9:51like nothing. I mean, it didn't leave a bad taste
- 9:55in my mouth. It just left no taste. I didn't
- 9:59feel like I wasted my time watching it, but I
- 10:02didn't really gain anything from watching it.
- 10:04It was a fine film. That's that's the worst for
- 10:07me, though. Like, I mean, it's not even so bad
- 10:11that I'm going to enjoy that. I am enjoying that
- 10:13aspect of it. Every five minutes, there's some
- 10:17type of double cross or like twist, but only
- 10:22to be undone by the next one. Yeah, I think this
- 10:26would be a great Sunday afternoon TNT film. Oh,
- 10:29yeah. Like, that's where I expect to watch this.
- 10:32Yeah, I can't imagine this movie with commercials.
- 10:36Yeah, how would you follow the plot? Just there's
- 10:39so much of it that could be taken out and it
- 10:41wouldn't matter at all. Like, yeah, but at some
- 10:44point you. cease to have a film too much of a
- 10:48you just have a long episode the crooks to take
- 10:51out the marriage no i'm saying you take it like
- 10:54so there's a whole thing with ben mendelsohn
- 10:56who's trying to get this money because it turns
- 10:59out that he's into like he got a bunch of drugs
- 11:02stolen from a cartel or some criminal yeah he's
- 11:07a ding dong he bought too many drugs and then
- 11:09the drugs got stolen by the cartel he bought
- 11:12it from right And his dumb brother. Supposedly,
- 11:16that's the thing is like there's no conflict
- 11:19gained there because the guy who's like really
- 11:23running the show tends Ben Mendelsohn that right
- 11:25before he dies. And then Ben Mendelsohn and his
- 11:28brother never have any conflict over it. So there
- 11:31is no point to that being in the film. Who shot
- 11:34Mendelsohn? I don't even remember. The brother.
- 11:37Oh, yeah. Yeah, because he was going to kill
- 11:40Nicole Kidman's. yeah the love of his life right
- 11:43yeah yeah so there's just like there's so much
- 11:46just circular like we're gonna build suspense
- 11:49we're gonna build conflict but we're not gonna
- 11:51do anything with that conflict i have a question
- 11:53about nail guns okay that was a pneumatic nail
- 11:57gun so you needed the air compressor turned on
- 11:59for it to work okay did they do that uh apparently
- 12:02in the end he turned it on it was not a very
- 12:04noisy air compressor so i wouldn't say it was
- 12:07a very powerful nail but Could you shoot a nail
- 12:11gun nail from a distance of six feet through
- 12:15someone's foot? Six feet depends on the PSI of
- 12:19the nail gun. Sure. But I've shot them across
- 12:22rooms and I've shot nails from the stage to the
- 12:25back of an auditorium before, too. OK, that's
- 12:27pretty good. So you can travel far, I will say.
- 12:30So you if you really jacked the PSI. Yeah. Yeah.
- 12:34Mythbusters tested this. They don't come out
- 12:36straight once they leave the thing. They like.
- 12:38tumble so it wouldn't have gone through they've
- 12:40got like a sail or whatever behind like a little
- 12:43parachute interesting so realistically he couldn't
- 12:47have like nailed the guy's foot to the floor
- 12:50but he probably could have punctured his foot
- 12:54yeah like he was stuck to the floor which is
- 12:56with a i mean with a lucky shot and you know
- 13:00maybe not with that style of nail but if you
- 13:02had a nail that didn't have like because i mean
- 13:05it's a nail gun you don't need a head on it necessarily
- 13:07so like finishing nails something with a small
- 13:11head would probably have a better chance at shooting
- 13:14straight he's had a big head on them though because
- 13:16you could see the nails clearly oh yeah no like
- 13:19clearly it was a made for film nail stylistically
- 13:22that made sense for this but yeah it just that
- 13:24was one of those things where i was like i see
- 13:26using the nail gun as a way to like fuck that
- 13:28guy up a little bit but to pin him to the ground
- 13:31seemed really ridiculous it's like get the claw
- 13:34hammer like i would man love to see a more realistic
- 13:38approach to it where they just use it as a distraction
- 13:40because like i mean i personally have been shot
- 13:44with a nail gun from about like 25 feet just
- 13:46because we wanted to know yeah where did you
- 13:49get hit I turned my back. So that just hit me
- 13:52in like the shoulder. Nice. You know, safety
- 13:55first. It's still a construction site. Sure.
- 13:58I wore a hard hat. I wasn't going to become like
- 14:02that guy from Happy Gilmore. Oh, that's right.
- 14:04Yeah. I mean, it just felt like somebody was
- 14:06throwing nails at me at that range. But that
- 14:08was an electric one, too. It wasn't wasn't the
- 14:11same. I feel like we have to test this theory.
- 14:14I'm down with that. Yeah. I can secure everything
- 14:17we need. This is the most doable dumb decision
- 14:22we've ever come up with. Let's do this live at
- 14:26the Beacon. I don't think the Beacon's insurance
- 14:30is ready for that. Well, especially because we'll
- 14:32have everyone in the audience take bets. Yeah.
- 14:36It's got as much illegal activity going on as
- 14:38we possibly can. Yeah. The first three rows may
- 14:41get wet. I want to talk about. How fucking that
- 14:47house was Nicole Kidman. She designs the house.
- 14:51Is she MC Escher? Because there are so many times
- 14:53in this film where someone will be running from
- 14:56a criminal and then that very same criminal will
- 15:00be in front of them. Oh, I thought you were going
- 15:01to say on the ceiling. Oh, yeah, you're right.
- 15:04I mean, there is it must just be like a very
- 15:05open floor plan because you're trying to dash
- 15:08away and hide. And then instantly the person
- 15:09that you're running away from is right there.
- 15:11It's like. This house sucks. Yeah, it strikes
- 15:13me as the kind of house that doesn't believe
- 15:15in doors. Yeah, for sure. Also, what was up with
- 15:18the kids door like lock? Like it had a pretty
- 15:21intense lock on it. Yeah. Oh, having a deadbolt.
- 15:24Yeah. Weird. I thought about that, too. Yeah,
- 15:29I don't want to be like a really weird, restrictive
- 15:30parent in my future, but like that seems fucked
- 15:34up. Yeah. You're not going to deadbolt your door
- 15:36on me. Yeah, it's unnecessary. Yeah. Also with.
- 15:40Here's something that concerned me with their
- 15:42security systems and everything. Why were there
- 15:45no like keypads up in like rooms and stuff? No
- 15:49shit. Like any sort of panic option. You have
- 15:51that deadbolt. That's a perfect opportunity for
- 15:55something script wise for her, like the kid to
- 15:57get back to her room, lock it and start punching
- 16:00in the code. Yeah. Hit the, hit the alarm code
- 16:02or something like that. Yeah. It was cool when
- 16:05they threw the chair through the window though.
- 16:07That was cool. I like that. their passcode is
- 16:10stupid yeah diamond i saw it before they said
- 16:15it i just saw it in the corner of the screen
- 16:16it was like that's fucking stupid and then they
- 16:19had to say it out loud and i was like oh of course
- 16:22they have to say it out loud but now that was
- 16:24their trigger password right that was the one
- 16:26that called the cops uh that's the one that they
- 16:28say to tell the cops everything is fine oh that's
- 16:31the we're all good here yeah yeah all good diamond
- 16:36that's like if i chose a hot dog that's super
- 16:39predictable i kind of i kind of want that to
- 16:42be your your safe word always oh yeah that's
- 16:46my proceed predictable it's like well we're all
- 16:48good keep saying keep going hot dog i'm dipping
- 16:51your toes in this yogurt hot dog hot diggity
- 16:55dog oh snap I was talking to Josh the other day
- 16:59about the hot yogurt toes, and he was just like,
- 17:01that is easily one of the most repulsive things
- 17:03that I can ever possibly imagine. I mean, he
- 17:09doesn't like most dairy things, so it makes sense.
- 17:12But yeah, it is pretty, pretty weird. That's
- 17:15a weird thing to have to get over Jennifer Beals.
- 17:17I was just thinking, do they make non -dairy
- 17:20yogurt? And what would it be made out of? They
- 17:22do. They make like cashew yogurts and shit like
- 17:25that. Huh. Fogurt. F -A -U -X. Coconut milk yogurt.
- 17:31Yeah, they do coconut. I guess it makes sense,
- 17:34but I just don't understand how it ferments.
- 17:37Maybe it's just coconut milk with a thickener.
- 17:39I got a thickener. Yeah. Put that shit on my
- 17:43toes, you'll get thickened. Thick as a brick.
- 17:49Oh, man. I also want to point out that it bugs
- 17:52me. The daughter crashed the car. No airbags.
- 17:56fancy cars don't need airbags they assume that
- 17:58you're just gonna die you can always turn the
- 18:00airbags off too true it's it's surprising that
- 18:04she didn't get like grievously hurt in that too
- 18:07yeah i mean all she did was like have her seat
- 18:10belt on and undid the seat belt her pedal she
- 18:13put the pedal to the metal what about the doofy
- 18:18kid at the party yeah he was something else uh
- 18:22that scene was just so dumb too that kid wanted
- 18:28it so bad like i don't know the whole concept
- 18:31or idea of like this party scene is so stupid
- 18:34like she goes so far out of her way to go with
- 18:37her little hussy friend can i say that you can
- 18:40i can say that uh because she's a minor proceed
- 18:49Well, we can speak ill of minors who engage in
- 18:52sexual activity because their souls are morally
- 18:54decrepit. They always are going to die in these
- 18:57movies. It's just the way of it. She fucked up.
- 18:59So she goes to this party with her little friend
- 19:03and completely like no need for the friend anymore.
- 19:07Once they're at the party, then there's just
- 19:09the kid who's like, I want to show you something.
- 19:11And she's not immediately skeeved out by that.
- 19:13And it's like, come look at my dad's money drug
- 19:16gun safe. it's like okay and she's like i'm just
- 19:21gonna call a cab and go home cool so like all
- 19:24of this scene was just to establish that there's
- 19:26a kid whose dad has a money gun drug safe yep
- 19:30oh cool it gets it gets dumber than that though
- 19:33when you think about this was all just an extended
- 19:35way to justify the car crash scene because they
- 19:40had to like swerve earlier in the film to go
- 19:43to the party to see the money so she could say
- 19:46that some kid has money and it's just all so
- 19:49pointless contrived yeah now to be fair if we
- 19:56had gotten through the film and that scene didn't
- 19:58exist and she just was like oh i know where we
- 20:02can get that money and then took her out somewhere
- 20:04to get into a car accident it's like okay well
- 20:07that's also kind of a wet fart I mean, I guess
- 20:11the conflict with Petal could have gone a different
- 20:13direction. Could have. Yeah. But you'd have to
- 20:15establish the reason for that somehow. Also,
- 20:18this is one of those movies where like nobody
- 20:21is likable. This just seems like a script that
- 20:23never got edited. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. You have
- 20:25to put a lot of work into like jumping through
- 20:29mental hoops for a lot of this film. And it's
- 20:32really just because. The footage given is the
- 20:34footage taken. Like there was no, no effort to
- 20:38make a better film. I don't think it didn't seem
- 20:40like it. Yeah. When was the last, when was the
- 20:43last big writers? Not the most recent one, but
- 20:44the one before this writer strike. Fuck. I don't
- 20:48know. I mean, it feels like they happen every
- 20:51four or five years on contract cycles. Yeah.
- 20:54There are some like the major ones. I don't know.
- 20:57Cause there was the one that happened during
- 20:58lost. There was another one. I don't know. five
- 21:02years after that uh when did this movie come
- 21:05out again 2011 2011 do we know when it started
- 21:09filming well that was a weird one too i don't
- 21:12know if you guys saw that but there was a delay
- 21:14during the process because cage quit for a bit
- 21:18because he didn't want to be the dad he wanted
- 21:21to be one of the burglars well midway through
- 21:24filming or something like that he's like clearly
- 21:27this is a better role yeah and leo schreiber
- 21:29was gonna take his spot and then i guess they
- 21:32coerced him back or something got sweet talked
- 21:35by schumacher well i mean i wonder if they just
- 21:38getting him back probably i wonder how much of
- 21:42the budget that just ate into just because yeah
- 21:44this all seems like it was filmed in order and
- 21:47not edited Here's a good little trivia bit for
- 21:50you guys. This film earned a Razzie award for
- 21:52Nicolas Cage's worst actor. So one, can you think
- 21:56of the two other movies that he also earned that
- 21:59award? Left Behind? Nope. Good guess, but no.
- 22:049 -11? Nope. 9 -11 movie came out. I guess you
- 22:11can't give that movie a Razzie. That's the same
- 22:12film. Okay. We have watched both of these. One
- 22:18of them was a bonus. One of them was a canonical
- 22:20one. Okay, so a Wicker Man? Nope. No. No. Shocking.
- 22:25It's one that we've definitely talked about a
- 22:28lot. No, it's not even that one. What is it?
- 22:33Drive Angry. Okay. And Season of the Witch. Oh.
- 22:39Yeah. Yeah. But so this one earned a Razzie and
- 22:43it lost. to another movie that we've talked about
- 22:46on here that is unrelated to Nick Cage, but we
- 22:49definitely spent a stupid amount of time talking
- 22:52about. It is a Adam Sandler movie. Eight Crazy
- 22:56Nights. Happy Gilmore? No, no. Grown Ups? Grown
- 23:01Ups 2. It's an Adam Sandler and Adam Sandler
- 23:04movie. Oh. Oh, Jack and Jill. Jack and Jill.
- 23:09Did Adam Sandler win Razzie for Jack or Jill?
- 23:15Both, I think the worst actor and worst actress.
- 23:18I mean, I kind of hope that's what that would
- 23:23be pretty amazing. So I'm just going to say,
- 23:26yeah, you can listen or you can skip this film.
- 23:29Yeah, I mean, if you want to see this film, just
- 23:32watch Uncut Gems. But then again, if you have
- 23:36heart problems, don't watch Uncut Gems. Because
- 23:39that was one of the most stressful movies I think
- 23:41I've watched since The Descent. I really want
- 23:44to watch that one. Ooh, The Descent was a really
- 23:46stressful movie. I have claustrophobia. I was
- 23:50going to cry. If you want to watch a better home
- 23:52invasion movie with a great mustache, The Ref
- 23:55with Dennis Leary. It's a Christmas film. Holy
- 24:02shit. Spacey's in it, so you might have to give
- 24:04it a miss for that if you're not willing to watch
- 24:06Spacey. So Jack and Jill fact that was nominated
- 24:11for a record 12 Razzies in all 10 categories.
- 24:15And it was the first film to sweep all of them.
- 24:18Wow. 12 Razzies in 10 categories. What categories
- 24:22did it get double nominated for? Well, it did.
- 24:25It did take worst actor and worst actress. Yes.
- 24:29Okay. That sale sounds like two categories to
- 24:32me. Yeah. I don't know what the extra ones were.
- 24:34I mean. The ones that it was part of were Worst
- 24:38Picture, Worst Director, Worst Actor, Worst Actress
- 24:40and Worst Screenplay, which are really the most
- 24:41important ones. Right. They could have had double
- 24:44nominations for like Worst Actor or something.
- 24:46Sure. Yeah. Did he go and did he go and collect
- 24:50his Razzies in person? Somehow I feel like people
- 24:53don't go to the Razzies, but I don't know. Fucking
- 24:56Halle Berry did. You'd have to be a very good
- 24:59sport to go, I suppose. What'd she go for? Catwoman?
- 25:03Catwoman, yeah. Yeah. And it was after she won
- 25:06her Oscar, so she just gave a version of her
- 25:07Oscar speech. She wore a gown and everything.
- 25:10I kind of love that. Yeah, that's terrific. That's
- 25:13pretty fucking great. Well, yeah, I mean, I agree
- 25:16with your assessment, Sean. There's not much
- 25:17to say about this movie that's commendable. I
- 25:20love the direction. I love him walking around
- 25:24the house with that coat over his shoulder. That's
- 25:26actually the only thing I'm going to say I love
- 25:28about this film. Yeah, but it was just so dumb.
- 25:31He spends an entire scene walking around his
- 25:34house with coat over his shoulder, phone rings
- 25:36and everything. Yeah. And he just never sets
- 25:40it down like a normal person. That was really
- 25:43weird. Yeah. I mean, that again goes to the point
- 25:45of like, I don't think they had anyone on staff
- 25:47who was actually doing anything in terms of editing
- 25:49or. producing or there was no like continuity
- 25:52manager i'm sure so it's like just carry it nobody
- 25:56eats or drinks anything because we don't want
- 25:58to refill glasses oh the only other good thing
- 26:01that i was thinking about so the the like lead
- 26:04bad guy that isn't ben mendelsohn ty i was like
- 26:08why do i know that guy's fucking face and he's
- 26:10been in like a ton of movies as just muscle or
- 26:13a tough or whatever But he was a character in
- 26:16the movie Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which I don't
- 26:18know if you guys have seen that one, but great
- 26:20movie. Should watch. Very good. The younger brother?
- 26:24No, no. It's the the other the like muscle guy.
- 26:28He's blonde. That brother had been in some other
- 26:31stuff, too. I can't remember now. What's the
- 26:34actor's name? Dash Mihawk or Mihawk. His name's
- 26:39Dash. That's unfortunate. I mean, it's Daschle,
- 26:41but yeah. I mean, still, that's a shit name,
- 26:44too. Daschle's dumber. Daschle is dumber. Yeah,
- 26:48Cam Gigandet is the other one. Oh, he was born
- 26:52in Tacoma. Yeah, oh, okay. That's what I was
- 26:54trying to remember. Oh, he's a co -owner of the
- 26:56Rock Pizza franchise. Yeah. Hey, all you kids
- 27:03in Auburn, even you can grow up to be in forgettable
- 27:05films. Just don't give up on your dreams. Yeah,
- 27:10you can be in Two Sinners and a Mule. Or Blowback,
- 27:14which is definitely a documentary. Yeah. The
- 27:18old quid pro quo porno. Last Shootout, also one.
- 27:25Without Remorse, also one. bad johnson yes sir
- 27:31oh my god every one of his films is just a chuck
- 27:35tingle film free ride plush turbo oh no cam don't
- 27:45do it oh my god there's always money in the banana
- 27:48stand there was money in that wall yeah oh man
- 27:51his brother lit up quick oh yeah oh yeah he burned
- 27:56so fast i'm like wow i mean they had like chucked
- 28:00you know kerosene on him or some shit but like
- 28:02no he just poured that onto the floor and it
- 28:04just like went over to the money yeah oh right
- 28:07and then he went and reached for the money and
- 28:08then also just was on fire really fast no she
- 28:12pushed uh nicole kidman pushes him into the fire
- 28:14even still like i don't think you just ignite
- 28:18no he gets shot in the neck nick case shoots
- 28:21him in the neck and then he falls over into the
- 28:22fire yeah which is actually the second instance
- 28:26for me this week Where a piece of fiction concluded
- 28:31with a bad guy burning on a pile of cash. What
- 28:34was the other one? The first Jack Reacher book.
- 28:37Oh, they're easy to listen to while I work. I've
- 28:41never read any of those. You know, if you like
- 28:43kind of pulpy. I mean, I sort of generally do.
- 28:47Those are sort of my airplane books. Yeah, it's
- 28:49good investigator kind of like, oh, who done
- 28:51it? Figure out a mystery. Now, isn't Reacher
- 28:54supposed to be sort of like an everyman? He's
- 28:56not. Well, he's retired military police. OK,
- 28:59so in the Amazon show, he's huge. He's a fucking
- 29:03like, well, the character is six foot five. OK,
- 29:06in the books. There we go. Yeah. So then it was
- 29:08weird that Tom Cruise played him. Yeah. So weird
- 29:11that Tom Cruise plays him. OK, that makes more
- 29:13sense. Lee Child, the author, has been like,
- 29:15yeah, I mean, physically, Tom Cruise is not the
- 29:19character or the actor for the role. Yeah. Wasn't
- 29:22Krasinski also one? Uh, no, he plays John, uh,
- 29:27Jack Ryan. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. Uh, from the
- 29:31Tom Clancy books. Gotcha. Like Harrison Ford
- 29:34and, uh, Alec Baldwin before him. Yeah, exactly.
- 29:37Same body type. Same person. Chris Pine. Chris
- 29:40Pine was one too. Oh yeah. The last, uh, Jack
- 29:44official Jack Ryan film was a Chris Pine movie.
- 29:48Interesting. Also entertaining. yeah i think
- 29:54about chris pine every once in a while just in
- 29:56that scene in the dnd movie where he just sort
- 29:58of like glitches and melts i just i just re -watched
- 30:04that movie it's still it still holds up it's
- 30:06a great film jonathan man jonathan i think it's
- 30:12is it uh sean levy is doing a forgotten realms
- 30:19dnd show for netflix Oh, yeah, I heard about
- 30:23that. For one of the streaming services. Yeah.
- 30:25That's cool. Which I'm here for. Fucking... Maybe
- 30:30we'll get a fucking... Oh, God, what's his name?
- 30:34Like, the one, the drow... Drist. With the panther
- 30:38and the two swords. Drist. Durden. Drist Durden
- 30:43with his swords. I think one of them's just named
- 30:47Tingle, or Tinkle. Yeah, it's like Tinkle and...
- 30:52It's like burning death and tinkle. Tinkle and
- 30:57drip. Oh, man. Give you the old slash and clap.
- 31:02Slash and clap, tinkle and drip. Ooh, baby. And
- 31:06that's why you listen to Cage Match. Gonorrhea
- 31:09references. All right. Any other thoughts on
- 31:12this one? No. No. All right. Well, thank you
- 31:18all for listening. If you want to support us
- 31:20anywhere or talk to us, we are cage underscore
- 31:21match underscore pod or cage match pod on Patreon.
- 31:25Thanks to our Sparkle Buddies, Josh, Sean, Josie,
- 31:27Rico, Matt, Adam, and Bill. And to our cage dancers,
- 31:30Ira, John, Freeman, Lance, Nathan, and Cameron.
- 31:33So next up will actually be the sort of D &D
- 31:38tabletop game that we're going to do with the
- 31:40final Foreskin characters. And then it is the
- 31:43big finale, April 12th in Seattle. If you want
- 31:47to come watch the two final movies and have some
- 31:51mimosas and bagels and bond me and other shit,
- 31:53come join us and we will have a real dumb time.
- 31:57Bill. Bill. Bill. Bye bye. Bye bye.