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After 7 Years of Anxiety Recovery Work, I Finally Understand Why People Stay Stuck · Bye Bye Panic

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: After seven years of helping thousands of people recover from anxiety, panic, and chronic symptoms, I finally understand the one thing that keeps people stuck.
• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not how long they've struggled, it's not their symptoms, and it's not their effort.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: What ironically keeps people stuck is chasing recovery itself.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you don't fix this, no matter how hard you try, it won't work.
• 0:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because your benchmark is still how you feel.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I want to break down what's going on and how to avoid this mistake.
• 0:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Number one.
• 0:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Recovery isn't a return of comfort.
• 0:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's the end of needing it.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: So take a moment and ask yourself, how do you define recovery?
• 0:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: What does anxiety recovery mean to you?
• 0:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Many people would say anxiety recovery is feeling like their comfort has restored or that these symptoms have gone away.
• 0:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're back to their old self.
• 0:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: And while that makes a lot of sense, because what you're going through is very uncomfortable, it's very debilitating.
• 1:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whenever you make recovery, the focus of feeling better, what this does is that this makes you still internally focused.
• 1:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: you monitor how well you're doing based on how you're internally feeling, and that's the same issue that's keeping you stuck.
• 1:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Think about it this way.
• 1:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you were dealing with intense symptoms, panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, intense physical symptoms, you may have gone to your doctors, you may have gone to your therapist, and what they fundamentally told you was, hey,
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: But there's not much else you can do.
• 1:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is something you're just going to have to live with.
• 1:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you had heard that news, like I had, you might have felt like your life was over.
• 1:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so when you start watching content like this, that talks about the fact that you can overcome these symptoms, that recovery is possible.
• 1:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: You start thinking, okay, what do I need to do to make these symptoms go away?
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: But recovery is not about making the symptoms go away.
• 2:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: it's something much more.
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Recovery isn't defined by what symptoms you're experiencing, but what you do next.
• 2:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: How you respond to those symptoms?
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: When your nervous system is stuck on the survival mode, when you're experiencing these symptoms that the doctors don't really have an answer for or just say you're healthy, well what's going on is that your nervous system has become
• 2:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: small stressors create a hyperactive response from your nervous system.
• 2:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is why basic things that you've done in the past will create such an exaggerated response from your nervous system.
• 2:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Something easy like going to the grocery store might feel like now you're climbing Mount Everest.
• 2:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: or things that you could do effortlessly now feel like a huge monumental task because these symptoms are so intense.
• 2:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so part of the recovery journey is learning how to de-sensitize your nervous system.
• 2:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: As you learn how to de-sensitize your nervous system and bring your nervous system back to baseline while the symptoms end up going away.
• 3:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: The issue that people make
• 3:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when it comes to recovery, your benchmark is not how you are feeling.
• 3:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's how you are responding to the anxiety.
• 3:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: So whenever you're feeling panic attacks, whenever you're feeling intense symptoms, whenever you're getting feelings of dizziness, intrusive thoughts, deep personalization, de-realization, it's not feeling ghost sensations.
• 3:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's about what you do next, do you react to it, do you fight it, do you fix it, do you fear it, do you get frustrated on it, do you get focused on it, or do you allow it to be there and still choose to respond?
• 3:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: That could be going back to work, letting the symptoms be there, not fighting it.
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Letting yourself know that this is just adrenaline burning itself off and choosing to focus on external things.
• 3:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you do this, when you focus on responding, what happens is that your nervous system learns that these sensations are no longer dangerous, that the alarm system, the smoke alarm system, is recalibrating on its own.
• 4:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the mistake people make is that they measure whether they have a setback, whether they have a trigger, whether they have a symptom, and what they do is that they
• 4:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the key is flipped.
• 4:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's about focusing on how you respond to these sensations.
• 4:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: A great analogy to this is like sleeping.
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of people that are struggling with the hypersensitive nervous system also struggle with sleep.
• 4:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so a lot of people try to sleep by trying to force themselves to sleep.
• 4:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: They might be focusing on sleep hygiene.
• 4:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: They might be focusing on all these different things to sleep better, avoiding your phone, all these things.
• 4:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's fine.
• 4:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you're monitoring your progress of sleep based on are you sleeping or not, well, that keeps your nervous system on higher alert mode.
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the main focus of sleep is learning to let go.
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sleep happens when you let go.
• 5:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your nervous system calms down on its own.
• 5:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you're monitoring progress based on whether you've slept or not, well, this only keeps your nervous system on alert.
• 5:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Recovery is the same way.
• 5:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're monitoring recovery based on how you feel all the time, well, that's just going to keep you more internally focused.
• 5:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: That is going to be a magnifying glass on your symptoms, and whatever you focus on grows more.
• 5:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you'll actually be going back into the journey.
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: So monitoring your progress based on your symptoms doesn't help, in fact, it makes you more hyper focused on what's going on.
• 5:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: But overcoming insomnia is not about whether you sleep or not is letting go of the pressure that even if you sleep or not, it's totally okay.
• 5:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Recovery is the exact same way.
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Ironically, whenever you take the pressure off sleep, when you tell yourself, hey, if I sleep, great, if I don't sleep, that's all right.
• 6:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: You let the panic attacks come, you let all the feelings come in, you don't do anything, you let it burn itself out, will sleep comes as a consequence.
• 6:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: And in the same way, these symptoms you're experiencing go away as a consequence as well.
• 6:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when you make that your soul focus, whenever you make that your aim, it doesn't work, because you're still internally focused.
• 6:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: A huge part of this is making sure that you focus externally.
• 6:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Once you understand the mechanics of anxiety, then it's about learning to allow this sensation to be there.
• 6:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whether it's there or not, it doesn't matter.
• 6:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then you focus on what do I want to do?
• 6:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: What would I be doing if I didn't have these symptoms?
• 6:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: And doing that, showing your nervous system that you can do hard things.
• 6:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can do things even while you're feeling uncomfortable.
• 6:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: that lets the nervous system relax.
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: That lets the nervous system de-sensitize.
• 6:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not overnight, but in time your nervous system learns, hey, we can turn down these alarms.
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you're going to live life and always checking in, is the anxiety there?
• 7:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is the symptoms there?
• 7:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is the panic attack back?
• 7:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're monitoring that way, you're still internally focused.
• 7:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now many people think recovery is just acceptance alone, but I want to go a layer deeper.
• 7:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this leads me to point two, which is recovery is a return of agency.
• 7:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Many people think if I can just allow my sentence to be there, he'll go away, and eventually I'll just be back to normal.
• 7:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's partially true.
• 7:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it's important to understand that it's not the anxiety alone that you're struggling with.
• 7:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whenever you're telling someone that someone's dealing with anxiety, they often think that what someone with anxiety is dealing with is sheer terror, intense discomfort.
• 7:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And while it is those things, there's also a deeper layer, which is no matter what you do, you can't seem to escape this.
• 7:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: No matter how hard you fight, no matter how hard you try, no matter what things you do, you can't seem to let this go.
• 8:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: That feeling of helplessness.
• 8:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: That feeling like you're at the effect of all this, that no matter how hard you try, this doesn't go away.
• 8:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is also a deeper layer of what's happening.
• 8:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not just the symptoms, it's not just the panic attacks, but it's the fact that no matter what you do, you can't seem to do anything to make this go away.
• 8:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that helplessness, that feeling like no matter what I do, can naturally feel like you're at the effect of things.
• 8:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: So recovery is not just about allowing these symptoms to be there.
• 8:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's a big part of it, but it's about regaining your agency, recognizing that you always have the ability to respond.
• 8:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: To respond to your thoughts, to respond to your symptoms, to respond to your feelings, and fundamentally, to respond to external circumstances.
• 8:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Recovery is more than just you feeling better.
• 8:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your ability to regain dignity, then no matter what is happening, you still have a choice in the future.
• 9:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: What you do right now, kit influence the future.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you were like me and you dealt with anxiety, and you felt like no matter what you did, you couldn't make this go away.
• 9:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, learning that your response influences the future is very empowering.
• 9:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I might be feeling anxiety.
• 9:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I might be feeling panic.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: I might be feeling intense symptoms.
• 9:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: But now what, what do I do?
• 9:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I can focus on responding right now and choosing that while that this is here and while this is uncomfortable, I'm choosing to respond, let this be there without fighting it and continuing on with my day.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Once I do this enough and I see that what I'm doing is actually helping, that it is progressing my future, that I can influence my future, that is an empowering portion of recovery
• 9:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's the thing about anxiety recovery, it's not just feeling better, but it's about regaining that agency, the ability that I can control my destiny, that I have dignity in this, that I'm not just at the effect of this, that I'm not helpless, but I'm an active participant in this, and I can do things that can influence my future.
• 10:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: That empowering feeling is what
• 10:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's recognizing that what I'm dealing with right now is just that my nervous system is sensitized.
• 10:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: As it's desensitizing, then the symptoms end up going away.
• 10:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm doing that actively by how I show up, by how I respond, by how I allow the symptoms to be there.
• 10:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: So recovery is not just acceptance.
• 10:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's acceptance and responsibility.
• 10:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, when people think responsibility, they think, oh, like somehow, this is my fault that I am doing this to myself.
• 10:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: and I wouldn't look at responsibility that way.
• 10:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Responsibility is fundamentally your ability to respond.
• 10:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: That no matter what happens, you always have a choice.
• 10:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: People think when it comes to recovery that if I just had the keys to healing, of course I would focus on recovering getting better.
• 11:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Responsibility gives you that key.
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: It shows you that what you've been doing,
• 11:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: indirectly or directly has perpetuated the cycle.
• 11:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now that you're aware of it, how do you respond in this moment?
• 11:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Regaining that autonomy gives you those keys and shows you that no matter what happens right now, I have the choice to respond.
• 11:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that radical responsibility is very empowering because that means whether it's anxiety or anything else in my life that happens, whether it's in my control or not,
• 11:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you realize your response can influence the future, you're no longer powerless.
• 11:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: This in itself inspires hope.
• 11:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, this all sounds great and theory, but I want to give you some frameworks of how to practically apply this.
• 11:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, the way we look at it is when we're helping people own the recovery journey, when we're helping people decentatize the nervous system,
• 11:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're not monitoring based on whether this symptom is there or not.
• 12:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: A great framework that we use is whenever somebody has let's say a panic attack come in.
• 12:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: This panic attack would have knocked them out.
• 12:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: They would have went back home, stopped leaving their house, they would have gone into panic spiraling, they might have been Google searching their symptoms, asking AI, getting reassurances, they may have been doing that six months ago.
• 12:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And they might be making progress and they are making progress, but let's say that panic attack comes back.
• 12:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: how do they respond?
• 12:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do they go back into that spiral mode?
• 12:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do they go back into that panic mode?
• 12:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe they felt a little thrown off in the moment.
• 12:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe they panic for just a moment, but they were able to bounce back really quick.
• 12:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, if they're doing that, that's showing us that they're heading in the right direction.
• 12:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now what's ironic is that because they're able to respond quickly, the panic attack ironically becomes shorter and over time it becomes less
• 12:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the measurement isn't, whether I had a panic attack or not, but how quickly was I able to reorient.
• 13:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is the shift from going from recovery, meaning I'm trying to chase comfort to recovery, which is even if I feel this in stations, I focus on responding.
• 13:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: that is the leading indicator.
• 13:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: If the leading indicator can be how well you're responding, the symptoms go away on their own.
• 13:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, when we're helping people on the healing journey, we don't do anything about the symptoms.
• 13:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: What regardless of the symptoms are experiencing, not that we don't care, but it's not really relevant because if we can focus on the leading indicators, which is how you're responding, your mindset,
• 13:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: around what's happening, how you deal with unproductive thinking habits, how you're focused on external goals.
• 13:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: If we can focus on those, the symptoms ironically go away on their own without any influence on our end.
• 13:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now this all sounds great, having acceptance and radical responsibility, but what if you don't know why you're experiencing these symptoms?
• 13:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't know why you're experiencing these symptoms, it's going to be very hard to accept.
• 14:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: which leads me to point three, which is understanding the basics of your nervous system.
• 14:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I remember when I was dealing with intense symptoms for me digestive issues were the worst, and I remember people just telling me to just accept it, to just let it be there.
• 14:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I would tell them, you don't know how uncomfortable this is.
• 14:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you knew, there's no way anyone could just tolerate this.
• 14:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And when people would tell me to just accept it, it's almost like, hey, just disregard it.
• 14:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, just don't try to do anything.
• 14:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: but people didn't understand how uncomfortable it was.
• 14:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the reason why I was stuck for so long was because I didn't understand why I was having digestive issues, why I was having breathlessness, why my heartbeat would change whether I was lying down or standing up.
• 14:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Nobody had explained this to me.
• 14:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: All that would happen was I would go to my doctors and they would do tests and say there's nothing wrong.
• 14:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then I'd go to my therapist and they would just say, hey, have you tried breathing techniques?
• 14:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so before you even focus on accepting, it's very important to understand why is this happening.
• 15:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: I call this learning the mechanics of your nervous system.
• 15:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: See, it's not just anxiety, which lives in your head.
• 15:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Anxiety is about survival, so it's mind and body.
• 15:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: So whenever your body and mind are in this protection mode in this survival mode, you're going to be feeling in 10 symptoms.
• 15:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Symptoms that can mimic real life illnesses.
• 15:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is why it's important to getting everything ruled out by your doctor.
• 15:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: But once you get everything ruled out, it's learning.
• 15:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: How does anxiety cause breathlessness?
• 15:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: How does anxiety cause digestive issues?
• 15:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: How does anxiety cause these intense heart rates and blood pressure going up?
• 15:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so, if you want to know more about that, I have a free ebook down below.
• 15:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: It describes the mechanics of anxiety and a high-percensity nervous system.
• 15:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: The link is in the description box.
• 15:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: But understanding why you're having these symptoms often demystifies the fear.
• 15:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: You may have heard the phrase, you only fear what's in the unknown.
• 15:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Once something becomes known, you naturally lose the fear.
• 16:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's because when we don't know what's happening, fears a natural reaction.
• 16:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: So when we don't know why we're having these symptoms, just telling someone to allow it doesn't really work.
• 16:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's very important that in the healing journey education is very important, not just retaining knowledge but understanding the mechanics of the mind.
• 16:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: recognizing that you're not your thoughts.
• 16:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're the awareness behind it.
• 16:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: That when you're experiencing intense physical sensations, that doesn't mean the root cause of it is physical, you could be experiencing adrenaline burning itself off.
• 16:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you're adrenaline burning itself off, one of the places it burns off is the heart.
• 16:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: You'll notice your respiration, your breathing increases as a way to get more oxygen.
• 16:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: you'll notice that digestion shuts down because your body's mobilizing to fight or run away.
• 16:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so when you realize that this is all a symptom of stress of a highly sensitive nervous system, well now you're not fearing it.
• 17:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now you're not thinking, oh my headache is because of some brain tumor, my heart is because of some heart deformity.
• 17:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: You realize it's just adrenaline burning itself off.
• 17:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so the best way to do that is getting everything rolled up by your doctor and then understanding the mechanics of anxiety.
• 17:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: When people neglect this, they are very easily convinced that what they're dealing with is something physical.
• 17:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because what they're dealing with is intense physical symptoms, and because you're anxious, the mind is going to think of the worst case scenario.
• 17:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it's going to scan all the different scenarios, grab the scariest one and magnify it.
• 17:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: So understand the mechanics first and foremost helps demystify a lot of the fears around your symptoms and sensations.
• 17:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, the last point I want to mention is something that I call expansion over elimination.
• 17:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Once somebody understands the mechanics of anxiety, once somebody begins the acceptance practice of letting the symptoms be there, once people accept their ability to respond to those sensations, now it's about being responsible for other things as well, being a participant in life.
• 18:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so this point is the moment that you're responsible for something, a task you're healing, a commitment to another person, your attention shifts outward.
• 18:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: See, when people are going through anxiety, when they're going through chronic symptoms, they are so naturally inward focused.
• 18:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're always focused on how they're feeling all the time.
• 18:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is why when society tells you to relax, to calm down, these are all good intentions,
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is why you can be incredibly comfortable, have no issues, no concerns, and still have intense symptoms, because you are still internally focused.
• 18:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: And whenever you're internally focused, that just magnifies the problem.
• 18:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't live a life that we see, we live a life on what we focus on.
• 18:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: So the more we focus on something, that in itself grows.
• 19:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't see life the way it is.
• 19:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so in the same way, whenever you start recognizing that it's that inward focus of how am I feeling, monitoring your progress, basement, how you're feeling, it's about learning to respond to that and then responding to life, focusing on outward expression.
• 19:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: outward expansion.
• 19:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: This means becoming responsible for other things, whether that's going back to work, whether that's becoming a better partner, whether that's being there for somebody, whether that's a certain responsibility or a task.
• 19:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's recognizing that those things are more important than how you feel internally.
• 19:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: This gives you agency.
• 19:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: This gives you purpose.
• 19:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: and this makes you focused on things that are more important than how you feel.
• 19:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: What happens is that as you begin shifting outward, anxiety is going to try to push back.
• 19:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to be focusing on these external things, but you'll notice the symptoms are hitting you.
• 19:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: As a way to get your attention, responsibility is the best anti-depressant.
• 20:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: because it makes other things more important than how you feel.
• 20:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's not that your feelings don't matter, it's just that you're so hyper focused on it that your determination of a good day or a bad day is based on how you feel.
• 20:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And whenever you make other things more important than that, a task, your responsibility to someone else, your job, your relationships, your own personal hobbies or passions, whenever you actively make those more important, what that does is that that changes the dynamics
• 20:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: and the relationship between you and your anxiety.
• 20:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: That helps you de-sensitize your nervous system.
• 20:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: That shows your nervous system that you're an active participant of life and what you're feeling are just false alarms.
• 20:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your false alarms will begin adjusting on its own.
• 20:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: It will begin recalibrating.
• 20:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: like a smoke alarm system, a smoke alarm system that is just too sensitive right now that just needs this battery's change.
• 20:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, whenever you do that, it recalibrates and it recognizing that these small stressors that you're experiencing are actually just misfires.
• 21:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: and as you begin expanding your life, it's not just about feeling certain symptoms or feeling discomfort, it's about changing your relationship to them.
• 21:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: How you change your relationship to discomfort, anxiety, symptoms, stress, and as you do those things, the nervous system recalibrates on its own.
• 21:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Here's what I wish someone would have told me when I was in the thick of it.
• 21:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't need a feel better to start living.
• 21:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: You need to start living to feel better.
• 21:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I know that sounds backwards.
• 21:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know everything in your body is screaming, fix this first, then I'll live.
• 21:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: But that's the trap.
• 21:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the loop.
• 21:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what keeps you stuck.
• 21:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Recovery isn't waiting on the other side of symptoms.
• 21:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's standing in the middle of them and choosing to show up anyway.
• 21:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: As a parent, as a partner, as someone who still has something to give this world, even on hard days.
• 22:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for watching.