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Why Burnout Happens Even to High Achievers · Groove with Portia

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Groul Porsche, the podcast that uncovers the hidden
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: treasures within grief. I'm your host, Porsche the Producer, and
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I'm inviting you to join me on a transformative journey
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: where we were exchange laughter, of course the best medicine
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: of them all, reflect on cherish memories, Remember that time
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: that the little boy grabbed my hand instead of his
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: mother's at the amusement park yikes, And of course, discover
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: gratitude while navigating one of life's hardest challenges lost. So
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: get ready to grow with me, Porsche the Producer, let's
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: dive in. Hello everybody, and welcome back to Grow with Porsche.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: I am your host, Porsche Booker, and as always, don't
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: forget to like, share and subscribe to keep up with
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: all things Grew with Porsche. Curious for all of you
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: out there, how many of you have been a part
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: of the I'm Fine Club? And I'm not talking about
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: the finest wine club. I'm talking about I'm fine even
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: though my world is falling apart. I'm overwhelmed, I'm feeling
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  Speaker 1: burned out all the things that keep us pushed down
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: from living out our full potential. How many of us
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: continue to be a part of the busy crew, knowing
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: that the I'm Fine Club continues to hold a membership
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: burning a hole in our pockets. Let that sink in
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: for today, So for all of you today, I'm joined
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: by an individual who is no stranger to the Overwhelmed
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: and burned Out Club. She is a stress management and
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: DNA based nutrition expert who I just happened to meet
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: through the podcast space. So welcome missus, Lane Kennedy to
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  Speaker 1: grew with Portia. Lane. How are you today?
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  Speaker 2: So good? It's great to be with you. Thanks for
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: having me Lane.
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  Speaker 1: For an audience who's tuning in, you haven't always occupied
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: the space that you've been in, and I want to
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: take a minute to honor the path that you are
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: on today. When you think back on that season where
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  Speaker 1: you were overwhelmed, burned out, what do you want people
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  Speaker 1: to remember and what do you also want to remember
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  Speaker 1: about how far you've come and what you've learned from
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  Speaker 1: that transitional period?
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  Speaker 2: That is so much it's like such a big that's
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  Speaker 2: a big question that's layered. Uh. You know, I can
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: look back just a couple of years, you know, very
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: specifically to the burnout and the pace at which I
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  Speaker 2: was moving, and I remember very distinctly somebody telling me Lane,
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  Speaker 2: this is not sustainable, like you were on twenty four
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  Speaker 2: to seven. You are managing a high profile wellness group,
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  Speaker 2: you have your own business, you are in your being
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: of service, you're volunteering. You're like, it's not sustainable. And
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  Speaker 2: I just was like blinded because I thought I was
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  Speaker 2: doing all the things. And mind you, I'm a stress
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  Speaker 2: management like teacher, right like that's I talk about this stuff.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: And so when when this person told me this, I
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: was like, no, I'm fine, I'm fine. I got it,
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: you know, right right. So it's, you know, like that
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  Speaker 2: kind of attitude, the cavalierness of I'm fine. The way
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  Speaker 2: that we are in society. Now I've got this. Nobody
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  Speaker 2: has this, nobody has this, and it is a wake
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  Speaker 2: up call to all of humanity that we are burning
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  Speaker 2: and frying out. And I see it every single day.
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  Speaker 2: And the last you know, I collapsed. I found myself
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  Speaker 2: in the er and I've been bed I was bedbound
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: for a couple of months. And you don't know what
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  Speaker 2: you don't know, and then you wake up and you're like,
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  Speaker 2: oh my god, here I am. Now what do I do,
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  Speaker 2: and I've had to really assess and learn how to
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  Speaker 2: live my life differently and shut it down, Like I
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: have to shut things down and say no to things,
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  Speaker 2: where I would have never done that before Portia, I
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: would have been like, yes, of course I can do that,
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  Speaker 2: Yes I can do that, Yes I can respond to
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  Speaker 2: that email. Now I don't care if I have ten
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  Speaker 2: fifteen fifty emails in my inbox. They just people have
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  Speaker 2: to wait. And that's really it's interesting because people want
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  Speaker 2: answers right now, right because we're so used to it.
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  Speaker 2: We've trained everybody, our society, our colleagues that we're on alert,
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  Speaker 2: we're on response, which no, we don't have to respond.
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  Speaker 2: We don't have to respond for twenty four hours, forty
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  Speaker 2: eight hours, or a week. There is nothing urgent unless
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  Speaker 2: the house is burning down.
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  Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay. And you know, Len, I love how
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  Speaker 1: you reinforced this notion of I've got this, I've got this,
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  Speaker 1: and you thought the same thing. Right that you're running
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  Speaker 1: your business, you're working with high profile people, you're volunteering.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know if you have children and family, but
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  Speaker 1: they're juggling that too, and then all of a sudden
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  Speaker 1: you end up on the hot mess Express and her
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  Speaker 1: yeah yeah, and here you are right where so many people,
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  Speaker 1: I don't think recognize that if you want to call
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  Speaker 1: it people pleasing. I think that people pleasing notion of
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  Speaker 1: saying yes. And I think us women got it bad.
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  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah, it's I think it's really sneaky. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: you know, I think. I mean, I grew up on
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  Speaker 2: my own, taking care of business, making sure things got done,
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  Speaker 2: you know, so I you know, from the time I
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: was ten years old, so you know, a couple of
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  Speaker 2: decades into my life, it's it's my life. I don't
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  Speaker 2: recognize it as anything different. But when you know, I
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  Speaker 2: got involved with this wellness group, and you know, like
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  Speaker 2: there's personalities that are very challenging, and when you're in that,
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  Speaker 2: you don't say no, right, And I consider myself to
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  Speaker 2: be a strong woman, like I like, I have good boundaries,
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  Speaker 2: and I didn't realize that I was doing that people
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  Speaker 2: pleasing under the authority of this narcissist that I was
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  Speaker 2: being kind of led by. And when I put the
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  Speaker 2: pieces together again, that very wise woman said to me,
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  Speaker 2: I think you're like in a cult. I think you're
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  Speaker 2: kind of under the thumb of this like Guru, and
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  Speaker 2: I was like, no, never, not me. But now like
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  Speaker 2: again twenty twenty hindsight, right, it's like, yeah, a thousand
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  Speaker 2: percent And I didn't even recognize it, didn't even and
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  Speaker 2: see it.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, And isn't that crazy, Lane? How we end up?
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  Speaker 1: And I think you said it. It's that subtleness yeh, right.
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  Speaker 1: It doesn't immediately show itself, like when you're driving you
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  Speaker 1: see the red stop sign. It's those slow little injections
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  Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden they're piling up, right,
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  Speaker 1: And Lane, I think that overwhelm and stress work the
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  Speaker 1: same way.
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  Speaker 2: Right.
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  Speaker 1: Overwhelm is it doesn't just come on you suddenly. Right.
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  Speaker 1: It slowly starts with not being able to respond to
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  Speaker 1: all the emails, right as I mentioned to you in
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  Speaker 1: the beginning, all the different email pitches I get today
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: of people wanting to be a guest on the show.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Right then it's you know, working with the demand and
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: the business if you're trying to expand, if you're a
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: one personned show. Right, So it slowly is piling up.
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  Speaker 1: I think of it like Jenga, you know, That's what
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  Speaker 1: it makes me think of. And I'm curious lame from
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  Speaker 1: the standpoint that you're in and you work with different
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  Speaker 1: individuals to help them kind of manage their stress and overwhelm.
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  Speaker 1: What are some of those maybe hidden signs in the
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  Speaker 1: body that are showing that overwhelm that stress, because I
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  Speaker 1: think some people only think it's here, but it's it's.
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  Speaker 2: It's all over the place. Yeah, especially sleep. Sleep disruption
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  Speaker 2: is the number one thing you know that I see.
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  Speaker 2: And I had sleep disruption, but you know, I blamed
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  Speaker 2: it on my hormones. I blamed it on the dogs
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  Speaker 2: barking in the middle of the night, like there was
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  Speaker 2: a bunch of you know, other things. But the consistency
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  Speaker 2: of that sleep disruption or the not getting well rested
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  Speaker 2: nights and then having that compound right and again, I
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, it's fine, I'll nap during the day.
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  Speaker 2: I meditate during the day, right, Like, I meditate, so
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  Speaker 2: that takes care of it. But in reality, that not
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  Speaker 2: sleeping changes everything, the biochemical processes in your body. So
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  Speaker 2: from there, the other thing that I see a lot
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  Speaker 2: is tightness in the jaw and migrain headaches. Migrain headaches.
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  Speaker 2: If you have a migrain headache, you have a stress problem.
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  Speaker 2: You have an overwhelmed problem. You're in trouble, and you
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  Speaker 2: know a lot of times a doctor will just say,
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  Speaker 2: you know, take this medicine, go into a dark room.
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  Speaker 2: You're going to be it'll change. But no, that's not
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  Speaker 2: going to change. You have to look at your stress.
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  Speaker 2: You have to think about what can I do differently?
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  Speaker 2: And that takes that takes work, that takes a time out.
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  Speaker 2: People don't have time to take a time out. And
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  Speaker 2: then you get to my position where the body says
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  Speaker 2: you're taking a time out. I'm putting you down like
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  Speaker 2: I'm done playing here. Right.
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  Speaker 1: What's this saying? If you don't make time for your wellness,
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  Speaker 1: you're gonna make time for your illness.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it, and late you gotta figure that out.
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  Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought up sleep because let's let's talk
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  Speaker 1: about sleep really quick, because I think there's a lot
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  Speaker 1: of misconceptions about sleep and actual rest because there's all
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  Speaker 1: the studies, right of is it eight hours every night?
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  Speaker 1: But I mean, lane, what would you say that somebody
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  Speaker 1: can really gauge a RESTful night. It may not even
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  Speaker 1: be eight hours.
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  Speaker 2: No, it doesn't have to be eight hours. But you
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  Speaker 2: wake up in the morning and you want to get
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  Speaker 2: after it. You are excited about life. You are like, yes,
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  Speaker 2: I can go run five miles right now, and I
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  Speaker 2: don't need a cup of coffee. Like that is a
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  Speaker 2: difference between resting and you could three hours four hours.
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  Speaker 2: You know. I talk a lot about like the sweep,
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  Speaker 2: the sleep window and finding your sleep window. Once you
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  Speaker 2: find that and you lock it in and then you
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  Speaker 2: and again, it could be four hours, it could be
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  Speaker 2: six hours. It's your body, which is bioengineered, biogenetically, your
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  Speaker 2: bodies like no one else's. So maybe you're going to
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  Speaker 2: bed early and your spouse is going a bit late
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  Speaker 2: and you wake up early. You know, it just doesn't matter.
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  Speaker 2: It's it's you.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, Landa's funny that you bring up about
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  Speaker 1: the opposite sleep schedules, because I'm somebody who's an early bird.
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  Speaker 1: I'm up between four and six every day, even on
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  Speaker 1: the weekends. Yeah, and I'm somebody who I may not
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  Speaker 1: always get eight hours of sleep, but if I get
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  Speaker 1: that solid about five to six and a half hours,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, I am superman. I can take
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  Speaker 1: on the world. I'm excited. Then I know that I'm
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  Speaker 1: on a good trajectory.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you're yeah, if you have dropped into
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  Speaker 2: that restorative sleep stage, which you usually have a good
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: two or three of them, you know at the beginning,
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  Speaker 2: if you get that juicy sleep, you don't need eight hours, right,
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: it's but you got to get that deep, deep sleep first.
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  Speaker 1: And I think Lane, I love how you brought up
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  Speaker 1: to about the level of accountability. You have to take
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  Speaker 1: inventory of your stress. Right. The doctor's going to tell you, okay,
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  Speaker 1: you need to take whatever amount of medication to sleep
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  Speaker 1: and put yourself in what a dark, cold room and
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  Speaker 1: the blankets, the waighted blankets or whatever. For a lot
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  Speaker 1: of us, that's just masking the problem. Yeah, right, ye,
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  Speaker 1: And I know you talked about Lane, that slowing down, Right,
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  Speaker 1: how many people really struggle with slowing down because we're busy,
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: we've got so many things. Oh, I'm curious laying for
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  Speaker 1: our audience, how can they take slowing down from a
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  Speaker 1: different perspective for holistic wellness and overall longevity, Because as
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  Speaker 1: you don't want to end up like you where you're
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  Speaker 1: being willed into ver and now you're down for months,
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  Speaker 1: how can people reframe that phrase of slowing down?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah? I like this idea of wellness. Right, It's like
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: I want to be happy. I want to be joyful,
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  Speaker 2: so that means I need to care for my body.
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  Speaker 2: Like this is the perspective shift that I've had. You know,
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: I'm committed to going to the beach every day no
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: matter what. It's like, I've had to reassess my life
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  Speaker 2: because people, yeah, people that nobody wants to slow down.
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  Speaker 2: Not in today's world. You know, it's hard to just
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: eat a sandwich without doing anything, you know, let alone
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: take a walk, right, so it has to be intentional
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  Speaker 2: and it really it's like how long. It's like, this
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  Speaker 2: is what I ask. It's like, how long do you
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  Speaker 2: want to live this way? You know, how long can
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: you go? How long are you willing to be unhappy?
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  Speaker 2: Because at the end of the day, there's something you're
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: running from, there's something that you don't want to look at,
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  Speaker 2: there's something that's got you so wrapped up, and that's
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: totally fine. But again, your body is so smart and
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: it will bring you down, it will stop you. We
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: just don't know when, and it could be ending your
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: life early five years right, like we don't we just
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: or you can end up in the hospital or you
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: have a card attack, or like there's so many things
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: so that that's kind of the It's not about again,
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: it doesn't have to be about slowing down, And it's
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: like how happy do I want to be? How much
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: joy do I want to experience every day? That has
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: changed my perspective and my trajectory so helpful.
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  Speaker 1: And I think the core question too is how long
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: do I want to put up with this? Right? And
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: I think that is an honest, accountable question of how
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: long do I want to keep having these sleepless nights
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: where I'm not rested when I get up, where I
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: don't look forward to running my business or networking, or
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: can't forget the Sunday night blues. How many of us
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: remember those back in the day. And I even recognize
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: sometimes when I start feeling that way, and I'm like, Okay,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: something's got to shift here, something's got to change. Lane.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: For our audience, this has been an amazing conversation and
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: we're going to be wrapping up here soon. But before
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: we conclude, Lane, I'm sure there's going to be individuals
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: who want to connect with you, who want to learn
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: more about your work. Please share with our audience how
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: they can connect with you and if you have something
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: coming up in the future.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a masterclass on building your stress resilience.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: I do that twice a month and you can find
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: everything all my information at lane can dot com excellent.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: So for our audience, you can go do Lane Kennedy
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: dot com for any and all things that Lane has,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: the masterclasses she does. If there is possibly some type
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: of movie or trailer that may come about for Lane's life,
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: we hope so then you'll be able to find that
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: as well, and we'll include her website in the show notes. Well, everybody,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: that was Lane Kennedy that you heard from today on
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: this episode of Greu of Portie, and that concludes our
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: conversation for today. But I want to leave this with
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: each and every one of you today. Think about how
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: long are you going to keep that membership in the
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: on Fine club and how long do you want to
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: keep putting up with something that is making you unhappy
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: and miserable? All right, everybody, That concludes for today until
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: next time piece and a Greece everyone whence s