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Note 36: It’s Okay to Be Scared… But Show Up · Notes to Her

• 0:17
  Hey,
• 0:18
  and
• 0:18
  welcome
• 0:18
  back
• 0:18
  to
• 0:18
  Notes
• 0:19
  to
• 0:19
  her
• 0:19
  the
• 0:19
  daily
• 0:19
  pep
• 0:19
  talk.
• 0:20
  I'm
• 0:20
  Yaya,
• 0:21
  your
• 0:21
  confidence
• 0:21
  and
• 0:21
  mindset
• 0:22
  coach,
• 0:22
  here
• 0:22
  to
• 0:23
  help
• 0:23
  you
• 0:23
  stop
• 0:23
  shrinking,
• 0:24
  stop
• 0:24
  hiding,
• 0:25
  and
• 0:25
  start
• 0:25
  showing
• 0:26
  up
• 0:26
  even.
• 0:26
  Even
• 0:26
  when
• 0:26
  the
• 0:27
  fear
• 0:27
  is
• 0:27
  loud.
• 0:28
  Today's
• 0:28
  note
• 0:29
  is
• 0:29
  for
• 0:29
  the
• 0:29
  woman
• 0:29
  who
• 0:29
  feels
• 0:30
  scared
• 0:30
  but
• 0:31
  knows
• 0:31
  that
• 0:31
  she
• 0:31
  can't
• 0:32
  keep
• 0:32
  sitting
• 0:32
  on
• 0:32
  the
• 0:32
  sidelines
• 0:33
  of
• 0:33
  her
• 0:33
  own
• 0:33
  life.
• 0:34
  And
• 0:34
  before
• 0:34
  we
• 0:35
  go
• 0:35
  any
• 0:35
  further,
• 0:35
  let
• 0:36
  me
• 0:36
  say
• 0:36
  this
• 0:36
  up
• 0:36
  front.
• 0:37
  It's
• 0:37
  okay
• 0:38
  to
• 0:38
  be
• 0:38
  scared.
• 0:39
  I
• 0:40
  know
• 0:40
  how
• 0:40
  it
• 0:40
  feels
• 0:40
  to
• 0:41
  have
• 0:41
  hopes
• 0:41
  and
• 0:41
  dreams
• 0:42
  that
• 0:42
  light
• 0:42
  you
• 0:43
  up
• 0:43
  and
• 0:43
  at
• 0:43
  the
• 0:44
  same
• 0:44
  time
• 0:44
  feel
• 0:44
  terrified
• 0:45
  to
• 0:45
  actually
• 0:46
  step
• 0:46
  into
• 0:46
  them.
• 0:47
  So
• 0:47
  want
• 0:47
  more
• 0:48
  for
• 0:48
  your
• 0:48
  life,
• 0:48
  your
• 0:49
  career,
• 0:49
  your
• 0:50
  business,
• 0:50
  your
• 0:51
  voice.
• 0:52
  But
• 0:52
  stay
• 0:52
  stuck
• 0:53
  in
• 0:53
  the
• 0:53
  comfort
• 0:53
  zone
• 0:54
  because
• 0:54
  it
• 0:55
  feels
• 0:55
  familiar.
• 0:56
  I've
• 0:57
  been
• 0:57
  there,
• 0:58
  wanting
• 0:58
  the
• 0:58
  next
• 0:59
  level,
• 0:59
  but
• 0:59
  afraid
• 0:59
  of
• 1:00
  what
• 1:00
  would
• 1:00
  happen
• 1:00
  if
• 1:00
  I
• 1:01
  actually
• 1:01
  tried.
• 1:02
  And
• 1:02
  here's
• 1:03
  why
• 1:03
  today's
• 1:03
  note
• 1:04
  matters.
• 1:05
  Fear
• 1:05
  doesn't
• 1:06
  always
• 1:06
  show
• 1:06
  up
• 1:07
  as
• 1:07
  panic.
• 1:08
  Sometimes
• 1:09
  fear
• 1:09
  shows
• 1:09
  up
• 1:09
  as
• 1:10
  hesitation,
• 1:11
  as
• 1:11
  overthinking,
• 1:13
  as
• 1:13
  I'll
• 1:14
  wait
• 1:14
  a
• 1:14
  little
• 1:14
  longer,
• 1:15
  as
• 1:16
  staying
• 1:17
  quiet
• 1:17
  when
• 1:17
  you
• 1:17
  know,
• 1:18
  you
• 1:18
  should
• 1:18
  speak,
• 1:18
  speak.
• 1:19
  So
• 1:19
  today,
• 1:19
  we're
• 1:20
  not
• 1:20
  talking
• 1:20
  about
• 1:20
  how
• 1:20
  to
• 1:21
  get
• 1:21
  rid
• 1:21
  of
• 1:21
  fear.
• 1:21
  We're
• 1:22
  talking
• 1:22
  about
• 1:22
  how
• 1:22
  to
• 1:23
  stop
• 1:23
  letting
• 1:23
  fear
• 1:23
  make
• 1:24
  decisions
• 1:24
  for
• 1:25
  you.
• 1:25
  Because
• 1:26
  you
• 1:26
  don't
• 1:26
  need
• 1:26
  to
• 1:26
  be
• 1:26
  fearless
• 1:27
  to
• 1:27
  move
• 1:27
  around.
• 1:28
  You
• 1:28
  just
• 1:29
  need
• 1:29
  to
• 1:29
  be
• 1:29
  willing
• 1:30
  to
• 1:30
  show
• 1:30
  up
• 1:30
  scared.
• 1:41
  Now,
• 1:41
  fear
• 1:41
  is
• 1:41
  not
• 1:42
  the
• 1:42
  enemy.
• 1:42
  Fear
• 1:43
  is
• 1:43
  a
• 1:43
  normal
• 1:44
  response
• 1:44
  to
• 1:44
  growth.
• 1:45
  Your
• 1:45
  brain
• 1:46
  is
• 1:46
  wired
• 1:46
  to
• 1:46
  protect
• 1:47
  you,
• 1:47
  not
• 1:47
  to
• 1:47
  push
• 1:48
  you
• 1:48
  into
• 1:48
  expansion.
• 1:50
  So
• 1:50
  when
• 1:51
  you're
• 1:51
  about
• 1:51
  to
• 1:51
  do
• 1:51
  something
• 1:51
  new,
• 1:52
  visible
• 1:53
  or
• 1:53
  unfamiliar,
• 1:54
  your
• 1:54
  nervous
• 1:55
  system
• 1:55
  often
• 1:55
  reads
• 1:56
  that
• 1:56
  as
• 1:56
  danger.
• 1:57
  Fear
• 1:57
  says,
• 1:58
  what
• 1:58
  if
• 1:58
  you
• 1:59
  fail?
• 2:00
  What
• 2:00
  if
• 2:00
  people
• 2:00
  judge
• 2:01
  you?
• 2:02
  What
• 2:02
  if
• 2:02
  you're
• 2:02
  not
• 2:03
  as
• 2:03
  good
• 2:03
  as
• 2:03
  you
• 2:03
  think?
• 2:05
  And
• 2:05
  here's
• 2:06
  where
• 2:06
  fear
• 2:06
  becomes
• 2:06
  dangerous.
• 2:07
  A
• 2:07
  lot
• 2:07
  of
• 2:07
  times
• 2:08
  we
• 2:08
  think
• 2:08
  if
• 2:08
  we
• 2:09
  just
• 2:09
  ignore
• 2:09
  it,
• 2:10
  we
• 2:10
  push
• 2:10
  it
• 2:10
  to
• 2:10
  the
• 2:10
  back
• 2:10
  of
• 2:10
  our
• 2:11
  minds,
• 2:11
  then
• 2:11
  the
• 2:12
  fear
• 2:12
  will
• 2:12
  go
• 2:12
  away
• 2:12
  and
• 2:12
  we
• 2:12
  don't
• 2:13
  have
• 2:13
  to
• 2:13
  deal
• 2:13
  with
• 2:13
  it.
• 2:14
  But
• 2:14
  when
• 2:14
  fear
• 2:14
  is
• 2:15
  left
• 2:15
  unchallenged,
• 2:16
  it
• 2:16
  doesn't
• 2:17
  just
• 2:17
  keep
• 2:17
  you
• 2:17
  safe,
• 2:18
  it
• 2:18
  keeps
• 2:18
  you
• 2:18
  stuck.
• 2:19
  It
• 2:20
  convinces
• 2:20
  you
• 2:20
  to
• 2:21
  delay
• 2:21
  decisions,
• 2:22
  avoid
• 2:23
  visibility,
• 2:25
  play
• 2:25
  small
• 2:25
  instead
• 2:26
  of
• 2:26
  risking
• 2:26
  disappointment.
• 2:27
  Stay
• 2:28
  comfortable
• 2:28
  instead
• 2:29
  of
• 2:29
  aligned.
• 2:30
  And
• 2:30
  over
• 2:30
  time,
• 2:31
  fear
• 2:31
  doesn't
• 2:31
  just
• 2:32
  slow
• 2:32
  you
• 2:32
  down,
• 2:32
  it
• 2:33
  erodes
• 2:33
  your
• 2:33
  confidence.
• 2:34
  Because
• 2:35
  every
• 2:35
  time
• 2:35
  you
• 2:36
  don't
• 2:36
  show
• 2:36
  up,
• 2:36
  your
• 2:37
  brain
• 2:37
  learns,
• 2:38
  see,
• 2:38
  we
• 2:38
  can't
• 2:39
  handle
• 2:39
  this.
• 2:40
  And
• 2:40
  that's
• 2:40
  how
• 2:40
  fear
• 2:41
  quietly
• 2:41
  becomes
• 2:42
  the
• 2:42
  boss.
• 2:43
  Now,
• 2:43
  I
• 2:43
  want
• 2:44
  to
• 2:44
  tell
• 2:44
  you
• 2:44
  this
• 2:44
  story
• 2:44
  about
• 2:44
  a
• 2:45
  client
• 2:45
  of
• 2:45
  mine,
• 2:45
  Rachel.
• 2:46
  Rachel
• 2:47
  had
• 2:47
  a
• 2:47
  business.
• 2:48
  She
• 2:48
  was
• 2:48
  very
• 2:48
  talented,
• 2:49
  smart,
• 2:50
  very
• 2:50
  knowledgeable.
• 2:51
  But
• 2:52
  she
• 2:52
  was
• 2:52
  terrified
• 2:53
  of
• 2:53
  failing.
• 2:54
  So
• 2:54
  she
• 2:55
  played
• 2:55
  it
• 2:55
  safe.
• 2:56
  She
• 2:56
  didn't
• 2:56
  talk
• 2:56
  about
• 2:56
  what
• 2:57
  she
• 2:57
  offered.
• 2:57
  She
• 2:57
  didn't
• 2:58
  take
• 2:58
  risks.
• 2:58
  She
• 2:59
  didn't
• 2:59
  fully
• 2:59
  claim
• 3:00
  her
• 3:00
  expertise
• 3:01
  and
• 3:01
  her
• 3:02
  business
• 3:02
  slowly
• 3:02
  became
• 3:03
  more
• 3:03
  of
• 3:03
  a
• 3:03
  hobby
• 3:03
  than
• 3:04
  something
• 3:04
  that
• 3:04
  she
• 3:04
  believed
• 3:05
  in.
• 3:06
  Then
• 3:06
  one
• 3:06
  day,
• 3:06
  she
• 3:07
  watched
• 3:07
  someone
• 3:07
  in
• 3:08
  a
• 3:08
  similar
• 3:08
  industry
• 3:09
  start
• 3:09
  thriving.
• 3:10
  Someone
• 3:11
  with
• 3:11
  the
• 3:11
  same
• 3:11
  skills,
• 3:12
  same
• 3:12
  resources,
• 3:14
  same
• 3:14
  starting
• 3:14
  point.
• 3:15
  Instead
• 3:16
  of
• 3:16
  feeling
• 3:16
  inspired,
• 3:17
  she
• 3:17
  felt
• 3:18
  defeated.
• 3:19
  She
• 3:19
  told
• 3:19
  herself,
• 3:20
  maybe
• 3:21
  I'm
• 3:21
  not
• 3:21
  cut
• 3:21
  out
• 3:21
  for
• 3:22
  this.
• 3:22
  Maybe
• 3:22
  I
• 3:23
  waited
• 3:23
  too
• 3:23
  long.
• 3:24
  Maybe
• 3:24
  I
• 3:24
  should
• 3:25
  just
• 3:25
  quit
• 3:25
  before
• 3:25
  I
• 3:25
  embarrass
• 3:26
  myself.
• 3:27
  Then
• 3:27
  she
• 3:27
  found
• 3:28
  one
• 3:28
  of
• 3:28
  my
• 3:28
  posts
• 3:29
  and
• 3:29
  she
• 3:29
  reached
• 3:29
  out
• 3:30
  and
• 3:31
  we
• 3:31
  started
• 3:31
  working
• 3:31
  together
• 3:32
  with
• 3:32
  we
• 3:32
  didn't
• 3:32
  just
• 3:33
  jump
• 3:33
  straight
• 3:33
  into
• 3:33
  strategy.
• 3:34
  We
• 3:35
  worked
• 3:35
  on
• 3:35
  her
• 3:35
  self
• 3:36
  esteem,
• 3:36
  her
• 3:36
  fear
• 3:37
  of
• 3:37
  being
• 3:37
  seen,
• 3:38
  her
• 3:38
  belief
• 3:39
  that
• 3:39
  she
• 3:39
  had
• 3:39
  to
• 3:39
  be
• 3:39
  perfect
• 3:40
  before
• 3:40
  she
• 3:40
  could
• 3:40
  be
• 3:40
  visible.
• 3:41
  And
• 3:42
  within
• 3:42
  a
• 3:42
  month,
• 3:43
  something
• 3:43
  shifted.
• 3:44
  Rachel
• 3:45
  started
• 3:45
  showing
• 3:46
  up.
• 3:46
  She
• 3:47
  talked
• 3:47
  about
• 3:47
  her
• 3:47
  work.
• 3:48
  She
• 3:49
  shared
• 3:49
  her
• 3:49
  voice.
• 3:50
  She
• 3:50
  took
• 3:51
  imperfect
• 3:52
  action
• 3:53
  not
• 3:53
  because
• 3:53
  of
• 3:54
  fear
• 3:54
  disappeared,
• 3:55
  but
• 3:55
  because
• 3:55
  she
• 3:56
  stopped
• 3:56
  letting
• 3:56
  fear
• 3:57
  decide.
• 3:57
  And.
• 3:58
  And
• 3:58
  that's
• 3:58
  the
• 3:58
  difference.
• 4:00
  So
• 4:00
  here's
• 4:01
  the
• 4:01
  reframe
• 4:01
  that
• 4:01
  I
• 4:02
  need
• 4:02
  you
• 4:02
  to
• 4:02
  sit
• 4:03
  with
• 4:03
  today.
• 4:05
  Fear
• 4:06
  is
• 4:06
  not
• 4:06
  and
• 4:07
  should
• 4:07
  not
• 4:08
  be
• 4:08
  a
• 4:08
  stop
• 4:09
  sign
• 4:09
  in
• 4:09
  your
• 4:09
  life.
• 4:10
  It
• 4:10
  is
• 4:11
  a
• 4:11
  signal.
• 4:12
  Fear
• 4:13
  does
• 4:13
  not
• 4:14
  mean
• 4:14
  you're
• 4:14
  not
• 4:14
  ready.
• 4:15
  It
• 4:15
  means
• 4:16
  you're
• 4:16
  stepping
• 4:17
  outside
• 4:17
  of
• 4:17
  what's
• 4:18
  familiar.
• 4:19
  Fear
• 4:20
  doesn't
• 4:20
  mean
• 4:20
  you're
• 4:20
  incapable.
• 4:22
  It
• 4:22
  means
• 4:22
  you're
• 4:22
  growing.
• 4:24
  The
• 4:24
  only
• 4:25
  way
• 4:25
  confidence
• 4:25
  is
• 4:26
  built
• 4:26
  is
• 4:27
  through
• 4:27
  action,
• 4:28
  not
• 4:28
  before
• 4:29
  it.
• 4:30
  You
• 4:30
  don't
• 4:30
  wait
• 4:30
  until
• 4:31
  you
• 4:31
  feel
• 4:31
  brave.
• 4:32
  You
• 4:32
  act
• 4:33
  and
• 4:33
  bravery
• 4:34
  follows.
• 4:35
  You
• 4:35
  don't
• 4:35
  wait
• 4:36
  until
• 4:36
  you
• 4:36
  feel
• 4:36
  ready.
• 4:37
  You
• 4:37
  show
• 4:38
  up
• 4:38
  and
• 4:38
  readiness
• 4:39
  is
• 4:39
  built.
• 4:40
  Avoiding
• 4:41
  fears
• 4:41
  teaches
• 4:42
  your
• 4:42
  brain
• 4:42
  to
• 4:42
  fear
• 4:43
  more.
• 4:44
  Facing
• 4:45
  fear
• 4:45
  teaches
• 4:45
  your
• 4:46
  brain
• 4:46
  you
• 4:46
  can
• 4:46
  handle
• 4:47
  hard
• 4:47
  things.
• 4:48
  And
• 4:48
  that's
• 4:49
  how
• 4:49
  confidence
• 4:49
  is
• 4:50
  created.
• 4:52
  So
• 4:52
  if
• 4:52
  you're
• 4:52
  scared
• 4:52
  right
• 4:52
  now,
• 4:53
  ask
• 4:53
  yourself
• 4:54
  this.
• 4:55
  What
• 4:55
  would
• 4:55
  it
• 4:56
  look
• 4:56
  like
• 4:56
  to
• 4:56
  show
• 4:57
  up
• 4:57
  without
• 4:58
  forcing
• 4:58
  perfection?
• 5:00
  Not
• 5:00
  loud,
• 5:02
  not
• 5:02
  dramatic,
• 5:03
  not
• 5:04
  all
• 5:04
  at
• 5:04
  once.
• 5:05
  Just
• 5:06
  present.
• 5:07
  One
• 5:07
  honest
• 5:08
  post,
• 5:09
  one
• 5:09
  conversation,
• 5:11
  one
• 5:11
  decision,
• 5:13
  one
• 5:13
  step
• 5:14
  forward.
• 5:15
  You
• 5:15
  don't
• 5:15
  need
• 5:16
  to
• 5:16
  leap.
• 5:17
  You
• 5:17
  just
• 5:17
  need
• 5:17
  to
• 5:17
  stop
• 5:18
  standing
• 5:19
  still.
• 5:20
  It
• 5:21
  is
• 5:21
  okay
• 5:21
  to
• 5:21
  be
• 5:22
  scared,
• 5:23
  but
• 5:23
  don't
• 5:24
  let
• 5:24
  fear
• 5:24
  keep
• 5:25
  you
• 5:25
  invisible.
• 5:27
  And
• 5:27
  if
• 5:28
  this
• 5:28
  no
• 5:28
  hits
• 5:28
  you
• 5:29
  and
• 5:29
  you're
• 5:29
  ready
• 5:29
  for
• 5:30
  deeper
• 5:30
  support,
• 5:31
  Applications
• 5:32
  for
• 5:32
  my
• 5:32
  private
• 5:33
  coaching
• 5:33
  are
• 5:33
  open
• 5:35
  jetting.
• 5:36
  The
• 5:36
  confidence
• 5:36
  is
• 5:36
  for
• 5:37
  the
• 5:37
  woman
• 5:37
  who
• 5:37
  Rachel
• 5:38
  started
• 5:38
  showing
• 5:38
  up
• 5:39
  as
• 5:39
  posting,
• 5:40
  talking
• 5:41
  about
• 5:41
  our
• 5:41
  offers,
• 5:42
  claiming
• 5:43
  her
• 5:43
  space.
• 5:44
  Not
• 5:44
  because
• 5:44
  fear
• 5:45
  disappeared,
• 5:46
  but
• 5:46
  because
• 5:47
  fear
• 5:47
  stopped
• 5:48
  being
• 5:48
  in
• 5:48
  charge.
• 5:50
  And
• 5:50
  that's
• 5:50
  the
• 5:50
  shift.