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Ignore the Noise: How to Handle Negativity When You're Trying to Get Healthy · The Unsexy Businessmen

• Alex: Welcome to the Unsexy Podcast where we talk about all things unsexy. That's not how you're supposed to say it. Where we talk about the unsexy side of everything. We're not stealing that from freakonomics at all. Today we're going to be chatting about dealing with negative people as you're going through your health journey. I am joined by my brother Aaron Skinner. I am Alex Skinner. So let's just hop into it. I feel like I am I am a fairly negative person, but I am a fairly positive person when it comes to anyone doing anything like to better their life. And more more, I would say I'm less negative and more skeptical. So I'll just give you an example of my negativity. Whenever anyone shares some sort of I'm about to make one million or two million dollars in less than X amount of time. I'm skeptical. I'm I'm like, hey, I hope that that does happen, but I'm just like, it's probably not going to happen. So that's like where my negativity comes in. If someone comes to me like, hey, I'm gonna start working out, I'm gonna start trying to get healthy. I'm gonna start doing these things, always always supporting those types of people. Do you deal with have you like ran into like negative people as you're like going through health stuff? Aaron: The so I think there's different types of negativity when it comes to ⁓ friends, family, randos. ⁓ it's so the the one one of the ones are the supportive people. So I guess we're not talking about that. ⁓ I think the other the I think the most common one is the people that I I I don't like are quietly negative. I don't even know how to how to put that. But I mean they they're not hoping that you fail, but I think they're in a spot where they they want to be healthy or they wanna, you know, better their life in some way, but don't want to put the work in in order to make that happen. Or maybe they've tried and failed and tried and failed, like I did many, many times. And then they see someone that's that's doing well and maybe there's some I don't know, ⁓ is jealousy the right word? jealousy there, I guess. And so they'll start doing the weird kind of questioning things. Or they'll like for example, like like, ⁓ I I like going to the gym. I I I I do love going to the gym. They're like, ⁓ you know, I don't want to become like a meathead. Or, you know, it's like a comment like that. Or like, ⁓ I don't have time to go to ⁓ man, I wish I had time to go to the gym. Or they start throwing out excuses or or the other one too is like the person that's constantly trying to get you to eat bad food when you're with them. Alex: That's the one I was thinking of. Aaron: Yes. Like just have a bite. Alex: I felt and it's not necessarily yeah, it's not necessarily like it's ⁓ you're you're healthy and so now I am targeting you, but it's like a lot of the it's but it's ⁓ your cheesecake example, right? Where it's just like, hey, come on, man, take a bite of the cheesecake. Like these things that we learn as kids, like peer pressure and how that can impact you in life, but it's not alcohol and it's not drugs. It's just a fuck ton of sugar. So that's okay. Even though sugar is also in high high, high, high, high, high amounts, is not that great for Aaron: Right. Alex: you yeah that's the one that's the one i i i i that i run into the the most where it's just just why why don't you want to eat this like listen it already sucks enough for me that i don't get to eat the food that that i that you're like trying to offer to me right now so just if you just like let it go please just let it go in the in the words of elsa let it go Aaron: Terrible. Yeah Well, I there's there's something dude with like the it's the misery loves company kind of thing, or it's may it's not even misery. It's more of like doing something wrong. It's better when you're with your friends doing something wrong, you're knowing you're supposed to do. And even like, you know, having a piece of cake isn't like the a big deal. Like it's whatever. ⁓ and the example that I always used from that with the cheesecake was like, Yeah, I I could have had a bite and probably would have been fine and whatever. But I was just trying to stay as disciplined as I could. And that was just one of those like mental hurdles for me, like I can I said no. I did it. Yay. Good for me. ⁓ but yeah, like what what is what is that? Why why why is that a thing where people just just push it on you? It's it's it's it, right? Like they just want to be feel okay that they're doing it too. Alex: Right. 'Cause I think it's more that thing. Like it's not necessarily I don't know if this is necessarily like misery loves company, like exactly. It's more just along the lines of like Millhouse jumped off a bridge. I I just want to be, I want to be part of something. And will you be part of this thing? And it's almost this here here comes some armchair psychology from Alex. It's almost as if like you're rejecting them. It's not that you're rejecting the cheesecake, it's you're rejecting a communal experience with them by saying no to it. So it's almost it's similar to like when people like invite you to stuff and you say no to like whatever things they invite you to enough times, they're just like, ⁓ you must not want to hang out with me. But in reality, Aaron: Sure. Yeah. Alex: You might have a ton of stuff going on every single time. Like you're being honest with them, like, no, I have this going on. No, I have this going on. No, I have this going on. But it's just like, so like, do you like not like me? Normal normal people just like, okay, they're saying no to me. I'm gonna stop inviting them to stuff. But you have no idea what's going on in a person's life that's not allowing them to do those communal things for you. So wrapping this all back up, I think it's more of like the communal nature of like, so you don't want to like do this thing with me? I remember what I like the first time this dude who I Aaron: Yeah. Yeah. Alex: used to used to smoke pot with a lot. Like the first time like I told him no, like, what why? Why not? What happened? Like what's why? ⁓ my gosh. And it's just like, ⁓ no, I just don't like I I haven't done it now for like a year and a half and I'm just gonna continue not doing it because I then I get the munchies and then it's like a slippery slope for me where I just keep doing it over and over again. Aaron: Mm-hmm. What what? Is it okay if I eat mayonnaise? Right. Well and then it's one of those things too where it's just like and I don't care if you do it. Like I it's I I think some people like, Well I don't wanna I don't wanna eat this or smoke this in front of you and then it's gonna tempt like, dude, I don't care, do Alex: Yeah. Aaron: Do you? And I'm not judging you because you're eating ice cream. Like, ⁓ trust me, I wish I could eat ice cream. I'm but I'm trying to hit this certain goal or whatever. And so I that's why I'm choosing not to. I'm not judging you for for doing it. It's just, ⁓ you know, me personally, this is what my goal is, and that's not part of my goals right now. And so that's that's all it is for me. I don't do do do you. I don't I don't care. Same thing with like drinking. Like I'll go places where I don't drink very much. Like I go with one one of my buddies, I do a lot of stuff and he likes to drink. And that's fine. Like yeah, if you want to drink dude, that's totally fine. But it then i I think there's some there is the the communal thing you're talking about where, you know, drinking by yourself isn't isn't super fun. And so I'm sure he's just like, well, I guess I'm not gonna drink so I don't look like the alcoholic in this in this friendship. ⁓ but yeah I never I never care. Like it doesn't bother me if someone is eating bad food or drinking or whatever. Alex: Right. I th I d and I honestly like have not experienced like much negativity in terms of ⁓ granted, I'm not going to a gym, so maybe that's why I don't experience it as much. I feel like more of the negativity comes when you're around like a ton of people. But do you ever do you experience that? Or like, hey pussy, why are you using the why are you using the dumbbell machine like that? Dumbbell machine. What no? Right? Like Aaron: ⁓ no. Like w in all honesty dude, like especially gym culture, I think people get a really bad rap. I think the gym culture gets a bad rap sometimes. But like some of the nicest people and like most accepting people are people at at the gym because you everyone knows you're there to better yourself. I don't see somebody at the gym that's super overweight and like, what are you doing here, dude? Seriously? At the gym and you're really fat? Because that was me. That was me for years. ⁓ and so I would never judge somebody for trying to better themselves. So yeah, that's that's never the case. And kind of like we talked about the other day where I was like when I was using really lightweight, like no one no one cares. No one was like staring, snickering that I'm using lightweight 'cause my arm is weird. ⁓ feels weird doing a certain exercise. And so I would say ⁓ like the gym culture is usually a pretty positive place. I think where where people get annoyed with it is when which is ironic because this is kind of us, ⁓ is when people are constantly talking about it. Which I guess I'm not I'm not I'm not constantly talking about it. Obviously we talk about on this podcast because it's what we talk about. ⁓ but I'm not constantly talking about my macros or my my my workout splits or whatever unless somebody asks me as the only time I ever talk about it. Alex: Correct. That's the same for me. So I wonder if like there's there's your other like negativity people are like they look at gym culture and what people talk about so then they don't go, which keeps them from being able to achieve their goals. I would just like to s second that. Anytime I've gone to the gym, I've never really had I've never really ran into those issues. So if you have this poor view of what a gym is like, you Like literally, I like I used to go to the gym a ton. Like every single day. Vasa in Provo, ⁓ Vasa in Oram. Now everyone knows where I live. Just but it's it never there was never a time where I ever felt like un like you can't be here. Why are you why are you here? So if that's something that's keeping you from going and getting a gym membership so that you have equipment you can use. You gotta get that out of your head because you're just you're just delaying the inevitable, or not inevitable, you're delaying your growth. Aaron: Yeah, if you think that you're gonna get judged at the gym, like that just it it really and if I saw somebody like making fun of someone who is at the gym, that's probably one of the few times I would actually say something. Like I I keep to myself, I don't say anything, but I've ever heard someone like, hey fatty, get off. I I need this next. I'm like ⁓ that wouldn't like provoke me to like make, hey, what the hell's going on? I've never had that happen. I've never seen it happen. But it's just Everyone knows why you're at the gym. Like, don't don't feel self-conscious. I see lots of people that were overweight. Again, that was me for a very long time. I was very overweight at the gym. And I think you're naturally gonna feel self-conscious because you're going to a place where there are a lot of people that are already in shape. But a lot of those people, you don't know what their journey is. Like people who see me, and this isn't like to brag about how great I am. Like people who see me might like, ⁓ man, I wish I could look like that guy. Like I th I used to be fat. Like you can. There's nothing. There's no reason you can't look l exactly like me and much better than I look like. Like there's the only thing that's stopping you is yourself. And so I think I I think that's what holds people back from from the gym is what you first said, Alex. Like, ⁓ I'm gonna I you know I'm it's scary, I might get judged or made fun of. And then the other thing is like, well, then I'm gonna be surrounded by all these people that are really strong and I don't want to do that. Like, but you could be that person. You could be the person that's in really good shape, that looks good, that then people People are looking at and and come up for for advice. Like it doesn't happen often to me, but I would say Once or twice a month, I'll have someone come up to me and ask me, ⁓ you know, hey, you know, your shoulders look good. What do you what do you do your shoulders? Or like, hey, ⁓ I don't I don't know how this machine works. How do I use it? No one, no dude at the gym that's like looks like they're in shape. If you ever went up to them and asked them, hey, how does this machine work? It's gonna get mad at you. Because it's kind of like, ⁓ yeah, that's right. You are you are asking me because I clearly know what I'm doing. ⁓ which they were not gonna say, but they will feel. ⁓ every time it happens, I'm just like, Alex: Thank you. Aaron: like, yeah, that's right. I'm doing something I'm doing something right. And it's just like, but I like they're they're they're very, very, ⁓ very helpful when it comes to that because they're ⁓ it's funny because there was a machine that I just never really used Alex: Let me show ya. Aaron: And like this was like recently. ⁓ and I just wasn't familiar with it. And I w went and asked another dude. I was like, dude, I've never used this machine before. It was like this belt ⁓ squat machine. I didn't know how you're supposed to set it up. ⁓ but it was one of the it was one of the exercises my coach had suggested I start doing. And so I was just like, dude, I've never used this before. How do you say, ⁓ yeah, dude, totally? Yeah. And just went over and showed me how to use it. Like it wasn't an no ego thing. People are excited to help other people at the gym. So if that's holding you back, don't let it. Alex: Yeah, was the device the Aspounder four thousand? The Aspander three thousand. So not Max not the one that Matt created, but the the following the following device. Aaron: ⁓ three thousand. We don't have the four thousand yet. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha! Alex: I I it's funny, like as we've been talking about this a little bit, I was like, I'll I was like, we're not really talking a ton about like like a ton of like different negative people, and but I know that negative people out there is exist. And then I had this thought just like Aaron and I probably have like a lot of healthy relationships. So like our wives are incredibly supportive of us, like our friends are incredibly supportive of us. I would say our f is when it comes to stuff like this, I'd say fa like not that our family's like incredibly supportive, like hey, good I'm loving I'm loving watching. some people are but like hey I'm loving watching your your health journey yada yada yada but I'm just thinking of like the like the spouse that we don't know who's like married to somebody who just Talk shit about them. ⁓ what? You're gonna go to the gym. Cause I know that those people exist and that they're pieces of shit. And like you gotta divorce those people. Like if you're in a relationship, I'm just giving like some some very useful advice right now. If you're in a relationship where someone's just giving you crap because like you're trying to achieve your goals, and obviously we're specifically talking about health stuff. I know that like you're gonna have people who are like Aaron: Ha ha Alex: Calling you fatty, the husband that gets the Mother's Day gift of a weight scale, the like all of like the stupid different examples that I can't think of right now, those are bad people in your life. And even if you confront them about it, they're still gonna be shitty people and not change because most people end up not really changing significantly in their lives. So ⁓ I've I I feel like I'm trying to like find like who are like who are the negative people? Like who are the and it's we just don't experience them. Aaron: We don't, but I I Alex: It's probably social media. Like where we experience negativity is social media. Okay. Aaron: That's literally what I was going to. Yes, that's exactly what I was gonna say. So the negativity that I like the only actual negativity that I've ever experienced was through social media. And it's someone when I post whatever's like ⁓ I mean there's been a few. I mean, there were there's one the guy's like, Yeah, dude, you really need to you really your your upper chest isn't very big. You need to you need to be working on those like that's literally what I say in the video. I'm like, did you watch the video? I'm saying, like, my ch my upper chest isn't big. That's something I I told my coach I want to work on. Alex: It's like, all right, okay, thank you. Aaron: Yeah. Like thank thanks, man. I never like take it personally because that's the other thing too. If it's like from social media or someone that I don't have a relationship with, like, I don't give a shit what somebody has to say. ⁓ someone else said that like, I can't believe you claim you're an elite athlete. I was like, I've never claimed that. What are you talking about? ⁓ so you gotta stop saying you're an elite athlete, dude. You're like not even close. And I was just like, I never said I I th I said you should want to train like an elite athlete. I've never claimed I'm an elite athlete. Alex: Ha ha ha. Yeah. D y hey man, you gotta stop saying that you're LeBron James because you're not LeBron James. Like what that what's happening? You gotta stop saying that you're ⁓ like you're a high school basketball coach. What's happening? What are the where are these comments coming from? Aaron: Ha ha ha. What's going on? Why did you say if you were alive in the seventies, Arnold Schwarzenegger would have never won a Mr. Olympia? I never said that. Alex: Now you have. ⁓ my gosh. But it's it's like wild. And that's how I know the people behind closed doors exist because these are the people that like we don't experience in like our real lives. And and the people that our real lives that we spend time with are also aren't internet trolls or so depressed that they go on the internet and like comment on people. So that's why we don't experience in our real lives. But we see this, like the comments that come through are like sometimes just like Aaron: Yes. Alex: I'm always like amazed, like, that's what you decided to comment. Like our alcohol episode, there was a guy who's like, ⁓ this guy, it's not even true. I'm just like, what's not true? Like you can't just be like, that's not even true. And he's like, this fool. I can't remember what the I can't even remember what the phrase was, just cause I just like moved on from it. I'm just like Aaron: Yeah. Alex: You took time out of your day to like write this comment, and then I like, this is why people need to go to the gym and people need to get into healthy relationships, because then social media would be way better. Do you want to know why social media sucks? It's because it's a bunch of people who have shitty lives, have terrible jobs, have horrible health, and just want to be pissed off at the rest of the world for trying to get better at the things that they're at the like whatever it it may be. So I don't know if there's a whole lot of Aaron: Who Better themselves. Yeah. Alex: advice we can give except ignore the noise like on social media. I'm doing seventy five hard right now and one of the it's not necess technically part of seventy five hard, but part of it is staying off of social media with the exception of I do have like my job that I have to do. And so once I'm through those seventy five days, I'm gonna be getting back into it and showing pictures of my half naked body to to like the rest of the world and I just have to ignore all of the people who are inevitably gonna be like, that's that sucks. Like what Aaron's already going through. You're not an elite athlete. Like just just posting just posting pictures of my my progress. That's all I'm posting right now. Aaron: Yeah. Well it's like something I have to like ⁓ I have to ⁓ preemptively ⁓ say ⁓ like have these comments before someone else is coming like this isn't I'm not showing this pictures of me shirtless to brag how great I am. This is this is just showing people what is possible that a guy who struggled with his weight for, you know, twenty, thirty years finally figured something out. It isn't like, hey, I want you to comment how sexy I look. That's not what is. And I had a buddy that asked me, he's like, is it weird? Post that stuff's like, I and this is good. I can put this other. I hate it. I don't like having to do it. I'm a pretty private person when it comes to all this stuff. But unfortunately, guess what gets the most clicks? A picture where I have my shirt off. I literally was gonna tell you this before we even got on. I was just looking at one of my ⁓ I was just going through the Instagram ⁓ like views and stuff. The the thumbnail where I have a picture of his shirtless is like ten times more views than one where I was fat. Like the thumbnail I was fat. And so it's just like That's just I know, like I I hate the game of social media and we've talked about this in other other podcasts, but like that's just the game you have to you kinda have to play. And that's why, you know, sorry, I'm not a sexy woman and I can show off my my cleavage because I'd probably get a ten thousand times the amount of of views if I was. And so it's yeah, I I it's not something that's comfortable for me to like throw out there. I still get uncomfortable, like it we were ⁓ we were out of this like indoor water park up in up in doesn't matter. ⁓ not like Great Wolf Lodge, but is the place we were staying at had a had an indoor water park. I still don't like to walk around with my shirt off. Like like in public. It's still weird to me to do that. And so it's not something that I definitely don't like having to do it on the internet, but that's just how you can show your results. Because if you can't if you don't have receipts, then it's not real. So Whatever. I got called up by my daughter. She thought a picture that I put up was AI. Alex: Like thanks. Thank you, daughter. Aaron: And she's seven. She's like, is this an AI picture, Dad? I was like, that's that's a picture that we took at the at the water park. No. She's like, ⁓ it just looks AI. I was just like, I don't know if I take that as a compliment. Or be concerned that my daughter is already knowing. Maybe it's good that she's calling AI stuff out. I don't know. But it's just. I will just take it. I will take it as a compliment. Like Alex: Darren would say, take it as a compliment. Take it as a compliment. You're you're looking you're looking like AI quality ⁓ in real life. Aaron: I had another buddy that called me out and asked me if it was AI. I was just like, dude, is that an AI? I was like, he's like, that ending it was something. He's like, is the the ending thing screen? I was just like, why would I Alex: Like do you know me? Like sometimes like fr with adults it's kind of interesting. Like you do you know me? Do you think I would like do you think I would do that? No, I don't think you would do that. Aaron: I like, why would I I don't I don't need I don't need to do that. Like I I'm showing real results and real whatever. Like that's nope, not not Alex: That's not the goal. Yeah, the goal is not not to lie to that's always been our goal. Even when we were unsexy businessmen, which we still do unsexy businessmen, like it's it's all been about we see all these people who are lying to you. And then what's unfortunate, there's so many liars out there that nobody believes anybody anymore. And so that I've and this is almost turned into like the social media podcast. Like there's going to be some sort of come to Jesus moment with all of the AI that is being created. Like your friends are saying that, where a a Aaron: Yes. Yes. Alex: eventually it's gonna be like nobody trusts any of this so I guess we have to go back to the real world because we can't trust anything on a screen. So here we are. I think that'll be fine. And then people will get outside and get healthy. Aaron: Good. Good. I can't I can't I can't wait. So I mean I guess Yeah, start start working out. But I mean I I think that's the thing is like avoiding just ⁓ the negativity, especially if you ⁓ luckily, like you said, Alex, we do have great friends and like family that are supportive and so we don't have to we don't experience that. but there's yeah, but there definitely are people that do that are that don't have that supportive whatever. That was reading something, God, where was it, about the Alex: The abuse. Aaron: Well, I mean it's the the classic quote is you're an average of the five people you spend the most time with, whatever. But then that's not the interesting one. The interesting one that I was reading about was a study about the obese obesity is contagious study. It was done in 2007. ⁓ and it tracked 12,067 people over 32 years. Damn. And found your odds of becoming obese rose 57 57% if a friend did wait, what? Let me read this again. ⁓ your odds of becoming ⁓ obese rose 57% if a friend did, 40% if a sibling did, or 37% of a spouse did, like became obese. And so that's kind of I don't know, kind of intri I don't know why I even bring this up. It was just one of those like I never thought about that. Alex: Well d well no, like what's interesting about that is like just look at like your experience. So like now I'm not gonna like name people, but like so I'm getting healthy. Other people that you and I both know are starting to get healthy. Aaron: Yeah. Alex: People close to me in my personal life have started going down, like have and have told me like I've been inspired by your like your commitment to this. So like now I'm going to do it. So that like that tracks where it's just essentially you want to be like the people that you o are around and have similar goals to the people who you're around. Because you don't want to be b like either like Aaron: You interact with. Alex: I I'm just I'm gonna use the fat piece of shit term, but like lots of different things. Like you don't wanna be the asshole, you don't want to be the fat piece of shit. Like you don't wanna be the outlier in a group of people. Like that's just going back to it all comes back to community. Like we wanna be as similar similar with enough differences to be interesting, but we want to be pretty much the same. Like we can dis we Yeah, go ahead. I was just gonna we can disagree on like ⁓ Aaron: Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I mean and I No, go, go, go. Alex: Like we we like basketball, but we can disagree on is SGA a flopper or not. We can disagree on is LeBron the greatest of all time, but we still have the basketball thing like that we like, just using like as another example. Like it's similar enough, but with v slight variations. Right. Aaron: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yes. Yeah, and still be friends. I mean we could do a podcast on that. I we probably have. the like no what I was gonna say, I don't know if he wants me to mention his name and we have enough siblings where It doesn't matter. ⁓ but I can so I can just say sibling. Well, I mean, we have a sibling that listens to the podcast and says that he's you know, he's he's been losing weight and he's been enjoying the content. And it's just like that's I'm like, good, that's why we're doing this kind of stuff. It's not just for our our siblings and our friends, it's for anyone out there who, you know, is in a similar situation where I mean, where where I was with being super overweight where with you were Alex and just being ⁓ this is gonna unhealthy in general. I would never say you're super overweight. ⁓ but like just the different the different stages or different ⁓ yeah, just different places that you can be coming from that there is a way that you can get healthy, ⁓ that doesn't require you, you know, surgery and shots and all this kind of stuff. to to do that. And so that's that's literally why we do this. That's why we did it with the why we do it with the business side too, is is you can become financially, you know, independent. ⁓ and then the same thing with health. Like you can become health independent. Whatever that would be. Sure, sure, sure, sure. and so it's just like it's it's nice. It's that that's that's the nice feedback that we get. And I've gotten that feedback not just from us from siblings, but from lots of friends ⁓ as well. So it is it is it is nice. And that's that's what I remember way more than any of the negative stuff. Like I any of the the stupid negative stuff that I get, which is, you know, the I'm sure the bigger the channel gets, the more we're gonna we'll we'll experience. But I just luckily I'm just kinda like Alex: Health dependent, yeah. Aaron: Okay, cool. I'm glad I'm glad you you think this video stupid that I posted. ⁓ okay, cool. Right on. Anyways, I'm gonna go back to what I'm doing. Go back to what you're doing. Probably going to somebody else's video and saying something negative there too, because that makes you feel better. ⁓ but yeah. Alex: Well, I think that's what when we were talking with Darren, like his big thing was like creating that community. Like he started was it seventy five hard or was it like another I should pay attention. Was it for the seventy five hard, right? Aaron: He had like a WhatsApp group. So in I think I think he had separate ones. I think he had one and then he Alex: Okay. I can't remember what's for, but it was in that WhatsApp group and he surrounded himself with people that were on like a similar similar mission as he was and that makes it easier. Like humans want that community, so surround yourself with people who are going to be positive and suff support you as you're going through whatever it is you're doing. Aaron: Supportive. It makes such a big difference to have ⁓ like it is a support system, but I was like someone that can hold you accountable. Like just for me, having my coach and having to having to every day tell them what my macros are and how many steps I got that day. Like anytime I don't hit 10,000 steps, I feel like a piece of shit. I'm just like, God damn. Damn it, I didn't hit 10,000 steps and now he's gonna be mad at me. I mean, it's never like, hey, you're a big piece of shit. But I just like, I just but having that, there's been multiple times, dude, where I'm at like 8,000 and it's nine o'clock at night. And I'm just like, I'm gonna go in the ⁓ I have a treadmill down in my in my basement. I was like, I'm gonna go in the treadmill and just go walk. Or sometimes yeah, I'll just go walk, walk around. Like whatever it is. Like I I have to, I don't wanna Alex: A thousand steps. Yeah. Aaron: disappoint this person. So having those people in your life makes a giant difference. And it just helps it makes it it makes it easier to accomplish your goals because you just have one other person or maybe multiple people that you are ⁓ accountable f accountable towards. And he's never made me feel bad about any of this. But just just having that makes a huge difference. Alex: Like and all what's interesting about this conversation too is also I almost feel like we should restructure like what it is. Like, ⁓ or are coming up on finishing the podcast, you want to like do it all again. Like it's not just negative people, it's also like indifferent people. Like people who don't care about something that is as important as your health or something that you're going through or striving to do, goals that you have, even if it's not health based goals, like If you are around people who like don't care about goals that you have and helping you achieve them, those are also people that you probably shouldn't be around. Like it's I it makes me sad when I see like I have a friend of mine. I shouldn't have said that. I know somebody who their their loved one that I have a sibling ⁓ who their loved one like Aaron: Sibling. Just say sibling. Alex: goes and finds community elsewhere because that person is not supportive of them. Like where it's just like, I'm not getting the specifically like spiritual nourishment that I like I need to from this. And I'm not saying like don't have your own things that you go go and like do, like your own hobbies and whatnot, but this is like a very deeply important thing in spirituality, I I would assume is an important thing. That they had to like go find another community 'cause cause this other person didn't want to support it. So I'm just like Aaron: Mm-hmm. Not for me. Alex: You need to be around people who share similar or th they don't even have to share similar rules. They just have to like incre like, yeah, that's awesome. Do it. Yeah. Aaron: Did they're supportive? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah, there's I mean, there's lots of of of friends and family that like I it be the person that people want to talk to. Like that's all it really is. Like I have friends, I have family that that will come and talk to me about stuff that don't affect my life at all. That isn't a big deal to me, but it's a big deal to them. And so I will listen, I will comment, I will give my opinion. Or sometimes I just will listen and that's it. Like, yeah, man, that sucks, or what's go whatever's going on. and this isn't again to like toot my own horn, but I just like in general be the kind of friend or family member that that people want to come up to and like not just vent to because it would suck if you're just always getting vented to, but if like be their cheerleader too about about stuff, like, ⁓ I'm I'm going for this promotion or I'm getting I'm just trying to think of something else besides fitness. ⁓ you know, I'm gonna start my own business. Like that they're coming to you and you're gonna be like, sweet man, that's awesome. Let me give you some advice on on what you could do with this, this, and this. ⁓ or if you don't have advice, just be like, that's awesome. I'm ⁓ you're you're going for your I'm just trying to think of something I have zero knowledge of. You're going for your master's degree. I I didn't even graduate college, so there we go. ⁓ you get you're going for your master's degree. Cool, dude. Well, what does that entail? What are you doing with this? This that like just be the person. Who is supportive and kind of a cheerleader for anyone that's doing anything positive in their life? Or another one, ⁓ Juan. We had him on last week. He's doing a a 10K. He was telling me how he was trained for it. I was like, that's really cool. He wanted me to do it. I have zero interest in doing a 10K, and which I have I have told him ⁓ personally, so this isn't a weird thing. but he's doing that. ⁓ and then I'm like, dude, are you gonna do like a marathon? He's like, ⁓ maybe eventually. It's like, what goes into that? I don't know, just like. Even though I have zero interest in doing any sort of 10K or a marathon or something like that, the fact that someone else it is their interest and they wanna do it, I think it's awesome. And I wanna I wanna be a positive vibe for whatever they're doing. Alex: Yeah, I I I I I yeah, I I agree. I have nothing to add to that. I it's really just about surrounding yourself with with people and then also being the person that you wish was around you, supporting you through whatever it is. Awesome. Well, thank you everyone for listening. We will ⁓ chat with you next week. Go be unsexy.