Latest / Three Rebel Souls / Bonus: Intuition - Trust yo'self

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Bonus: Intuition - Trust yo'self · Three Rebel Souls

0:01
Audio Only - All Participants: Hello.
0:02
Audio Only - All Participants: How are you doing today?
0:06
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
0:07
Audio Only - All Participants: I am great.
0:08
Audio Only - All Participants: We should start all over again.
0:10
Audio Only - All Participants: No, I love it.
0:12
Audio Only - All Participants: Take two.
0:13
Audio Only - All Participants: Isn't that what that's for?
0:14
Audio Only - All Participants: No, no, no.
0:17
Audio Only - All Participants: Try again.
0:18
Audio Only - All Participants: It's not gonna get any better.
0:20
Audio Only - All Participants: It's not.
0:21
Audio Only - All Participants: 'Cause now I have the giggles, so.
0:26
Audio Only - All Participants: Hello, my rebel sisters.
0:27
Audio Only - All Participants: How are you?
0:28
Audio Only - All Participants: Someday- Although- we're gonna figure out how to do that Smoothly This is gonna...
0:33
Audio Only - All Participants: Right, it's gonna be a little smoother.
0:35
Audio Only - All Participants: Fuck that.
0:35
Audio Only - All Participants: Although- That's boring although, although we really didn't get into how we are today at all.
0:41
Audio Only - All Participants: I know.
0:42
Audio Only - All Participants: It's true.
0:42
Audio Only - All Participants: So this one is actually genuine.
0:45
Audio Only - All Participants: This part, we just went right into talking.
0:48
Audio Only - All Participants: Technicalities of lighting and...
0:52
Audio Only - All Participants: I am on the struggle bus with the lighting situation.
0:56
Audio Only - All Participants: That's how we're doing.
0:59
Audio Only - All Participants: Working out the lights.
1:01
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
1:03
Audio Only - All Participants: Other than that, I am not happy that it's dark outside right now.
1:08
Audio Only - All Participants: I know Don't like it.
1:10
Audio Only - All Participants: I know people like fall, but it's depressing.
1:12
Audio Only - All Participants: We're on the other side of the, of the equinox.
1:16
Audio Only - All Participants: Nights are getting longer.
1:18
Audio Only - All Participants: Ugh.
1:20
Audio Only - All Participants: Just makes me wanna hibernate even more.
1:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Get out your, get out your blankie with arms.
1:28
Audio Only - All Participants: It's almost time.
1:28
Audio Only - All Participants: I felt it last week.
1:30
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm like, it was so cold, I'm like, "Do I turn on the heat?"
1:33
Audio Only - All Participants: It was so cold.
1:34
Audio Only - All Participants: I was like, "Oh, it's almost time for the other blanket."
1:39
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
1:39
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
1:41
Audio Only - All Participants: Um.
1:41
Audio Only - All Participants: Yep.
1:44
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, no.
1:44
Audio Only - All Participants: Other than that, I'm good.
1:48
Audio Only - All Participants: Payem I am tired, but I'm also grateful that September is over, because I've got so much more breathing room in my schedule now.
2:02
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, that's good.
2:05
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, and a couple fun things to look forward to.
2:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Going to visit my brand new niece this weekend.
2:12
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh my God, yes.
2:13
Audio Only - All Participants: So exciting.
2:15
Audio Only - All Participants: And hang out with my other niece and nephew.
2:18
Audio Only - All Participants: And then the next weekend we're taking a trip to Rochester, so I'm excited for that too.
2:27
Audio Only - All Participants: Fun.
2:28
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
2:29
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, that's awesome.
2:31
Audio Only - All Participants: Actually, it just reminded me, th- talking about babies, I just found out that my cousin's having a baby.
2:36
Audio Only - All Participants: Aw, yay.
2:37
Audio Only - All Participants: So excited, a baby.
2:39
Audio Only - All Participants: And she lives in Connecticut, so that means it's one that I can play with.
2:43
Audio Only - All Participants: It means that you're gonna- That they'll be close come up here and- That's right.
2:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
2:49
Audio Only - All Participants: She's the one that- Oh, maybe, yeah just got engaged.
2:51
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, nice.
2:52
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
2:52
Audio Only - All Participants: So she got a surprise baby too.
2:56
Audio Only - All Participants: So I'm so excited.
2:57
Audio Only - All Participants: Surprise.
2:58
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
3:01
Audio Only - All Participants: The babies are having babies now Mm.
3:04
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
3:05
Audio Only - All Participants: She's like part of like the younger group of, um, grandchildren Oh How are you, Space?
3:16
Audio Only - All Participants: Pretty good.
3:16
Audio Only - All Participants: Um- Spaceblown it's been a long week.
3:21
Audio Only - All Participants: Very long week.
3:22
Audio Only - All Participants: Uh- My mom has been in the hospital, had to have surgery, and it's exhausting.
3:32
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, today I feel pretty good actually, so I haven't passed out in the middle of the day, like just exhausted from all of the stuff.
3:43
Audio Only - All Participants: But I can definitely feel The undercurrent of stress in everything is my, um, my reaction to things is not as nice as it normally is.
4:02
Audio Only - All Participants: So- Mm that's one of my indicators.
4:06
Audio Only - All Participants: Like when I'm almost perpetually irritated or frustrated That means there's something else going on.
4:17
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
4:18
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
4:20
Audio Only - All Participants: I get that.
4:20
Audio Only - All Participants: So, yeah.
4:22
Audio Only - All Participants: Um- I always say that when I'm, like, tired, hungry, stressed, like, those things, I'm, like, a much different version of me.
4:33
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, yeah.
4:34
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
4:36
Audio Only - All Participants: And the stress, I think, is part of the exhaustion, and then, you know, spending time in the hospital is super exhausting.
4:43
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
4:44
Audio Only - All Participants: It's also draining.
4:45
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
4:46
Audio Only - All Participants: Hospital energy's not fun.
4:48
Audio Only - All Participants: No, it's not.
4:50
Audio Only - All Participants: Bright lights, lots of noises, lots of smells, lots of things.
4:54
Audio Only - All Participants: Sick people.
4:54
Audio Only - All Participants: It's, like, very overstimulating.
4:56
Audio Only - All Participants: You know?
4:56
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
4:56
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
4:56
Audio Only - All Participants: It's just so much going on.
4:59
Audio Only - All Participants: There's a lot of energy there.
5:00
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
5:01
Audio Only - All Participants: Yes.
5:02
Audio Only - All Participants: So, have to be very cognizant of my energy, so.
5:11
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
5:12
Audio Only - All Participants: But other than that, good.
5:15
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, again, today I feel a little bit better, so.
5:21
Audio Only - All Participants: That's good.
5:22
Audio Only - All Participants: Yep All right.
5:26
Audio Only - All Participants: Yay.
5:28
Audio Only - All Participants: So diving into today, we are gonna be talking about trusting yourself, and this is a bonus episode, everybody.
5:39
Audio Only - All Participants: Yay.
5:40
Audio Only - All Participants: So happy 11/11, because that's when this is gonna be released.
5:45
Audio Only - All Participants: I actually know the date on this one, so 'cause it's totally off-brand, uh- Off our regular schedule this will be- Right right after another episode is released on a Thursday or something.
5:59
Audio Only - All Participants: And Happy Veterans Day to all of you out there.
6:01
Audio Only - All Participants: Thank you so much for your service.
6:04
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, but we've been having a lot of behind-the-scenes conversations lately about What it really means to, like, hold your own center, especially when the world around you or your internal world is completely shifting.
6:25
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, I know I personally have been thinking a lot about, um, the energy I burn when I'm trying to make a decision, uh, on something.
6:38
Audio Only - All Participants: You know, asking friends, looking for signs, overanalyzing everything.
6:45
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, and that Kind of confuses my inner guidance, right?
6:55
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, it sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between what's anxiety and, um, what is my intuition or my inner knowing trying to tell me.
7:08
Audio Only - All Participants: But real leadership, um, the kind where you are truly sovereign in your own life, um, and your, with your time and with your energy, you know, when you start rebuilding your relationship with that You know, that's, that's what
7:30
Audio Only - All Participants: we're here to talk about.
7:31
Audio Only - All Participants: So we sat down to build out this blu- blueprint, um, for this course that we're discussing about self-leadership for rebels.
7:44
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, and every thread that we pulled on kept leading back to one core truth, and that's that you can't build sustainable boundaries or step into genuine courage and, um, like you sure as hell can't live authentically if you
8:05
Audio Only - All Participants: don't know yourself and trust yourself.
8:10
Audio Only - All Participants: So we're peeling back some layers on intuition, not the mystical, clean, unicorns and rainbows version of it.
8:21
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
8:21
Audio Only - All Participants: But the really messy, inconvenient, in the trenches reality of what that means and what it looks and feels like in your body, and how do you know when it's your gut talking versus some old fear script that's running
8:38
Audio Only - All Participants: in the background.
8:39
Audio Only - All Participants: So, um, you know, how do we listen to ourselves and just really begin that daily practice of believing ourselves again?
8:53
Audio Only - All Participants: So, um, when we talk about intuition, it can be a little woo-woo to some people, but in real life, it's really, I think, usually, uh, deeply grounded, right?
9:13
Audio Only - All Participants: For me anyway.
9:14
Audio Only - All Participants: So how does intuition actually show up for you physically or mentally?
9:19
Audio Only - All Participants: And, um- Let's just start there Physic- well, I think for me it's mostly mentally.
9:30
Audio Only - All Participants: Most, most of the time it's, it's mentally because I, I think it depends on the situation, 'cause I feel like I just It's j- I just know things- Mm and I don't, I can't explain how I know them,
9:45
Audio Only - All Participants: but I think that it's physical when it comes to making a decision.
9:52
Audio Only - All Participants: Sometimes it might just be like a right out no, 'cause I just know that and it's, maybe it's something that I've always known.
9:58
Audio Only - All Participants: But if it's something that I've had to work through is I feel it more in, like, my solar plexus is where I feel everything.
10:05
Audio Only - All Participants: Okay.
10:06
Audio Only - All Participants: And so, um, like even when I was doing classes, that's where I got my information.
10:14
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, that's where my information comes from.
10:16
Audio Only - All Participants: That's where I feel it and hear it.
10:19
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I don't hear it in my ears.
10:21
Audio Only - All Participants: It's like the voice comes from there.
10:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Hmm.
10:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, so yeah, I think it depends on the situation, but, uh, for me it's more of a knowing.
10:32
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I just Nothen 'cause I can't explain it.
10:35
Audio Only - All Participants: And so, so I think, which is why s- for so long, 'cause I can't explain things, I tend to overthink it.
10:42
Audio Only - All Participants: 'Cause it's like how could that be possible?
10:44
Audio Only - All Participants: How could I know that, right?
10:45
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, and so it's hard for me to, um- to just go with it To trust it Mm.
10:57
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
10:57
Audio Only - All Participants: That's, that's where it's always been hard for me.
10:59
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
11:02
Audio Only - All Participants: I don't know if I can Pinpoint A consistent, like, physical sensation that I get when I know that it's, like, intuition.
11:17
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
11:18
Audio Only - All Participants: But I can...
11:18
Audio Only - All Participants: I have learned to pinpoint anxiety.
11:21
Audio Only - All Participants: Okay.
11:22
Audio Only - All Participants: I know where anxiety lives in my body.
11:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
11:24
Audio Only - All Participants: And, and I think it mostly lives, like I'm...
11:31
Audio Only - All Participants: I don't know if it's necessarily, like, opposite you, Adriana, but I, uh, like, anxiety lives in my head.
11:40
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
11:40
Audio Only - All Participants: Right?
11:41
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
11:41
Audio Only - All Participants: So, like, this comes up often when I'm- When I am W- like trying to work through something.
11:49
Audio Only - All Participants: And like every, every once in a while, like my therapist will go, "Well, well, how do you feel?"
11:58
Audio Only - All Participants: And then I'll like explain the logic and the, the rational, and she'll be like, "That's not what I asked you.
12:06
Audio Only - All Participants: I know how you think."
12:07
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
12:08
Audio Only - All Participants: Right, right.
12:09
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
12:09
Audio Only - All Participants: How do you feel?
12:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
12:11
Audio Only - All Participants: And so I definitely have that habit of like overanalyzing- Yeah and trying to like rationalize everything or like do all the fact-finding, um And I don't know if I can, like, pinpoint a moment in time where that was,
12:30
Audio Only - All Participants: like, where that started, but I do know that, um That I've always felt like I had to explain myself.
12:43
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
12:44
Audio Only - All Participants: That, like, that I just know- Yeah wasn't always, like, a good enough reason, right?
12:53
Audio Only - All Participants: Even though I do think that I've had, like I've been very intuitive for most of my life.
12:59
Audio Only - All Participants: I kind of had to learn to Disregard the intuition and validate with facts.
13:09
Audio Only - All Participants: Or, like, get a second opinion or s- you know what I mean?
13:13
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
13:13
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, because you have to go with the flow, right?
13:14
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, you have to go along with what everybody else believes, thinks, you know, it, it is because it's so out there, how could that be?
13:21
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
13:21
Audio Only - All Participants: So that's why you have to go on ex- explaining yourself.
13:28
Audio Only - All Participants: 'Cause that's part of the beat down, right?
13:30
Audio Only - All Participants: Is that you have to go along with the herd, basically Well, yeah, there are consequences, right?
13:39
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, yes.
13:39
Audio Only - All Participants: I know we're jumping ahead a little bit.
13:41
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
13:42
Audio Only - All Participants: But, um, that's totally okay for me.
13:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, 'cause similar to...
13:50
Audio Only - All Participants: Gosh, I'm trying to remember.
13:52
Audio Only - All Participants: When I was thinking about this- I used to party a lot, and, um, we would have people over a lot.
14:05
Audio Only - All Participants: I mean, like, a lot.
14:06
Audio Only - All Participants: And one time this guy came to the party and I didn't know who he was, but I did not like him.
14:13
Audio Only - All Participants: I did not trust him.
14:14
Audio Only - All Participants: I didn't want him there.
14:15
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
14:15
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, that's all I knew.
14:18
Audio Only - All Participants: I didn't know his name.
14:19
Audio Only - All Participants: I didn't know who he came with.
14:21
Audio Only - All Participants: All I knew was he felt bad, and I knew myself well enough even then, 'cause I had been taught to trust that feeling, 'cause bad things happen if I didn't, that I just said that.
14:42
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm like, "That guy needs to go.
14:45
Audio Only - All Participants: He's not allowed to be here."
14:48
Audio Only - All Participants: You know?
14:49
Audio Only - All Participants: This was m- where I lived.
14:52
Audio Only - All Participants: It was my apartment with my friend- Oh, yeah who was also a girl, and I'm like, "He shouldn't be here, so it's not safe for him to be here."
15:04
Audio Only - All Participants: That's what it...
15:05
Audio Only - All Participants: That's what the message was.
15:07
Audio Only - All Participants: And needless to say, he proved my point, because he got very combative and threatening, and people were literally, like, dragging him away.
15:22
Audio Only - All Participants: So, um, yeah.
15:25
Audio Only - All Participants: Because he was asked to leave, he got that way?
15:28
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
15:28
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, exactly.
15:29
Audio Only - All Participants: So he pr- yeah.
15:30
Audio Only - All Participants: 'Cause he didn't do anything.
15:33
Audio Only - All Participants: You don't have to.
15:34
Audio Only - All Participants: You just know.
15:35
Audio Only - All Participants: But I didn't have any proof.
15:36
Audio Only - All Participants: I didn't know him.
15:37
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
15:38
Audio Only - All Participants: He really was, wasn't even there very long.
15:40
Audio Only - All Participants: It was just I know this feeling.
15:43
Audio Only - All Participants: I've had it before, and bad things happen when I don't listen to it, so you gotta go.
15:53
Audio Only - All Participants: So- There is no proof for intuition.
15:54
Audio Only - All Participants: It's j- you just know Now I would say his vibe.
16:01
Audio Only - All Participants: I can tell you his vibe is bad.
16:04
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, yeah.
16:05
Audio Only - All Participants: His energy is not good.
16:07
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
16:07
Audio Only - All Participants: Vibes are off.
16:08
Audio Only - All Participants: Something is going to happen.
16:09
Audio Only - All Participants: I didn't have that language 30 years ago.
16:12
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
16:12
Audio Only - All Participants: So all I knew was I've had this experience before, and when I ignore it, somebody is gonna pay.
16:22
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
16:23
Audio Only - All Participants: Probably me, but it could be another woman.
16:27
Audio Only - All Participants: So I don't know, and I don't care if you're offended.
16:31
Audio Only - All Participants: Like- Right I wrote, when I was writing about this, I'm like, "I don't regret my decision today, and I would make the same decision again."
16:39
Audio Only - All Participants: Like- I, I did what I thought needed to be done, and I don't care Interesting.
16:52
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah But again, I had no basis for my opinion.
16:58
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
17:00
Audio Only - All Participants: Just the knowing of it, so Or just not, or even if you didn't feel danger, just not liking someone, right?
17:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, you're, you're, right off the bat you're just like, "Mm."
17:12
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
17:14
Audio Only - All Participants: And maybe it's not a danger that you're feeling, but just like- Right yeah, that person, no.
17:17
Audio Only - All Participants: Not for me.
17:18
Audio Only - All Participants: Not for me.
17:18
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
17:19
Audio Only - All Participants: But simply- Just vibes are off.
17:20
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
17:21
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
17:21
Audio Only - All Participants: And, you know, people will tell you, "Oh, you're just being too whatever."
17:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
17:25
Audio Only - All Participants: You know?
17:25
Audio Only - All Participants: And- Good.
17:26
Audio Only - All Participants: I'll be too whatever but, but that, but that, um, you know, that is, for me, that's how It w- I kept having to push it down was because- Mm-hmm everyone else was telling me I was wrong, because- And
17:41
Audio Only - All Participants: how do you justify it?
17:42
Audio Only - All Participants: how the fuck could you know?
17:43
Audio Only - All Participants: You don't even know them.
17:44
Audio Only - All Participants: How could you know that whether you like them or not?
17:46
Audio Only - All Participants: 'Cause I just fucking know, you know?
17:48
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
17:49
Audio Only - All Participants: And s- some people, it's like, "Well, that's crazy.
17:51
Audio Only - All Participants: You, you haven't even..."
17:52
Audio Only - All Participants: O- okay.
17:53
Audio Only - All Participants: And then that's how you get in trouble, right?
17:55
Audio Only - All Participants: Because then- Yes you're like, "Okay, I don't know," so then you gi- you give that person a chance, and then they might end up being someone who can harm you or just, just not someone that's for you.
18:05
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
18:09
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
18:10
Audio Only - All Participants: And, and oftentimes, well again, it just goes back to like I just know or I just have a feeling isn't an acceptable justification.
18:22
Audio Only - All Participants: And so I think, I think that pattern over and over again was like, I don't know, I just, I just have a sense or I just have a feeling.
18:29
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
18:29
Audio Only - All Participants: When that's dismissed, that is probably what built my reflex to like prove, right?
18:39
Audio Only - All Participants: Like the- Yeah like now I feel like I have to be a fucking prosecutor and like gather evidence to support my case.
18:49
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
18:49
Audio Only - All Participants: Do you know what I mean?
18:50
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
18:50
Audio Only - All Participants: So that I can like...
18:52
Audio Only - All Participants: And, and I...
18:53
Audio Only - All Participants: And again, there's ways that that like diligence has served me in other areas of life, but it took me a really long time to learn to trust myself again, and there's still moments where I struggle with it and
19:07
Audio Only - All Participants: have to like discern.
19:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, okay, am I, am I, are my thoughts too loud for me to hear my intuition, right?
19:18
Audio Only - All Participants: 'Cause they'll take over- Yes and silence- Yeah, yeah everything else.
19:22
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
19:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
19:25
Audio Only - All Participants: Absolutely.
19:26
Audio Only - All Participants: And so Erica, I think, so I, I relate to both of you, right, 'cause sometimes I just know something and I can't even tell you where it's coming from, I just know it.
19:35
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
19:35
Audio Only - All Participants: That's the knowing piece.
19:39
Audio Only - All Participants: The- If I'm trying to make a decision.
19:44
Audio Only - All Participants: I know, uh, uh, with Erica, to you too, the, I know where anxiety lives in my body.
19:51
Audio Only - All Participants: I- that's in my chest.
19:53
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
19:54
Audio Only - All Participants: But then what happens is my brain starts to tell a story about why I feel anxious.
20:00
Audio Only - All Participants: So it doesn't start in my head.
20:03
Audio Only - All Participants: It starts in my body, and the head takes over.
20:08
Audio Only - All Participants: So that's the piece where it's like Now, I'm like, we're not telling stories about this.
20:17
Audio Only - All Participants: First question is, is this mine?
20:20
Audio Only - All Participants: Right?
20:20
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
20:23
Audio Only - All Participants: That's the first question.
20:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Am I actually feeling anxious, or am I picking up anxiety or some other emotion that I don't know from somebody else?
20:34
Audio Only - All Participants: And then from there, if it's mine, now I can just sit with it and just try to feel the feeling to figure out what it's actually trying to tell me without telling my- without making up a story about
20:50
Audio Only - All Participants: it, 'cause our brains are amazing storytellers.
20:55
Audio Only - All Participants: People who say they aren't creative, think about all the shit your head says to you.
21:00
Audio Only - All Participants: You are a fucking creative- human being, let me tell you.
21:03
Audio Only - All Participants: It's that psycho motherfucker.
21:05
Audio Only - All Participants: Hard to relate to that one.
21:07
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm super creative.
21:07
Audio Only - All Participants: Can spin a goddamn tale.
21:11
Audio Only - All Participants: It could tell massive amounts of fucking stories.
21:13
Audio Only - All Participants: It can weave all sorts of webs.
21:15
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
21:17
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
21:18
Audio Only - All Participants: For me, the anxiety lives in my jaw, my neck- Mm and my shoulders.
21:25
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, that's how I know when thoughts are taking over and intuition doesn't have any room to, like, breathe.
21:34
Audio Only - All Participants: It's funny.
21:35
Audio Only - All Participants: I feel it.
21:35
Audio Only - All Participants: I can feel anxiety in my chest, 'cause also in my heart just is like, what the fuck, right?
21:44
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, but I actually feel it in my thighs.
21:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
21:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
21:48
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, my thighs tighten up when, when I'm, like, anxious and, like, fearful.
21:55
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
21:56
Audio Only - All Participants: This is where it starts, and then it's like everything reacts in a chain, and all of a sudden- Mm I'm like, whoa, I am, like, flexing every muscle in my body right now.
22:05
Audio Only - All Participants: Like...
22:06
Audio Only - All Participants: Right but it always starts here, and I- Mm always feel it here.
22:09
Audio Only - All Participants: And I get tension headaches when- Mm there's some, like, underlying anxiety or stress about something.
22:17
Audio Only - All Participants: Get really bad tension headaches.
22:19
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, yeah.
22:23
Audio Only - All Participants: So yeah, I was thinking about how to describe anxiety.
22:27
Audio Only - All Participants: For me, it feels like static before tension.
22:31
Audio Only - All Participants: So the tension- Hmm is the secondary reaction to me.
22:36
Audio Only - All Participants: The first thing I could think of is just static, 'cause it's just like signals firing, and it doesn't mean anything until I put a story to it, right?
22:46
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, or figure out what it's actually saying.
22:49
Audio Only - All Participants: So it's just kkk.
22:54
Audio Only - All Participants: Sure.
22:54
Audio Only - All Participants: But my knowing is very subtle.
22:57
Audio Only - All Participants: It's subtle.
22:58
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
22:59
Audio Only - All Participants: And my intuition e- almost even more so.
23:01
Audio Only - All Participants: It's like- Yeah it's so quiet.
23:03
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I have to really, like, feel it, and that, that is, like, kind of- Like a warm hum Mm.
23:15
Audio Only - All Participants: That's how subtle it is.
23:17
Audio Only - All Participants: It's just, it's so underneath everything else and the day-to-day stuff.
23:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Do you know what I mean?
23:26
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
23:26
Audio Only - All Participants: I feel like that's why the advice of, of- Get quiet, like go within is so popular because it's so true.
23:37
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
23:37
Audio Only - All Participants: And like you, you have to...
23:39
Audio Only - All Participants: 'Cause that's the only way you learn to hear it, 'cause it is that subtle.
23:42
Audio Only - All Participants: You know?
23:42
Audio Only - All Participants: I mean, that's, I, that's how I learned how to do it.
23:44
Audio Only - All Participants: I don't know if I talked about this in, on the podcast at all, but I did a, a psychic mediumship course, um, o- back in, starting in like 2020.
23:55
Audio Only - All Participants: But I wasn't looking for a psychic mediumship course, I just happened to...
24:01
Audio Only - All Participants: I wanted, I, I found the course that said, um, sharpen your intuition, and I was like, "I so need to take that because I know I don't trust myself."
24:09
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
24:09
Audio Only - All Participants: Right?
24:10
Audio Only - All Participants: And this was in the middle of like, or I'd just got divorced, and that was so helpful to me because that's how I learned how to like listen to myself.
24:19
Audio Only - All Participants: If it hadn't been...
24:20
Audio Only - All Participants: Which is so good.
24:20
Audio Only - All Participants: Again, I wasn't looking for that type of course that what ended up being, and it was great, but I learned so much about myself through that course and going within.
24:28
Audio Only - All Participants: And that's how I knew where I, where I got like, that, that I get my information from my solar plexus, because I went in there and was like, "I don't fucking know how.
24:38
Audio Only - All Participants: Like how?
24:39
Audio Only - All Participants: How do I hear it?
24:40
Audio Only - All Participants: I don't know how."
24:41
Audio Only - All Participants: Right?
24:41
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, so...
24:43
Audio Only - All Participants: And, and in 2020, this stuff was talked about a little more, but not as much as it, it is today.
24:49
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
24:50
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, so that was really helpful for me to, to learn to go within and listen.
25:01
Audio Only - All Participants: I think that, um, for the longest time I, you said something earlier, Sloan, about like, is this mine or is this someone else's?
25:15
Audio Only - All Participants: I think I underestimated my ability to, like, absorb other people's emotions.
25:20
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, yeah.
25:20
Audio Only - All Participants: Which is often, like, I could pick up on the temperature of the room or, like, the anxiety or the fear or, like, whatever, like- Heavy underlying emotional state- Yeah was in, in that space, right?
25:34
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, but it was always difficult for me to create that separation.
25:44
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I have to, I- for the longest time, I had to have, like, full physical separation in order for me to be able to, like, sit with myself and discern or, like, separate what's mine versus what's somebody else's.
25:56
Audio Only - All Participants: Or even, like, how something feels to me to be able to- Mm like, access or tap into my own intuition.
26:05
Audio Only - All Participants: I needed that, like, physical separation.
26:07
Audio Only - All Participants: I need it less now, but I still sometimes have a hard time discerning.
26:13
Audio Only - All Participants: And like, we've got better, like, I've got better tools for it now- Mm-hmm for, like, kind of protecting my energy or guarding my energy.
26:19
Audio Only - All Participants: But it's, it is very challenging, and it is a, a consistent practice for me.
26:27
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
26:27
Audio Only - All Participants: I think because I learned to silence it or- justify it- Mm-hmm.
26:37
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm for so long.
26:39
Audio Only - All Participants: Or like- Over explain it would talk myself, yeah, would talk myself out of things that were coming up in my intuition because it didn't make any logical sense, so I had to figure out, you know, what did make
26:52
Audio Only - All Participants: logical sense.
26:53
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
26:56
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
26:57
Audio Only - All Participants: I, I wonder t-too, though, like how a lot of that of picking up other pe- I mean, we do pick up other people's energy, right?
27:05
Audio Only - All Participants: But I also wonder, like, what part of that too is just, like, the pattern.
27:12
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, you're looking at patterns that you recognize from, from Because For a long time you've had to look at those things to keep yourself safe.
27:22
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
27:22
Audio Only - All Participants: Right?
27:23
Audio Only - All Participants: So is it, like, is it intuition or just, like, pattern- Hypervigilance or, yeah right, right.
27:27
Audio Only - All Participants: Pattern recognition or something like, "Oh, I recognize," or right?
27:30
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, um, is it intuition or is it pattern recognition, like your perception of when you start noticing that like, oh, that person's upset, right?
27:42
Audio Only - All Participants: Or that person's pulling away from me, you know?
27:45
Audio Only - All Participants: So you know what I mean?
27:46
Audio Only - All Participants: Is it, like, intuition or is it, like- These patterns that we've been doing over and over again because we've had to keep ourselves safe, which it, it is part of self-trust, right?
27:58
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, you had to do that in order to keep yourself safe at some point Is it both?
28:08
Audio Only - All Participants: Well, I think that's a good question because I think sometimes our, like our nervous systems are, are programmed to keep us safe, right?
28:22
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
28:22
Audio Only - All Participants: So there's like the, the fight or flight, and we're looking for patterns where in the past we might have missed something or we felt unsafe.
28:35
Audio Only - All Participants: And the hard part for me is, 'cause my pattern recognition is off the charts, but sometimes the anxiety w- or like that, like that part of my nervous system will like kick into gear because it recognizes a pattern,
29:00
Audio Only - All Participants: but it's not relevant.
29:02
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
29:02
Audio Only - All Participants: Right?
29:03
Audio Only - All Participants: In this situation, like- Mm-hmm sure, that one thing might have been true in that situation before, and that one thing is happening again, but I'm not unsafe- Right this time.
29:13
Audio Only - All Participants: I wa- uh, like maybe I was before or I felt like, you know, psychologically or emotionally unsafe, but that's not true in this situation, and it's difficult to discern When, like fear is taking over Mm-hmm because of like
29:30
Audio Only - All Participants: pattern recognition, and to sort of like separate that and, and be able to like access my intuition again.
29:41
Audio Only - All Participants: Because I do think that when we're, like when I'm in that heightened state, it can be difficult for me to switch it off to be able to access my intuition again.
29:51
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, 'cause it's so loud.
29:53
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
29:53
Audio Only - All Participants: The fear is.
29:55
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah Or the anxiety.
29:56
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
29:57
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, yeah.
29:57
Audio Only - All Participants: And that's one thing I- Right find helpful, right?
30:01
Audio Only - All Participants: It's, it is loud.
30:05
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
30:05
Audio Only - All Participants: And it is urgent.
30:08
Audio Only - All Participants: And you're overthinking it, yeah.
30:10
Audio Only - All Participants: It is not subtle.
30:11
Audio Only - All Participants: Well, I guess, is, which is the signal that it's not your intuition.
30:14
Audio Only - All Participants: Is that what you're saying?
30:15
Audio Only - All Participants: Sometimes, yeah.
30:16
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, it sounds so different than- That's the difference, right?
30:19
Audio Only - All Participants: than your intuition does.
30:20
Audio Only - All Participants: The, yeah.
30:21
Audio Only - All Participants: So here's the thing, right?
30:23
Audio Only - All Participants: Is there something I actually need to be afraid of right now?
30:28
Audio Only - All Participants: Then that's now the first question Is that, that's my first question.
30:34
Audio Only - All Participants: Am I in danger?
30:36
Audio Only - All Participants: No.
30:37
Audio Only - All Participants: Okay.
30:38
Audio Only - All Participants: So is this fear or anxiety, and is it mine?
30:44
Audio Only - All Participants: Right?
30:44
Audio Only - All Participants: The first question changes, the signal stays the same.
30:48
Audio Only - All Participants: If that makes sense.
30:50
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, because fear serves a purpose.
30:54
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
30:55
Audio Only - All Participants: Like you said, it's- Oh, yeah it's hardwired into our bodies- Right to protect us, to keep us alive.
31:02
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, it's not all bad.
31:03
Audio Only - All Participants: So I'm not gonna turn off my fear.
31:06
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
31:07
Audio Only - All Participants: But I do need to change what it's reacting to sometimes.
31:12
Audio Only - All Participants: Hmm.
31:14
Audio Only - All Participants: Like...
31:16
Audio Only - All Participants: Right, like is the fear valid or not?
31:18
Audio Only - All Participants: Correct.
31:20
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
31:21
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
31:23
Audio Only - All Participants: Am I in physical, immediate danger?
31:25
Audio Only - All Participants: Then there's nothing to be panicking over right now, so we can pause and- If yes we are, then we do something about it, right?
31:35
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, that's the whole point.
31:37
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, yeah Yeah, it's my daughter one time, she called me and she was like, "I can't da, da, da, da, da, da, da," and trying to make up her mind about something.
31:49
Audio Only - All Participants: I think I said, "Well, which one feels really urgent?"
31:54
Audio Only - All Participants: This one.
31:56
Audio Only - All Participants: And which one it feels like, okay.
32:00
Audio Only - All Participants: That one.
32:01
Audio Only - All Participants: I go, then you have your answer.
32:03
Audio Only - All Participants: That, that's the one.
32:05
Audio Only - All Participants: That one is the lie.
32:07
Audio Only - All Participants: It's your brain telling you something bad's gonna happen.
32:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
32:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Which is not the case.
32:11
Audio Only - All Participants: You know that because you know that the decision is not life-threatening.
32:18
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
32:19
Audio Only - All Participants: That's what I'm talking I'm not talking about real actual danger things.
32:22
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm talking about simple decisions that we have to make, and sometimes we get worked up about it.
32:28
Audio Only - All Participants: Uh, yeah.
32:29
Audio Only - All Participants: I do that all the time.
32:30
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, me too.
32:31
Audio Only - All Participants: So.
32:32
Audio Only - All Participants: Every person I've ever coached- in business is, is very quick to, like, react to things that, like, pop up out of nowhere that feel urgent but may not actually be important and/or detrimental.
32:46
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
32:47
Audio Only - All Participants: It can be really difficult to discern- Yeah what's truly urgent and what truly deserves your energy and your focus.
32:54
Audio Only - All Participants: Because it feels urgent, but it's not actually.
32:59
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-mm.
32:59
Audio Only - All Participants: And that, like, the, the practicing that pause is difficult- Oh, yeah for a lot of people.
33:07
Audio Only - All Participants: I feel it 'Cause everyone's taught to think.
33:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
33:11
Audio Only - All Participants: Not to feel.
33:11
Audio Only - All Participants: You're taught to think.
33:12
Audio Only - All Participants: I mean, think about Think about.
33:16
Audio Only - All Participants: Think about all the times when, even as a child, right, that even your parents were trying to teach you something and they're like, "Think about it," or, "Think about your decisions," and, "Think about this," and, "Think about what
33:27
Audio Only - All Participants: you wanna do in school," and, "Think about who you wanna be."
33:30
Audio Only - All Participants: How about you feel?
33:33
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
33:33
Audio Only - All Participants: Right?
33:33
Audio Only - All Participants: Feeling is gonna help you so much more than thinking because so that's why we all flip out when we have a decision to make, 'cause you're All right, I'm thinking about it.
33:42
Audio Only - All Participants: But I'm thinking and I'm overthinking and rethinking it again, and let me start at the beginning because I went through all that again and I didn't get anywhere, so I'm gonna start at the top.
33:50
Audio Only - All Participants: Let me just make sure.
33:52
Audio Only - All Participants: Let me just- And then you know what?
33:53
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm still thinking.
33:54
Audio Only - All Participants: But wait, there's more options.
33:55
Audio Only - All Participants: Hold on.
33:55
Audio Only - All Participants: Let me ask.
33:56
Audio Only - All Participants: And more things to think about.
33:57
Audio Only - All Participants: Let me ask what they think.
33:58
Audio Only - All Participants: Or- Let me ask them analysis let me ask them what they think.
34:01
Audio Only - All Participants: And we can all think about it together- and have a thinking party about it.
34:05
Audio Only - All Participants: And still we don't have a fucking decision because I don't know how I feel about it.
34:09
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
34:09
Audio Only - All Participants: You know?
34:12
Audio Only - All Participants: There's just no feeling behind it.
34:15
Audio Only - All Participants: Ugh.
34:17
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
34:19
Audio Only - All Participants: Feelings are helpful.
34:21
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, yeah When you listen and decipher them, yes.
34:27
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
34:28
Audio Only - All Participants: You start telling stories about them.
34:30
Audio Only - All Participants: Right, yeah.
34:31
Audio Only - All Participants: Fantastic stories about them, by the way.
34:33
Audio Only - All Participants: My stories, my brain's super creative.
34:36
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
34:36
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, yeah.
34:36
Audio Only - All Participants: I don't know why I ever said I wasn't creative, 'cause- Me too.
34:39
Audio Only - All Participants: this bitch can make up some fucking shit, let me tell you.
34:43
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh.
34:44
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, okay.
34:46
Audio Only - All Participants: So I, I touched on this a little bit in, in a moment when I did not do this, but we've all had moments, you've referenced them in general, like where you had a clear message but you overwrote it
35:05
Audio Only - All Participants: anyway, whether it was, like, keeping the peace or being reasonable or not making waves.
35:12
Audio Only - All Participants: You know, whatever the stupid thing was that at that moment that was more important than what you knew.
35:18
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, what did that actually cost you, and what did you learn from it?
35:25
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, I, the thing, the first thing that pops in my head is get a divorce sooner.
35:32
Audio Only - All Participants: That I should have listened to that sooner, that voice telling me, "You're not meant to be here anymore."
35:39
Audio Only - All Participants: Um- I think that, I, I think that was a big one, right?
35:45
Audio Only - All Participants: Because why did it take me so long to do it?
35:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Because I kept overthinking it.
35:49
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
35:50
Audio Only - All Participants: I kept thinking, you know, in every which way of why I shouldn't, right?
35:55
Audio Only - All Participants: Instead of what I was feeling or why I, why I was feeling the way that I was feeling.
36:00
Audio Only - All Participants: Which is why I ended up in that course, right a- right after my divorce, 'cause I knew I didn't trust myself, so I knew that was part of why I had gone for so long through that.
36:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
36:10
Audio Only - All Participants: And, and didn't trust myself.
36:12
Audio Only - All Participants: And I don't regret it.
36:15
Audio Only - All Participants: You know?
36:15
Audio Only - All Participants: I don't regret it 'cause I learned a lot from that, so how can I regret something that I learned so much from, right?
36:23
Audio Only - All Participants: So Yeah.
36:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, but I would say that not listening to it sooner.
36:30
Audio Only - All Participants: Instead, pushing more, try- trying to bend myself in every which way to, to please, right?
36:37
Audio Only - All Participants: To, to keep harmony, you know?
36:41
Audio Only - All Participants: Be somebody you're not.
36:42
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, exactly.
36:43
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
36:44
Audio Only - All Participants: Trying to make myself fit into something that it just wasn't for me.
36:50
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
36:51
Audio Only - All Participants: Sorry.
36:51
Audio Only - All Participants: That gave me such a visceral reaction.
36:54
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, hearing you say that out loud was like, ugh.
36:58
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
36:59
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, ugh.
37:00
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
37:01
Audio Only - All Participants: Exactly.
37:02
Audio Only - All Participants: 'Cause I feel that.
37:03
Audio Only - All Participants: There's nothing worse.
37:04
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
37:04
Audio Only - All Participants: I feel that.
37:05
Audio Only - All Participants: Nothing worse Yeah.
37:10
Audio Only - All Participants: I think that I've been so much better at listening to my intuition for a long time that I'm having a hard time thinking of, like, really specific examples when I overrode my gut.
37:25
Audio Only - All Participants: But I do remember, like, a general theme growing up, which I think is another thing that maybe traces back to silencing my intuition, because I remember, like, this general theme of, like, kind of looking around and being like,
37:48
Audio Only - All Participants: "This isn't right, right?"
37:49
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, "Is a grown-up gonna fucking do something about this?
37:53
Audio Only - All Participants: I can't be the only one that sees-" that something's not right."
37:58
Audio Only - All Participants: Do you know what I mean?
37:59
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
37:59
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, that general vibe- Yeah of like, "Is this normal?
38:02
Audio Only - All Participants: Are we okay with this?"
38:04
Audio Only - All Participants: Because something felt not okay, and then it was like, you know, things were normalized or things were, like, brushed under the rug or like m- And that's part of where I think the learning to, like, not trust myself
38:19
Audio Only - All Participants: came from.
38:20
Audio Only - All Participants: And so the unlearning of that has been a lot more of like, there have been so many things that, like, I knew were either for me or not for me, and I, and I didn't question them.
38:39
Audio Only - All Participants: Like you, you said, Adriana, like, get a divorce sooner.
38:45
Audio Only - All Participants: I, like- From the moment that that voice spoke up for me to the time I had moved out was less than six months.
39:00
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I, like that for me was the strongest, like, when you know, you know kind of thing.
39:08
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
39:08
Audio Only - All Participants: And I was like, "There's no...
39:11
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I can't s- I can't, like, justify staying here because I've never known something as deeply as I know this.
39:23
Audio Only - All Participants: Do you know what I mean?
39:23
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
39:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
39:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, and I've talked about that before because it wasn't that I was in a bad situation at all, right?
39:30
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, nothing like that.
39:31
Audio Only - All Participants: Right, yeah.
39:31
Audio Only - All Participants: It just was like, I know this isn't for me.
39:34
Audio Only - All Participants: Um...
39:36
Audio Only - All Participants: Well, you listened to your intuition- Right the second you heard it.
39:39
Audio Only - All Participants: But- Yeah c- but we've also talked about how I moved in silence.
39:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
39:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Th- like, less than five people knew what was happening while it was happening, because I knew that if I said something, and my only justification for it was, "I just know," that people would've had a lot of feelings
40:04
Audio Only - All Participants: about it, and I would've had- Yeah to justify it- They don't understand that or explain it, or they would've made me second-guess myself.
40:10
Audio Only - All Participants: And so I just moved in silence until it was done, and then I was like, "Hey, this happened."
40:15
Audio Only - All Participants: And still everyone was like, "What?
40:17
Audio Only - All Participants: Why?"
40:18
Audio Only - All Participants: And I was like, "Just 'cause."
40:21
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, and I, and I didn't...
40:23
Audio Only - All Participants: I, there's still a lot of people that I've never explained it to, right?
40:26
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
40:26
Audio Only - All Participants: That, that just had to sort of, like, figure out how to accept it because there's nothing I could say that would justify it in their eyes.
40:38
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
40:38
Audio Only - All Participants: But I still know to this day, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that that was the right thing, right?
40:44
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
40:44
Audio Only - All Participants: So...
40:45
Audio Only - All Participants: And, and I also think of things that o- on the outside to some people look impulsive, right?
40:50
Audio Only - All Participants: Like signing up for a coaching course After one 30-minute phone call and be like, "Oh yeah, how much money do you want?
41:02
Audio Only - All Participants: Take it all."
41:03
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, let me get my credit card.
41:06
Audio Only - All Participants: But like, I literally think I s- like I saw the thing on Instagram, I filled out the- Yeah little form.
41:12
Audio Only - All Participants: I was on a phone call the next day, and then I signed up.
41:16
Audio Only - All Participants: Like- Yeah as, like, it's like, it was like the moment I saw it, I was like, "Oh, that's for me."
41:21
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
41:22
Audio Only - All Participants: And I can't explain, like, I can't explain things like that, but I know- Yeah that Getting to that point where I allowed it to, where I, like, allow it to be that loud, right?
41:36
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, where I actually listen when I, when I get that thing is, it took a long time to get there because of all the other stuff where I used to have to override it because things were normalized or
41:50
Audio Only - All Participants: I was sort of dismissed or my, my, like, feeling, my sense was invalidated somewhere along the way.
41:58
Audio Only - All Participants: So it took a lot of unlearning, and it's still not perfect by any stretch.
42:03
Audio Only - All Participants: I know.
42:03
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, there's still some times- It's such a practice where I'm like, "Oh, shit."
42:09
Audio Only - All Participants: So.
42:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, it's definitely a practice.
42:12
Audio Only - All Participants: And, you know, it's funny when you were saying that about the coaching course, that's how I felt when I went to that intuition course.
42:18
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
42:19
Audio Only - All Participants: Okay, what happened?
42:19
Audio Only - All Participants: Why are we laughing?
42:20
Audio Only - All Participants: What'd I miss?
42:21
Audio Only - All Participants: I know, I'm like, "What, what's so-" Just- fucking funny?"
42:23
Audio Only - All Participants: keep going.
42:24
Audio Only - All Participants: I'll come back to it.
42:25
Audio Only - All Participants: Sorry.
42:25
Audio Only - All Participants: Okay.
42:26
Audio Only - All Participants: I, we'll come back.
42:29
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, I felt the same way even though I didn't know why.
42:33
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I didn't, I, like, I just, I knew I had to be in that course even though it, I wasn't seeking out psychic mediumship, but even after I found out I was like, okay, I'm like, this is not
42:43
Audio Only - All Participants: what I came here for, but I knew I was meant to be there.
42:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
42:47
Audio Only - All Participants: And I stayed- Yeah for two and a half years.
42:49
Audio Only - All Participants: So, um- Wow.
42:51
Audio Only - All Participants: Love it y- so one thing that I was gonna say, c- Erica, is you were just saying about you just know, right?
42:58
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, about the divorce and how unacceptable that is, right?
43:02
Audio Only - All Participants: To say, "I just know that we're just not meant to be together," yet when someone says after a week of knowing someone that, "I'm gonna marry them and I just know," that's acceptable.
43:14
Audio Only - All Participants: That's fucking acceptable.
43:16
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, go, go for it.
43:17
Audio Only - All Participants: That's great.
43:19
Audio Only - All Participants: What the fuck?
43:20
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, that's what I'm saying, like, we just give- Best wishes people so much more mistrust.
43:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Bullshit.
43:25
Audio Only - All Participants: Do you know how many times I've said that this week?
43:27
Audio Only - All Participants: It's insane.
43:29
Audio Only - All Participants: It's so silly.
43:30
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I'm not saying that it, that that might not have been the case for some few people, but- Mm-hmm way more people say it than it's true.
43:39
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
43:40
Audio Only - All Participants: You know?
43:40
Audio Only - All Participants: 100%, yeah.
43:42
Audio Only - All Participants: I feel like the opposite is actually truer, that you just know that that person is no longer for you than you just know that you're meant to spend the rest of your life with that person.
43:51
Audio Only - All Participants: Way more true.
43:51
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
43:52
Audio Only - All Participants: I have evidence.
43:53
Audio Only - All Participants: I have rooms full of evidence.
43:56
Audio Only - All Participants: Do you want me to go through all this shit?
44:00
Audio Only - All Participants: No.
44:01
Audio Only - All Participants: Exactly.
44:02
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, yeah.
44:04
Audio Only - All Participants: Ah.
44:05
Audio Only - All Participants: So crazy.
44:06
Audio Only - All Participants: But a- Anyway I'm super curious now, Adriana.
44:09
Audio Only - All Participants: What?
44:09
Audio Only - All Participants: How long did it take you to join the course between when you heard about it and when you- Oh, it was immediate.
44:17
Audio Only - All Participants: Okay.
44:18
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
44:18
Audio Only - All Participants: Like- I love that for us, like the universe being like- Do the thing now.
44:25
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah Immediately.
44:26
Audio Only - All Participants: Right now.
44:27
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
44:28
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
44:28
Audio Only - All Participants: I just knew, I just, it just, it's...
44:30
Audio Only - All Participants: Again, I, I have always been very, very intuitive.
44:34
Audio Only - All Participants: I just didn't real- re- didn't really realize that about myself, right?
44:38
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, but looking back now, I see how I have done things, and it was my intuition guiding me.
44:45
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
44:45
Audio Only - All Participants: At the time, I didn't know.
44:46
Audio Only - All Participants: I mean, when I said, oh, I, I, I was like, "Oh, I should take that course because I know I don't trust myself," but not realizing that I was actually led there, and that when I picked it- Mm-hmm
44:56
Audio Only - All Participants: I didn't know.
44:56
Audio Only - All Participants: It wasn't until I got there that I was like, "Oh, shit."
45:00
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
45:01
Audio Only - All Participants: "I don't know how to do this, but I think I'm supposed to be here.
45:05
Audio Only - All Participants: I feel like I'm supposed to be here," and so I stayed.
45:08
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
45:09
Audio Only - All Participants: But I was like, "Yeah, I'm, I'm gonna take that course.
45:11
Audio Only - All Participants: That's for me."
45:12
Audio Only - All Participants: So what I realized when you were saying that, Erica, why I started laughing, like- Because this, this is what I do.
45:23
Audio Only - All Participants: When I know something, I then ask people to prove me wrong.
45:29
Audio Only - All Participants: Okay.
45:30
Audio Only - All Participants: And I still do that.
45:32
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm doing it right now With a decision.
45:37
Audio Only - All Participants: I am literally polling people.
45:38
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm like, "Tell me why I shouldn't do this thing that I think I'm supposed to do."
45:46
Audio Only - All Participants: So yeah, still real time struggle.
45:48
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, literally I've asked, like, 10 people already.
45:51
Audio Only - All Participants: So That's interesting.
45:56
Audio Only - All Participants: Let me check with one more.
45:58
Audio Only - All Participants: That's interesting because- If I think about times in my life when I've done that I might ask someone because I, like, I, I feel something happening on, on that, right?
46:20
Audio Only - All Participants: Because it's like sometimes the people I ask are people who will agree with me, and then other times the people I ask are people who will disagree with me.
46:32
Audio Only - All Participants: But on some level, isn't that, like, my intuition being like, "Hey, maybe not, so don't ask the people who disagree with you.
46:40
Audio Only - All Participants: Ask the people who disagree."
46:42
Audio Only - All Participants: Like- Right it...
46:44
Audio Only - All Participants: Isn't there something still happening on some level, right?
46:49
Audio Only - All Participants: That's like who I poll is also guided by my intuition because my intuition already knows.
47:00
Audio Only - All Participants: Do you know what I'm saying?
47:01
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
47:02
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm, I'm sitting here thinking about it.
47:03
Audio Only - All Participants: So is it, like, the people that would tell you no because they don't understand, so them telling you no is your yes?
47:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Does that make sense?
47:11
Audio Only - All Participants: It's...
47:11
Audio Only - All Participants: No, no, no.
47:12
Audio Only - All Participants: Okay.
47:12
Audio Only - All Participants: It's like the people who are gonna tell me no, if I...
47:16
Audio Only - All Participants: If, like, deep down my intuition is like, "Maybe not.
47:20
Audio Only - All Participants: Maybe not this," right?
47:22
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm gonna ask- Okay people who I know will, will tell me no.
47:26
Audio Only - All Participants: Got it.
47:27
Audio Only - All Participants: And then say like- The right people to ask "Oh, well, they..."
47:29
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I'll externalize it.
47:31
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, the, "Well, they told me no, so I decided it was a bad idea," right?
47:35
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
47:35
Audio Only - All Participants: Except that I had already decided before I even asked because who I asked- Right was like I knew how it was gonna go.
47:43
Audio Only - All Participants: Do you know what I mean?
47:44
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
47:44
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
47:45
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, you have certain people for certain things.
47:50
Audio Only - All Participants: I, I do.
47:52
Audio Only - All Participants: And that's why I feel like this is...
47:54
Audio Only - All Participants: 'Cause, like, with the coaching school for me, I also made the decision, like, within a day, and but I did talk to two people about it.
48:03
Audio Only - All Participants: And- Okay I was like, "I'm thinking about doing this thing.
48:07
Audio Only - All Participants: Do you have any serious concerns about it?"
48:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Well, one of them was my husband, 'cause it was a chunk of money, a huge chunk of money.
48:14
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
48:15
Audio Only - All Participants: And, um, the other was my mom.
48:20
Audio Only - All Participants: I was like, "Look, I, I really feel like this is something I'm supposed to do.
48:26
Audio Only - All Participants: Do you see any major-" Things that I don't see.
48:31
Audio Only - All Participants: That's what I was looking for.
48:33
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
48:33
Audio Only - All Participants: That's why I look for people to tell me I'm wrong, is because what am I not seeing?
48:37
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
48:39
Audio Only - All Participants: 'Cause when I want something, nothing is gonna fucking get in my way.
48:42
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
48:43
Audio Only - All Participants: Confirmation bias.
48:44
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm gonna look for all the reasons.
48:45
Audio Only - All Participants: Nothing.
48:46
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm gonna look for all the reasons why this is the best idea I've ever had.
48:50
Audio Only - All Participants: Exactly.
48:51
Audio Only - All Participants: So- Yeah that, with the coaching school, when you were talking about that, that's, that's what came up for me.
48:57
Audio Only - All Participants: And now me particularly picking out people, I...
49:01
Audio Only - All Participants: And I'm like, I want you to tell me all the wrong things.
49:06
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, 'cause I feel like I'm missing something.
49:09
Audio Only - All Participants: Does that make sense?
49:11
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
49:13
Audio Only - All Participants: And I'm like, I've already checked all these boxes.
49:15
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
49:16
Audio Only - All Participants: Tell me what I'm missing.
49:18
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, nobody- Yeah, but nobody ever would miss anything.
49:21
Audio Only - All Participants: You know?
49:22
Audio Only - All Participants: I know.
49:23
Audio Only - All Participants: Haven't had one yet.
49:24
Audio Only - All Participants: I don't think so.
49:25
Audio Only - All Participants: But, uh, yeah.
49:27
Audio Only - All Participants: It's interesting that I'm trying to prove myself wrong.
49:30
Audio Only - All Participants: You know, it's funny.
49:30
Audio Only - All Participants: I, mm, I didn't ask anyone when we were doing the course, the coaching course.
49:35
Audio Only - All Participants: I, however, I did ask my pendulum.
49:38
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, okay.
49:38
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm like, I need confirmation, you know?
49:41
Audio Only - All Participants: And I'm like, I don't know who to call, so let me just ask my pendulum, and my pendulum said, yes, so yes it was.
49:49
Audio Only - All Participants: I called, had the 30-minute talk, and here's my credit card.
49:53
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, right.
49:55
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, no.
49:55
Audio Only - All Participants: Literally.
49:55
Audio Only - All Participants: I received confirmation.
49:58
Audio Only - All Participants: The confirmation has been received.
50:00
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
50:01
Audio Only - All Participants: It's the real-world stuff that I was like, don't know, I just feel like I'm missing something.
50:05
Audio Only - All Participants: But anyway.
50:06
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
50:07
Audio Only - All Participants: I can still overthink things.
50:08
Audio Only - All Participants: Yay, me.
50:10
Audio Only - All Participants: So, um, speaking of which- Oh, wow this kind of goes into one thing we kind of touched, maybe not touched on, but, like, skirted around, and there, there can be, like, some shame or blame when we don't listen
50:25
Audio Only - All Participants: to our intuition.
50:27
Audio Only - All Participants: So how do you, like- Forgive yourself O I don't know if I've ever beat myself up over not Haven't listened before I, I think I've definitely said, like, what ifs, right?
50:50
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
50:50
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, like...
50:52
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, what if I just listened to myself?
50:55
Audio Only - All Participants: What if I just trusted my gut?
50:56
Audio Only - All Participants: What if I...
50:57
Audio Only - All Participants: You know what I mean?
50:57
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
50:58
Audio Only - All Participants: I think I've done that.
50:59
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
50:59
Audio Only - All Participants: But that's about as far as it's gone.
51:02
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
51:03
Audio Only - All Participants: Because I think that no matter what, like, I just...
51:11
Audio Only - All Participants: I don't believe and I have not believed for a really long time that things happen to me.
51:16
Audio Only - All Participants: That, like- Mm even if I made that choice and I overrode- Yeah my intuition, it happened for...
51:22
Audio Only - All Participants: Whatever happened, happened for me.
51:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
51:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, and so I don't think that I, I, I don't think I necessarily beat myself up, but I think, like, the- The way that I How do I wanna say this?
51:40
Audio Only - All Participants: The way that I like honor myself- Mm is to trust myself next time.
51:45
Audio Only - All Participants: Does that- Right.
51:46
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
51:46
Audio Only - All Participants: Do you know what I mean?
51:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Absolutely.
51:48
Audio Only - All Participants: Like- Yeah it sort of, every time that I've done that and I've been like, "Damn it, I knew it," uh, it sort of- Yeah.
51:54
Audio Only - All Participants: Right strengthened my intuition and- Yes and my resolve so that next- Yeah time I'm like, "Nope, we're not doing that again.
52:01
Audio Only - All Participants: Nope, we're not doing that again."
52:02
Audio Only - All Participants: And every time it just gets a bit stronger.
52:04
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
52:05
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, which, which again was like a...
52:09
Audio Only - All Participants: That was a l- a lot over...
52:11
Audio Only - All Participants: It was a consistent effort over time.
52:16
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
52:17
Audio Only - All Participants: And learning to just, like- honor my inner voice by not allowing something else to override it again Yeah.
52:29
Audio Only - All Participants: And I...
52:31
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, I know you're, you said that you don't beat yourself up.
52:34
Audio Only - All Participants: I don't now.
52:36
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
52:36
Audio Only - All Participants: But I did used to.
52:37
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
52:38
Audio Only - All Participants: A lot.
52:39
Audio Only - All Participants: Well, I was, I'm g- I, I did not play the what if game.
52:41
Audio Only - All Participants: I played the- Right you fucking knew, and you didn't listen.
52:45
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh.
52:46
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, okay.
52:48
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, I think I did, like, the what ifs too, but for me, like, I'm not someone who lives with regrets.
52:53
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I don't regret things.
52:54
Audio Only - All Participants: I don't look back and- Yeah like regret anything because I feel, I, I've always looked at whatever situation I was in as that it was gonna get better, right?
53:05
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, whether it's with that, with the person or not a person, that something better was gonna come along, whether it's a job, a friend, you know, a relationship.
53:13
Audio Only - All Participants: Whatever, whatever, whatever it is.
53:15
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, s- whatever the situation is, it can always get better.
53:21
Audio Only - All Participants: And so I never, like, lived with regrets, but I think it's just being optimistic that helped me.
53:29
Audio Only - All Participants: And I also- Mm one of the things that I've learned also is that, and that I'm still, you know, I feel practicing, is that instead of, well, trying so hard to figure it out or that I have to
53:42
Audio Only - All Participants: get it right, I just allow myself to make the mistake.
53:45
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
53:45
Audio Only - All Participants: If I think something is my intuition, I just go with it because it's okay.
53:48
Audio Only - All Participants: If I make a mistake, it's a mistake, but it's better than holding myself back, which I've done in the past, right?
53:54
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
53:54
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I was more used to, you know, again, the overthinking, right?
53:58
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, oh, I get this- Yeah feeling and, but let me just think of it in 10 different ways and then talk myself out of it.
54:05
Audio Only - All Participants: Right?
54:06
Audio Only - All Participants: And then- Or get paralyzed by indecision and perfectionism.
54:09
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
54:09
Audio Only - All Participants: Totally.
54:10
Audio Only - All Participants: You know?
54:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
54:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Exactly.
54:11
Audio Only - All Participants: And then think I was, you know, that was my intuition telling me and I was right, and I didn't follow.
54:16
Audio Only - All Participants: So instead it's just like- Mm just fucking do it.
54:19
Audio Only - All Participants: And if you make a mistake, you make a mistake, and if y- you're gonna learn from it regardless, right?
54:23
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, it...
54:24
Audio Only - All Participants: I feel like even a m- even a mistake is not a mistake, right?
54:27
Audio Only - All Participants: 'Cause you...
54:28
Audio Only - All Participants: I mean, if you have the right mindset, you're always gonna get something from it.
54:31
Audio Only - All Participants: So I'd rather- There's no wrong answer.
54:34
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
54:35
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, I'd rather look at it that way.
54:37
Audio Only - All Participants: Life is for living.
54:37
Audio Only - All Participants: So you take the wrong path.
54:38
Audio Only - All Participants: Exactly.
54:39
Audio Only - All Participants: Even when you take the wrong path, right?
54:41
Audio Only - All Participants: It's really not.
54:41
Audio Only - All Participants: It's an adventure.
54:42
Audio Only - All Participants: But it's really not- Right 'cause you learn something there that's gonna put you on the right path.
54:46
Audio Only - All Participants: Exactly.
54:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
54:48
Audio Only - All Participants: So.
54:48
Audio Only - All Participants: We're not gonna, we're not gonna get it right 100% of the time.
54:51
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
54:51
Audio Only - All Participants: You're not meant to, otherwise you'd learn nothing.
54:53
Audio Only - All Participants: How fun is that, right?
54:54
Audio Only - All Participants: Exactly.
54:54
Audio Only - All Participants: I mean, how boring.
54:55
Audio Only - All Participants: How boring.
54:56
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
54:56
Audio Only - All Participants: Every time I get lost in my car, by the way, I'm like, "We're on an adventure."
55:00
Audio Only - All Participants: Ah.
55:01
Audio Only - All Participants: Where are we gonna end up?
55:03
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
55:03
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, fuck.
55:04
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
55:05
Audio Only - All Participants: I don't know.
55:06
Audio Only - All Participants: I guess we were supposed to drive around in a circle for some reason.
55:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Yes.
55:11
Audio Only - All Participants: That's what the GPS said to do, so that's what we're gonna do.
55:14
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
55:15
Audio Only - All Participants: I guess we'll see where we go.
55:16
Audio Only - All Participants: It's a fucking adventure.
55:17
Audio Only - All Participants: That's life.
55:20
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
55:21
Audio Only - All Participants: Like today I was, I was leaving, like, a place.
55:23
Audio Only - All Participants: And going, we're leaving from one location going to another, and all of a sudden I start driving and I'm like, "Where am I going?"
55:27
Audio Only - All Participants: Not even going in the direction where I'm supposed to be going.
55:30
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm like, "What?
55:32
Audio Only - All Participants: What?"
55:32
Audio Only - All Participants: I was like, "All right.
55:34
Audio Only - All Participants: Let's turn down here, and then let's turn here, and then we'll get back on track."
55:37
Audio Only - All Participants: I was, I was like, I, I laughed at myself, 'cause I was like, "Where do you think you're going?
55:42
Audio Only - All Participants: Where are you going right now?
55:43
Audio Only - All Participants: That's not where we're supposed to go."
55:46
Audio Only - All Participants: Hmm.
55:46
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-mm.
55:47
Audio Only - All Participants: I love it.
55:48
Audio Only - All Participants: So as long as we're learning- Yeah.
55:51
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah there's no wrong answer.
55:54
Audio Only - All Participants: There is no wrong answer.
55:55
Audio Only - All Participants: And, you know, the thing of it is, I think that we also get very attached to the, that intuition's supposed to look a certain way, or it's supposed to, like, yell at you- Yeah slap you in the face.
56:07
Audio Only - All Participants: You're supposed to hear it.
56:09
Audio Only - All Participants: The thing of it is, is that you're actually being guided by your intuition a whole lot more than you think.
56:15
Audio Only - All Participants: Even- Yeah actually, as a matter of fact, when you go through those challenging times, you're fucking led to those things.
56:23
Audio Only - All Participants: You know what I mean?
56:23
Audio Only - All Participants: We think that, oh, that intuition's just gonna lead you to everything good, and everything's supposed to be perfect if you just listen to your intuition.
56:30
Audio Only - All Participants: No, you're supposed to live.
56:31
Audio Only - All Participants: You're supposed to be- Yeah you're having a human experience, and therefore you're gonna have challenges, whatever, that you're led there by your intuition.
56:40
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
56:41
Audio Only - All Participants: The wrong path, a lot of times you're led there by your intuition, because you're meant to go through something to learn something.
56:46
Audio Only - All Participants: So I think that we need to stop thinking that it's getting life right because you're listening to your intuition.
56:54
Audio Only - All Participants: It's all unicorns and rainbows.
56:56
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, no.
56:57
Audio Only - All Participants: No.
56:58
Audio Only - All Participants: It's a messy shit pile sometimes.
57:00
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, yeah.
57:00
Audio Only - All Participants: And you gotta dig your way through it, and guess what?
57:03
Audio Only - All Participants: On the other side, now you have all of the skills that you needed for the next thing you're supposed to do.
57:07
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, and the strength and resilience to face the next thing.
57:14
Audio Only - All Participants: And I think- Sorry.
57:15
Audio Only - All Participants: Go ahead.
57:16
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm just laughing hysterically because one of my favorite things that I've taught my niece, much to my family's dismay, is that unicorns eat glitter and poop rainbows.
57:28
Audio Only - All Participants: And I...
57:29
Audio Only - All Participants: So when I ask her that, when I ask her like, "What do unicorns do?"
57:35
Audio Only - All Participants: She says, "Eat glitter and poop rainbows."
57:37
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, that's great.
57:38
Audio Only - All Participants: I love it.
57:41
Audio Only - All Participants: So cute.
57:42
Audio Only - All Participants: There you go.
57:42
Audio Only - All Participants: It makes me laugh.
57:43
Audio Only - All Participants: Rainbows are poop, so.
57:45
Audio Only - All Participants: There's another random anecdote.
57:53
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, man.
57:55
Audio Only - All Participants: I was totally gonna say something profound, and now it's gone, 'cause I'm just picturing rainbow poop.
58:01
Audio Only - All Participants: Um- I mean, that was profound, wasn't it?
58:04
Audio Only - All Participants: I- Sorry.
58:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh.
58:11
Audio Only - All Participants: No, it's all good.
58:13
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, oh, I got it.
58:16
Audio Only - All Participants: Okay.
58:16
Audio Only - All Participants: So what you're learning, even with the wrong choice, wrong is in air quotes, by the way- Yeah is that you can handle whatever gets fucking thrown at you.
58:29
Audio Only - All Participants: That's trusting yourself.
58:31
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
58:32
Audio Only - All Participants: That's trust.
58:35
Audio Only - All Participants: True.
58:36
Audio Only - All Participants: Yep.
58:37
Audio Only - All Participants: 'Cause that's what it means to me now, is that it doesn't- Yeah matter if I fucking make the wrong decision.
58:43
Audio Only - All Participants: Yes.
58:43
Audio Only - All Participants: I can handle the fallout of whatever decision that I make.
58:48
Audio Only - All Participants: We're good.
58:49
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
58:49
Audio Only - All Participants: I got this shit.
58:50
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
58:50
Audio Only - All Participants: I got more skills now than I ever did when I was younger.
58:55
Audio Only - All Participants: I got this.
58:57
Audio Only - All Participants: I think your intuition's always telling you to do what's right for you.
59:01
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
59:02
Audio Only - All Participants: Do what's right for you.
59:03
Audio Only - All Participants: I was just gonna say, I think that's self-trust, and knowing myself, and honoring my needs has also...
59:13
Audio Only - All Participants: It's also what's led to me being able to, like, practice better boundaries, or honor my energy- Mm-hmm Um, to show up differently, right?
59:26
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
59:26
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I- until I learned to know and trust myself, I didn't feel confident doing those things- Mm or I'd quickly, I'd quickly, like, retreat.
59:44
Audio Only - All Participants: You know what I mean?
59:45
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
59:45
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I would be like, "Here's, um, here's, here's like, here's a boundary, maybe."
59:54
Audio Only - All Participants: But like- Right, maybe but like, it took a- but no- Never play with that never mind.
59:56
Audio Only - All Participants: Nope.
59:57
Audio Only - All Participants: You know what?
59:57
Audio Only - All Participants: Never mind.
59:58
Audio Only - All Participants: Never mind.
59:58
Audio Only - All Participants: Sorry.
59:58
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, no.
59:59
Audio Only - All Participants: Okay, yeah.
1:00:00
Audio Only - All Participants: Sorry.
1:00:01
Audio Only - All Participants: Sorry.
1:00:02
Audio Only - All Participants: Do you know what I mean?
1:00:03
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I- Yes until I felt, like, confident enough in myself and in my, like, in my values and in what I needed, I didn't, like, trust myself enough to have those conversations or set those boundaries- Yeah or hold
1:00:15
Audio Only - All Participants: those boundaries.
1:00:17
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, so I think, again, that's been, like, a journey, but it's like, when we read, when we read Untamed in book club, the thing that, the thing that stood out to me, I've, I mean, I've read that book
1:00:33
Audio Only - All Participants: like six times, but, like, the thing that stood out to me and still stands out to me is the quote that I'm gonna paraphrase, um, and probably not get exactly right, but, "I will not ever stay in any
1:00:47
Audio Only - All Participants: room or any conversation or any relationship that requires me to abandon myself ever again."
1:00:55
Audio Only - All Participants: And I, I think it took a, it took so long for me to, to get there and feel like I was actually standing on solid ground when I, when I when I thought or said those things, right?
1:01:08
Audio Only - All Participants: Like- Mm for a while, I didn't have the self-trust to do that.
1:01:14
Audio Only - All Participants: I was like, "Oh, yeah, that sounds like a great idea in theory," but, like, in reality, I'm, like, standing on quicksand.
1:01:21
Audio Only - All Participants: But it wasn't until, like, a lot of practice and a lot of, like- Mm relearning and unlearning that I felt like, okay, it's not just theory now.
1:01:29
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, I'm, I'm standing on solid ground, and I trust myself enough to figure out whatever's on the other side of this, right?
1:01:40
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
1:01:41
Audio Only - All Participants: I feel like we've said this in so many other episodes about doing the work.
1:01:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
1:01:48
Audio Only - All Participants: Right?
1:01:48
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, it's really just- Like yeah, you, you go through so many, like, ups and downs, and the reason why we say it's so worth it, 'cause it leads to all of this, right?
1:01:59
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, you, you can't trust yourself if you don't know who you are, right?
1:02:03
Audio Only - All Participants: If you don't know what your values are.
1:02:06
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
1:02:06
Audio Only - All Participants: Because how do you...
1:02:07
Audio Only - All Participants: how are, how else are you gonna make decisions, right?
1:02:09
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, how do you know that something's not right for you if you don't know who you are?
1:02:16
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
1:02:16
Audio Only - All Participants: And I can say that coming from someone who didn't know themselves for most of their lives, right?
1:02:23
Audio Only - All Participants: Same, girl.
1:02:24
Audio Only - All Participants: That I'm like, "Oh, okay," because I understand myself and know myself so much better, I can know when someone's not for me, a situation, a place, an invitation, something.
1:02:34
Audio Only - All Participants: It's so much easier to recognize that now than overthink it when you don't know who you are.
1:02:41
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm.
1:02:42
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
1:02:43
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
1:02:45
Audio Only - All Participants: So that rollercoaster ride, loops and all, so worth it Buckle up.
1:02:52
Audio Only - All Participants: Even backwards.
1:02:54
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, God.
1:02:55
Audio Only - All Participants: 'Cause it- Hell yeah.
1:02:56
Audio Only - All Participants: All the time in reverse.
1:02:57
Audio Only - All Participants: Right.
1:02:58
Audio Only - All Participants: Good.
1:02:59
Audio Only - All Participants: I'm on the backwards train right now.
1:03:00
Audio Only - All Participants: Hello.
1:03:00
Audio Only - All Participants: That's where you lose me.
1:03:01
Audio Only - All Participants: No.
1:03:02
Audio Only - All Participants: All right.
1:03:03
Audio Only - All Participants: So- I- Go ahead.
1:03:06
Audio Only - All Participants: I was gonna say, I feel like that, that's, all of that speaks to why we're, like, doing what we're doing, right?
1:03:12
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
1:03:12
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, because we've, we keep noticing these moments where we're like, "Oh, shit, this stuff actually works."
1:03:18
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
1:03:19
Audio Only - All Participants: Where we, like, notice ourselves showing up differently, and it feels good to have that, like, recognition even when we're standing in the middle of something, like, hard or uncomfortable or, or new, right?
1:03:30
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, and so that's why we're doing all this, and it's also why we're, we're kind of setting out to build this course.
1:03:41
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, we want to create a container.
1:03:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
1:03:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Because I think what was true for me, like I said, I, I mean, I've been, I've been, like, kind of actively engaged in this, I guess, like, the work for, like, well over a decade at this point, but
1:04:05
Audio Only - All Participants: there have been so many times where that had, that was like a bit lonely or isolating- Mm-hmm.
1:04:17
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm because I feel like the people around me weren't in that same space, and times where there was, like, a lot of, like, stop, start, don't follow through, because I didn't necessarily have a support network.
1:04:31
Audio Only - All Participants: I feel like, and I know we've said this about each other before, but, like, part of what I value- Mm-hmm so much in these friendships is that we're all walking through this stuff together.
1:04:41
Audio Only - All Participants: We might not be focused on the exact same things- Mm-hmm at the exact same time- Yeah but we have this support system that makes hard things feel more doable, right?
1:04:54
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
1:04:54
Audio Only - All Participants: Like, it makes the hard things- Yeah easier.
1:04:57
Audio Only - All Participants: Mm-hmm.
1:04:57
Audio Only - All Participants: And so we wanted, like, a huge part of why we built Kula was for that, so we have this community.
1:05:04
Audio Only - All Participants: But we wanna sort of take that a step further and build this, like, container where we, where we intentionally go on this, like, year-long journey of kind of reclaiming our sovereignty.
1:05:18
Audio Only - All Participants: So, we think that it's going to be called Self Leadership for Rebels.
1:05:24
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, we're, like, 98% sure.
1:05:26
Audio Only - All Participants: Uh, I like it.
1:05:28
Audio Only - All Participants: And we'll be sharing a lot more information about that, and also directing you to our website.
1:05:36
Audio Only - All Participants: But our goal here is to just kind of move beyond, like, the sort of surface level stuff.
1:05:42
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, as we like to say, we are putting on our emotional scuba gear, and we are going deep in this course.
1:05:49
Audio Only - All Participants: But just keeping this, like, really small cohort of people moving together through this work, um, and really figuring out how...
1:06:00
Audio Only - All Participants: like, what it means for us to, like, redefine our values, protect our energy, learn about ourselves, and be able to, like, kind of stand more firmly in, in this and trust our intuition.
1:06:11
Audio Only - All Participants: So, we're excited to launch our first group, and there will be a lot more to come on that.
1:06:22
Audio Only - All Participants: There you see Next, next year, yes Yeah Available next year 2027 Yeah.
1:06:29
Audio Only - All Participants: 2027.
1:06:30
Audio Only - All Participants: Which is, like, right upon us, which is crazy.
1:06:33
Audio Only - All Participants: Feels like moments away.
1:06:35
Audio Only - All Participants: It's crazy.
1:06:36
Audio Only - All Participants: Give- s- literally even to look at the calendar today and be like, "Oh, three quarters of the year is done now."
1:06:42
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
1:06:42
Audio Only - All Participants: Oh, shit.
1:06:45
Audio Only - All Participants: Tomorrow's October.
1:06:46
Audio Only - All Participants: What the fuck?
1:06:47
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
1:06:47
Audio Only - All Participants: All right.
1:06:48
Audio Only - All Participants: So thank you so much.
1:06:51
Audio Only - All Participants: This conversation was a little different than I actually thought it would be, which is amazing, 'cause I love being surprised and learning something about you, and learning something about myself in the process.
1:07:05
Audio Only - All Participants: Always fun.
1:07:06
Audio Only - All Participants: Um, just a reminder, everybody, you can get us on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and Substack.
1:07:13
Audio Only - All Participants: Please like, please subscribe, and please share your thoughts and your comments, and I would love to hear something about your journey to self-trust and intuition or any current struggles that you're having, 'cause you're not alone.
1:07:33
Audio Only - All Participants: Yep.
1:07:34
Audio Only - All Participants: Second Saturday- Exactly of every month- Yeah you can come to the Three Rebel Souls Coffee Hang- Yep in Kula.
1:07:41
Audio Only - All Participants: It's like a Saturday morning.
1:07:43
Audio Only - All Participants: Show up as you are, and- Yeah we just wanna hear your stories and talk about this shit with other people.
1:07:51
Audio Only - All Participants: Not that...
1:07:52
Audio Only - All Participants: We love talking to each other, obviously.
1:07:54
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah.
1:07:54
Audio Only - All Participants: But we do that all the time, and we really wanna talk to you- Yeah too.
1:07:59
Audio Only - All Participants: We mean it.
1:07:59
Audio Only - All Participants: Yeah, that'd be so much fun.
1:08:03
Audio Only - All Participants: So come hang out with us.
1:08:06
Audio Only - All Participants: Please.
1:08:08
Audio Only - All Participants: Thanks, everybody.
1:08:10
Audio Only - All Participants: Good night.