Latest / The Efficient Advisor: Tactical Business Advice for Financial Planners / 156: An Exercise That Will Free Up More Time and Increase Impact

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156: An Exercise That Will Free Up More Time and Increase Impact · The Efficient Advisor: Tactical Business Advice for Financial Planners

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: About 10 years ago, I conducted what I would call just like an experiment inside of my business.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: It was bizarre but a very profound experiment, and I learned so, so much, so much about what mattered, what didn't matter, where I was wasting time, what was time very well spent, what propelled my business forward, what held my business back.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: I learned about why I was saying yes to things and what was actually my underlying motivation, what caused me overwhelm and what brought me peace and what brought me calm.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: The learnings that I had in this experiment compounded when I started applying it to other areas of my life, like my personal life and as we move into the last month of 2023, which, like how is that even possible?
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: I just want to share this experiment with you before you finish up those business plans for next year, and I want to encourage you to incorporate a little of this experiment in your own business, personal life or whatever, if not the whole thing.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: So let me tell you about the year of no.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Okay, before we dive into this experiment this year of no, I want to share with you that the next round of group coaching will start in January.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: On January 9th, we are going to be running another cohort and, as you know from earlier this year we did a whole podcast series on all of the different systems to scale that exist within side of your practice, where I broke down all of the different processes that you need.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: And this group coaching program is a 10 month program where we're going to walk through some of the core processes in your business and we are going to build them from start to finish with all the templates, tools, resources, things that we can provide to you to support you in your business and we're going to be trying to provide to you to support you in that, while establishing a group of like-minded advisors that can encourage, share, grow together.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: It's just been really cool.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: This will be the fourth round that we have offered and it just gets better and better every single time.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: For more information, you can head out to the efficient visorcom and click on the coaching tab and scroll down to group coaching and you can get on the waitlist to get more information.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: We'll open this Thursday, november 30th, and spots are limited, so if you are interested, make sure you're on the waitlist.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: The waitlist will get all of the details first.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Then, once the folks on the waitlist have been notified, we'll go ahead and send out a group email to everybody and start promoting the link that you can use to sign up.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: So, if you have any interest, make sure you check that out.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: And you can also go back to the podcast episodes from earlier this year.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Those were episodes number 122, all the way through episode number 131.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: So make sure you head out to wherever it is, that you listen to podcasts and listen to those episodes on the six different levels that exist within your financial advisory practice.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: And, hey, even if you're not interested in the group coaching program, if you haven't listened to those episodes, do that, because this is one of those frameworks that I'm just giving to you guys.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: You can download the framework for free and I walk you through all of the exercises that you need to be doing inside of your business to maximize efficiency and maximize scale or leverage in each of those processes.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: So not only do we lay out the processes that you need, I get into the micro processes that exist and give you some really, really clear examples.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: So again, that's episodes number 122 through 131.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: All right, without any further ado, let's dive into this week's episode.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: So it was probably around 2014 when I just hit this wall.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: My boys were three and five.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: My business was busy.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: We were hiring new team members to support all of the growth.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: We were going to these big, fancy conferences in Italy and Australia and Greece based on my production, talking on stages all over about how I grew my business.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: While working three days a week, I was participating on advisory committees and being a voice for the field within my broker dealer.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I was letting advisors pick my brain and go to coffee.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: I was attending industry conferences.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: All the work stuff was happening in those just 24 hours a week that I was working and I just kept saying yes.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: And I don't know if it was the people pleaser in me.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I mean, come on, someone I respected asked me to be on a committee.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: So clearly I have to say yes.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Or I don't know if it was my FOMO, like what if I don't go to the conference?
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Almost out on everything.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: I am an Enneagram seven after all.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: And it was a yes here, a yes there here, yes, there, yes, everywhere, yes, yes.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: And I was exhausted, I was burned out and I couldn't figure out why.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: I enjoyed all of these things, so it didn't feel like work right.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: You know that old adage do what you love and you'll never work a day.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: You know, I don't know if I fully agree with that.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I was working and it felt like work, even though I loved all of it.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: And I remember sitting down and mapping out my calendar for the upcoming year.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: My husband and I would print out a year long calendar and just start mapping all the things out.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: We'd start with the school calendar, then we'd add in birthdays and special events, like you know weddings or anniversary parties or graduation parties.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: We'd highlight the long weekends that the kids have had off school.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: You know where we could maybe go away for the weekend, and then I would lay out all of my work commitments so you know priorities first onto the calendar, right, and then I would lay out all of the work stuff, so the trips that I had earned, any speaking gigs, any overnights for advisory groups I was part of a mastermind and I loved doing it this way so that we could, you know, see everything from a bird's eye view and you could really see like, okay, where was there a lot going on, what parts of the year where there are a little less, you know, activity, you could really kind of see how the rhythm of the year was laying out and we did this so we could really pick and preserve a few family vacations in there.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: And I loved laying it out so I could just get this macro and super micro view and, oh my gosh, you know, this year in particular I remember it just took my breath away.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: A busy calendar doesn't typically stress me out, but this was like next level and so if you know me, you know that this puppy was like highlighted with different colors.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: You know we had a color for family, we had a color for work, we had a color for extended family, we had a color for vacation, like we had all the things.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: And you know, everywhere we were looking for a family vacation, there was a concern that I just didn't have enough time to work because maybe the week before I was in Boston speaking somewhere and that didn't wake.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: You know that date didn't work because I'll have just been out of the office for that commitment and we'd look at another date for a family vacation and be like, oh gosh, well, if we're out, you know, and we would take long trips, we would take anywhere from two weeks to a month off and I would look at that and be like, oh my gosh, well, the next week that we would come back, I'm out of town for some sort of committee that I'm on, you know, and it was just like, oh my goodness, when am I actually going to work and serve my clients?
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: And I frantically started scouting the calendar and just searching for this freedom that I had worked so hard for and I just could not find it and I felt stressed and then I added it up.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I had said yes to 13 weeks of stuff.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Most of it was from my parent company, you know things that I was asked to do or things that I was asked to participate in, and it was 13 weeks of the office for things that I really, really enjoyed.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: But, like I also kind of needed to work, I needed to meet with clients, I needed time to think strategically about my business, I needed time to create new processes, to learn new stuff that would make me a better planner, to actually work on financial plans, you know analysis, to do all of my compliance, you know correspondence, training, all the stuff that was coming down on top of me, right, and I wanted to do things and I just felt like there was no room or space and I remember getting really mad, of course, only at myself.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Right, there was nobody to point the finger at except for me.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: So there was some extreme ownership of my kind of just not blanket yes.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: I never was a blanket yes person, like I was still pretty thoughtful about what I was saying yes to.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: However, I clearly wasn't being thoughtful enough.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: So the only person I could be mad at or disappointed in was me.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: So I declared the following year the year of no.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: So I didn't clean calendar and I didn't, like you know, cancel all my commitments that year.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: I just decided that, hey, this next year I am going to be in the ruthless pursuit of no.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: You've heard that saying if it's not a hell yes, then it's a no.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: So my plan was to say no even to the hell yeses, which sounds like terrible advice.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: But here's the rub my reaction was a hell yes to all of the things that I had already said yes to, and I really needed to understand why.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Why was I saying hell yes?
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Was it flattery?
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: And it was nice to be asked.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Was it the money, you know, especially for speaking gigs?
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Was it a felt sense of obligation that was underneath it?
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: You know, I was really trying to figure out what was underneath the hell yeses, and what I found out was just really surprising.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: So here's what I did.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: I said no to everything.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: No to being on boards, no to conferences.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I even said no to the big sexy trip that I earned that year to St John Islands at the Ritz Carlton on the beach for a week, I know.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: I said no to that.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: I said no to a $20,000 beach vacation that was curated and organized and planned by somebody else.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: Why Was it temporary insanity?
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: No, it was really to figure out what was important, and by saying no, I was able to think critically about each thing.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: I did this for an entire year.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: I let the FOMO and for those of you who don't know what FOMO is, it's the fear of missing out I let the FOMO of not participating just fill me up and I'd sit in it and I would analyze it and I said no.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Then, at the end of the year, I went back to my calendar to see what I actually missed and why.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I tracked all of the things that I was invited to, all of the things that, when the invites came into my email, that I was like, oh my gosh, that sounds so amazing.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: I should totally do that and all that.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: And I tracked it off and here's what I learned.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: I went back and really just looked at all of the events and was like, okay, did I miss this something by not going?
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: And if I missed something, what was it?
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: And is this event or this activity the most strategic way for me to fill that bucket?
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: So I found out things like I enjoyed going to regional events for my broker dealer and it turns out that I was going for the camaraderie that I liked the people and I wanted to talk shop and hang out and frankly, the agendas were often really weak, right, or there were just a very few actionable tactical takeaways for a long drive and an entire day and then a drive back.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: So I found out I was there to hang out with other advisors.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: So I started saying no to all the regional events during my year of no and what I learned was is that I didn't really miss them.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: In fact, I didn't even notice I wasn't going.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: There was zero FOMO.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Now there were parts that I decided to come up with a strategy.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: So things like this regional event.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: There was a piece of me that, as one of the top producers in my company.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: I did feel a sense of obligation, right, and that's just understanding what was underneath that of showing up to these events, because I understand what the optics of that are.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: If your top producers aren't coming, what that says to your middle and your you know lower new producers.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: They're like, hey, these events aren't important enough quote unquote for Libby to show up.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: And so I understood that there was some sort of felt sense of obligation.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: Now you're probably listening to it going no girl, you don't have to feel obligated for anything.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: So what I did, instead of just feeling obligation and showing up because of that, is I took matters into my own hands and said these, still, I want to show up, I want to do that.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: I don't have to show up to every event, but the ones that I'm going to show up to need to be really good.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: So I did start emailing in advance for the agendas.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: When the invitations came out, I started asking what's the agenda?
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: What are the actionable takeaways?
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: What will I gain by giving up an entire day doing the drive, sitting there for eight hours and driving back?
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: And I really pushed our management to be more intentional about the agenda.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: So the outcome was really really good.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: The outcome was that we had impactful meetings where I learned something and I got to rub elbows with my buddies and talk shop and all of the stuff that I had found out that I had missed.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: So when our company would roll out, hey, here's all the regional meetings for the year.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: I'd go ahead and put them on the calendar and then I'd start pushing a couple months in advance about what the agenda would look like.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: And worst case scenario if they sent it in and I was like, hey, it doesn't look very great.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Or gosh, I don't really know that there's enough takeaways that make sense for me to go.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: You know, I could also send someone on my team.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: That's another option, right?
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: If I thought, hey, maybe there's something that would be helpful for my director of operations to learn, or something like that, you could do that.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Or, worst case scenario I didn't go and I had a buffer day built into my calendar then.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: So not just saying no, right, for the sake of saying no, but really for the sake of understanding, to figure out what is your motivation, what are you missing?
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: What's underneath it?
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: What are you really gaining from that experience?
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: Is it something that just feels good?
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Is it something, and there's nothing wrong with things that feel good is, but is it something that just feels good or is it something that's actually going to move the needle in your business and there's nothing wrong with you know, like I said, nothing wrong with something that feels good.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: But there are other things that I can do that feel really, really good and don't require an entire day out of my business.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Okay, so another example was the rewards trip.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: So I, you know, was super fortunate in my business, super blessed to be a top producer, to earn these amazing trips, and so the year we said no to the fancy pants St John trip, you know, my husband and I had tried doing a trip on our own and it just wasn't the same.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: I missed being around those other top performers, I missed having somebody else do all of the planning and coming up with places and experiences that I wouldn't traditionally have planned on my own.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: And I really liked the people.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I really enjoyed the atmosphere.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: I really really enjoyed being around other big thinkers and doing, you know, fun, relaxing, vacation type activities while interacting with other top performers and gaining insights into their businesses and talking shop and all the things.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: So that went back on the yes list.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: And did I have FOMO?
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: Of course I did, while everybody's posting their pictures, like you know, their beach boys, fanning them with you know fit, with all the things, and like spraying them with Evian mist.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, come on, it was tough to watch and at the same time it allowed me just to reflect on, like well, what am I missing?
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Is it being misted with Evian spray on the beach?
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Like, is that the part that I'm missing?
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Or what about the event that I is it that I'm missing?
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: Because I could pick my own location on my own time, on the dates that I want to go, at the price point I want to spend, and I can get misted with Evian.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: So what about?
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: It was really important to me about the event, right, and so it's just taking the time to understand what is it that I actually missed about that event and does it make it back onto the list for next year?
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: And it did Okay.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Another example is I was on an advisor board for my broker dealer and I did a bunch of analysis and kind of realized like, hey, here's all of the stuff that the field advisors that were represented on this board, here's all of the stuff that we started recommending and I realized we really didn't implement much of what we came up with right, and it was so frustrating.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: It was such a frustration for me, you know.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: I realized, you know, good or bad, I realized that kind of what my interpretation of the advisor board was is that we were a ceremonious thing that our company could say, like, oh look, we had Libby and Don and Eric and Jack, and all of these people approved these things.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Like, we have this advisory board and I would get emails all the time from people like, hey, there's what we want.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Hey, we don't like this.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: Hey, I know, our comp is too confusing, you know.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: And I realized that while this board was, at face value, sounded super cool, that it wasn't actually making the impact that I was hoping for, like if I was going to be donating my time and energy to lead from the field, that it better be making bigger waves than it was.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: And so I realized there were many other ways that I could be a leader within this organization without being on this board.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: That had monthly meetings and emails and videos to watch and getting emails from advisors and kind of getting a you know, an earful when I was attending conferences, and so I realized for me I could have more impact by doing something else, and of course, I made that very clear when I did not volunteer to serve on that board the following year, despite being kind of asked and begged and pleaded.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: I give them the very honest feedback of hey, we're asking all of these top producing advisors for their time and the actual results are very, very low, right, very, very low.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: And basically what I did was just ruthlessly go through all of the things that I missed, and the way that I did this was one reflecting back on all of the events that I had been asked to go on and kind of just attacking each one of those and really understanding what about it?
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: Was it that I missed?
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: Is there another way for me to fulfill that need?
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: You know, was it just FOMO?
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: Was it social?
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: Did I learn something?
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: Is there a way that I could turn that into an event that would be impactful?
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: By being proactive and as the next year rolled up, what I did is, every time it invocation invitation came in for something, I would ask myself did I miss it last year?
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: If I did, why?
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Is there another way I could achieve the same thing, but have more impact or more results, okay.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: So another thing that I realized that I really really missed for myself was my own personal coaching, having a business coach.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, did I miss this?
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: I missed the accountability, I missed the major improvements in my business that I made by working with a business coach.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: I missed the incremental changes that I made in my business by working with a business coach.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: You know, all Olympians have a coach.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Like literally the best athletes in the world at their sport have a coach.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Every athlete has a coach and multiple trainers.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Like it was insane for me to think like, okay, I don't need that or that can't add an insane amount of value to my life.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: So I went back to coaching.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: Same thing study group and mastermind.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: This was a yes and no.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: I loved my study group, I love the women that I was working with, but I realized like, okay, it needs a little bit more structure, we have to have a little bit more of an agenda coming into it with some ideas, goals.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: We needed to show up prepared with things we could be really, really effective with our time, or I just needed to decide do I call it a girls weekend and just enjoy the social aspect.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: So is there a way we could get both?
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: So my study group and I, we put together a little bit more formal of an agenda for our get togethers.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: We still did all the fun stuff.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: We still competed in triathlons together, we still did physical activity together, we still went shopping, we still had lots and lots and lots of wine.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: And we had a tight business agenda too for the weekend, where we showed up prepared.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: We had to do things in advance, we had to come with specific ideas, we had to analyze other stuff for you know, other girls in the group, lots of different ways that you can do it.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: And so I just had to decide in my own head, like again, can I make this more impactful or do I have to shift?
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: You know my framing of it and how I think about it in my mind Do I call it a study group mastermind and think of it as a business activity, or do I just call it a girls weekend and think of it as fun?
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: And it turns out we thrived on our agenda.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: It was so fun, we had a great time and we were all able to really push each other inside of our businesses.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: So the outcome was so powerful.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: Right, I whittled down 13 weeks of yeses.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, it was crazy when I added it up and I was like, oh my gosh, I said yes to 13 weeks worth of stuff, and I was able to whittle that 13 weeks of yeses down to only the most important yeses, and I redefined what a hell yes actually meant, and then I even started to apply this to my personal life, so I'll give you kind of a quick example.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: I had asked my kids you know, when I attend school right, do you care?
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Like what is it that you like when?
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: When mom you know there were three and five when mommy's there, what do you like me doing?
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: So I realized, like I was going to school and volunteering on Wednesdays, on my day off, to do hall math with the kids, and while it was great, and I got there and my kids were always so excited to see me I sat in the hallway for a couple of hours doing math with all of the kids and really only getting to spend, you know, five to 10 minutes with my own child.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: Right, and I loved it.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: I was volunteering, I don't mind helping, and what I realized, though, is asking my kids, like I realized, like man, hall math is not bringing me a lot of joy.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: I do a lot of math the rest of the week.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not really, um, you know, loving this experience.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: I'd rather be spending the time with my actual child.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: And so I asked the kids like hey, what do you, what do you like about having mommy there?
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: Like, what do you want me to do with you at school?
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Do you like when I volunteer for hall math?
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Do you like when I come to parties?
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Do you like what?
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: And it turns out, by just asking them what they wanted from me, I got so much more clear direction.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: They wanted me there when they could actually hang out with me and interact with me at school and show me things and do things together and create more memories together.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: So things like parties.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: They wanted me to be the party mom.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: They wanted me to come and sit with them at lunch.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: And that was super fun because if you've ever had lunch in a cafeteria with like a bunch of first graders, you will understand why, when they come home, that their lunch boxes still have all the food in them.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: So I saw not only did I get to spend time with my child, but I got to solve a mystery for me and a lot of my girlfriends of what on earth are our children doing at lunchtime?
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: That they don't have enough time to eat their food.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: So I got to understand why his lunchbox was full too.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: I also realized things like bringing in breakfast for the teachers, that kind of stuff.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: It didn't bring me joy.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: I did it.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: I love volunteering, I love helping out.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: But adding an extra donut run to my day and having to swing by the school and do this and that before work and, oh my gosh, and I still have to do all this.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: It was just, it was a lot.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: So during that season I was happy to just give my money to my neighbor and it worked with my goal of making the teachers feel loved on.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: I just didn't need to be the one to go do the thing.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: What I realized that mattered to me is I wanted the teachers to feel important and I wanted them to get donuts and I wanted them to feel loved on.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: But I didn't have the need for them to know that I was the one doing it.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: I realized for me that I didn't get joy from it.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: I wanted them to have the end result that they were getting for it and honestly I could just give cash to somebody else like a stay-at-home mom or somebody who really enjoyed being the mom that handed out the donuts and getting kind of the face time.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: You know great.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: So I think a big piece of it is really taking the time to understand your motivation and what you are getting out of the experience and why you are compelled to say yes.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: So my encouragement is this try a year of no, or at least some sort of modified version.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it can just be a no for a season two.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: So I just want to add that in, especially for parents of young kids.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: Like when you say, notice something like being the donut breakfast mom, it doesn't mean that you're no donut breakfast mom forever.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: It means that maybe that just the next couple of years your focus is somewhere else and then maybe at some point you reassess and you're like you know what would bring me more joy than anything is to get up an extra half hour early and go to Duncan and get me some donuts and take him to school and chat with the teacher, like if that's your jam and that's what makes you happy, do that thing, but do not feel like you are having to act out of obligation.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Obligation is a joy sucker.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: It is a time sucker and you might be shocked if you push yourself to really think about it.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: There might be other ways to accomplish the end goal or the desired outcome that you have by altering the way that you think or feel about the activity.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: So the donut example is a perfect one.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: The outcome that I wanted was the teachers to be happy and get donuts, but I didn't have to be the one putting in that extra 30, 45 minutes in the morning and getting up early and maybe missing my workout or whatever and I know that sounds incredibly selfish.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: But the outcome for me was I wanted to be able to have a calm morning and set myself up for a really solid work day.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I wanted to get my workout in.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: I also wanted the teachers to get donuts.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: I just didn't have to be the person to do both.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: I know I'm like really really like beating this donut dead horse thing here, but you know what I mean.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: So the encouragement is is that it can just be for a season.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: It doesn't mean, no, forever.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: These opportunities won't dry up right.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: There will always be more opportunities for you to volunteer.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: There will always be more opportunities for you to serve on a committee or to be asked to be on an advisory board.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: I used to worry and I realized this in that year of no that if I said no to something, that they would never ask me again, like ever.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Like if I said no, they, like the broker dealer, would fall out of love with me and they'd never asked me to participate in anything ever again.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Like I had to say yes in order to be relevant.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: And let me tell you what I said no like five million times and they kept on asking.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: So that was just a pure head trash situation.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: So what you gain could potentially be like me, like nine weeks back of my life after I hacked all the way at all of the non-essentials.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: It is worth the experiment.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: So I encourage you to have that ruthless pursuit of less and a ruthless pursuit of more impactful.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: And I did a post on LinkedIn about a quote by Bruce Lee that's about hacking away at the non-essentials, and someone commented on it that it's not always about what's dripping out the bottom of our cup or even what's in our cup, but what we need to be careful about, he said, is this quote is about what's even going into the top of the cup in the first place.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: And I was like, yes, oh my gosh, I loved it.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: And I'll tell you what.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: If you think about it, when you overdo it, the only person that pays the price for that is usually you or the people you love most, right?
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: So, like, when I would overcommit myself, I would not get as much sleep.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: Right, I would skip sleep, I would skip workouts, I would miss out on girls nights, I would say no to going to the baby shower on my Saturday morning because I had to do blah, blah, blah.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: Like I would say no to so many things and the only person I was really saying no to was myself and the people closest to me.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: So one thing I have really learned is that financial advisors are terrible at math.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: We add, add, add, add, add, without consideration of what we will be taking away to make it happen.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: I ask my clients you know, every time an advisor says yes to something new, I'll say okay, what are you subtracting in order to make that happen?
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: And often the answer is like oh well, I mean, I'm just gonna squeeze it in.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: I know I'm wasting time in my day, so, like I'll make the time for it, blah, blah, blah blah.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: But you are subtracting something in order to make that happen and, realistically, are you cutting the thing that was the time suck?
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: Are you cutting the thing that was a time waster?
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: So my question to them always is okay, well, how are you going to ensure that you're not going to waste your time on that?
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: Are you redoing your model week?
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: Are you putting app limits on your social media?
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: Like, what are you doing in order to make sure that, if you're committing to something like PTA, that's three hours a month?
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: Okay, great.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: Like where is that three hours a month coming from?
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: Or who is it coming from?
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: And if you're satisfied with that answer, then great, do it.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: But we can't just say yes to things without ruthlessly analyzing it and understanding what are we giving up in order to make this thing happen.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: So, as you approach your year end you know business planning I would love you to ask yourself a couple of the following questions.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Number one what would be the worst case scenario if I said no to x, y and z?
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: So pick three kind of maybe debatable activities, or three activities that are on your calendar and ask yourself the question what would be the worst case scenario if I said no to these events?
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: The next question would be when I say yes to something, what am I going to be willing to give up for that?
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: So, when I say yes to an act, I mean and I would literally write this down, because sometimes when you see it on paper it's a lot more meaningful than when you just think about it as a fleeting thought for two seconds but what are you actually going to give up and walk away from in order to be able to make that thing happen?
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: So if you're saying yes to the PTA and it's three hours a month, what are you giving up in order to make that happen and are you satisfied with that?
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: So if you're like, hey, I'm going to give up Netflix and I'm satisfied with that, great.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: If you're like, hey, I'm going to give up date night with my spouse, you might want to just, you know, double check your intentions and motives and make sure your spouse might be okay with that.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: And then the third question is is when I say no to something, what does that do for me or my family?
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: So, when you say no to a conference or a speaking gig or a mastermind weekend.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: What does it do for you and your family and that's a positive impact or a negative impact.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Does it take away income from your family?
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: Does it take away time from your family?
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: Does it give you an extra weekend that you could maybe do fun activities together?
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: Does it buy back your or give back you know, a weeknight where you can make a healthy dinner on a night that your kids have no sports or activities and you could all sit around the table.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: So, like analyzing, like the pros and cons, right.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: So when I say no to something, what does that do for me or my family?
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: And I'm not saying you know, look at your calendar for 2024 and back out on all of your commitments.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: But what can you clear from your calendar without being a jerk with plenty of notice or plenty of time?
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: What do you have penciled in that you can really analyze your motive for attendance and take the time and really do that analysis and ask yourself all of these questions how can you ruthlessly pursue less stuff and more impact in 2024?
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: So I hope this episode was helpful.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: You know it sounds it sounds pretty terrible saying I did a year of no and I said no to everything and no, no, no.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: I sound like a curmudgeon and I want to be clear that it's not a curmudgeon type thing.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: You're not saying no just for the sake of saying no.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: You're saying no so that you can show up really intentionally at the things that you do say yes to and you can really understand your hell, yes.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: What's underneath it, why are you doing it and take the time to actually determine?
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: Can I get what I'm wanting from that in a different way?
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: Is there a better way?
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: Is there an easier way?
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: Is there a less time consuming way?
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Is there a cheaper way?
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: All of these things that we're saying yes to, can we accomplish them in a slightly different way?
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: Or, like in the example of the regional meetings, is there something that we can do, some action we can take or some effort on our end that would allow us to maybe alter the outcome of the event or impact the results and make them more in alignment with what we want and need for our time spent?
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: So, anyways, I hope you guys found this helpful and I would encourage you to ask yourself those three questions and to ruthlessly pursue less and more impact in 2024.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: Hope you guys have an amazing rest of your week and before I turn on that catchy little tune that happens at the end of every podcast, I want to remind you again, if you are interested in the group coaching program and mastermind, if you are in a ruthless pursuit of more impact, this would be one of those things that oh, my goodness gracious, all of that stuff that's been sitting on your to-do list for the last several years.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: If you want to move that to the done and implemented list, I'd love for you to check it out and get more information and consider signing up Again.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: The cart opens for limited spots on November 30th to individuals on the waitlist and then the actual group will kick off on January 9th.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: It's a Tuesday and we will meet every Tuesday.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: There will be some sort of content for you to take in, whether it's pre-recorded, live, and then we will have some opportunity to interact with other advisors in the mastermind portion.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: It's just a really great thing, and you can get more details over at theefficientadvisorcom and check out the coaching tab.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much and I hope you guys have an amazing rest of your week.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: And now you can listen to that fun little music.