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MONEY DIARIES: Slaying After Starting Over! · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
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Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
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Speaker 2: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another
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Speaker 2: one of our money diaries where we get to talk
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Speaker 2: with one of our incredible She's on the Money community
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Speaker 2: members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it,
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Speaker 2: because this week I got a message and it sounded
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Speaker 2: exactly like this. Hi, She's on the Money. At age
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Speaker 2: twenty nine, I had to start my life over after
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Speaker 2: a broken marriage. I began my life again and learned
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Speaker 2: to be independent. Almost ten years later, I'm happily remarried,
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Speaker 2: have a high paying job after switching careers, and I
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Speaker 2: own three properties. My life is better than I had hoped,
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Speaker 2: and I'm more fulfilled as a woman holding onto my
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Speaker 2: independence but finally having it all. Life has been full
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Speaker 2: of up and downs with twelve unsuccessful rounds of IVF,
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Speaker 2: but finally we are on the road to adoption. Oh,
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Speaker 2: money Darist, I have so many questions. Thank you for
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Speaker 2: joining me.
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Speaker 4: Oh, very welcome, Thank you, Victoria.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, let's dive straight in. I want to
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Speaker 2: know if I asked you to grade your money habits
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Speaker 2: from A through to F, what would they be B
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Speaker 2: A B. I want to learn way more about that
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Speaker 2: with this episode. But next is my favorite question. It
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Speaker 2: is absolutely no secret that that is the case, because
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Speaker 2: I feel like I say that every time Money Darist.
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Speaker 2: I want to know, can you tell me a little
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Speaker 2: bit more about your money story?
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Speaker 4: Absolutely so. My money story started at a very young age.
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Speaker 5: My dad particularly was a child of six sisters, so
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Speaker 5: he was raised in a family that had a very
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Speaker 5: low income of struggling parents. So it was very very
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Speaker 5: important to him that he raised me and my sister
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Speaker 5: to have an understanding of money from a very young age.
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Speaker 5: So through high school, I worked as mean jobs as
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Speaker 5: I could, working you know, at the local supermarket or babysitting,
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Speaker 5: whatever I could do to put money in the pocket.
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Speaker 5: My parents said, you know, you don't have to pay
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Speaker 5: rent to live here, but you need to prove income
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Speaker 5: and savings in order to be able to provide for
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Speaker 5: yourself and your future.
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Speaker 1: Oh.
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Speaker 2: I love this, You've got to prove it.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, absolutely, So by the time I was eighteen, I
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Speaker 5: had two thousand dollars in my bank account and I
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Speaker 5: was like, I really want to buy a.
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Speaker 4: Car, and my Dad's like, you've done so well.
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Speaker 5: He gave me the rest of the money towards the
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Speaker 5: Red Joe and the insurance to be able to buy.
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Speaker 4: My first car.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, and it was really important to both him and
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Speaker 5: myself that, you know, I was to do that independently.
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Speaker 4: So my money story started really young.
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Speaker 5: Was really great role models within my parents, particularly my dad,
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Speaker 5: with money. So by the age of twenty two, I
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Speaker 5: was able to buy my first home with my ex husband.
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Speaker 2: Oh my god, twenty two, you're a baby married and
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Speaker 2: with a house, Like my gosh.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 5: Absolutely needed a lot of work, but we just didn't
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Speaker 5: mind getting our hands into it. We wanted it to
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Speaker 5: be our first step. And by the time we did divorce,
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Speaker 5: which was unfortunate, we actually made around one hundred and
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Speaker 5: fifty thousand, so we were with down yeah, seventy grand each.
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Speaker 5: So it did set me up after the separation at
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Speaker 5: the age twenty.
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Speaker 2: Nine, Oh my gosh.
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Speaker 4: Yes, and I was struggling.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, my god, you would have been.
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Speaker 4: I had a four hundred thousand dollars mortgage.
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Speaker 5: I got renters in to help assist, but I just
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Speaker 5: really looked into and pulled deep into my heart and
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Speaker 5: realized that I just needed to earn more money and
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Speaker 5: I was capable.
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Speaker 2: One hundred percent. And it sounds like you were working
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Speaker 2: with those massive hours. It wouldn't have just been like
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Speaker 2: hard financially, it would have been just like hard mentally.
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Speaker 2: You would have been exhausted all the time, and then
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Speaker 2: feeling like you're not getting ahead. You'd just be like, ah,
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Speaker 2: what am I doing?
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Speaker 5: And I guess when a relationship ends, especially at that
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Speaker 5: age of twenty nine, I felt so lost. I'm like,
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Speaker 5: I don't have children, I'm no longer married, I don't
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Speaker 5: have my home, I don't have my dogs, my life
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Speaker 5: is no longer. I lost my way and it was
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Speaker 5: that perfect time, that turmoil in that to actually stir
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Speaker 5: me up and find myself and find my independence as
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Speaker 5: well as a career. I suppose it gave me more
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Speaker 5: satisfaction and passion and income.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I need to know more what to do?
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 5: I actually volunteered with a friend who was a sales
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Speaker 5: rep in the hair and beauty industry, since that was
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Speaker 5: the industry that I knew and was familiar with. I
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Speaker 5: followed her around for nine months working with her, and
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Speaker 5: she gave me commission two hundred dollars here, two hundred
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Speaker 5: dollars there for opening new business with her, and I
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Speaker 5: thought I can do this. I went and did a
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Speaker 5: training and assessing course and within nine months I left
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Speaker 5: the beauty industry for good.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
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Speaker 5: I've been doing that for nearly eight years now, working
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Speaker 5: as a hair and beauty sales rep within Victoria, and
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Speaker 5: I absolutely love it.
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Speaker 4: I get to teach the skills that I.
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Speaker 5: Learned from the salon environment and share with women and
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Speaker 5: you know, talk about the things that I still love.
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Speaker 4: But it doesn't hurt my back and my body anymore.
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Speaker 5: From physics doing the jobs, and I'm earning more money
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Speaker 5: and feeling financially rewarded.
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Speaker 2: I love this, and I love that you kind of
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Speaker 2: got to stay in an area that you were clearly
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Speaker 2: passionate about. I feel like so many of us fall
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Speaker 2: into these careers that are arguably on the lower end
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Speaker 2: of the pay because you just go, well, I'm really
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Speaker 2: passionate about it, and I really want to do it,
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Speaker 2: like this is what I love, and then you just
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Speaker 2: don't get rewarded and then you end up burnt out.
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Speaker 2: But what a good step. I want to know now, though,
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Speaker 2: like what is your actual job title and how much
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Speaker 2: money do you earn now? Because I know that it's
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Speaker 2: not the fifty five grand you started on.
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Speaker 5: No, So my actual title is an account manager or
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Speaker 5: a B to B salesperson. My base salary is eighty
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Speaker 5: five thousand dollars A yeah.
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Speaker 2: All very nice.
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Speaker 5: I receive a fully paid company car, petrol, everything included,
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Speaker 5: and I also get commission on different components within my role.
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Speaker 5: So my average income of commission per year is between
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Speaker 5: ten and twenty thousand dollars on top of my base salary.
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Speaker 2: Very nice, and the company car is like the little
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Speaker 2: cherry on the top because that stuff adds up, like
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Speaker 2: petrol and everything, regio insurance, even just ongoing costs, Like
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Speaker 2: that's nice not to have to foot.
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Speaker 5: It also gives me more freedom within my role. I
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Speaker 5: feel I'm not restricted using my own car, I'm using
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Speaker 5: their car. I feel like I can give more in
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Speaker 5: my position as well, if that makes sense.
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Speaker 2: We're not putting ks on a car that then is
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Speaker 2: depreciating in value for you, Like I get it, and
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Speaker 2: I love that they provide that. But you mentioned before
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Speaker 2: that you own three properties, so I feel like you've
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Speaker 2: achieved a lot. So what are your actual money goals?
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Speaker 2: What are we working towards? Because I feel like you've
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Speaker 2: achieved it all already.
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Speaker 5: My big money goal, I suppose, would have to be
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Speaker 5: looking into this permanent care adoption process. So as much
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Speaker 5: as there's no costs within Australia to permanently adopt a
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Speaker 5: child or the other program we're looking into is permanent care,
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Speaker 5: there's no cost affiliated we do know, as you do, Victoria,
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Speaker 5: the cost of a child. In general. We'd like to
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Speaker 5: provide a similar upbringing to we have had, so we'd
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Speaker 5: like to go on holidays and have experiences with our child.
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Speaker 5: So at the moment, that's our biggest focus and money
8:12
Speaker 5: goal is to I guess, child proof our house, get
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Speaker 5: a house ready.
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Speaker 4: We have no idea what age child we're.
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Speaker 5: Going to be welcoming into our lives, so there's a
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Speaker 5: lot of unforeseeables that we would like to have the
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Speaker 5: money prepared for, and that's our biggest goal with the moment.
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Speaker 2: I love that, and I feel like it would be
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Speaker 2: such a nerve wracking process at the same time as
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Speaker 2: being like incredibly exciting, like you're welcoming a child into
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Speaker 2: your home. But I know how excited I was because
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Speaker 2: like when I was having a baby, I didn't find
8:43
Speaker 2: out the gender, and I was like, oh, I just
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Speaker 2: don't know, but you don't know so much more than that.
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Speaker 2: Is that exciting or daunting or like what does that
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Speaker 2: look like?
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Speaker 5: I often think about it because the process can take
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Speaker 5: a lot of time, but once it starts, it can
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Speaker 5: move really fast. So we could literally get a phone
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Speaker 5: or next week saying there's a four year old girl
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Speaker 5: that's maybe got autism that's ready for your home, and
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Speaker 5: you're like, okay, four year old girl, what do I do?
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Speaker 5: What do they need? You know, you need to look
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Speaker 5: at what sort of care providers are in your area
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Speaker 5: and schools. Maybe if they're four, maybe we need to
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Speaker 5: look at primary school. It's pretty big and they're get
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Speaker 5: to come with their own interests and passions, and I
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Speaker 5: can't wait to curate that and see what they're all about.
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Speaker 5: It's really wonderful.
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Speaker 2: I want to be pervy because I feel like this
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Speaker 2: is something that you know, we don't often get the
9:29
Speaker 2: opportunity to look into, and Google doesn't provide a lot.
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Speaker 2: As you're probably going to tell me, how did you
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Speaker 2: work out what that process would look like? Because you
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Speaker 2: know you mentioned in your story, look after twelve, like
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Speaker 2: that's a lot twelve unsuccessful IVF rounds you've decided that
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Speaker 2: adoption or you know, permanent care is for you. How
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Speaker 2: did you get to that?
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Speaker 5: Yeah, Look, it's a really hard thing deciding to finish
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Speaker 5: up IVF after twelve rounds because we're in a higher
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Speaker 5: financial bracket and then, and I guess most people that
10:02
Speaker 5: we know it wasn't a financial decision to end the IVF,
10:07
Speaker 5: as much as I know that's coming from such a
10:09
Speaker 5: privileged place. We had to make a decision that was
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Speaker 5: mental and physical. It got to a point where it
10:16
Speaker 5: was so taxing on my body. My body had been
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Speaker 5: pumped with hormones and all these toxins and you know,
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Speaker 5: all these things for so long I'd become so sick,
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Speaker 5: so physically I couldn't continue doing IVF. In Australia, surrogacy
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Speaker 5: is not the same as it is in countries like the.
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Speaker 4: US or England.
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Speaker 5: And you know, you can't pay or you can't offer
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Speaker 5: any services to anyone to become a surrogate. Therefore, you're
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Speaker 5: relying on close family and friends who have had children
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Speaker 5: that are willing to give up their body and their
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Speaker 5: lives for this period of time for us, and we
10:53
Speaker 5: did put the call out to know our network with
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Speaker 5: some hope and a lot of people in our friendship
10:59
Speaker 5: group have just not been their family journey and we
11:02
Speaker 5: completely respect that and understand that the sacrifice is just
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Speaker 5: too large and for us to look at overseas options
11:10
Speaker 5: it was going to cost between two hundred thousand and
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Speaker 5: half a million dollars.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's actually wild so for.
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Speaker 5: Us permanent care and adoption they're two separate programs within Victoria,
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Speaker 5: but both options to me sounded like more of a
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Speaker 5: guarantee and also, somewhere in my heart, I always felt
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Speaker 5: like I would adopt a child, and a child that
11:33
Speaker 5: maybe is requiring a little bit more extra love and attention,
11:38
Speaker 5: maybe has suffered from trauma. I believe we've got the
11:41
Speaker 5: skill set to be able to help maybe where they
11:44
Speaker 5: haven't had that love and support before.
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Speaker 4: And I love that opportunity. So it just felt right
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Speaker 4: in the heart.
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Speaker 2: That literally gives me groosebumps. You are such a special
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Speaker 2: human Like it's one thing to want a child, right,
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Speaker 2: I think most people would say, Okay, well, you know,
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Speaker 2: I don't know if I want to take on the
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Speaker 2: extra baggage of, you know, a child that has additional needs,
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Speaker 2: and you're like, oh, I would love to do that.
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Speaker 2: I have the space in my heart and my home.
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Speaker 2: And I'm just like, I want to be your best friend.
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Speaker 2: Like you are literally such a special human being. And
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Speaker 2: it sounds like your partner and you are probably on
12:15
Speaker 2: the same page, is that right, You're both in this
12:17
Speaker 2: situation where you're like, this is going to work.
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Speaker 5: Well, Look, we had to have the conversation because our
12:22
Speaker 5: complications are with me, not with Kim.
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Speaker 4: Are you in or you're out? Like if you're out,
12:27
Speaker 4: that's it.
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Speaker 5: You know, we had to have those serious conversations, and
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Speaker 5: I think having a divorce before made me a bit more.
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Speaker 4: In reality of that. I'm like, this is a barrier.
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Speaker 5: I said, you know, we could look at maybe using
12:38
Speaker 5: your parts with someone else, a's other options, you know.
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Speaker 5: But he didn't want that either. He didn't want anything
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Speaker 5: that wasn't both of us. He just wanted to parent
12:47
Speaker 5: with me.
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Speaker 2: I love this so much.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, he's a wonderful guy. He's going through the whole
12:52
Speaker 5: journey as much as what I have. I think, you
12:54
Speaker 5: know a lot of people underestimate the man in the
12:57
Speaker 5: relationship or the partner.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, but they're on the road, they're they're air every
13:01
Speaker 4: step of the way.
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Speaker 2: So how are you financially preparing for this journey? Are
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Speaker 2: you just saving like crazy, or are you, you know,
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Speaker 2: setting up an emergency fund, or are you like doing
13:12
Speaker 2: research into what different things could cost? Like where are
13:15
Speaker 2: you starting?
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Speaker 5: We did initially look a lot into the surrogacy option overseas,
13:19
Speaker 5: so we did extend the mortgage on one of our
13:21
Speaker 5: properties to prepare for that, which we've just left sort
13:25
Speaker 5: of sitting on that mortgage at the moment, not touching it.
13:28
Speaker 5: Because we have decided to go down the other route.
13:31
Speaker 5: In the way of preparation, we've been spending bits and
13:35
Speaker 5: pieces along the journey, and the sense of buying lockboxes
13:38
Speaker 5: because we could be getting, like I said, a nine
13:40
Speaker 5: year old that its mother was addicted to something. We
13:44
Speaker 5: need to be really, really cautious of what outcomes are possible.
13:47
Speaker 5: So we're preparing for the absolute worst. We're changing furniture
13:52
Speaker 5: in our home where we can, you know, buying different
13:55
Speaker 5: bits and bolbs that we can think of, as well
13:57
Speaker 5: as I guess spending a lot of money and time
13:59
Speaker 5: on research. So I really would like to adapt a
14:03
Speaker 5: parenting style that's therapeutic, that is all about the child,
14:09
Speaker 5: nurturing them, trauma response and all these things actually cost
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Speaker 5: time and money to read the books and to find
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Speaker 5: out about them, to ten seminars, take the time off
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Speaker 5: work to be able to prepare for it. The bits
14:21
Speaker 5: and pieces, we just really try to save as much
14:23
Speaker 5: as we can, and I guess make some lifestyle changes
14:27
Speaker 5: now in preparation.
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Speaker 2: I love that. And having gone down this route, have
14:33
Speaker 2: you been having conversations about what that timeline can look like.
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Speaker 2: I know that adoption is incredibly fickle, but I don't
14:40
Speaker 2: know a lot about permanent care. Is this something where
14:43
Speaker 2: you know when you talk to them, they go, oh,
14:45
Speaker 2: it could be a ten year, eight or it could
14:46
Speaker 2: be five seconds. Like what's the usual time frame on
14:50
Speaker 2: these things.
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Speaker 5: They're saying within permanent care? Is it could be today,
14:54
Speaker 5: it could be next month, or it could be never.
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Speaker 2: Right. So it's literally the longest and most fraught journey ever.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, there's no guarantee.
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Speaker 2: Of course not. Yeah, I just know that someone special
15:07
Speaker 2: is coming for you though, because even just the way
15:08
Speaker 2: that I'm getting to know you, I'm like, I would
15:10
Speaker 2: give you a baby immediately. Mike, you look like you're
15:12
Speaker 2: going to be a great mum. In fact, you've got
15:14
Speaker 2: to be a better than me. So can you please
15:15
Speaker 2: tell me or your tips and tricks.
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Speaker 5: Look, I think when you've had obstacles in your way,
15:21
Speaker 5: you do have to consider things differently to a parent
15:25
Speaker 5: that has just had a child or fallen pregnant. Accidentally,
15:29
Speaker 5: I've had years to prepare for different outcomes, different scenarios,
15:34
Speaker 5: but there's still going to be so many unknowns, and
15:37
Speaker 5: I'm sure I'm going to continue to learn.
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Speaker 4: Like you are, Victoria, I.
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Speaker 2: Think, oh wow, I love it. I've got so many questions,
15:44
Speaker 2: but we need to go to a quick break on
15:46
Speaker 2: the flip side. We're going to talk a little bit
15:47
Speaker 2: more about this, but also about the debt that you've
15:50
Speaker 2: got on the mortgages you've got. I want to know
15:52
Speaker 2: about investments, and then your best and your worst money habits,
15:54
Speaker 2: so guys, don't go anywhere money darist. We are back,
16:02
Speaker 2: and I'm just in awe, Like, I just think you're
16:04
Speaker 2: such a special human being, like to go through what
16:07
Speaker 2: you've gone through, but then to be saying, oh no,
16:09
Speaker 2: I just really want to adapt a positive parenting style
16:12
Speaker 2: that's really based on like therapeutic approaches. I'm like, you're
16:16
Speaker 2: the person kids neat like I cannot wait to hear
16:20
Speaker 2: about who joins your family. But I want to know
16:22
Speaker 2: a bit more of the pervy financial stuff. Tell me
16:25
Speaker 2: about investments. Do you have investments. I'm kind of assuming
16:28
Speaker 2: you do if you have three houses, So tell me
16:31
Speaker 2: a bit more about that.
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Speaker 5: Absolutely, So I had a property, Like I said to you,
16:36
Speaker 5: I purchased my property at twenty nine for four hundred
16:40
Speaker 5: thousand dollars. That property has been rented for the last
16:44
Speaker 5: five years and is currently getting a five point eight
16:47
Speaker 5: percent rental yield.
16:49
Speaker 2: Oh very nice, not too bad, not too bad. I
16:53
Speaker 2: like that you knew your rental yield as well. That's
16:55
Speaker 2: very sexy.
16:56
Speaker 5: Oh wow, thank you. And I was very lucky I
17:00
Speaker 5: met my now husband. He also had his money and
17:04
Speaker 5: finances together, so he had a property prior to meeting
17:08
Speaker 5: myself as well that he paid two hundred and ninety
17:11
Speaker 5: two thousand dollars for and it currently has a rental
17:14
Speaker 5: yield or seven point six percent.
17:16
Speaker 2: So yes, please. People are like, oh my gosh, so
17:20
Speaker 2: I'm looking for a guy. He's taller than six for
17:23
Speaker 2: you know, you need to have blue eyes, all of
17:25
Speaker 2: these things. And I'm here like, so does he have
17:27
Speaker 2: an emergency fund?
17:29
Speaker 1: Like?
17:29
Speaker 2: Is he into property? Like the things you find sexy?
17:34
Speaker 2: Mnag just a little bit different. And I think that
17:36
Speaker 2: you and I are on the same page. Those are
17:39
Speaker 2: two properties that you had in Now I'm assuming you
17:41
Speaker 2: have a property together.
17:43
Speaker 4: He mauled it. Last year we finished a build.
17:46
Speaker 5: It took over two years to build our first home together.
17:50
Speaker 5: After seven years together, we're finally living in our own home.
17:53
Speaker 5: This property purchase price was eight hundred and seventy thousand dollars,
17:58
Speaker 5: but we actually paid forty percent upfront.
18:00
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, okay, money bags.
18:02
Speaker 5: Yeah, so we were really lucky for five years to
18:05
Speaker 5: rent off my in laws, who gave us a really
18:08
Speaker 5: good price. They were happy. We were extremely happy and fortunate.
18:13
Speaker 5: Didn't pay much rent for five years, and we saved
18:16
Speaker 5: over three hundred thousand dollars in that time.
18:18
Speaker 2: Oh my god. And then you were able to just
18:21
Speaker 2: put that all towards your home, and so now you've
18:23
Speaker 2: got really good equity in that home. But also I'm
18:27
Speaker 2: missuming you're feeling pretty financially stable with that decision, because like,
18:31
Speaker 2: eight hundred and seventy thousand dollars is a lot of
18:33
Speaker 2: money to be spending on property. Was that something that
18:36
Speaker 2: was daunting at the time, like or was that like, oh,
18:38
Speaker 2: we're going to have to spend that. I don't know
18:40
Speaker 2: where you live, so what does that look like?
18:43
Speaker 5: It was risky because we brought off the plan Victoria
18:47
Speaker 5: gave me.
18:47
Speaker 2: It can be great, but if it doesn't exist and
18:49
Speaker 2: you're asking for my life savings, like that's a lot
18:52
Speaker 2: to ask of someone.
18:53
Speaker 4: Yeah, we went down to the wire.
18:55
Speaker 5: We put the deposit down ten percent in twenty twenty one,
19:00
Speaker 5: come twenty twenty three, a year ago. The interest rates
19:05
Speaker 5: obviously have gone crazy. So we were pre approved in
19:08
Speaker 5: twenty twenty one for seven hundred thousand. Yep, in twenty
19:12
Speaker 5: twenty three, they offered us five hundred thousand dollars on
19:16
Speaker 5: a higher income under our current situation.
19:20
Speaker 2: And that's so common at the moment, Like we're seeing
19:22
Speaker 2: that at work a lot, like obviously for those of
19:25
Speaker 2: you playing a long at home, I have a mortgage
19:27
Speaker 2: broking business, but we see it often where people are like, oh, yep,
19:31
Speaker 2: I just am gonna put my head down and save safe,
19:34
Speaker 2: save for the next two years because I saw a broker,
19:36
Speaker 2: And then we speak to them and they're like, no, no, no,
19:38
Speaker 2: I was superved for much higher and you go, yeah,
19:41
Speaker 2: but the interest rates have gone up, and unfortunately that's
19:44
Speaker 2: not good for borrowing capacity. So what did that mean
19:48
Speaker 2: for you guys? Obviously you had some very sexy savings,
19:52
Speaker 2: But is that why you had to put forty percent down?
19:55
Speaker 2: Was that maybe not a choice and more of a necessity.
19:57
Speaker 5: We would have had to put about thirty five percent
20:00
Speaker 5: down from memory, but we decided to just round it
20:03
Speaker 5: up make it forty percent. We did leave ourselves around
20:06
Speaker 5: eighty thousand dollars as a nest egg, after which we
20:10
Speaker 5: were very fortunate that we had, but for me, that
20:12
Speaker 5: still felt like we were taking majority of the money
20:15
Speaker 5: that we had. And if you go back a year ago,
20:18
Speaker 5: we were still doing IVF, So you're looking at very
20:22
Speaker 5: high expenses in our life at the time. To leave
20:25
Speaker 5: us with eighty thousand dollars meant maybe five or six
20:28
Speaker 5: more rounds of IVF. And I never wanted our finances
20:33
Speaker 5: to impact the decision. I wanted to finish IVF when
20:36
Speaker 5: we were ready, not because of a financial choice.
20:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that must be really common. I haven't been
20:43
Speaker 2: through that process, but know a lot of people who have,
20:46
Speaker 2: and the financial pressure. You know, at the end of
20:50
Speaker 2: the day, obviously I'm all about saving and investing, but
20:54
Speaker 2: if having a child is the most valuable thing to you,
20:58
Speaker 2: money comes back. Like I feel like so many times
21:01
Speaker 2: people are like, oh, but it's so expensive, and it's
21:03
Speaker 2: just a different conversation than saving for your first home.
21:07
Speaker 2: It's a different conversation than you know, having an emergency fund.
21:11
Speaker 2: For a lot of people, especially women, there's a time
21:14
Speaker 2: on it as well, Like there's you know, a period
21:17
Speaker 2: of time where you know, the older you get, the
21:19
Speaker 2: more they say, look, your chances are going to be lower,
21:22
Speaker 2: And it's wild to think that that's what we have
21:24
Speaker 2: to deal with. But I feel like, I love that
21:28
Speaker 2: you didn't have to make that decision because of finances,
21:30
Speaker 2: because there's not going to be that level of regret
21:32
Speaker 2: in the future, right, It's not going to be like
21:35
Speaker 2: if we only had managed to scrape together Xyz, we
21:38
Speaker 2: maybe could have. Like, I feel like I love that
21:41
Speaker 2: it's a conscious decision to move forward in that journey.
21:45
Speaker 2: Was that a long time coming?
21:47
Speaker 5: I would say after I think round eight we had
21:49
Speaker 5: a really successful round and was the six embryos, so
21:53
Speaker 5: that gave us hope.
21:54
Speaker 4: Again.
21:55
Speaker 5: It's a rollercoaster of emotions. You think, oh, this is
21:58
Speaker 5: going to work, and then you go or no. At
22:01
Speaker 5: the time, I had no medical reason to why I
22:04
Speaker 5: wasn't falling pregnant.
22:05
Speaker 4: So I actually sat.
22:08
Speaker 5: There one day and decided that I'm never going to
22:11
Speaker 5: make the decision to end my fertility journey from my heart,
22:15
Speaker 5: it's never going to happen. I had to make the
22:18
Speaker 5: decision from my head. It was time. It was heartbreaking,
22:23
Speaker 5: Like you said, I had to exhaust every option possible.
22:26
Speaker 5: I had to make a decision that wasn't just about
22:29
Speaker 5: finances or anything like that to be able to be
22:33
Speaker 5: okay in my conscious and to be able to heal
22:35
Speaker 5: from that.
22:36
Speaker 4: Because that will always be a part of me.
22:39
Speaker 5: Only three weeks ago, I made the step for my
22:42
Speaker 5: personal health of having a hysterectomy. So I will never
22:46
Speaker 5: be birthing my child. I will never breastfeed. That's something
22:52
Speaker 5: that I will never be able to let go of.
22:56
Speaker 4: But I know I'll be an amazing someone else's child
23:05
Speaker 4: that they're not able to be a mother. Just know what.
23:09
Speaker 4: That's the thing you've got to decide, and it's really hard.
23:15
Speaker 2: I am so proud of you. You're going to make
23:17
Speaker 2: me cry. I'm going to break. Like I told you
23:20
Speaker 2: earlier that you were a really social human and like
23:24
Speaker 2: I just feel like the right kid is coming your way.
23:26
Speaker 2: Like it all all makes sense. And it doesn't often
23:29
Speaker 2: help to share stories about other people going through the
23:32
Speaker 2: situation because everybody's journey is different. But one of my
23:35
Speaker 2: girlfriends has been through more than thirty rounds of IVF
23:39
Speaker 2: and she ended up having a baby, which is wild,
23:44
Speaker 2: and we always talk about how it was always him
23:48
Speaker 2: like it was always meant to be him, and it
23:51
Speaker 2: was never meant to be anybody else. And when they
23:53
Speaker 2: come along, you finally realize that that's who was coming
23:57
Speaker 2: for you. And I just know that's coming for you.
24:00
Speaker 2: They're going to turn up one day and you'll be like,
24:01
Speaker 2: of course it's you. Of course, Like this is why
24:05
Speaker 2: I went through that, And like as much as it
24:07
Speaker 2: doesn't help, or I don't think it helps to share
24:10
Speaker 2: stories of other people, just this idea that that's the
24:14
Speaker 2: feeling when it does finally happen, I feel like that
24:17
Speaker 2: keeps the light at the end of the tunnel burning
24:20
Speaker 2: and open and there for you because like, oh, you're
24:23
Speaker 2: going to be the best mum, like you already are,
24:26
Speaker 2: like look at you go. I love this.
24:28
Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you.
24:29
Speaker 2: Back to money for a little bit. I want to
24:31
Speaker 2: know a bit more about debt, because like, thankfully we
24:33
Speaker 2: know that you're in a financially stable position. Before we
24:37
Speaker 2: heard that you already have three homes. One was four
24:41
Speaker 2: hundred thousand. Your husband bought a home for two hundred
24:43
Speaker 2: and ninety two thousand, and you've obviously got the eight
24:46
Speaker 2: hundred and seventy thousand one that you paid forty percent
24:49
Speaker 2: for what do the debts on those properties look like
24:52
Speaker 2: at the moment.
24:53
Speaker 5: So our current principal home is four hundred and seventy
24:56
Speaker 5: thousand dollar alone, Mm hmm. Then we've still got around
25:00
Speaker 5: two hundred thousand dollars on my husband's property, and still
25:04
Speaker 5: the full amount of four hundred thousand dollars on my property,
25:08
Speaker 5: just purely because I have tapped into that a couple
25:10
Speaker 5: of times and withdrawn some money from. So we're looking
25:14
Speaker 5: at I think it's one point one or just under
25:16
Speaker 5: that in debt in total.
25:19
Speaker 2: And is this something that stresses you out? I feel
25:22
Speaker 2: like a lot of people they go a million dollars
25:25
Speaker 2: in debt, that's wild. Obviously they're assets, so to me,
25:28
Speaker 2: it's quite pragmatic. But how do you feel about that
25:31
Speaker 2: when you calculate it all up?
25:33
Speaker 4: I don't feel stressed about money.
25:35
Speaker 5: I never have because I've always found a way to
25:38
Speaker 5: earn money. I've always found a way looking for supplementary income.
25:43
Speaker 4: I've never been without a job.
25:45
Speaker 5: I've been made redundant twice and I found a job
25:48
Speaker 5: within six weeks.
25:49
Speaker 2: Twice twice twice? How did that not come up earlier?
25:54
Speaker 2: That is being here with the rootstick like, are you joking? Twice?
25:58
Speaker 2: How does that happen?
26:00
Speaker 5: Mainly covid Once was March of twenty twenty, and then
26:03
Speaker 5: it was again in twenty twenty one, and through that
26:06
Speaker 5: time I worked at Centerlink. I tried to go and
26:09
Speaker 5: center Link for the first time of my life and
26:11
Speaker 5: they called me and said, do you want a job instead?
26:14
Speaker 2: You're yes, slave, I'll do that.
26:17
Speaker 4: What am I doing at Centilink?
26:19
Speaker 2: So I didn't even know that was possible.
26:22
Speaker 4: I didn't either. I think it was a prank call.
26:25
Speaker 2: You're like, hey, can I have Sentlink? And They're like, no,
26:27
Speaker 2: do you want a job?
26:29
Speaker 4: I'm like, that seems like it pays more. I'll take that.
26:32
Speaker 4: I would take that too, absolutely.
26:35
Speaker 5: So for me, money isn't something that I worry about. Victoria,
26:39
Speaker 5: I loved being a beauty therapist. I'll go and be
26:41
Speaker 5: a beauty therapist again. If I need to be, I'll
26:44
Speaker 5: do whatever. I'll plan toilets. I don't care what I
26:47
Speaker 5: have to do. We have got that privilege of two properties.
26:50
Speaker 5: I will just sell one. They're both making really good
26:53
Speaker 5: rental return at the moment, So for the now, I
26:56
Speaker 5: just want to keep sitting on it until there comes
26:58
Speaker 5: a time that we even need it, or those areas
27:01
Speaker 5: grow to a point that the profit is just too
27:04
Speaker 5: good to take up, I supposing we'll sell them.
27:06
Speaker 2: I love this mentality. I feel like you have a
27:08
Speaker 2: really healthy mindset around money. Do you think that comes
27:13
Speaker 2: from your money story or do you think that comes
27:15
Speaker 2: from somewhere else? Or like, how do I step further
27:18
Speaker 2: into this? Money doesn't stress me? Vibe because even though
27:22
Speaker 2: I should be relatively stress free around money, like money
27:25
Speaker 2: still gives me anxiety. Like money still stresses me out?
27:29
Speaker 2: So how do I step more into that? Because that
27:31
Speaker 2: sounds pretty good?
27:32
Speaker 4: This is going to sound wrong to say on your podcast.
27:35
Speaker 4: It's not that important to me.
27:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, good and no, that's absolutely not wrong to say
27:39
Speaker 2: on my podcast.
27:40
Speaker 5: I believe I need money in order to provide the
27:43
Speaker 5: future that I want and the future that I need,
27:46
Speaker 5: But it's not my happiness. My happiness is within my life,
27:52
Speaker 5: my family, my dogs, That's what my focus is always
27:55
Speaker 5: going to be on. So for me, I guess I've
27:58
Speaker 5: never had to struggle too much with money either. And
28:00
Speaker 5: when I did, like I said, I did something about it.
28:04
Speaker 5: I was not going to allow myself to be fin
28:07
Speaker 5: financially backwards, so it's just not a priority. I put
28:12
Speaker 5: time and effort into it, but it's not important to
28:15
Speaker 5: me in that way.
28:16
Speaker 2: I love that, and I feel like that is definitely
28:19
Speaker 2: a reality check because you're right, it's not that important
28:22
Speaker 2: in the grand scheme of things. There are so many
28:24
Speaker 2: things that are so much more important than money. So
28:28
Speaker 2: tell me. I feel like you probably have some good
28:30
Speaker 2: money habits despite not caring too much about it. What
28:33
Speaker 2: do you think is your best money habit.
28:36
Speaker 4: My husband's actually an accountant, so.
28:38
Speaker 2: Okay, money win. So he was really financially literate. He
28:41
Speaker 2: came with a property, he liked investing, and then he
28:43
Speaker 2: was an accountant okay slave.
28:44
Speaker 5: So my best money habit was letting go on a
28:47
Speaker 5: lot of the stress of money and putting it on
28:50
Speaker 5: his shoulders.
28:50
Speaker 4: And he loves that.
28:52
Speaker 5: He does the spreadsheets and he organizes it. I just
28:55
Speaker 5: ask him if I if we've got enough money for
28:57
Speaker 5: me to spend this or that. We discuss our big
29:00
Speaker 5: finances together, but outside that, I have no stress.
29:04
Speaker 2: You're just like, this is great, he can do it.
29:06
Speaker 4: It's so great.
29:07
Speaker 5: We sit down once a week and we have a
29:09
Speaker 5: financial chat about where things are at, where the goals.
29:12
Speaker 2: Once a week every week. How do you do that?
29:14
Speaker 2: Do you schedule it? Is this like a proper day
29:17
Speaker 2: in accountant?
29:18
Speaker 4: Have you met an accountant?
29:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, my dad's an accountant, But I never saw my
29:22
Speaker 2: parents doing money dates, So like, is this something that
29:25
Speaker 2: I've missed out on?
29:26
Speaker 4: We don't just do a money day, Victoria. We do
29:28
Speaker 4: a relationship check in once a week.
29:31
Speaker 2: I feel like I need to know so much more.
29:33
Speaker 2: Like this podcast, I was coming towards the end and
29:35
Speaker 2: I'm just not now.
29:36
Speaker 4: So we check in on our week.
29:38
Speaker 5: We talk about our hopes and dreams, we talk about
29:41
Speaker 5: our future child, we talk about if there's any ingrieviances
29:46
Speaker 5: that we've had with each other that we need to
29:48
Speaker 5: talk out in a nice, comfortable way that we don't judge.
29:52
Speaker 5: And we spend that time together to invest like you
29:56
Speaker 5: do in your workplace or your co workers know you
29:59
Speaker 5: check in, So we spend that time usually in a bath,
30:03
Speaker 5: or go for a walk, or we'll just do something together.
30:07
Speaker 2: I love this so much, Like I'm low key really jealous,
30:11
Speaker 2: Like I don't have that, and I'm going to go
30:13
Speaker 2: home and be like, so Steve, if I was thinking,
30:15
Speaker 2: because that just sounds really damn healthy.
30:18
Speaker 4: It is healthy.
30:19
Speaker 5: We find we don't bicker as much and we understand
30:23
Speaker 5: each other. You know, I quite often look up little
30:26
Speaker 5: scenarios and I say, so, what are you going to
30:28
Speaker 5: do if our child has a tantrum in the toilet
30:31
Speaker 5: and won't come out and he goes?
30:32
Speaker 4: I don't know, so let's work it out. What are
30:34
Speaker 4: we going to do? Let's like prepare ourselves.
30:36
Speaker 2: I literally do the same thing. So that's not the
30:38
Speaker 2: type of relationship check in. But I make up scenarios
30:41
Speaker 2: in my head and then I'm like, so, Steve, what if?
30:44
Speaker 2: And then he is like, well, I would do X,
30:46
Speaker 2: Y Z. And I'm like, but why why wouldn't you
30:48
Speaker 2: do this other thing? Because I recently learned because I
30:51
Speaker 2: read every parenting book under the sun, Like, but what
30:53
Speaker 2: about this? Like that's not very gentle parenting of you?
30:56
Speaker 2: As a Often it's would you still love me? I
31:00
Speaker 2: follows a worm?
31:01
Speaker 4: But yes, that's a good one.
31:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, I mean it can start there. This feels
31:06
Speaker 2: like I'm taking it from being healthy to being novel.
31:10
Speaker 2: But you know what, I've got to start somewhere. So
31:12
Speaker 2: it's a good idea. It's a great idea. I mean
31:15
Speaker 2: I don't even want to ask the next question because
31:17
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm ruining the mood. But do you
31:19
Speaker 2: have any bad money habits?
31:20
Speaker 5: Definitely, my biggest money bad habit would have to be
31:25
Speaker 5: buying food on the road because of my job.
31:28
Speaker 4: It's just so tempting. I'll pack a nice sandwich and.
31:31
Speaker 5: Then I'm like, oh, but there's snits or something looks
31:35
Speaker 5: yummy and tasty.
31:36
Speaker 2: Chips at Schnitz are definitely worth it. So tell me
31:41
Speaker 2: a little bit more about how you manage for that.
31:42
Speaker 2: Is that something that's in the weekly budget, Like is
31:45
Speaker 2: that something that you sit down with your husband and
31:46
Speaker 2: it's allocated for or is that something that you're like,
31:48
Speaker 2: oh my gosh. Be like when I say that I
31:51
Speaker 2: buy food on the road, it blows our budget out completely,
31:53
Speaker 2: Like what does that actually look like?
31:56
Speaker 4: I'd say more the second one be but.
31:58
Speaker 2: You don't niggle because you checked in it every week
32:00
Speaker 2: about it, so it's fine.
32:01
Speaker 5: Absolutely, Yeah, we talk about it and have you were safe?
32:04
Speaker 5: You didn't bring your lunch a couple of times this week?
32:07
Speaker 5: Or he'll say do you want to make your lunch
32:09
Speaker 5: for tomorrow? I'm like, yep, that's a little check in
32:12
Speaker 5: a little subtle, like you've done it a few times
32:14
Speaker 5: this week sometimes like uh, yes, that's how it's going
32:17
Speaker 5: to be this week. It's been one of those weeks,
32:18
Speaker 5: and he's like, Okay, no worries.
32:20
Speaker 2: He does it in the same way someone might offer
32:22
Speaker 2: you a mint and you're like, I probably should take
32:25
Speaker 2: the mint.
32:27
Speaker 4: You probably should take the mint.
32:29
Speaker 2: I love that. Oh my gosh. At the start of
32:31
Speaker 2: this episode, you told us you're a bee, But come on,
32:36
Speaker 2: I feel like after learning about you three houses, your
32:39
Speaker 2: head screwed on weekly not monthly, weekly money and life
32:44
Speaker 2: check ins with your husband having a full plan around
32:48
Speaker 2: you know what the rest of your life is going
32:50
Speaker 2: to look like. I just feel like Bee's maybe not
32:53
Speaker 2: that accurate. So tell me after having this chat, is
32:57
Speaker 2: A be accurate? If so? Why?
32:59
Speaker 1: If not?
33:00
Speaker 2: What is your new money score and what would it
33:04
Speaker 2: take to get to an A plus? Like what would
33:06
Speaker 2: you have to change?
33:07
Speaker 4: Maybe a B plus?
33:10
Speaker 5: Maybe how could increase it slightly after I chat to
33:13
Speaker 5: bring it to an A. I'm not sure what else
33:15
Speaker 5: I really want from my money story in that sense
33:18
Speaker 5: of what else I need, But I just always think
33:20
Speaker 5: you've got to leave a little bit of room for improvement,
33:22
Speaker 5: victoria and evolution.
33:24
Speaker 4: Never know where it's going to go.
33:25
Speaker 1: Yeah.
33:25
Speaker 2: See, I'm a perfectionist, so whenever I got a B
33:28
Speaker 2: plus on something, I would just rip up the paper
33:30
Speaker 2: and be really frustrated at it because it wasn't what
33:32
Speaker 2: I wanted. But I feel like having room for growth
33:36
Speaker 2: is important. But I also feel like you are probably
33:39
Speaker 2: one of the most grown money humans I've ever met.
33:42
Speaker 2: You just have your head screwed on. You know what
33:44
Speaker 2: you want. You know that money is important, but it's
33:47
Speaker 2: not that important, And I think that that's a lesson
33:49
Speaker 2: that we all need to learn, Like money is not
33:51
Speaker 2: the be all end all. It's important, it is the
33:53
Speaker 2: thing that makes the world go around, but it's not
33:57
Speaker 2: the thing that makes life fulfilling, right, And this money Diary,
34:01
Speaker 2: I think has really reminded me and hopefully everyone listening
34:05
Speaker 2: of that. Honestly, it's so special to have shared what
34:08
Speaker 2: you've shared with us. I love it. I'm really sad
34:11
Speaker 2: that this is all we have time for today because
34:13
Speaker 2: it's been honestly a privilege to share the last hour
34:17
Speaker 2: with you, hanging out having a chat. But I just
34:19
Speaker 2: know this community is going to adore what you've shared
34:23
Speaker 2: because it's just been so open and honest and raw
34:26
Speaker 2: and also just real and also I really want to
34:28
Speaker 2: do money dates like that though, like not boring ones. Yeah,
34:32
Speaker 2: not boring ones, not boring ones. So thank you so much.
34:35
Speaker 2: I've absolutely loved this.
34:37
Speaker 4: Thank you, Victoria.
34:44
Speaker 2: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
34:47
Speaker 2: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
34:50
Speaker 2: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
34:54
Speaker 2: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
34:57
Speaker 2: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
35:00
Speaker 2: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards
35:04
Speaker 2: your needs. Victoria, Divine and She's on the Money are
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Speaker 2: D A b N three two one six four nine
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Speaker 2: five one two eight nine