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Are You Accidentally Pushing Your Spouse Away in the Bedroom? · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing marriage well for March 13, 2026. Are you accidentally pushing your spouse away in the bedroom?
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  Sexuality is full of counterproductive behaviors and people seem especially unaware of them.
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  Let me briefly touch on a few. Word choice.
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  I think any words you and your spouse agree to use for sexual body parts and
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  sex acts are fine, but many folks have sexual words they dislike or even hate.
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  Using a word your spouse dislikes is pushing them away.
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  Undesired words could be slang words or curse words, but there are other words
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  that can be problematic.
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  Most men don't want to hear their wife talk about their pee-pee,
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  and some women are put off by words such as moist or panty.
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  Sexual Joking. Not dirty jokes, but rather joking about your sex life.
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  If your spouse takes sex seriously, making a joke about it might be a turn-off,
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  and joking about a sexual struggle can feel belittling.
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  Using humor to cover rejection or embarrassment can also be problematic,
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  and making a crack about frequency would not be well-received.
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  Unexpected Touch. Outside of sexual activity, many women and some men prefer
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  not to be touched in a sexual manner.
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  Reasons for this include past trauma, sensory sensitivity, feeling objectified,
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  or the association of surprise touch with pressure for sex.
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  Regardless of why, if it makes your spouse uncomfortable, that's bad for your
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  relationship and your sex life.
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  Unenjoyed touch. There can be places your spouse does not want to be touched,
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  even during sex, or methods of being touched that they dislike.
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  For example, some women find nipple play uncomfortable, annoying, or distracting.
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  For such a woman, attention to the nipples during foreplay is a bad plan.
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  Some men may feel the same way about having their penis touched at certain times
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  during sex or in certain ways.
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  After talk. Asking, did you climax right after sex, is upsetting to some women.
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  How was it, and other questions may also be unwanted.
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  Few women want to recap, and no one wants to hear, it would have been better
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  if you had... Stick to words of love and discuss the mechanics of sex at another time.
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  Are you saying or doing things that put your spouse off sex?
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  You might be, and not even be aware of it. If you think it's safe to discuss
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  it, ask your spouse about it.
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  Otherwise, be aware and look for signs you're getting the opposite of what you want.
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  A note, I want to apologize to those of you who got the unedited version of
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  yesterday's podcast. The good version has been posted.
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  This is Paul, reminding you that doing sex well looks different for every couple.