Latest / Bomb Life / Relationships, Dating & Finding Yourself with Jacob Razo |287

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Relationships, Dating & Finding Yourself with Jacob Razo |287 · Bomb Life

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: All the information we retain online and majority of it is kind of this biased information depending on what you're asking.
• 0:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like it falls along the data.
• 0:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: If I don't settle, if he or she can't do this and if she's not this, then you need to leave.
• 0:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, okay, whatever happened to compromise.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever happened to, this is my partner.
• 0:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's work this out.
• 0:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's get to a better stage.
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's figure these things out together and build because that's what people do.
• 0:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's just more so like, well, if it's not the finish line, I don't want it.
• 0:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Welcome to the Bond Life podcast where fitness, vines, and real talk collide.
• 0:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: This is it just about workouts.
• 0:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's about transforming your body, mind, and life.
• 0:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: Get ready for unfiltered conversations, expert advice, and the motivation you need to level up in every way.
• 1:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: Hey everyone, welcome to the Bomb Life podcast.
• 1:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: I am Melissa Volga, your host.
• 1:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Welcome to the show.
• 1:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god, I just want to dive right into today's episode because one, it's a little bit longer.
• 1:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: And two of you guys are gonna love it.
• 1:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're gonna laugh with me today.
• 1:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're gonna have these aha moments.
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're just, it's a different type of episode today and it's so phenomenal.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just, I can't wait to get to it.
• 1:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: So let's cover quick housekeeping things and then dive right in.
• 1:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you haven't yet,
• 1:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: rate and review this podcast five stars if you feel it's appropriate and then leave a review every single one does so many amazing things for the show and it's like leaving me a huge tip in the tip jar.
• 1:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's a busy season right now.
• 1:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's getting super busy for me and you guys know I have to put this plug in because I don't ever want you to think that
• 1:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, I just can't do this right now.
• 1:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, I don't need help right now.
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, I don't want to move forward because so much is going on.
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: Uh, it's all the assets lies that we tell ourselves.
• 2:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I want you to know that I am here to help.
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: My schedule is busy.
• 2:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: I might be tight.
• 2:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: There might only be very limited options.
• 2:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: But go to the show notes.
• 2:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: Click on the link and book a fifteen minute discovery call with me.
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: and know that you have someone in your corner.
• 2:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: Someone is there to help you navigate like, what's the next step I need to take in my life with my food?
• 2:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: With my workouts, with my relationship, with my mindset.
• 2:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: Remember, I work with people not just with training and workouts and food.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's everything.
• 2:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's an entire lifestyle change.
• 2:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I wanted to say this because when you're listening to this episode, we talk about that core foundation of self-confidence, self-love.
• 2:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: And if you're not working on that, everything else in a way, it's
• 2:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's not a significant.
• 2:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't want to say it doesn't matter, but man, you need to have that solid foundation of that self-love, that confidence, because it's going to project you into the right direction and your changes and results are going to last for life.
• 2:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: And our conversation today is just going to open your eyes to that even more.
• 3:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I wanted to make sure I said that.
• 3:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know I say it never episode, but I wanted to put it in there too.
• 3:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: So go to the show notes.
• 3:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're going to find all the links for today's guest to make sure you follow him.
• 3:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: and say everything that's going on, and then you're going to find links to everything for the show, booking, and stuff, Discovery Call and all that.
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: So never miss the show notes.
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just love you guys.
• 3:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: We had one people who do this show without you and all of your support and love.
• 3:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: So feel free to keep writing into the show.
• 3:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's Melissa Vogel at gmail.com.
• 3:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's our email.
• 3:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's
• 3:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: ITS Melissa Vogel at gmail.com right into the show, give me ideas, give me your thoughts, feedback, everything we love hearing from you guys, and then also you can send me a DM at its Melissa Vogel on Instagram.
• 3:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: You could find me on Facebook.
• 3:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: Most of you like to reach out to me on there, which is totally fine.
• 3:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: It alerts me, but I love hearing from you guys.
• 3:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: So stay tuned.
• 3:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: Everything is always posted on Instagram and what's coming up next, what's out this week.
• 3:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's just a great place for you guys to go and stay connected.
• 3:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, today's guest.
• 3:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh my God.
• 3:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: He is a creator.
• 3:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, let me tell you his name, duh.
• 4:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: We have Jacob Rosso on and he's a creator.
• 4:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: He's a storyteller and the unapologetic voice behind this might be toxic podcast with a mass of following on TikTok and Instagram.
• 4:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Jacob Rosso has made his mark with his unfiltered takes on dating, relationships, and all the messy hilarious moments in between, and he's known for keeping it raw.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: Keeping it fun and always saying what everyone else is thinking, whether it's about modern dating struggles, boundaries, or the gap between expectations and reality.
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: Jacob doesn't just make us laugh, he makes us think.
• 4:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that's why his content resonates with so many people.
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: You guys this episode is great.
• 4:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: sit back, relax, put the headphones in because some of the content we talk about is not PG.
• 4:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: You guys are just going to love the show so grab your popcorn and then I say this many times you're going to jump over to his TikTok and you're just going to dive into the comments because we need to protect this man at all cost.
• 4:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Everyone enjoy the show.
• 5:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Hey, everyone.
• 5:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: Welcome to the bomb life podcast today.
• 5:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: We have Jacob Rosso on welcome to the show, Jacob.
• 5:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for having me on have to be.
• 5:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: I am excited to hear and you guys are not going to lie.
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: This is round two for to try this week failed.
• 5:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: We're back.
• 5:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: It has been a very crazy morning for us.
• 5:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I wanted to talk before that's why I wanted to get it out.
• 5:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: So you know, just get it out.
• 5:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: But now we need like all the bullshit to stop and like let's flow into this this episode.
• 5:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we feel good now.
• 5:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not going to lie.
• 5:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm kind of girl fanning over here.
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
• 5:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm blessing.
• 5:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, I don't know what to say to that.
• 5:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
• 5:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm super excited to have you on your creator.
• 5:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're a storyteller.
• 5:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're a podcaster.
• 5:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: You guys, he has a podcast on a polygetic voice.
• 5:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: I love that title for you.
• 5:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: And this might be toxic podcast.
• 5:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Love the name.
• 5:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you.
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: You also have another podcast coming out sometime this year, correct?
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: Called Zennish.
• 6:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
• 6:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm excited for both of those.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god, you guys can follow him on TikTok Instagram.
• 6:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think that's where I found you was TikTok.
• 6:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's the common consensus of how everybody finds me.
• 6:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, yeah, you're pretty familiar.
• 6:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do you remember the video that did it for you?
• 6:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god, there's been many.
• 6:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: The ones that first introduced me to you, it was someone did up what's it called when they do a stretch.
• 6:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
• 6:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 6:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 6:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: And this woman was dying laughing while you were talking.
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: Do you know what I'm talking about?
• 6:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I get like, I get the notifications for stitches, but again, I'm just posting and just leaving it out there.
• 6:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: So.
• 6:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
• 6:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
• 6:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: You guys are, I don't, you guys will have to go and find it.
• 6:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: I thought I repost it.
• 6:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: And the other day, I went to go look for it again.
• 6:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: You guys as content is hilarious because you're so just honest and real about your thoughts and feelings about women, about dating, like sex, everything.
• 6:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I think that's what attracted me to you is like, that's so true.
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're saying the shit that no one wants to talk about or admit and you're putting the heart to it.
• 7:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like that's only way it's relatable when people can laugh at it and be like, that's natural.
• 7:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know, that's funny.
• 7:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: But the one stitch that you had done was you were talking about being with a girl and not understanding why the X her X was still like coming around.
• 7:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 7:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you were talking about then your experience with her.
• 7:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 7:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: I was special and unique.
• 7:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: You see that she I'm trying to like make this a
• 7:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.
• 7:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: More P.G.
• 7:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: More P.G.
• 7:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: But like you understand now why that guy is so like, hey, I still do it.
• 7:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: And where did you go?
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you said something about now I'm carpooling with this.
• 7:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, man.
• 7:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Me and do the carpooling next to your house because it's like, once you experience it, you're like, oh, I'm going to send a bunch of text messages that don't get replied to as well.
• 7:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
• 7:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 7:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: That one.
• 7:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 7:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: That one did really good.
• 7:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: It was so funny.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: You guys have to check them out.
• 7:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: What you're, what you're, take talking Instagram, say it right now.
• 7:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I don't forget.
• 7:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: I had Jacob Lee Ross on everything, so it's J.C.O.B.
• 8:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: L.E.
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: R.A.
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Z.O.
• 8:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Is Lee your middle name?
• 8:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it is.
• 8:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 8:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: The other one that caught my attention is you were talking about being half Mexican and half Hispanic, and I'm like, oh,
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: You get it too.
• 8:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god, I totally got it.
• 8:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I was just laughing at some of the things you were saying because I could totally relate.
• 8:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then I'm like, I wonder if he was ever told growing up.
• 8:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: Hey, you're only half Mexican.
• 8:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: All the time.
• 8:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I get that today is a dope.
• 8:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: My white side, my white side.
• 8:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know what I'm saying though, my white side used to tell me all the time like, oh, you're only half like don't tell anyone because I look more white like.
• 8:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you're not Mexican enough to do Mexican things.
• 8:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like you never got to participate in the reindeer games.
• 8:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like get it all the time.
• 8:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just I always make joke of like I'm just the Chipotle of people.
• 8:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm the Taco Bell of people.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.
• 8:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's Mexican, but is it really?
• 8:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right?
• 8:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then I ended up with like a half Mexican dog.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: I have a palm cheese.
• 9:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: So he's pomerating in Chihuahua and I'm like, dude, even my dogs half Mexican.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: What's happening here?
• 9:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a good mix.
• 9:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: I like the blends.
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, it's just makes it interesting.
• 9:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then when people find out now, they're like, you are, because I'm five foot nine.
• 9:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: So when I go off to the like family reunions and stuff, like everyone comes up to my shoulders.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, let's be real.
• 9:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: All of them are kind of my great aunt, so they're like up to my shoulder.
• 9:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I just stand out like, you know, sort of thumb, my brother looks white too.
• 9:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: There's five of us in my youngest brother completely.
• 9:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like my sister looks like complete being her, like all of our kids.
• 9:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Totally.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then there's me and my brother and he's like six four white.
• 9:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: My grandma will make where my grandma's from in Mexico.
• 9:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's like super wide and pale, but like yeah, my whole family short.
• 9:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: So the whole web back side of me is short.
• 9:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: The red next side of me is just tall as fuck.
• 9:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I like hanging out with the Mexican side of me.
• 9:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: It looks better by comparison to other people.
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: The fact that I'm taller than my dad.
• 9:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, all right, cool.
• 9:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're good.
• 10:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we're good.
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: How tall are you?
• 10:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Six foot, but I always lie on my lives because I feel like it's such a weird question.
• 10:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: Why?
• 10:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because it's like a weird question, like how tall are you?
• 10:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Am I?
• 10:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is this going to deter you from ever watching a video?
• 10:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, it's all being world.
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 10:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Really?
• 10:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why?
• 10:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, you're five, you're five nine.
• 10:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're tall.
• 10:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: You need somebody tall.
• 10:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can see that.
• 10:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's the girls that are like four, three and a half that are dating somebody that's like six, twelve.
• 10:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't care.
• 10:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, see that for us.
• 10:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they're just selfish.
• 10:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, I'm five nine, then you put some heels on me.
• 10:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm close to six foot.
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, yeah, and even that, like that would even like now your eye level with me, so I'm like, well, this doesn't, you know, five metrics.
• 10:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's still making me feel bad.
• 10:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'd be like, take those off.
• 10:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: Recruitments.
• 10:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just get all flat sandals.
• 10:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's it.
• 10:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's all your get just broken stocks.
• 10:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Just keep these on.
• 10:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: all the time at all the time.
• 10:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, that's so funny.
• 10:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: So do you feel, and I'm curious about this, I bring everything back to like health and fitness.
• 10:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're going to notice that a lot.
• 11:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like I just bring everything back to health and fitness.
• 11:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: Did you feel being told like you're not, you're, you're only half Mexican and you're not enough or, you know, you still got that wide and you do you feel that played into your like self confidence or self worth at all growing up?
• 11:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I think when I was younger, but again, like, I kind of dropped the whole, like, if I, like, there was this whole meeting to feel like you were accepted by something, kind of like you wanted to fit in, like, if you were, if I was hanging out with, like, my Mexican cousins are Mexican friends, it was like, well, you're not Mexican enough, or if I wanted to do white people shit with the white side of my family, it's like, well, you're not white, and then I was like, well, fuck it, I'm just what I am.
• 11:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I think at a younger age for sure, like it was more of, where do I fit in?
• 11:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And what can I represent?
• 11:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, all I can be is just myself.
• 11:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And like, I am these two races.
• 11:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, yeah.
• 11:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: I feel like it did for me, especially in high school.
• 11:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, I wanted to join like the Hispanic culture club, and they're like, I'm like, my last name, Jaime, what's happening here?
• 11:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Am I being discriminated against?
• 11:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: I always make jokes to say like racism is in every form, even the light is outside of it, to where it's like, you can't accept somebody because they're not that ethnic enough.
• 12:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know.
• 12:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you see, they always make fun of Drake for it too.
• 12:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like he's not black and it's like, he is though.
• 12:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's his culture as well.
• 12:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 12:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 12:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't get to disqualify him because his mom is white.
• 12:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and I don't know if it's because I'm a chick, but I feel like it did make me have a weird sense of like, where do I belong?
• 12:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, what is my identity?
• 12:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I kind of like questioned a little bit of my, my worth and I'm realizing now that like as you get older, your sense of worth and your self-esteem and like yourself confidence, it plays a huge role in your health and fitness journey.
• 12:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, you don't think you're worth it.
• 12:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're not going to show up.
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, you're going to make bad choices with food and alcohol and you know whether or not you go to the gym and I'm always like trying to dissect that like where the hell did that start and I'm like oh Jesus I think I think it started with that of like where do I fit in or you're not good enough for
• 13:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.
• 13:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, it's identity.
• 13:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like everybody has an identity crisis, right?
• 13:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like even now, as an adult, where it came into adulthood, where, you know, when I stopped drinking and stuff, like, it was like, well, this was such a big part of me.
• 13:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And there's so many positive reinforcements for that.
• 13:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, because when you drink, it's like, good nights, good nights with friends.
• 13:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: You hook up with girls.
• 13:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: You hook up like, whatever, like, whatever the night may be, you're like, that felt good.
• 13:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you think it's the alcohol that brought you to that point.
• 13:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you're like, well, I can't give this up.
• 13:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I got to go out because this is only time these things happen.
• 13:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 13:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, same thing with everything you do in life.
• 13:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Just Jim, even just getting into that healthier lifestyle, you're like in my boring.
• 13:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 13:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 13:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: Tell me more about that.
• 13:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, when was there a breaking point when you decided to stop drinking, like, did something bad happen that you're like, no more like this can't keep happening?
• 13:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think I just like, I mean, not bad like in the sense of like, I think fucking I got shit face and Dallas with my friend for birthday like a bunch of her girlfriends were there and I'm like following a sleep basically on the sidewalk outside of Airbnb, which wasn't too far out of my character at that time, but I was just like, I think I've done it.
• 14:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think I took it to this place of excess and it was really fun and I have so many fond memories of it and it was great through my twenties.
• 14:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, but how much more?
• 14:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm like, I get the idea.
• 14:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: I get to just how much more can I possibly do?
• 14:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: What else is out there for me with this substance?
• 14:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: Do you find more clear?
• 14:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, do you find yourself thinking more clearly and having more clarity and stuff?
• 14:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
• 14:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I love waking up, not feeling like shit.
• 14:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's amazing for me.
• 14:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, yeah, I'm curious how that has played a role into selecting a partner or like the dating world because I have found that the first thing people ask you on like a first date or something is like, let's go have a drink.
• 14:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't drink on Wednesdays, you know, I'll meet up with you.
• 14:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: You can, but I'm curious if that has played a role in that area of your life.
• 15:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I live on the living life principle.
• 15:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if somebody drinks and that's part of their character, I get that means to let the agree, obviously, I'll be like, are you an alcoholic or are you just like, it's a very, it's a very social activity and I understand that.
• 15:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: So and again, I'll never demonize it.
• 15:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to be that sober person that's like, you should stop.
• 15:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: But there's so many other things you can do.
• 15:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: And again, that goes back to the identity thing of like, well, what do I like to do?
• 15:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: What are my hobbies?
• 15:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 15:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because drinking is not a hobby.
• 15:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was for a long time.
• 15:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: But have you ever heard the phrase drinking is a hobby for the hobby list?
• 15:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yikes.
• 15:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: No.
• 15:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: But it's not.
• 15:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's that low hanging fruit, right?
• 15:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can do it anytime anywhere in a kind of amplifiers in the situation you're in.
• 15:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
• 15:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's great.
• 15:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I know I have people listening
• 15:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: Of all ages right now I can think of like five people off hand that are listening and they drink with their significant other.
• 15:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know, I'll try Thursday night Friday Saturday night maybe a little on Sunday and I'm sure they're listening going, oh, okay, my that person without the hobby like.
• 16:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I like the conversation around this because I think it gets people thinking about it.
• 16:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then I like hearing that you have stopped and you can keep living and you're doing just fine and probably learning more about yourself.
• 16:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: So it's an encouraging message for people for sure.
• 16:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
• 16:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think like when I talk to people about it, it's when you are you drink on the weekends or you're like a weekend warrior.
• 16:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: So personally, not at all.
• 16:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: I, if I do, it's only Friday and Saturday and I honestly can't remember the last two tricks.
• 16:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: So it's probably like once every couple of months.
• 16:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 16:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I always tell people, I'm like, if you can do it, like if it's something that you have a good rap, like you understand what it's for, it's great to use it as a tool.
• 16:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because it is fun.
• 16:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: I like I grow out to bar still, like I don't drink, I'll just get like a club soda in a line.
• 16:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm not that fucking dork and they're doing nothing.
• 16:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 16:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, no, it's really fun and socializing is really good.
• 16:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I think my whole thing was how can I get the personality that I have when I'm drinking sober?
• 17:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like that confidence.
• 17:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 17:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: That is such a good question.
• 17:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 17:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know a lot of people that crazy.
• 17:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know a ton of people that left the Mormon faith.
• 17:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: And so now as adults, they're trying to figure out, like, how do we drink?
• 17:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: How much is too much?
• 17:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, I've had people ask, like, is drinking a bottle of wine a day bad?
• 17:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, they don't know the boundaries and limits around it.
• 17:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 17:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: And so they have discovered a whole new kind of like personality of their own that drinking brought out.
• 17:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I've said to them before and even other clients of like, OK, how do you discover you without that though?
• 17:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know what's funny is like, you again, tying it back into fitness.
• 17:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Have you noticed when you get this, you know, when you get the physique that you like or you lose weight or you gain weight, whatever it may be, right?
• 17:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: You get this overwhelming sense of confidence.
• 17:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: You start wanting to go to these places where you can almost show it off a little bit.
• 17:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's kind of in that realm of like, but then it's these pullers.
• 18:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: So these puller opposites.
• 18:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: So drinking is one where it's like, if I'm not drinking, I can't have a good time.
• 18:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or then you get to the fitness side where you're like super addicted to be like, oh, no, I just had a sandwich, I'm too bloated to go to the beach.
• 18:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's these addictions to these poor opposite things, but you just have to learn that you're the same person when you're drinking, you're just more of a socialite.
• 18:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: When you're extremely fit and you feel good and you think that way about yourself, you're extremely social and you're excited.
• 18:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's just getting that comfortability with yourself.
• 18:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's just that confidence.
• 18:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's figuring out what that button is and we'll hit it whenever you want to.
• 18:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 18:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it's so important that such a message that I'm always trying to like just pound into people is that like your life and how you grow and change the foundation is your self-love and self-confidence.
• 18:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like it's going to determine the people that you sleep with.
• 18:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's going to determine the behavior that you allow, how people talk to you, how you show up.
• 18:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like it's just, you're just reiterating the same message.
• 18:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, and I love that people get to hear it from someone else.
• 18:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like that is your foundation right there.
• 19:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 19:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: No matter what you do, no matter where you go, you're always being who you are.
• 19:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: And like when you have like I say alcohol, I'm none of your the same thing because those are the times you're going to see who a person truly is.
• 19:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you see how if a person's an angry drunk, that's an angry person, but they get to let it out with the alcohol, same thing with money.
• 19:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Somebody's happy as hell, you're going to see it through the alcohol.
• 19:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're like, it's just going to amplify who that person already is.
• 19:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 19:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 19:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, when I'm like shit faced, I am a fucking blast class, but I am without like, you know, let's go.
• 19:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 19:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 19:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm in the gym.
• 19:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.
• 19:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: Along with you, and I'm like, oh, you should see me drunk.
• 19:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm really fun.
• 19:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: The only thing sober is like, you just get to have that frontal cortex still engaged to where like when you're drinking your prefrontal cortex is gone.
• 19:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, I might be too much of a good time when that's gone.
• 19:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm all like, I've made a lot of bad decisions.
• 19:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: I will definitely, but definitely fun in the time, but let's not do that again.
• 19:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 19:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Time and time and a place, time and a place.
• 19:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, my twenties, man.
• 19:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.
• 20:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: A lot of spring break and Florida.
• 20:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, see, that'll do it to you.
• 20:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: That'll definitely where you, uh, what is the Panama City Beach?
• 20:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 20:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you were Daytona just getting.
• 20:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 20:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, what was the drink of choice?
• 20:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, sex on the beach, for sure.
• 20:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Really?
• 20:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, God, it would, where you get so wasted on that, just.
• 20:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: What a cliche cocktail.
• 20:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, horrible for you.
• 20:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 20:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then I can't remember the, oh, audio smother fucker.
• 20:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I don't know if we're just seeing how those are the best bang for your buck honestly.
• 20:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, if we're going to do this, we're going to do this right.
• 20:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: That was like the motto, you know, and man, I'm just like, where were my parents?
• 20:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, we flew there.
• 20:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: I remember going as a junior in high school, a senior, and I'm like, how did I not die?
• 20:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: How did I not get kidnapped?
• 20:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's the youthful blood.
• 20:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: They were different.
• 20:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 20:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: They were just mad dog, twenty, twenties, and four locals when those came out.
• 20:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a good time.
• 20:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: We are good run.
• 20:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: We did.
• 20:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just remember just being like barefoot carrying my shoes, just walking the strip, you know, back in the hotel.
• 21:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, she's amazed.
• 21:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Were you big on fitness back then?
• 21:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, were you still like heavily into the gym?
• 21:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: I was not as much, not as like psycho about it, but I was like teaching classes and like I started teaching around fifteen.
• 21:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: And they're like, sh, don't tell anyone how old you are.
• 21:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm like, okay.
• 21:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, you're one of those people that were drinking based on calorie.
• 21:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 21:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, yes.
• 21:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: Shots are definitely better bang for your buck.
• 21:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 21:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 21:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: First.
• 21:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 21:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: I could get away with it.
• 21:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: What do you mean you can get away with it?
• 21:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, I could drink and not gain any weight and like I could drink and be out took two a.m.
• 21:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: and then wake up and teach a seven a.m.
• 21:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: class.
• 21:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's just being young though.
• 21:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: The youth is wasted on the young.
• 21:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because if I could do that now, if I could do it, it should now.
• 21:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'd be like, great.
• 21:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: I would have a great time.
• 21:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 21:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, it just fucked me up for like a week.
• 21:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 21:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, and I feel like the biggest liar ever.
• 21:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: I feel like I would just not be who I am on social media and my podcast is, you know, as a mom, you know, if I was like doing all of that and then being like, you can still have abs and biceps and like a booty and still get shit face.
• 22:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like, that's not true.
• 22:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I mean like I remember when I was partying still like that was when I jumped into like cycling like my very first like doing cycles and stuff because I wasn't I didn't told Broadway I wasn't going to do competition I was just like I want to be fucking big so I got the I started with test and then like getting into that but like on those things I think a lot of the influencers like the way that
• 22:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: people take pictures, the lighting.
• 22:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's something that needs to come to light for a lot of people because I don't think it should be demonized as much as it is, especially if you're in the fitness culture.
• 22:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I would tell people straight out because I would see people lie.
• 22:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're like, oh, how did you get this body and I would see dudes lie just like, yeah, man, chicken and rice.
• 22:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, no, it's not.
• 22:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a lot of trend, but let's fucking
• 22:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 22:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you see a lot of people on the internet and, you know, influencers and it's like it's a great lighting and these people do work really hard.
• 22:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's not to discredit what they do and people think you're going to take these things in its magic and it does help but the body just won't feel as crazy in that sense.
• 23:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 23:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and it's happening more and more like when you get it because I know I know a lot of people in the industry and I know the behind the scenes and I'm like, I know what you're taking and I take pride in being like considered natural still, you know, like I don't, okay, anything I don't do anything unless creating counts.
• 23:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it's just right, it's just happening so much more and I have to always tell that to my clients and explain to them like, yes, she looks like that or guys like yes, he looks like that, but there's a lot more going on that you don't understand and even like the lighting in the angles like if I take a picture and I'm just like standing here like this, I look so fucking fat, but if I'm like this, look at that just now.
• 23:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: twisting the waist, right?
• 23:49
  [UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
• 23:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's the same reason every guy when I do a photo is like to the side with their arm because it looks huge.
• 23:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like it's knowing your angles, but I think also the honesty behind it is huge for people because it makes a lot of people feel bad.
• 24:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 24:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know people that have to unfollow certain people because they like a market.
• 24:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's it's real because there's there's two sides of this.
• 24:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like these people really do put in the work.
• 24:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: These people really do the gym every day and their diet is locked in and okay, if they do P, these great, but it's also this other ninety percent.
• 24:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: And just like everybody else, when you take a picture, you want it to be the best picture.
• 24:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 24:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you see people in soft lighting and it's like, oh, that's a normal, maybe not normal to everybody, but it's like it's a normal active, healthy lifestyle physique.
• 24:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 24:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 24:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: But those shadows will make you look juiced and just cut and dice.
• 24:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's great.
• 24:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I have to remind people like that's why when people get on stage for competition, they're tan as fuck.
• 24:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, absolutely.
• 24:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's not just because they're in a bikini and they want to look great.
• 24:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: Tanned up there.
• 24:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm like, that is for definition and to fool the eye.
• 24:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: And they're like, oh, it's, and then the dehydration pills to just sucks all the water out of you.
• 25:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a lot of people don't know like what it takes to get to stages.
• 25:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I have friends.
• 25:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: I do it.
• 25:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, I don't fucking, I'm like, it's just, you don't even even like, you're not even, I don't think you've ever had a grain of rice.
• 25:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 25:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then
• 25:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know about you, but one of the reasons why I've never done that or tried to go after my card or anything like that or compete.
• 25:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know myself and I will constantly compare myself to the best shape I'm in on that stage.
• 25:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: And if I'm not that person, I'll always be like, oh my god, I'm so fat.
• 25:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: Look what I used to look like.
• 25:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Now look at me now.
• 25:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 25:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: What do you think that is?
• 25:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: What do you think that is for women?
• 25:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because I know it's like this huge, I always make jokes about it on like TikToks and stuff.
• 25:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I'm like, it's, because you can tell somebody they like pretty or they look great, you genuinely mean it, right?
• 25:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: But what is this thing in a woman's brain works like, well, you have to say that or you're just saying that or you're just, and it's like, do you not feel that way about yourself?
• 25:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like it's like almost like fucking hard to convince you that I've found you attractive.
• 25:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 25:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh my God.
• 25:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: I love that you're asking that because so many women are listening.
• 25:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going.
• 26:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 26:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 26:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: And there's, I think there's two women.
• 26:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think there's two sides.
• 26:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: One, I think there's the woman that genuinely thinks that.
• 26:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's like, there's no way he thinks that because we look at the mirror and we're like, oh my God, I'm so fat.
• 26:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: And if I like suck in and I just look like this or like dream shit to our face, like we see like the worst of us.
• 26:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: And so we're like, there's no way someone else could love that about me.
• 26:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then there's the other woman.
• 26:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: That is like, oh my God, I don't look like that.
• 26:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: Don't say it.
• 26:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: So just so you say it more.
• 26:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: She knows she's got to go on on or she knows that she's pretty, but like, you know, if I just accept that, then he's going to stop.
• 26:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I like hearing that.
• 26:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it like feeds the ego.
• 26:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: I've seen both.
• 26:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm like, bitch, you know, you're pretty shut the fuck up.
• 26:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: But there's I met women that are pretty that I don't know if they don't believe it.
• 26:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, and they're, yeah, they're in that category.
• 26:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I get mean after a while because I'm like, OK, I just agree with you.
• 26:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: You look terrible today.
• 26:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I'm lying.
• 26:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just like, well, we're going to keep going through this whole cat and mouse game.
• 26:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: You do up a hundred percent.
• 26:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, no, no, do that.
• 27:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: Don't do that.
• 27:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: And any guys listing right now.
• 27:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, don't do that.
• 27:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not a good.
• 27:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Keep keep doing it because God, women need so much reassurance.
• 27:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it will take you's telling us twenty thousand times for us to just believe you a little bit.
• 27:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: Just to crack that door open to be like,
• 27:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, wait, wait, wait.
• 27:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think that was it.
• 27:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: The scary part is though, it's like, if you don't think you're pretty, and if me telling you isn't enough, it's like, are you gonna get it?
• 27:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's the lack of confidence for people in general.
• 27:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you're seeking affirmation and validation in other places, and I'm like, we'll believe me.
• 27:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 27:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can have to.
• 27:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was certain degree.
• 27:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: you have to because then if you end up divorced, depending on the dating world, you are still seeking that or not even divorce just like an adult in the dating world.
• 27:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're still seeking that validation from other people and you're going to find the wrong partners to give it to you.
• 27:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it's I've gotten trapped in that and it's it's very scary and I've had to do a lot of work to realize like all that love, all that reassurance, all that that's got to come from me first.
• 28:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh yeah, that's not not someone else and then I know people that are married and still try and get that from their partner and they've been married for ten years and I'm like no bitch like we got to find that self love in you without him in the picture or her you have to fill your own cup up because you got two full cups life is great, but if you have to keep pouring into somebody else's eventually you'll be empty
• 28:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
• 28:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's a beautiful thing.
• 28:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: You did a TikTok on that one time when I'm bringing that up, but it's a beautiful thing when two people can have full cups of water come together and you make a fucking picture.
• 28:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's what's good.
• 28:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: Not someone has a full cup.
• 28:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: Someone's got a couple drops and you're just like, oh, here.
• 28:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: Here, let me keep adding in there.
• 28:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: You did a TikTok one time kind of on this topic and you were talking about and correct me if I'm wrong.
• 28:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: all about how people say they do the work and say that they're healed.
• 29:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then they're, but they're like not really healed.
• 29:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Do you know what I'm talking about?
• 29:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
• 29:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, tell me about that TikTok and why you made it.
• 29:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, I mean, like a lot of the things that I say is like based on me because I'm big on accountability and like I know when I'm lying to myself.
• 29:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
• 29:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think I did that for so many years because it feels really nice to say that you did the work.
• 29:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 29:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it goes into like the therapy culture and I think therapy is great, but also it's like you have to understand you got to learn to be honest with yourself before you go get a third party because they only know we're going to tell them.
• 29:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: So healing, right?
• 29:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's fun to say.
• 29:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think a lot of people get like, oh, that doesn't bug me anymore.
• 29:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: That doesn't bug me anymore.
• 29:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And they share the memes and they share the pictures and they say all the shit and it sounds great.
• 29:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you've done this surface level digging, but it's like the real shit really hurts.
• 29:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like it really sucks.
• 29:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: You lose a lot of people.
• 29:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: You almost feel like you lose a part of yourself.
• 29:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: You go through these depressions and you go through these dark lows of just like fuck, who am I was a shitty person and admitting to yourself all your faults?
• 30:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: And forgiving people that you don't think need to be forgiven.
• 30:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's this fucking, that's you.
• 30:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's a hell of a ride.
• 30:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then you get to the end of it and you're like, thank God I got through that path.
• 30:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's like you're not even done there.
• 30:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: You just went through this, hopefully the hardest part of it.
• 30:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then you still got to build yourself back up and do that recovery process.
• 30:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 30:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 30:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: And if anyone listening, if you haven't done what he's saying, and you can't relate to that, or you haven't felt like those dark, deep moments, you haven't healed.
• 30:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of it is realizing that a lot of the shit in life is our fault.
• 30:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's so bad, it's such a terrible feeling, but you have to admit it.
• 30:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know.
• 30:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know.
• 30:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: Have you heard or experienced that the real healing happens and when you're like in a healthy relationship, when you're in a relationship and everything that you thought that you were okay with gets triggered in that healthy relationship and everything that you're like, oh, I thought I was fine.
• 30:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then you talk with someone who actually does communicate and actually does love you and then you're like, whoa, what the fuck is this?
• 31:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then you're like, all mad and upset and that person has nothing to do with it.
• 31:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's coming inside.
• 31:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's weird and you will use it.
• 31:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Friend told me.
• 31:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: The only people that have access to be able to hurt you or to make you feel those things are people that you genuinely care about, which is funny.
• 31:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Where it's like, you know, you always, you always hurt the ones you love.
• 31:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: It works in reverse too.
• 31:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, it's working both ways because
• 31:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's very easy to be like, well, I don't give you shit.
• 31:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I don't care.
• 31:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't care what anybody thinks.
• 31:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's easy to do that single and not with anybody.
• 31:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's easy to do that on the solo.
• 31:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: But once you get with somebody that you actually care about and you see longevity within that fear kicks back in, because now there's something to lose.
• 31:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or now there's something to where it's like, I'm going to be judged.
• 31:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: I actually do care if this person judges me.
• 31:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: So let me get angry.
• 31:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let me get sad.
• 31:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let me get so it's those re-sparkings.
• 31:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I've definitely been through that myself and I've seen a lot of people go through it too.
• 31:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: It sucks.
• 32:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: not to circle back to validation, but I wanted to ask you about like, because being on TikTok and Instagram and out there, I am sure you have gotten some crazy DMs.
• 32:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: Seriously, sometimes I just watch your shit just to go to the comments.
• 32:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, where's my popcorn?
• 32:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's great comments are the best part.
• 32:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: This is going to be good.
• 32:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I just love reading all the women and like what they say to you.
• 32:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: My favorite is when people say we must protect this man at all costs.
• 32:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: Thanks for your luck.
• 32:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: I chuckle every time I read that how do you handle that and how do you not let your head just get like enormous or be like oh my god no one DM me today or no one told me I'm pretty
• 32:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think like, I don't know, I think everything happens in life when it's supposed to happen.
• 32:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I think like when I was younger, I really would have probably had a fucking field day with the access that I had now.
• 32:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 32:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I think now it's more so I appreciate that what I've done and like things that I've created or things that I said have either made people laugh or help people in some way.
• 32:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's not more it's not so much like, oh, look at all these girls.
• 33:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, I'm very thankful I have a female audience.
• 33:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: But again, everything was created essentially like I made it for guys.
• 33:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like it was originally supposed to be dude content.
• 33:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to be like a bunch of bros because it was when Andrew tape and all those people were coming out.
• 33:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah.
• 33:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, guys don't talk like this.
• 33:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like we say stupid shit all the time, but we're just dudes.
• 33:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: We talk like normal dudes and women just took it and ran with it.
• 33:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: So now I mean, the DMs are nice.
• 33:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't go through them.
• 33:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't go through them often.
• 33:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: I like to like some people say really nice things.
• 33:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then there's other ones where it's like, I've seen more dudes now that I've together, seen in my life.
• 33:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's weird as a guy because I don't know how to respond.
• 33:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm like, I mean, if I don't respond to it or do I look great?
• 33:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or what do I like?
• 33:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: What do you say nice kids?
• 33:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like,
• 33:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, exactly.
• 33:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm like to the point of, I don't know, this never happened.
• 33:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: And like, I still feel like the fat little kid in myself.
• 33:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, so he's like, how far from you, like, there's no way.
• 33:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, yeah, there's no way.
• 33:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's just like, but you must get so many proposals.
• 34:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.
• 34:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't mean like the proposals, but proposals and propositions, because what you say makes women feel seen herd validated.
• 34:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: And when a woman,
• 34:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: is feels seen, heard, validated, we melt.
• 34:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, and I don't, I don't think men realize that, like, in a relationship, too, like, man, if you just make her feel that she's heard and, like, her feelings mean something, even though I feel like this image is crazy.
• 34:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: But honey, I love, I hear what you're saying.
• 34:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: That must feel horrible, like, you know, and you through your content, make women feel that way.
• 34:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Some people, I'm sure people are like, Jacob married me.
• 34:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think for me, the cool part was like, I did that unconscious.
• 34:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I didn't think about it.
• 34:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I never like, what makes it even more attractive way to go.
• 34:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I think it was scary because I was like, I was like, no, no, no, I'm like, I never, I think I was so big on talking about my flaws and like, I'm not perfect because I think the dudes on the internet that say shit in the realm of what I say, but their goal is to like just bang women.
• 35:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like they just want to use it to be able to be like, this is a good phrase to get women.
• 35:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, I don't want to be that guy.
• 35:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I've definitely fucked up.
• 35:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm bad.
• 35:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I'm bad at communicating.
• 35:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I'm really bad at texting.
• 35:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: I get really quiet sometimes.
• 35:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm still evolving and working on these things.
• 35:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, I never wanted to be that perfect boyfriend or fucking be that ideal man.
• 35:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, because I think if I do have a female audience, I'm like, you guys have to understand that we all fuck up.
• 35:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: like there's no perfect guy like even me it's like you see these videos but it's like I still have good days bad days like I'm still fucking working on ship progressively but I'm very thankful that that happened and I didn't have to try for it like it's just naturally how I am I think that was coming from toxic relationships too like
• 35:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: My first girlfriend, still loved her.
• 35:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think she's so great.
• 35:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think we were really young, but like convincing her about things or like trying so many ways in my head to see how she was feeling or why this anger was happening or why cheating happened.
• 35:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I would try to figure out what the reason was and what the cause was.
• 36:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: So doing that with her, if I can make it extremely easy with everybody else, because I was like, oh, there's a walk in the park compared to.
• 36:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And again, she was young and we were going through a lot of shit.
• 36:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: She was just in a different stage of her life.
• 36:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah.
• 36:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and hopefully you see now that that was so much of her stuff and not you to fix.
• 36:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and then again, like I played my part to like just growing through that, I think we were that coming of age moment, like coming into adults, and then realizing like, oh, she had a shitty past, you know, she had a chin childhood, and she's also seeking validation in these things.
• 36:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it wasn't anything that I did or that she did.
• 36:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was just kind of, we're expressing these emotions in the best way we know how at that time.
• 36:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 36:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Hey, Bob and my fam, I have a question for you.
• 36:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: Are you the kind of person who crushes it at work?
• 36:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: Shows up for your family, checks off every to-do list.
• 36:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: But when it comes to your fitness, your energy and your confidence, it feels like something's missing.
• 36:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: You might be doing the workouts listening to all the right podcasts.
• 36:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, you are listening to this one.
• 36:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: But deep down, you know you're just kind of going through the motions and you're done playing small in this area of life.
• 37:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's exactly why I created Fit Mind Coaching.
• 37:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: My private one-on-one program for high-achieving women and men who are ready to level up.
• 37:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: This isn't just another fitness plan.
• 37:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: This is about building the body and the mindset to match the life you're working so damn hard for.
• 37:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because success in business means nothing if you're hiding in hoodies avoiding mirrors or dragging through your day was your energy.
• 37:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: Or showing up on Zoom meetings feeling good from the chest up, but praying no one ever sees what's going on below the screen.
• 37:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: We're talking about fat loss, muscle building, and real confidence that bleeds into every area of your life.
• 37:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: Your boredom, your bedroom, and your parenting.
• 37:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: You want it all?
• 37:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: Good.
• 37:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: You should have it all.
• 37:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Let's go.
• 37:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Click the link in the show notes and book your free call with me today.
• 37:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: Let's build the strongest, most confident version of you inside and out.
• 37:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're ready for more, and I'm ready to show you how back to the show.
• 37:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: What's the funniest and most outrageous DM you've gotten?
• 37:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Can you think of one?
• 37:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Holder, can you get on the punch?
• 37:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: What?
• 38:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what level of vulgarity.
• 38:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: I need to try to switch up though.
• 38:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, we all want to know now.
• 38:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: People just turned up the value.
• 38:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: There was one nice lady who sent me a video of her, you know, playing with the little man in the boat, but her, my TikToks were streaming on her TV.
• 38:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: So she was essentially getting off to you.
• 38:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 38:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it was the, that was pretty cool.
• 38:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: And like the caption was like, you know, you can type in captions, so where it like says something on the screen.
• 38:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was like, it's the voice for me.
• 38:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then like, what a movie.
• 38:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Nice.
• 38:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're making everyone happy everywhere.
• 38:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's funny because I was get complimented on the voice and I'm like, well, at least we got that.
• 38:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I was just read.
• 38:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got a face for radio.
• 38:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: you're doing the podcast, so it's perfect.
• 38:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, exactly.
• 38:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: So the podcast, the amount of people that asked me to read like romance novels is, yeah.
• 38:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 38:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that's definitely, what are thinking about it?
• 38:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I'm definitely, I'm tearing out the ideas.
• 39:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: How do you do this?
• 39:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know.
• 39:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
• 39:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Still trying to figure that out.
• 39:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, you need a voice over manager agent.
• 39:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 39:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's what they tell me.
• 39:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: I love that.
• 39:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, I don't love your DM.
• 39:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: I love the whole voice thing.
• 39:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
• 39:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was all things considered.
• 39:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, that took some effort.
• 39:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, it did take time.
• 39:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, she set this up.
• 39:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, the video, I was like, wow.
• 39:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that's confidence.
• 39:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's why I feel weird not responding to them because I'm like, when this is the double standard, I'm like, when dudes do it, it's gross.
• 39:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, but we want to do it.
• 39:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, it took so much confidence to be able to send this and put that out there.
• 39:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, I don't want to absolutely
• 39:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: disregard this person.
• 39:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 39:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm like, love it.
• 39:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's, yeah, definitely.
• 39:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, definitely.
• 39:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: No.
• 39:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: I got one.
• 39:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: You got it for your DMs.
• 39:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my god.
• 39:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: I can't believe what I'm going to say this.
• 39:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't think I've ever told anyone except for like me, my friends and it.
• 39:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Open up.
• 39:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let me hear it.
• 39:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Give it to me.
• 39:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: Say it.
• 39:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: Say your line, lower the volume.
• 39:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, not say for work.
• 40:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: So we lower the volume a bit.
• 40:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
• 40:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: I got a video and it was a guy going opening his front door, taking care of business and he opened this front door on the porch and finished for everyone on his front porch, but it was nighttime.
• 40:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: I didn't see anyone out there, but
• 40:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: This was, this is somebody you know and you talked to.
• 40:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, no.
• 40:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: I have no idea who it was.
• 40:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: And yeah, just a lot of noises.
• 40:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: And there was like, this is for you.
• 40:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, and your whole neighborhood.
• 40:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, it was not just for you was for the neighbors.
• 40:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 40:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I really hope he doesn't live close to his school.
• 40:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right?
• 40:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I would just allow to.
• 40:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: I was just like, oh, like, what if someone drew by?
• 40:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: But I guess that was part of maybe the excitement.
• 40:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: And like,
• 40:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I wasn't impressed either.
• 40:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like I was like, oh, good for you.
• 40:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
• 40:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Did you send the clapping emojis?
• 40:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Didn't.
• 40:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just didn't respond.
• 40:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: And yeah, I don't care if I didn't feel hurt his feelings.
• 40:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're right.
• 40:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: It is different for men and women.
• 41:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 41:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: I like how, you know, that guy was thinking outside the box though.
• 41:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, it wasn't just in the bed on the old stomach there.
• 41:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: He just decided how did he clean it up to?
• 41:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think he just left it like there's probably like some marks on the concrete of his front porch, you know, like
• 41:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: just a bunch of ants.
• 41:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: I see what's funny.
• 41:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: What's funny to me is like, when and get so many.
• 41:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, for me, I'm like, you have to be quite impressive to think you're going to be the one that impresses.
• 41:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because I know girls like share them with each other, like, look at what this guy sent me.
• 41:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah.
• 41:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, there's, you know, there's, for like a better word, there's some big winners out there.
• 41:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, you know,
• 41:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: You've got to be really in that top five to one percent to be able to be like, she's going to job drop for this.
• 41:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 41:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it's crazy because most of them aren't job dropping.
• 41:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 41:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Wow, you're just, you're just, you're just the human anatomy.
• 41:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're really rocking that normal.
• 41:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god, and this is real.
• 41:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: I share this with my clients because I have like a group program and I'll share things with them.
• 42:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't typically share like on the podcast or like on social media, just for them.
• 42:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I, I'm always telling them like the amount of dick pics that I get or like people that say things to me or like at the gym, like I had a guy come up and do me not that long ago and I always go into the gym and flip flops.
• 42:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: Always.
• 42:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I think I told this story on other podcasts.
• 42:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: I was on like four dudes and they were all laughing and it's something about going from different shoes for me.
• 42:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like I have to sit down, put on my socks, put on my shoes, tie on the laces and then it's like go time.
• 42:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like I have.
• 42:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just I think it's weird if you just walk into the gym and the shoes that were just on the parking lot and I you're in the gym with them like I don't know it's a mental thing for me.
• 42:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like of switch and I I go in with my flip flops I go to the same place I sit down in a turf and this guy came up to me and he goes like I see you come in here all the time and he's like I realize this might be weird but like can I just take a picture of your feet?
• 42:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I wanted it to just be like, sure.
• 42:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: But I'm like, no, that's weird.
• 43:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: Don't know.
• 43:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: Don't say, yeah.
• 43:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 43:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't think so.
• 43:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't feel comfortable doing that.
• 43:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: And just like that.
• 43:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's sexual harassment.
• 43:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: That jeans never been to an HR meeting in his life.
• 43:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: I didn't know what to say or think.
• 43:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I was just like, oh, I got, I don't even remember why I started telling that story.
• 43:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I wonder what the thought process is though, because it's like, I guess, like the element of surprise, right?
• 43:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because you were so taken back, like, yeah, I was.
• 43:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, how many times have you watched me walk in here and been like, checking out my feet?
• 43:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: I feel so bad for women, because you all can't even wear flip flops anymore, because that's a thing now.
• 43:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: That is such a thing.
• 43:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 43:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: I get a lot of requests for my feet.
• 43:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I I I laugh so hard when I see the girls on Instagram that put the blur around the toes.
• 43:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god who like an emoji over them.
• 43:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we've fallen that far as guys just be like we can't even look at feet and stay normal.
• 43:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 43:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 43:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're we're in terrible species right.
• 43:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's, it's scary out there.
• 44:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: Which brings me to my next topic with you because this was recent.
• 44:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: You did a TikTok from a male and a female perspective.
• 44:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I loved it.
• 44:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're like, excuse the shitty acting.
• 44:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, I love this.
• 44:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you did two perspectives of like you owned a dating agency.
• 44:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then you were interviewing a guy asking what he wanted, you know, what he was looking for in a woman.
• 44:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then you did it as the agent interviewing a woman and what she wanted.
• 44:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I laughed at both of them so hard because it was, it's out there, but I'm like, actually, it's not.
• 44:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I know women that literally say the things that you were saying from a female's perspective of like, well, I want this, but not this.
• 44:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I want him to make a lot of money, but like, never work.
• 44:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 44:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like a drug dealer.
• 44:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I want him to have this size, you know, a package, but like not too much experience.
• 44:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: It was just, it was so funny.
• 44:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: And there was so much I could relate to those videos with the fitness industry and stuff, but our expectations and what people are looking for out there and what they're after.
• 45:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: It is so fucked up right now.
• 45:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: So fucked up.
• 45:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: Tell me about these reals.
• 45:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: Tell me about our TikToks and why you made them.
• 45:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, my thing is always like, there has to be, every time I do a video, I'm like, what could be a middle ground point for both people to understand this?
• 45:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: So where it doesn't sound like, I hate when guys attack women.
• 45:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, well, now you just, you're sounding fucking sassy.
• 45:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And when women attack guys, I'm like, well, they're feeling like this because of this.
• 45:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: We just don't understand each other.
• 45:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I was like, yes.
• 45:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let me go ahead and reiterate some of the craziest things I've ever heard.
• 45:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like personally, and I hear with friends too, so I'm like, these are real people.
• 45:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're not like fake people.
• 45:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not just making this up and getting out of the narrow on either side.
• 45:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it was one of those things we're just figuring out or trying to make people realize like, okay, maybe I'm being a little crazy when I do ask for this, right?
• 45:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like it's the whole like, I want to grow that slutty in the bedroom, but a virgin.
• 45:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: right never slept with anybody and I wanted to be fucking twenty one and it's like these things don't it doesn't even match right so you're looking for this imperfect person and I also think that we have so much information online that confirms her on bias with things so if you feel like something is it's all about how you ask the question so if I ask you like what are the worst reasons to work in McDonald's
• 46:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: you would give me all the bad reasons, right?
• 46:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or you Google it and it'll tell you every bad reason.
• 46:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or if you Google what's the best reason to work in McDonald's, it would give you all the good reasons.
• 46:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: So everything that we all the information we retain online and majority of it is kind of this biased information depending on what you're asking.
• 46:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like it falls along the data.
• 46:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: If I don't settle, if he or she can't do this and if she's not this, then you need to leave.
• 46:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, okay, whatever happened to compromise.
• 46:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 46:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever happened to, this is my partner.
• 46:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's work this out.
• 46:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's get to a better stage.
• 46:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's figure these things out together and build because that's what people do.
• 46:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's just more so like, well, if it's not the finish line, I don't want it.
• 46:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like nobody's at the finish line yet.
• 46:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: No man is no woman.
• 46:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like a man may have a shift on a money, but he's lacked.
• 47:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: complete emotional fucking maturity.
• 47:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: He hasn't grown in that department.
• 47:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's at power complex, right?
• 47:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Where it's the money speaks for my emotion.
• 47:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, there's so many different things to where it's like, we have to figure this out and I love you so much that we're going to do it together.
• 47:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's the point of a relationship.
• 47:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 47:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's a healthy relationship to me.
• 47:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 47:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that beginning stage right now is so messed up because we can just swipe and everyone just thinks like, I mean, that seems great, but what else is out there?
• 47:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, yes.
• 47:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I next, you know, and yes, there are thousands of millions of people out there and choices and their other fish and the sea for sure, but like no one's stopping to like you said, take the time to like learn and compromise and figure that out.
• 47:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that's that's such a problem.
• 47:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: I talked about this with my guy friends.
• 47:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know the female perspective, so maybe you can give me that one to like my guy friends.
• 47:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, we always think like whatever your insecurity is as a man, right?
• 48:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: So we're like all relatively early, thirties and have friends that are older, but everything is like the next door.
• 48:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like what's behind this next door?
• 48:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, let's say you make, you know, let's say you're, you're a twenty eight year old and you're making seventy five thousand a year and then you go on and you make, you're like, well, what's a hundred thousand dollars that you're going to bring me?
• 48:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then you're like, well, this will bring pretty your women and this will bring more women because then I'll be able to afford this and I can do this.
• 48:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then you're thinking like, um, like, with TikTok like my friends always ask me, it's like, is it easy?
• 48:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, well, if you keep thinking that way, it's going to be like, well, if this is what it's like, a half a million followers, what's it going to be like at a million?
• 48:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I then I can have whoever I want, and then you're gonna keep chasing this dragon.
• 48:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like again, is it money?
• 48:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is it status?
• 48:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is it whatever?
• 48:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're just gonna be, if you're chasing this, you're always gonna think, well, the next level's gotta be better.
• 48:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: The next level's gotta be better.
• 48:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Instead of just being like, what I have is great, and what's here is great, because what else is up there?
• 48:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's gonna be the same people.
• 48:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, you might see a little variation, but if you wanna get a person, that can be an any realm of those doors.
• 49:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: So again, that's, that's guys.
• 49:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what the female equivalent would be.
• 49:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what that is.
• 49:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, and for me, and the people that I know and associate with and age range and stuff, and in the dating world, this obviously doesn't apply to like Mary people, but you know, a lot of the women are like, what's behind the next door with the next man?
• 49:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: He's great, but like, I'm sure I can do better.
• 49:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, he makes good money and stuff.
• 49:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I know this girl is staying this guy that makes this much money.
• 49:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 49:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, or he drives this car or like, I don't know, like he's at this level with his job, but I know someone who's at this level with their job.
• 49:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 49:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like, really?
• 49:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's like what we're going off of now and like, why not stop and take the time to figure out and get to know him here, but everyone's like, oh, that's a red flag.
• 49:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, that's a red flag.
• 49:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: Move on.
• 49:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: Go to someone else.
• 49:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: Don't even waste your time.
• 49:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm like, well, that take a minute.
• 49:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 49:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Really got a check who's given you the advice a lot of the time.
• 49:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, exactly.
• 49:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you know, bring in this back.
• 50:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: Again, it's what I do health and fitness like people don't take the time to learn like if someone's a hundred and sixty pounds and they want to be in the one fifty's.
• 50:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, you need to literally learn how to be one fifty six.
• 50:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: you need to learn how to be a hundred and fifty pounds and then a hundred and forty eight pounds if your ultimate goal is to be one thirty and people don't take the time they don't realize that like every stage is like a new level and a new confidence and experience and then being in your body especially if you've been fat and overweight whole life or your whole adult life and stuff like people just don't want to take the time and I see it just spilling over into all these different areas of life
• 50:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we have no patience either.
• 50:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, again, like just for life and in fitness, it's like, okay, well, you can, like, I think there's beauty in adversity.
• 50:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think there's a lot of things where it's like, I really appreciate like one of the things that attracts me to like women is like, you, you can sit with yourself.
• 50:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: or you've gone through adversity and you've gone through these things where it's like, if you were a big girl and you did all this fucking work to get to this size, I think that's great.
• 51:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's extremely attractive because you could, and there's nothing wrong with these things.
• 51:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: But it's like, you can do the ozampic and you can do the whole thing where it's like fast tracks.
• 51:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I think there's something to be said about the people that are like, I'm just on this journey because you're changing your life.
• 51:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
• 51:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 51:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: And again, that's not just shame anybody that does those things because again, usually you're part of the health culture when that starts too.
• 51:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 51:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I think the growing pains or the shrinking pains, I guess if you're losing weight, or I had to go through all these awkward phases of myself.
• 51:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I had to learn that.
• 51:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, it's not just burning calories.
• 51:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's macros too.
• 51:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like now I want body composition to be like how my body is actually shaped.
• 51:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I want all these things.
• 51:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And there's so much work to go into that in that process.
• 51:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: You learn so much about yourself.
• 51:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you learned to really appreciate it more.
• 51:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like money.
• 51:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like anything.
• 51:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like if something's just handed to you, right?
• 51:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you could just drop all this weight in the day, you would give a shit.
• 51:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't care.
• 51:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're like fuck, I was in the gym every single day.
• 52:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: I missed so many activities.
• 52:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was fucking getting made fun of because I had my little fucking containers of my macros and it and I was and you got to this place in our buddies like, oh, you look fantastic.
• 52:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: You look amazing.
• 52:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 52:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, hell yeah, I fucking did this for two, three years.
• 52:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, you have no idea what I've been through.
• 52:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
• 52:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's just something for, that's just a life in general.
• 52:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like a lot of work I had to do on myself or to get to this place.
• 52:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's the issue I have with the finish line.
• 52:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, if you want everybody at the finish line, are you a person that's even on your way to your finish line?
• 52:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: You want somebody at their finish line, but you have to understand, like, are you making your way to your own finish line?
• 52:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or are you just grab off of their finish line?
• 52:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, I think you did another take talk about that, too.
• 52:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like I talked about talking every time.
• 52:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: You have, I've just been trying to take in like all the Jacob content later, too.
• 52:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, I'll be driving home from the gym and I'll pull up your page and I'm just like listening as I'm driving.
• 52:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: So like, prop, but I do that, you know, and I'm.
• 52:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 52:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: for episodes and stuff, but you're right.
• 52:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's insane too.
• 52:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: How many?
• 52:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because I always do like free discovery calls.
• 52:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'll let people have a very limited link.
• 53:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: They book a like a few minutes call and I get an idea where they're from.
• 53:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: I can't tell you how many people I've talked to lately that have had gastric bypass surgery or, you know, some type of whatever weight loss procedure surgery about six or seven years ago.
• 53:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: Everything's been like six or seven years ago and now it's coming back on and they don't know what to do.
• 53:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I just, I just want to be a dick and be like, dude, you cheated.
• 53:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, I can't say all those things, but I'm like, you cheated.
• 53:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: You took the fast track.
• 53:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: You got here.
• 53:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm like all over the place.
• 53:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: I love it.
• 53:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: Animated speaker.
• 53:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: You get tell.
• 53:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: But what are you doing?
• 53:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, like, no wonder you didn't do anything to change your identity.
• 53:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: You didn't do the work.
• 53:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I see this happening too with, you know, people think like they get divorced.
• 53:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then they're in the dating world.
• 53:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: And they're like, Oh, no, I left that marriage.
• 53:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm here.
• 53:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm good.
• 53:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then they find a shitty partner.
• 53:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, right out there.
• 53:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm like, you didn't do any work.
• 53:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: You didn't pause or they get out of one relationship and they jump it in the next.
• 53:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, when did you pause to learn what went wrong?
• 53:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: What did you think?
• 53:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: What did he do?
• 54:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Did you even process what the fuck happened?
• 54:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.
• 54:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or did you just take it as a break?
• 54:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like a lot of people love tumultuous breakups for that reason.
• 54:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, because you never, I don't think the hardest thing for me is right person long time.
• 54:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if you haven't ever had that word.
• 54:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, fucked up like fuck.
• 54:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: I really like this person and there's really nothing wrong with them.
• 54:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's just like this fucking time in my life.
• 54:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's so weird.
• 54:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: But tumultuous is so easy to leave.
• 54:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like this person's abusive or is emotionally abusive, you know, doesn't give me all these things.
• 54:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's very easy to fucking just kick rocks and get the fuck out of it.
• 54:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: It still hurts whatever for whatever reason.
• 54:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think when you leave something, you almost try to find every flaw in that person.
• 54:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's, I mean, that's the goal.
• 54:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's the whole, what is it if you point a finger it?
• 54:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you point a finger at somebody, there's three more pointing back at you.
• 54:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
• 54:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, yeah, it's like the whole gun narrative.
• 54:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like the three exactly.
• 54:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I got you.
• 54:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so it's this, it's very funny because we live in a world of, we get brought right back into yes people.
• 55:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 55:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, you're right.
• 55:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, your feelings are valid.
• 55:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe.
• 55:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: But now, okay, so easy to process that we were right.
• 55:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, now it's time for the other side of like where did I fuck up?
• 55:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Where could I have done better?
• 55:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Did I fuck up at all?
• 55:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like it's taking up.
• 55:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's the part that people miss out on.
• 55:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: The other half is great.
• 55:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 55:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Talking shit about people is extremely easy.
• 55:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: So easy.
• 55:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's the reason right there.
• 55:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: Uh-huh.
• 55:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: Uh-huh.
• 55:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: Can we dive in a little bit to the masculine role?
• 55:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: Again, you may another TikTok.
• 55:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: You just brought so many good points through your recent TikToks for me to talk about on here.
• 55:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I think a lot of people will appreciate this.
• 55:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: A lot of our male listeners and female listeners, I think it'll help them.
• 55:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: You had made one recently and you were talking about you realized how much women don't want to think.
• 55:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: and like taking charge and you're like, why do you think they go have a girl's night and they do a craft because women don't want to think and I thought that just brought up such a good point and maybe you can elaborate on that a little bit more because this will help both sexes listening to this and
• 56:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: I agree that I don't think men realize this as much as that like women.
• 56:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: We need to be the boss with so many things like with kids in the household and our jobs, you know, many of us like working and do all of that.
• 56:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: And when it comes time to be in a relationship stuff like I'm not going to lie.
• 56:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: I want to be a baby.
• 56:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: I want to just be a princess pillow princess and like not have to think and it is so you were just so spot on with that.
• 56:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: And if a guy can just be like, hey, be ready where this, you know, we're going here and some women might fight you on that, but that perspective of that particular TikTok, I was like, yes, protect this man at all costs.
• 56:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: I made it into that.
• 56:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a fun.
• 56:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
• 56:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a fine dance.
• 56:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I think to elaborate to get deeper on that one, for anybody that's going to take that advice, there's so many different variables and there's so many different people.
• 56:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if one is understanding your partner and it's kind of getting your grasp on that, like off the bat and you can't just be like fucking be here at seven thirty.
• 57:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't be late or like you can't do it that way.
• 57:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm so glad you're saying that.
• 57:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because I think a lot of guys get the advice.
• 57:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: And again, I always guilty of this, too.
• 57:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, oh, you just tell them what the fuck to do all the time.
• 57:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, think more leadership as opposed to boss speed.
• 57:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: You kind of want to be a tour guide.
• 57:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: You want to be gentle, but we got to go here.
• 57:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, because we want to be a baby like you're going to get a lot of baby.
• 57:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
• 57:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: But then there's this, okay, you have to be, you have to take feelings into consideration like you're not in a power, like you're in a power position, but you're not in a power position where you're making her feel like she can't do anything.
• 57:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: You have to give her capability and you have to, you know, just be like, look, you don't think about this side of it.
• 57:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got this side of everything like just whatever the fuck it might be.
• 57:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I think diving into that is really knowing your partner and it takes a little time to do that.
• 57:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I think women for the most part give you very specific clues on the things you need to know.
• 58:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: When you first start talking, like this isn't something you grasping a day.
• 58:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: But we're going to be like, I like this.
• 58:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I like this place.
• 58:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can eat this all the time.
• 58:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love going here.
• 58:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: These are my favorite activities.
• 58:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Shop that shit down or take mental fucking notes and be like, I know she likes this every time she's never going to be upset with this.
• 58:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now you can get your life and it's really easy.
• 58:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's not this.
• 58:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Men make it seem like it's these crazy executive decisions, but it's just day-to-day life of being like, cool, we're gonna go here this time.
• 58:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Reservations made, we're just gonna meet up.
• 58:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: I like, well, I'm gonna come pick you up, or if you guys are living together, we're just gonna go out this time.
• 58:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Be ready.
• 58:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is all situated.
• 58:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Playing off, playing fucking off.
• 58:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: The more you can get to that brain off feeling, is whatever it may be.
• 58:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we'll just melt.
• 58:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and then just, just be the eye, I got it, guys.
• 58:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, don't get taken advantage of, because there are, you know, there's certain people out there that'll take you to that.
• 58:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 58:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 58:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's just, hey, I'll handle that.
• 58:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't worry about that.
• 58:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 58:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'll make that call, because your stress is just going to be lingering, and I'm like, I got it.
• 59:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: That doesn't stress me out as much as you're doing with probably a hundred or fifty thousand things, and I got three things on my brain.
• 59:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 59:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, and that leads to like sex, you know, I mean, let's be real because sex is so mental for women, orgasms, sex intimacy, all of that.
• 59:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's so much in our head, not in our pants.
• 59:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I think this is an important point to bring up for both sexes to understand this, which people do, but I think we need to hear it more because the more her brain can shut off, the more open she's going to be to being turned on or sex later or like, you know, four play starts in the beginning of the day, not
• 59:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: Hey, let's go to the bedroom like the shit you did ten hours ago is what got her to there the dishes or the dishes.
• 59:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I think to that there's so many things that go through women's heads to because I know women it's always
• 59:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm okay and not say forward so you know the volume but I feel like women have a hard time finishing with men because there's so much thought process and sometimes it's not even the guys fault it's just like her being there how she feels about herself maybe insecurities other things she's thinking about all these things but you talk about masturbation and it's like oh it's easy to finish there because you don't have to think you're just with yourself there's no insecurity so it's like this double it's
• 1:00:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: It is complicated as a guy to be able to be like, I need to figure out how to make you feel as comfortable as you possibly can within your own skin and how you're doing things and it is a little bit of a learning curve like I think a too many videos very because it sounds like, yeah, I just do it all the time.
• 1:00:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, no, it's still takes it's a process.
• 1:00:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's her getting comfortable and you have to build up that rapport with her and figure out how what she's feeling like and how to get out of that space and feel comfortable with you.
• 1:00:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think the two minute video, I think a lot of guys took it as like, oh, you need to do that fucking in five minutes of my month of process.
• 1:00:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's a whole process.
• 1:00:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, no, you're right.
• 1:00:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I know a lot of women listening will appreciate you saying that about being able to finish and complete that it's like so it's so much in our heads and so many people struggle with that and people just don't talk about it.
• 1:01:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's I think like what I always tell my guy friends, I won't talk about it.
• 1:01:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, it would be like, oh, she didn't finish and I'm like, well, it's not if you go into sex as a man thinking like, I'm going to make her finish this hard because we have guy brain.
• 1:01:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: We think like, Oh, right.
• 1:01:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like this.
• 1:01:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, if you go into that, then you're going in with the task instead of just appreciate the motions.
• 1:01:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I have fun with it and be there through every single emotion.
• 1:01:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, give and receive and give and receive and do all these things together.
• 1:01:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And instead of just being like, she's going to come in ten seconds.
• 1:01:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, you'd be going with that mindset.
• 1:01:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you're just kind of, you're, again, trying to fast track it.
• 1:01:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:01:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like just deal with that.
• 1:01:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: My body and spirit not to sound lame, but it's like really just be there and like feel everything.
• 1:01:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's interesting to see the cuddling, the fucking, the whole body is your, your skin is your biggest sexual organ.
• 1:01:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: Mm-hmm.
• 1:01:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: And there's so much skin to explore.
• 1:01:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I think when that, it's just really good.
• 1:01:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's just an appreciation.
• 1:02:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think when women feel appreciated again, physically mentally, I think you get to those places faster.
• 1:02:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, when we feel worshiped and safe.
• 1:02:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, at which goes back to like, oh, he was in charge.
• 1:02:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, he took control in a loving way.
• 1:02:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: I feel safe.
• 1:02:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: He's made me feel safe the whole night.
• 1:02:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: The whole night started out feeling safe.
• 1:02:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: I feel safe in this space now.
• 1:02:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then we can let go.
• 1:02:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you don't want to be that pansy guy at the same time.
• 1:02:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're like, I'm choosing to put you on this pedestal right now.
• 1:02:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to give you this adoration.
• 1:02:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I think that's always fun too.
• 1:02:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think it should be fun for both sides.
• 1:02:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's part of the masculinity.
• 1:02:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:02:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, oh, for sure.
• 1:02:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just, I appreciate the open and honest conversation around this.
• 1:02:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know my listeners will too because it's, I'm always trying to like talk about the different topics that like, no one else is really doing this.
• 1:02:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: No one else is really bringing this out.
• 1:02:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I think that's one of the reasons why I was drawn to you because I was like, yeah, why is anyone else talking about this?
• 1:03:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: And this guy has the balls to say it.
• 1:03:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: Protect him at all costs.
• 1:03:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to try and say that as many times like I know.
• 1:03:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I'm going to get it, just we'll get to a shirt for taste of all costs.
• 1:03:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: We're starting a club.
• 1:03:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: We're getting jazz.
• 1:03:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to get security.
• 1:03:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's that.
• 1:03:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: All females secure.
• 1:03:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: Tell me about your podcast.
• 1:03:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: Tell me about this.
• 1:03:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: Might be toxic podcasts.
• 1:03:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: What did it start?
• 1:03:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: Why did it start?
• 1:03:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I started it with my friend Lexus Amanda.
• 1:03:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: So she's great.
• 1:03:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've known her.
• 1:03:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: So she was my best friend, sister.
• 1:03:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, and I used to know.
• 1:03:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've heard when we were kids, so she would come over to the house.
• 1:03:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: So we've known each other since we were like, twelve.
• 1:03:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: She probably like, thirteen.
• 1:03:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: No.
• 1:03:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's always the main question.
• 1:03:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: We ever slept together and fucking which says a lot about apparently co-workers like apparently just nobody has any co-workers that they can't sleep with.
• 1:03:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's the whole other podcast exactly exactly.
• 1:03:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: So she kind of lived this she got into music and she did very well in music and she did well in music industry and she grew that and you know I kind of did my own thing.
• 1:03:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: hadn't talked and forever and then I found out she was moving to Tennessee.
• 1:04:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: I had been doing tid talks and kind of trying to get my feet wet in the internet space.
• 1:04:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she was like, hey, I'm moving up there.
• 1:04:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, perfect.
• 1:04:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm all, hey, would you want to do a podcast?
• 1:04:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she's like, I've been thinking about that too.
• 1:04:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: She was just trying to do one.
• 1:04:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then one day, like when she finally got out here, we just sat down.
• 1:04:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: We liked the title.
• 1:04:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like we kind of came up with the title together.
• 1:04:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: And
• 1:04:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: The whole point of it was, I wanted to just be not so much relationship advice, just relationship talks.
• 1:04:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: We kind of wanted to take it more so into the, everybody is giving you how to find the right partner and the best person for you.
• 1:04:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're just talking about dumb shit that we all go through and
• 1:04:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: had to navigate that.
• 1:04:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then like we get into serious moments and stuff, but we wanted to keep it really light.
• 1:04:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it kind of transpired into that and I wanted a female perspective.
• 1:04:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I didn't sound like I was just man's playing a shit.
• 1:04:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 1:04:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I wanted to be able to argue as a man when she said something, well, dude, think like this.
• 1:04:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I wanted to have that good middle ground towards not an argument, just a conversation.
• 1:04:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
• 1:04:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Really fun.
• 1:04:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 1:05:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: Is it on all platforms like Spotify and Amazon, all that?
• 1:05:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: All platforms and, you know, I'm very, thank you to everybody that's watched that or even tuned into that.
• 1:05:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that's been a really cool.
• 1:05:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, yeah, good show.
• 1:05:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then this year, hopefully launching at your podcast called Zenish.
• 1:05:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, different solo, which is going to be new for me.
• 1:05:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's definitely hard.
• 1:05:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I want to have guests on there, but I want to be more periodically and it's just more, how do you not be a guru, but how do you grow in life and do all the correct things, but also have that fucking wild side to you.
• 1:05:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I don't want to be a bore.
• 1:05:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to be a monk.
• 1:05:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 1:05:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to be monk-esque, right?
• 1:05:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Zen-esque.
• 1:05:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: Zen-esque.
• 1:05:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Zen-esque, exactly.
• 1:05:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just Zen-esque.
• 1:05:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not fucking shutting crystals out of my hands here.
• 1:05:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just trying to figure out things and outs of life.
• 1:05:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I can.
• 1:05:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, I love it.
• 1:05:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: I love it.
• 1:05:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: And we're here to support that.
• 1:05:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm excited.
• 1:05:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think you're going to do an amazing job doing so low.
• 1:05:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 1:05:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're going to do really good.
• 1:05:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Jacob, I feel like we could talk for another four hours.
• 1:05:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely good.
• 1:06:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: We both have a life.
• 1:06:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: And we already took so long like getting this launch.
• 1:06:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Tell us we'll put everything in the show notes to how can people find you follow you give us give us the lowdown.
• 1:06:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Everything is that jiggly raw so Instagram to talk.
• 1:06:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Patreon is coming up soon.
• 1:06:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: So everything is going to be on that Jacob the Rosalnane, even the podcast.
• 1:06:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: So everything will be there.
• 1:06:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: YouTube this might be toxic also this might be toxic on all other platforms as well.
• 1:06:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then I'll be doing all the announcements on my Instagram for a second going forward.
• 1:06:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I hope so.
• 1:06:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you so much for coming on and just having like raw real conversation and laughs with me.
• 1:06:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think this was like absolutely perfect.
• 1:06:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think the audience is just going to love it.
• 1:06:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: You have been so fun to listen to and fill my drive times with and yeah, your lives are great and so half the time I'm like, oh shit, did he just really say that?
• 1:06:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh,
• 1:06:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: We get to those places.
• 1:06:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: We do get to those places.
• 1:06:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and then I'm just all reading the comments.
• 1:06:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, oh, he's still talking.
• 1:07:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: A common queen, we love it.
• 1:07:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, but yeah, this has been great.
• 1:07:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: I would love to have you back on maybe when you launch your next podcast, too, like we have come, have you come back on and just keep the conversation going and get some attention over there.
• 1:07:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, when I'm on Miami and have actual shit back, so.
• 1:07:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 1:07:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: We'll be able to do that for sure.
• 1:07:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: It'll be perfect.
• 1:07:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: It'll be perfect.
• 1:07:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you again.
• 1:07:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for we need to have you on this might be toxic, too.
• 1:07:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think that'd be fun.
• 1:07:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: I got a lot of relationships stuff to tell me.
• 1:07:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's schedule that.
• 1:07:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: We'll have a good time.
• 1:07:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:07:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: It'll be a good time.
• 1:07:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: All right, everyone.
• 1:07:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: Stay safe.
• 1:07:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: Stay healthy until next time.
• 1:07:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: The bottom-life podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.
• 1:07:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: The content shared here is not intended as medical, legal, or professional advice.
• 1:07:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: Always consult with a qualified professional before making any health fitness, financial, or legal decisions.
• 1:07:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: The opinions shared on this podcast are personal experiences and insight.
• 1:07:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: So if you need expert guidance, go find the right professional for you.
• 1:07:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: Thanks for listening.