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69: Monday Moment: The Energy We Spend Fighting What Is · Banish the Lies: Outsmart Your Inner Critic

• 0:00
  Hello, friends, and happy Monday to you.
• 0:04
  Today I wanna talk a little bit about acceptance and resistance, and the inspiration for this particular Monday moment is an injury to my ribs.
• 0:15
  Apparently, I have an intercostal sprain on the right side of my ribcage, which has exponentially increased my appreciation for core muscles, because I really had no idea how many things require your core until suddenly all of them hurt.
• 0:35
  Sneezing, coughing, sitting down, getting up, reaching for something, lifting something.
• 0:40
  Apparently, just about all aspects of functioning require your core.
• 0:44
  But as unpleasant as pain is, it can also be a pretty good doorway into seeing some of the beliefs and attitudes we hold about life.
• 0:57
  And what I've been noticing is how much I resist what is.
• 1:04
  There's a quote from Byron Katie that says,"When I argue with reality, I lose, but only 100% of the time." And apparently, I still like to test that theory, Because this injury has had me arguing with reality quite a bit.
• 1:22
  You see, the thing is, I like having plans.
• 1:26
  I like being able to execute my plans.
• 1:29
  You know, we have back to school things to do.
• 1:33
  There are errands, there's work, there are things around the house.
• 1:37
  And when something gets in the way of those plans, I get annoyed.
• 1:43
  But at some point in this rib injury journey, I realized I was spending an awful lot of energy fighting the fact that right now there are things I simply cannot do, and my resistance wasn't changing anything.
• 2:00
  It was of course, making me more miserable.
• 2:04
  Reframe the situation by asking new questions like,"Okay, given that this is what's happening right now, how do I wanna work with it instead of constantly fighting it?" And interestingly, that brought up a few new things.
• 2:21
  I'm learning how to move my body differently.
• 2:24
  I'm figuring out what actually needs to get done and what can wait, and I'm attempting to rest without mentally reminding myself over and over again of my to-do list, and I'm asking for help.
• 2:39
  In fact, last night I was making dinner, and I needed the olive oil from a lower cupboard, and I turned to ask my daughter to get it for me, and immediately I started explaining myself.
• 2:50
  I said something like,"Oh, I'm sorry.
• 2:52
  I know I'm, I'm standing right here, but it hurts when I bend down." And she looked at me and she said,"Mom, you don't have to explain this every time.
• 3:02
  I know you're in pain." So apparently I'm not great at asking for help, or at least not without trying to justify the need.
• 3:11
  So that's something I'm noticing, too.
• 3:15
  And it's really interesting when life forces you to slow down how many things you discover really don't need to get done, at least not immediately.
• 3:24
  The sky does not fall.
• 3:27
  Now, obviously, I'm not suggesting we should be grateful for pain or pretend difficult things aren't difficult.
• 3:35
  If there's something you can do to make a situation better, then by all means do it.
• 3:41
  But there are also times when reality is simply reality, at least for the time being.
• 3:49
  And maybe in those moments, instead of trying to figure out how to push through or somehow change the moment, it's more helpful to ask,"What can I do with what I have right now?" Or,"What can I let go of?" And,"Where could I allow someone to help me?" Because sometimes the thing exhausting us isn't only what we're going through, it's how hard we're fighting the fact that we're going through it.
• 4:19
  And those, my friends, are my thoughts from my sofa for this fine Monday morning.
• 4:25
  Have a great one