Latest / The Daily Sarcast / June 3rd, 2026: Russia's Attack, Bill Pulte And City Trivia

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June 3rd, 2026: Russia's Attack, Bill Pulte And City Trivia · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's sponsor is Strong Deodorant. You really need it in the summer.
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  Someone had a Bluetooth speaker and they named it a certain four-letter word,
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  so they have to inspect the whole aircraft, including the cargo area,
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  and the passengers have to evacuate.
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  United Airlines on turning a flight around from Newark to Mallorca one hour
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  into the flight because they were scared that there was actually a bomb when
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  the word bomb appeared on their Bluetooth when it was really just a speaker.
• 0:27
  Insert theme song here this is the daily sarcast i give you the news and maybe
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  a laugh i'm lindsey vernick and it's june 3rd 2026 hey guys i am doing a 12
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  hour day today so i need to get to work so we're gonna try to keep this as short and sweet as possible,
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  So, in real news, the Justice Department has officially pulled the plug on a
• 0:49
  proposed $1.8 billion fund for people who claim they were unfairly prosecuted.
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  Now, if you're wondering how unpopular this idea was, Democrats hated it,
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  and Republicans hated it, and everyone in Washington briefly experienced the
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  closest thing they've had to a shared hobby in years.
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  The plan was criticized as a potential slush fund for Trump allies and became
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  a political disaster that Senate Republicans wanted to kill before moving it
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  forward with other legislation.
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  But while the fund is gone, Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche said he's keeping
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  in place order that blocks certain existing IRS investigations into Trump,
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  his family, and his businesses.
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  How kind. So to recap, the giant controversial payout fund is out.
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  The tax investigation controversy is still in, and Washington has managed to
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  solve only half the problem.
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  It's like spilling an entire glass of red wine on a white couch and then proudly
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  announcing you've cleaned it up on one cushion.
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  The most shocking part of this story is that politicians from both parties looked
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  at the same idea and immediately agreed it was terrible.
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  So at this point, the level of bipartisan cooperation should probably qualify for federal funding.
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  Russia just launched one of its largest attacks on Ukraine this week,
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  flying hundreds of drones and dozens of missiles at Kiev and other cities,
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  killing at least 22 people.
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  What makes this attack different is that Russia spent more than a week publicly threatening it first.
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  Russian officials warned people to leave Kiev, promised they would get revenge,
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  and repeatedly hinted that a massive strike was coming.
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  And then they waited, and waited, and waited some more.
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  Imagine Imagine your boss spending eight straight days emailing the office that
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  a mandatory meeting is coming.
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  At some point, the meeting becomes less stressful than the anticipation.
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  Some families spent nights sleeping in subway stations, parking garages,
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  and shelters as air raid alarms went off.
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  By the time the attack finally happened, most people were just exhausted from
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  simply just waiting for it.
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  Analysis say the strategy wasn't just about missiles. It was psychological warfare.
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  The goal wasn't only to damage buildings. It was to wear people down mentally.
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  Which is a pretty dark reminder that in modern warfare, sometimes the attack
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  starts long before anything actually explodes.
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  Also, if you're wondering whether the world is getting more advanced,
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  Russia reportedly used hypersonic missiles which civilians responded by sleeping
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  on yoga mats and subway stations.
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  So technology continues to be a very mixed bag.
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  Donald Trump has named Bill Polt as acting director of national intelligence
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  and if you're also wondering who Bill Polt is don't worry a surprising number
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  of senators had the exact same question.
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  So this guy Bill currently runs the Federal Housing Finance Agency and has no
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  background in intelligence,
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  national security, defense, or espionage, which is kind of like finding out
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  your dentist has been named head coach of the Knicks because he just seems like a good hang.
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  The director of national intelligence oversees America's intelligence agencies
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  and coordinates information from organizations like the CIA.
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  It's generally considered one of the country's most sensitive national security jobs.
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  And both parties have immediately questioned whether Polt has the experience of the role.
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  Even some Republicans were skeptical, which is never a great sign.
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  To be fair, Polt does have experience in managing housing finance and mortgage agencies.
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  So if a foreign spy tries to refinance a condo, we're absolutely covered.
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  This is temporary, though, allowing him to avoid a Senate confirmation hearing for now,
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  which means our country has once again entered one of its most favorite modern traditions,
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  finding out someone got a very important job and
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  then immediately googling them at this point
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  washington feels like a corporate retreat where people keep getting
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  promoted into departments they accidentally wandered into in lindsay life yesterday
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  i was really upset about something and the one person who i know will always
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  cheer me up is my dad so i called him super sad and i was just like oh i know
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  he's gonna make me feel so much better about this thing and for the first time,
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  I literally can remember my entire life.
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  He told me that he had a really, really shitty day and is having a hard time doing that.
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  However, he did end up making me feel better in a different way,
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  but he still made me feel better, of course. Love you, Dad.
• 5:20
  Things I'm thinking about. How I found out yesterday that Tribeca stands for
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  the triangle below canal.
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  Noho is north of Houston.
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  Soho is south of Houston. And Dumbo is down under Manhattan below the overpass.
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  I always thought Tribeca was three Beckas and Dumbo was just named after the movie.
• 5:46
  Cooking tip of the day. If you don't cook, you don't have to clean.
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  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish by looking for a date,
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  email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com. Thanks so much for listening.
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  Talk to you guys tomorrow.