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The "Sex Is Different" Lie: Separate Rules Hurt Your Marriage · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for July 31st, 2026 The sex is different lie.
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  Separate rules hurt your marriage.
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  Have you ever treated your spouse badly because they didn't give you the response you desired in bed?
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  Do you think your spouse has ever done this to you?
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  The hardcore versions of this are only being nice after you get sex,
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  or only saying yes to sex when you want something.
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  Usually, it's more subtle. But if it keeps happening, the other spouse figures it out.
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  Rather than kicking around various ways this plays out I want to deal with an
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  issue that can be part of this It's called sex is different Sex is different
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  and the rules that apply to the rest of the married relationship do not apply
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  to sex Sex gets its own set of rules.
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  The spouse who's less interested in sex doesn't want to feel obligated to have
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  sex unless they want it They feel they should have the right to veto sex for
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  any reason And the idea of being sexually generous is borderline abusive,
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  The reasoning is that sex is so intimate and personal It's unfair to treat it
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  like every other aspect of marriage.
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  The spouse who's more interested in sex Feels sex should happen regardless of
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  what is happening in the relationship,
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  They feel being at odds with each other Or having treated their spouse poorly
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  Should not justify saying no to sex Sex is not part of the relationship It's
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  a whole different thing The reasoning is sex is so important It's wrong to say
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  no for relationship issues,
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  I think both of these are wrong And unbiblical go.
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  The Bible is clear that we are to be sexual. Aside from medical or other life-happens
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  reasons, it gives one valid reason for not having sex, and that one is to be by mutual consent.
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  On the other hand, the Bible does not make anyone a sexual slave,
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  and it does not give a spouse the right to demand sex.
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  If you have hurt your spouse or ignored them, they're not wanting to have sex
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  is reasonable. It's not retaliation, it's emotional self-protection.
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  What's more, forcing yourself to have sex in such a situation can cause additional
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  hurt and can make the person stop wanting to have sex at all.
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  If you think sex is different, I suggest you spend some time thinking and praying
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  about that. Are you making excuses or justifying something?
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  Is what you think fair to your spouse? Does it favor love, generosity, and godly behavior?
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  This is Paul reminding you that doing sex well looks different for every couple.