Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Gratitude Unlocked 3/7: Win From Your Lane — The Gratitude Move That Kills Comparison #WinItAllWednesday

Transcript

Gratitude Unlocked 3/7: Win From Your Lane — The Gratitude Move That Kills Comparison #WinItAllWednesday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay now, you're back, and it's Win It All Wednesday.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's not hump day.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Hump day is for regular people.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: You are listening to the sweet spot.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're a sweet spotter.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: So for you, this isn't hump day.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: This is Win It All Wednesday, my friend, and welcome back.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get it.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you can tell that I had some coffee this morning.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm delighted to be here.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a board certified psychiatrist.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I work in high performance.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: But more than that, I'm a fellow traveler with you on this journey we call life.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And we take every single day of the week and we find a theme and we run with it.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is Win It All Wednesday.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: We are doing a series here on gratitude.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: We're calling it Gratitude Unlocked.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: For most of this month, we've been deep in gratitude.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: This week we've been looking at a book.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: The book is called Thanks.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I read it so that you don't have to if you don't want to, and I'm summarizing it so that you can grasp some of the principles.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So this book is one of the most scientifically grounded, eloquent, and honestly eye-opening looks at how gratitude can transform your mind, your body, and your spirit, your energy, your relationships.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: They don't teach us enough about gratitude.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it's such a powerful thing.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: In this book, Dr.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Robert Emmons takes us through all of the benefits of gratitude.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yesterday, we talked about action, how gratitude helps you recognize the strengths, supports, and resources you're carrying with you so that you can move with confidence.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you're stressed out, you forget all that, you forget all the strength you have, you forget all the support that's really there, and you forget the resources you have, and you go into survival mode.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: God knows I've done it.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: But today we shift to something different.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Dr.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Robert Emmons in the book, he moves from uh taking us through gratitude and how it affects comparison to how gratitude can sharpen your competitive mindset without letting your ego or letting comparison again hijack the wheel.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: He points out one of his core ideas, which is that gratitude helps us want what we have instead of obsessing over what we lack.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is good stuff, so I'm gonna say that again.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Gratitude helps us want what we have instead of obsessing over what we lack.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever been in a situation where you are obsessing over what you don't have or what you lack and not even paying attention to what you have?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: I know I have, and I had to get out of that kind of stuff because it's not healthy.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: So that line from Dr.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Robert Emmons, gratitude helping us want what we have instead of obsessing what we lack, that is pure performance psychology.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because comparison, especially at high levels, can destroy focus faster than fatigue.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: It can drain confidence.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen it, it breeds insecurity, comparison, it sends your attention everywhere except the lane you should be running in.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's the danger of comparison.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think they say it's the thief that stole joy.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Comparison.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what flips comparison on its back?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say something else, but you know, I gotta keep this clean.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is not the locker room.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know what flips uh uh comparison on its back?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Gratitude.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Gratitude flips comparison, it grounds you in your lane, it grounds you back to your skills, your talents, your blessing, your progress, your identity.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: It puts it back on you.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Let's break down how, right?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: So gratitude doesn't tell you to stop competing, it just gives you a cleaner mental starting point.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of looking outward and asking, what do they have that I don't?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Gratitude makes you look inward and ask, what do I really have that gives me an edge?
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: What's my thing?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's a recalibration, my friend.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: It takes you from envy to ability, from scarcity thinking to strength thinking, from comparison to clarity about what you are and who you are, and whose you are.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Let's let's let's okay.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Let me break it down with an example.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: A wide receiver, he sees another guy getting touches without gratitude.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Comparison steps in, he spirals, his frustration rises, his confidence drops.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: With gratitude, he shifts back to his own weapons and he tells himself something like my first step is explosive, my roots were sharp or weak.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: I have got chemistry with my quarterback, I know this defense, I've got skills, I've got this.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Just by saying those things, gratitude brings him back to his lane instead of looking at other people doing well.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, his lane is the only place he can win from.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: He can't win from somebody else's lane.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: You can't drive in somebody else's lane.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can't win in their lane.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta be in your lane, and that's what gratitude brings back to you.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: So you have a small meal on the table, somebody has a lot more on their table.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know what gratitude does?
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: It can turn your meal into a feast because you're so thankful.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: A CEO sees a rival company surging, doing better, getting more money without gratitude.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: That CEO becomes insecure, pressured, panic, making everybody miserable around them.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: But if they had gratitude, if they only had gratitude, they would say something like, you know what?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: I have a loyal team with me, I've got strong data, I've got deep experience, this is just where we are right now.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: We're built for a long-term win, and we're gonna get this.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Just that shift.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Gratitude reconnects the CEO to their foundation, not to the competitors' foundation, your foundation.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you feel stretched today, maybe you feel thin, maybe you're feeling burnt out, everything feels like a failure.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's because your gratitude is not kicked up enough.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: When you have gratitude, you say to yourself, I have resilience, I have power, I have love.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Greater is that which is in me than whatever's in the world.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: I've got faith.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing by any means is gonna harm me.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna get this done.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's gratitude showing that you're not failing, that you have grace in you, and you have the power.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm talking about.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's how you become powerful through gratitude.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Gratitude recalibrates your reward system, it helps you value your progress, it makes you not think about all the terrible things that are happening, but what can still work?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: It changes your brain's reward system.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Dopamine circuits in the brain begin to secrete the reward chemical, and you begin to feel more motivated.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Gratitude is a great motivator.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: So here's your line from Kendrick Lamar.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Be grateful for what you've got.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: You can always get more.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's what Emmons was talking about.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's what the neuroscience is talking about.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's the performance truth.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Gratitude doesn't stop you from from having ambition for going for what you want.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: It stabilizes you.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: So before you go out there in the world today, this is Take Action Tuesday.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Before you go out to handle the field, the ice, the pitch, the boardroom meeting, uh to the club, uh, maybe you're doing something with the community, whatever it is that you do, pause and ask yourself, what do I have today that makes me a winner?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is Win It All Wednesday.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: One skill, one strength, one advantage.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Name it, and compete from that place.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, you're fearfully and wonderfully made.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're powerful, you've come through many dangers, toils, and sember, things came against you and somehow you're still standing strong.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the affirmation.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm competing with gratitude.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm winning with gratitude.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Today I face any obstacle, any opposition, any challenge with gratitude.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: I will be steady, I will be focused, I'll be locked in my lane, and in my lane is gratitude.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, thank you for listening to Win It All Wednesday here on the sweet spot as we unpack and unlock gratitude.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow is Trust Yourself Thursday, and we'll be digging into how gratitude increases resilience, how it helps you recover from mistakes faster, how it can interrupt negative loops and rewire how your brain stores the difficult moment.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And we bring some science behind that stuff too.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, now if this helped you, I want you to share it with somebody else.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just keep it for yourself.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Share it and let's get this world where it needs to be.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet, and you've been listening to The Sweet Spot.