Latest / WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas / 142: How to have difficult conversations & ask for a promotion (Replay talk for Kroger)

Transcript

142: How to have difficult conversations & ask for a promotion (Replay talk for Kroger) · WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas

0:00
SPEAKER_06: Don't you love having difficult conversations?
0:03
SPEAKER_06: Said no one ever, except I have this weird thing where I actually enjoy when a difficult conversation is about to happen because I could test my limits and leadership.
0:17
SPEAKER_06: So I just did a keynote for Kroger.
0:20
SPEAKER_06: I did a talk to about 80 plus store managers, assistant store managers from Ralph's and Food for Less.
0:28
SPEAKER_06: And instead of me telling you how great it is, let me just show you what people had to say.
0:36
SPEAKER_06: And then after they talk, we're gonna start on my keynote and the panel discussion.
0:41
SPEAKER_06: And by the end, we actually give you specific strategies on how you could move out and ask for grab your coffee, tea, which of your choice, and let's drop the video.
1:07
SPEAKER_06: Alright, we just came out of a keynote I just did.
1:12
SPEAKER_06: So and we did a panel together too after my keynote.
1:14
SPEAKER_06: So can you share with the people who you are, what you do?
1:18
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
1:18
SPEAKER_04: Hi everyone.
1:19
SPEAKER_04: My name is Holly Taylor, and I work for Food for Less Division.
1:22
SPEAKER_04: I'm the assistant uh HR leader for Food for Less.
1:26
SPEAKER_04: And the keynote was amazing.
1:28
SPEAKER_04: You did such a great job, Elaine.
1:30
SPEAKER_04: I love how you I you haven't even asked me questions yet, but what we talked about, who was in the room.
1:36
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
1:37
SPEAKER_04: So we had about 80 attendees.
1:39
SPEAKER_04: We had store leaders and assistant store leaders, and really what we wanted out of this keynote is to bring real life experiences that resonated with our leaders of our organization to help help upscale them.
1:50
SPEAKER_04: We know that they're super important, but it's been a long time since we actually brought them in for a meeting to tell them and show them or give them skills of relatable skills that they can actually use in their in their business to really help drive the outcomes of their store.
2:06
SPEAKER_04: So it was great.
2:07
SPEAKER_04: So we had over 80 attendees, and Elaine did such a fantastic job really sharing with them some different techniques, and her multi skills were super energetic as well.
2:18
SPEAKER_04: And I did not.
2:20
SPEAKER_04: I mean, Holly for the record.
2:22
SPEAKER_04: She did not, she did not, but she was amazing.
2:25
SPEAKER_04: And I loved how you just provided real life scenarios.
2:28
SPEAKER_04: You actually took the information that you and I connected on and said, hey, what are some things, some fundamental skills that our store leaders should want or want to learn and made it so realistic and things that they can actually do every day in their stores, whether it was the coaching conversations, how to deal with difficult conversations, how to create that sponsorship within your business.
2:50
SPEAKER_04: So I loved how you just kind of connected all those components together naturally for us.
2:54
SPEAKER_04: Hi Claudia.
2:55
SPEAKER_05: Hello.
2:55
SPEAKER_05: Who are you?
2:56
SPEAKER_05: Can you can you let the people know?
2:57
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, my name is Claudia Liu.
2:59
SPEAKER_05: I work for Food for Les and I'm a HR leader for District 26.
3:04
SPEAKER_05: How do you know me?
3:05
SPEAKER_05: What have I helped to coach you with and where did we come out of?
3:08
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so I made you in one of the next op events and Adolfie boat on Hermosa Beach like two months ago, I believe.
3:16
SPEAKER_05: And um the reason why we picked you was because I don't know, I told you already that your name kind of like popped on my brain when I saw your picture.
3:24
SPEAKER_05: And I wanted to um be more involved about critical conversations because of my new role, and I wanted to feel more confident when I was talking to the public and get their attention because that was my major things that sometimes I would feel like I would talk to them and they were not really listening to me.
3:42
SPEAKER_05: I wanted to be listened, just like I listened to them, and yeah, you helped me out with that and to have um a critical conversation that I never thought that I was able to, and I actually did it in all for your tips on um I watch on YouTube, uh-huh.
4:00
SPEAKER_05: And then I was listening, you know, your um you kind of giving points of how to have this conversation just like you give it to us today.
4:08
SPEAKER_06: And so we were at the boat, we were doing one-to-one coaching, and now you got to experience me as a speaker.
4:13
SPEAKER_06: You've seen other speakers.
4:15
SPEAKER_06: What have you liked about my speaking style and what you learned?
4:18
SPEAKER_05: Um well, the number one thing is you're super funny, and you actually like deliver the message with um uh with passion and direct.
4:28
SPEAKER_05: So I told you earlier that I just have a message for one of my spears, and um, you were one of the best speakers for her um because the way that you actually related the message to us as a um food for less organization.
4:41
SPEAKER_06: Maria, you also came from it.
4:44
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
4:44
SPEAKER_06: So you experienced my coaching and my speaking.
4:47
SPEAKER_06: What do you want to share about your experience?
4:50
SPEAKER_01: I just want to share that um now listening to you as a speaker with an audience, a bigger audience, the way you're transparent.
4:58
SPEAKER_01: Um I think everyone was related to you, uh relating to you because it's those are things that happen to everyone every day.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: In the grocery business, we go through a lot.
5:11
SPEAKER_01: Every day is a different experience, and I think everyone was able to relate to your message, um, whether it was in the personal or work related.
5:19
SPEAKER_06: And what do you want to share about people who may want to hire me as a speaker?
5:23
SPEAKER_01: I think you should.
5:24
SPEAKER_01: Um we met you in the Duffy boat, and for sure you made an impact in our lives.
5:31
SPEAKER_01: I think till this day we talk about it, and I think that's one of the reasons Holly asked Claudia to bring you.
5:38
SPEAKER_01: And a lot of people knew knew you were coming because of us, and they were waiting for your Oh, you told people ahead of time?
5:46
SPEAKER_06: What did you say?
5:47
SPEAKER_01: We were like, hey, we we made Elaine and she made an impact, and people actually came just to listen to your speech and they waited until the end.
5:59
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
6:00
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
6:02
SPEAKER_01: What made it so relatable to you?
6:05
SPEAKER_01: I think the fact that um we all start from the bottom.
6:09
SPEAKER_01: Um a lot of us come from immigrant parents, and you know, it's sometimes it's hard to move up because of the fears, the you know, the challenges, but um you made it, you've opened it, I guess, not the doors, but you know, you made it easier for us to help overcome those.
6:30
SPEAKER_01: So I think I think that's what helped.
6:34
SPEAKER_05: Alright, alright.
6:35
SPEAKER_05: Did everybody have a good lunch?
6:38
SPEAKER_05: Yes, alright.
6:40
SPEAKER_05: So we are ready for our next speaker, and I'm blessed to present her.
6:46
SPEAKER_05: And I'm gonna read it because I also don't want to mess it up because it's very important to me.
6:51
SPEAKER_05: And this is how it goes.
6:52
SPEAKER_05: It is truly an honor for me to introduce someone who has made a meaningful impact on my life.
6:59
SPEAKER_05: Elaine Cartas.
7:06
SPEAKER_05: I first met Elaine and the Toffee Boat during a next up event, and at the time I never imagined that meeting her would have such an impact on me.
7:15
SPEAKER_05: Through her presence, encouragement, and the way she communicates with people, Elaine inspired me to believe more in myself.
7:23
SPEAKER_05: One of the things I admire the most about Elaine is her ability to speak with confidence, connect with people, and capture their attention.
7:31
SPEAKER_05: Watching her help me realize that speaking in public isn't just about having the right words.
7:36
SPEAKER_05: And look at me now, right?
7:38
SPEAKER_05: Woo! It's about believing, it's about believing in what you have to say and having the confidence to share your voice.
7:48
SPEAKER_05: Because of Elaine, I have challenged myself to step outside of my comfort zone, speak with with more confidence, and not to be afraid to let my personality and passion come through when I'm in front of people like you guys.
8:01
SPEAKER_05: Thank you so much.
8:02
SPEAKER_05: So, Elaine, thank you for inspiring me to believe in myself and reminding me that my voice matters.
8:10
SPEAKER_05: Everyone, please join me in welcoming an incredible and inspiring person, Elaine Cartes.
8:20
SPEAKER_06: Sorry, you guys, um, there is no budget for Bad Bunny.
8:24
SPEAKER_06: So you have Timu.
8:25
SPEAKER_06: Bad Bunny.
8:28
SPEAKER_06: So, yes, this is a picture of me, not AI.
8:32
SPEAKER_06: In a row, don't worry, I was covered in clothes under that.
8:35
SPEAKER_06: But we're gonna be talking about communicating with clarity, confidence, and um, but I'm curious, how many of you make this face when someone says something like, what is?
8:45
SPEAKER_06: I know.
8:48
SPEAKER_06: Um, I just want to share a story.
8:50
SPEAKER_06: One of my former bosses, she she had a strong RBF at meetings.
8:56
SPEAKER_06: And so we strategically, I sat across the room, and when she would make the face, I would text her, fix your face.
9:06
SPEAKER_06: So, to what all of you are talking about in terms of holding yourself accountable, if there's something that you need to work on, maybe you do have a strong RBF, or maybe you say like a lot, or maybe you have a hard time staying calm.
9:20
SPEAKER_06: The person that you feel close and safe enough asks them, hey, I want to get your feedback, or I want you to call me in, not call me out.
9:27
SPEAKER_06: Call me in when you see me making an RBF.
9:30
SPEAKER_06: Call me in when my tone is raised, because things are so automatic.
9:34
SPEAKER_06: I know Heather was doing such a great job talking about triggers, but don't worry, I'm not gonna ask you your age.
9:41
SPEAKER_06: But we have lived our life for decades where we're used to communicating a certain way.
9:46
SPEAKER_06: So when you're learning all these things, it's unlearning decades of that.
9:51
SPEAKER_06: So give yourself grace.
9:52
SPEAKER_06: I know you're not Amazon Prime day one or two.
9:55
SPEAKER_06: It takes time to practice.
9:57
SPEAKER_06: Okay, I have a controversial question.
10:00
SPEAKER_06: Who is your team during the World Cup?
10:02
SPEAKER_06: Yell it out.
10:05
SPEAKER_06: I hear no Argentina, no?
10:09
SPEAKER_06: I was just curious.
10:10
SPEAKER_06: And I know this is a work event, but what sport did you play or played?
10:15
SPEAKER_07: Soccer.
10:16
SPEAKER_06: Soccer, football?
10:17
SPEAKER_06: Baseball, baseball, football, baseball, okay.
10:20
SPEAKER_06: Um, where is Mike?
10:22
SPEAKER_06: Here.
10:23
SPEAKER_06: The Dodger's hat is right here.
10:26
SPEAKER_06: He wants a Padres he said.
10:28
SPEAKER_06: Well, he should have brought his hat.
10:30
SPEAKER_06: That's not my fault.
10:31
SPEAKER_06: That is feedback for you if you're willing to receive it.
10:36
SPEAKER_06: And then I got Lakers, which is so funny.
10:38
SPEAKER_06: Heather and I have known each other for how long?
10:40
SPEAKER_06: How many years?
10:41
unknown: Many years.
10:42
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, ten years maybe?
10:43
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
10:44
SPEAKER_06: So we've known each other for a while, and I didn't.
10:46
SPEAKER_06: I should have done a better job in connecting with Heather to ask what her presentation was.
10:51
SPEAKER_06: And then Holly was sharing with me, actually, we're talking about the Lakers and breathing.
10:54
SPEAKER_06: I was like, perfect.
10:56
SPEAKER_06: Right?
10:56
SPEAKER_06: And so that's even helpful information to receive.
10:59
SPEAKER_06: Hey, what was that meeting that happened last week?
11:01
SPEAKER_06: How did that go?
11:02
SPEAKER_06: How did this person receive it?
11:03
SPEAKER_06: What did they learn?
11:04
SPEAKER_06: What's something that I could add that might be different?
11:06
SPEAKER_06: So, what I played, what you might be surprised in, I did Muay Thai, so Thai kickboxing for 21 years.
11:12
SPEAKER_06: So if you want to try to take me, you cannot.
11:16
SPEAKER_06: Okay.
11:17
SPEAKER_06: But the reason why I bring up sports, which Heather did earlier, right?
11:21
SPEAKER_06: It's usually when you see fighters that are doing jobs because they're testing you out.
11:25
SPEAKER_06: And so often we think being great leaders talking a lot.
11:28
SPEAKER_06: So fighting, like throwing things.
11:30
SPEAKER_06: Yes, I do knees and kicks too.
11:32
SPEAKER_06: But the reality is, is you'll see some fighters where they're doing jobs and they're just observing.
11:36
SPEAKER_06: Okay, so they keep doing jobs, but they have an opening, and I could do an uppercut and I could do a hook.
11:40
SPEAKER_06: I'm not there's HR here, I'm not saying you beat up your colleagues.
11:44
SPEAKER_06: That is not what I'm saying.
11:46
SPEAKER_06: But what I'm saying is understanding how the other person communicates and just take note of it.
11:54
SPEAKER_06: So, communicating, we've heard this all over.
11:57
SPEAKER_06: Being curious, being an observer, and that's what I often do when I'm a fighter.
12:01
SPEAKER_06: I have my leg like this because sometimes I get kicks, so I need to be ready to protect myself.
12:06
SPEAKER_06: And data.
12:08
SPEAKER_06: We always make decisions based off of real till space and numbers, but what people forget is data is also communication and other people.
12:20
SPEAKER_06: So, how do you make the invisible work visible?
12:23
SPEAKER_06: So, focusing on what's in your control versus out of your control.
12:27
SPEAKER_06: Y'all talk about Kobe and Shaq.
12:29
SPEAKER_06: Y'all remembered they hated each other, right?
12:32
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
12:33
SPEAKER_06: And then we got to see Shaq cry, this big guy, when Kobe passed away.
12:38
SPEAKER_06: So, sorry, this slide's not working.
12:40
SPEAKER_03: I just need a second to Okay.
12:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
12:42
SPEAKER_06: We'll just stare at them winning back-to-back championships.
12:46
SPEAKER_06: Wait, are they Laker haters?
12:48
SPEAKER_06: Because there usually are, no?
12:50
SPEAKER_04: They won't raise their hand in this room.
12:53
SPEAKER_06: You come to me in the ring later, okay?
12:55
SPEAKER_06: Um, so I'll be your second Phil Jackson.
12:57
SPEAKER_06: Heather was your first.
12:59
SPEAKER_06: So my ask be present, not distracted.
13:02
SPEAKER_06: I know you got your phones, and it's like a little drug.
13:05
SPEAKER_06: I'm like, oh my god, Instagram, or I need to see this text message, or like who's playing later on?
13:11
SPEAKER_06: You never know who's in the room who can help you with your growth development or make your work easier.
13:19
SPEAKER_06: So, how to stand out, ask the great questions.
13:21
SPEAKER_06: What show is this?
13:23
SPEAKER_06: I'm curious.
13:25
SPEAKER_06: Yes, I'm an elder millennial, so there are gifts here.
13:27
SPEAKER_06: How many millennials are here?
13:30
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
13:30
SPEAKER_06: I'm gonna make sure you're not on your phone by putting gifts in here.
13:35
SPEAKER_06: And hey, make a list of people that you want to engage with.
13:38
SPEAKER_06: I know there's how many people are here today?
13:40
SPEAKER_06: Curious.
13:41
SPEAKER_06: Okay, 75 to 80.
13:42
SPEAKER_06: I know it might be hard to not be able to communicate with other people, but make a list.
13:46
SPEAKER_06: Oh, these are three to five people that I probably want to communicate after.
13:49
SPEAKER_06: And there's slides.
13:51
SPEAKER_06: So, Holly, I don't know if you have the flyers that we could pass out.
13:54
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
13:54
SPEAKER_06: But there's scripts and tactical.
13:56
SPEAKER_06: So during this presentation, I want to go deeper on words that you could use.
14:00
SPEAKER_06: And I say this because, well, I'll go through it later, but you could use these scripts.
14:05
SPEAKER_06: Hey, so good seeing you at the leadership event.
14:07
SPEAKER_06: What did you enjoy?
14:08
SPEAKER_06: Also, how are you?
14:09
SPEAKER_06: How are your kids?
14:11
SPEAKER_06: Um, would love to connect with you for 15 minutes.
14:13
SPEAKER_06: Just connecting with them.
14:15
SPEAKER_06: Okay, so get the slides.
14:17
SPEAKER_06: What movie is this?
14:18
SPEAKER_06: Ladies, you should yell it out.
14:21
SPEAKER_06: I am not Ryan Gosling, I'm sorry.
14:24
SPEAKER_06: But I'm curious, what do you want to learn further in this presentation?
14:28
SPEAKER_06: Because when it comes to speaking, and sure I might be a keynote speaker, but you're out there speaking, I also like gathering data in the present moment.
14:36
SPEAKER_06: So I'm curious, what's what are things that hasn't been covered that you want to learn deeper?
14:41
SPEAKER_06: Anyone want to yell it out?
14:42
SPEAKER_04: Elaine, how do you find the confidence to speak in front of the hospital?
14:47
SPEAKER_06: Um, thank you for asking.
14:50
SPEAKER_06: There's a slide later, but how many of you are children of immigrants, immigrants?
14:57
SPEAKER_06: I am a proud oldest daughter of a Filipino immigrant farmer.
15:02
SPEAKER_06: And I know that I have a privilege to be here because my parents and my grandparents did not have the same privilege that I do.
15:13
SPEAKER_06: So I think about them.
15:14
SPEAKER_06: And I understand in my Filipino culture, we're so emotional and reactive.
15:19
SPEAKER_06: I actually had my dad come to this presentation because I was like, you need to learn this yourself.
15:26
SPEAKER_06: Um, not just because he's a proud father, but you know, I remember asking my dad, I was in my mid-20s, um, I am not in my 20s, like I'm Asian don't raise in, so I'm older than that FYI.
15:39
SPEAKER_06: And thank you, Sephora, who is sponsoring the space.
15:44
SPEAKER_06: Um but I remember I was so frustrated at work and I wanted to ask for a raise, and I asked my dad, hey, how do you ask for a raise?
15:51
SPEAKER_06: Oh, just work hard, they're gonna give it to you.
15:54
SPEAKER_06: I was like, that's not how this country works.
15:57
SPEAKER_06: And then I had to learn from other mentors how do you ask for a raise?
16:01
SPEAKER_06: So we'll go through that more in detail.
16:03
SPEAKER_06: Thank you for jumping ahead, Holly, asking those questions.
16:07
SPEAKER_06: But I'm curious, anyone watched the latest Spider-Man?
16:10
SPEAKER_07: Yes.
16:11
SPEAKER_06: It was the best, right?
16:13
SPEAKER_07: So good.
16:14
SPEAKER_06: But I want to let you know you are not alone.
16:16
SPEAKER_06: So there is about half of you who took the survey because what I do when I do presentations, and not all of you are keynote speakers, I get it, but gather data.
16:27
SPEAKER_06: And I'm not saying you have to do surveys, but you could reflect at the end of the day, right?
16:31
SPEAKER_06: Kind of like an athlete.
16:32
SPEAKER_06: You know how is anyone into football?
16:35
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
16:36
SPEAKER_06: I heard the baritone voices.
16:38
SPEAKER_06: What's your team?
16:39
SPEAKER_03: No baritons, Raiders, patriots.
16:42
SPEAKER_06: I'm agnostic, I'm neutral, I don't got a team.
16:45
SPEAKER_06: Because you know, Lakers had the Raiders and then has the Rams and has chargers.
16:48
SPEAKER_06: I was like, Lakers, like, I mean Lakers, um, Olay, you need to figure out your team.
16:54
SPEAKER_06: But when it comes to sports, it's understanding your team members, right?
16:59
SPEAKER_06: And understanding how they communicate.
17:01
SPEAKER_06: As you know, football players, any athlete, they look at their iPad and they watch replays of what happened.
17:06
SPEAKER_06: How come I wasn't able to hit the goal?
17:07
SPEAKER_06: How come I was able to score?
17:09
SPEAKER_06: How many of you do that daily?
17:11
SPEAKER_06: Where you ask yourself, what was a great conversation I had?
17:16
SPEAKER_06: What was not a great conversation that didn't go well?
17:21
SPEAKER_06: And after that question, what could you have done differently?
17:25
SPEAKER_06: What was in your control that you could have done differently where this conversation could go better?
17:32
SPEAKER_06: Not a lot of people do that because that feels very uncomfortable.
17:35
SPEAKER_06: Hand raised, yes.
17:36
SPEAKER_08: I do that.
17:37
SPEAKER_08: You do that on my drive home.
17:40
SPEAKER_08: Go ahead.
17:41
SPEAKER_08: Um, no, I was saying that I reflect my day on my drive home.
17:45
SPEAKER_08: Uh conversations with uh department head store leaders, whether it was like, yeah, I really think they got it.
17:51
SPEAKER_08: Yes, they're they're they're gonna get after, you know, whether it's fresh production or standards or whatnot.
17:56
SPEAKER_08: And then I also think about, oh man, I don't think I made that person feel the best.
18:02
SPEAKER_08: Um, I don't think that the message was received as intended.
18:06
SPEAKER_08: Uh so yeah, I go through my day with my team and how I made them feel, and if it was good or bad, or do I need to learn something from it?
18:14
SPEAKER_08: Do I need to go back and you know do damage control?
18:18
SPEAKER_06: Thank you for sharing.
18:19
SPEAKER_06: And I want to share a story because it might be helpful.
18:22
SPEAKER_06: I remember talking to a colleague and she just she just gave me attitude, which was weird because she doesn't usually.
18:29
SPEAKER_06: And it was the end of the day.
18:31
SPEAKER_06: So be mindful, end of the day, people are in a bad mood.
18:33
SPEAKER_06: It does not mean that it's excusable.
18:36
SPEAKER_06: Just a reminder, okay?
18:38
SPEAKER_06: They're in a bad mood.
18:39
SPEAKER_06: Would I have been able to communicate with her at that time?
18:42
SPEAKER_06: No.
18:42
SPEAKER_06: She is like counting 45 minutes until 5 p.m.
18:45
SPEAKER_06: She does not want to talk to me, mindful of that.
18:48
SPEAKER_06: The next day, about 9 a.m., I go to her door and I'm like, hey, I just want to check in with you.
18:55
SPEAKER_06: I I noticed that you're frustrated.
18:57
SPEAKER_06: Was it something I said?
19:05
SPEAKER_06: I'm like, okay, but I'm so sorry to hear that.
19:07
SPEAKER_06: Like, I hope your mom's okay.
19:09
SPEAKER_06: I also want to let you know, if there's anything I say or do, I would love for you to give me feedback.
19:16
SPEAKER_06: What did you like with what I shared?
19:17
SPEAKER_06: Anyone want to yell it out?
19:19
SPEAKER_08: Kind of gave them feedback in a kind of roundabout way.
19:24
SPEAKER_06: Because she was vulnerable enough to tell me, she didn't have to, by the way, she was vulnerable enough to tell me that her mom was at the hospital.
19:33
SPEAKER_06: And my relationship with her really mattered, so I was like, hey, I want to continue giving me feedback.
19:38
SPEAKER_06: Feedback was talked about in the last panel.
19:40
SPEAKER_06: I didn't see the first presentation as much, but feedback is a gift, as you've heard.
19:45
SPEAKER_06: One of my bosses' mentors shared this with me.
19:47
SPEAKER_06: The moment, the moment people stop giving you feedback, they've given up on you.
19:54
SPEAKER_06: I'm gonna repeat that.
19:56
SPEAKER_06: The moment people have stopped giving you feedback, they've given up on you.
20:01
SPEAKER_06: Feedback is a gift.
20:03
SPEAKER_06: Mind you, you do not have to agree with all the feedback.
20:06
SPEAKER_06: I've had people tell me when I've practiced my keynotes, like, hey, don't punch.
20:10
SPEAKER_06: I was like, nah, I'm gonna show fighting moves because people do not expect that with someone that looks like this.
20:16
SPEAKER_06: I'm just being real.
20:17
SPEAKER_06: How can I grab all of your attention?
20:19
SPEAKER_06: So I'm not saying you have to agree, but just listening to it and taking it in.
20:23
SPEAKER_06: So difficult conversations is one, too.
20:27
SPEAKER_06: Who's this character?
20:28
SPEAKER_06: My favorite.
20:30
SPEAKER_06: Um, I know a lot of you have shared accountability holding your associates accountable.
20:34
SPEAKER_06: So you're probably like Elmo in the aisle.
20:37
SPEAKER_06: Did you do it yet?
20:41
SPEAKER_04: It's Ode.
20:44
SPEAKER_06: I see you laughing.
20:45
SPEAKER_06: Seems like some of you are like Elmo over here.
20:49
SPEAKER_06: Third is time management.
20:51
SPEAKER_06: What movie is this?
20:52
SPEAKER_06: Incredible.
20:54
SPEAKER_06: I should have dressed like her.
20:56
SPEAKER_06: Oh gosh, and Halloween's around the or around the corner.
20:59
SPEAKER_06: So time management as well.
21:00
SPEAKER_06: So who am I?
21:02
SPEAKER_06: Movie.
21:04
SPEAKER_06: Look, I know my crowd, millennials here.
21:06
SPEAKER_06: So as I said, oldest daughter of a Filipino immigrant farmer, my dad, who's to the left, and my grandma, his mom, they worked in the grapevines in Central California.
21:16
SPEAKER_06: So you don't need to share, but if you love wine, that's from my dad, you are welcome.
21:22
SPEAKER_06: And my first business, I was a former fundraiser, I raised nine million dollars in community college scholarships.
21:27
SPEAKER_06: So, 20,000 clients.
21:30
SPEAKER_06: I'm known for my client reviews.
21:32
SPEAKER_06: I'm known for being hilarious, I think.
21:34
SPEAKER_06: And then I have online courses with these colleges as well.
21:37
SPEAKER_06: But to be great in communication, it's like being an athlete.
21:40
SPEAKER_06: Practice with some place.
21:41
SPEAKER_06: So you'll receive the dashboard and scripts and then coaching with me and other peers.
21:45
SPEAKER_06: I'm gonna go through it real quick.
21:47
SPEAKER_06: Alright, let's get ready to.
21:50
SPEAKER_06: Yay! All right, this is my supply chain model when it comes to communication.
21:56
SPEAKER_06: So the first question in the middle of the heart is what is What makes you passionate about what you do?
22:02
SPEAKER_06: Who wants to share?
22:03
SPEAKER_08: Results.
22:05
SPEAKER_06: Results, what specifically, Jose?
22:07
SPEAKER_08: When you get more when you get praised by your leadership.
22:11
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I love words of affirmation.
22:14
SPEAKER_06: Okay, whoever works with Jose, can you like just give him a lot of compliments about the results that he's doing?
22:19
SPEAKER_06: Like, hey Jose, thank you so much for speaking up here.
22:28
SPEAKER_06: Anyone else want to share what they're passionate about?
22:31
SPEAKER_01: Watching the investment that you put in people grow.
22:33
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, watching investment.
22:35
SPEAKER_06: Um I feel like I've been working my whole life.
22:37
SPEAKER_06: Any any older childs here?
22:40
SPEAKER_06: I got two brothers, and um, for those of you that are immigrants or first immigrants, I felt like I was a parentified child because I had to help communicate my parents with my brothers, communicate with my brothers, and I was like, oh my god, they're growing up, except my brother.
22:54
SPEAKER_06: Okay, why is he doing that?
22:57
SPEAKER_06: Um I didn't share this, but I I have fond memories of Food for Less because when I was a kid and we'd go to the grocery shop, I was like those typical kids.
23:05
SPEAKER_06: I get to bag.
23:06
SPEAKER_06: I get to so pause is the first part.
23:11
SPEAKER_06: You got to learn a lot with this with Heather, but I want to share with all of you 90,000 hours of work is what you do in your lifetime.
23:21
SPEAKER_06: 90,000.
23:24
SPEAKER_06: Hey, I didn't create the rules, okay?
23:27
SPEAKER_06: You helped me figure out how we don't have to work.
23:31
SPEAKER_06: But 90,000 hours.
23:32
SPEAKER_06: The reason why I bring that up is because I know so often, and you know, as a child of immigrants, it's like, hey, just get the work done, you know.
23:41
SPEAKER_06: But it's more important on how you handle it and understanding your triggers as well as theirs.
23:48
SPEAKER_06: So I love this box.
23:51
SPEAKER_06: You're you were all learning about triggers, I know, in the first call.
23:54
SPEAKER_06: So there's fight.
23:56
SPEAKER_06: Um, love my dad, because he's probably gonna watch this later because he's a proud father.
24:01
SPEAKER_06: But growing, my dad did not like me as a teenager, so if there are dads out there, I'm sorry, I was probably one of your kids.
24:07
SPEAKER_06: But my dad would be like, you need to listen to me.
24:10
SPEAKER_06: Respect your elders.
24:12
SPEAKER_06: I'm like, Dad, I am listening to you, but didn't we move to this country so that I could be able to speak my voice?
24:18
SPEAKER_06: That was me as a teenager.
24:21
SPEAKER_06: But fight so often it's like, hey, you need to do this or that, right?
24:25
SPEAKER_06: Just constantly raising your voice.
24:28
SPEAKER_06: Also, I know it might be hard to believe for those people that you've worked with that has raised their voice or yelling, they don't know they're raising their voice or yelling.
24:39
SPEAKER_06: And so a little tip that you can do, because they're probably like this and you're probably traumatized, is say their first name over and over again.
24:47
SPEAKER_06: Elaine?
24:48
SPEAKER_06: Elaine?
24:49
SPEAKER_06: Elaine?
24:50
SPEAKER_06: Anyone have an idea why saying someone's first name first so they could stop talking and being overbearing works?
24:56
SPEAKER_06: Anyone want to guess?
24:58
SPEAKER_06: If I'm saying your name over and over again, you're like, oh my gosh, is my mom or dad calling me?
25:02
SPEAKER_06: You're kind of trained when you're younger to stop when you say the first name.
25:06
SPEAKER_06: Flight, you might be this, you might have worked with other people, you know, I just don't want to deal with this.
25:11
SPEAKER_06: People are yelling, I just don't want to deal with this.
25:13
SPEAKER_06: Or freeze, this might happen where someone is speaking to you, giving you feedback, and you just freeze, you don't know what to say.
25:22
SPEAKER_06: Even if maybe you agree with their feedback, but if you're in freeze mode, a little tip you could do is I just want to let you know I hear you, but I'm processing this.
25:32
SPEAKER_06: Fawn, a lot of women, including myself, are like this.
25:36
SPEAKER_06: I want everyone to be happy.
25:38
SPEAKER_06: Okay?
25:39
SPEAKER_06: So-and-so's not gonna do it, I'm going to do it.
25:42
SPEAKER_06: You want me to stay after?
25:43
SPEAKER_06: I'll stay after.
25:44
SPEAKER_06: Then you're driving home, you're like, WTF.
25:48
SPEAKER_06: Why did I just do any of that?
25:52
SPEAKER_06: So come from a place of curiosity over judgment.
25:56
SPEAKER_06: Um, I know there was brain pictures, but I want to show this picture here.
25:59
SPEAKER_06: So here we have the amygdala and hippocampus.
26:02
SPEAKER_06: You don't have to read it, I'm just gonna tell you what it is.
26:04
SPEAKER_06: The amygdala is the smoke detector.
26:06
SPEAKER_06: Oh, this person's yelling.
26:08
SPEAKER_06: This person reminds me of my crazy grandpa.
26:11
SPEAKER_06: Okay, I'm just gonna be quiet.
26:13
SPEAKER_06: The hippocampus is the librarian, it reminds you of all these past situations.
26:17
SPEAKER_06: Oh, I've asked three of my associates to do this, they've never done it, so I'm just gonna go back to doing it myself.
26:23
SPEAKER_06: The white part here is the animal side of our brain.
26:26
SPEAKER_06: The blue here, it's the prefrontal cortex.
26:29
SPEAKER_06: This allows you to think logically.
26:32
SPEAKER_06: So when you were learning how to breathe earlier, it's because as you can tell, the prefrontal cortex is here in your forehead, it's the farthest away.
26:40
SPEAKER_06: So when you're breathing, that's where you think logically.
26:44
SPEAKER_06: And you already learned about this one breath, one mind, or else you become my favorite Disney princess.
26:53
SPEAKER_06: Um, but I also want to share that I know there's so much negative talk when it comes to being anxious or fearful, but I grew up in Glassall Park.
27:04
SPEAKER_06: Anyone familiar with that neighborhood?
27:06
SPEAKER_06: It is gentrified now, but it was the hood back in the day.
27:10
SPEAKER_06: So I went to sleep hearing like gunshots all the time.
27:13
SPEAKER_06: And about seven years, it's not the hood, but I was living in Pasadena, I know it's not the hood, but next to us there was an Airbnb.
27:22
SPEAKER_06: And I remember one night, you know that intuition you have?
27:26
SPEAKER_06: There was high school kids, there was a party, there was a lot of cars parked, it just never happened.
27:30
SPEAKER_06: I just had a really bad intuition.
27:32
SPEAKER_06: I'm just gonna kind of end the story and let you know, no one got hurt, but we heard gunshots.
27:37
SPEAKER_06: And so, because I grew up in the hood, what do you do when you hear gunshots?
27:43
SPEAKER_06: I got down.
27:44
SPEAKER_06: And then I was yelling at my boyfriend, what are you doing?
27:46
SPEAKER_06: Get down.
27:47
SPEAKER_06: He's like, Why?
27:48
SPEAKER_06: I'm like, gunshots.
27:49
SPEAKER_06: And then I was like, let's move to the hallway.
27:51
SPEAKER_06: So we moved to the hallway.
27:52
SPEAKER_06: Why are we moving to the hallway?
27:53
SPEAKER_06: Because there's no windows here, and we have to stay back in the ground.
27:57
SPEAKER_06: So I share that story because even though that's an extreme story, you, even though you're an adult, a grown adult, be mindful at the end of the day what parts of you during the day where you felt like you're your five-year-old self, where you're like, oh my god, this person reminded me of this.
28:19
SPEAKER_06: So just breathe, which I know you did some breathing exercises.
28:23
SPEAKER_06: This is another technique that I like using.
28:25
SPEAKER_06: I learned it from my therapist.
28:27
SPEAKER_06: Um, and it's called zones of regulation.
28:30
SPEAKER_06: So when you notice someone is making you feel angry, the red zone, yellow, anxious, or blue, sad, you need to make sure you respond when you're in the green zone.
28:40
SPEAKER_06: So ask yourself, what zone are you in?
28:42
SPEAKER_06: Not the end zone, I know there's football fans here.
28:45
SPEAKER_06: But it's like, oh, I'm really angry, okay.
28:47
SPEAKER_06: I need to stop.
28:48
SPEAKER_06: I'm anxious, I'm slow.
28:50
SPEAKER_06: And it's okay to say when you're having a difficult conversation, hey, I need to get back to you.
28:54
SPEAKER_06: I want to respect your time.
28:56
SPEAKER_06: Let me just walk off for a minute, and then we could communicate when I'm more calm.
29:00
SPEAKER_06: And I will say that was hard for me to learn because I grew up in a very emotional, I love my family, just emotional and reactive family.
29:10
SPEAKER_06: They're used to responding fast and right away.
29:12
SPEAKER_06: So to unlearn that for decades and learn to pause, I will also say things that you are learning here, you can even do in your own family.
29:21
SPEAKER_06: Because when I hear things happening at family parties, I'll like walk away.
29:25
SPEAKER_06: And then my mom and dad will yell, Elaine, come back here, Elaine.
29:29
SPEAKER_06: Like, you need to hear what happened.
29:30
SPEAKER_06: No, I have nothing to contribute.
29:33
SPEAKER_06: Um, if there's and then I will also share, how many of you actually have colleagues where they probably gossip a lot and it takes up a lot of your time?
29:41
SPEAKER_06: A real I see laughs.
29:43
SPEAKER_06: A really great sentence if you want to write it down.
29:45
SPEAKER_06: I'm happy to hold space and listen to you if we could figure out a solution on how to fix it.
29:51
SPEAKER_06: And that's something that I've repeated over and over in my career.
29:55
SPEAKER_06: And what's interesting, when you say that, I'm happy to hear you if you figure out a solution.
30:00
SPEAKER_06: The people that gossip so much in the office stopped really going to me.
30:06
SPEAKER_06: Or eventually they would come to me for a solution.
30:08
SPEAKER_06: Because you're also putting a boundary for yourself, like, I just don't have time.
30:12
SPEAKER_06: And I get it, sometimes it could be like, I have to do this, this other.
30:15
SPEAKER_06: Wait, no, I need to tell you.
30:17
SPEAKER_06: I'm happy to listen to you, but I need to do these three tasks because you know, as you know, peak time is happening, and you could come back to me if you could figure out a solution for it.
30:27
SPEAKER_06: Think of three solutions and then we'll we'll play it out.
30:30
SPEAKER_06: A really cool thing I learned in the Japanese culture, it's called the roji.
30:34
SPEAKER_06: So there's beautiful Japanese gardens, and in the tea houses, people don't realize this.
30:39
SPEAKER_06: The tea homes were where war negotiations happen.
30:42
SPEAKER_06: I wish that would happen right now where people are drinking tea, talking.
30:45
SPEAKER_06: That's cute, not what happened.
30:48
SPEAKER_06: But the reason why there's a long path to get to the tea house, so if you look all the way to this little white shack, do you see that?
30:58
SPEAKER_06: That's where someone would grab the person from the other country or from the other team because they wanted them to be able to walk through this beautiful garden so they could be present and calm.
31:10
SPEAKER_06: And as they get into a little doorway to enter the house, it was very small.
31:15
SPEAKER_06: The reason being is that whether you're a general or a samurai, everybody entering this tea house are all in the equal space because they have all good feedback.
31:26
SPEAKER_06: So even though you might have the title that's higher up, because I get it, I come from a culture where it's like respect your elders, people on the floor have data and information that will be helpful for you as well.
31:36
SPEAKER_06: So we talked about that.
31:38
SPEAKER_06: And coaching tip when you get into the trauma response, you could use a second sentence, let me think about that for a second.
31:45
SPEAKER_06: Or hey, I want to make sure I get this right.
31:47
SPEAKER_06: This is what I heard from you.
31:49
SPEAKER_06: So I already shared this.
31:52
SPEAKER_06: What do you do when someone raises their tone?
31:56
SPEAKER_06: I also made it easy for you because it's on the slide.
32:00
SPEAKER_06: But also say their first name in a calm tone.
32:03
SPEAKER_06: Not like Holly.
32:05
SPEAKER_06: Holly, Holly.
32:07
SPEAKER_06: See, all of you already got startled.
32:09
SPEAKER_06: But if you feel startled that way, think about how you are at a meeting or at a conversation as well.
32:15
SPEAKER_06: So I would anyone want to share, would love to hear what do you do to stay calm?
32:21
SPEAKER_06: Meditation, prayer, breathe.
32:23
SPEAKER_06: Anyone else?
32:24
SPEAKER_06: Sometimes I just also walk out too.
32:27
SPEAKER_06: Like so, moving your body helps as well.
32:30
SPEAKER_06: All right, perspectives.
32:33
SPEAKER_06: So, just like sports, because nobody loves Argentina, that's what I heard, is in this case, understand your team member, customer, and leader.
32:41
SPEAKER_06: So here's a communication dashboard.
32:44
SPEAKER_06: And it's very similar to my Dodger fans, baseball fans in general.
32:50
SPEAKER_06: When they're in the outfield, they have a hat on, right?
32:53
SPEAKER_06: And then when they see a batter up, they take their hat, they look at their note card, and then they move because the batter is gonna be here.
33:00
SPEAKER_06: Similar to what baseball players do, you need to do with your colleagues as well.
33:05
SPEAKER_06: Of, okay, let me understand their goals.
33:08
SPEAKER_06: What's their communication style?
33:10
SPEAKER_06: You probably know some of your colleagues where you could be like, hey, how is your daughter's soccer practice?
33:14
SPEAKER_06: Other colleagues, they don't want to talk about their personal life.
33:16
SPEAKER_06: They just want you to be direct with them.
33:18
SPEAKER_06: If you know that, that is information.
33:20
SPEAKER_06: Other people, maybe it's some of your leaders, they just care about numbers.
33:23
SPEAKER_06: If they just care about numbers, that's their language.
33:26
SPEAKER_06: And then come from a place of curiosity.
33:28
SPEAKER_06: Who did they work well with and why?
33:30
SPEAKER_06: I'm not saying you have to be best friends with them, just come from a place of curiosity and understand what topic should I avoid or discuss.
33:38
SPEAKER_06: And the last one, take ego out.
33:40
SPEAKER_06: What do you need to do to improve your communication?
33:44
SPEAKER_06: I know you're probably looking at this.
33:46
SPEAKER_06: Oh my gosh, Elaine.
33:48
SPEAKER_06: This is a lot of work to do.
33:50
SPEAKER_06: How many championships does Lakers have?
33:52
SPEAKER_06: Does anyone have that sad?
33:53
SPEAKER_06: I actually don't know the number.
33:55
SPEAKER_06: Help me out.
33:58
SPEAKER_06: 17.
33:59
SPEAKER_06: 17 because they're constantly learning about themselves, they're learning about their team members, and they're learning about their opponents.
34:08
SPEAKER_06: You're all in a team here, and it's understanding how to communicate with them.
34:12
SPEAKER_06: Thank you for sharing with me.
34:13
SPEAKER_06: It's 17.
34:14
SPEAKER_06: And it's very similar to navigating family dynamics.
34:17
SPEAKER_06: So here's a story.
34:19
SPEAKER_06: I know there's a lot of like oldest siblings, but I have a brother who does not respond to any family text message.
34:26
SPEAKER_06: Anyone have that?
34:28
SPEAKER_06: Family member?
34:29
SPEAKER_06: They don't respond.
34:31
SPEAKER_06: And I had a cousin who was coming to visit from England, and I knew if I texted my brother, hey, you should come, he is not gonna respond to me.
34:41
SPEAKER_06: I already know who I am.
34:42
SPEAKER_06: I am the annoying big sister.
34:44
SPEAKER_06: He will not listen to me.
34:46
SPEAKER_06: So what do I do?
34:47
SPEAKER_06: I use a dashboard.
34:48
SPEAKER_06: Who does he respect?
34:50
SPEAKER_06: My cousin.
34:51
SPEAKER_06: Hey, can you text my brother and let him know that you're coming?
34:55
SPEAKER_06: He he responds how long?
34:58
SPEAKER_06: Five minutes later.
34:59
SPEAKER_06: Doesn't respond to me, responds to me five minutes later.
35:02
SPEAKER_06: So I get it.
35:04
SPEAKER_06: Maybe there might be one or two colleagues of yours where you don't work well with them, but maybe you have a good relationship with someone else.
35:11
SPEAKER_06: And giving them, hey, I'm trying to have this person do this.
35:15
SPEAKER_06: Can you give them feedback or help them do this?
35:19
SPEAKER_06: It doesn't just have to be you, it's uh also understanding the dynamics of things as well.
35:24
SPEAKER_06: So having difficult conversations, look at the dashboard and ask yourself these questions.
35:28
SPEAKER_06: I don't need to read this slide, but it's all in the slides, and I'll give you the URL later.
35:33
SPEAKER_06: Alright, plan.
35:35
SPEAKER_06: So you're gonna have the dashboard.
35:37
SPEAKER_06: Who's gonna do this?
35:38
SPEAKER_06: Anyone?
35:40
SPEAKER_06: Okay, I see some head nodding, some of you are rolling your eyes at me.
35:43
SPEAKER_06: That's fine, I take that as feedback.
35:45
SPEAKER_06: But I just want to remind you the stat 90,000 hours of your life is at work.
35:53
SPEAKER_06: Um, for example, I remember one of my friends, we went over to his place and his AC broke when it was like 100 degrees outside.
36:03
SPEAKER_06: And he was like the typical, oh my gosh, I'm so angry.
36:06
SPEAKER_06: It was 9 p.m., so it was later in the day, and his wife was responding back to him.
36:11
SPEAKER_06: Hun we, there's no point to put so much energy being angry about this.
36:16
SPEAKER_06: Like, let's wait until the next morning.
36:18
SPEAKER_06: And then my boyfriend was standing next to me.
36:21
SPEAKER_06: Hey, how he's acting, you act like that too.
36:23
SPEAKER_06: I just I just want you to see it.
36:29
SPEAKER_06: So, mind you, I didn't communicate with my friend, but then I saw him at another party, and then I went to him, hey, thank you so much for that performance.
36:37
SPEAKER_06: What performance?
36:38
SPEAKER_06: You being angry at the AC breaking, I needed to give a live example to my boyfriend of how he reacts.
36:45
SPEAKER_06: And then because he was calm, I was able to give him this feedback.
36:48
SPEAKER_06: I was like, that's just a lot of energy.
36:50
SPEAKER_06: That's a lot of energy to be angry.
36:53
SPEAKER_06: And he's like, Well, I love it.
36:55
SPEAKER_06: We were just being sarcastic, and he was just like, Well, I love putting all my energy, and that was like, yeah, that's too much energy.
37:01
SPEAKER_06: I just wouldn't want to do it.
37:03
SPEAKER_06: But it was actually a great exchange because his wife was there, and then I was talking to my boyfriend.
37:08
SPEAKER_06: But it's hard for people to listen to feedback when they're heightened.
37:12
SPEAKER_06: It's easier when you are giving your associate feedback when they are calm or the next day.
37:20
SPEAKER_06: So just a reminder.
37:22
SPEAKER_06: Why?
37:23
SPEAKER_06: Because they're in trauma response.
37:25
SPEAKER_06: So, how to hold team members accountable because I can't be with you like Elmo, reminding you to hold them accountable.
37:32
SPEAKER_06: But this is something Holly and I actually worked together.
37:35
SPEAKER_06: But this is a good script to use.
37:36
SPEAKER_06: Hey, just a reminder, we need to focus on the customer experience.
37:39
SPEAKER_06: I notice you filling up the apples that are already full, but the wet rack was empty.
37:45
SPEAKER_06: It's important to fill out the wet rack so customers have multiple selections and can buy it.
37:49
SPEAKER_06: Remember customer experience first.
37:51
SPEAKER_06: Anyone notice the breakdown of this script, why it works?
37:55
SPEAKER_06: Wanna yell it out?
37:56
SPEAKER_06: The what and the why and the hand back.
37:58
SPEAKER_06: What's the what?
38:00
SPEAKER_06: What needs to get done.
38:01
SPEAKER_06: The wet rack is empty.
38:03
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, so the hey, just a reminder, we need to focus on customer experience.
38:06
SPEAKER_06: Okay, so when you're giving feedback to the person, focus on the problem, not the person.
38:13
SPEAKER_06: Focus on the goal.
38:15
SPEAKER_06: I say this because I was so used to it growing up.
38:17
SPEAKER_06: Elaine, you always do this.
38:19
SPEAKER_06: You always do that.
38:20
SPEAKER_06: I'm like, you're not explaining to me why that's wrong.
38:23
SPEAKER_06: For example, when I was three and there was a hot cup of coffee, and my grandma was yelling at me, don't touch it, what do you think I did?
38:35
SPEAKER_06: I touched it.
38:36
SPEAKER_06: Or when I had my five-year-old niece, for example, we were at like Tahoe, we're gonna go hiking, and then her parents were telling, you need to go put shoes on.
38:45
SPEAKER_06: I don't want to wear shoes.
38:46
SPEAKER_06: She has a full-on tandem.
38:48
SPEAKER_06: I just wanted to wear my sandals, like, put your shoes on.
38:50
SPEAKER_06: Like they were just like yelling at her.
38:52
SPEAKER_06: And so what did I do?
38:53
SPEAKER_06: Knowing that she's this this high, I actually crouched down the same height.
38:58
SPEAKER_06: I squatted, how Asian of me.
39:01
SPEAKER_06: And then I responded to her, you don't want to put your shoes on, huh?
39:05
SPEAKER_06: No.
39:05
SPEAKER_06: And then I told her, Well, the reason why your parents want to put your shoes on, it's because we're gonna go hiking on rocks.
39:13
SPEAKER_06: And if we're hiking on rocks, you might fall and you might get hurt.
39:17
SPEAKER_06: Do you want to get hurt?
39:18
SPEAKER_06: No, I don't want to get hurt.
39:20
SPEAKER_06: Okay, so if you don't want to get hurt and your parents don't want to see you get hurt, do you want to put your shoes on now?
39:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
39:28
SPEAKER_06: Why did that work well?
39:29
SPEAKER_01: You gave her the why.
39:31
SPEAKER_06: I gave her the why and I explained it to her.
39:35
SPEAKER_06: So, very hard question.
39:36
SPEAKER_06: I don't mean to trigger you.
39:37
SPEAKER_06: Are you treating your colleagues like a child yelling at them?
39:40
SPEAKER_06: Or are you explaining to them the why?
39:42
SPEAKER_06: And if you do have children, you could also communicate to them the why as well.
39:48
SPEAKER_06: You know, I mean, how often when we were kids asking, like, I want more dessert, I want more cookies, and your parents like, no, you're gonna get sick.
39:55
SPEAKER_06: I don't care.
39:56
SPEAKER_06: And then you get sick.
39:59
SPEAKER_06: At the end of the meetings, I like having people sum it up so that people are on the same page.
40:03
SPEAKER_06: Hey, here's what I heard.
40:04
SPEAKER_06: I'm gonna work on these tasks, and this is why.
40:08
SPEAKER_06: Is there anything else I'm missing?
40:09
SPEAKER_06: So I'm bringing the task and the why.
40:11
SPEAKER_06: And this is something that you could practice daily when you're we're meeting with your associates.
40:15
SPEAKER_06: Hey, I want to use this structure so that I can make sure you're hearing what I'm saying.
40:19
SPEAKER_06: More importantly, you understand why these tasks need to be done as well.
40:23
SPEAKER_06: Holly, just so you know, you will be up here.
40:26
SPEAKER_04: You're looking good on time, my friend.
40:27
SPEAKER_06: I know.
40:28
SPEAKER_06: Just FYI.
40:29
SPEAKER_06: There is a panel, and Hall, I asked Holly, because you're running a little late.
40:33
SPEAKER_06: Um, Elyne, you could just take up all the time.
40:35
SPEAKER_06: You don't really need to do the panel.
40:36
SPEAKER_06: We could decrease the panel from 30 to 15 minutes.
40:39
SPEAKER_06: And then I had a very assertive conversation with Holly.
40:42
SPEAKER_06: Holly, it seems like you want to get away and not do the panel.
40:46
SPEAKER_06: But do you notice that I provided her direct feedback?
40:51
SPEAKER_06: And I didn't yell at her, so I just did it in real time.
40:55
SPEAKER_04: I was just trying to take advantage of Elaine's time, and she's she's speaking to the choir, right, on all these poaching conversations, and it's so impactful that I wanted to maximize her time.
41:03
SPEAKER_04: So actually, it was the other way around.
41:05
SPEAKER_04: I just want to maximize her time for all of you rather than hearing me today.
41:09
SPEAKER_04: I'll get Elaine.
41:11
SPEAKER_04: Take a boat in real time.
41:12
SPEAKER_04: Who wants to do a camel?
41:14
SPEAKER_04: Raise your hand.
41:15
SPEAKER_04: Who wants to hear Elaine more?
41:17
SPEAKER_04: Raise your hand.
41:21
SPEAKER_06: I won't be offended at who wants to go home.
41:30
SPEAKER_06: You're like, oh my god, traffic! Okay.
41:34
SPEAKER_06: Um, some of you did ask in terms of how to advance.
41:37
SPEAKER_06: Have your own brag sheet or value add sheet.
41:40
SPEAKER_06: So I know you have your own resumes, but have a running document of metrics, relationships you've improved, problems you solve, new systems you've created.
41:48
SPEAKER_06: It shouldn't just be when you have your annual review.
41:51
SPEAKER_06: This should be consistently.
41:53
SPEAKER_06: Any tips when planning are being visible?
41:55
SPEAKER_06: Anyone want to share what they've done?
41:57
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
41:58
SPEAKER_03: So the big thing that I do is keep that running sheet of the accomplishments that I have, and then anytime I have an interview, anytime I have any kind of update, I bring out the sheet, I hand it to my boss, and then we talk about it.
42:13
SPEAKER_03: And I'm either going to use that sheet as like a negotiation tactic to obviously try and get more money in terms of a salary, uh, but I'm also going to use it to like leverage in interviews ways uh to try and like open myself up for different jobs.
42:30
SPEAKER_06: Um and I will also say when you have that running list, that just helps you with your weekly updates.
42:36
SPEAKER_06: So when someone's like, hey, you didn't do this, you're like, actually, this is the three major things I did last week, that's why I wasn't able to focus on it.
42:43
SPEAKER_06: Oh.
42:44
SPEAKER_06: So it's called CYA.
42:47
SPEAKER_06: You know what that means.
42:48
SPEAKER_06: I don't have to say that out loud because HR is here.
42:52
SPEAKER_06: All right, practice, because remember, being an athlete.
42:55
SPEAKER_06: So we're gonna do actual plays.
42:57
SPEAKER_06: Communication is learning how to translate across cultures and generations.
43:00
SPEAKER_06: Some of you asked for feedback on how do I deal with these different generations.
43:04
SPEAKER_06: Stop stereotyping and understand the prototype.
43:09
SPEAKER_06: So I'm gonna give an example.
43:13
SPEAKER_06: The Gen Z stare.
43:14
SPEAKER_06: See, some of you are laughing.
43:16
SPEAKER_06: Wait, is there some Gen Z here?
43:18
SPEAKER_06: I just want to let you know.
43:18
SPEAKER_06: Okay, we're gonna make fun of the generations above you, okay?
43:21
SPEAKER_06: Don't worry, we got I got you.
43:23
SPEAKER_06: Thank you.
43:23
SPEAKER_06: Okay, you are welcome.
43:25
SPEAKER_06: All right, the Gen Z stare that some of you are frustrated in.
43:29
SPEAKER_06: It's them buffering, right?
43:31
SPEAKER_06: Alright, millennials, Gen X, boomers.
43:34
SPEAKER_06: Who are it?
43:34
SPEAKER_06: Who's here?
43:35
SPEAKER_06: Anyone?
43:36
SPEAKER_06: Alright, you we relate to Gen Z because it's brain fog.
43:42
SPEAKER_06: Like what if Okay, so I just see, I see Gen Z nodding.
43:48
SPEAKER_06: You're welcome, Gen Z.
43:49
SPEAKER_06: So when you are frustrated with someone that's not understanding, just give them grace.
43:56
SPEAKER_06: Also, both Gen Z and Malay.
44:00
SPEAKER_06: Millennials and above when you have the Gen Z stare or brain fog to CYA.
44:06
SPEAKER_06: Give me a moment.
44:07
SPEAKER_06: I need to process this.
44:10
SPEAKER_06: Can you do that for us?
44:12
SPEAKER_06: That would be very helpful.
44:14
SPEAKER_06: I just want to let all of you know when it comes to different generations from boomers all the way down to like Gen Z, it's changed from a noun going in the office.
44:23
SPEAKER_06: I know a lot of you go in the office to a verb working.
44:26
SPEAKER_06: So that's a change.
44:27
SPEAKER_06: And this book is very helpful.
44:29
SPEAKER_06: So these are different ways to communicate with different generations.
44:33
SPEAKER_06: I don't need to read that.
44:34
SPEAKER_06: A really great podcast episode is one with Oprah, the differences between generations.
44:38
SPEAKER_06: So if you get that QR code or the little flyer, you could listen to that podcast episode.
44:44
SPEAKER_06: And then some of you shared challenges with understanding different cultures as well.
44:49
SPEAKER_06: Like I said, I came from a culture of respect your elders.
44:53
SPEAKER_06: And I've had, I still respect my elders to my parents.
44:56
SPEAKER_06: And then it's also different in the workplace as well.
45:00
SPEAKER_06: So this is all a huge table that you could do.
45:04
SPEAKER_06: I don't have to read through this, but it's coming to understanding.
45:06
SPEAKER_06: Right?
45:07
SPEAKER_06: Like Mexican, relational and warm, Puerto Rican, direct and passionate, just understanding how to communicate with different people.
45:14
SPEAKER_06: That's all on the slides.
45:15
SPEAKER_06: This is a great book to listen to.
45:17
SPEAKER_06: Now, I want to remind you, do you want to be right or do you want to understand?
45:23
SPEAKER_06: Both could be true, by the way.
45:25
SPEAKER_06: It doesn't have to be A or B.
45:27
SPEAKER_06: But it's also understanding.
45:29
SPEAKER_06: And being mindful, are you being flexible with all the generations and cultures?
45:33
SPEAKER_06: So going back to like Kobe and Shaq, right?
45:36
SPEAKER_06: Like Kobe just cared about himself.
45:39
SPEAKER_06: And Phil just needed to remind him like, yes, I know there is a me and team, but there is a we, and we have to work together in it and seeing that.
45:49
SPEAKER_06: And the next part is after you pause perspectives, plan, and you're practicing, it's being present, just like I was here in my presentation.
45:59
SPEAKER_06: My presentations are different in a sense that sure I have these slides, but I change things up depending on what's needed in the room.
46:07
SPEAKER_06: So you could practice, for example, but are you being really present with your team members?
46:13
SPEAKER_06: An example I like using is Netflix.
46:16
SPEAKER_06: Who's your favorite comedian?
46:27
SPEAKER_06: Um the reason why I bring up comedians is because they go around their country around the country, around the world practicing their set list.
46:36
SPEAKER_06: So then by the time they get to Netflix, they already have their words, the movement on stage, perfect.
46:44
SPEAKER_06: And they could be completely present when there are hecklers.
46:50
SPEAKER_06: Like you suck.
46:51
SPEAKER_06: Like I was watching Hassan Minaj, for example, in Vegas, and there was like a heckler.
46:56
SPEAKER_06: And so the way he was able to go around it, hey, get this man a drink.
47:00
SPEAKER_06: Hey, can you go with the guy, the security in the back?
47:03
SPEAKER_06: He's gonna choose a drink for you.
47:05
SPEAKER_06: He was so drunk, like it worked, he got out and then chose a drink, and then he didn't come back.
47:09
SPEAKER_06: I was like, that was smart.
47:11
SPEAKER_06: Smart tactic.
47:12
SPEAKER_06: Time management.
47:13
SPEAKER_06: This is the Eisenhower decision matrix.
47:15
SPEAKER_06: Anyone familiar with this?
47:16
SPEAKER_06: I'm curious.
47:18
SPEAKER_06: So there's urgent, not urgent, important, not important.
47:21
SPEAKER_06: When you have your to-do list, you could organize it in these boxes.
47:24
SPEAKER_06: I know some of you are taking pictures, just know it's also in the QR code on the on your flyer as well.
47:31
SPEAKER_06: And then pause after you have the conversations, after you're having the projects, debrief.
47:36
SPEAKER_06: Who are these queens here?
47:41
SPEAKER_06: Has anyone been to their concerts?
47:43
SPEAKER_06: I'm curious.
47:44
SPEAKER_06: Anyone?
47:44
SPEAKER_06: I'm jealous.
47:45
SPEAKER_06: I see some hands.
47:47
SPEAKER_06: They change their set list if you ever go on tour.
47:50
SPEAKER_06: They change it from the beginning or the end.
47:52
SPEAKER_06: And the reason why they change it is because they get feedback.
47:54
SPEAKER_06: They're not necessarily watching themselves, but when they're in on stadium and they realize that this part of the stadium is not getting the energy, they change the set list or they change that they're going to be dancing in this direction.
48:06
SPEAKER_06: So, similar to what we were talking about, if you're having meetings, you're giving feedback, you're having a difficult conversation, it didn't go well.
48:14
SPEAKER_06: Are you taking a debrief for yourself on how to change it next time?
48:18
SPEAKER_06: That's what these singers and billionaires, they have a ton of money, do as well.
48:24
SPEAKER_06: And if you need, if for some of you who are more tactical, you can make a list like this.
48:28
SPEAKER_06: What are past meetings and conversations you've done, and what can you do to change it?
48:33
SPEAKER_06: So the reality is if you want to advance, you need to go from technical to networking and taking out your ego, which is what Kobe did.
48:42
SPEAKER_06: Do y'all remember how narcissistic Kobe was?
48:45
SPEAKER_06: And then he got humbled real quick, and then we became back to back to back champions.
48:51
SPEAKER_06: And I don't know what's happening with the Lakers right now.
48:53
SPEAKER_06: Okay, but that's that's a conversation we could have at the end.
48:57
SPEAKER_06: All right, so you could get the slides, it's right here.
49:00
SPEAKER_06: And then Holly, you're gonna have to come up with a panel.
49:03
SPEAKER_06: So thank you, everybody.
49:08
SPEAKER_04: Well, give it up for your lane one more time.
49:10
SPEAKER_04: Wasn't that amazing?
49:12
SPEAKER_04: That was so good.
49:16
SPEAKER_04: Well, hi everyone.
49:17
SPEAKER_04: My name is Holly Taylor.
49:19
SPEAKER_04: One thing that maybe you don't know about me is um, I don't know, I feel like you guys know everything about me, but I grew up in the projects of Wilmington, and um both of my parents and actually all my siblings, minus my younger brother and I, were all born in New York, so we grew up in New York a little bit, so back and forth.
49:36
SPEAKER_04: So I think that's where my diversity, my culture comes from.
49:40
SPEAKER_04: Um, and and super proud.
49:42
SPEAKER_04: My mom is uh schizophrenic, and I'm super proud of her and her journey, and she now lives with me.
49:48
SPEAKER_04: So fast forward as a young kid, I always felt a little bit ashamed or shy to kind of share my mom's history.
49:54
SPEAKER_04: Um, but now it's it's something that I really admire about her, and I now understand, right?
50:01
SPEAKER_04: As being a mom, I'm like, I would go cuckoo crazy too if I had five kids.
50:04
SPEAKER_04: Totally get it, mom.
50:06
SPEAKER_04: Um, but I'm really blessed and fortunate.
50:08
SPEAKER_04: So the things that probably have transpired as younger me, as an older me, I I now understand.
50:14
SPEAKER_04: So there's there's power in that.
50:16
SPEAKER_02: All right, thanks, Holly.
50:17
SPEAKER_02: Uh, my name is Scott Ravencamp.
50:19
SPEAKER_02: Um, one thing people probably don't know about me, um, I'm obsessed with sports.
50:24
SPEAKER_02: Um, I played uh professional baseball out of high school for a couple years before I came back to Ralph's and started stacking cans for a living, which we love.
50:33
SPEAKER_02: Um, but um I still coach youth basketball.
50:36
SPEAKER_02: I've been coaching youth basketball for about 15 years.
50:39
SPEAKER_02: Uh, five nights a week, 7 to 9 p.m., I coach youth basketball.
50:43
SPEAKER_02: And I've been fortunate enough to coach some players that are in the NBA now that that still keep in touch with.
50:48
SPEAKER_06: Why do you work here?
50:53
SPEAKER_02: I have to stay busy.
50:53
SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm a hyper kinetic personality.
50:56
SPEAKER_02: Um I don't like free time, I don't like to sit around.
50:58
SPEAKER_02: Um, I have to always be doing something to keep my mind occupied.
51:02
SPEAKER_02: And I love being able to help uh the kids and to and to watch, you know, when that light goes on, it's kind of like leadership.
51:08
SPEAKER_02: When you see that light go on in the people that you're coaching, even whether you're a leader, a coach, whatever you're doing out there, and they finally get it, that's the joy of the job, that's the joy of my life for me, and that's that's what I love to do.
51:19
SPEAKER_00: So hi, I'm Yara, and one thing you probably don't know about me is um that I love sports.
51:27
SPEAKER_00: I played basketball, softball, and trek when I was in high school.
51:31
SPEAKER_00: And um this is something that just came back and put me back in when I graduated many, many years ago.
51:39
SPEAKER_00: I had one of my Equolab inspectors come in, and in short conversation, we were talking about life and where we're at in the city that I work in.
51:50
SPEAKER_00: And um he said, you know, I have two daughters that go to high school at Red Chalamitos.
51:57
SPEAKER_00: And I said, Oh, really?
51:58
SPEAKER_00: And he says, Yes.
51:59
SPEAKER_00: He goes, they play basketball.
52:01
SPEAKER_00: And I said, um, by chance, would they be able to take a picture of a banner that's up on in the gym?
52:09
SPEAKER_00: And can you see if they could send it to you so maybe I could get it next time I see you?
52:14
SPEAKER_00: Well, lucky for me that many, many years later, the banner's still up there and reminded me of how we took CIF championship back in 1992.
52:25
SPEAKER_07: Wow!
52:27
SPEAKER_00: That was a big win for me, and and I forget that I lived that moment and I was part of something so great.
52:34
SPEAKER_04: And what she didn't mention is that's how she got a 100% on our Eco Lab out of it.
52:42
SPEAKER_06: So we got athletes here.
52:46
SPEAKER_06: Can we have like a PE class or training here?
52:49
SPEAKER_06: I think we should do that.
52:53
SPEAKER_06: So this is open to anyone because one of the survey comments was can you share what to do with time management?
53:01
SPEAKER_06: Because there's so much that happens in a store.
53:03
SPEAKER_06: So who wants to share?
53:06
SPEAKER_04: I think time management is an interesting one, but I think Deanna mentioned it earlier.
53:10
SPEAKER_04: You take it into small little bite sizes, right?
53:14
SPEAKER_04: And I think focusing on what's important now, the now, oftentimes our associates or maybe even ourselves, we're focused on things that are not priority right now.
53:23
SPEAKER_04: And you and you watch your associates and you can see so much.
53:26
SPEAKER_04: You're like, oh my god, why are they filling up the bananas?
53:28
SPEAKER_04: They're already full.
53:30
SPEAKER_04: Oh my gosh, why am I worrying about this?
53:32
SPEAKER_04: So if you focus on the now, I think it allows you the opportunity to really close the gap.
53:37
SPEAKER_04: And then you can focus on the future, like, hey, I do need a better plan for having transits in my cake case, so that my cake case is always full, right?
53:45
SPEAKER_04: It's just an example.
53:46
SPEAKER_04: Or, hey, from an HR perspective, I'm focused on, hey, what matters now to our associates?
53:52
SPEAKER_04: And it's the development for me of our store leaders.
53:54
SPEAKER_04: And that's why you guys are all here today, is because how can we advance and really take our divisions to the next level?
54:01
SPEAKER_04: We can't drive sales, we can't drive all of our financial obligations if we don't have the best of the best.
54:06
SPEAKER_04: So I think taking those things, focusing on what's important now and delivering it, being really good at what you do, whether that's composite and labor, all those other metrics, because they matter to the business, they matter to our bottom line at the end of the day.
54:18
SPEAKER_04: But then how do you really take your store, your associate experience to the next level?
54:23
SPEAKER_04: And those are all done through your daily huddles, your communication, how do I improve asking the right questions, better questions to my team instead of talking at them?
54:34
SPEAKER_04: So I think all of those things that that helps just balance out your time management.
54:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, thanks.
54:40
SPEAKER_02: I just want to add to that, it's a great point, Paulie.
54:42
SPEAKER_02: Um, I love the decision-making matrix you put up on the board.
54:45
SPEAKER_02: I think that's important that we learn how to prioritize because in this business, in life in general, we can go down rabbit holes, right?
54:51
SPEAKER_02: We we can chase ghosts, we can spend a lot of time on things that we don't get our ROI for.
54:56
SPEAKER_02: Uh and I I think we should be also really intentional about your free time, um, about scheduling time for yourselves, because we all think I just want a day off, I just want to do nothing.
55:06
SPEAKER_02: But how's that work out for you, right?
55:07
SPEAKER_02: So we all have phones, we all have people that are trying to find us all the time, and if we don't have something scheduled, you know, intentionally for ourselves, we're gonna end up working on our days off all day too.
55:18
SPEAKER_02: Now, you know, in our positions, we have to answer the phone, we have to help.
55:21
SPEAKER_02: Uh we have there are some priorities that we have to do when we're off.
55:24
SPEAKER_02: That's just what we signed up for.
55:26
SPEAKER_02: But you know, drawing those boundaries and making sure, you know, like my my kids, I know, for example, my my middle daughter loves to go rock climbing, she likes to take me.
55:34
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I attempt you know to rock climb sometimes.
55:36
SPEAKER_02: Um they have big pads on the bottom, so it's cool, so I'll be okay.
55:40
SPEAKER_02: But um, but scheduling that time with her um makes it important and it makes her know that it's important to me.
55:47
SPEAKER_02: Um, and no matter what else is going on, I make sure I have that time with my daughter.
55:51
SPEAKER_02: If I have to answer the phone, um, yeah, you know, Kendra, I'll be right on it, you know, whatever it is, um, I'm still present, you know, with my daughter because I schedule that time.
55:59
SPEAKER_02: Whereas if I just took a day off and thought I'm just gonna you know do whatever today, my tendency is to start working and start answering the phone and start making phone calls and hitting my email and busting out my laptop.
56:10
SPEAKER_02: Um, so I think just being really intentional with your time.
56:13
SPEAKER_02: Uh, and I like Mike Tyson said, we all have a plan until we get punched in the face, right?
56:17
SPEAKER_02: So that's what happens every single day.
56:19
SPEAKER_02: I'm a list maker and I always have a plan, and by the time you you get to your store, there's 10 things that have happened that change your plan.
56:26
SPEAKER_02: So being able again to prioritize the things that you're gonna get the most ROI out of, um, I think is really important to learn how to do.
56:34
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and Scott, Scott reminded me of delegation.
56:37
SPEAKER_04: Not everything requires your effort, right?
56:39
SPEAKER_04: Sometimes it's like your team's effort.
56:41
SPEAKER_04: You think about, okay, I'm not making my shrink goal on my store, we'll break it down.
56:44
SPEAKER_04: Okay, well, I'm not making it in service deli bakery, but meat is killing it.
56:47
SPEAKER_04: Well, why not pair your meat leader up with your service deli bakery to help support that?
56:51
SPEAKER_04: But we don't do a lot of that cross-functional working together, and I think that hinders us, and therefore requiring your time to be locked down by things that don't require so much of your energy.
57:02
SPEAKER_04: Like, how do you your job as a coach, as a leader?
57:04
SPEAKER_04: I always talk about like that basketball acronym.
57:07
SPEAKER_04: You don't see a basketball coach saying on the sidelines saying, LeBron, you can't shoot those free throws, I'm gonna jump in for you, and they start throwing the free throws.
57:14
SPEAKER_04: That doesn't happen.
57:15
SPEAKER_04: What does a coach do?
57:17
SPEAKER_04: Stands back, observes, coaches, redirect, and really spends that time coaching, right?
57:23
SPEAKER_04: Um, and that's what our leaders need to do in our organization.
57:26
SPEAKER_04: It's not about you getting the work done.
57:27
SPEAKER_04: We know you can get it done, but what about your team?
57:30
SPEAKER_04: So, how do you elevate your team?
57:32
SPEAKER_04: Everybody wants the best team, don't they?
57:35
SPEAKER_04: But you're not gonna be given the best team.
57:37
SPEAKER_04: You have to create it.
57:38
SPEAKER_04: So, what are you doing to elevate yourself and elevating your knowledge, your skill set to be the best coach you can be?
57:44
SPEAKER_04: So that's something that I really strive to do as a leader is how do I be the best for my team?
57:49
SPEAKER_04: How do I simplify things?
57:50
SPEAKER_04: How do I simplify timelines or deadlines or communication so that we can drive the best outcome?
57:55
SPEAKER_04: So I think that's really important too.
57:57
SPEAKER_00: I think one of the best things you could do is even though we're in the grocery business and we could plan our day, but our day is not gonna be what we plan.
58:05
SPEAKER_00: But with that said, you go ahead and put your priorities in place.
58:10
SPEAKER_00: And one of the biggest things that I do as a leader is I trust my team.
58:15
SPEAKER_00: And I know that they're gonna get it done for me because I'm gonna go ahead and path the way.
58:20
SPEAKER_00: And only that way we're gonna go ahead and come to the end of getting to where we need to be.
58:25
SPEAKER_00: Um, because the trust that we have on the team, the confidence that we build on our team, and the decision that we make to join this journey together and deliver the result for that day, for that week, for that month, for that week, for the visit, for the customers, for the shopping experience, whatever it may be, it's through your team you're gonna reach the results you want to get.
58:48
SPEAKER_06: I I want to go more tactical and practical on what you could do.
58:50
SPEAKER_06: So going back to when you're feeling overwhelmed, because I know it's easy to go micro, and you see this with yourself, you see this with the banana person, right?
58:59
SPEAKER_06: Because they're in trauma response, and so are you.
59:02
SPEAKER_06: And going back to what's the goal?
59:05
SPEAKER_06: The goal is customer experience.
59:07
SPEAKER_06: What's the goal?
59:09
SPEAKER_06: Making revenue.
59:10
SPEAKER_06: So if we know the goal, then we'll make sure that the rest of the produce is stacked up.
59:14
SPEAKER_06: Asking yourself what's the goal as opposed to, because it's so easy.
59:18
SPEAKER_06: How many of us it's like, this is not stacked, this is not happening, as opposed to what is the goal?
59:23
SPEAKER_06: Second, to what Scott was sharing, that decision matrix that I shared, just really helpful that you could use.
59:31
SPEAKER_06: And also, let's be honest, how many of you have been able to move up because you are so good being reactive?
59:37
SPEAKER_06: You're so good seeing fires, you're so good at seeing problems, and you just fix it.
59:41
SPEAKER_06: You are the fixer, like I forgot the show.
59:44
SPEAKER_06: Um, Olivia Pope.
59:46
SPEAKER_06: It's handled, right?
59:48
SPEAKER_06: Like you were promoted up to this point for that.
59:50
SPEAKER_06: But the reality is to move up.
59:53
SPEAKER_06: What Scott shared, you need to put time blocks because if not, you're having your employees be codependent on you.
1:00:00
SPEAKER_06: Have them problem solve.
1:00:01
SPEAKER_06: Let them know, hey, I have this time with my daughter, she's gonna go rock climbing, so any problems you have, I want you to practice doing critical thinking.
1:00:10
SPEAKER_06: So you're empowering them to make those decisions.
1:00:14
SPEAKER_06: And that's what Yara was sharing about trusting the team.
1:00:16
SPEAKER_06: Hey, I'm gonna be on vacation for five days.
1:00:19
SPEAKER_06: I'm gonna check it never during the time.
1:00:23
SPEAKER_06: I trust you to make decisions.
1:00:26
SPEAKER_06: And even letting them know ahead of time, I'm gonna go on vacation a month from now.
1:00:30
SPEAKER_06: So, what I want you to practice is observe what I do when there are fires and there's problems so that you know how to handle it.
1:00:38
SPEAKER_06: Not necessarily my way, but you could do it your own way as well.
1:00:41
SPEAKER_06: Okay, we talked about time management, work-life balance.
1:00:46
SPEAKER_06: How do you stay confident in unsure times?
1:00:49
SPEAKER_00: Well, we have to remind ourselves that we've overcome quite a bit of situations in our business.
1:00:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, we've gone through quite a bit, and in order to continue building that confidence in a trying time or in an unsure time, is just goes back to your team, believing in what you could do, reminding yourself of the obstacles you overcame, not by yourself but with your team.
1:01:19
SPEAKER_00: You know, together you guys made a difference, and together we you guys will continue going forward because that's the only way that your confidence, your team's confidence, will continue going forward knowing what you've been through.
1:01:34
SPEAKER_02: I think um we talk a lot about presence today, being present.
1:01:37
SPEAKER_02: And I think leadership presence is something that's hard to define, but you know it when you see it.
1:01:41
SPEAKER_02: And I think people are drawn to leaders who have confidence, right?
1:01:44
SPEAKER_02: So um think about when you're a kid, you you go to your parents when you have a problem because they have confidence, they have the answers, you feel safe and secure going to them knowing that they'll take care of the situation or they'll at least get you on the right track.
1:01:57
SPEAKER_02: And I think um, as leaders, we're all leaders in this room, uh, your people are looking for that too.
1:02:01
SPEAKER_02: They want to gravitate towards leaders that are confident uh in their ability, that show confidence in them, and that confidence permeates down to your team as well.
1:02:10
SPEAKER_02: Um, it's amazing what people can accomplish when they believe in themselves.
1:02:13
SPEAKER_02: And if we have confidence in ourselves, that comes through in your communication, in the way that you carry yourself, and people will be drawn to that and they'll want they'll want to be that, they'll they'll want that for themselves, and uh you can teach them that just by that calm demeanor.
1:02:27
SPEAKER_02: You know, it if everybody knows that you're not freaking out, they're not gonna freak out.
1:02:31
SPEAKER_02: But if we're running around, like somebody said, with it like a chicken with their head cut off.
1:02:35
SPEAKER_02: Um we all do that, we all we all tend to do that sometimes.
1:02:38
SPEAKER_02: Um think about that experience for your associates.
1:02:41
SPEAKER_02: What are they seeing?
1:02:41
SPEAKER_02: How are they supposed to feel about that?
1:02:43
SPEAKER_02: And how are they gonna react, right?
1:02:45
SPEAKER_02: So it's all about the way we carry ourselves, uh, and that's gonna make those people that work for you and that look up to you have confidence in your leadership uh and know that everything's gonna be okay.
1:02:54
SPEAKER_02: And it always is.
1:02:55
SPEAKER_02: Think of the things that we've been through, right?
1:02:57
SPEAKER_02: Um we COVID, remember that?
1:02:59
SPEAKER_02: You know, that was pretty crazy, right?
1:03:01
SPEAKER_02: We all made it through, and we're all still here, right?
1:03:03
SPEAKER_02: And those things are gonna keep happening.
1:03:05
SPEAKER_02: So it's uh it's our job as leaders to keep our people centered uh and to let them know that's gonna be okay, that we have their back, and that we know that they'll get through it because we get through everything.
1:03:14
SPEAKER_02: You know, we're we're resilient, and that's what this this leadership conference is all about resilient leadership, um, and showing that confidence, I think, is key, you know, to having that leadership presence.
1:03:24
SPEAKER_04: And just to add to that, I think confidence is clarity and direction.
1:03:29
SPEAKER_04: And what do I mean by that?
1:03:30
SPEAKER_04: Like, hey, I'm running around and I remember I had a bakery manager who was freaking out about her department because she had a sick call, right?
1:03:38
SPEAKER_04: And what do they do?
1:03:39
SPEAKER_04: They naturally freak out.
1:03:40
SPEAKER_04: Oh my god, it's the end of the world, it's not gonna be up in time, my department's a hot mess, it's hot mess express.
1:03:45
SPEAKER_04: I'm like, it's gonna be okay.
1:03:47
SPEAKER_04: It's totally fine.
1:03:48
SPEAKER_04: Like, your cake case is full.
1:03:50
SPEAKER_04: Where the opportunity is is on your cookie table.
1:03:52
SPEAKER_04: Cookies take about nine minutes to bake, and then we'll go ahead and let them cool off, and we'll package them, and I'll send a courtesy clerk to come help you.
1:03:58
SPEAKER_04: So, confidence is also knowing your skill set.
1:04:01
SPEAKER_04: So, as leaders in this organization, I think it's so important for you to know your craft.
1:04:05
SPEAKER_04: You need to know the ins and out of the department because our people don't and they panic.
1:04:10
SPEAKER_04: And if you can't direct them or course correct them in the right direction, then you're gonna be down that spiral too.
1:04:15
SPEAKER_04: Hey, sorry, Mike, my cake case is a hot mess express today, and my customers aren't gonna get cakes because I had one sick call.
1:04:21
SPEAKER_04: One sick call is not gonna make or break you, but it's a constant daily repeat of the same habits that are not working, that continue, and then one sick call will impact you because we haven't addressed it ahead of time.
1:04:34
SPEAKER_04: So I think that clarity, that confidence is gonna come from the clarity of knowing your craft and knowing your skill set in order for you to direct your teams in the right direction.
1:04:44
SPEAKER_06: And I want to give an action.
1:04:46
SPEAKER_06: So I remember seeing a boss, my former boss, she would be one of those people in a meeting where there are a lot of people yelling trauma responses from grown adults.
1:04:57
SPEAKER_06: She was calm, cold, and collective.
1:05:00
SPEAKER_06: She gave a different perspective from everyone else.
1:05:03
SPEAKER_06: When the meeting ended, everybody loved her and they respected her.
1:05:07
SPEAKER_06: And I'm like, what magic sorcery did she just do?
1:05:10
SPEAKER_06: And so the next day I emailed her, hey, I loved how you handled so and so and this person.
1:05:17
SPEAKER_06: How did you do that?
1:05:19
SPEAKER_06: So there's people here that you probably don't interface a lot.
1:05:22
SPEAKER_06: You probably have heard how amazing one person, one store manager did.
1:05:27
SPEAKER_06: Write their name real quick, send them a message, or before you go, hey, can we just connect on the phone for five or ten minutes while we're driving back home or something?
1:05:35
SPEAKER_06: And hey, how did you handle that situation?
1:05:38
SPEAKER_06: I heard you were able to do this.
1:05:39
SPEAKER_06: What did you do?
1:05:40
SPEAKER_06: This is something that I'm foc that's a problem for me at my store.
1:05:44
SPEAKER_06: Want to get your feedback on what I would do.
1:05:46
SPEAKER_06: You don't have to do this alone.
1:05:48
SPEAKER_06: There are examples all in this room, and you could ask each other feedback.
1:05:54
SPEAKER_06: So, last question How do you stand out and get noticed when competing?
1:06:00
SPEAKER_06: For advancement, despite having strong performance across the board.
1:06:04
SPEAKER_04: Woo.
1:06:05
SPEAKER_04: Deanna, we battled that our whole career.
1:06:10
SPEAKER_04: You know, I think just to kind of sum it up, I think people think that your hard work is going to get noticed.
1:06:16
SPEAKER_04: Your hard work will be noticed, and that's enough, and it's not.
1:06:19
SPEAKER_04: Your hard work is not going to be noticed just alone.
1:06:22
SPEAKER_04: And what it takes is it takes power of networking, and you never know who those people are that are going to be your sponsors.
1:06:29
SPEAKER_04: And the sponsors are the people that are in your corner and they're in different rooms and spaces when we're looking for the next person.
1:06:36
SPEAKER_04: Because we have conversations, right, from an HR perspective of hey, who's the next district leader?
1:06:41
SPEAKER_04: Who's the next vice president?
1:06:42
SPEAKER_04: Who's the next and your connections?
1:06:44
SPEAKER_04: And I heard Josh talk about building your spider webs.
1:06:47
SPEAKER_04: Those people are your spider, you're building your networking.
1:06:51
SPEAKER_04: And the power of networking is so huge, and a lot of us don't take advantage of that.
1:06:55
SPEAKER_04: We're like, oh, well, they're not a store leader like me, they don't understand, or they're not an ASL, they're a merchant, whatever the case may be, and we don't take advantage of it.
1:07:02
SPEAKER_04: So my advice if you want to continue to move up is number one, say that you want to move up and be honest with yourself.
1:07:10
SPEAKER_04: Are you achieving the metrics?
1:07:12
SPEAKER_04: Is number one.
1:07:13
SPEAKER_04: Are you driving the business outcomes?
1:07:15
SPEAKER_04: We work for business, so you have to drive the business outcomes.
1:07:18
SPEAKER_04: You don't have to be amazing at every single outcome to be the obvious choice.
1:07:23
SPEAKER_04: I wasn't the best store leader.
1:07:26
SPEAKER_04: I didn't run the best shrink, I didn't make labor every week.
1:07:29
SPEAKER_04: That's not what we're looking for with leaders.
1:07:31
SPEAKER_04: We're looking for people that have a strong passion for leadership, that have the ability to grow, that are enthusiastic, that, hey, I'm uncomfortable getting on stage, but I don't care, I'll do it.
1:07:40
SPEAKER_04: Hey, I'm uncomfortable with this, but I'll do it.
1:07:43
SPEAKER_04: Those are the types of leaders that we're looking for in the organization.
1:07:46
SPEAKER_04: And when an executive or anyone walks in your store because you're four walls or spaces like this, you're walking out of your comfort zone, out of your table to go shake Mike's hand to say, hi, I work for Ralph's, but I'd be happy to grow opportunities and looking for some sponsorship or mentorship.
1:08:01
SPEAKER_04: We need to do more of that to be noticed.
1:08:04
SPEAKER_04: And I think that's what's really going to take you to the next level when you think about your growth and your own personal development.
1:08:09
SPEAKER_04: So don't be afraid to think outside your box.
1:08:11
SPEAKER_04: If you're very stagnant in your career, I also suggest that you connect with your leader to say, hey, I think I'm doing an amazing job, but you tell me, give me some feedback on what you think I can do to improve and be the obvious choice boss.
1:08:25
SPEAKER_04: Or, hey, I may not be doing the best, but I really want to do something different.
1:08:29
SPEAKER_04: And I will say, store leader was one of my hardest positions.
1:08:32
SPEAKER_04: Like, how many of you raise your hand if it's the hardest position you've ever done?
1:08:36
SPEAKER_04: It's hard, right?
1:08:37
SPEAKER_04: Because you're in those four walls every day and you're like, oh my gosh, it's a lot going on.
1:08:42
SPEAKER_04: But the best way to get out of something is to be really good at something.
1:08:45
SPEAKER_04: So you can't get out of being a store leader unless you become really amazing and become the obvious choice for that next role.
1:08:51
SPEAKER_04: So it really for me encouraged me to build my craft, to learn more about merchandising.
1:08:56
SPEAKER_04: So Zed and I work together in Service Deli Bakery.
1:08:59
SPEAKER_04: So I'm building that spider web, and I learned so much about the business, but you have to become really good at that effective walk, you have to understand it inside and out.
1:09:08
SPEAKER_04: And then you know your business.
1:09:09
SPEAKER_04: So that when any leader walks in your store, you're like, okay, here's where I'm at today.
1:09:13
SPEAKER_04: My product slow didn't come in today, boss, but it's okay, we got cleaning done.
1:09:16
SPEAKER_04: All my departments were touched up today, feeling pretty good about this department, this department.
1:09:20
SPEAKER_04: You're able to articulate it in a way that shows us and gives us confidence that you know how to run your business, and that confidence is what's gonna ultimately help you get to the next level.
1:09:31
SPEAKER_04: Sorry, I took all your time, Scott.
1:09:32
SPEAKER_04: What questions do you have?
1:09:34
SPEAKER_02: No, you're spot on.
1:09:36
SPEAKER_02: So raise your hand, keep raising your hand.
1:09:38
SPEAKER_02: Uh, this is the first thing I would say.
1:09:39
SPEAKER_02: Keep raising your hand, but be really good at what you do before you raise your hand.
1:09:43
SPEAKER_02: Right?
1:09:43
SPEAKER_02: Don't raise your hand saying I want to move up, and then we look, and you're you know, you're you're not doing so well at what you're doing now.
1:09:48
SPEAKER_02: So figure out what you need to do to be really good at your craft now.
1:09:52
SPEAKER_02: Reach out across the aisle, and that's something I've struggled with in my career.
1:09:55
SPEAKER_02: Wanted to do everything myself.
1:09:56
SPEAKER_02: I wanted to get noticed on my own.
1:09:58
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I was hesitant to reach out, and still I'm learning how to reach out across, even if I don't need help from somebody else, but include them in the process, and that way your name starts getting out there as being someone who's inclusive, somebody who is not afraid to reach out.
1:10:13
SPEAKER_02: Um, and that's helped me in my career as well.
1:10:15
SPEAKER_02: And the last thing I'll have is um somebody told me a long time ago, you want to you care about your career, stop worrying so much about your career.
1:10:22
SPEAKER_02: Stop start worrying about the people who work for you's career.
1:10:25
SPEAKER_02: Because if you make people that work for you successful, you have to be successful by default.
1:10:29
SPEAKER_02: And that's what I do.
1:10:30
SPEAKER_02: The joy of the job to me is when I see somebody that I've promoted, I was able to promote, um, that that becomes successful and you know, they get what they want, they make a little bit more money, they're happy, and and they're the best versions of themselves.
1:10:42
SPEAKER_02: And I think that's what leadership is is tapping into that potential.
1:10:45
SPEAKER_02: Everybody has, you know, that they might not see it in themselves, but we see it in them.
1:10:49
SPEAKER_02: And getting them to see it in themselves and be proud of themselves at the end of the day, that's really the joy of the job for me, and I love that aspect.
1:10:56
SPEAKER_02: But if your people are successful, you're gonna be successful.
1:10:58
SPEAKER_02: Talk about your people, talk about the results you're getting through your team, not what you're doing, what they're doing, you know, and you're just a piece of that.
1:11:05
SPEAKER_02: You're just trying to point them in the right direction, but they're the ones doing all the work.
1:11:08
SPEAKER_02: They're the ones, my team knows, you know, that I have their back no matter what.
1:11:12
SPEAKER_02: I can be tough on them, and sometimes we have to, but it's because I genuinely care about their success and I want them to be successful.
1:11:19
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I know that that translated into my success as well.
1:11:22
SPEAKER_02: So um, but be confident, reach out and get a sponsor, like Holly was saying, you know, find somebody that can mentor you and go ask them questions and start, you know, reaching out, getting you know, out of your comfort zone, sending them an email.
1:11:34
SPEAKER_02: Hey, do you have 15 minutes?
1:11:36
SPEAKER_02: You know, that you know we could talk about, you know, at your leisure, whenever you have a chance, I'd like to pick your brain about a few things.
1:11:42
SPEAKER_02: Reach out to Kendra, she'll come out and walk with you, anybody in our in our organization.
1:11:45
SPEAKER_02: We all want you all to be successful because we need that as a company, and we do care about your success.
1:11:51
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'll piggyback off both Holly and Scott.
1:11:55
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm a firm believer that sometimes the only reason that we stay complacent or in our four walls is because we are afraid of the unknown.
1:12:03
SPEAKER_00: We really don't want to venture out.
1:12:05
SPEAKER_00: We stay so comfortable within our four walls that we choose to be successful in our four walls.
1:12:13
SPEAKER_00: And we stop raising our hands.
1:12:15
SPEAKER_00: Even though we develop and create our teams, we look to what Scott said, the success of our teams, the leaders that we become through our teams.
1:12:25
SPEAKER_00: We go ahead and let them promote us in our four walls, making a difference every single day.
1:12:31
SPEAKER_00: But the only difference that we're making is developing our teams, but we forget about ourselves.
1:12:37
SPEAKER_00: And then the only way that we're gonna go ahead and achieve this is getting out of our way.
1:12:42
SPEAKER_00: We hear that over and over and over.
1:12:45
SPEAKER_00: The only thing that's stopping you from growing is you.
1:12:50
SPEAKER_00: So believe in yourself, trust yourself, and never underestimate the difference that you could make and embrace every opportunity because the time is now to make a difference.
1:13:04
SPEAKER_06: Alright, I'm gonna, because I'm a coach, I'm gonna challenge you.
1:13:08
SPEAKER_06: Raise your hand if you want to move up.
1:13:12
SPEAKER_06: Great.
1:13:12
SPEAKER_06: There's some big people here on stage, so I hope, if not, I hope all of you try to connect with someone.
1:13:20
SPEAKER_06: If you want to move up, you're gonna want to write this down.
1:13:21
SPEAKER_06: I'm gonna give you three steps.
1:13:23
SPEAKER_06: Number one, have a meeting with your direct boss.
1:13:28
SPEAKER_06: And to what they were just sharing, hey, I want to move up.
1:13:32
SPEAKER_06: What do I need to work on?
1:13:35
SPEAKER_06: I created this brag sheet, value add sheet, whatever it is, you need to do your homework.
1:13:40
SPEAKER_06: Put all the things that you've been able to accomplish.
1:13:42
SPEAKER_06: Hey, this is everything I've done.
1:13:44
SPEAKER_06: So sorry, two steps.
1:13:45
SPEAKER_06: First, make the list of everything you've done successfully.
1:13:48
SPEAKER_06: Two, once you have that memo, schedule a time to connect with your boss.
1:13:52
SPEAKER_06: Hey, I want to move up.
1:13:54
SPEAKER_06: What do I need to work on?
1:13:55
SPEAKER_06: I created this memo of everything I need to work on, right?
1:13:58
SPEAKER_06: Three, be honest, take ego, take your emotions about how you feel about certain individuals.
1:14:05
SPEAKER_06: Be honest.
1:14:06
SPEAKER_06: Who do you need to work on relationships with?
1:14:10
SPEAKER_06: And how do you need to improve your relationship with them?
1:14:14
SPEAKER_06: And maybe you don't like a certain person, but maybe a colleague of yours that's a good friend, they work well with them.
1:14:19
SPEAKER_06: Hey, I need to work on my relationship with them.
1:14:21
SPEAKER_06: Like, how did you work that relationship with them?
1:14:23
SPEAKER_06: Because here's the reality: if you don't have a great working relationship with people that are gonna help you move up, it's not gonna happen.
1:14:30
SPEAKER_06: Take your ego out.
1:14:31
SPEAKER_06: The fourth thing to do is when you're meeting with your boss, hey, so I do want to move up.
1:14:36
SPEAKER_06: I know this is a continuous conversation.
1:14:38
SPEAKER_06: Can we have this conversation every other month or once a quarter?
1:14:42
SPEAKER_06: Because it shouldn't just be one conversation, it should be consistent.
1:14:45
SPEAKER_06: And when you meet with your boss, whether it's every other month or a quarter, okay, we talked about how three months ago I need to work on this stuff.
1:14:51
SPEAKER_06: This is what I've worked on.
1:14:53
SPEAKER_06: What else do I need to work on?
1:14:54
SPEAKER_06: Am I getting closer or am I not?
1:14:57
SPEAKER_06: Got your homework?
1:14:58
SPEAKER_07: Yes.
1:14:59
SPEAKER_06: Okay.
1:14:59
SPEAKER_06: So good.
1:15:01
SPEAKER_06: But thank you so much for allowing me to kick your butt as a coach.
1:15:07
SPEAKER_06: And thank you for all three of you for sharing your experience.
1:15:30
SPEAKER_06: And hey, if you need to rewind and listen to the replay, go ahead and do that.
1:15:36
SPEAKER_06: Because I get it, you probably feel motivated and inspired to know that you can move that.
1:15:43
SPEAKER_06: And it's not just listening to this and you're feeling good.
1:15:47
SPEAKER_06: It's actually integrating and implementing.
1:15:50
SPEAKER_06: So a couple of things if you enjoyed this podcast episode.
1:15:55
SPEAKER_06: One, share this with a render code.
1:15:59
SPEAKER_06: Send them the link.
1:16:01
SPEAKER_06: So just copy it and just send them a message.
1:16:03
SPEAKER_06: Hey, you should listen to this because you and I were talking about how you're frustrated, how you want to move up, and this is what you're gonna get out of it.
1:16:10
SPEAKER_06: Number two, if you really loved it, it would mean so much to me if you could leave a five-star rating in review.
1:16:17
SPEAKER_06: Because my team and I create this as a free resource for everyone to make it accessible.
1:16:24
SPEAKER_06: And you know, I'm a human, I'm not perfect.
1:16:26
SPEAKER_06: If it's not a five-star rating review that you want to leave, and you want to give me feedback, please message me on LinkedIn and Instagram.
1:16:33
SPEAKER_06: I would love to hear your feedback.
1:16:35
SPEAKER_06: And third, if you were like Elaine, this was incredible.
1:16:40
SPEAKER_06: I could only imagine how it would be if I worked with you one-on-one, if I brought you into my team, into my company, then schedule a colleagues.
1:16:49
SPEAKER_06: We can see if it's a good fit to work together.
1:16:52
SPEAKER_06: You go to my website uh ElaineLou.com forward slash college.com slash college.
1:17:04
SPEAKER_06: All right, I'll talk to you.