Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 223. Can we have it all? Or burn out trying? 🥵💡

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223. Can we have it all? Or burn out trying? 🥵💡 · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apodjay Production.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy and I'm Tiana.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: This podcast is.
• 0:15
  Speaker 4: About female empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest,
• 0:18
  Speaker 4: and most authentic version of yourself.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: else is too afraid to talk about.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Get ready for your next level of self.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Hello everybody, Welcome back to she Rises. Happy Monday. We've
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: got a big episode today. Today's episode is all about
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: can we have it all? Or do we burn out trying?
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: We talk about our experiences, our thoughts around this. Is
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: there a beautiful balance or is there seasons? We'll go
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: deep into it before we do. Share of the Weeks
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: want to go first?
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: My Share of the Week is actually a cute little
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: jewelry brand called yicl Oh. Yes, it's just a little
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: pop up I believe in pac Fair and they have
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: these really cute rings. I bought that for four necklace
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: for Ashley for her birthday to Sainty. Cute, isn't it
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: just cute? They have bows like if you like bold jewelry,
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: they have it.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: If you have dainty jewelry.
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: They have that too, and I'm just very much in
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: a season of wanting to build a jelry stack, So
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: that's kind of my focus at them.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: We love jurry, don't mean gold jury.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: How about you Minde's something I saved on Instagram that
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: I feel like maybe men need to hear. Oh, okay,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: what women mean when we say we want it rough?
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I love this post.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: This page is called the feminine editorial. Okay, we don't
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: mean hurt us, we mean lose control a little. Stop
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: being so careful with us. We don't mean ignore our boundaries,
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: we mean push against them, test how much we can take.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: We don't mean be aggressive, we mean be decisive, stop
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: asking for permission for everything. We don't mean choke us unconscious.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: We can put your hand on our throat and make
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: us feel the edge of surrender. We don't mean dominate
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: us violently. We mean take control so completely that we
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: finally stop thinking. Rough isn't about pain, It's about present
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: with intensity is permission to stop performing soft. The gap
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: between what we mean and what you hear, that's where
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: desire gets lost.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: How true is that?
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: I love this post so much?
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: My gosh.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: We had a girlfriend that had a one night stand
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: and she said it was the most awful experience of
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: her life because he was just it was so rough,
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: like so rough with his fingers, with the way they
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: had like he had sex with her.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: She said it was awful. I'm like, that is just
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: not it.
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: Just lots of slamming, literally, that's how to describe it.
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: We were just like, like also but terrified and traumatized
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: for her because it's just not it like she's laughing,
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: which is also like that was awful, And I'm like,
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: what goes through a man's mind to think that a
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: woman enjoys having fingers jammed up her pussy like that
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: fast and hard. The pawn porn is the perfects from
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: one percent one thousand percent, I feel like that's where
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: a lot of I mean, this is a huge generalations
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: to take this to the grain of salt, but a
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: lot of men definitely go to porn for that well,
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: you know, and what they see is what they end
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: up doing. I believe I definitely experience that in my
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: young years.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: For sure.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: I would hate that. Oh it's the worst, not nice.
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And that's coming from somebody who used to quote
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: unquote perform a lot in the bedroom. And now I'm like, oh,
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: that's that's not it, that's not it.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: But that post I was like, that's it.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: It is because such a good description.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: It really is, because I think there's time and place
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: for all different types of sex, but it's still.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Tender down there and pressure. Yes, but take lee.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, take lee be asserted like test the boundaries for sure.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: So I just love that post.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: Today we're talking about can we have it all or
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: do we burn out trying? This is a big topic.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: I think it's different for everyone. My personal belief is yes,
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: we can have it all, but I think there's a
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: process to get there. I don't think you can have
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: it all at once, especially in your building phase. And
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: that's why I really hate when women compare where they're
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: at to other women on line, because you just don't
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: know what season they're in. If you're comparing a successful
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: entrepreneurial woman who's been in business for ten, twenty, potentially
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: thirty years and they're scaled, they're living this amazing life,
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: and you've just had a baby and you're sending out
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: a couple of products of your small business, you can't
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: compare you know, you're in a thick season of motherhood
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: where your baby needs so much time of you, and
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: you're just learning the ropes of even how to run
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: a business. You just put out your first website and
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: you're trying to get some content out. You just can't
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: compare that season. So why you're in a six season
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: of motherhood. I don't believe that's the best time to
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: be really scaling your business. Yeah, Chata, at the moment,
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: fresh twenty seven year old energy, you were in a
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: hustle building, busy season. Yeah, you've got the time and space.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: You're super motivated, You're very clear in your direction, you
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: know where you want to go, and like, that's the
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: time for you.
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: I'm not married, I don't have kids yet, so it's
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: like I am able to be quote unquote more selfish
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: in this time season to like really go all in
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: on that.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And I went through that at your age as well.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: And then I had kids and things had to change
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: and I had to adapt and I had to learn
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: how to juggle it all. And even now I still
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: I don't like saying juggle. I feel like there's a
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: negative association to that word. But it's a blend. It's
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: like a smoothie. You got to put the right ingredients
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: in and it's going to blend up and be nice
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: and smooth, no chunks. I try and just make sure
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: that everything I enjoy in value I find their time for.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: But it takes a lot of structure. It's taken a
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: lot of life experience. It's taken a lot of stretching
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: my capacity, knowing my limits, knowing what I enjoy, and
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: knowing where to put my energy. That's been like a
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: growth and time thing throughout all my twenties and nearly
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: all of my thirties as well. But I think a
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: lot of people can burn out because they're not taking
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: care of themselves in the process. And that's a huge
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: part of it as well. You can't you can only
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: go super super hard for so long whilst you're not
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: taking care of yourself.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Or if you're in your twenties and you're still parting
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: and you're trying to push really hard, your body's going
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: to start to break down. Sure, you're not giving your
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: business your full potential while you're over here having massive weekends.
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah. And it's like when you go on a fitness
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: journey and you do only the six week intensives. Yes,
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: so you don't do something that's sustainable for like years
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  Speaker 4: on end.
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  Speaker 3: Because you want to go really hard, really fast.
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: But you realize it after that six weeks you're like, oh,
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: I need to breathe it now, and you have a
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: break or a little bit of you know, not as intense.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Your motivations dropped off.
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: Yes, that's right, because it's like you've went so hard.
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  Speaker 4: And that's like life in general too. It's like, if
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: you can't sustain the things that you're doing, when you're
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: going to burn out emotionally, not just physically, but emotionally.
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  Speaker 4: You'll burn out and then you'll feel like everything that
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: you're holding and juggling feels really hard and heavy to hold.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Definitely, And I think if you were in that season
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: of fitness, say, you would probably sacrifice some of your
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: social life to go really hard on that to make
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: sure you've got enough recovery. If you're in a thick
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: season of business growing, and we even talk about this too,
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: we don't have as much capacity to be social anymore. Yeah,
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: a lot of our time is spent on our business
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: or it's like with our family, it's like we're not
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: going to every event and catching up with everyone all
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: the time like we used to, because we've got our
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: priorities in place, and that needs our time and attention
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: to be able to scale to where we want to go. Absolutely,
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  Speaker 2: So I do believe you can have it all. But
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: there's different seasons where there's going to be things that
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: are more important that needs more time and attention.
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, depending on what you want to prioritize at any
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: given time. I mean this is kind of how I
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: like have stacked things over the years. Like I don't
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: have necessarily the context around children, but I do in
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: terms of like business relationships, family, social life, you know,
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: doing hobbies and things that are really important to me.
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: And each time I've been like, okay, well a rome
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: wasn't built in a day. I can't do all things
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: at every given time. So it's like, Okay, what's the
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: most important thing to me right now in this season
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: in my life? How can I prioritize that and get
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: that to a point where I feel good mentally, emotionally, physically,
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: and then I can sustain that with a good capacity
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: where I feel like, you know what, I've actually got
• 7:48
  Speaker 4: this under wraps. So, say, for example, if it's fitness
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: and you're wanting to go on a fitness journey, you're like, Okay, well,
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: right now I'm struggling with my food, my exercise, and getting.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: My steps in.
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: Until you feel good with those three things, don't add
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: anything else, true, don't add anything else. If you're in
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: a work season and you want a prior building your
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: own business, prioritize being consistent, showing up and doing the
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: one to three really important tasks very consistently, and don't
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: add anything else until you've nailed those things. I feel
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: like for me, doing that step by step with every
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: single thing in my life allowed me to stack because
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: with each thing that I integrate, right say, I've nailed fitness,
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: and then I nailed my walking, and then I nailed
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: my water, and then all of a sudden, I was
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: doing my bone broth. It's like I add each layer
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: and those feel really good. I'm like, Okay, now I
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: have the capacity to add one more thing. And that's
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: the biggest thing. If you try to go all in
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: and you go really really hard for six weeks, you're
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: not going to be able to juggle all the spinning
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: plates in the air at once. They'll all come crashier.
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: But if you go, okay, I want to get to
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: get one in the air. Now I'm getting the second
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: one in the air, then the third one, and you're
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: spinning those efficiently.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: You're gonna be like, Okay, cool, what's the next best
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: thing that I can do?
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: And I feel like that's really helped me, especially when
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: you know I've had to integrate a new relationship into
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: my life, or say, for example, even now, like with
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: the social thing is very present for me right now.
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: Right now, my focus is work, work, and the people
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: who are really important to me, close people that's it,
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: which is like a handful of people, and my family
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: that's it. But even in and amongst that, my brothers
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: just moved to the Gold Coast, so now I'm integrating
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: time with him now, and then I'm also seeing somebody new,
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: so I'm integrating time with him. And then also like
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: bestie time always a priority. So that's not something I
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: have to integrate. That's already integrated.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: But it's finding how to juggle and blend all of
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: those people, that's right.
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: And when I see other girlfriends, I'm like, I have
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: to space out those girlfriends catch ups because if I
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: have too many of them in a week. That takes
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: away from my work, social, away from my time with Ash,
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: takes away from my time for my brother. So I
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: have to be mindful of how I stack those things
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: so that I know, Okay, I'm not thinking of Tiana
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: right now, who wants to go and have a good time.
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: I'm thinking of Tiana in a month's time when I
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: have four projects running, three new clients on board, and
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to juggle all these things.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: I'm like, how can I take her a future meet
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: in this moment?
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: Prevention?
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, definitely. I think the same with my kids
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: as well. I always think forward when before I say
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: yes to an event, I like, look at that month
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: as to what's happening, say for May, for example, going
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: to Bali for our first international retreats, which.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: So loud and it was so excited.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: And then there was a couple of things that I
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: got invited to before and after. Actually got invited to
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: go to New York last week, which is crazy for
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: a movie premiere. It was very last minute. I had
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: to make a decision. I had to let them know
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: within an hour, and I ended up saying no, it
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: sounds crazy. Because an all expensive trip paid to New
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: York to go to this movie premiere with all the
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: celebrities would have been incredible. But I was like, I'm
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: already going to Ballei in May. It's already tying away
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: from my family. Taj and Steve had just gone to America,
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: so I had two weeks when they were over there
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: having a holiday. I was like, no, I don't want
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: to be away from my family anymore. I've got enough
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: time away from them, you know, just going to Barley.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: So it's like always always thinking ahead and seeing what
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: feels good for you. It could be a hard blend though.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: For sure.
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: And this is something you also said from the very beginning,
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: even in she Rises, you were like, my priority right
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: now is quality time with my family. I don't want
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: to take away from that. And that's something that I
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: want to keep in mind as we move through on
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: this journey. And it's just something You've been honest with
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: it from the very beginning.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: It was after I closed down Baseline, I was very
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: intentional with my time, and as we started to grow
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: and scale, like, yeah, it's very honest with town. I said,
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: I'm never ever going back to how I was working
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: where a clock off work and I go home my
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: phone still attached me while my children are there. Like
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: I want to be able to go home and have
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: the afternoons with them and spend quality time with them,
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: and for my phone not to be in their face. Yeah,
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: Like that's really important to me. So we've been very
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: conscious of how we split our roles and even Ash,
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: which is my old pa, she's on board with us
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: now as well, So anything that we can delegate to
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: her as well, just to make it work. From my
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: lifestyle your lifestyle, we're still taking care of ourselves while
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: we're still working on where we want to go. It's
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: a lot of intentionality, that's for sure.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. Yeah, a lot of conversations something that.
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: You've also taught me a lot about because you have
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: embodied that like you can have it all, you just
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: have to prioritize it. Yes, And I think that's been
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: really beautiful to win in you because it's also helped
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: me do that in my own life as well of
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: going okay cool, what's actually important to me and what
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: am I actually prioritizing or not And it's like just
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: going okay cool, Like if I want it, I can
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: have it, but I have to make sure that I'm
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: being intentional with my time. I'm creating space for it.
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: I'm not dropping off in any other area of my life,
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: and I'm making little tweaks to make sure that i
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: can fit it in without it taking away from something
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: else that's also important to me. And knowing that, like,
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: you get to have variety, and I think that's the
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: biggest thing we both as a Gemini end Sagy, both
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: of us really value freedom and we also really value
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: variety too, and we're like, okay, cool, how can we
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: create this variety in our lives that allows us to
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: do what we want, enjoy what we want, get like
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: bits of fulfillment from literally every which way, and have
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: fun while doing it. But it doesn't come without hard work,
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: and it doesn't come without consistency, discipline, commitment to the
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: things that you are prioritizing in your life.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: For being so clear on that, because like, how do
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: we feel free in our relationship? How do we feel
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: free within our work? Because there's still mass responsibility in
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: holding a marriage together, having children, building a business, like
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: there's huge responsibility in that.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: So how do we get that in what we do?
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: And I know that maybe your mum's listening right now.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: We've got a girl friend right now who's going through
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: a tough time and she's a single mommer, and you know,
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: she is absolutely stretched to the max, and we've had
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: conversations with her like okay for this the next three
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: months while you are transitioning into co parenting. It's a
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: thick motherhood season. Yeah, and she's working full time. I'm like,
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to sugarcoat this's gonna be tough, but
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: like you can come around to our house and have
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: dinner with us, our doors always open.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: You need help, We're here for you the whole time.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: But with this transition, like that is going to be
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: your focus, and that's the season you're in, Like, this
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: is the season where you're not going to have all
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: the freedom to go to dance class and to go
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: for morning walks and to be social and everything. And
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: you're just like setting up this new season of your
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: life and what that's going to look like.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: And that's that's a lot to hold.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: So that's why comparison is just the worst thing that
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: you can do, because it's just everyone's lives are so
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: so different and at different stages as well.
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that you mentioned that about the girlfriend
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: of ours as well, Like it could be even maybe
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: you're going through a season of like a breakup. Yeah,
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: And if you're going through a breakup, you'll know that
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: whenever you go through something challenging or hard, sometimes even
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: the mundane tasks.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: Of life feel really hard.
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: So this is why that comparison that you were mentioning
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: is such a thief of joy because when you are
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: comparing let's say somebody who's you know, building a business
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: or you're doing things, or is also a parent and
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: building a business or something, and you're looking at that
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: and you're going, I've just gone through a breakup.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: I can't even get out of bed in the morning.
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: Literally, there's no comparison, Like, you have to go through
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: that hardship in that season and do what you specifically
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: need to do, Like you have to focus on yourself
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: solely and actually put your blinders onto what everybody else
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: is doing until you feel like you can breathe again,
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: or until you feel like you've gotten to a really
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: good place where you can do what we were talking
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: about before and start stacking and integrating another area of
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: life into your life.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: And I know I've mentioned this moon times, but for me, yeah,
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: planning is super important.
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: So like we both have our calendars. Mine's color coordinated,
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: and I make sure every week that everything they want
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: and value is in there. And if I'm finding it
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: hard to fit in, I'm still flexible and adaptable that
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: if it doesn't happen that week, it might happen the
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: week after. But that's a big conversation with Steve. It's like,
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: what have you got on this week? What's your non negotiables?
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: What's important for you? Okay, you've got tennis Monday night. Cool,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: I'll go dancing Thursday night. Yeah, you got this on
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: the weekend. Cool, we'll tag team here. I've got the
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: kids here, I'm going away for the podcast on Monday.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: We need to get a babysitter while you're at tennis.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: Like it's there's a big dugle, lots of conversation, but
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: having everything in my calendar, if it's not.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Important to me, it's probably not in there.
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: But if it's important to me, I'm going to make
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: sure it's in there. Because the lise it's not going
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: to happen because I's busy, kids, and work, and it
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: just everything gets a lot sometimes, So maybe do like
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: an audit of your life and really get super crystal
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: clear on what you're wanting, how often you're wanting it,
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: how do I fit in, how do I make this work?
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: What needs to change? What do I need to sacrifice?
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: Where do I want to be in three months? What
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: do I need to do to get there in three
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: months time? Just really dig deep on what to do
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: to get there.
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: Organization and he is such a portant part of all
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: of this because when you can do all of that
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: and then you look at what you're currently doing right
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: now and how you're currently utilizing your time, there's likely
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: that there's going to be a couple of hours in
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: your day that you can find, depending on how busy
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: a schedule is, and your priority is that you're scrolling
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: or you're watching hours and hours worth a TV series,
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: or maybe there are all these moments and micro moments
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: of things that you're doing right now to help give
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: you relief of like, oh, you know, like numbing out
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: a bit, numbing out, this is my white down time whatever,
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: But you know, and those things get to be true,
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: You get to have that like I've recently started watching
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: TV series and stuff like that, and I love it.
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: I get a kick out of it. But I do
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: those things once all my other priorities. Yes, Like, that's
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: my rule with myself. I cannot watch this TV show
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: until I've done everything that I.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: Need to do to the day.
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: Otherwise I'm going to sit there. I'm going to feel
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: guilty about it. I'm not guilty, but I'm going to
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: have in my head like I haven't finished my to
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: do list.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: It's really important to me.
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: And then I'm like, then I set myself up on
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: a bad note for the next and then it's like
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: that's how you start to chase your tail and then
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: you start to fall into guilt and shame when you're like,
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: oh my gosh, now I'm behind, and it can be
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: a vicious cycle. So it's like, okay, cool, what can
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: I do? It's something that I used to always do. Actually,
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: what can I do now that's going to make me
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: be able to rest later?
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: Oh that's nice.
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: So prioritizing, Okay, if there's something that I'm putting off
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: right now, what do I need to do? And then
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: futurity and I can rest and I can also like
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: doing it like that because we like then I can rest,
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: then I can rest.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: There's a quote like that, it's like, if you choose
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: hard now to be easy tomorrow. Yeah, choose easy today,
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: it'll be hard tomorrow.
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: That's a beautiful one.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: I really like that. And it's the same with money.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: You know, I know someone you know, they complain a
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: lot about money always being broke. I wouldn't understand, can't
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: pay the bills. But then I like, take two seconds
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: look at their social media on the weekend. They're getting cocktails,
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: they're smoking a packet of cigarettes, they're out drinking, socializing,
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: getting takeaway food. I'm like, wow, there's probably at least
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: turning fifty dollars there. Wow, you said that up for
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: a month. Yeah, that's you've in front one thousand dollars
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: that are right there. So if you want to go
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: on that holiday, I think you prioritize it.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: That's so good.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, really look at what your money's and
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: even if you're not a smoker and a drink collect
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: there's things like app subscriptions, do you have Netflix paramounts,
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: stand Uber eatsfee day daily coffees, fourteen dollar mashes or whatever, Yeah,
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: there is so many little areas that if you needed to,
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: you could pull back. Yeah, and it would make big
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: impact over a long period of time if you wanted
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: to go on a holiday or save for a deposit.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: I think there's always a way. Of course, the living
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: is a lot these days. Once again, okay, well is
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: there another way I can earn more money?
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: Thinking outside the box?
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I kind of squeeze more lemon? How that?
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, a lemon that's saying it's so good.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: I know, it's so cooled.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: There's so much opportunity online these days to earn more
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: money into do different things.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: We're so lucky. We live in a generation where there is.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: So much opportunity and it's for free too. If you
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: think about like sixty years ago, in order to build
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: a business, you had to have a brick and mortar business.
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: You had to pay for rent, you had to pay overheads,
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: you had to pay stuff. You can go on social
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: media for free and market your business, which means, depending
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: on what avenue you're in, you can have absolutely no
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: overheads and make eighteen to ninety percent profits.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Especially the last couple of weeks AI, which.
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: Is bizarre, the opportunity that we have if you are
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: willing to grab it by the balls and make it your.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: Own, is out of this world, especially now with AI
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: on the weekend. Soeve found this aar he's looking to
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: all into it now and it's crazy. It took this
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: AI app like literally five minutes to do a whole
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: landing page.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: He just took our retreat page.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: It's like research our personal instagrams, our retreats, everything, we've done, everything,
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: we've sold, everything we've said, and it came out with
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: this whole landing page and it was done a five minutes.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: It's so cool.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: I was like, wow, there's a few obviously, get a
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: graphic designer to pay that you've got a brief and
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of back and forth. It can be
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: a week or two before you've even got a landing page.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: And even with things like with hyder Way or if
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: we want to try something, it's like, okay, cool, we
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: can get that up and running within ten minutes.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Now trial it.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: If it doesn't work, you pivot change it. There's so
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: much option shit out there now. Yeah, we're very very lucky.
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and not needing all these external resources and tools
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: like you can have them literally at the disposal your hands,
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: which is so cool. Yeah, yeah, I like what you
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: mentioned as well. Coming back into the money thing, I
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: like what you said.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: What's the thing.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: It's like, show me your bank account and I'll show
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: you what you valued.
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah that's not love that because when I used to
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: be really bad with spending and complain that I didn't
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: have money, Yeah, I would go and buy designer stuff
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: because the designer stuff made me feel better about my
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: situation that I was in financially. But it was my
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: own spending that was putting me in that situation. And
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: then I remember, you know, like I would make a
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: thousand or fifteen hundred dollars from work and then I'd
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: spend a thousand on.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: A leave on bag.
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that doesn't support me wanting and having all of
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: the things that I want, you know. So I remember
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: putting in like a limit and like a made a
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: pack with myself of like I'm not going to spend
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: anything other than essentials so that I can one create
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: a better relationship with money, create a healthy relationship with money,
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: and then also know that like if I want to
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: then buy something, I can because I'm always in front. Yeah,
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: you know, because I'm not spending because I'm try trying
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: to feel avoid or make myself feel better about something.
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: I'm actually addressing the problem. What was the thing that
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: I sent.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: To you today?
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: Is like people who make themselves needed avoid their own life.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: Yes, it's just about avoidance, definitely.
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: Like it's just interesting, like the things that we do
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: to avoid looking at the areas that are actually really
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: important to us. So it's like I'd get curious for
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: anyone who's listening of like, is there any area in
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: your life that you may be avoiding because it feels
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: a little bit uncomfortable?
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: You know. And when you say you want this big life,
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: you're a dreamer, You've got a big vision.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: What are you're actually doing about it?
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: Deep down?
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: You know you have this fire in your chest that
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: you want to create something of your own?
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: What are you doing about it?
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Do you actually like your daily actions?
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: How will your daily actions supporting and setting you up
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: to actually get that outcome and make sure that you
• 21:52
  Speaker 4: don't get any other outcome than the one that you want?
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: What stories you're attaching it? How you justifying what excuses
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: you're making? It's hard, truth, isn't it? But at the
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: end of the day, we've all we've got decisions to
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: make that are they're going to put us in directionary
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: on or they're going to keep us.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: Stuck about where we're at.
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: Something that I said to my client the other day.
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: Actually we were having a conversation. She's a beautiful human
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: and she also really struggles with comparison and she finds
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: herself and something that I relate to. I experienced this
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: in the past as well, where she's so envious of
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: people on social media that she can't even look. She's like,
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: I can't I get triggered every post, every scroll. She's
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: like a town, I can't even go on social media
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: anymore without getting anxious and like feeling like so much
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: anxiety in my body. She's like, maybe I just need
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: a break from social media. And I was like, yes,
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: can I challenge you on something? You know? And I
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: was like, do you feel like you just need a
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: break from social media because dealing with the feeling of
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: not having what you want is too overwhelming for you
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: right now?
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: And she was like, yeah, absolutely.
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: And the thing that I said to her, I was like,
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: do you want my most harsh, honest, like undeniable truth
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: about the situation that you're in. I said, you can't
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: get around taking action. There's no mindset shift, there's no
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: aff a, there's no nothing that you can do or
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: try to apply to your life that is going to
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: exceed what action will.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: Do for you.
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: And she's like, you know what, You're so right, Tiana,
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, you want to stop feeling that comparison
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: and looking and wondering about what everybody else is doing.
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: The moment you start taking action, you're going to be
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: so busy worrying about what your next steps are that
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: you're actually going to start drowning out all the noise
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: of what everybody else is doingcause your journey and what
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: you're working towards is going to become so much more
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: important than what everybody else is doing.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: On social media, Yeah, it's also a big wake up call.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: The whole comparison of her not being able to look
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: at certain accounts like who are you following? I know
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: I follow people that yes, they show their lavish lifestyle,
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: but they also talk about the shit they've had to
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: do to get there, talked about their fouls, talk about
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: going bankrupt, they talk about losing all their money, They
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: talked about the big risks talked about when they were
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: living on their friend's couch. They've talked about the whole journey.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: So that's just like look at my nice cars and
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: fancy house. It's like, fuck, I've had to work so
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: freaking hard to get here. Like that's the kind of
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: people that I follow. I even saw this girl the
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: other day that I followed on social media and she
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: is beautiful, but I saw a real life and I
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: had to double take to be like, oh, is that her?
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: And I went onto a profile and I was like, wow,
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: she 's this face Tune twenty four seven. She barely
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: now I've seen her in real life. I was like, wow,
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: it's so obvious she uses this app. But it's sad
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: because you see young women looking at that, comparing their
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: skin or how bright her eyes or how perfect everything looks.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: It was like a real life. It's still gorgeous, but
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: that's not real.
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: She looks like a human.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but these young girls might be looking at her
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: and just thinking they're so ugly or they'll never have
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: that glowing skin that she's got.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: But it's like beneath the does she yeah, neither does.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: She don't compare yourself to online because majority of the
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: time it's not real, or if you're following people like that,
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: like follow the people that actually show the hardships as well. Yeah,
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: they're the people that I find really inspiring and also
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: as well, what do you want to be feeding yourself too? Literally, like,
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: because what you consume you are influenced by, whether you
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: or not consciously or unconsciously.
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: You can sit there and say, oh no, no, that
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: doesn't bother me. This is so random. But it's like
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: my dad, right, He's like like, I don't watch the
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: news this and that, but he'll watch the news updates
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: on YouTube and I'm like.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: Dad, it's the same thing.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: Same with Steven Twitter. It's I kind of watch the news,
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: but he keeps up with every fuck.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Up on Twitter.
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, he always comes to me with all
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: these things. Dad, you're watching the news.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: He's like, no, I'm not.
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: And I'm like He's like, no, no, no, I don't
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: let it get to me. I'm like, oh my god.
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: If only still goes in, it still goes in.
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: You consume it, it's going into your subconscious mind, like
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: you're consuming it whether you like it or not. So definitely,
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: be mindful of like what you're consuming. And also if
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: you are feeling jealous, it's like what are you making
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: that mean about it? Yeah?
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: And what is it you're wanting? It's hireling something that
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: you want? What are you doing to get there? Because
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: you know, I how to sit there and be a
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: victim and be jealous and just sit in that yacky energy.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, shit, that must mean something to me.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: No, what I want?
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: What am I going to do to get there?
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: And the interesting thing about what you're feeling and experiencing
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: if you are going through this right now, is that
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: every single person who has ever succeeded has gone through
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: the same initiation that you're going through right now. This
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: is an initiation. Yeah, what you're feeling right now is
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: the cost of entry to building anything that you actually want.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: So true. No one is exempt from that. Nope. And
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: that's just the thing that you don't see.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. That's really cool.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Well I hope that's land for someone out there. Hopefully
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: you can take one or two things away from there,
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: just to do a big audit to a mindset shift,
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: to a perspective, to look at your life and see
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: what you can shuffle around to get to where you
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: want to go.
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: Yep, implement one thing at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: by trying to do everything all at once. Rome wasn't
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: built in a day. Just nail one thing before you
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: move on.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: Definitely, but I do believe you can't have it all,
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: just maybe not all at once. There's different seasons in life,
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: so whatever season you're in, enjoy that. But if something
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: doesn't feel good, you also have the power to change that.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: Pivot heavet.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: But I love you guys. We'll see you on Wednesday
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: for our best episode. Bye bye.