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The World's Most Expensive [Plant-Based] Ramen?!? · Blush

0:00
Real talk, this ramen is going to cost close to $500.00 so it
0:04
better be fucking good. Sam's Truthfully, this is
0:18
largely for Ozzy. He loves ramen, like it's
0:21
literally one of his favorite foods and you know I can be such
0:27
a cunt all the time. So I try to just do nice sweet
0:30
things for him and make him cool stuff.
0:33
He knows I'm making him ramen. He has no idea about the truffle
0:37
and I can't wait to surprise him.
0:40
Of course, assuming it ends up being good, we'll see.
0:44
So we're going to start by making our ramen base.
0:48
Broth I think is the word I'm looking for.
0:51
Maybe not base. So I'm going to saute some
0:55
onions first. That's two diced yellow onions.
1:02
Once these soften a little, I'm going to add garlic.
1:05
Usually I do like 10 cloves of garlic, but I only have like 4
1:11
cloves left so we're just going to roll with it.
1:13
Whatever, I'm sure it'll be fine.
1:16
Also, I need to start using a spoon rest.
1:19
Like look at that trash. I'm in a weird mood today if I'm
1:25
being fully honest. Probably not the best of days to
1:29
be recording. I am still having sinus issues
1:34
and I have so much lymph build up.
1:38
Like my face is so puffy. My nose is so puffy.
1:43
I am actually truly terrified that it's not a sinus thing and
1:47
that it could be a tooth thing, but I don't think so.
1:49
I think that's just my biggest fear.
1:51
But yeah, I just feel very, you know, those days where you just
1:54
don't feel cute? Like I just do not feel cute.
1:57
Like no matter what I do, I don't feel cute.
2:00
Again, a lot of it is because my nose is so puffy.
2:03
I care even less honestly, about my cheeks being puffy.
2:07
I care a lot about my nose being this puffy.
2:09
I don't like it but whatever. I'm so pumped for this ramen.
2:14
Like I really really hope it ends up being good.
2:17
If not, it's going to be a fantastic waste of, I'm not even
2:20
joking, fucking $500. Like who does this?
2:24
Like Italy? Could you please sponsor
2:27
someone? Anyone.
2:28
I'll take anyone at this point but I think it could be so good.
2:32
And if it's good, we're going to change the game with our fucking
2:36
ramen. No, listen, you might be like,
2:39
OK, I'm not going to spend like 1/2 a grand on something that
2:43
should cost $0.99. And I hear you.
2:47
You don't have to do the truffle.
2:49
Like you could just make a normal ramen.
2:52
And I'll kind of talk you through how you can adapt this
2:55
to make it, you know, just kind of a standard plant based ramen
3:00
that still tastes really rich and creamy, but it's in reality
3:06
a lot lighter. I also was wearing cashmere
3:10
first. But then I remembered, was it
3:13
last week, last week that we did the French inspired recipe?
3:17
I remembered how hot I was that day.
3:19
And I was like, let's go ahead and put on something sheer and
3:22
airy and loose and breezy. So here we are.
3:28
OK, I'm going to keep letting this go for a bit.
3:32
Now here's kind of the run of the episode.
3:35
We're going to get the broth going.
3:37
I'll move it to the stove in the back so it's out of the way.
3:41
And then we'll make the plant based egg.
3:44
And then we'll roast some veggies for the ramen and boil
3:49
the noodles. And then we'll combine
3:50
everything and fucking eat. So excited.
3:54
And I'm actually beside, besides just the regular truffle thing,
3:58
I'm doing a few things different.
4:00
So this is pretty experimental. We'll see how it goes, but I
4:04
kind of want to know from you, do you like it when it's a less
4:08
tested recipe and we find out together in real time if it's
4:12
going to be good or not? Or do you prefer a recipe that
4:16
I've tested and retested and retested and I know it's going
4:19
to be good? Like, are you here for the story
4:22
or are you here to get a legit functioning good recipe?
4:26
Like let me know because I'm comfortable either way.
4:29
I did write some notes on a little blush card just of how I
4:33
want to do the recipe based on how I've done ramen in the past.
4:37
Obviously the outlier here is the white truffle.
4:40
All right, I'm going to grab the garlic, and usually I would chop
4:44
up the garlic a little, but I'm not going to because it's going
4:47
to get blended in anyway. So like, who gives a shit, you
4:50
know? No, I'm like, so hungry and so
4:58
excited. Also, we're not doing a drink
5:00
this episode at all. Maybe I'll grab do you know
5:04
these Sanzo drinks, their flavored sparkling waters and I
5:10
really, really love these because the flavors light.
5:13
Everything about it is pretty light.
5:15
Now they did reformulate and now they have sugar.
5:19
By the way, these are all gifted I should say.
5:21
They have reformulated since they first sent them to me and
5:24
now they have a bit of sugar in them, but it's so little.
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Like 1 can of this has 1 grams of added, one gram of added
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sugar. Like really not the end of the
5:35
world. The whole thing has 5 calories.
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I like that there aren't a lot of like, artificial sweeteners,
5:40
although there is a little monk fruit juice extract.
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But yeah, this is a yuzu flavor with a little bit of ginger.
5:47
I might just have 1 and I don't usually.
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I did tell Ozzy earlier I was like, no, we do not do
5:52
carbonated things on recording day because, you know, I don't
5:55
want to get bloated or burp. Like how gross, but whatever,
6:00
it's kind of on theme with ramen to have a Japanese drink.
6:03
You know, this is looking pretty good.
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So see how they're Browning a little.
6:09
Now we have a bit of flavor. I'm going to kind of add
6:13
everything else. So I'm going to do about 7 cups
6:18
of water in here. I say about because I am going
6:21
to kind of eyeball it. So this is 4 cups.
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I know 'cause I measured it, so I'm just going to kind of
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guesstimate how to add another 3.
6:35
Yeah, that should be about 3 more cups right there.
6:41
By the way, how chic is this? I got it in Mexico City, and you
6:44
probably can't see on camera, but it's very thick glass, like
6:49
really, really thick. And you can see the air bubbles
6:53
in the glass. Like, I don't know, it's just so
6:55
chic. Speaking of chic, look at my
6:58
shit in a zip lock bag. I'm doing seven of these dried
7:02
shiitake caps. We're going to take these out.
7:06
What's that? 567 and a couple of sheets of
7:13
kombu. I like to use specific kombu
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because it's sturdier. I think that's kind of the only
7:20
reason. I kind of like the flavor more,
7:22
although I don't know if it's really even that different.
7:25
I've heard people, and by people I don't mean scientists or
7:30
doctors, I mean people who claim that they are channeling God
7:34
about nutrition information without dropping any names, say
7:38
that you should only have Atlantic Kombu and not Pacific.
7:42
But I haven't heard anything real that would corroborate
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that. So we're going to move this pot
7:50
off of here. Oof, onto the stove, stove and
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move on with our lives. OK, now it's time for the egg.
7:58
Now this is one of my most tested.
8:01
No, not one of. I think it's literally my most
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tested and researched recipe out there.
8:08
I spent months before I even got in the kitchen.
8:12
I literally spent months with an Excel sheet.
8:15
And that's a lie. It's technically not an Excel
8:17
sheet. I technically used a Google
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sheet, but literally no one gives a shit.
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I spent months on that fucking Google sheet thinking of
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ingredients that could mimic an egg texture, appearance, taste,
8:32
et cetera. But that would also have
8:34
nutrients that are similar to an actual egg.
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Is it perfectly in line? No, but it's pretty fucking
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close. And I'm going to say something
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crazy. Hear me out.
8:45
I think the egg white tastes better than a real egg white.
8:50
The egg yolk, not so much. And the reason the egg yolk
8:52
doesn't taste as good as a real egg yolk is because I wanted to
8:55
make it lighter. A real egg yolk is just like 99%
8:59
fat. I wanted one that's a little bit
9:02
lighter but still has similar ish nutrients.
9:05
There's some that are missing. It's like pretty impossible to
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get the amount of choline that you would get from a chicken egg
9:13
from any sort of plants. So like the choline is not going
9:16
to be even close. But I did try to make it
9:19
nutritionally analogous. Now that's just for the
9:23
nutrients. And then came the R&D, if you
9:27
will, with the actual making of the egg.
9:30
And there were a few issues I ran into, and I just kept doing
9:34
it over and over and over again. Ultimately, this was the best
9:37
solution that I found. So we're going to start with
9:39
this is Agar powder. If you're not familiar, I
9:43
believe Agar is a type of seaweed or it comes from a type
9:46
of seaweed or something to that extent.
9:49
And it's kind of used as a vegan collagen alternative.
9:53
Also, for this recipe, I really recommend using an immersion
9:57
blender. I found that using my big stand
10:00
up Vitamix. This is a Vitamix immersion
10:02
blender, by the way. I fucking love Vitamix in this
10:04
household. But I found that using the stand
10:06
up Vitamix blender, like one of the really cool things about a
10:09
Vitamix is that it can whip a lot of air into things, which I
10:13
think is amazing for 99.9% of recipes.
10:18
Like there's some recipes of mine that I'm like, don't even
10:21
make it if you're not going to make it in a Vitamix because
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you're not going to be able to get that aeration that's going
10:26
to make it so good. But for this one, we don't want
10:28
air bubbles. And it's really hard to not get
10:31
air bubbles. And the best way that I found is
10:33
using an immersion blender. So we're going to start with,
10:35
let me just double check to make sure I have it right.
10:37
Yeah, 2 teaspoons of this Agar powder.
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This is 1/2 teaspoon thing. So we're going to do four of
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these and 2/3 cup of water. I'm just going to use the
10:55
immersion blender to blend it a little bit.
11:05
See how we already have fucking air bubbles?
11:10
You know you do your best. Let me actually try to pop them
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a little. Yeah.
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OK, now I'm going to throw this in the microwave and we're going
11:23
to go for 32nd increments. So actually hold on.
11:28
See how this looks now, just visually.
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OK, got it. So in the microwave you're going
11:37
to wait for it to bubble up and then it's time to take it out
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and the whole consistency and appearance is going to
11:45
completely change. Just so you know what to look
11:48
for. Good time for me to have more of
11:50
these. You know what, I might have a
11:54
code for this brand if you want to order them.
11:56
They're also on Amazon now, so I'll make sure to link if at
11:59
minimum and if I have a code, I'll let you know.
12:02
They have a bunch of other flavors too.
12:04
OK, so this not quite ready yet. I just put on another 60
12:11
seconds, but I'm going to monitor it.
12:13
As soon as it's ready, I'm going to pop it out and start blending
12:16
and adding stuff. So I'll actually just talk you
12:18
through. So I'm going to add a quarter of
12:20
a teaspoon of of this. It's called black salt.
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Now you might notice it's not black in the way that we know
12:29
the color black. It's from Pakistan I believe and
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it's a very high sulfur salt. And the reason that we use this
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is because eggs have a lot of sulfur in them, and adding this
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gives it that eggy feel like as soon as this interacts with
12:48
liquid, it smells like egg. Everything fucking smells like
12:52
egg. We're not going to use too much
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of it though, because I feel like the sulfury quality of eggs
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is not like anyone's favorite thing about eggs, you know?
13:02
Shit, I wasn't monitoring this at all, but see how it looks
13:05
pretty different? I'm going to put it in for a bit
13:07
more and just see if it's bubbling up because I was not
13:10
paying attention. Whoopsie.
13:13
You know I'm reading a sci-fi book right now.
13:14
So I learned in the sci-fi book that apparently the mesh thing
13:22
on microwaves is what prevents you from like, your headaches
13:25
loading when you stand right up against the microwave.
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So the microwaves are big enough to like, the light waves of a
13:36
microwave are big enough. Hold on, the story can wait.
13:42
Oh my God, I just knocked all the black salt out.
13:45
Great, great, great. Off to a great start.
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It'll be really fun if I fuck this up on camera.
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OK, all righty. Cool, cool, cool.
13:55
By the way, if you're wondering why there are 350 measuring
13:59
spoons here, you're going to find out in a second.
14:01
I keep ordering more and Aussie's like, seriously, do we
14:03
need this many measuring spoons? And I'm like, we literally do.
14:07
Yes, I wish there was a way to make this go even milder, but
14:14
unfortunately there is not. So now while this is spinning,
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I'm going to pour in the soy milk.
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So we're going to do a cup and a half of soy milk.
14:33
Now a little tip with this, the more the liquid line goes above
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the bulbous part of the blending, the less aeration
14:44
you're going to get. OK, not too bad bubbles wise.
14:49
I'll see what I can get rid of if you will.
14:52
Jesus Christ with this fork 'cause as it turns out, real egg
15:03
whites don't have air bubbles on the top.
15:07
So now I have my egg mold. I'll link these.
15:12
I got it on Amazon. We're going to pour these in and
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then we're going to use all the measuring spoons to create a
15:20
cavity for the egg yolk. Also, how fun is it to say the
15:24
word cavity when you know what it literally means and it's no
15:27
longer the scary like dentist word?
15:30
Unfortunately, literally all of these have air bubbles.
15:33
Now, if the bubbles can sit in where the yolk cavity is, non
15:40
issue because the fake yoke is going to go in there anyway, you
15:45
know what I mean? But if they're all over the
15:48
place like a lot of these are, and you don't have a lot of time
15:51
because the Agar starts to set quite quickly.
15:57
I actually was going to film this like on a different day,
16:00
and then I was like, fuck it, it sets in like 10 minutes, so
16:03
we're going to have to be waiting for the broth anyway.
16:06
All right, let's start putting spoons in.
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I'm putting the like worst spoons in the shittier ones and
16:24
the better spoons in. And by better I mean in terms of
16:28
size, like the size of the cavity that you want.
16:31
Now when I tell you this recipe truly ends up being quite yummy,
16:35
like I genuinely think this version OK, bit of a shit show,
16:41
no worries. Tastes better than a real egg
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does. And I know you might not believe
16:47
me or a real egg white does. I know you might not believe me,
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but I genuinely believe that. Then again, that might be why
16:54
I'm vegan, you know? Who knows.
16:56
Anyway, I'm going to go move these and then we'll start.
17:00
Maybe we'll do the veggies first and then we'll do the egg yolk
17:05
and then we'll finish the ramen and cook the noodles and
17:08
assemble everything. Yay, yay, yay.
17:09
I'm just going to Preheat the oven because we are putting the
17:12
veggies in here, so I can't wait to sweat my fucking ass off over
17:17
here. I'm doing convection roast at
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400 F. You don't have to do convection
17:22
roast. I just find that it cooks
17:23
quicker, so that's it. OK.
17:25
For the veggies, I mean you can do whatever you want.
17:29
Mushrooms obviously pair really nicely with truffles.
17:33
So we are going to do a lot of mushrooms and I have a few
17:37
different types. I have these white beach
17:40
mushrooms, I have some brown beach mushrooms and some
17:48
shiitake and some little baby king oysters.
17:52
So for these for the shiitake's, I'm going to pull the stems off
17:58
because they can be really tough.
17:59
You can actually save your stems and use them the next time you
18:03
want to make a broth or you can compost them or you can just,
18:07
you know, throw them in the trash like a normal person.
18:10
Whatever you want to do is fucking fine.
18:13
I did used to always save mine for making broth, but then
18:16
sometimes I just get lazy and I throw them out, you know?
18:19
So fun fact about me is I don't think I've ever had what is it
18:25
called? Do you know that ramen like the
18:27
ready 2 minute, the instant noodles, are they called instant
18:30
noodles? I think that's what they're
18:32
called. I don't think I've ever had
18:34
that. Like I've never heard of ramen
18:36
really before I moved to America.
18:38
But also I moved to America. I was 11, it was 1999, you know,
18:43
not to itch myself. So at the time there just wasn't
18:47
stuff like that in Germany, like instant food and stuff like
18:50
that, like I'd never heard of. So just the concept of a doodle
18:55
that you just pour hot water over and it's like ready in 2
19:00
minutes. Like it's just not something we
19:02
ever did in my household. So for these little B.B.
19:05
King oysters, I'm going to do a little, what's it called?
19:09
A crosshatch? Is that what it's called?
19:11
This little grid? It's like graphing paper, right?
19:17
Is that what it was called in math class?
19:18
Graphing paper, I think so I should know, is really good at
19:22
math. One of my biggest regrets in
19:24
life is not studying math like making math my major.
19:28
If I could go back to school now, I would do a double major,
19:32
one being math and the other I think I would design my own like
19:36
science major and do some like biology, some physics, some
19:42
chemistry. Like that's the shit I was
19:45
always good at. Well, mostly math.
19:48
But when I went to college, I was like, oh, I should study
19:50
international affairs because I speak 3 languages, one of them
19:56
being Farsi. Like that's going to be
19:58
valuable. That's how I'll make money.
20:00
Now, if there are any like high school seniors listening #1
20:05
like, please don't you know, I marked that this is not
20:09
appropriate for children, and it is not. #2 I don't think you
20:14
should go to college. See, like if you already were
20:20
listening, like your parents are going to ban you from listening
20:23
now. No, I mean, if you want to be
20:25
like a doctor or a lawyer or a field that really requires
20:29
having gone to college, like totally go to college.
20:32
OK, I'm going to stop. We're not going to use like that
20:33
many. But if you're just going to
20:35
college, like the reason that everyone, my generation went to
20:39
college, which is that you think that you have to go to college
20:43
to get a good job. I feel like times have changed
20:45
and that just isn't really true anymore.
20:48
But also if you do go to college because like your parents are
20:51
going to pay for it anyway, or like, I think if you don't have
20:54
to take out student loans, then everyone should go to college.
20:56
By the way, this is Bok toy. I'm going to cut off the
20:59
flowering bits because actually I'm just going to cut off the
21:03
more like green bits bits in general because those won't
21:07
roast well. And we'll roast a couple of
21:10
these two for inside the ramen. And then we're going to save the
21:13
green bits. So the leaves I'm just going to
21:16
like throw into the broth and let them cook like that.
21:20
And the flowering bits we'll keep for decor because this is
21:25
Heba at the end of the day. But yeah, if you do go to
21:28
college, I would really recommend like take the classes
21:32
that interest you because you're going to to do well in those
21:36
classes. And you can always like, so long
21:39
as you take some useful classes or whatever, like you can
21:42
always. It's like, it really doesn't
21:45
matter. Like I had a friend in college.
21:47
OK, so this is our baking tray. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:49
I'm going to put it in the oven and then we're just going to yap
21:54
for a minute. So I had a friend in college who
21:58
was pre Med. Like she wanted to go to Med
22:00
school and she was majoring in art history and she did the
22:03
whole pre Med curriculum, but she really liked art history.
22:06
So that's what she majored in. So that's just kind of a more
22:09
extreme example of take what interests you.
22:13
Like I think college is wasted on the youth.
22:15
It really is like if I went back to college now, I would fuck it
22:19
up. Like you pay so much money.
22:20
Do you know how much money you're paying for that shit?
22:22
Like you could, I got a free education on YouTube.
22:24
Like don't go to college, honestly.
22:26
Anyway, OK, these are in the oven.
22:29
Let me grab some stuff and we're going to do the egg yolk and
22:33
we're going to do it in a completely different way than
22:35
I've ever done it before. We'll see how it goes, and I'm
22:38
going to talk you through my rationale.
22:41
OK? A few things happened during
22:42
that break. Number one, I peed for maybe
22:45
like the 35th time in the past two hours.
22:49
So I did a lot of manual lymphatic drainage on myself
22:52
this morning to kind of help clear whatever kind of
22:55
congestion I have going on. And I think it must be taking
22:58
effect now because I keep peeing.
23:00
And I did look in the mirror, and I thought I looked
23:03
significantly less puffy. I don't know, maybe, maybe not.
23:06
So it was #1 #2 I turned to the broth stock pot that off because
23:12
that's good. We'll address that in a few.
23:15
And #3 I put a big pot of water on for our noodles.
23:20
And I'll talk about the noodles later.
23:22
But oh, and I also sprayed a little avocado oil on the
23:25
veggies in the oven. I didn't do it at first because
23:29
mushrooms have a lot of water in them.
23:32
And I guess for having optimal mushroom flavor, by the way,
23:38
because he gave me this knife for my first birthday when we
23:41
were together. Not my literal 1st birthday
23:45
because he didn't know me then. That would have been a little
23:47
pedophilic if he did. But he had it engraved.
23:51
It says plant queen on it. That was the name of my iPhone
23:54
at the time. This is such an embarrassing
23:56
story. So in 2019, I was listening to
24:01
this podcast, and this girl who's a comedian said on the
24:04
podcast, her name's Rachel, that she had named her iPhone.
24:07
You know, you name your phone. Do you know what I'm talking
24:10
about? If you have Apple products, like
24:11
your phone has a name, if you didn't name it anything, it's
24:14
probably like iPhone 1, iPhone 2, iPhone 3, whatever.
24:17
And then when you AirDrop things to people, the name shows up.
24:20
So this girl, Rachel, who's a comedian, said that she named
24:23
her iPhone Rachel the comedian. And the other trick was like,
24:27
yeah, it's like manifestation. And I was like, oh, what should
24:30
I name my iPhone so I can manifest too?
24:35
And so I was like, oh, I'll leave it Plant Queen because I
24:39
don't know what the fuck I was doing with my life.
24:41
I just knew I was doing something plant adjacent.
24:43
And so when Ozzy and I first started dating, my phone was
24:47
named Plant Queen. And I don't know how he found
24:49
out, but it was like so embarrassing.
24:52
Anyway, nowadays actually I have this fun game life hack if
24:55
you're bored and looking for things to do.
24:58
I do this like literally I think like once or twice a week I
25:01
change my iPhone name to some kind of dumb inside joke between
25:05
Ozzie and I know the trick is. And then I air drop him
25:09
something, anything. It really doesn't matter what I
25:11
air drop. The point is like I want him to
25:13
see the new iPhone name so he laughs.
25:16
But because he has me saved in his phone, I can't AirDrop to
25:19
his phone. I have to do it to his laptop
25:21
where he doesn't have his contacts synced.
25:24
So yeah, I changed it up a lot. I don't know what it is right
25:26
now. Wait, should I go check to see
25:28
what it is? It's probably so silly.
25:31
OK, hold on, hold on. Where is it even general about?
25:40
OK, It's currently sick kind so. So yeah, once in a while Ozzy
25:45
gets an AirDrop from me that's like from just the most weird
25:49
nonsensical shit. OK, let's talk about this egg
25:52
yolk real quick before we go on 6000 more tangents.
25:55
So I've done this a billion different ways.
25:59
This is my favorite method. I might just pull the seeds out
26:03
of this. I am using a plum tomato, so
26:06
they do have fewer seeds, but I'll just pull some of them out
26:10
just because we do want this to be really, really smooth.
26:13
As you know, real egg yolks are not chunky.
26:16
So yeah, don't want that. I've done this, like I said, so
26:20
many different ways. My favorite way that I think
26:23
really balances flavor with nutrition is doing tomato with
26:30
oil. And you might be like, but a
26:33
tomato's fucking red. Hear me out.
26:36
The tomato plus the oil gets pretty orangey and I don't want
26:40
to do an egg that has like a very yellow yolk.
26:43
I want to do an egg that has a more orange yolk.
26:46
Like my fake eggs are from chickens that are kept really
26:50
happy on really nice farms. And OK, let me talk about it.
26:56
I think the best way to do an A fake vegan egg yolk is the
27:01
tomato with a neutral oil. I usually do an avocado oil and
27:05
a little bit of black salt. But because this is for our
27:10
truffle ramen, I figured instead of doing the neutral oil, let me
27:14
just do the white truffle oil because I'm not going to add
27:20
truffle oil into the base because according to Chachi BT,
27:26
the flavor will dissipate with the heat.
27:28
And so this way we get the garnish of the oil and it's all
27:33
going to mix in. I think it's going to be really
27:35
good. I don't know, we're going to
27:36
find out. I'm not going to add black salt
27:38
to this. Actually, maybe I'll add a
27:39
pinch. No, I'm not going to because
27:41
like, I don't give a fuck. That's why.
27:44
You know what, maybe I will a little bit.
27:46
But like, I don't really need this to taste like really sulfur
27:49
Aggie. Again, I feel like the sulfur
27:52
aspect of the egg is like the least the important part of the
27:55
egg. You know what I mean?
27:57
Also, I need more of that oil. So I'm going to have to grab my
28:01
ladder and climb and get to watch me do that because I
28:04
didn't plan this properly. Now this is in my opinion and I
28:09
feel like I feel like I'm able to have a good opinion on this.
28:13
The best truffle oil. They also have a black version
28:16
that's way cheaper because white truffles are far more expensive
28:22
than black truffles are, but for good reason.
28:25
They taste a lot fucking butter. It's a lot more truffle flavor.
28:29
Again, if you're just making like the normal version of this
28:32
ramen, more power to you. You're going to save a lot of
28:34
fucking money. I would just use avocado oil for
28:37
this, and I'll do a little bit of black salt, just a tiny bit.
28:45
That truffle smells so fucking good.
28:52
OK, I think this guy's done. I think the veggies are done.
28:55
Also. Still waiting on the water to
28:57
boil. Let me just grab these out of
28:59
the oven. Oh, they look so good.
29:04
Look at that. Stunning, sizzling.
29:08
Yummy, yummy. Let's see how this egg yolk
29:11
situation is. Oh, OK.
29:17
It's a little creamier than necessary.
29:19
Oh fuck yeah, so nice. Oh my God.
29:27
Wait, this is like my new favorite thing ever.
29:31
So I was thinking we could take some of the leaves from this bok
29:37
choy and just cut em up 'cause like we have to have something
29:41
green and then I'm gonna add some scallions too.
29:45
Oh, So back to my ramen story. Yeah, so I've never had those
29:49
instant noodles thing. In fact, the the first time in
29:52
my life that I had instant noodles.
29:54
Unless I'm not remembering something, which is entirely
29:57
possible. But I believe the first time in
30:00
my life that I had instant noodles was in 2011.
30:05
I was dating this guy and he introduced me to this like
30:10
Korean brand. It's like a Korean kind of
30:13
version of those. What are they called?
30:15
Instant noodles? No, it's not miracle noodles.
30:17
It's instant noodles so I'm cutting these scallions on a
30:21
diagonal. I just think like a it looks
30:23
better but BI don't know. There's just more surface area
30:27
to get flavor. I don't know if that's a thing.
30:30
Also highly recommend keeping your scallions in a cup of water
30:36
in the fridge. Like you would not believe how
30:38
old these scallions are. They just kind of keep growing
30:40
so that's cool. Anyway.
30:42
Actually, you can tell because, like, look at how the ends are
30:45
all curled up like they're old as fuck.
30:48
Anyway, So it was like some like, kind of Korean version of
30:52
that type of noodle thing. Really, really yummy.
30:54
So we'd always get those. And I, like, really, like, I
30:58
instantly became a pro at fucking instant noodles.
31:01
Like, I started jazzing them up with all this stuff.
31:04
Like, I should have seen coming that one day I'd be doing this
31:07
shit. Like everyone would be like, oh,
31:08
yeah. He was so good at making the
31:10
noodles. Yeah.
31:11
I just add shit into them. I can't even remember what
31:14
anymore, but everyone was always hanging out at my apartment back
31:17
in those days. That's actually one of the eras
31:18
in my life that I look back on so fondly.
31:22
Like it was just so like everyone would always be over at
31:25
my place after, after school, after work every day.
31:27
And then the first time I had ramen was actually like real
31:31
ramen. I've still, I don't think I've
31:33
ever had instant ramen. Like that's kind of crazy when
31:35
you think about it. It was a few years later, I had
31:38
a crush on this guy who really liked this one ramen place and
31:43
he took me on a date there, but I barely ate because I had like
31:46
an eating disorder or so. But then after that, this other
31:50
place in DC, this is all when I've still lived in DC, this
31:54
other place in DC started doing delivery ramen.
31:57
It was like kind of hard to get delivery ramen.
31:59
So then I would order it all the time because back then in my
32:02
eating disorder era, I would only eat alone.
32:04
I would never eat around other people.
32:06
OK, so we have this stuff for the toppings and the veggies,
32:10
obviously. Let me check on this water real
32:12
quick. Nope, still not boiling.
32:15
OK, here's what we're going to do.
32:17
I'll bring the pot for the broth over and we're going to finish
32:22
making the broth. How does that sound?
32:24
OK, I really do think the lymph is moving because not only did I
32:28
just pee again, but also my rings are starting to fall off.
32:33
So OK, it's broth time. I'm so excited for this.
32:38
So we're going to pull the mushrooms and kelp out of this
32:47
but try to leave the onions and garlic in, which is easier said
32:53
than done but you know, we do what we can.
32:56
Now. The mushrooms I throw away.
32:58
I find that like dehydrated and rehydrated mushroom thing to be
33:02
quite disgusting. Personally.
33:04
The kelp I like to eat separately, but that's just a me
33:10
thing. I don't think like the average
33:12
person is into that. OK, now I'm going to need some
33:17
of my measuring spoons back from the whole egg thing, but that's
33:23
fine because I think the eggs are actually perfectly set.
33:27
So let me grab some miso. I love this brand of miso.
33:34
They're not like they've never given me anything free.
33:36
They actually think they don't really like me, to be completely
33:40
honest. If anyone from South River is
33:42
watching, like, what have I done to you?
33:45
I feel like I'm nothing but good to you.
33:47
But whatever. I really, really like this
33:49
brand. They're sweet.
33:50
My white miso is my favorite. I need some tamari and my white
33:57
truffle powder and I think that's it.
34:00
Aussie has no idea what's coming for him.
34:02
Like he's going to be so excited.
34:03
Wait, let me just make sure. Oh, and soy milk, by the way,
34:09
these people are good to me and I have to like, I know I talk
34:11
about this a lot. I, there are no words for how
34:14
much I fucking love this soy milk.
34:16
Like starting to buy this soy milk has been the biggest game
34:20
changer in my life. It's so creamy like they're not
34:23
paying me. They're really not like they
34:24
they have for other things in the past.
34:27
They do not pay me to talk about this 24/7.
34:29
They really, really do not. But I'm so fucking obsessed with
34:34
this soy milk, like and every single person I put on to it,
34:37
which is a lot of people, like literally hundreds of people all
34:40
say the same thing. Like it has it is 10% protein by
34:45
10%, I mean 10% of its calories come from protein, which is
34:49
pretty high. That's like we're looking at
34:51
like steak numbers. So like a cup of it has 12 grams
34:54
of protein, which is a lot. No added sugars.
34:57
The ingredients are literally just soybeans and water.
35:00
How it tastes so creamy, I will never fucking understand.
35:05
But like I make ice cream with it.
35:06
I make everything with it. It's so fucking good.
35:09
OK, what am I grabbing? Oh, I need measuring spoons and
35:12
they're all occupied by my egg bullshit.
35:15
OK, this will work. Dirtying 450 measuring spoons
35:20
today and I need my immersion blender, so I cleaned it off
35:24
after the egg thing. By the way, I can't wait for the
35:26
egg reveal. You're going to die.
35:28
OK, so I'm just going to put this in here.
35:31
That works. Oh, and the soy milk.
35:33
Oh whatever. We'll we'll do with that in a
35:35
SEC. So I'm doing 2 tablespoons of
35:39
this. And I'm probably going to get.
35:44
My white shirt dirty today and it is what it is.
35:48
What can you do? 3 tablespoons of the miso.
35:57
Should have seen that coming. Got that in there.
36:04
And I'll just have this guy fuck off because we don't need her
36:08
anymore. Oh fuck yeah, this.
36:11
Is boiling OK Quick intermission.
36:14
I'm just going to throw the noodles in now.
36:16
I spent like a solid 30 minutes at the Asian grocer today trying
36:20
to find fresh ramen noodles. I really have to like read
36:24
ingredients over and over again. By the way, I'm not even going
36:27
to show you this on the overhead because like, I think you
36:29
understand the concept of throwing noodles into the water.
36:32
Like, you don't need me to demo that for you.
36:34
Hopefully I don't fuck this up though.
36:37
They're supposed to cook for two minutes, so right on the counter
36:41
like a savage. Like literally, what's wrong
36:44
with me? The instructions said to pull
36:46
them apart a little before you toss them in the water, so I
36:50
guess I'll do that. All right, so I have my tamari
36:54
in there, I have my miso in there.
36:56
I'm just going to start blending this for now, and then I'll go
37:00
rinse the noodles 'cause they don't need very long, and then
37:03
I'll add the white truffle powder and the soy milk in there
37:07
next. You know what I think I'm
37:09
missing? A mushroom.
37:11
Yeah, you really do want to take the mushrooms out.
37:13
The texture's just like weird. Like I've done this before and
37:17
was like, oh, let me just blend the mushrooms in.
37:19
I'm sure it'll be great. It was not.
37:23
Remember what I was saying before?
37:25
About how when the water is like, well over the line,
37:28
there's like less aeration. So you're seeing the reverse of
37:32
it here right now. OK, yeah, these don't look
37:36
cooked. Let me taste one.
37:39
No, it's not cooked at all. I'll put the lid back on too.
37:42
I'm sure that'll help back to here.
37:45
Oh, but let me tell you what I used to always get.
37:48
This was my favorite ramen. Actually, there were two that I
37:51
really, really liked. I can't remember what this place
37:54
was called. It's on 18th St. in DCI would
37:58
get their veggie ramen. I really liked it because it had
38:01
corn in it. That's actually one of my
38:03
favorite ramen toppings. But then I would add the pork
38:07
belly and the egg. And then I really liked the Don
38:16
Don ramen from this other place. I honestly can't even remember
38:19
what it was called. OK, noodles might be ready.
38:26
Oh. Hell yeah these.
38:27
Look a lot more cooked. Yeah, they're still bouncy and
38:32
chewy. OK, you guys are missing like a
38:36
whole. Crisis over here, and I'm
38:38
actually so glad the entire sink is basically overflowing with
38:42
the noodles. It is psychotic.
38:46
Whatever. There's still some noodles in
38:48
here. I'm not even going to deal with
38:50
it. OK, that was fun.
38:53
All right, back to this. So I'm going to kind of blend
38:57
while I pour this in because the soy milk has so much protein.
39:01
I just don't want it to curdle. Oh fuck yeah, that looks.
39:23
So good. Unlike the scene in the sink.
39:27
All right, I kind of want to taste this, see how it is.
39:30
And then I'm going to add in the truffle.
39:35
Fuck. Yeah, that's good.
39:37
You know what? I could do a bit more Tamari in
39:40
here. I'll do one more.
39:42
So that brings us to 3 teaspoons.
39:45
You know what? I'll do just one more too.
39:50
Hopefully that's not too. Much.
39:53
So that brings us to 4. Tablespoons not teaspoons of
39:57
tamari in here. So 3 tablespoons of.
40:02
Miso 4 tablespoons of tamari. That's it.
40:07
That's the way. Now I'm going to add in my white
40:11
truffle, so I'm going to start with one teaspoon.
40:14
So we don't want to overpower and then we'll see.
40:19
I'm going to do something you should never do, OK?
40:22
BRB, I'm going to. Have to ask Ozzy to open this
40:25
for me. Wait.
40:26
Fuck. But he can't know.
40:28
OK. No, no.
40:29
I'm going to have to find another way to get this open.
40:32
You know what? If I can cause an entire mess of
40:34
noodles all over the kitchen, I can do this by myself, too.
40:38
All right? I feel like the rest of the
40:39
episode is just going to be me trying to get this open.
40:42
Tweezers. Yeah.
40:46
OK, so this is 1/2 of a teaspoon, so we'll do two of
40:51
these. Oh fuck yeah.
40:55
OK, Yeah, I don't. Want to be dramatic?
41:08
But. That's probably like one of the
41:10
best things I've ever eaten in my entire life.
41:12
And I know I say that all the time, but here's the thing.
41:15
I'm constantly outdoing myself. Like.
41:21
But in all seriousness, that's insane.
41:23
Oh, I can't wait to have it all assembled.
41:25
And you don't even know the kicker yet.
41:28
I mean, maybe you can surmise. Is everything done?
41:32
Yeah. Noodles are ready.
41:33
Veggies are ready. Broth is ready.
41:37
Egg is ready. Cool.
41:39
OK, I'm going to use these bowls.
41:42
I'm obsessed with them. So chic, so pretty.
41:44
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's assemble our fucking ramen
41:47
and we'll do the egg at the same time.
41:49
OK, let me just show you what happened here.
41:52
This isn't even all the fucking noodles.
41:54
Like I who did I think I was cooking for?
41:57
OK, I think it's time to assemble.
42:00
So I'm just going to grab a handful of noodles like, you
42:03
know, a monster mite who does it like this.
42:09
What the fuck? It's so much noodle.
42:17
What the fuck? Hang on, let me grab a ladle.
42:24
OK, hold on a second. Let's ladle some broth in,
42:30
Should I have? Done the broth. 1st and then put
42:33
the noodles on top or like, I feel like it probably doesn't
42:36
really matter, huh? OK, that seems good for now.
42:41
Let's add some toppings. Let's do a bit of mushroom, some
42:47
of this bok choy that actually smells so good by the way, do a
42:52
bit of beach or the brown beach mushroom for each of these and
42:57
some Takis, some of these pretty king oyster with the is that
43:05
lattice cut? Did we decide?
43:07
It's called. My grasp on this language is so.
43:12
Fast and. So loose, and now it's time for
43:16
egg. So here's our final eggs.
43:21
We're going to take the measuring spoons out.
43:25
Now you can see some air bubbles underneath the measuring spoon.
43:30
That's fine, because we're going to fill those with the yolk, so
43:34
it doesn't really matter. OK.
43:42
And. Now it's yoke time.
43:45
Now what I love about this is between the fake egg and the soy
43:51
milk and the broth, there's actually so much protein.
43:55
You could always add a protein. I was going to do some kind of
43:58
tofu thing for it too, but I honestly just wasn't in the
44:02
mood. And I figured because there is
44:05
all this other stuff, it's like not quite necessary, OK.
44:10
So pretend I did. A better job of this and we're
44:13
going to kind of mask it with some shit so it doesn't really
44:15
really matter I'm gonna add some of this bok choy stuff some
44:21
scallions oh I. Forgot about the bok.
44:26
Choy flowers. But first we have to get to the
44:29
best part of this. OK, the part of this that I'm
44:32
the most excited for is we're going to shave some fucking
44:36
truffle on top. That's the level we're taking
44:39
this. OK, so I got these black summer
44:43
truffles that are preserved, so we'll do a bit of this.
44:46
But even more exciting, I got a fresh white truffle.
44:50
And that is why this shit is so fucking expensive, but it's so
44:55
fucking worth it. I'm just tightening the
44:58
mandolin. So it's really, really, we're
45:00
going to do really thin slices. Oh my God, Ozzie's going to die
45:08
like this is going to buy me so much licensing to be a cunt for
45:13
a while. You heard it here first.
45:17
Make a good meal, Act like a psycho.
45:21
OK, I'm going to go grab my mesh.
45:23
Gloves for the mandolin 'cause you know how I feel about this.
45:25
I'm about to slice a fucking finger off also.
45:29
Like I can't even resist. I'm sorry I have to have a bit
45:32
of this truffle. Hurry.
45:38
Up. I can't even like this.
45:45
Is. Unreal.
45:49
Now the time has come for flushing truffle.
45:54
I've never been more excited for anything in my entire fucking
45:57
life. That's smell.
46:02
If there was a way for smell to go through, look at that.
46:09
Look at that. I'm going to die.
46:12
Oh my God, if there was a way for smell to go through,
46:16
actually, I have kind of a crazy story.
46:18
So why don't I have my mush gloves on in 20?
46:23
20I. Vividly.
46:25
Oh my God, fucking white trouble.
46:27
What the fuck. In 2020 my mom and I were on the
46:32
phone once. It was at night.
46:34
I remember everything about this scene vividly and all of a
46:39
sudden I just smelled something that was like the best smell
46:43
I've ever smelled. I can't explain it.
46:45
It was kind of like roses but better.
46:47
I'm going to save the rest of this and we're just going to add
46:50
it as we eat. But I feel like pathetically,
46:53
visually, we have enough here. It was literally like roses but
46:56
better. And I was like, what the fuck is
46:58
that? Like it was like nothing I've
47:00
ever smelled before. I, it was like, it was straight
47:02
from heaven, but I didn't say anything.
47:05
I was just thinking it in my head, trying to make sense of,
47:08
you know, I lived alone. There was no one else there.
47:10
Like where could the smell of suddenly come from?
47:13
And I'm just, like, chatting with my mom as I'm thinking
47:16
about this, like, fucking heavenly smell.
47:19
And then my mom out of nowhere goes, what's that smell?
47:24
And I was like, what? And she goes, that smell.
47:29
Oh, my God, that's an amazing smell.
47:31
It's like, it's roses but better.
47:36
And I was like, how are you smelling what I'm smelling now?
47:39
Keep in mind, I was in New York. She was in DC, nowhere close to
47:43
each other. I don't know how.
47:46
I really don't. OK.
47:50
Hello. Can.
47:53
You even with. How fucking good this looks.
47:58
I. Am dying.
48:00
You know what, I'm going to add a bit of Soyuz salt on top just
48:06
to have a little more texture. And I like the flavor too.
48:12
That is insane. Like what the fuck?
48:21
Oh my God, what? The fuck I?
48:30
Have to eat this truffle right now that is so fucking creamy
48:38
and good holy shit. OK I literally cannot contain
48:42
myself like this is insane. I can't wait for Ozzy to see.
48:47
I feel like he's going to shit himself when he sees what I made
48:50
for him. Maybe I can try to like sneakily
48:55
record his reaction when he finds out what it is.
49:00
You know? New York is a single party
49:04
consent state when it comes to recording, so I can legally
49:08
record him without him knowing and put it on here.
49:12
And that's what all grown girlfriends do.
49:18
Stop me or Shogun, you know. What?
49:23
Let me have some of this egg. Too.
49:32
And honestly? Even if you don't.
49:33
Do a truffle ramen. I still think you should use the
49:35
white truffle oil and the egg yolk.
49:37
Is it going to taste like a normal egg yolk?
49:39
No, it's going to taste a billion times better.
49:41
Do that. The egg white really does taste
49:43
like a better version of a real egg white though.
49:46
I'm. Going to dive last thing.
49:50
I sometimes will marinate the egg white and some soy sauce and
49:54
a little splash of rice vinegar and maybe a little splash of
49:56
coconut aminos. I didn't do that today, but
50:00
that's also a lovely option. I'm going to go get Ozzy.
50:03
We're going to eat this shit. We're going to watch some TVI
50:05
think maybe I don't know, but like, I'm going to die.
50:08
Like this has to get in my belly, belly right now.
50:12
Anyway, thanks for watching. Love you.
50:14
Bye. Yeah, I'm done.
50:21
Come here. Do you?
50:22
Want to know the surprise? It's white truffle ramen.
50:27
Doesn't that look good? You excited?
50:32
Fucking white truffle ramen a lot.
50:34
How to have a bigger reaction?