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105. Be Her Now · Your Enriched Self

• 0:00
  So I recently saw a clip of someone giving a homeless woman some money,
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  and I thought this clip, unlike any of the other clips or versions of
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  these stories that I've seen posted out there, was significantly different because the young
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  man doing this gesture was genuinely interested to know what this woman wanted to be
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  growing up. And that's what caught my attention, because now I was interested
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  to know what did she want to be growing up? And what she said
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  next really shocked me because she never really answered the question, but she did
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  answer the question because her answer was I did not live up to the potential
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  that my mother had for me. My mother wanted me to do things and
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  be things that I never became, and I felt like I let down my
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  whole family. So on top of the burden of course and the tragedy of
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  her being on the streets, there was another tragedy that I felt was brewing
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  inside of all of this, not just not living up to the potential of
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  someone else, but more importantly having that as your responsibility, not being able
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  to craft your own identity, where she would be able to tell this young
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  man, well, I wanted to be X, and I wanted to do
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  these things and I had envisioned my life this way. Her explanation of all
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  this helped me to understand that there was a deeper seated issue here, and
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  that is the fact that her identity of who she wanted to be was never
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  realized. She was instead carrying the identity that her mother had pressed upon her
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  life, that her mother had set expectations for her to deliver upon. And
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  even in that moment when he asked her what she wanted to be, she
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  went back into the identity that was carved for her. And that is a
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  dangerous place if you've ever been there. And I think we've all had a
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  teacher, to a friend, to a family member, your inner circle even
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  telling you what you should be. And I don't want that for you.
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  I don't want that for me. I remember reading a quote from Mark Twain,
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  and I'm going to paraphrase it, but it says, they're two important
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  dates in your life, the day you are born and the day you find
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  out why. And I think we're all on this quest to find out why
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  why was I brought here? Another way of saying that is who was I
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  brought here to serve? Because I innately believe that each of us were brought
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  here to serve the other and friends from all across the globe and welcome to
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  the Urinridself Podcast. I'm your host, Miley Noir. I am a mindset
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  coach and your mindset advocate, and all that means is in this world,
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  in your world, there are so many things that require your attention and your
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  ability to be intentional, and I want to ensure that you are becoming more
• 3:42
  of urinridself because when it starts to get busy, the first thing off your
• 3:46
  to do list is you and I want to be intentional about you, being
• 3:53
  intentional about you, and here on this podcast we walk it out and we
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  talk it out through tons of mindset fusion topics. We talk about intentional thinking
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  and the activities that you need to participate in each and every day so that
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  you can become more of your inrid self. I want to welcome everybody to
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  the podcast today. If you are a new listener, thank you for being
• 4:17
  here. I know that you are brought here on purpose for a purpose,
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  so stay tuned you will know why. And if you're a repeat listener,
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  we have been rocking for one hundred and five weeks non stop. We are
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  doing this thing together. We are building a legacy called your inrid Self.
• 4:34
  That is my goal, that is my job. And I'm so grateful to
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  each and every one of you who committed to becoming your in rid self by
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  using your staying power to be here so that you can become more of your
• 4:46
  inrid self. And before we get into this week's episode, I'm excited this
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  week marks two years of the podcast. Wouldn't be more elated about where we've
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  been and where we're going. But before we get started, I want to
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  make a deposit in the bank of you, and I do so by way
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  of affirmations. Affirmations are a great way to start your day and to command
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  your morning. And this week's affirmation is I am capable of creating my dream
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  life. I am capable of creating my dream life. I am capable of
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  creating my dream life. Now let's get ready for this week's episode of the
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  Your Enriched Self podcast. Podcast has truly been a of love. I mean
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  two years and one hundred and five episodes, and we are here. I
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  am here and I am committed to being here. I mean one hundred and
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  five episodes will tell you I am committed to this process, and I'm grateful
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  to all of you who are committed to being here each and every week.
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  But I remember starting this podcast journey and one of the things I did was
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  research statistically the average podcaster does not get past the tenth episode, and so
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  my initial goal was, Hey, I can do this for ten weeks,
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  or I could do this, you know, ten times. Eventually I started
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  just going past the statistic and keeping up with what it is My mission was
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  to bring to this podcast, which is again mindset, fusion topics, all
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  of the things I really do want you to become more of your in rid
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  self. It's not just a brand or a title. It is a lifestyle
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  that I am living to be more of my enriched self. Thinking about being
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  enriched for me for a long time meant having lots of wealth and amassing lots
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  of wealth, and that's still an important part of a legacy that I want
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  to leave for generations to come. But being enriched is a little bit deeper
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  than just those surface things. And if you're not enriched, if you're not
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  the best version of yourself, it's going to be hard to produce, to
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  serve, and to live and give like you've never done before in this life.
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  I just wanted to celebrate that for a moment. I want to take
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  you back a little bit on my personal journey of becoming my enriched self and
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  this week's topic around being her now, and that concept of being her now
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  is something that I'm going to admit to you. I struggled with being the
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  version of myself that I need to be now being that version and seems almost
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  like it's out of reach because I'm not seeing the things that I've envisioned for
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  my life. However, I know that in order to live the life that
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  I want, it's going to require me to be in the now and do
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  things now instead of waiting. And I have been one of these people.
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  I've been loyal to the past. The past had a lot of familiarity to
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  it. The past reminded me of all the comforts of it. There's a
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  lot of nostalgia and a lot of emotional attachment with my past, as with
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  many of us, and that kept me in a chokehole in the past.
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  But I also knew that in order for me to go in a direction that
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  I want to go, it's going to require me to do some things that
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  I wasn't familiar with, I wasn't comfortable with, and it took me a
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  long time to get there. And if I go way back in my story,
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  I come from a family of seven. I am number five in the
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  lineup of seven. I am not the youngest girl and not the oldest girl,
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  so I sit right in the middle of the pack. And so for
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  a long time I felt this middle of the pack way about me. And
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  I think it's because I became a chameleon child. And a chameleon child is
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  basically just as it sounds, it's the person that becomes who he or she
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  needs to be to suit the environment that he or she is in the present.
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  So depending on what I needed or what was needed in that environment,
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  not necessarily of me. It's one of those things where you're observational and you're
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  watching what needs are being unmet, and you fill in those blanks, often
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  without asking. So it makes you look more attentive and you're the nice one
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  and you are the good child or whatever. You get all these identities placed
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  on you and then you assumed them. It also meant that I was quiet,
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  because again I was doing a lot of observation. I was watching what
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  these were doing, and I was watching what those were doing. And again
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  I'm in the middle of the pack. So I for a long time like
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  I didn't have a voice. And those feelings really played into how I would
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  show up in life and who I would be. And so by the time
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  I went away to college and I started my journey of you know, learning
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  who I needed to be in that environment, with those new friend groups and
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  with that whole collegiate environment, I started doing that thing again where I kind
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  of blended in and allowed, you know, whoever needed to be on the
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  forefront to be there, and I could be the nice supporting role in the
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  background. And I was okay with it. It was never a thing of
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  any type of envy or anything like that. I just had adopted that for
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  so long I had been that person. And then I graduated, and when
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  I graduated, I had this idea that I would go out in the world.
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  Oh, by the way, I was the first one of my family
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  to graduate, my family of seven from college. And that's not to brag
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  or anything. That's just to state the fact that now I had this newfound
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  identity of college graduate. And what did that mean? That meant that she
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  was going to go out and find this great job and do great things because
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  she now has this college grad identity who woo, and I come to find
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  I really didn't know who I was, so being her now she did not
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  have an identity yet. I had done so much of what who I needed
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  to be for others that I hadn't quite figured out who I needed to be.
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  So it would take years it would take for me to ask myself some
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  really tough questions. Who am I? What do I want to be?
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  So just before the pandemic, I remember having I would say, sort of
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  an out of body experience, and I felt like I wasn't doing what I
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  was called to do. I just have this feeling like I was out of
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  my body and watching myself do just a mundane task, and I thought,
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  this is not who I'm supposed to be. So when I embarked upon this
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  journey to become her now or be her now, I had to focus not
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  on what she has, but who she is, meaning what are her values,
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  what are her beliefs, what does she care about? What activities give
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  her life? How does she see herself? Being the person now means that
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  you're not going to have all the answers, and I think for many of
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  you, you want to be the person after you get all the information,
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  and I'm here to encourage you and remind you what you have. Your past,
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  your experiences, the environments you lived and worked in. All of those
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  things combined together makes you enough now to be her now. I want you
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  to get up from this episode and be that person now. And being that
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  person now means using the resources you have to become the next version of yourself.
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  The idea is to execute on doing and not so much focusing on having.
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  I think we get confused with being something by having things. And I'm
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  going to courage you to do because you'll get the answers along the way.
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  One of my coaches used to say, the clarity comes from the doing,
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  and so you will get clarity about what the next step will be after that
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  step and the next step, and you will eventually step into being that version
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  of yourself. Important to take those steps because if you're not taking those steps,
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  you're idle. If you're not taking those steps, you're on pause,
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  and that means you're waiting. There are risks in waiting. There's more risks
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  in waiting than there isn't doing First of all, who wants to be a
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  spectator in their own life? Because if you're sitting and waiting, you're just
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  watching the show that somebody else is performing at this is your life. If
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  you aren't active and moving and doing, then you're not living. You're not
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  living and moving through the potential, not to the potential through because there's higher,
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  greater that's still in you to be experience in this world, not just
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  for you to experience, but for people in the world, the people you
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  will serve to experience. So in other words, it's going to take work
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  to become the best version of yourself. And I'm going to share with you
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  the grit that it took for me to get to this point where I'm standing
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  on a solid foundation. I'm still moving forward, I'm still taking steps,
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  I'm still dealing with challenges, but I'm not giving up. I am intentional
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  about being her now and I'm using grit. And here's what grit stands for,
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  the gene grit giving her grace. Now. There's a golden rule that
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  we've all learned treat others the way you want to be treated. In this
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  space of giving her grace now, the rule is to treat yourself as you
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  would treat others. Giving yourself grace, giving her grace now means making a
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  choice that even after a mistake, even after a misstep, even after you
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  felt like you couldn't come back from that thing, that you would choose then
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  to interact with the world and interact with yourself, and be there for yourself
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  and treat yourself with loving kindness. And that was something I struggled with.
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  I couldn't get past the missteps. I struggled. I was stuck on that
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  track, and it was hard for me to pick up the pace and move
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  again. But I learned to give myself grace. And the r is to
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  reclaim my identity. My identity was warped into this lineup of seven. My
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  identity was wrapped up into being this chameleon. My identity was buried, it
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  was lost, it was misplaced. I had missed opportunities because I didn't know
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  who I was and who I was called to serve. So the opportunity to
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  do the work and be that person, I missed it. And so now
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  I'm reclaiming my identity. I know who I am, and I know who
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  I am called to serve, and I know as the world changes, that
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  might change, and I'll be ready to adopt those changes. I'll be ready
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  to embrace that. But first I got to reclaim who I am. That
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  I and this one is so important. Invest in her now. You are
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  the most important investment you will ever make in this life. And it took
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  me many years in my adult life to recognize that truth. And as great
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  of an experienced college was, it didn't help me to unlock and unleash the
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  purpose that I now know I have. And it started with me investing.
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  It started with me allowing someone else to pour into me. See, I
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  invested in a coach, and investing in that coach allowed me to see what
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  she had seen in me, all the identities that were buried and lost and
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  misplaced. All of a sudden I was able to see that treasure chest open
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  up, and that was to return on my investment. And finally, the
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  tea is to trust her. Now. Moral of the story is to believe
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  in yourself. There are going to be times in life where people are going
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  to believe in you in a way that you probably don't have capacity at that
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  time to believe in yourself. And those are great people to have in your
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  corner and to have in your community. But the most important ingredient to trusting
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  her now is that you believe in yourself, that you take the risk,
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  that you know it's okay to step outside the comfort zone. It's safe,
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  it's secure, you can do it. You got this, But that starts
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  with trusting yourself enough to go for it, to take the risk. To
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  be her now means to ask yourself the question, are you willing to expand?
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  Being her now means it's time to act. It's time to do.
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  But remember, if you always do what you've always done, you will always
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  get what you always got. Hope you enjoyed this week's episode of the Urine
• 20:22
  Risk Self podcast, and the only woman to know this is if you leave
• 20:26
  me some feedback. Feedback as a gift, free to give, and here's
• 20:32
  how you leave feedback right on the app in which you are listening to this
• 20:36
  podcast, follow the stars and leave a five star rating. That easy,
• 20:41
  that's simple. Here's the thing. When you leave a rating, it helps
• 20:45
  other potential listeners, like minded individuals learn more about this podcast and see how
• 20:52
  we can add value to their lives. I will also encourage you to share
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  this podcast with your friends and family right from this app by hitting the share
• 21:00
  button. And I'm sure you have the last three or five people that you
• 21:06
  care about that you would want to send this episode about being themselves. Now,
• 21:11
  go ahead and send that episode out right now. You can also share
• 21:15
  your feedback with me and in the socials. You can find me on all
• 21:21
  the socials including TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, but Instagram is my
• 21:29
  jam. That's where you're gonna find me. That's where I am. You
• 21:32
  can find me at Mine rich Self that's m Y E N R C H
• 21:37
  E D S E l F. Also, check out the details in the
• 21:41
  show notes. I leave the affirmation of the week as well as this week's
• 21:45
  quote. And don't forget to check out my Amazon shops where you can shop
• 21:51
  for My Journal, which is the show of now Journal and also the show
• 21:56
  of Everyday Notebooks, so you are prepared, aired and ready to take notes
• 22:00
  in your next meeting. And finally, I want you to take all that
• 22:07
  you can from this episode and do what you must in the next one hundred
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  and sixty eight hours to become more of your enriched self until we meet again.