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Win The Room vs Lose The Room (Do This and You'll Win Every Time) · Not All Business

0:00
Think about the last time you walked out of a meeting and
0:02
thought that one great. Everyone's on the same page.
0:06
Were they though? Most leadership failures aren't
0:09
strategy failures, they're communication failures.
0:11
Our guest today built a framework to fix that.
0:14
Today we're talking to Brittany Hart, communication strategist
0:18
and founder of Communiscape, and she's here to walk you through
0:21
the five scapes every leader needs to master.
0:25
And she's going to tell you exactly which one you're
0:27
probably skipping. Also on today's show, we talked
0:30
about a marathon finish line, a Starbucks bathroom, a Home Depot
0:34
and one very unlucky sneeze. It's a lot, but it connects kind
0:39
of. So welcome to Not All Business,
0:41
a podcast by two former CEO's who went from competitors to
0:45
friends. I'm Blakely Graham, my Co host
0:47
is Heather Cooper and we're joined by our producer Clay
0:50
Cornell. Now let's get down to business.
1:01
So I was looking today, as I do on Instagram, and I saw the
1:07
Boston Marathon clip. Those two guys help.
1:10
The one guy that fell like right before.
1:12
So they're approaching. I don't know how close to the
1:14
finish line, but it was close to the end and someone was just
1:18
dying of exhaustion or dehydration.
1:19
I don't know what it was, but I mean, he fell down.
1:21
He was struggling to stand back up.
1:23
So another runner, and this is Boston Marathon.
1:26
This isn't like, hey, I'm going to run a marathon at Disney
1:28
World with a pretzel around my wrist.
1:30
You got to qualify. Yeah, you got to qualify.
1:33
You need to get there. Most people are doing it
1:34
competitively. Like they've really worked hard
1:36
to get there. Now they're trying to get their
1:37
best time. So this one guy runs up and he
1:40
stops and he helps him up and even he can't help on his own.
1:44
So then another runner came around on the other side and
1:46
they both lifted him up, kind of carried him and like, ran the
1:49
rest of the way with him to help the guy finish.
1:51
They finish the three of them together.
1:53
I was like, I want more of that, More of that, please in the
1:57
world. Humanity, putting yourself aside
2:00
for the moment. Who knows how hard they work to
2:01
get to that moment, but not enough to make it worth it to
2:05
just run by and leave this guy in the dust.
2:07
Stranger just went and helped the guy out.
2:10
It was so beautiful. And it was, and in the moment,
2:13
to people who were watching it, that's all they were seeing.
2:17
And there's a huge, you know, there's these barriers.
2:20
You can't really get in and go help somebody 'cause you'll just
2:22
get run over by 1000 people. So like they're like, you can
2:27
feel the crowd getting excited that someone is stepping in to
2:31
do something. So it was amazing 'cause you're
2:33
watching on your phone, right? And you're like, I feel it.
2:36
But then you can hear everyone there.
2:38
Also exciting actually. There's such an appetite for
2:41
that, especially after the Artemis 2.
2:44
I was just about to connect it to the Artemis, like that was
2:47
like the kind and humankind coming back.
2:49
It was just so inspirational. It was so, so good.
2:53
Yeah, it was good. But also.
2:55
Goodness, in our world it is. But it also reminded me, 'cause,
2:59
you know, I spent 20 seconds thinking about someone else and
3:02
then I had to take it back to me and I realized I did a marathon.
3:06
And when you asked me what my, like, best thing was, whenever
3:11
that was like, about like achievement, like what do you?
3:14
And I've had to like, really struggle.
3:15
And I was like, oh, I beat that 70 year old woman that one time
3:17
in tennis. The lobster.
3:19
Yeah, the lobster. Good memory.
3:21
Blake Blakely. I know I'm catching myself.
3:26
I ran a marathon like I finished it.
3:29
Yeah, it all didn't. Come up.
3:32
I swear to God it did well. It was a long time ago.
3:34
I was 39. I it was my goal to do a
3:37
marathon before I turned 40. Also I did it in Denver Mile
3:42
High like. Yeah, that's hard.
3:44
That's when I read races. I like to fly to the coast,
3:47
right? Yeah.
3:48
So it's such a better time. Wait, hang on, wait, wait.
3:51
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What?
3:53
Blakely, you've have travelled and done races.
3:58
Like a 5K or what? Half marathons, usually.
4:01
Oh, OK, OK. I don't know.
4:03
I do. I've done a lot of recess, like
4:05
20-30. Did you do a marathon?
4:08
What did you do 30? Did you ever do a marathon?
4:11
How? Did you?
4:11
So I did train for a marathon and I got such debilitating
4:15
plantar fasciitis that I'm like, it's just not worth it.
4:17
It was so I was out. It took me half a year probably
4:21
to recover from it. So I've only done half
4:24
marathons. I would say 10K to half is my
4:28
sweet spot. That's good.
4:30
That's still impressive. I mean, it's not a marathon, but
4:34
back to me. So I was training.
4:37
But I but before you go any further.
4:40
I love that Clay wants to ever get to me.
4:43
Yes, Clay, what can I answer for you?
4:45
OK. I asked both of you what was
4:48
your greatest achievement. No and none.
4:50
Of and neither of you mentioned long distance running where you
4:56
pleaded something, you traveled a distance to do the one.
5:00
Thing. You said you were most improved
5:02
because of the cross country runner.
5:03
Like that was your highlight of your season where you didn't
5:06
lose. I have like all my finishers
5:10
metal in my closet to feel like really they're really nice.
5:13
The metals are so nice, but they're only futures medals.
5:16
So I just kind of like, I don't know, that doesn't feel like a
5:18
greatest achievement necessary. I feel like 20 or 30 races is a
5:22
really, really good achievement. Can we get back to me now
5:25
please? Yes, OK, please.
5:27
Thank you. So I was training and I got to
5:29
mile 16 and I did one of those couch to marathon trainings.
5:34
You know that they do. What's that guy's name?
5:36
Halligdon. Anyway, fantastic.
5:39
So I got to mile 16 and I did this thing where I was like
5:44
trying to compete with myself and it was really dumb because
5:47
initially I was like, I just want to finish.
5:48
But then you get into it and you're like, Oh well, maybe I
5:50
can get under a 9 minute mile or maybe I can, you know, start
5:53
putting these. You were.
5:54
Running under a 9 minute mile on your marathon?
5:58
I wanted to get to that and then I was at a treadmill running
6:01
next to this 20 something. Who?
6:04
Look, I thought we were going the same space.
6:06
See where this is going? I see where?
6:07
This we were not. So I was like she had her towel
6:10
like very humbly over her time so you couldn't see it on the
6:13
treadmill. And then I'm like, I'm keeping
6:15
up with this girl and she's awesome and I'm awesome.
6:19
And then she pushed stop and it was like clearly hers was she
6:22
was running it like AI don't know.
6:25
It was like on a treadmill. It was like 8.5 or something for
6:29
like, you know the speed, right? And I was at a six because
6:32
that's a 10 minute mile. So I was trying to get that and
6:35
so I felt so depleted and then I was like, OK, well, I'm going to
6:39
like try to like increase this. Long story short, I go out, you
6:42
go faster and it's harder to go fast on the road than it is a
6:45
treadmill. You don't have the treadmill
6:46
assist. So Long story short, pulled the
6:49
muscle, fell down. Had to have Jodi from She Hid at
6:53
work episode come pick me up off the street.
6:56
I couldn't even stand up like this guy at the Boston Marathon.
6:59
So then went to the. Doctor, So you're the guy in the
7:01
video? I think it's why I cried so, but
7:05
that was just training in the neighborhood.
7:07
So she takes a doctor's like you're done, you're not running
7:09
the race. Fine, whatever.
7:11
Like I know, didn't train again. But then I had already paid for
7:13
it and I'm cheap and I'm like, I want to get my free T-shirt and
7:16
I want to get all the good stuff.
7:18
So I'm like, I'm going to go to the Expo.
7:20
So I go to the Expo. Pick those up.
7:22
Oh God, you're so cool. I don't like those T-shirts.
7:27
I look way cuter in like my outfit but I yeah, sorry go.
7:33
Ahead, remember last week about the listening.
7:36
Yes, but I'm engaged, so I'm actually listening there.
7:41
Well, I'm also telling my stories way too long.
7:43
I'm over the whatever 660. OK, so I go to the Expo and
7:49
there's this guy who's doing KT tape, which I don't.
7:51
I'm from Detroit. I have no fucking idea what KT
7:53
tape is. We don't do that in Michigan,
7:55
and so we had just moved to Colorado.
7:57
So I'm like, is this a miracle that's going to work?
8:00
So I stood in this long line. He taped my leg all up and I was
8:04
like, Oh my God, like I'm feeling OK.
8:06
I'm going to. I'm going to just go.
8:07
I'm going to show up tomorrow. I have my KT tape, so I'm going
8:10
to go. I bought bright pink shorts.
8:13
OK. I brought Bright because I knew
8:15
I wasn't going to run, but I wanted my family to be able to
8:18
see me as I was walking. Did you sleep in the tape?
8:22
Yes, OK, which my I guess is wrong, Kelly knows.
8:26
But I slept in the tape. I put on my hot pink shorts.
8:30
I showed up and I was and I actually was doing OK.
8:33
I adrenaline whatever. And then I get to the half half
8:36
marathon mark where they're like, you're either going to go
8:38
the full 26 or you're going to end.
8:41
You have to make your choice. And I was like, what?
8:43
I'm going to do what I'm going to do.
8:44
I went to 26. I'm like, what's the worst that
8:46
can happen? So then I ran to the mile 16,
8:48
walking some running. Wasn't stressing out about time
8:51
because I never planned to finish.
8:53
And you're feeling good. Like good.
8:55
Enough. Yeah, like I stopped.
8:56
I stretched a couple times. I stopped.
8:57
I talked to my family, which is something no one ever does when
9:00
they're racing. You're not like stopping along,
9:02
usually not saying hi to the kids.
9:03
But again, I was not worried about it.
9:06
So then I was like, actually, I might finish this.
9:08
It was like mile 2122 and I'm like, I'm going to, I'm going to
9:11
go for it. I'm going to finish.
9:13
I did start to hurt a lot after that.
9:15
So I started to pick up my pace. Did not realize in this whole
9:19
time that I, I've been peeing just a little bit little bit of
9:23
pee, little bit of pee every mile, maybe a little more pee,
9:26
no idea. Heads in the clouds, smiling,
9:29
feeling the winter air. And then I crossed the finish
9:32
line and I was like, I tear, I could not believe it.
9:35
I like did my, I have no memory of this, but I did Both hands in
9:38
the air leaped across the finish line.
9:41
Probably last right? I mean, it's like 5 hours or
9:44
something. That's amazing.
9:46
The photo that they have of the photo finish.
9:48
God, I'll try to find it. It's this face with my pink
9:54
shorts with just orange Pete, like all like, right.
9:59
Wait, why is your Pete Orange? Because the shorts are pink and
10:03
it's like, it's so funny. It's so funny.
10:09
And so I had no idea, 'cause you would never wear bright pink as
10:12
a 40 year old woman would ever wear bright pink, you would wear
10:15
black, right? Can you back me up on this Miss
10:18
20 Races runner? Yeah.
10:20
Yeah, so I could never frame the photo.
10:22
I always look at the gym workout before I go to the gym to see if
10:27
we're jumping rope or like doing box jumps.
10:29
And I, I switch to black 'cause I never wear black, right?
10:32
Like it's not my color. Yeah, some of these.
10:35
Things boys don't have to think about.
10:37
Things boys don't have to think about.
10:38
Yeah. So yeah, I feel that, you know,
10:41
professional runners just let the pee go like it's just
10:45
happening. I do.
10:46
But. They've earned that right.
10:47
I I didn't. I have a public peeing story.
10:51
Let's hear it. I was nine months pregnant with
10:55
Elden, and we were in the Home Depot and the World's biggest
11:03
sneeze came. Like, you couldn't even imagine
11:06
how big this sneeze came. And not like, you know, like
11:09
when you cross your legs now, like when you're older, you
11:12
know, you cross your legs before you sneeze.
11:14
Well, I was pregnant for the first time.
11:16
I didn't. Know.
11:17
I had no idea and so I sneezed and they had to do aisle cleanup
11:23
as. I was speaking was it to get to
11:28
the point where you're like, I can't stop this now, like this
11:30
is saying I. Couldn't stop any of it.
11:32
I was wearing, I remember I was wearing this long flowy skirt
11:34
and it was just, I moved away and it was just this huge circle
11:38
of pee and they're like got to clean up.
11:40
OK. Let's talk about the two.
11:42
Miles. That happens after that.
11:43
After that happens, let's go frame by frame.
11:47
What's the next minute? Is it panic?
11:49
Is it? Oh no, I got to tell somebody.
11:51
Is it what? Did you?
11:52
You walked away, I'm assuming? Yeah, she walked away.
11:56
Oh. My water broke and you just run
11:59
out. Like what she ran out like this
12:01
could. You pick up the Home Depot.
12:06
Look at my. Hands raised above her head in
12:10
victory. It's a, it's a thing.
12:14
It's a damn it, It's a damn it. They can fix it now.
12:16
For all our listeners who are listening, there's actually a
12:18
really simple surgery that I've had several friends have, I have
12:22
not had it yet, but they are like in the gym and they are not
12:28
having aisle cleanups anymore. So go get the surgery.
12:31
Nobody wants to hear this. OK, we need to move on.
12:34
I mean, it's not great. Yeah.
12:36
No one wants to hear this. Yeah.
12:38
I, I won't say what other people want to hear other than I'm a
12:41
podcast producer and I think it's pretty good.
12:43
However, I will say this, that this should be more public
12:46
information and more people should know that this is a thing
12:49
that's possible, and it should be.
12:50
Color, I actually agree, Clay, I do think we should talk about
12:54
this kind of stuff. And so when we have our next
12:57
mission vision values meeting coming up, like yes, we do.
13:01
I think this is important for women to talk about so and I
13:05
know it's not career focused, but it impacts your career when
13:07
you're PN on the company marathon team.
13:13
Whatever you're doing, it was just me.
13:17
It was just me. But yeah, plug for KT tape.
13:21
So it, it worked. I mean, the moral of the story
13:24
is, you know, KT tape, you could put it, you know, maybe they
13:31
make it KT tape for the peeing little tiny strips like Band-Aid
13:36
level, like little Band-Aid KT tape.
13:39
I think it's a good idea. No, but maybe it helps the
13:43
muscles do the what they need to do.
13:45
And I think we should look into it.
13:47
KP tape. We're going to call it KP tape.
13:50
KP tape? Yes, it's KT for your pee.
13:53
Right. It's it's writing as scalter.
13:56
As cash. I should have gone into
13:57
marketing. OK, Communication's important,
14:00
yes. Everybody shared, I just felt
14:03
like I'm happy to not share a story, but I everybody shared
14:09
like a peace story, a public peace story, a public poop
14:11
story. I'd be happy to share mine.
14:13
You heard one. I just didn't mean.
14:16
I feel like that's discriminatory that we didn't.
14:18
We just assumed that you would not have had a.
14:21
It's a poop story. It's a, it's a it's got to be.
14:23
It's a guy poop. Story so well, no, it's
14:26
sometimes, you know, you gamble with a fart and you lose that.
14:31
That just happens sometimes as you, you have to learn who you
14:35
are and you have to learn yourself and that's sometimes
14:38
part of it. I was at a Starbucks and I
14:42
remember like I wasn't feeling well.
14:44
I was not feeling well and but you know, I, when I was young, I
14:49
was like 2425. So I was just kind of like, I
14:52
don't know, when you don't feel good, you just keep going.
14:55
I don't know, you just, you just go out and do stuff.
14:57
Also pre COVID, you know, whatever, you just, you're sick.
15:00
You just walk out the door and you go to a public place.
15:02
That's what used to happen. Anybody born after 2019, that's
15:05
what we used to do. So I'm in Starbucks, I'm sitting
15:08
there. I don't feel well and I, I don't
15:10
know, I'm working on something on my computer.
15:12
I gamble with a fart and I lose and I'm, I'm sitting there and
15:18
it just, it just kind of hits you.
15:19
You're like. It's like a little squishy.
15:24
And. You're just.
15:27
Like, and you're like, I think this changes everything.
15:30
Like I think this changes everything.
15:32
So I, so I like, yeah, I'm by myself.
15:37
So I like, I kind of like pick up my pants with me and just
15:42
kind of like go to the bathroom and I discover that the worst
15:46
has happened. And so I'm like, what do I do?
15:51
So I end up throwing away my underwear like that's just we
15:55
got to. That's what we do.
15:57
We and that scenario, it's got to go the poor and then I, but
16:01
I'm like, I probably smell terrible, but I got to figure
16:06
this out. So I go I, I end up kind of like
16:09
cleaning what I can and I go back and I sit in the chair and
16:13
by my computer and I'm just like, Oh my gosh, this is so
16:16
crazy. This is so crazy.
16:17
This is so crazy. I call Ray and I was like, can
16:21
you like come pick me up please? Like I'm.
16:23
Not bringing a towel. She brought a towel and she
16:27
pulls up outside and I don't remember the car ride home.
16:31
But anytime the story does come up, she laughs really hard.
16:35
And she'll be like, remember that one time you pooped your
16:38
pants out of Starbucks? I had to come save you.
16:42
Anyway, that's my story. That's a good one.
16:44
That's a Good Wife. That's a Good Wife too.
16:48
OK, Heather, I'm dying. I'm dying to know how you're
16:51
going to pivot into what we're talking about today out of what
16:54
we just talked about. So please go ahead.
16:57
Yes. Well, Clay, whether you're
17:00
talking to your own internal self and your bodily organs, or
17:05
whether you're talking to somebody outside, maybe a
17:07
friend, maybe a Co worker, what comes down is clear
17:10
communication as the goal. That's what you need.
17:13
You need, you need to listen to your body.
17:15
Your body needs to listen to you.
17:17
In your example, you really didn't listen to your body.
17:19
Your body was giving you a heads up, but you chose to shut that
17:22
down and then your body spoke anyway, didn't it?
17:25
It spoke. It spoke out.
17:27
It spoke out the bottom. It.
17:29
It spoke from the bottom up, ground up.
17:32
OK, we're going to move on to our guest.
17:35
So last week, listeners, we dove deep into listening.
17:38
We're doing a little bit of a communication series here
17:41
because communication hits all of us in our private life, in
17:44
our corporate lives. It is the single most important
17:47
thing that we can do to get things done and we need to learn
17:49
how to do it well. So we've got an expert of all
17:52
experts here today. Welcome to the show, Brittany
17:55
Hart. You've hustled, climbed,
18:01
pivoted. By most measures, you've made
18:04
it. And yet, something still feels
18:07
off. Francis Walsh works with women
18:10
in the middle of exactly that moment, making a bold career
18:14
move, rebuilding after time away, or just sitting with that
18:18
feeling that something more is waiting.
18:21
Her clients leave with renewed energy, a clear sense of
18:25
direction, and tools that hold up in the chaos of everyday
18:29
life. Start with a free intro
18:31
consultation or join her upcoming four week Own Your Path
18:36
Spring Workshop and walk away with a plan that actually
18:39
sticks. Francis is a
18:41
certifiedwayfinder.lifecoachfinder@franciswalshcoaching.com. Hello.
18:53
Brittany oh, thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.
18:57
Are you though, even though you had to sit through?
19:00
I mean, we really kind of went down a whole.
19:02
Rabbit, I mean, you guys went down a rabbit hole.
19:04
I was holding back my own stories.
19:06
I think I'm going to keep those to myself for right now, but
19:09
someday I might join in on you. The stories free to share She's.
19:15
Podcast she's like I am and I'm choosing not to thank you very
19:18
much. Quickly, can we please move on?
19:21
I'm going to lean into my first first of my 5 communication
19:24
areas and choose choose my mindscape to not go down the
19:27
rabbit hole with you guys. Oh man, see, and that's why
19:30
she's cool. I'm professional and we're she's
19:33
going to, she's going to level us up, level us up here.
19:36
Well, Brittany, we really appreciate you coming on.
19:39
There's I'm in conversations almost daily now about how AI is
19:45
impacting communication. So some people are leaning into
19:48
it so heavily that they are leveraging it to draft a simple
19:52
e-mail or, you know, to send a message to a boss or something
19:57
to make sure it's sounding professional.
19:59
And although I love that and I'm a huge obvious advocate for AII
20:05
am I do, I do wonder how US leaning into it so much is going
20:10
to impact human communication. I'd love your thoughts on that.
20:15
Yeah, AI is always a hot topic, especially in communication,
20:20
because you can give a simple prompt and all of a sudden you
20:23
have 5-10 pages of response and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
20:27
This is not, this is not communication, just sheer amount
20:31
and sheer volume does not equate to communication.
20:35
And we all see it on a, on a daily basis.
20:37
I mean, even in the work we're doing, clients send us stuff and
20:41
I'm like, OK, so you, you brought us this from AI.
20:44
Can we talk about what we're really trying to achieve instead
20:48
of just overloading people with, like I said, just pages and
20:54
pages of content? It's exhausting.
20:56
I get that too. And I feel like I'm
20:59
communicating or negotiating with AI all the time and like,
21:02
can we just, I, I get that you, you feel super smart because you
21:05
sent me over 3 pages to digest, but can we just get to like what
21:08
the real issues are here? And then if I get back an
21:12
additional draft of AI, I'm just like, OK, it's, it's
21:15
overwhelming. It, it is overwhelming.
21:18
And that's where, you know, really leaning into, OK, let me
21:23
use AI to help me formulate what I'm trying to say, but then use
21:29
my own human communication to say those three bullet points
21:33
and say, you know, Heather, if you want more from here, great.
21:36
Here's an attached document. But like, this is what I'm
21:40
really trying to achieve and what I'm trying to work on, and
21:42
then using that AI as supplement and backup for individuals who
21:47
really want to see all the details and research and things
21:50
like that. That's good, but not just
21:53
overwhelming with more and more content.
21:57
Well I'm seeing all the time now the TLDR popping up and I think
22:01
it's because of AI. That's been around forever.
22:05
What are you talking about? I it's been around, but I'm
22:08
seeing it almost, I don't know, 10-12 times a day now.
22:12
Like I just really, yes, I see it constantly in all of our
22:17
vendor updates, they all are leading with that.
22:20
In meeting recaps, they're leading with that because people
22:22
are just attaching the transcript essentially.
22:24
You think we would have gotten like more efficient with AI like
22:29
like hey, get this down, explain this issue in 100 words or less.
22:33
You know, like. Like maybe more concise.
22:35
So TLDR what is it? Too long?
22:38
Didn't. Read, didn't read.
22:40
Right, because people aren't. People are sending much longer
22:44
things now because they've only put, they've only taken 5 to 10
22:48
minutes of their own to do the prompt.
22:50
AI spits out the whole thing, then they feel like they've
22:52
really covered all their bases to just send that through
22:54
without having to do the hard work of paring it down.
22:56
And so then they'll just start out with the tail Dr. cover that
22:59
main one sentence, but then they're covered from the other
23:03
angles. So it's I don't it's efficient
23:06
in some ways and then completely inefficient in a million others
23:09
because AI leaves so many open-ended questions.
23:12
Yes, there's this, but also consider this.
23:14
And then we could also enhance it with this, but there's not a
23:16
lot of decisiveness. Oh, and by the way, you're
23:19
great. That was a great prompt, right,
23:21
'cause AI is always building you up.
23:23
It's never telling you. Like, no, that was a terrible
23:25
prompt. You should have asked this,
23:28
right? It's always feeding into that as
23:30
well. So Brittany, you talk about a
23:34
communication environment and you're the first person I've
23:37
ever heard describe it that way. And I thought it was really,
23:41
really interesting because a lot of people will talk about, hey,
23:44
here's some tips on communication.
23:46
Here's the five things you need to do to be better at
23:49
communication. And like, as if it's something
23:51
you can just learn, but you're saying no, no, no, no,
23:53
especially as a leader, it's way deeper than that.
23:56
You need to create a communication environment.
23:59
So can you tell us a little bit more about that?
24:02
Yeah. So we are in springtime, so I
24:06
don't know are any of you guys gardeners?
24:08
I am. I try.
24:09
I'm gonna ask for a. Weeder one.
24:11
I'm a weeder. A weeder.
24:13
OK, well, that that fits in too, to this whole environment,
24:17
right? And and so with that, you know,
24:20
you imagine you go to a store and you pick up, you know, let's
24:23
say 37 beautiful flowers that you're gonna plant and you go
24:27
out and your garden and you just plant them.
24:29
You pick good spots, you plant them, day goes by, they look
24:33
great, Week goes by, it looks great.
24:35
The following week goes by and you're like, OK, it doesn't look
24:37
so great. So on and so forth.
24:39
And so that is like going and picking the communication tips
24:43
that you want to use, right? Three to five communication tips
24:47
and you just split them out there wherever you think they're
24:50
gonna work. Now, if we think about gardening
24:53
and saying in that staying in that, then we have to think
24:56
about, OK, well, how are we going to get the water to these
25:00
flowers and how are we going to make sure that it's enough water
25:04
or not enough water? And so this whole irrigation
25:07
comes into play. And that is what communication
25:11
environment starts looking like is it's not just pick and
25:15
choose, as you said, like the communication tips, but it's we
25:19
have to create this entire garden area to make sure that
25:23
it's getting the water, it has the flowers, it has the
25:26
appropriate sunlight and not, you know, trees overhanging it.
25:30
And we're not letting weeds start jumping in there where the
25:35
flowers get choked out for that entire environment.
25:40
So how does that translate into communication?
25:43
Yeah. So that really goes into our
25:46
five escapes of communication. So the five escapes of commune
25:50
escape are Mindscape, speakscape, voice, scape, listen
25:57
scape, and Impactscape. And so with that, the first is
26:02
Mindscape, which is your mental patterns of how you're thinking
26:06
about communication or even the person that you are looking
26:09
across from, right? So Mindscape is set very
26:12
quickly. Sometimes, you know, we get on
26:14
camera, I see Clay. My mind is starting to make up
26:17
like, OK, who is Clay? Is he going to be fun?
26:20
Is he going to be energetic? Is he going to be mean, right?
26:24
We start coming in with what is our mindscape going to be about
26:28
that individual? And that's internal, you're
26:30
saying. So you're like we're internally
26:32
you're thinking that. It's your judgement, yeah.
26:36
Yeah, it's really the story you're telling yourself, right,
26:39
walking into any And before you start communicating, it's a
26:42
story you're telling yourself about what you're getting ready
26:45
to communicate about, OK? And then is that ever self
26:49
reflecting where you're like, OK, so I'm going to be thinking
26:51
this about clay and then how you are acting when you're bringing
26:55
to the table in that or is it just how you're perceiving
26:58
others? So it is how you yourself also,
27:02
so you're reflecting yourself and how you're perceiving others
27:05
in those moments. OK, I got it.
27:07
Thank you. Yes, yeah.
27:09
And that then flows into your speakscape, which is then the
27:13
words that you default saying. So it's it's kind of widely
27:19
known out there that there's four different temperaments,
27:22
everyone's heard of disk and different assessments that way.
27:26
Blakely, why are you so excited about disk?
27:28
Do you want to share what you are?
27:30
I have never heard of disk. No, I was going to talk about
27:33
the temperament or I love the temperament stuff, OK.
27:37
Or parenting. I like it for parenting.
27:39
We'll talk about it. So disk is it's a personality
27:43
test assessment, right? It's personality assessment.
27:47
There's another assessment called I said this, you heard
27:49
that goes into the same four different communication
27:55
temperaments, you get a color. Heather, you get a color.
27:59
Oh, we did that at Cloud Coach and I think I was orange anyway.
28:03
Not an option. Not an option.
28:05
OK, never mind. Must have been Cinco de Mayo de.
28:10
Yeah, I've already taken PTO on May 6th.
28:14
Just saying. OK.
28:16
Yeah, go ahead. Yeah.
28:18
So, so with that, your speakscape is really determined
28:22
from #1 what your mental mode is that you're coming into the
28:26
conversation with. And then secondly, your default
28:29
words that you, you just by your temperament default to saying.
28:34
So for instance, I happen to use a lot of words of like power and
28:38
hurry and let's go. And why didn't this happen?
28:42
And that's just one temperament. So when I look at the speakscape
28:46
in communication, I have to recognize my own temperament,
28:50
but also I need to be prepared to be multilingual and speaking
28:54
the temperament of those around me.
28:57
Because it's not just good enough for me to be me and to
29:01
force everyone to adapt to me. It's my job to adapt to those
29:06
around me. And So what would another so
29:08
yours is like moving forward? Let's go get this.
29:11
And what would the opposite of that be?
29:13
So the opposite of that is calm and harmony.
29:16
So hey, is everyone good with the plan that we're going to do?
29:20
Like are we all going to be there?
29:22
Is everyone included as kind of the direct opposite of kind of
29:27
that power and control? So if you and I were figuring
29:30
out where to go to dinner and I'm the Calm 1, the Harmonizer,
29:36
then and you're there, we're on vacation and it's like, OK, so
29:39
what's the plan? You're going to be like, OK, I
29:42
can't take this. Like we are making a plan.
29:43
I'm going to choose this. We're going to be like, well,
29:44
did we ask everybody else? And can so and so make it?
29:47
And do they have ADA? Because otherwise my mom might
29:48
not be able to make the stairs. And you're like, she'll figure
29:51
it out. Like let's, we're, we're going.
29:53
That's yeah, pretty good example.
29:55
And also throw in there that I would say, where do you want to
29:57
go, Heather? And you'd be like, oh, I don't
29:58
care wherever you choose. And I'm like, no, just tell me
30:01
where you want to go and will go.
30:04
So you are not necessarily about controlling the situation to get
30:08
what you want. You just want the decision to be
30:10
made. So you're about like, how do we
30:12
get here? So you're, you're still going to
30:13
offer me what, what would you like, but you're going to force
30:17
a decision versus. Sitting in I'm I'm the what's
30:19
the plan? What's the plan?
30:21
And how do we, how do we move towards making that happen?
30:25
Right. That's me by the way, too.
30:27
That's how I am. And you're red.
30:30
I'm red. You're red.
30:32
I'm wearing red. You.
30:33
Can't write that. You can't write that.
30:35
OK All right, cool. All right.
30:37
What's next? OK, so that's your speakscape.
30:39
So then your voice scape is your actual vocal mechanics.
30:43
So think of the tone that you use, right?
30:45
So Blakely brought up, you know, with kids, right?
30:47
Tone comes out maybe differently with kids, but it still comes
30:51
out in the workplace. You're using that tone.
30:53
Why are you yelling at me, Mom? I'm like, I'm talking.
30:56
I'm just talking. You're yelling.
30:57
This is just how my voice is. So it could be tone, it could be
31:03
pace, right? So how quickly are we talking
31:05
about something versus taking a moment to slow it down and
31:09
really lean into a given topic? So voice scape is all about your
31:14
true like vocal mechanics. Think of, you know, the improv
31:18
stage shows how they teach you to use your voice.
31:23
And is that something that can be changed?
31:26
I mean, we are are. We are all born with a unique
31:29
voice. Mm Hmm, it was just crazy.
31:32
Can we just pause and think about how crazy that is?
31:35
Out of all of the millions and gazillions of people in the
31:38
world, we all have a unique voice.
31:40
Do we? Yeah, No one sounds like me.
31:42
Same as fingerprints. No, not exactly.
31:45
I mean, there's people who can imitate your voice or sound very
31:48
close to you, but no one has your exact voice.
31:51
Yeah. Wild.
31:52
Anyway, OK, so you have, you're kind of born with this and then
31:56
you're saying there's things you can do to learn how to change
32:02
that voice to be better heard by others or what?
32:06
Are you not yell right? Like you don't have to yell.
32:10
Well just not yell is a good option.
32:12
That's a great place to start. Great place to start if that's
32:15
the feedback you're getting. C8.
32:18
Yeah, Brittany, get in here. Help.
32:19
Help. Please help.
32:21
Or we could enunciate and not be under armed by the and and
32:24
mumble through. It oh a mumbler.
32:26
Right, so you're. Never.
32:32
The whisper, you're never going to change.
32:37
Like my voice is my voice right now.
32:41
There are things that you can do.
32:42
So one of the fun facts that I love to share is actually a
32:46
lower voice register brings more authority to what you're saying
32:52
so you can practice. It's true.
32:56
So I agree completely with this but I was born with a squeaky
32:59
voice and this I've thought about going on testosterone just
33:04
to get a low voice, especially for this podcast.
33:06
So if you don't. You're going to don't do it for
33:10
that if you have low. Testosterone for this.
33:13
But you're going to transition just to get respect.
33:15
I feel like there's other ways. There are other ways.
33:19
OK, I'm not going to do that. OK, good.
33:22
But Brittany teaches me how to get to a lower register.
33:26
I don't think that's possible. Can you teach me right now?
33:30
OK, well, first, if you're talking on your breath out, so
33:34
or on your breath in, right? So a lot of people are like, OK,
33:37
I'm going to get ready to talk. And you take a deep breath in.
33:39
You're like, hi, my name is Brittany, right?
33:42
The breath in brings your tone up automatically.
33:45
But if you take a deep breath in and then speak on The Voice out,
33:49
Hi, my name is Brittany. Brittany, you can drop your
33:53
lead, your register, You can drop your register right there.
33:59
Hello. Hello.
34:01
Hi I'm. Impressed.
34:05
I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I mean.
34:07
You're going to think we're strong on this.
34:09
Podcast. Today.
34:12
OK, but OK, this is interesting though.
34:14
It's really, it's really interesting.
34:15
First of all, it pisses me off because I think that it's it's a
34:18
male, female thing. I think traditionally
34:20
conditioning, you know, I'm always spotting about
34:22
conditioning because it's freaking true that we have come
34:25
to respect a deeper voice because that has always been
34:27
authority, has traditionally been male, which is
34:30
traditionally a lower voice. So I'm a little bit like, yes,
34:35
we, I'm interested, but also is there room where we've need to
34:39
be like, no, we also just need to learn how to respect higher
34:42
voices. Yes, right.
34:44
I mean, the answer is yes, we should respect whatever voice is
34:47
coming across to us. But when we look at the
34:51
biological side of things right there is it takes time to change
34:57
conditioning for hearing and those biological things that we
35:02
we can't just influence like that because we wish that it was
35:06
different. So true, that's so true.
35:12
But OK, so Blakely, I guess we do need to get you down a couple
35:15
octaves so. Get me on that testosterone.
35:18
Breathing out, so no. I'm going to get somewhere.
35:20
Speaking on the breath out is going to be the first thing
35:23
speaking, not the breath in. OK.
35:27
I like that. That is a really good tip.
35:28
It's a great tip, yeah. Yeah.
35:31
I also don't really hear your high voice.
35:32
So I also wonder if it's, you know, how we hear our voice
35:35
differently in our head. Like, I hate when I have to
35:38
listen back to this podcast and I'm like, was I plugging my nose
35:41
the whole time? It's so nasally.
35:43
Oh yeah. I hate that.
35:45
But but I don't hear you as someone that has like a high
35:48
pitched voice, I think your voice is perfect.
35:50
It's normal. Thank you.
35:53
Those are what I need, those words of affirmation.
35:56
It's my love language. I'm learning.
35:59
OK. All right.
35:59
Brittany, had you ever done work personally on your voice or
36:04
just. Some some, but I think I fell in
36:09
love with communication a long time ago and have just worked
36:12
over the years of presentation and pacing not being monotone at
36:18
just kind of that dynamic. And I would say if anyone's
36:21
wanting to really start working on it without putting money into
36:25
it, start reading children's stories out loud and try to make
36:31
those those stories come to life.
36:33
Give the characters of voice, give the characters different
36:36
dynamics and that will start opening up different ways that
36:40
you can really work on your voice scape.
36:42
I love that. Can we touch on pacing for a
36:45
second? I think I've always been very
36:47
interested in how pacing makes a difference into what people are
36:51
able to hear and learn. And you can say the same phrase
36:57
3 or 4 times, but if you say it at different pacing or giving
37:01
emphasis to starting quickly and then slowing down, the, the
37:05
listener hears that differently. And so can interpret where the
37:09
importance is versus the in importance.
37:12
And it keeps the dynamic and the listener engaged, right.
37:16
We talk a lot about keeping people engaged, especially as
37:19
we're all still on video. How do you keep people engaged
37:22
as you have to keep the listening so that it's not the
37:25
same or predictable necessarily in the tone and pacing of where
37:30
it's going? I think you're really good at
37:33
that, Clay. I think you do.
37:35
Really. I noticed that in our sticky
37:36
situation episodes, the way you ask the questions a lot of time,
37:39
I think you have really good pacing that kind of puts you on
37:41
the edge of your seat. I noticed that about you.
37:45
Thank you. Yeah, well, let's practice it.
37:47
So I'm going to say, guys, I ran across the finish line and I had
37:51
realized I totally peed my pants.
37:53
Slow down. Versus guys, when I crossed the
37:57
finish line, I looked down and I noticed I had.
38:01
You peed your pants totally. Peed my pants.
38:04
See, it's too slow. I jump in or.
38:07
Too slow guys. I was running so fast across the
38:10
finish line and when I got there I realized I had peed my pants.
38:15
That's. Good.
38:16
Oh, use both. That's.
38:17
Good. Because you kept the quick of
38:19
like you're running, right, the action is happening and then
38:22
it's like this is what happened. My pants OK.
38:27
Which takes us to our next one, which is Listenscape, which is 1
38:30
component of communication. And it is so true about the
38:35
processing because most of us fall in the trap of listening to
38:39
react. And some people like to say
38:42
listen to respond, but it really is you're listening to get your
38:44
next word in before truly understanding what the person is
38:50
saying. And so Listenscape is by far
38:53
where I probably work with people the most is to really
38:58
make sure that they're understanding what the other
39:00
person is saying before they start adding their own thoughts
39:03
into the mix. And that's what really starts
39:06
building trust within individuals and teams and even
39:10
into those corporations where we always hear like, well, the they
39:14
never listen to us. And so it's really making sure
39:17
that that Listenscape is built to be able to receive
39:20
information, process it, and then respond to to what is there
39:26
that needs to be responded to. Yeah, 100% likely.
39:29
Did you get all that? Do you want to?
39:35
Blakely got caught not listening last week, so we're going to
39:37
just keep giving her crap about it.
39:40
Pop quiz I was. Distracted.
39:42
No, I did actually get all that. Thank you very much.
39:45
Yeah. But we're on a podcast and isn't
39:50
it kind of your job to like, jump in and say something that's
39:53
relevant? So how can you do this?
39:56
You know, how can you actually apply this?
39:58
Because we're always listening to react and listening to
40:01
respond versus listening to understand.
40:04
Essentially. Or we're just.
40:06
Doing it quickly. We're doing it quickly.
40:07
Yeah. Yeah.
40:09
We're just like the top of our class Clay and our listening
40:13
scape. We really are, all right.
40:15
What's the fifth one? That was the 4th 1 Brittany.
40:17
That was the 4th 1. So the fifth one, yeah, the
40:19
fifth one is impact scape. And so this is the hardest for
40:23
people to really get on board with because it's something that
40:26
you don't control. And even if you're not a control
40:29
freak, we all want to control things around us.
40:32
And so Impactscape is the cumulative of those other 4
40:36
scapes of did your communication actually land?
40:40
So was it actually received in an impactful manner?
40:44
And then is it making a short term or long term impact?
40:48
And is it making a positive or negative impact?
40:51
And this is not, hey, I gave someone bad news, so it's going
40:54
to be a negative impact. You could give someone the worst
40:57
performance review of their life and have it be a positive impact
41:01
and how you've created this environment that you are
41:04
communicating with them in that moment.
41:08
So you've worked with hundreds of leaders.
41:10
What would you say out of the five, most of them either
41:13
completely skip or underestimate the power of does 1 stand out?
41:19
I would say probably voice scape because people don't think about
41:24
the mechanics of their voice. They just they delivered it.
41:27
What I mean, what else is there to do?
41:30
Why do I need to slow down or speed up, you know, or use any
41:34
kind of inflection necessarily in that communication and.
41:37
Then when they get to that fifth one, Ideascape, then is that the
41:43
evaluation impact? Damn it, I'm going to say it
41:46
again. I'm going to say it again.
41:47
No, I don't get correct. Not going to cut it.
41:49
He's not going to cut it. He's trying to cut it.
41:51
Wrong. You didn't understand it, you
41:53
didn't listen to it and. An I word OK idea.
42:01
Here's what happened. This is interesting.
42:04
When you were describing impact state scape, I assumed that that
42:09
would be the one that most leaders skip, that they would
42:11
walk away and assume that everybody heard them, that it
42:14
all went fine and then they would expect results because
42:16
they had the meeting and they told everybody, so let's move
42:18
on. So that's why I asked the
42:20
question because in my head I was like, oh, I bet this is the
42:23
one that leaders skip. And so then I asked the
42:25
question. And see, I jumped in with an
42:28
answer before fully understanding because in my
42:30
mind, impact is not something that I get to determine.
42:34
So I as a leader don't really get to do impact scape.
42:38
It's what the other fours, the other four areas that I do
42:42
control, right? It's the output of that.
42:45
Right. OK, so both could be true.
42:47
Look at this communication. I mean, this is fantastic.
42:50
I'm I'm giving this a 10 out of 10 on that one.
42:54
Let's talk about a time when it was not ten out of 10.
42:56
Like I said, you've worked with hundreds of companies.
42:58
So can you tell us about a time where it just went off the rails
43:03
or what went wrong in the heat of the moment?
43:06
Yeah. So I'll share a personal story
43:11
back a number of years. I had sold all, I was in sales.
43:17
I had closed my quota. The company had sent our family
43:22
to an all expenses paid trip to Disney World and I came back,
43:27
Yeah, it was great. I was on top of the world and I
43:31
came back to an e-mail from my boss that basically said, Hey,
43:36
stay out of the office a few more days and I'll reach out,
43:41
you know, a few days from now and, and we'll connect again.
43:45
Like this is one of those moments where I don't remember
43:46
all the the fine details. And I was like, OK, you know,
43:50
I'm like, I'm starting to go through my mind.
43:52
I'm like, OK, well, I had everything that I was supposed
43:54
to like just congratulate. Like maybe it's just a few more
43:57
days off. Like cool.
43:59
And and I went into the office, finally said, hey, come on in
44:03
tomorrow and we are walking around Times Square and just
44:10
kind of getting berated for how I achieved the outcomes that had
44:16
come from this last year. And I was like, wait, I don't
44:19
like this just isn't making sense.
44:21
This isn't making sense. And how that entire
44:27
communication environment of just choosing to be out on the
44:30
streets of New York trying to process this information and
44:34
maybe we have a position for you, maybe we don't.
44:38
That's where I look back and I say that was an infrastructure
44:43
failure. When we look at communication
44:47
and how to actually get a point across of OK, if something was
44:52
wrong, that's not how you motivate someone to make a
44:57
change and move on in a positive manner.
45:02
So. That's so strange.
45:04
So yeah, this is this person. Happened.
45:08
Did you stay there? So I so I stayed there for for a
45:11
bit longer, yes, because I was like, OK, like let me, my brain
45:15
is trying to figure out what's going on, right?
45:16
I'm like now in a mystery show, I feel like in my own mind of
45:20
like trying to figure out what's going to unfold.
45:23
So stay there, stay there for a bit longer.
45:25
Huge culture shift and then ultimately parted ways and
45:29
started started my own company from there.
45:33
And that's really one of those defining moments for
45:36
Communiscape because I never wanted anyone to experience that
45:41
again. I wanted communication to be
45:44
very clear, to be kind, and to get the results that everyone
45:49
involved in it should be getting results of.
45:51
Good for you. I love when people take a bad
45:53
situation and they just do something about it and just made
45:56
something beautiful and grew something out of that.
45:58
Because you've said this too, that it, this communication
46:01
environment flows top down. And so you've created a scenario
46:06
where now you can implement that change in organizations top
46:10
down. Are you typically working with
46:12
like C-Suite level to accomplish that top down?
46:15
Typically working with C-Suite and the leaders under them and
46:19
actually working with a telecommunications company right
46:22
now that they are on their second implementation, their RE
46:26
implementation of ACRM because their first one got about a 20%
46:30
adoption rate. And so going into the second
46:33
one, they said we, we have to do something differently.
46:36
And I said, well, I think communication is a big part of
46:39
that. And so when I stepped in, you
46:42
know, I said, what is your target for adoption this time?
46:44
They wouldn't want to take a stab at what they said. 100%.
46:48
100%, yeah, 100% we had 20% last time.
46:52
We want 100% adoption, like, OK, well, well, why 20% last time
46:57
and this and you know, we start working through it and we set
47:00
the mental, the mindscape for what this project means for the
47:04
company, right? Like why are we doing this
47:06
project? Why now?
47:08
What is the impact? And then from that leadership
47:11
mode of having the mental and the mindscape set, then we can
47:15
start creating the words that go along with the project and how
47:19
we're going to communicate it. And then how we're going to
47:22
create ways for the team to give feedback and for us to listen
47:26
how the project is going. And then we see the impact of it
47:30
coming out at a much higher adoption rate with success
47:35
defined around what we can all say that yes, this was
47:38
successful and this is how we got there.
47:40
It's a great positioning for what your company offers because
47:45
it's different than, hey, this is a behavioral analysis.
47:48
Let's just see, you know, kind of the the players that we're
47:51
dealing with and then cater to that.
47:53
You're saying, yes, that's a factor.
47:55
And we're going to create the mindscape.
47:58
We're going to create the language we're using around this
48:00
all toward the outcome that we want and putting that on the
48:04
table that that's possible having people.
48:07
Blakely, you always say this, slow your corporate role, slow
48:10
your corporate role. Don't rush to go implement
48:12
because then you're going to spend a year undoing it.
48:15
So have some forethought, have a plan and shape everyone's
48:20
expectations, acknowledging that there are these five scapes to
48:25
it, not just the one of like, hey, what's the press equivalent
48:28
of the press release that we're going to put out on this?
48:30
What's the messaging? It's like, no, it's a little bit
48:32
deeper than that. That's a massive, massive impact
48:36
impact scape to a successful outcome.
48:42
I love it, I love it. Right, like they've been talking
48:46
a lot. Sorry, what?
48:47
What do you got? You said that when you had this
48:52
horrible interaction on the streets of New York, you said
48:56
you didn't want anyone to ever feel that way.
49:00
And you, what I heard was you want communication to be clear
49:04
and communication to be kind. And you often hear that clear
49:09
communication is kind communication.
49:11
Like you can give someone a bad performance review and it can be
49:16
the most impactful review because you've communicated
49:19
clearly and kindly. Are you teaching kindness in one
49:23
of these five scapes, or does that come from being?
49:28
Clear. I think that really comes from
49:31
being clear and from setting your mindscape right?
49:35
Because if you're coming in with a preconceived notion, it's
49:39
acknowledging that and quite frankly, probably setting it to
49:43
the side to say, OK, I'm in this now.
49:46
What does the person across from me or this room need to hear in
49:50
this moment for communication to be clear, thus kind as you said,
49:56
they're kind of now getting interchanged a lot and not going
50:00
back and rehashing like OK, as we discussed last quarter, blah,
50:06
blah, blah, blah, blah. That's very different than like
50:08
where we're at right now. So staying focused and present
50:11
on what does the individual need to hear right now that's going
50:14
to bring benefit and move us all in the direction and and get the
50:19
results that we're all looking for.
50:22
But how are you doing that in a leadership position where it's
50:26
not always one-on-one? And I think specifically to the
50:31
temperaments which is which scape remind me.
50:36
That's in Speakscape. Speakscape, right?
50:39
So in Speakscape you are really trying, you've got your own
50:44
temperament, but you have to learn how to speak in other
50:47
people's temperament. And I, as someone who lives in a
50:49
household of three different temperaments like this is.
50:52
And we've talked about this a lot before.
50:54
Yeah, like. Like we could actually have
50:56
Brittany come on and just do a parenting segment.
50:59
It would be incredible. But I have gotten, OK, not great
51:06
at speaking one way to my son in a very different way to my
51:10
daughter, but as a leader. And I'm talking to 100 people
51:13
and we're like going on this mission and I got to paint this
51:17
narrative. How am I able to communicate
51:20
that to the Reds, Blues, greens and yellows in the room?
51:25
I need to put together like an FAQ because this question always
51:28
gets asked and I love it. Oh, good.
51:31
Yes, because you're only in one-on-one communication maybe 5
51:36
to 7% of the time you're communicating right in most
51:39
roles. I mean, even now we're not in a
51:40
one to one. There's 3/3 of you that I'm
51:43
trying to figure out. OK, who's which temperament?
51:45
How do I, you know, talk to each of you?
51:47
He's the one that you. Wow, we got three Reds and a
51:52
I'm. Catching strays on this podcast
51:54
left and right. We got a wrap this.
52:00
Is and so with that, you, you architect the the overall
52:05
meeting or the overall presentation to hit all four
52:10
temperaments. OK, so this is going to be your
52:13
rapid fire. You open with your yellow
52:16
temperament, which is all focused on people and fun,
52:19
right. So you bring it in and you have,
52:22
you know, the question of like, you know, what was the strangest
52:27
animal you had growing up? Something that has that human
52:30
connection is fun and you open with something warm, very people
52:34
oriented. Then you shift over into the red
52:37
temperament, which is that power and control kind of our bullet
52:41
point people and say this is what we're going to cover today.
52:46
And here's the high level takeaways for that and go
52:49
through that in a very, like I said, high level.
52:53
I've done my research, but like these are my recommendations.
52:56
This is why I recommend it and move on from there into our blue
53:00
temperament and our Blues are looking for order, depth and
53:06
perfection. So they're looking and saying,
53:08
OK, they want that AI out print that we started the the session
53:11
with. They want to see all the
53:13
different ways we could have done this and understand that we
53:16
truly did choose the very best one and that you didn't just
53:20
make a quick decision. And so that in a group setting
53:25
could either be handing out or providing them with that
53:29
document so that they can digest it.
53:32
But giving it to them ahead of time is the real key so that
53:35
they can look it over before they even step into the setting.
53:40
And then we end with our greens, which we talked about a little
53:43
bit, 'cause they're the opposite of of red with that harmony and
53:47
calm. And so with them, we want to
53:49
bring it back around and say, OK, you know, does anyone have
53:53
questions on this, what might not be clear?
53:57
How do we move? How do you see us moving forward
53:59
together as a united force on this?
54:05
And then as time allows, ending on yellow with any kind of fun
54:08
pieces at that point? But that's really how you
54:12
architect a group setting, either presentation or or
54:16
meeting. That is incredible.
54:19
I have never ever heard that advice before.
54:25
And the power behind it is that if you skip any of these, you've
54:29
lost a whole group of people and you can see the.
54:32
Entire. Yep.
54:33
Right into agenda. The yellows are like I can't
54:36
like what is this? Why am I here or?
54:38
They're I'm just a number, you know, they didn't even.
54:42
If you skip the research, it's oh, we're Wheeling way too fast.
54:45
We need to, I mean, then you start to create the little
54:47
cancers, the meetings after the meetings where people would
54:50
leave that and then like the yellows go in a room and they're
54:53
like, why? And then the weeds.
54:54
Start coming up. Yeah, and the weeds start coming
54:57
up because we've skipped. You haven't satisfied that.
55:00
And then that stuff starts to spread, so you have to hit all
55:02
the points. It's so good.
55:03
I. Bet you you could like if you
55:05
had that formula. What was that?
55:06
Yellow, red, blue-green like I and then yellow right?
55:10
I bet you if you got really trained in that you could almost
55:13
incorporate it into every sentence.
55:15
Not like super detailed but every paragraph right to.
55:20
Keep everyone engaged the whole time.
55:22
Yes, like like think about all your, your sales kickoff
55:26
meetings where you have to go and you have to like.
55:28
Set the. Vision, how you're going to get
55:30
to the vision, what you expect of everyone in the room and rah
55:34
rah, we're going to have fun and we're going to go change the
55:37
world. But please skip that last line.
55:39
You know when I think about every time you had to go up and
55:42
do that. Like if I had had.
55:45
That like yellow, red, blue-green, yellow.
55:49
Like, I just think it would have really been a little more
55:52
powerful. And then I wonder if leaders
55:55
present naturally the color they are and they just expect
55:59
everyone else. Like if you had a blue that was
56:01
like leading the presentation and they're like, Oh my gosh,
56:03
everyone's going to be so impressed with my slides and the
56:05
research and. All that well, think of the last
56:06
think of the last technology demo that you just experienced,
56:09
right? They went in every single you
56:11
click here, you click here, you click here, you click here and
56:14
they're like, isn't it great? And you're like, no.
56:18
Yeah. Right.
56:19
Those are the same people that get really pissed if you start
56:21
the meeting with like, so how was everyone's weekend?
56:24
And like, did anybody do anything fun this weekend?
56:26
And they're just like, they can't handle it.
56:29
We're wasting minutes when really you're just trying to
56:31
build relationship and yeah, for.
56:35
Can we ask Brittany on the pod right now?
56:39
Can you please come back and we do a full episode on that that
56:44
you just shared too? Because that would be amazing to
56:47
go point by point because I thought this episode was about
56:50
the scapes. This episode now has opened up
56:55
like, whoa. There's like so much more here
56:57
that we should get into, but I want to give it its own, you
57:02
know, time and all that saying we would love to have you back.
57:06
That would be amazing. She's like I would for $600.00
57:10
an hour. Clay, I'd be happy to to walk
57:11
you guys through your own plan with this.
57:14
We can just do, we could just do live coaching here and you know,
57:18
really get into it with Heather and and Blakely and have them
57:21
take the assessments ahead of time 100.
57:24
Percent. I'm so in Blakely.
57:25
This could be another live, another sub stack live.
57:29
Oh yeah. Mm hmm.
57:30
I think it'd be really beneficial.
57:31
I mean, think about it, Blakely. It's crazy that you and I LED
57:34
those companies for over 10 years and didn't have this
57:39
backdrop. It is a little crazy.
57:42
OK. So you're coming back on.
57:43
So we don't really need to close, although I just want to
57:45
ask one quick final question between now and when we come
57:48
back together again. Never a quick final question.
57:51
Well, but it is that's. A3 parter.
57:54
You know, I would just want to know for somebody who they're
57:56
listening to this, it's resonating with them.
57:58
Is there one simple step forward that they could take even today
58:03
to work on one of these scapes, or just communication in general
58:08
that they could start to put into practice on this journey?
58:11
Yeah, I, it's kind of like a daily mantra that I have started
58:16
incorporating and it really looks at, I have a tendency to
58:22
over talk or talk over others, but I'm going to choose to pause
58:28
before responding. And so you can then take, you
58:33
know, when you wake up or you come into the office, kind of
58:36
sit and say, OK, where am I at today?
58:37
And it's going to be reflecting on.
58:39
I have the tendency to insert something you see as a negative
58:44
communication pattern and then say today I'm going to choose to
58:49
and insert that positive communication pattern that you
58:52
want to do for that day. OK, so mine is going to be.
58:56
I have a tendency to make assumptions, so instead I'm
59:03
going to ask questions. Yeah, and maybe it's.
59:07
I'm going to ask 2 questions before responding, right?
59:11
If we get into our SMART goals, we gotta.
59:14
OK. Have two We can't just leave it
59:16
open. This was fun today.
59:18
I think we turned up. I think we sneakily got Brittany
59:22
to give us like a workshop. So thanks for that.
59:25
Of course we asked. We asked for another.
59:28
One, send your bill to claycarnell@notallbusiness.com
59:32
and just there we go stand by and wait for payment.
59:36
Now this is amazing. Thank you so much.
59:39
You've given us a ton to think about and I really appreciate
59:43
your your leadership in this space and teaching us about
59:46
communication. And I love the scapes I love.
59:50
We're going to bring you back and dig into it more, but we
59:52
really appreciate your time today.
59:54
Brittany, before we let you go, we do ask one question of all of
59:58
our guests and we answered ourselves, which is what brought
1:00:01
a smile to your face this week. And if you need to think about
1:00:05
it, we can let you go later. Yeah, well.
1:00:09
Come back to me. Come back to you, OK?
1:00:10
Yeah, no problem. I've got mine.
1:00:14
Let's hear it go. So go.
1:00:20
We have unleashed a monster. Yeah, go.
1:00:23
It's. One word.
1:00:26
OK, so my, we, I love music, love playing music.
1:00:32
And I want to pass that on to my son, the joy of playing music.
1:00:35
And I had to, I went to go visit a friend who's a drummer.
1:00:40
Heather, our friend Gabe and I took my son Emeris with me and
1:00:46
we weren't planning on playing music, but we, I packed because
1:00:49
he's a, he's a drummer. So I packed, you know, the, the,
1:00:53
the, your protection, you know, just in case, you know, he's
1:00:56
like, he's got a few minutes. We can go into the studio
1:00:58
anyway, So we, we show up and he's like, you guys want to play
1:01:01
some drums? And I'm like, yes.
1:01:02
So then Emers and I go in and Emers kind of starts banging on
1:01:06
a piano. We play drums for a little bit,
1:01:08
but Emers starts banging on the piano and Gabe sits down on the
1:01:12
drum kit and he starts playing. And I don't have an instrument.
1:01:16
There's like not another one around.
1:01:18
So I just kind of like disappear.
1:01:20
And they played together for 15 minutes.
1:01:24
And. Uninterrupted.
1:01:26
This is a six year old and a 36 year old 30.
1:01:30
Four, who also has the heart of a six year old.
1:01:32
Who has the heart of a six year old?
1:01:34
And it was the biggest smile. And there's one added little
1:01:38
smile on the end, which is that finishes.
1:01:41
We go to walk out. Emirs looks on the wall, points
1:01:44
at the wall and says, I really like that picture up there.
1:01:47
And it's one of Gabe's albums that he had released.
1:01:51
And he's like, I just like the explosion.
1:01:54
And then Emirs keeps walking and what was the biggest smile?
1:01:58
I was like, I look at Gabe and we both smile.
1:02:00
Because underneath that is a platinum record that signifies
1:02:04
that he sold 2 million of a song.
1:02:07
You know, 2 million of. Of a song and Gabe or gave and
1:02:10
Emress could care less about any of that.
1:02:14
None of the And it's so shiny. And when, you know, when an
1:02:18
adult walks in that room, it's the first thing you see because
1:02:21
it's so big and so shiny. But he didn't see any of that.
1:02:25
He just saw like, I like the cool picture of the explosion.
1:02:28
And then he just like, continues walking out.
1:02:30
And so it was just such a nice like.
1:02:32
That is so beautiful. So yeah, the drummer we're
1:02:34
talking about is the drummer in I Prevail.
1:02:37
That band, they've been nominated for a Grammy.
1:02:40
They are just huge success. 2 Grammys now, 2 Grammys.
1:02:44
Well, they're coming to Denver November 11th.
1:02:47
So I think we're going to go. Clay, you should come out for
1:02:49
it. It would.
1:02:51
If it was going to be at Red Rocks, I would actually make you
1:02:53
come out for it because that needs to be the first.
1:02:56
But it's going to be a ball arena, which is massive.
1:02:58
So cool. Anyway, we should do it.
1:03:00
It's still a good venue. Yeah, I like shows up all.
1:03:03
OK, Blakely. Oh, I think I shared with our
1:03:07
listeners like 6 weeks ago that this is going to be like a
1:03:10
really tough time because we had all these surgeries.
1:03:13
We just had the 3rd and final like knock on wood surgery in
1:03:17
the family yesterday. So husband got a knee
1:03:20
replacement, dog got spayed, and Eldon got my son got his ACL
1:03:26
done yesterday. All went fairly well.
1:03:31
But my favorite part of all my family members getting surgery
1:03:37
is the anesthesia. Like when?
1:03:39
They give him the drugs and they quiet down or yeah.
1:03:43
So good. You're like 2 hours of blissful
1:03:47
peace. You mean when they're coming out
1:03:50
of it? Like the funny things?
1:03:51
They say I like it when they they go in and then they come
1:03:54
back out, right. So the nurse brought us back in
1:03:57
really early. She's like, I normally don't
1:03:59
bring family back, but your son is really funny and he was
1:04:04
talking so weird. Did you get video?
1:04:07
I got the best video I wish I could read.
1:04:11
I remember exactly what he said. But at some point I remember
1:04:13
going like, hey, do you know who I am?
1:04:16
And he's like. Yeah, you're my mom, like.
1:04:21
He. Sounded like he's underwater and
1:04:25
then I'm like, what do you do with that is?
1:04:27
And he was like. Who the hell is that guy, Dad?
1:04:32
It's. Like the whale in like Finding
1:04:36
Nemo or whatever. Like the?
1:04:37
River. But he was trying to like, make
1:04:40
a joke by saying like, who is that?
1:04:42
And then he says dad, but he's talking to dad.
1:04:44
It was like it was still meta. It was really funny.
1:04:47
Like we were laughing so hard. So that was like my favorite
1:04:50
part. That's fun.
1:04:51
Get him to sign a HIPAA release and we'll put it on the sub
1:04:54
stack on the video. It was really good.
1:04:58
I wonder it's a good one. He might.
1:05:00
You do need to have him sign the HIPAA release though if you were
1:05:02
actually going to do that. Oh dear.
1:05:04
Oh. Yeah, absolutely.
1:05:06
It's medical. We can't, OK?
1:05:07
Brittany smiles. Now I wish I kind of had gone
1:05:12
first. These are some epic smile
1:05:14
stories. So we had we had my my brother
1:05:20
in law's over recently and and they were all jumping out on the
1:05:26
trampoline. So grown men with my two sons
1:05:28
out on the trampoline and the trampoline has been around for a
1:05:32
while. And so I'm inside and all of a
1:05:37
sudden one of my sons comes running in and he's like.
1:05:39
Mom. Uncle Greg went through the
1:05:43
trampoline. Oh no.
1:05:47
And unfortunately, I don't have a video about this, but poor
1:05:49
Uncle Greg's foot, like leg is through the trampoline.
1:05:53
Yeah, it has to be the one. And now it's like this whole
1:05:56
thing that they were like trying to make it bigger, the boys.
1:05:58
Of course, I've turned this into an experiment.
1:06:00
But yes, we'll we'll be replacing the mat on the
1:06:03
trampoline soon. But that was which.
1:06:05
Is not cheap, by the way, as as it's.
1:06:08
Basically like a new trampoline. 20 years, yeah.
1:06:11
It's. Expensive.
1:06:12
Yeah. Yeah.
1:06:13
So that that definitely I was like, well, it wasn't me.
1:06:16
So that brought the smile to my face.
1:06:19
Can you imagine, mom? They would not have been as nice
1:06:22
if it was the mom that did it too.
1:06:24
They would have gone super angry, no?
1:06:26
Especially when all the pee was on the trampoline, you know?
1:06:32
You're still trying to get her to tell her peace story, aren't
1:06:34
you? I.
1:06:34
Think we have? Well, I guess I'm coming back,
1:06:36
so maybe by that that point. Build a little more.
1:06:40
Build a little more trust, yes. OK, Heather, what's?
1:06:43
Your OK Mine just seeing Kate in another show.
1:06:47
I mean, come on. I can't, I can't help.
1:06:50
Like she's just she's so good, so good.
1:06:53
That's my daughter Brittany. She's in the musical theatre.
1:06:57
She's done it her whole life. Now she's in college, so she's
1:06:59
just doing kind of community stuff for fun.
1:07:02
But it's just, I, man, I just, tears come.
1:07:05
Like even unfunny scenes, like it's just something about seeing
1:07:07
your kid out there doing what they love that it just makes me
1:07:11
so, so, so happy. Beautiful.
1:07:14
It was great and she's really coming into her own, so that was
1:07:17
fun. Heather Heather Texas videos of
1:07:20
her trying to sneak like in the she's in the theater trying to
1:07:24
film her daughter and the cameras like shaking and then it
1:07:27
goes down and it's like, that's her leg, but you can still hear.
1:07:30
I know because I because. It's a proud mom.
1:07:35
I am. I have to have it.
1:07:37
Well, I think it's really annoying that these places it's
1:07:40
like they're like no cameras, No, no video, right.
1:07:43
You pay your ticket, you go in, but they don't film it.
1:07:46
I'm like this is. They should film it.
1:07:48
I'm like, yeah, I would, absolutely.
1:07:50
So much more money. Yes, I would buy your DVD or
1:07:54
whatever. If you would just film it, I
1:07:56
would pay you $30.00. But you're choosing not to give
1:07:58
me this option. So I'm gonna sneak a video,
1:08:00
'cause it's my daughter and I'm gonna I love it.
1:08:04
It was great. I loved it.
1:08:05
And then close second was that Boston Marathon thing.
1:08:09
Like it just made me so happy. It filled me with joy.
1:08:11
It just filled me with so much joy.
1:08:12
Got. To go Google that, let's wrap
1:08:14
this show up. I got to.
1:08:16
I'll do it all right. Brittany, how can people stay in
1:08:21
contact with you or get a hold of you, hire you?
1:08:25
Where can they find you? Yeah, I'm super active on
1:08:29
LinkedIn, so you can find me at slash Brittany Hart on LinkedIn
1:08:35
and then ART. Thank you I'll.
1:08:38
Put it in the show notes. But I just want people to know,
1:08:41
yeah. And then also at
1:08:43
communiscape.com, you learn more and there's contact us form.
1:08:49
And so we'd love to hear from you and get connected.
1:08:52
Awesome. Thanks for being here, Brittany.
1:08:54
Yeah. Thank you.
1:08:56
Thanks everybody. See you next time.