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MONEY DIARIES: From Getting Drained to Absolutely Dominating! · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
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Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it. She's on the Money, She's on
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Speaker 2: the Money. Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money
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Speaker 2: the podcast and millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back
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Speaker 2: to another one of our money diaries where we get
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Speaker 2: to talk to one of our incredible She's on the
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Speaker 2: Money community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight
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Speaker 2: into it, because this week I got a message and
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Speaker 2: it went like this, Dear Victoria, I became a single
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Speaker 2: mom six months ago after finally getting the courage to
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Speaker 2: leave my ex. He was financially abusive and draining my
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Speaker 2: money for the six years we were together, but now
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Speaker 2: I'm recovering and flourishing. I finally feel like myself again
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Speaker 2: and have savings, investments, and I'm even putting money away
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Speaker 2: from my daughters who are one and two years old,
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Speaker 2: to help them with their studies when they finish school.
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Speaker 2: She's on the Money really helped me on this journey.
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Speaker 2: Money Diarist, what a queen. Thank you, Welcome to the show.
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Speaker 2: I'm so excited to talk to you and get to
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Speaker 2: know you a little bit better, as I'm sure all
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Speaker 2: our listeners are as well. Do you want to jump
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Speaker 2: straight into it?
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Speaker 3: That sounds good and I'm so i stoked to be
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Speaker 3: here because finding Cheese on the Money has absolutely changed
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Speaker 3: the trajectory of my life.
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Speaker 2: Oh my god.
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Speaker 3: So it's just so surreal that, like I'm talking to you.
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Speaker 2: I love it. I'm so excited about it, all right,
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Speaker 2: So let's jump in. My first question is I want
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Speaker 2: to know what would you give your money habits if
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Speaker 2: I asked you to give yourself a grade from A
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Speaker 2: through to F.
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Speaker 3: I think probably B minus, maybe B plus, because I
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Speaker 3: think I'm doing pretty well given my circumstances right now,
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Speaker 3: but I think there's always room to improve and to grow.
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Speaker 2: Love love, all right, I want to know can you
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Speaker 2: tell us a little bit more about your money story. Yeah.
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Speaker 3: So I got married when I was twenty three, and
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Speaker 3: at that stage I already owned my own home. I
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Speaker 3: had a little bit of savings, and my husband at
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Speaker 3: the time had no savings, no career as a student
3:01
Speaker 3: living in college accommodation. So I paid for our wedding
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Speaker 3: honeymoon first car I moved to Sydney to you know,
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Speaker 3: support him in his studies. I was working two jobs
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Speaker 3: at times to support our lifestyle, and he had, you know,
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Speaker 3: a few hours a week at McDonald's, so pretty much
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Speaker 3: I was just pouring all my money and savings into
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Speaker 3: my marriage. In retrospect, moving to Sydney was the worst idea.
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Speaker 3: It is so incredibly expensive. I still had my mortgage
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Speaker 3: back home as well, playing you know, outrageous Sydney rent.
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Speaker 3: And that kind of continued for the next few years.
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Speaker 3: I realized, you know, growing up in the church, like
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Speaker 3: we've never lived together before we got married, we never
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Speaker 3: really talked about finances, and in the first few months
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Speaker 3: of our marriage, I realized, oh my goodness, we spend
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Speaker 3: money very, very differently. It wasn't something we'd really discussed before.
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Speaker 3: So not only had I just poured all my money
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Speaker 3: into the wedding and New Sydney life, but I was
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Speaker 3: still sort of funding his lifestyle. Yeah. Wow, So that
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Speaker 3: had to change pretty quickly. And yeah, that just continued
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Speaker 3: for the next few years. We moved back home eventually
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Speaker 3: it was a bit more affordable and we wanted to
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Speaker 3: start a family. He was still studying at this point
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Speaker 3: and I was working full time. So over seven years,
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Speaker 3: things never really changed. He was always studying. I was
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Speaker 3: always the main breadwinner in our relationship, and so then
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Speaker 3: when I started my maternity leave, it was just really
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Speaker 3: challenging because all of a sudden, you know, I wasn't
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Speaker 3: making the same as before, and we had to rely
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Speaker 3: more on his income. And then just after I had
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Speaker 3: my second I think I realized just how toxic and
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Speaker 3: that the marriage should become. I think it was probably
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Speaker 3: always there, but I was a bit you know, rogues
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Speaker 3: colored glasses in love, and I just realized how drained
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Speaker 3: and exhausted I was, and I realized, Okay, I need
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Speaker 3: to make a very serious decision right now. And it
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Speaker 3: took me a few months. I really thought about it
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Speaker 3: from all angles. Am I making the right decision for me,
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Speaker 3: am I making the right decision for the girls. And
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Speaker 3: the biggest thing that held me back for so long
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Speaker 3: was finances because I was still even though it had
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Speaker 3: mostly been the main breadwinner, I was still on maternity leave,
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Speaker 3: so I did have my full pay and I was
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Speaker 3: so so worried about how I'm like in a couple
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Speaker 3: of the mortgage and pay for the girls. And I thought,
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Speaker 3: you know what, like my mental health can't suffer any longer,
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Speaker 3: Like I just have to do it and make it work.
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Speaker 3: And so I did, and I am, oh.
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Speaker 2: I'm so glad, are you? I love that, and I
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Speaker 2: love that you can say I'm thriving like that is
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Speaker 2: the best thing to hear ever, because you can hear
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Speaker 2: the energy and where that's coming from as well. It's
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Speaker 2: not just oh yeah, I'm doing well, like you're just
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Speaker 2: so excited to be in the position you're in, and
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Speaker 2: it makes me so happy, thank you.
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Speaker 3: It was. There was probably a few months where it
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Speaker 3: was really tricky and I just had to find my feet.
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Speaker 3: But now, yeah, as I said, I'm thriving. I don't
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Speaker 3: think I realized just how much of my money he
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Speaker 3: was draining. And when I was so worried about, you know,
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Speaker 3: doing it by myself, Like it's actually been easier because
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Speaker 3: I just have to worry about me and the girls.
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Speaker 2: I'm not funding somebody else's lifestyle exactly. Oh my gosh,
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Speaker 2: when you said before just because I'm really pervy that
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Speaker 2: your husband at the time was studying throughout your entire marriage,
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Speaker 2: was it always towards the same thing or was it
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Speaker 2: only because I've heard this historically that people sometimes bounce
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Speaker 2: around because they don't want to go into a full
6:38
Speaker 2: time job if they have a financially dependent person or
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Speaker 2: someone that they can be financially dependent upon, so they
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Speaker 2: keep going, Nah, the lifestyle is good, maybe I'll just
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Speaker 2: do another degree, or maybe I'll just you know, change degrees.
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Speaker 2: And they don't have a lot of clarity. So I
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Speaker 2: guess I'm asking not because I'm just pervy, but because
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Speaker 2: that seems to be a strategy, if that makes sense.
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Speaker 3: It is so interesting you said that because seeing a
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Speaker 3: therapists just to work through, you know, all this marriage
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Speaker 3: and unpack a lot of the things that went down.
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Speaker 3: And she said, you know, he is a textbook narcissist.
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Speaker 3: And she said, you know, like, I'm really not surprised
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Speaker 3: that he's kind of just coasted through his study journey.
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Speaker 3: She said, like, that is a very typical narcissistic behavior
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Speaker 3: you're finding him. He has no real motivation to finish,
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Speaker 3: to change what he's doing, And that absolutely rings true.
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Speaker 3: The first three and a half years he was studying
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Speaker 3: at Hillsong, and then when we got back home, he
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Speaker 3: decided he wanted to do teaching.
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Speaker 2: Wait, he was studying at Hillsong as in the church, Hillsong.
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Speaker 3: Yes, at the church. They've got a college that's attached
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Speaker 3: to the church. Yeah.
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Speaker 2: Cool.
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Speaker 3: And then he switched to teaching when we got home.
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Speaker 2: Then he studied teaching them. What did he do?
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Speaker 3: Are he's still studying teaching? He's still studying, I think
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Speaker 3: almost halfway along. Like it's just yeah, it was you know,
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Speaker 3: I'll just do one subject a semester. But oh, it's
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Speaker 3: so funny, like when we split up. You know, he's
7:59
Speaker 3: never done a summer some during his life, and he
8:01
Speaker 3: said to me, I'm doing you know, a couple of
8:03
Speaker 3: summer subjects this semester because I really need to finish
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Speaker 3: so that I can have a full time job.
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Speaker 2: You're like, wow, where's that motivation coming?
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Speaker 3: From I know, why couldn't you have had that motivation
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Speaker 3: years ago?
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Speaker 2: It's because he's being forced to have the motivation because
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Speaker 2: he's no longer got you to financially rely on exactly.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, all right, I want to know, obviously
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Speaker 2: you've managed to fund somebody else's life for this entire period.
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Speaker 2: What do you do for work? How much money do
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Speaker 2: you earn?
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Speaker 3: So I'm a primary school teacher. I actually had to
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Speaker 3: look this up because I wasn't sure what I I've
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Speaker 3: just finished my maternityly two weeks ago, so I haven't
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Speaker 3: quite jumped back into work yet because school's only just started.
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Speaker 3: But in my position, it's ninety four thousand dollars gross.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good, that's epic.
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Speaker 3: So I'm not going back to my full time work.
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Speaker 3: I've decided I'm just going to do some relief work.
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Speaker 3: And relief in Queensland. I think it's about four hundred
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Speaker 3: and forty dollars a day.
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Speaker 2: That's actually pretty good. That's more than I anticipated it
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Speaker 2: to be. But how consistent is relief work.
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Speaker 3: At the moment, I would say very There's definitely a
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Speaker 3: teacher shortage in Queensland, so I was even getting calls
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Speaker 3: on my maternity leave like.
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Speaker 2: Hey, can you come in, and you were like, no,
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Speaker 2: I'm literally on maternity leave. Sorry, that's not too bad.
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Speaker 2: And if you can do relief work for four hundred
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Speaker 2: and forty dollars a day, that's not bad at all.
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Speaker 2: Does that mean that you have to travel significantly though,
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Speaker 2: to different locations.
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Speaker 3: No, I'm in a great position where we are. I've
9:30
Speaker 3: got so many schools within walking distance, and then you know,
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Speaker 3: the school's five to ten minute drive. I'm in a
9:36
Speaker 3: really good placed location wise. I think the furtherest I
9:39
Speaker 3: would have to drive if I was desperate, would maybe
9:42
Speaker 3: be twenty minutes.
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Speaker 2: Live in the teaching dream, my friends teaching dream, I
9:46
Speaker 2: love that I was doing a little bit of relief
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Speaker 2: between having my two girls, and I.
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Speaker 3: Was walking distance to my school most days, because, as
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Speaker 3: I said, there's just such a demand for relief teachers
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Speaker 3: at the moment.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, especially because I feel like people are actually putting
10:00
Speaker 2: their health first as well, so instead of just going
10:03
Speaker 2: to work not that well, they are more likely to
10:06
Speaker 2: take the day off, which I think is really really important.
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Speaker 2: And I'm glad they are resources like you to kind
10:10
Speaker 2: of fill in what happens with childcare. So you've obviously
10:15
Speaker 2: got a one and a two year old. What happens
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Speaker 2: if you get a relief job and it's obviously last minute,
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Speaker 2: because that's usually how they work, What do you do
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Speaker 2: about childcare only? Because I know that can be quite
10:26
Speaker 2: an expensive ordeal.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely. I tell schools that my availability is and
10:32
Speaker 3: I give them the two days a week that I
10:36
Speaker 3: know that I can organize childcare, so Fridays. My eldest
10:39
Speaker 3: has just started pre kindy, so Friday's obviously, and my
10:43
Speaker 3: mom has just retired.
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Speaker 2: Oh money win.
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Speaker 3: I know. It's so great she has the girls when
10:49
Speaker 3: I go to work. But I've limited it to two
10:51
Speaker 3: days a week and Mum and I have a pre
10:53
Speaker 3: arranged day so that it's not a huge surprise for
10:56
Speaker 3: her either. Oh how good she doesn't have to change
10:59
Speaker 3: all the plan for her day. And oh she loves it.
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Speaker 3: So when I told her I was pregnant, like I
11:05
Speaker 3: was four weeks pregnant, she was like, I have to retire.
11:07
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm down, like I'm four weeks Like
11:11
Speaker 3: she is so excited to be a grandma, like she
11:14
Speaker 3: she offered. It was never like hey mom, I need
11:16
Speaker 3: you to take the girls.
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Speaker 2: She's just like, give me your children. I love them.
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Speaker 3: Yeah. So even when I, you know, have been on
11:21
Speaker 3: maternity leave again, she's like, you know, I'm still having
11:24
Speaker 3: the girls one day a week.
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Speaker 2: Everyone deserves a mom like that.
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Speaker 3: That is literal invest I'm very very very lucky.
11:33
Speaker 2: Talk to me about your money goals. So you said
11:36
Speaker 2: before that you now have savings investments and you're putting
11:38
Speaker 2: money away for your daughters to help them with their
11:41
Speaker 2: studies when they finish school. But I want to know
11:43
Speaker 2: what is your biggest money goal. What are you currently
11:46
Speaker 2: working towards.
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Speaker 3: Oh, my biggest money goal at the moment is probably
11:50
Speaker 3: just setting up for my girls when they're older. And
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Speaker 3: I know this is so far away and it's just
11:55
Speaker 3: going to go so quickly.
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Speaker 2: But the sooner you start, the less you have to
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Speaker 2: invest on a regular base exactly, and the more at compounds.
12:01
Speaker 2: Like it's just smart business, my friend.
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Speaker 3: Definitely, That's what I think as well. So when I
12:05
Speaker 3: finished high school, I think I was quite unimaginative when
12:10
Speaker 3: picking a Korea. We have a little university here, and
12:13
Speaker 3: I knew I could study teaching. I didn't have to move,
12:17
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have to you know, find accommodation in a
12:19
Speaker 3: bigger city to study somewhere else, and so I just
12:22
Speaker 3: sort of fell into teaching, and looking back, I think
12:26
Speaker 3: like I wish I'd had the courage to move somewhere
12:29
Speaker 3: and you know, try something like I'd love to, you know,
12:32
Speaker 3: maybe marine conservation or just something a bit more creative
12:36
Speaker 3: than teaching. And so I thought, okay, well, how do
12:40
Speaker 3: I stop that happening for my girls? And I think
12:42
Speaker 3: a big thing is financially, if they have the money
12:45
Speaker 3: to live out their dreams, hopefully there's going to be
12:49
Speaker 3: nothing else holding them back if they want to move
12:51
Speaker 3: to Europe and study over there, if they want to
12:54
Speaker 3: go anywhere else in Australia or anywhere in the world.
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Speaker 3: Just making sure that they can achieve that tream. They
13:00
Speaker 3: don't have to wait for years saving to start university
13:04
Speaker 3: and they can be a bit more creative I guess
13:07
Speaker 3: than myself. So that's really my drive behind that, and
13:10
Speaker 3: it's something you know, I'm so passionate about education.
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Speaker 2: I love that.
13:13
Speaker 3: So I've just started putting I think it's at the
13:15
Speaker 3: moment I'm doing like fifteen dollars a week for them.
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Speaker 3: At the moment it's just going into a savings account
13:21
Speaker 3: because I haven't quite decided how I want to invest that,
13:25
Speaker 3: and I think something maybe like bonds or a blue
13:28
Speaker 3: chip share that's a little bit.
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Speaker 2: More, a little bit more conservative.
13:32
Speaker 3: I'm hearing conservative, yeah, but like, I don't want to
13:36
Speaker 3: rush into that, so I'm just taking my time to
13:38
Speaker 3: explore what options are out there that could work really
13:41
Speaker 3: well for the girls.
13:43
Speaker 2: I am obsessed with that idea of setting your kids up,
13:46
Speaker 2: doing it young, organizing it when they're really little, so
13:49
Speaker 2: that it doesn't have to be significant, like I think
13:52
Speaker 2: a lot of people assume it has to be a
13:54
Speaker 2: lot of money. And the other day I made this
13:56
Speaker 2: example on TikTok actually, and it was like, if you
13:59
Speaker 2: put one hundred and fifty dollars a month away for
14:01
Speaker 2: X amount of years for your kids, this is what
14:03
Speaker 2: it would create. And so many people jumped down my
14:06
Speaker 2: neck and we're like, well, not all of us have
14:07
Speaker 2: one hundred and fifty dollars, And I was like, it's
14:09
Speaker 2: just an example, Like it's just an example that I've
14:12
Speaker 2: pulled out of nowhere to show you the power of
14:14
Speaker 2: compounding interest. And the same thing happens for fifteen dollars
14:18
Speaker 2: a week. It obviously doesn't happen on exactly the same scale,
14:22
Speaker 2: but it happens, and compound interest is going to be
14:24
Speaker 2: your best friend of the long term. But the one
14:26
Speaker 2: thing that I think people forget is that income scales.
14:30
Speaker 2: So right now, you've just gotten out of a relationship,
14:33
Speaker 2: you're a single mum finding your feet again. While you're thriving,
14:36
Speaker 2: I'm assuming that you are throwing everything you can at
14:38
Speaker 2: your financial life, but that doesn't mean that in a
14:41
Speaker 2: couple of years it won't be twenty dollars a week.
14:43
Speaker 2: It won't be twenty five dollars a week, And these
14:45
Speaker 2: things can change and grow, and the same can happen
14:48
Speaker 2: in the opposite direction. Maybe you can afford one hundred
14:50
Speaker 2: and fifty dollars a week at the moment, but maybe
14:53
Speaker 2: in a couple of years that's just uncomprehensible and that's
14:56
Speaker 2: not an option. So I think it's about making the
14:58
Speaker 2: most with what you have, and it's sounds like you
15:00
Speaker 2: are absolutely doing that, and it makes me so happy.
15:04
Speaker 2: All right, let's hold the horses right there, and we're
15:06
Speaker 2: going to go to a really quick break and I'll
15:09
Speaker 2: see you on the other side. All right, money dires,
15:16
Speaker 2: let's dive straight back in. So in your ladder you
15:19
Speaker 2: said I have investments, talk to me about them. What
15:22
Speaker 2: investments do you have? Yes?
15:24
Speaker 3: So I discovered Concept when it first came out.
15:28
Speaker 2: Do you mean Concept Pocket? Yes, yes, that's Concept. I
15:31
Speaker 2: was like when Concept came out, I was like, baby,
15:33
Speaker 2: you weren't born.
15:35
Speaker 3: Concept Pocket of aged really well.
15:38
Speaker 2: You are stunning for your age.
15:41
Speaker 3: Oh thank you. I just came across the sustainability shares
15:45
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh cool, that's something I'm really
15:48
Speaker 3: interested in, something I value and I absolutely think that
15:52
Speaker 3: that's our future. So I just put like two three
15:55
Speaker 3: hundred dollars in and I just sort of, you know,
15:58
Speaker 3: forgot about it. And then at the already started my
16:00
Speaker 3: maternal I can't know if I just had the baby
16:03
Speaker 3: or I was just starting leave. My husband and I
16:05
Speaker 3: went and saw a financial advisor, and I think at
16:09
Speaker 3: this point in my life, I felt quite limited and
16:13
Speaker 3: restricted by what I could do with my money, Like
16:16
Speaker 3: I was on half pay with maternityly my husband was
16:19
Speaker 3: still a student. But we thought, we'll go see a
16:21
Speaker 3: financial advisor and see, you know, just if we're on
16:24
Speaker 3: the right track. And he kind of said to us,
16:26
Speaker 3: you know, you're doing as much as you can. Come
16:29
Speaker 3: see me when you're both working full time. And I
16:31
Speaker 3: think I just sort of thought, okay, well a financial
16:33
Speaker 3: advisors pretty much confirmed what I felt already. I can't
16:36
Speaker 3: be doing anything more with my money? Not true, I know. Well, oh,
16:41
Speaker 3: literally like a month later, I was sitting in my
16:44
Speaker 3: car thinking like, oh, I just I wish I knew
16:47
Speaker 3: how to invest. I just feel like I could be
16:49
Speaker 3: doing so much more with my money. Because if you
16:51
Speaker 3: have that mindset that like, oh, I can't say if
16:53
Speaker 3: I can't do anything, I think I was more more
16:56
Speaker 3: willing to just throw money at different things like, oh,
16:59
Speaker 3: you know, he is a fifteen dollar you know take out.
17:02
Speaker 3: Here's ten dollars on some chocolate I probably don't need
17:06
Speaker 3: to eat. Here's a fifty dollars dress, you know, just
17:08
Speaker 3: spending money on things that don't really count. And yeah,
17:11
Speaker 3: I was just sitting in my car thinking, ah, I
17:13
Speaker 3: wish I like, I just wish I knew better how
17:16
Speaker 3: to handle my money. And literally on the radio, I
17:19
Speaker 3: heard an ad for She's on the Money. Oh huh,
17:22
Speaker 3: that's literally exactly what I'm looking for right now. And
17:26
Speaker 3: so I started listening to the podcast, and then I
17:31
Speaker 3: found your book and that whole you know you're always
17:34
Speaker 3: talking about, like, yes you can, you know, just having
17:36
Speaker 3: that mindset of you can always be saving, or there's
17:39
Speaker 3: that really great story of the two different couples you
17:41
Speaker 3: worked with and how one of them, you know, I
17:44
Speaker 3: felt like I really identified with them, like, oh, you know,
17:47
Speaker 3: I could have financial freedom and a really great retirement.
17:51
Speaker 3: So yeah, just finding Cheese on the Money really shifted
17:53
Speaker 3: my perspective towards my money. And so something we've done
17:58
Speaker 3: right from the start of our marriage have pocket money
18:01
Speaker 3: each week because when I realized my husband was spending
18:04
Speaker 3: far much more money than me, I said, right, we're
18:07
Speaker 3: each going to get pocket money each week, and we
18:09
Speaker 3: can spend our pocket money on anything without talking to
18:12
Speaker 3: the other person if we need to buy a bigger purchase,
18:14
Speaker 3: like that's the conversation that this pocket money you can
18:17
Speaker 3: do anything with. And as I said, like with my
18:19
Speaker 3: pocket money, it was just you know, take out here
18:22
Speaker 3: or some clothes there. But then when I found Cheese
18:24
Speaker 3: on the Money, I started investing my pocket money every week.
18:27
Speaker 2: Oh I love this so much.
18:29
Speaker 3: Forty dollars a week. But I thought, you know that's
18:32
Speaker 3: going to compound, and the sooner I start putting that
18:35
Speaker 3: money aside, the more it's going to be later. So
18:39
Speaker 3: that was June. I think I started putting my pocket
18:42
Speaker 3: money in and I've got about sixteen hundred dollars in
18:47
Speaker 3: shares at the moment.
18:48
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. That makes me so happy that you
18:51
Speaker 2: found us and that we get to hang out and
18:53
Speaker 2: that you get to be in a better financial position,
18:55
Speaker 2: but also that you know that just because one financial
18:58
Speaker 2: advisor said no just comes when you've got a double income,
19:02
Speaker 2: like no, that doesn't mean you can't achieve success. Like
19:05
Speaker 2: it's crazy to me to think that some people just
19:09
Speaker 2: take that as gospel and they don't go and ask
19:12
Speaker 2: more questions. They go, all right, well, I guess that
19:14
Speaker 2: we're screwed, like that's fine, and it's not fine, it's
19:18
Speaker 2: not okay.
19:19
Speaker 3: No, And I think like if I hadn't started putting
19:21
Speaker 3: that money into shares, like that's sixteen hundred dollars that
19:25
Speaker 3: I would have just spent, you know, mindlessly on things
19:28
Speaker 3: that you know, just a're just so fleeting. Like as
19:31
Speaker 3: I said, most of it was probably food and not
19:35
Speaker 3: even like like like luxury food, like not just my
19:38
Speaker 3: essential groceries, like yeah, out more than I should have,
19:41
Speaker 3: and just having that mind shift as well from going
19:45
Speaker 3: you know, oh, I'm so limited, I can't you know,
19:48
Speaker 3: do what I want? Who I can't be saving to now? Well, actually,
19:50
Speaker 3: you know what, look at what I've got, look at
19:53
Speaker 3: what I can do. It's just so empowering just just
19:57
Speaker 3: having that positive attitude, and yes, such a game changer.
20:01
Speaker 2: I feel like attitude is one of those things that
20:03
Speaker 2: you can control as well, and it's one of those
20:05
Speaker 2: things that regardless of your circumstances, you can choose to
20:08
Speaker 2: be more positive, if you can choose to do more research,
20:12
Speaker 2: you can choose to put yourself in a better position.
20:15
Speaker 2: And while I'm not saying that you know you can
20:17
Speaker 2: save or budget your way out of poverty, you can't,
20:20
Speaker 2: and that's not what we're saying here, but I do
20:22
Speaker 2: think that a positive mindset, that you know you are
20:25
Speaker 2: lucky and that you can do things and that you
20:27
Speaker 2: can create financial freedom is going to mean that that
20:30
Speaker 2: is going to come up more. I talk about a
20:32
Speaker 2: lot on the podcast recently what is it the Yellow
20:35
Speaker 2: Honda Jazz and how important it is to just be
20:38
Speaker 2: always looking for something and if you are on the
20:41
Speaker 2: lookout for something consistently, you'd be surprised about how often
20:45
Speaker 2: it turns up. And like, no one ever thinks about
20:48
Speaker 2: the yellow Honda Jazz as you know, a very common car.
20:51
Speaker 2: But the second I say, well, start looking for them,
20:53
Speaker 2: my friend, they do pop up. And the same thing
20:56
Speaker 2: happens if you're looking for investment opportunities or opportunities to
20:59
Speaker 2: increase wealth, or opportunities to just educate yourself more so
21:03
Speaker 2: that in the future you can save more. I think
21:05
Speaker 2: that that is really really important, and it sounds like
21:08
Speaker 2: that's exactly what you're doing, and I'm obsessed.
21:10
Speaker 3: Oh, it's so true, that Honda Jazz thing. So true.
21:14
Speaker 3: And since listening to that podcast, like I've just really
21:18
Speaker 3: tried to think, Okay, well, how can I like focus
21:20
Speaker 3: on joy and look for the joy in my life
21:23
Speaker 3: because obviously, you know I said at the start, I'm thriving,
21:25
Speaker 3: but there's still definitely those really challenging days where it
21:29
Speaker 3: kind of sinks in, oh my goodness, I'm a single mom.
21:32
Speaker 3: What am I doing. Everything's too much, you know, I'm sinking,
21:36
Speaker 3: I'm drowning. But then just giving myself that space to like, okay, well,
21:41
Speaker 3: you know what, it hasn't even been twelve months. You're
21:43
Speaker 3: focusing on the negatives, Like, let's shift the gear here,
21:47
Speaker 3: focus on the positive.
21:48
Speaker 2: Things and one hundred percent. And it honestly sounds like,
21:51
Speaker 2: and this is probably a little bit snarky to say,
21:54
Speaker 2: but we're going to say it anyway, doesn't sound like
21:56
Speaker 2: you had a husband. It sounds like you had another
21:58
Speaker 2: son that you were looking after funded a lifelop. So
22:01
Speaker 2: like you've gone from being a single mum of three
22:03
Speaker 2: to a single mum of two. And I think that
22:05
Speaker 2: might be easier, so much easier. That's very much easier.
22:09
Speaker 2: You've mentioned before that you had a mortgage. I want
22:11
Speaker 2: to know do you have any debts? If so, what
22:13
Speaker 2: are they?
22:14
Speaker 3: Ye episode my mortgage. I've got two hundred and sixty
22:17
Speaker 3: seven thousand left on that, and then I just have
22:19
Speaker 3: my hex. I've got nineteen thousand in my hex.
22:23
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, what a queen. And tell me about
22:25
Speaker 2: the property you own. So you've got two hundred and
22:27
Speaker 2: sixty seven thousand dollars owing on it? What did you
22:30
Speaker 2: purchase it for?
22:31
Speaker 3: We borrowed three hundred and fifteen thousand when we bought it,
22:35
Speaker 3: and so I actually bought it with my sister. We
22:38
Speaker 3: got a split loan and we just took care of
22:40
Speaker 3: our separate loans, and then at the start of the pandemic,
22:45
Speaker 3: my husband and I bought my sister out of her half,
22:49
Speaker 3: so she's not on the title anymore. And it's still
22:53
Speaker 3: just a little bit up in the air with what's
22:55
Speaker 3: happening with how I're splitting it with my husband and I.
22:58
Speaker 3: Now I fixed at two percent.
23:02
Speaker 2: You're a genius. You are straight out genius.
23:05
Speaker 3: Best decision I will. But it just makes a little
23:07
Speaker 3: bit tricky now because if we try and if I
23:09
Speaker 3: buy him out.
23:10
Speaker 2: Now refinance, you end up on a really high interest rate.
23:13
Speaker 3: And I lose that two percent. He has actually been
23:17
Speaker 3: really gracious with this, and he said, you know, look,
23:19
Speaker 3: let's not rush it, because you know, having to go
23:22
Speaker 3: from two percent interest of five at the moment is
23:25
Speaker 3: going to be you know, obviously quite financial. So he said,
23:28
Speaker 3: I'm happy to wait. So I think it's twenty twenty
23:32
Speaker 3: four that that fixed term comes to an end, So yeah,
23:35
Speaker 3: he said he's happy to wait until then, which is
23:38
Speaker 3: really good. But I've taken over the full mortgage now,
23:40
Speaker 3: so he was really only on the title for two years,
23:44
Speaker 3: hoping that.
23:45
Speaker 2: You know, all helps in my favor, and I'm sure
23:48
Speaker 2: it will all work out, especially if you're being amicable.
23:51
Speaker 2: But I have a sinking suspicion one of you contributed
23:55
Speaker 2: a whole lot more financially to that house than the other. Hey,
24:00
Speaker 2: that would be correct, That would be correct.
24:03
Speaker 3: I got all our group certificates from the time we
24:05
Speaker 3: were together, and I contributed seventy percent of our income
24:08
Speaker 3: over the relationship. So I said, you know, I think
24:12
Speaker 3: with our savings that we've got, like, I think I
24:14
Speaker 3: should get seventy percent. And he's like, oh no, it's
24:16
Speaker 3: going to be fifty to fifty. Why well, he hasn't
24:19
Speaker 3: even contributed fifty percent. Well, because he needs to set
24:23
Speaker 3: up his new life and find his future. And I said, well,
24:27
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be the one doing that, thank
24:29
Speaker 3: you very much.
24:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that is absolutely fair.
24:32
Speaker 3: Done that for seven years. It's your turn.
24:34
Speaker 2: You're like, I set up your entire life and mine
24:36
Speaker 2: and our girls' lives. I think that maybe you could
24:39
Speaker 2: be a little bit more independent, thank you, sir. Oh
24:43
Speaker 2: I feel like that's such a stressful position to be in,
24:45
Speaker 2: but it sounds like you're handling it relatively well and positively,
24:49
Speaker 2: which is good. Talk to me next about your best
24:53
Speaker 2: money habits. What do you think the best money habit
24:55
Speaker 2: you have is.
24:57
Speaker 3: I think I'm quite organized with my finance. I didn't
25:01
Speaker 3: really grow up knowing how to budget. I was, you know,
25:05
Speaker 3: living quite comfortably when I was single as a teacher.
25:09
Speaker 3: I could pay for everything I needed to was sable
25:11
Speaker 3: to say for a home, so I didn't really need
25:14
Speaker 3: to budget. And then when I got married and moved
25:18
Speaker 3: to Sydney, all of a sudden, money was very, very tight,
25:22
Speaker 3: and I just had to figure out very quickly how
25:24
Speaker 3: to make my money work. And I got all my
25:27
Speaker 3: bank statements and I went through and highlighted the different
25:30
Speaker 3: sections of like where my money was going to. So
25:32
Speaker 3: I had liked my direct debits, my mortgage, rent, food,
25:36
Speaker 3: non essentials, and it was all color coordinated. And then
25:39
Speaker 3: I worked out, okay, how much do I pay in
25:41
Speaker 3: all of these things over twelve months? And I think
25:44
Speaker 3: I just went back over the last two three years.
25:47
Speaker 3: And so I then set up different accounts for those
25:50
Speaker 3: color coordinated areas, and I worked out, okay, so if
25:53
Speaker 3: my you know, I had my regio rate, all my utilities.
25:57
Speaker 3: They were all in one section. I said, Okay, I
25:59
Speaker 3: pay in twelve months, So I need to be putting
26:02
Speaker 3: this much aside every week so that I'm covered for
26:05
Speaker 3: the whole year. And so that's something I've been doing
26:07
Speaker 3: for the last maybe no five years, and like now
26:14
Speaker 3: being a single mom, Like, my goodness, that is paid
26:17
Speaker 3: off because I've got my entire year of KINDI saved
26:21
Speaker 3: an entire year of swimming lessons are paid off.
26:23
Speaker 2: How good?
26:24
Speaker 3: I know, Like I need to put this much money
26:27
Speaker 3: aside for all of my bills and utilities, and then
26:31
Speaker 3: like I don't even have to think about it when
26:33
Speaker 3: the time comes around because I know I've put that
26:35
Speaker 3: money aside. So yeah, I think I'm quite organized, Like
26:39
Speaker 3: I know exactly where all my money's going. I've got
26:42
Speaker 3: all my little direct debit transfer setup so that I
26:45
Speaker 3: don't have to think about think about any of it
26:48
Speaker 3: week to week, and you know, it just kind of
26:50
Speaker 3: takes care of itself.
26:52
Speaker 2: I am obsessed with that, genuinely, Like I can't believe
26:55
Speaker 2: how organized you are, especially in the circumstances that you
26:58
Speaker 2: have gone through, Like that is why, And it makes
27:00
Speaker 2: me so happy to flip that though I want to
27:04
Speaker 2: know what is your worst money habit.
27:06
Speaker 4: Oh.
27:06
Speaker 3: I think I can be quite an emotional spender. When
27:09
Speaker 3: I'm thinking of buying something, it's not like, oh do
27:12
Speaker 3: I need this, It's like I am so sad right now.
27:15
Speaker 3: I need to buy something to make myself feel better.
27:17
Speaker 3: Like even if I'm happy, like, oh, I should go
27:19
Speaker 3: out and celebrate by buying a new dress, getting some gelato.
27:24
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that's me. Sad, I get a little treat. Happy, Oh,
27:27
Speaker 2: I need a little treat, Like, what is wrong with me?
27:30
Speaker 2: At what point do you not get a little treat? Victoria.
27:33
Speaker 3: I think it's from like our years in the primary
27:36
Speaker 3: school system, where it's like, oh, well done, here's a sticker,
27:39
Speaker 3: a good job, here's a sticker. You know, we've just
27:41
Speaker 3: been so conditioned our entire lives.
27:43
Speaker 2: I went to primary school. Yeah, I loved stickers. I
27:46
Speaker 2: used to get those scratch and sniff ones. Those were elite.
27:49
Speaker 3: Oh yes, you know, you're a good kid. You forgot
27:51
Speaker 3: a scratch and sim one hundred percent.
27:53
Speaker 4: But I think now that I'm aware of it, I'm
27:57
Speaker 4: maybe not quite as bad because I can sort of
28:00
Speaker 4: stop and think, oh, wait a second, I'm only buying
28:03
Speaker 4: this because of.
28:03
Speaker 3: How I'm feeling right now.
28:05
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
28:05
Speaker 3: And sometimes that works, and sometimes it's like, well, I
28:08
Speaker 3: deserve it because I've had a really good day.
28:12
Speaker 2: And that's why we need to have some flexibility in
28:14
Speaker 2: our budget to make sure we allow for that. Because
28:16
Speaker 2: I'm the same, like, I'm not frugal all the time.
28:19
Speaker 2: Sometimes I do deserve a little treat, and that's okay,
28:22
Speaker 2: But it comes from the little treat budget, doesn't.
28:24
Speaker 3: It exactly exactly? So you don't have to feel guilty
28:29
Speaker 3: or worryboying it because you know everything else is taken
28:31
Speaker 3: care of too. True, And I think it's later. I
28:34
Speaker 3: often get home and I'm like, oh, what was I thinking?
28:37
Speaker 3: Like I don't even really like it that much. It's
28:40
Speaker 3: just that thrill of buying something.
28:43
Speaker 2: Well, you can always return it if it's not adding value,
28:46
Speaker 2: my friend, exactly, I'm really bad at returning things. Money, Diarist,
28:52
Speaker 2: you have told us a lot about your circumstance. You
28:55
Speaker 2: became a single mum six months ago. You now have
28:58
Speaker 2: investments and saving and you've put money away for your daughters.
29:01
Speaker 2: You literally have a savings plan for them. But then
29:04
Speaker 2: you've organized your money so much that you've pre paid
29:07
Speaker 2: or you have the funds to prepay KINDI and swimming.
29:10
Speaker 2: You literally own a property which is epic. And previously
29:13
Speaker 2: you said, oh, I'm a B plus. Do you still
29:16
Speaker 2: think that's accurate?
29:17
Speaker 3: Look, maybe I could bump myself up a bit, maybe
29:21
Speaker 3: an A minus. But I think if I have, you know,
29:25
Speaker 3: this idea in my head that ah, I'm you know,
29:27
Speaker 3: an A plus, I've nailed it, it doesn't really encourage
29:31
Speaker 3: me to keep growing and challenge myself to, oh, how
29:33
Speaker 3: could I be doing better? Or yeah, maybe sick with
29:36
Speaker 3: an A minus.
29:37
Speaker 2: Totally understand where you're coming from. I really enjoy that, actually,
29:41
Speaker 2: because I think that even if you've got the structure there,
29:44
Speaker 2: I think sometimes by saying, oh, well, I'm still not
29:47
Speaker 2: an A plus, because I believe everybody has room to
29:49
Speaker 2: grow still, that's actually a really positive mindset to be in.
29:52
Speaker 2: And I think that, you know, as much as we
29:54
Speaker 2: all want to be an A plus, with money, it
29:56
Speaker 2: goes in ebbs and flows. Sometimes we smash it out
29:59
Speaker 2: in one week and the next week we give ourselves
30:01
Speaker 2: a little too many little treats. But that is okay,
30:04
Speaker 2: and that is life. And I think that, yeah, this
30:07
Speaker 2: has been really powerful. I am so excited to know
30:10
Speaker 2: about how well you are doing and that you are flourishing.
30:13
Speaker 2: It makes my heart so happy. So thank you so
30:16
Speaker 2: much for joining us today for Money Diary. I know
30:19
Speaker 2: that so many people are going to be so grateful
30:22
Speaker 2: having heard your story because it's inspiring, it's exciting. It
30:26
Speaker 2: is one of those things that I think a lot
30:28
Speaker 2: of people in the situation you were in six months ago,
30:31
Speaker 2: go oh, I don't know if I can do it,
30:32
Speaker 2: and you are leaving proof that you absolutely can.
30:35
Speaker 3: Oh well, thank you so much. And as I said,
30:37
Speaker 3: She's on the Money has been such a huge part
30:39
Speaker 3: of that journey and just giving me the confidence financially
30:43
Speaker 3: because it was never something I've been educated in before,
30:46
Speaker 3: and now I think I know just enough to get
30:47
Speaker 3: myself in trouble or get myself out of trouble rather.
30:51
Speaker 3: So thank you for for your movement.
30:54
Speaker 2: No, thank you all right, Well, thank you so much,
30:57
Speaker 2: But unfortunately I do think that's all we have time
30:59
Speaker 2: for today. We'll see you guys on Wednesday. The advice
31:09
Speaker 2: shared on She's on the Money is general in nature
31:12
Speaker 2: and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the
31:15
Speaker 2: Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be
31:19
Speaker 2: relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If
31:22
Speaker 2: you do choose to buy a financial product, read the
31:25
Speaker 2: PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.
31:30
Speaker 2: Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives
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