Latest / Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild / Old Patterns to Self-Trust and Healing, without People Pleasing

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Old Patterns to Self-Trust and Healing, without People Pleasing · Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild

0:02
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back.
0:03
SPEAKER_00: This is Tina.
0:04
SPEAKER_00: This is episode nine, but it's the actual bonus.
0:06
SPEAKER_00: This is gonna be the uncut raw version.
0:09
SPEAKER_00: I started this two weeks ago, and it was like the best thing I ever did.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: It's more of the I am just Tina.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: The person.
0:30
SPEAKER_00: Polished version.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: But my last episode was more freestyle.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: I feel like I'm getting into myself, like I'm becoming my person, like I'm confident more.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: I trust what I say, I know how I feel.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm getting comfortable with just who I am.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: And that is huge.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: And just what I want to talk about is off the cuff, more about, you know, just breaking the old patterns and kind of explaining to you like this week.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: This week I have been through all of the emotions, the ups, the downs, the anger, the fear, the instability, the self-doubt.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: I've been confident.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: I've been all of the things.
1:24
SPEAKER_00: And I was angry.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: And I haven't allowed myself to be angry for a very long time.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I'm gonna start.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: I'll share that moment just briefly.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: I was so mad.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: I was just so frustrated.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: I was just like, I just had a moment where I was just so mad.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: I didn't even know exactly why, but then I'm like, okay, I know why.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: So I asked myself, why right now?
1:51
SPEAKER_00: Why?
1:52
SPEAKER_00: I've been trying so hard, I've been working so hard, I've been working on a lot of different things.
1:59
SPEAKER_00: Self-development, my podcast, my website, selling on my Poshmark still, keeping other people happy, and I can't do that anymore.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: And so I was angry, and then I had to go to my storage and I saw the Halloween pumpkin, and I'm not mentioning him, but we're uncut right now, and I have to share this.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: So there was a Halloween pumpkin that we had shared, and it just lit up.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: It's just some cheap thing from you know, store, and that sucker still lit up when I turned the light on.
2:41
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I don't know why, but I was so angry, and I was in my storage and I was looking for something and I couldn't find it, and I saw the pumpkin, and I actually walked up and down the hallway a little bit.
2:53
SPEAKER_00: I paced, I did some breath work.
2:55
SPEAKER_00: Like I have these tools that I use.
2:59
SPEAKER_00: But I'm not saying it didn't feel good to step on that little three-inch pumpkin head and stomp on it and kick it around a little bit.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: I needed to do that.
3:12
SPEAKER_00: I'm starting to accept any feelings that I'm having.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: I'm angry, I'm angry.
3:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna honor that.
3:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna figure out like, what is it?
3:20
SPEAKER_00: If I'm stressed, I need to take a step breath back and breathe.
3:24
SPEAKER_00: I do a lot of breathing now.
3:26
SPEAKER_00: I listen to this one meditation.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: It's so interesting because it's about doing nothing.
3:32
SPEAKER_00: It's called like effortless, and you just do nothing for 12 minutes.
3:37
SPEAKER_00: You have to lay there and do nothing.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: The effortless, the nothingless.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: And then like things will race through my head, and it's like, okay, if something comes through your mind, just let it go.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: Don't connect to it.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: And that's that's interesting because that actually coincides with what I wanted to share today.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: A little bit about gaslighting.
4:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so people around me gaslight, and some of it is a family dynamic.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: So when I am now gaslit, I first I want to like respond.
4:15
SPEAKER_00: The old pattern is to be like, no, I didn't.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I did, no, I didn't.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, that's exactly what the gaslighter wants.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: So I'm not giving it.
4:28
SPEAKER_00: I just, yep, okay.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: I don't what do you say?
4:33
SPEAKER_00: Like, you don't have to be, if you're invited to an argument, that doesn't mean you have to respond.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, if I've been gaslit, even though I'm gaslit underneath, that doesn't mean I have to respond.
4:44
SPEAKER_00: I don't have to gaslight.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: I have the, you know, I have to leave the room, or I have to like deflect.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: Or when I was getting so gaslit, I might take a shower.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm just not gonna be invited to gaslighting situations anymore.
4:59
SPEAKER_00: That's an old pattern, and I'm not going to do that anymore.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: And that's part of becoming who I am.
5:06
SPEAKER_00: I've been so used to being the scapegoat, the black sheep.
5:11
SPEAKER_00: That's hard to say, but that's the truth.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: And those of you that are in that position, I know you know how it feels.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: It does not feel good.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: It feels like no matter what you do, it's not good enough.
5:24
SPEAKER_00: It's that trying to get people pleasing and approval from people that you sometimes are not going to get it.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: So you have to give it to yourself.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: I will just talk to myself and be like, okay, you're doing good.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: And then I will list all the things that I've done.
5:40
SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, I'm doing this.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I started the podcast.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I started my website.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: I've learned how to do podcasting.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: I've gotten the books, I've done the personal development, I listened to all the personal development things that I can.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: But you know, the biggest thing is it's now time for action.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not going to be stuck to my old patterns.
6:02
SPEAKER_00: And that's what's so cool because these new patterns are exciting.
6:05
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm excited.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: I am really excited to just be content.
6:12
SPEAKER_00: I have an open slate.
6:14
SPEAKER_00: I can do whatever I want.
6:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I, you know, I understand like money.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: I need money, so that is definitely a concern.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: But it's not the most important thing because I did hear something on the radio, like, okay, I don't know if it was a radio, but it probably wasn't.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: It's probably some YouTube video.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: And it said, okay, if you are you better than you were a year ago.
6:40
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, it depends on what are you asking about.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: Am I more content?
6:47
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: Am I better financially?
6:52
SPEAKER_00: Yes and no.
6:55
SPEAKER_00: I took care of some debt.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: I now need employment.
7:02
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to go back to the old job.
7:05
SPEAKER_00: I tried.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: Actually, tried lately because I'm like, okay, I need money.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: What if I could use my old job to get the money I need to do the new life of self-improvement?
7:17
SPEAKER_00: And I went to hit apply and I couldn't push the button.
7:21
SPEAKER_00: I felt physically ill, physically sick.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: And I know some people won't agree.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: And I know some people have the right to not agree.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: And that's none of my business.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: I know what I need.
7:40
SPEAKER_00: I know what I can't do.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I could do it, but I just can't.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if anybody's ever had that feeling.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: Like, I will work anywhere, and I've applied to many places.
7:52
SPEAKER_00: I'm a little bit older, so I don't know if I'm experiencing that and not getting hired, or if it's just the time because I know unemployment's kind of high.
8:04
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if it's just the holidays.
8:07
SPEAKER_00: So I've had some self-doubt.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: I keep putting applications in.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: I have like 140 applications in.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: And part of it, I believe, is because I'm doing a career change.
8:19
SPEAKER_00: So I even looked at careers that were close to my job.
8:22
SPEAKER_00: And this week I'm going to explore that more, but I just can't go to the old pattern.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: And that goes with everything.
8:30
SPEAKER_00: Like, now I still do kind of numb myself with food lately.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: I am, but I am aware of it, so I know I'm going to take care of it.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's that's not healthy because I have health issues too, so I shouldn't be doing it.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: But I crave sugar.
8:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so there's that that I have to get rid of.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: And then was kind of low on money, and I'm I haven't gambled probably, oh, I don't even know how long.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: For a very long time.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: And I used to go all the time.
9:00
SPEAKER_00: But when I quit my casino job, I promised myself I wasn't gonna gamble anymore.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: And that's another reason I don't want to work at the casino.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: It's triggering for me.
9:13
SPEAKER_00: So I'm trusting my own self, and that's what I'm doing.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: I'm trusting my intuition, just like trusting myself not to quit with the podcast.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: I look and I don't even think I have followers.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: And I'm grateful to anybody that is listening.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's great.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: But I'm like, am I wasting my breath?
9:31
SPEAKER_00: Am I wasting my time?
9:32
SPEAKER_00: Should I do something else?
9:34
SPEAKER_00: So there's self-doubt when I don't see the rewards.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: But then I had something that was more precious of a reward, more precious than money.
9:45
SPEAKER_00: I started healing.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: I didn't even know it.
9:48
SPEAKER_00: I just I feel like episode eight, I I said a lot of stuff and I was very open and honest.
9:53
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like maybe that was like the last hurrah that I needed to get over, and it really helped.
9:58
SPEAKER_00: And I just started healing, and then all of a sudden I'm like, I feel better.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: And then I went on some dating sites.
10:06
SPEAKER_00: I've been single since I've been broken up.
10:10
SPEAKER_00: And I I've gone on and off of dating sites probably, you know, throughout the breakup and just searching at night dooms going, oh, what about him?
10:18
SPEAKER_00: What about him?
10:19
SPEAKER_00: And then, like a lot of the guys on there will just be like, hey, wave at you.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: There's no substance.
10:27
SPEAKER_00: And I have this thing, like, how do you really know a person?
10:30
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I know when you meet somebody in person, you still don't know them because there's always the best version up front, even with me.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: I'm guilty.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: We all do that.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I can't do this.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: So I start talking, I'm like, I gotta go out, but then okay, so then I'm like at home and I'm working on maybe I'm listening to a Jim Ron video or Napoleon Hill or Joe Rogan or just numerous people, Elena Cardone, mostly Mel Robbins.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: So I'm listening to the people that I look up to and they've helped me.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: And I want to be like that, not in a jealousy way, but I I like that.
11:13
SPEAKER_00: I like that, and part of it probably is ego, but most of it is like, I think that's like the most dream job I have to be a motivational speaker, to have that, to be able to use your story and help people and make a difference in people's lives.
11:29
SPEAKER_00: Surveillance, I'm not making a difference.
11:32
SPEAKER_00: Most of the time, yeah, it's stuff that they do.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: Like the first time I had to tell on an employee when I first started surveillance, like 20 years ago, his wife was like going through cancer, and he was stealing the money out of like the coin machines.
11:49
SPEAKER_00: He used to like have coins in a bucket and put those through the machine, and some foreign coins would come out, and he would steal those and take them and cash them in.
11:59
SPEAKER_00: And I caught him, and I had to write up the report, and ultimately he got fired.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: And then one of my supervisors said, That's your job.
12:11
SPEAKER_00: That's not your fault, that's a choice he made.
12:15
SPEAKER_00: True, but that didn't make it feel any better.
12:21
SPEAKER_00: It felt terrible.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: I've seen a lot of different things.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: People will be like, Oh, isn't that an exciting job?
12:28
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it can be.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm good at the job.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm really good at investigating and finding out who stole the items.
12:38
SPEAKER_00: But that just isn't it?
12:40
SPEAKER_00: Like I went to school to be a cop and I realized, no, I don't want to be an authoritative figure.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: I want to be a figure that helps.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: And so that's just not it for me.
12:53
SPEAKER_00: So I've been applying for a lot of jobs that help.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: I've applied for jobs that will just get me started.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna polish my resume and try again.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna start doing some foot traffic.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, one thing I am not doing is I am not going back to the career.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: That just is in the old pattern and no longer fits me.
13:15
SPEAKER_00: And the old pattern of me that would go to the casino.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: That person, no, no more.
13:20
SPEAKER_00: I rather invest.
13:21
SPEAKER_00: Like I did, I invested, I got my website, I paid for the podcasting to do special things and help me out more.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm putting the investment in myself.
13:35
SPEAKER_00: Am I seeing like the fruits of my labor?
13:38
SPEAKER_00: No, not really like money-wise, emotional wise-wise, yes, absolutely.
13:46
SPEAKER_00: And I to me that's very important.
13:48
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I need money to survive.
13:51
SPEAKER_00: And that's coming because part of my survival is I need to get on my own.
13:57
SPEAKER_00: I have I'm 52.
13:59
SPEAKER_00: I have never lived alone in my whole entire life.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: Like never.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: And I need that for the freedom.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: And that's part of like a codependency thing.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: Like, I like to live with other people, but I think it's more fear than anything.
14:19
SPEAKER_00: I think I'm afraid.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: I've also looked for approval, and it doesn't matter.
14:25
SPEAKER_00: Like some people can't give you the approval you need.
14:29
SPEAKER_00: You need to give the approval to yourself.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: And I'm finding out that anything that I want from somebody, that's not their job.
14:37
SPEAKER_00: It's my job.
14:38
SPEAKER_00: It's my job to approve of myself.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: It's my job to not stay in the numbing phase.
14:45
SPEAKER_00: It's my job to find out what makes me tick.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: It's me.
14:51
SPEAKER_00: It all comes down to you.
14:52
SPEAKER_00: And I'm taking full responsibility, full accountability.
14:55
SPEAKER_00: I don't mean to sound so serious because I just, it's just like all these epiphanies that I'm having, and I've always like numb that stuff.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: Like I've even gone out a lot.
15:07
SPEAKER_00: And like there are people that I have liked when I go out.
15:11
unknown: Ha!
15:12
SPEAKER_00: And boy, are there stories, but I don't want to do stories like that.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: That's the old pattern.
15:17
SPEAKER_00: And then coming into the new person that I am or the person that I am underneath, not even the new person, like that's me.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: That's who I am.
15:25
SPEAKER_00: I never really knew her, and I'm starting to know her.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: And as the new patterns come up, old patterns still are there.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: Hey, you want to go out see so and so?
15:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then I think, how did you feel every time you go out?
15:43
SPEAKER_00: I don't feel good.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: It it does not help self-esteem.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: It does not, it's just not healthy for me.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, well, when I go out so and so, that place, nope, I don't have fun.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: It's not something that brings me joy.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: Right now, people might judge me and be like, oh my god, you're always at the library.
16:08
SPEAKER_00: Or you're reading books, or what are you doing?
16:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm doing me.
16:16
SPEAKER_00: There is some song too that that was one of the that's a good song for me that I'm doing me by Fantasia.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: I love that song.
16:24
SPEAKER_00: So that's another thing.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: That's some tools I've made.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: I've started some podcast, not podcasts, but some playlists.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: And some of my playlists, like I'll have sad songs.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: I'll have good songs.
16:35
SPEAKER_00: I'll have some sad songs that actually heal me and make me feel good and not cry.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: I have a playlist that's a mix.
16:43
SPEAKER_00: My music taste, I love everything from like country all the way to blues and heavy rock.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, that's very interesting.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: And just going back to myself is great.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: Like finding what I love.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: I love this is gonna sound weird.
17:05
SPEAKER_00: I like to go shopping for certain things, and I've never really allowed myself to do that as much, and now I I've done that because yes, your clothing, I don't know.
17:15
SPEAKER_00: I just want to feel good.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: I don't really care what people think.
17:18
SPEAKER_00: I do like some different styles, and that's okay.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: So my new patterns are doing that.
17:27
SPEAKER_00: I do spend a lot of time reading and writing, reading books.
17:35
SPEAKER_00: I love reading books, but I do know that there's a bad and a good side to that because sometimes it can be just too many books, and I need to breathe and I need to take action.
17:44
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes taking no action is actually action.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: I've kind of been brought up where you are, if you're not moving, you're lazy, you're not doing anything.
17:53
SPEAKER_00: If you don't move fast, fast, fast, keep going.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: Like you have to look like you're busy, busy, busy.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: But sometimes looking busy, what is that?
18:02
SPEAKER_00: That doesn't help.
18:04
SPEAKER_00: I need to actually do the things.
18:06
SPEAKER_00: I do a lot of stuff at night.
18:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, it's so quiet.
18:11
SPEAKER_00: And I really can get into it and just feel myself.
18:15
SPEAKER_00: And now I'm writing things that I want to do.
18:17
SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to go to the park, I want to go to the zoos, I want to go by water, I want to go swimming again.
18:25
SPEAKER_00: And the one funny thing was in that one exercise where you think about what you want for breakfast.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: And I know that's kind of strange, but I wanted pancakes, and so I made the pancakes, and boy, was that funny.
18:37
SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about when we're trying to do stuff and nothing wanted to work.
18:41
SPEAKER_00: So I start, I put the pan, I can't find the measuring cup, so I just dump some water in it, and it's chunky and lumpy.
18:50
SPEAKER_00: And then I try to heat up the pancake pan, and the burner doesn't want to heat it up, so I'm like pounding on the burner.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so it sparks up and it starts heating up the pancake.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: I eat the first pancake, I go to make my second one, and the burner stops making working while I'm making the pancake.
19:09
SPEAKER_00: So I ended up like putting another burner and then I put on my plate.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: I got all ready to eat it, and it did not taste good.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: But it's just like the simple things.
19:19
SPEAKER_00: It's so silly.
19:20
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm just gonna be myself again and be alive and be like, ah, yay.
19:26
SPEAKER_00: So I hope this brings some excitement to you.
19:29
SPEAKER_00: I hope you see that there is another side of the old pattern.
19:32
SPEAKER_00: There's good patterns, there's there is self-doubt, but there's also like self-esteem.
19:37
SPEAKER_00: It's coming back, taking care of myself.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: And another thing, my well, daughter-in-law is what I call her, not yet, but soon, soon, someday, uh, she helps me.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: She helped me organize.
19:52
SPEAKER_00: And wow, it was so weird because for nights I couldn't sleep, and she came back and I had my bed's full of books.
19:59
SPEAKER_00: I I admit, that's my instead of a man, I sleep with books and notebooks and my laptop.
20:06
SPEAKER_00: And it was in my bed, and she's like, Oh, how have you been sleeping?
20:09
SPEAKER_00: And I had told her that I wasn't sleeping very well.
20:12
SPEAKER_00: But when we first cleaned my room, my area, like two weeks ago, I slept like a baby for like five nights in a row.
20:19
SPEAKER_00: It was so nice.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: She's like, You're not sleeping because you have this stuff in your bed.
20:24
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, What?
20:26
SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, okay.
20:27
SPEAKER_00: So now I have a time and I'm like, okay, once it feels good, I'm tired.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: I will stop doing it, but I do put it away now.
20:33
SPEAKER_00: I'm cleaning up my area and it does feel better when it's clean.
20:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm organizing stuff, I'm getting rid of stuff.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: So there's there's a bunch of stuff like I need to do.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm still deciding what I'm gonna do with my selling business.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: I've been doing it for seven years on Poshmark, and it's like, yeah, okay, it's hit or miss.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: I'm not doing very good, I'm not making money.
20:56
SPEAKER_00: I have a huge storage, and I'm looking at all the stuff, and I'm like, why do I have all this stuff?
21:03
SPEAKER_00: I have, I don't know, 500 books because I thought some of them were gonna make money, but I do have some that I like for my own personal self.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: But the ones that I don't need and aren't valuable, and what if I scan all these books and none of them are valuable, valuable.
21:23
SPEAKER_00: And I have been looking into the editing, so I'm getting excited that's coming up, and but yeah, back to the books.
21:30
SPEAKER_00: What if something's valuable?
21:32
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm afraid to get rid of it.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: So I do have an app that scans books and will tell you, and so far they're like, oh, 28 cents.
21:39
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, really?
21:40
SPEAKER_00: Because this book's like$40 other places.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: So I will scan through the books.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: That is the job.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: I don't know about this week because I'm actually getting a small procedure done on my wedding finger.
21:54
SPEAKER_00: My wedding finger has shrunk and it's not trigger finger, but something else.
21:58
SPEAKER_00: And I have to get some procedure where they're gonna, oh yeah, tomorrow, poke some kind of something in my finger so that they can release it.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: And it's got a very weird name and it starts with a D.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: I'll put it in the link, but yeah, they're gonna do the procedure.
22:15
SPEAKER_00: I've had it for two years, and my finger looks so weird.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: And so Monday and Wednesday, I'm gonna have the procedure done, and so I'm not gonna be able to do all that stuff.
22:26
SPEAKER_00: But that's okay.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: I really have wanted this thing, and that's another thing.
22:30
SPEAKER_00: I've been kind of waiting for my finger to get fixed first before I go back to work, and so it might even be the holidays, but we'll see what I can figure out to do.
22:39
SPEAKER_00: Oh, pardon me.
22:40
SPEAKER_00: One moment, please.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I feel like I have definitely been rambling, and I know you guys probably are ready to get started.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: And next episode, like I did say, is going to be something that you're gonna want to listen to.
22:59
SPEAKER_00: It's a tool that I use to help myself.
23:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm calling it Mirrorback, trademark marking it, which is so interesting.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna write a book about it.
23:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm already started, and this is something I've shared before, but I just love this.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: And I hope it's a tool that other people can use, and I hope it just helps people because it has been a tremendous tool in my life.
23:26
SPEAKER_00: And as once again, I am Tina Avis.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: This is from Get It Got It Girl.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: I am just a normal person, I am not a therapist.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: I'm sharing my lived experiences and my opinion.
23:41
SPEAKER_00: Uh credentials.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: I have a life coach degree that I just got.
23:45
SPEAKER_00: I know people make fun of it, but it actually was a six-month course and it was very in-depth.
23:51
SPEAKER_00: And then I have my life experience, and that's what I share with you.
23:59
SPEAKER_00: My life experience.
24:00
SPEAKER_00: Share some tools, I know, and we'll go through this together.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: If you're starting over, if you're scared, that's okay.
24:06
SPEAKER_00: You're it, you know, these feelings, whatever you're feeling is normal.
24:10
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, if you're feeling like you're gonna hurt yourself, please contact somebody.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: Suicide line, a trusted friend, a family member.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: Okay, and on that note, I want you to be safe.
24:22
SPEAKER_00: Everybody out there, be safe.
24:23
SPEAKER_00: Get it, got it, girl.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: And I do, I know you guys laughed at me, but I do want to clap for you because I am very proud of you, and we are embarking on something new next week.
24:36
SPEAKER_00: And I want to just clap for you.
24:39
SPEAKER_00: Yes, all my bold Pathfinders, thank you so much.
24:43
SPEAKER_00: This has been the raw version.
24:46
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.