Latest / Top Five / why i quit booze ft. a special guest

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why i quit booze ft. a special guest · Top Five

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: There we go. Okay, all right, here we go. I
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: don't want an AI companion, No, thank you, we'll screen you. Okay, gallery,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: there you are. Okay, all right, everyone, welcome to episode
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: thirty six of the Top five podcast. Today we have
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: a special guest and I will get into that in
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: the second bought apologies. Jason and I were going to
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: record one last week. We obviously did not post one.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: My boy was he is in Turks and Caicos and
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: was getting ready so every day we're going to record.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: He ended up having other things to do and he
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: that man. No one needs a vacation more than that man.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: So I said, you know what, fine, and I didn't
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: have anything prepared. So I'm back this week. I have
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: a special guest. So I'm Kaitlin and I am sitting
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: two states away from my friend CALLI.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Hi.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Hello everybody. I'm just happy to be here. Thank you
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: so much. Thank for having me on, of course.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: And thank you for being willing to come last minute
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: and being willing to deal with my crazy lackluster scheduling
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: because life.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Is lifing this week.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: Good all good.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: So if someone for is new here, I don't know
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: how you'd come to this episode first, but we pick
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: five things we love each week, one thing that made
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: us crash out or that we hate or made us cry,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: and we talked shit in between.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: So Callie, do you want to say how we met
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: each other? Or do you want me to it?
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: No, I'll say so I have met Calen in real life,
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: So I think I think I'm part of the original thirteen.
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: Like everybody says that, but you go going back. I've
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: been listening to the show show for a very long time.
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: And then we were at the Phoenix airport and.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: I think you had like reddish, like purple hair.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: At the time, we were like very recognizable, but like
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: you're in Phoenix and I'm from Minnesota now, so like,
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: what are the chances that we meet at the Phoenix airport?
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: We did crazy?
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: I don't think I told you this.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: I actually recognized your mom more so than you at
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: the first I love it just gotten done.
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  Speaker 3: I don't know you guys were there for like a
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: wedding or something.
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: And I had just gotten done ye watching your videos
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: and you were calling her like Mountain Pam.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Or something probably yeah, and I was like, I think
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: that's Mountain Pam.
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  Speaker 3: And then I think that's Kaylan.
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  Speaker 4: So that's how we met, and then we just became
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: social media friends and now here we.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: Are, yeah here, yeah.
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  Speaker 1: And I don't like, I mean, I'm always downing to
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: make a new friend, but it's not like often that
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: you just like meet someone randomly and then like it's
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: a natural like organic friendship formed online.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: But that's like truly what happened. I just really liked you,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: and I think things just came naturally. I have this
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: amazing oh.
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  Speaker 1: There it is right behind me from when my Willie
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  Speaker 1: passed away, and like that just meant so much. And
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: so I was like, okay, like my gut was right,
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: like we have not that you need to like send
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: me things, but I just like I like we had
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: a connection, like you understood, and you've been there for
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: me and hopefully you know, vice versa.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: And so it was a very random meeting, but I know,
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: I know, and.
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: When you're Willy passed away, like I just felt it
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: like in my core, you know, and I felt so bad.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: For you, and I just like I was say, because
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: this is weird, like I want to send you.
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: Like this little you know, frame that you can just
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: kind of remember her by.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: It's like I mean, don't tell anyone else, but it's
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: like probably my favorite thing. Like I just I don't know,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: I love that photo. I love that you like went
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: through the video and got a screenshot. I knew exactly
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: where it was from when I saw it, So it's
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: like it's really something I will treasure forever. And also, like,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: as I have been following you, I think I met
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: you when you were still drinking, and I remember you
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: said you said something to me like, uh, that your
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: husband didn't drink, and I.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Was like, how does that work?
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: And you were like no, you were like yeah, I
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: don't know, like he accepts it or whatever. And then
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: since then, you know, I've followed you and you've been
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: on like a health journey and you've been on a
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: journey of sobriety as well. And I I have so
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: many people My stepdad is sober. I understand a lot
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: of that. I'm such an advocate for anyone in recovery
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: or anyone who doesn't want like any all of it
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: like I and I just feel like it's it's an
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: interesting perspective and so I just want to have people
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: on that that interests me.
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  Speaker 2: And I'm I'm so glad that you're willing to talk
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: about it.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm thrilled.
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: And I actually remember telling you that comment one time
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: because so I'll back up next week, I will be
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: alcohol free for five hundred days, Oh my god. And
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: that is just another milestone too. But yeah, I remember,
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: you know, like wine has always been my jam, Like
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: I just that was it. You know, it's like, oh, sorry,
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: you know, I just I'm dog sitting guys. Sorry, yeah,
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: you're always like dog sitting animals and some stuff.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: I know, But yeah, I couldn't imagine like life without wine.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: And uh I remember, you know, so.
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  Speaker 4: My husband does drink very much, and I was out
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: in Arizona, you know, visiting his family and you know,
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: they don't drink very much. And it's not like a
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: judgment on anybody who doesn't drink, but I remember making
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: that comment, like going like how do you get through
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: like a dinner without a drink or something like that.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: And then it was, you know a little over a
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: year ago when I made the decision.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: To give up alcohol.
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  Speaker 2: And it really.
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  Speaker 4: Has been a journey, but like one that I am
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  Speaker 4: so happy that I am here on this side of
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: and I know it's a different story for so many people, yea,
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  Speaker 4: but yeah, for me, it was it was a moment
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  Speaker 4: of just really my health and a moment of listening
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: to my body and my body's gonna tell me what's
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: good and what I should put in it, what I
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: shouldn't put in it, and it was just time. It
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: told me, don't put this in your body anymore. And
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: so I gave it up. And I was telling my
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: best friend too, like she was asking me. She was like,
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: are you do you ever think you're gonna drink again?
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: And I'd like, literally was so declarative.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I don't think and so it came
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: right to you, so you yeah, yeah, yeah, And that's why.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Your journey is so interesting to me.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: And I thought it would be cool for people to
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: hear because I feel like there are so many people now.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: I'm actually going over to two of my friends tonight
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: who are no longer drinking and didn't quote unquote have
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: like the rock bottom or the.
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  Speaker 2: Issue with it.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: They're just not drinking anymore. And I mean, I of
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: course have to give them a little crap because I
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: take nothing seriously, but I support them wholeheartedly. Like tonight,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: I'll bring over them some na wine or you know
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: whatever if they want a weed drink and you know,
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I'll bring my wine. And I just think that there's
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: a ton of people doing that now and I I
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: it doesn't look exactly like you may have pictured back
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: in the day when someone's like, oh, I don't drink.
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  Speaker 2: Like then yeah goes you know, oh X, Y or Z.
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  Speaker 1: You could be like you know where my stepdad was
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: to where you know, there was like rehabs in the
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: whole thing, and then you can be like, I don't
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: and you're very like intuitive and listen to your body,
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  Speaker 1: which is I think why we connect two.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Because your body just said like we're done and we
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: don't need.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, we're done.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: There was no rock bottom. I think the stigma, you know,
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: maybe years ago.
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  Speaker 4: Was oh my god, what happened, like what terrible thing
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  Speaker 4: happened in your life that you gave up alcohol?
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  Speaker 3: And I don't think there needs to be that. There
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  Speaker 3: doesn't need to be.
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  Speaker 4: That, and we need to get rid of that stigma too,
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  Speaker 4: because everybody has a choice. And the other thing I
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: always think of is it's just one thing, so like
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: living my life and doing everything else that I normally
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: would do.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: I go on vacations with my girlfriends.
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: So I just got back from Punta Kana with three
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  Speaker 4: of my best girlfriends, And this is the second one
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  Speaker 4: that I've.
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  Speaker 3: Been on where I didn't drink and.
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  Speaker 4: I had the same fun I went on the same
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  Speaker 4: trip I went to. I did all the same things,
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  Speaker 4: just without the one thing. And I think too a
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: lot of people when they think about giving up drinking,
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: they're like, oh, I'm going to give up my whole
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  Speaker 4: social life.
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  Speaker 3: I'm going to be missing out and so much.
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  Speaker 4: But really you're you can do exactly the same things
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  Speaker 4: that you were doing before, just without.
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  Speaker 3: That one thing.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's been another thing that's been like very
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: inspiring to me because I feel like I'm watching you
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: almost like through your stories learn how to like not substitute,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: but like find joy in other things and other ways
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: to relax and like, you know, you have your little
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: natural tonics or whatever you bring with you. Like the
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: vacation specifically was super awesome for me to watch both
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: of them because I was just like, it's a lot
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: to be the one person not drinking, but you were
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: enjoying yourself and then you were honest, you were like Okay,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: I've been around drink people for this long and you know,
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: I love them, but like I'm ready to wrap it up,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: and I was watching that.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: It's a whole other level of self care too, and
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: it's really hard to explain in the moment, like I
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: tried to go in.
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: You know, if I'm around anybody who's drinking, I make
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: sure they'll let them know ahead of time, like, hey,
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: I'm not drinking, and these are some of my boundaries
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: because you never want to have those conversations in the
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: moment after alcohol has been involved for part of the
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: day for other people. I'm just really I guess blessed
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: that I have a really good support system. You know,
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: my family all understands. I had just had wonderful friends
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: and we go like we go to all inclusives, right,
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: so there's alcohol everywhere, But I found to find joy
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: in other things. And I think even like all inclusive aside,
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: I think for me it became I just loved the
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: ritual of that first class of wine, Like that's what
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: I like looked forward to every single every single day.
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: Let's be honest for them, especially after COVID. But then
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: it was like for me, the first class was the
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: end of my day. So what I mean by that
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: is I would have the first class and I would
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: get so excited.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: For that as a ritual that gave me that like
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: hit of dopamine.
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: But then I would either keep drinking and I would
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: get intoxicated, so that would be the end of my day.
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: Or if I decided that I just wanted to have
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: the one glass of wine at lunch or whatever and
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: then just not have another glass the rest of the day,
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: I'm still thinking should I have another glass? Should I
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: have another glass? And so it was like this mental game,
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: and that ended my day too, so to me, and
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: that's why I have gained the day. Has been my
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: mantra throughout all of this is I just always wanted
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: to gain the day.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: I never wanted my day to be over, and so
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: I just always look forward to what's next in my day.
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: And that's gotten a lot clearer and a lot easier
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: when I'm not either chasing a buzz or just trying
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: to question myself like should I have another glass or
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: should I not, because it's just such a mental game.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: So a lot of people say when they give up
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: drinking that it's freedom and that is so so so true.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: I don't have to like question anything or make that decision.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it can, it sounds like it.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean I know it can be all consuming,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: you know, Okay I had one, or like my anxiety
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: could get bad after one glass and then it's like okay,
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: well I need another one to calm down or whatever.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: And like, I mean, I think everyone needs to look
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: at their relationship with drinking and do self check ins,
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: regardless of if you think you have a problem or not.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Obviously you mentioned COVID, Like during COVID, I lost three
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: grandparents in a row, and I was living alone, and I.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Was getting after it because what the hell else? You know.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Obviously it started with like you know, my coworkers, like
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: they didn't want to go home to their spouses, and
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: then ya would have we would have a dream like
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: it was just and everyone was drinking more, you know,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: and then like you have to watch, like my cousin
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: was here recently, and I'm like, okay, it runs in
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: our family, Like we got we had to reassess or
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: at least look at it and go, hey, even if
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: you don't want to stop, like it's okay if you
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: don't want to say that, but like really like look
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: at your relationship and I have so many questions for you,
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: but I want to go back now when you stop drinking.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: Was that related?
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Because you and I both share and I hope you
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: don't mind me saying like we had these like weird
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: neck heads us and I know you were having migraines, right.
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So I've always had migraines, and I actually like
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: have my neck is all jacked up and everything too,
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: which is a whole nother topic, but.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: I had this.
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: I kind of started getting more headaches, more migraines, and
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: then right around the time that I gave up alcohol too,
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: I just started getting really light headed and like dizzy
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: all the.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: Time, and I just didn't know what it was.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: And then I.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: Actually I had like a really scary, just like medical
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: episode one day, which was which was the catalyst for
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: me saying, Okay, I'm not gonna be putting alcohol in
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: my body anymore. And it was almost like a it
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: was like a stroke like experience, and I was convinced
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: that I had a stroke. I was convinced I had
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: a stroke, and from that day forward, I I just
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: said I'm cutting alcohol out of my system. So I
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: stupidly though, didn't go directly to the ey. Like I
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: was coming home from work. I was actually driving like
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: I had to, Like my hands were all tingly and
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: my vision was blurred and I was super dizzy and
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: I had to pull over.
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: And I just.
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: Remember how low I felt in that moment, Like I
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: just felt like the most physically scared that I've ever
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: felt before. And I got home to my family and
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: sort of just rested that night. And then finally the
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: next day, I was like, Okay, I'm going to call
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: a doctor, like I should have went right away. And
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: then of course when you call a doctor, you can't
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: get in for like weeks or months, and so I
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: didn't end up seeing a neurologist until probably six weeks later.
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: So just throughout that time, I'm like, I'm not going
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: to drink until I talked to a neurologist, like I
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: really want to know what happened. Well, everything came back
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: like there was no sign of stroke, thank god, but
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: I still wanted to know, like what happened.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So it's been.
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: Like this year long journey of just really trying to
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: figure out what's been going on with my body and
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: like I'm.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: In peri metopause, Like that's probably part of it.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: But I also found out that I have this thing
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: called POTS, which is a weird funny name.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: It's stam going to get this wrong.
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: It stands for pasterial orthotic tachycardia syndrome.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, my best friend has it too, and I'm
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: like I'm trying to remember. Yeah yeah, And.
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: That essentially means my blood flow is is messed up,
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: like my blood volume. Like if I'm laying down and
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: then I go to stand up, the blood doesn't get
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: to my head quick enough.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: And that's the easiest way to explain it. So now, like,
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: and that's.
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: Also not something that you get diagnosed with like day one.
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: You don't just go into a doctor, tell them all
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: your symptoms and they're like, you have POTS.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you nere a.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: It's a it's a condition.
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: It's a condition of the nervous system, and it's really
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: you find out that you sort of have it by
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: process of elimination. So I would keep going to these
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: different doctors, ear doctors, TMG doctors, neurologists like all this
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: other stuff, and because none of that was checking out,
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: or because it was checking out. Finally, I had a
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: few people that were just like, hey, think you have
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: pots And I'm like.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: What is that?
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: I keep hearing this?
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: And so because of that, I have to be as
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: hydrated as possible, and so drinking water is the number
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: one thing, and not drinking alcohol is my own number
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: one thing as well too, and so yeah, lo and behold.
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, just like cutting alcohol and drinking more water has
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: helped my headaches, I'm still dealing with, like how to
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: just regulate my nervous system and regulate my light headedness
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: that I have every day. But there's you know, there's
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: a million things I can do and am doing. And
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: the one thing I'm not going to do is drink alcohol.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Right, I love it, and I well, I mean I
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: don't love that journey for you, but I love that, okay,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: And I got to love that you on.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: No.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: I love that you have pods. I'm so happy, Okay,
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: I'm so to god. No, I love that you did that.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think a lot of will be like, okay,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: like something's going on with my body. I should stop
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: the things that you know, I mean, alcohol's poisoned, like
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: you know, and that and I also know how hard
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: getting diagnosed with PATS is. Because my friend was so
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: frustrated because she actually like did her research online and
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: was like, I have this, yeah, and it's hard for
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: them to say. But I know that that in itself
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: is a struggle. But the reason I asked you is
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: because I wanted to know if the not drinking was
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: tied to the health journey. And so that answers my question. Yeah, yeah, okay,
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: I wonder.
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: I mean one of many things, Like it's improved every
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: part of my life. It's improved my physical health, my
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: mental health, my relationship.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: Health, my career health.
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: Like when I say when people ask me why, I
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: just say, I'm doing it for all of my healths.
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: Like literally it's making everything better.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Yes, And I think that when I'm a observer, like
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: I yap a lot, but I observe a lot and
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: I ingest a lot. And I think that when people
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: tell people who drink that they don't drink and there's
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: not a you know, I crash my car or my
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: wife left me or whatever, that I think I have
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: noticed that people get defensive because I think it makes
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: them feel bad about themselves sometimes, like their relationship with alcohol.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: And I watch it get projected onto those people all
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: the time, because I feel like they receive it as like, oh,
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: she's better than me, or she thinks she's better than me,
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: But it's really because they feel shameful about how much
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: alcohol consumes their life and they feel weird because you
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: can have fun without it, and they're sitting at this
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: party going.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: Why not you want to drink?
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: So, I mean, I don't know if you've experienced that,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: but I do want to get into if you don't
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: mind sharing what your boundaries are that you mentioned with
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: other people around questions speaking about it all that.
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Well, like I said, I'm pretty lucky that I
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: have a pretty understanding support system.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: I think there's definitely been a few comments from people
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: in my life life who maybe aren't so close of friends,
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: but you know, I'll say, hey, I stopped drinking, and
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: like their response is kind of like, well that sucks,
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: you know, and it's like, well, actually, does it suck
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: for me or does it suck for you? And so
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: I had that realization too, is like when someone says
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: that sucks, it really means it sucks for them.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they want someone else to, you know, do it
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: with them, so they yeah.
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: Like I no longer there to like validate that it's okay,
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: and like I was there before too, like I you know,
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: don't get me wrong. I also I don't want to
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: ever pass any judgment on anybody.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: Because it was just me like a year and a
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: half ago.
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: And I always thought that too, like what's wrong with
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: people that don't drink like that?
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: Like what is wrong with them?
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: And so for me, my boundaries around people are just
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: being like super duper honest and just being like just
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: giving very simple answers too, because a lot of times
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: people do want that like long drawn out dramatic response
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: of like I crashed my car and I got a
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: dui and you know all this other stuff, and it's
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: really like the simplest answer was it's just.
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: Not right for me anyway.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and I kind of.
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: Leave it that and then my personality like I'm so
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: awkward that I just kind of like sit there in
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: silence and then we move on.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: Well, by the way, I don't think you're awkward at all,
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: but yeah, no, I mean I think people will have
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: a hard time sitting with like, you know, nose a
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: full answer or this is that and there's nothing else,
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: and so sometimes people have to sit with that and
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I like that. And you mentioned that you will not
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: talk about it with people while they're drinking, right, is
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: that what? Yeah?
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: I try not to, you know, with my with in
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: situations where I know I'm going to go into and
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: other people are drinking, especially you know, with my vacations
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: because we're kind of all stuck on a resort together.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: Like I just really had to say ahead of time,
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: hey guys, I'm still not drinking, because I think they
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: I think they kind of thought like, oh, she didn't
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: drink last year, maybe she'll drink this.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: Year, and so I just like, I'm still not drinking.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: You know, I did bring some cheese sea drinks with me.
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: I probably shouldn't have smuggled them into the country.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: But I was. I did it like everybody needs that.
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: I didn't get put in the Dominican jail, so that's good.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: So I just kind of told them my plan ahead
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: of time, and then like I think they all know
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: that I can have fun without booze too.
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but I also had to say, like alcohol fuels
• 20:14
  Speaker 5: you to like want to like stay up late and
• 20:17
  Speaker 5: be crazy, and so I just had to put boundaries around,
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: like I crash at a certain point, like it's.
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: Eleven, like I'm done, Like I you know, I can't.
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: I don't have the alcohol and me to keep going
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: anymore either, And so I just had to have those
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: conversations up front too.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: I love that you still go.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: I love that they I mean, friends all should be accepting,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: but you know, you hear situations where somebody doesn't get
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: invited anymore, or you know, it's like a it's like
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: such a thing for people and.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: It doesn't need to be And I love that, and
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: I love that you are like this.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: I'm the same person. But do you have to pay
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: for the all inclusive?
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: Because like, yeah, I do you?
• 20:54
  Speaker 6: Oh, I hate that, but I make it up in
• 20:56
  Speaker 6: like the desserts and like the food, and I don't know,
• 21:00
  Speaker 6: I just like being there with them too, and so
• 21:02
  Speaker 6: I just like suck it up and paid for the
• 21:03
  Speaker 6: all inclusive.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you're I mean even when like you're single
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: sometimes and you go out with a bunch of couples
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: and like even if you are drinking or like whatever,
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: your bill ends up being much more and sometimes you
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: have to eat it. But yeah, I love the and
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: and did you start craving sweets after used ap drinking
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: because two people in my life, Oh my god, yeah.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: So candy, Like I think I finally started weaning myself
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: off of it.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but my go.
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: To at first was Hot to Molly's.
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: Like that was just like my I don't know why,
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: Like every night when I got home from work, like
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: normally be like poor crisp, cool glass of wine, and
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: instead I would just like open a box of Hot
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: to Molly's.
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: It was like that was my ritual. That became my
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: ritual then.
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: And so Hot to Mollies and jelly bellies that's like
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: what got.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: Me through like the first year. Yeah, I still have
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: like a two.
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: Pom bag of jelly bellies out in the kitchen, but
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: like I don't crave sweets.
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: As much anymore.
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: And I also, like I at first, I did a
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: lot of the mattails and like things that you can
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: buy too, like an apiers or mocktails.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: I did pose for probably nine months or so. Now
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: I just don't really care anymore.
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: I mean, this is my ritual now when I get home,
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: it's like a diet coke.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: There's like nothing better than a diet coke. And it's
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: so easy. I can like buy it.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Anywhere and you can drive that well.
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: I can drive after Yeah, you good mom and a
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: good wife with my diet coke.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: Ye, I mean I'm addicted to my coc cola, so
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: I get it like that.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Such a ritual for me anytime I have any ailment.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: Or a bad dan like, I need like a coke
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: or a frozen coke immediately.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the any options have gotten way better because when
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: I was so I have an eight year old son,
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: and when I was pregnant with him, I remember like
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: there was like two different options of any wine and
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: they both just tasted.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: Like grape juice.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: Now there's so many, Like all of the liquor stores
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: have like whole aisles, like well lit aisle.
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: It's no longer like in the.
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: Back of the corner of the store with just like
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: a lot of different options.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: So for me, if I like get like a really
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: bad craving or like a craving, I'll just go get
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: like one of my favorite models of NA line. And
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: that's like the best thing now because I could literally
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: have thirteen bottles of it if I wanted to, and
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: I'm not like having like you know when the bottle
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: empties and you're sad, Like I no longer feel that
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: way anymore because I just have another bottle if.
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: I wanted one.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there are so many good options that really taste similar,
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: and I can understand how.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: I mean obviously, like a lot of it's ritual based.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: So you know, if you usually have a beer when
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: you're grilling or whatever, you know sometimes that they do.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: Now if they taste similar, that it can help like
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: fulfill that feeling that you're looking for. Now you okay,
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: so you are you are doing THHD products, right, you said? I.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't do them as often like I did.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: I brought some on.
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: My trip so I cans and I only drive three
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: of them, so it's like I still have some on
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: my fridge, so I probably, like I haven't.
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: It's not like a ritual for me.
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: But if there's like an occasion where I just like
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: want to get like a little buzz or bop on,
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: like I'll pull one of those out.
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's not like on the regular. Yeah.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: Well, by the way, like zero judgment for any of it. Yeah,
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: there was like a white Claw tasting one that was
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: we that I think I talked about on the podcast,
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: and like they're they're getting really good and honestly, like
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: sometimes I really enjoy you can buy like liquid THHC
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: that's like flavored, you know, and starting to I see
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: it dispensaries, they're starting to flavor them like a gin
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: and tonic or whatever, which it yeah, really cool.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: I like to mix it and do some bubbly and
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: some lemon and like.
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I love to mix everything, like even
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: if there's no THC in it. Like I'm just like
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: mixing like cranberry juice and sparkling waters and like all
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: the syrups. Yeah, lavender syrup right now is like my thing.
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: Just get all these and I just a mixologists, right,
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: and again back to it's just one thing, right. You
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: can make a beautiful looking matil for the holidays or something,
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: and it's the same.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: It looks exactly the same. It just doesn't have ethanol in.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: It, right, crazy, right, right? I love that it's just
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: one thing. It's super interesting because my mom is and
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: she's on the young end of them, but she is
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: a literal boomer and it's eight years younger.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: Sorry mom, but we and my mom is a psychologist.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: So my mom and my stepdad have very strong feelings
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: about what it means to be sober and about I
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: think obviously they're tied to his sobriety journey, but they
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: get very like offended if somebody is Calie sober and
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: I feel completely different, which I don't all respect to them,
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: because my stepdad has had to cut everything. He cannot
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: do me, he works the program and whatever, so I
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: can understand why for him he may feel that way,
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: like you can't.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: Say you're sober if you're not completely sober.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: And my mom will co sign that because of all
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: we have gone through, you know, due to his addictions
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: and his relapses or whatever. But I also I'm so
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: different to where I have friends. I think that weed
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: is keeping them from drinking, and drinking is their real issue,
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: and it doesn't make them grab for a drink, and
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: it doesn't affect their relationships and it doesn't make them
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: make dumb.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Choices or drive or whatever. And so for me, I
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: have zero judgment about it.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: I know the new Cali sober is you just do
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: weed and mushrooms, like they need a new name for that.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: But like it's just very interesting, like talking to them
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: because they get so offended by it. But I'm like,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: weed is so different. I don't know, I feel completely Yeah, I.
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: Mean it is, and trust me, Like I've read some
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: quitlet this year and you know, started following socials, and
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: I think where it gets really tricky is for the
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: people who are really in the depths of a terrible addiction.
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: And now I want to be really careful with like
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: talking about that, because I know that's a whole other
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: side of the spectrum. And I think people who are
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: questioning wanting to quit drinking also question am I an addict?
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: And that's I think just a natural tendency for any
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: human being is to become addicted to something. What I
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: realized is that I don't think I'm on that far
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: end of the spectrum, so I can substitute it with
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: other things and it's.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: Not going to trigger the craving or the need because
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: it is a need for alcohol.
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: Now, you know, I think if I'm because I have
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: had the opportunity to sort of help others and talk
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: with others through this who have admitted to me like
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: I'm more into the addiction side of this, and so
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: it is a trickier slope, and I know there's advice
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: like if you are trying to quit, like don't do
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: the mocktails, don't do the THHD drinks because it's still
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: something that's gonna it's still something that's might trigger or
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: like sit within your within your mindset.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: I was like all excited to tell I like mom,
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: like they make mocktails for you know, shot and she
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: was like, no.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: That is not for him.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, okay, but they are very different,
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: which is why. And I think your situation is I
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: don't know, not not spoken about it as much, which
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: is why I wanted to have you on, because there's
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: far less people quitting who didn't have a major addiction around.
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: It's like this gray area right where it's like for
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: the longest time, I just questioned my relationship with it,
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: and you know like, look, I started drinking when I
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: was probably fifteen, and that just became.
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: The social norm and the cultural norm as I as
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: I grew older, and you start to question it.
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: And I think I think for people who are in
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: that gray area, who don't identify as like a hardcore addict,
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: it's like hard to explain yourself and then you just
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: give in and you're like, well, I'm not an addict,
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: so I'm just going to give in, and I guess
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: this is fine. So it's like a really a gray
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: area to navigate too, which is why I always have
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: to be really careful with like anybody that I'm talking to,
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: because everybody's different, everybody's story is different. But the one
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: thing I think that everybody has to determine.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: Is what they want.
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: And so you know, I think you have to want
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: it first, Like that's your first step. You know, I'm
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: speaking of steps like I don't believe in like.
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: The the AA or like any like all of that either.
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: I know that's a whole other topic too.
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: But everybody's journey is different and we all take it
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: our own way.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: You have to.
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: Support yourself with a very supportive surround system.
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: You have to build tools within your own toolbox.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: You're the only person that can keep that commitment to yourself.
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: And so that's just a lot of what I've been
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: doing over the last year and a half. It's just
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: like building those tools. And every time you get a
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: new tool or you know, I come up with these
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: quotes or sayings that kind of get me through the day.
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: And those are just tools in my tool belt now
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: that just help me to stay clear on everything.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I know you do have a heart out
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: and if we don't, I mean, we'll get to your
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: top five. If we don't get to mind, that's totally fine,
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: but I want to make sure that yeah.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, let's go.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: So, yeah, I told you I wanted to keep this
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: light and I do want to do the top five
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: because I made.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: A whole I made like a list of like things.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: That are like okay, perfect, okay, happy, Yeah, yeah, other things.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, So before we move on to your top five,
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: is there anything other than what you've spoken about that
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: either you want to share that's.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: Helped you along your journey.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: We will talk about your gain the day and all
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: of that, but is there anything else you'd like to share.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Or say on the topic.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: Or what if someone's like secretly in a group of
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: people that like gets hammered and they're starting to think, hey,
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: I may not want to drink, but I don't have
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: it like advice or or anything.
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think the first thing to do is just
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: like find some body like minded, like just even one
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: person that's like minded, and that can be through a
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: social media relationship or through a real relationship. Just find
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: that one person and just make sure that you're able
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: to express your feelings, because if you keep your feelings
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: bottled in, you're just gonna keep suppressing them, and then
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: you're just gonna keep again, like caving into pressures or whatnot.
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: I think today too, there's just so many social media
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: accounts and whatnot that are out there that you can
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: follow along.
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: And sobriety in a lot of these accounts is very
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: light and like humorous, which I love.
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: And you also you just have to find humor. You
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: have to find humor, and so you have to be
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: able to give yourself the grace to not make it
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: so doomy and glue me either.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I love it.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: I think you're such an inspiration and I think it's
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: such a cool story.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: I think you're strong. I love watching you like.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Try other things and you know, whether it's the tea
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: tea drinks, or the books you're reading or the you know,
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: the folks that are helping you.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: Like I I truly admire it. I know it's not
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: an easy thing to do. I know there's a lot
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: of judgment.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: I know people can say the wrong thing, and I
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: think it just takes immense strength. So I'm so proud
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: of you and it's such an inspiration. Honestly, thank you.
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: From you.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Please, I'm not I'm just the same
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: as the next guy.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: But I but I, I don't know. I like what
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: I like and I can sense what's real, and I
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: I like to think, and I don't know. I've just
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: I've really enjoyed watching your journey and I I think
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: it's it's awesome and I think that it needs to
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: be talked about more. So that's why I want her
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: to do it. Yeah, hell yeah, Okay, so let's get in.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: Let's just do your top five and we'll chat it
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: and then if we have time, I'll throw something in there.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: If not, all good.
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So I have a whole I have a list.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 32:53
  Speaker 4: So my newest obsession is this thing called Brick and
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna but it's this little and it's a brick.
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: It's called Brick.
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: I think the website is just like brick dot com
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: or just st brick block, and you tap your phone
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: on it and it's a physical thing that like blocks
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: certain apps from your phone. So like it prevents doom scrolling,
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: and I bought it off a TikTok shop of course, okay,
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: where I was doom scrolling.
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: And it's a physical thing. So it's like if I'm
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: upstairs and I'm like laying in bed and I.
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: Have my phone bricked, that means I can't go on
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: to TikTok or Instagram or like whatever you assign, and
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: so like physically makes you get up off your ass
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: and like on brick it.
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: And sometimes you're.
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: Just too lazy and you're like, I guess I'm just
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: gonna like read a physical book now, right.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: I've seen that someone else I follow is obsessed with
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: it too, and then I saw you were using.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: It, and I'm curious about it. I need I would
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: lose the brick and then be screwed.
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: Well, I did lose it one time, or actually I
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: took it to my office and I left it there
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: over the weekend and you get like five emergency on bricks,
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: but I need it all weekend with like out oh
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: like talk about like restraint.
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: I didn't use one of my five on bricks.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, Now you're just bragging because I don't know if
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: anything that's amazing, like their self control is I aspire
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: to have that, like genuinely, I don't know.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: You just find like the simpler life and then you
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: find joy in that.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: I will say, like if I am with people that,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: if I'm having fun, I will not be on my phone.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: There's a zero percent chance on a vacation when I'm
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: with my best friends, you will literally someone will find
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: my phone in like a puddle in the corner and
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: be like, whose phone is this?
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, I forgot that was mine.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: So I will say, when I am distracted like that,
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be on my phone.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: So I enjoy that.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good. It helps.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: Other thing, So I'm obsessed with handbags.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So.
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: Like I started like a little like a mini collection,
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: but like I don't have I don't have money upon
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: money to keep spending on hand bags.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: So I came across this website or app a service
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: called VIVRELLI I think that's how you say it, and
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: you can rent handbags.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: And I saw the door. I saw the door.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: Yes, so I have the door.
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: You rent a handbag, you get it for thirty days
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: and then you can you can switch it up for
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: another bag. It's like one hundred and thirty four dollars
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: a month for the tier that I'm in, and so
• 35:27
  Speaker 4: I started it back in November.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: I've had like a.
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: Valentino that I took to a wedding that was really fun.
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: I took the door on my trip. I had like
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: a Fendy and it's like you you get to have
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: a new one every month too. The only thing that
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: gives me a little bit of anxiety is during the holidays,
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: my package got lost in the mail and like it
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: was a little bit of a snaffoo for me to
• 35:49
  Speaker 4: return it to them, and so it was also like
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: part it was my bag because I forgot to like get.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: The receipt too.
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: But their customer service was lovely and like like bade
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: me not have anxiety over like almost losing a five
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: thousand dollars bag in the mail. So they really I
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: highly recommend I'm between bags right now, or I would
• 36:10
  Speaker 4: show you my newest.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: But yeah, these are two really good ones. You came
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: prepared well.
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: I love it. I love it.
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're gonna laugh at my next one. So my
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: next one, I thought about this, and I'm.
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: Like water like period, Yep, that's it, No I have
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: I'm not laughing.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: My mom is actually like an insane water snob, and
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: like every issue or ailment we had when were growing up,
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: she says, it's because we weren't drinking enough water, and
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: so I actually am really into water as well.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: Like yeah, yeah.
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: Imagine going around telling people like I'm just like really
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: into water right now.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: No, but like it changes every like if you actually drink.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, none of us are drinking like or you know,
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: unless you're amazing the amount we're supposed to every single day,
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: but it changes, yeah, your health, your I mean, and
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: like there's nothing like like I always tell my friends,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: like if someone makes me a good water, like I'm
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: like that was a good water, you know, like the
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: right of ice or like lemon ice.
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, the ice, like the ice and like maybe
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: a little bit of flavoring or like a lemon I mean.
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: Come on, or cucumber, yeah, come on.
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: And I mean, because I.
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: Don't drink alcohol anymore, I'm like romanticizing like.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Ice water, I know, I like still drinking. I mean
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: maybe it's more so now for you, but like I
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: freaking love water. My grandma would swear that she doesn't
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: like it, so she would never drink it. And I
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: was like, how the hell are you functioning? Oh like
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: she was so dehydrated. But yeah, no, I'm not laughing. Honestly,
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: I love water too, man, I know.
• 37:46
  Speaker 4: Well, and again back to the pots, Like the number
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: one thing you have to do is hydrate yourself, right,
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: Like I have like little electro like packets that I
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: take with me everywhere, and it's just like, hydrate yourself. Okay,
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: my next one, let's see.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: So speaking of Na's, if anybody's looking for a good
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: na wine, like I mentioned, they have so many better
• 38:09
  Speaker 4: options now than they did like five years ago.
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: It's called spring in a bottle, okay, and you can
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: get it.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: We have.
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: I live in Minnesota. We have total Wine and more.
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: I think it's Binnie's. Is it Binnie's? Any of those
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: liquor stores is gonna have it. So spring in a
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: bottle and it's like a little sparkly too, So it
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: has like the.
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: The champagne topper on it, so I can still like
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: pop the top and I just like feel fancy drinking it.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: Okay. I love it.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: And they have like all different kinds of wine or
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: like the I mean it's well.
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: Spring in a bottle is like a rose is like
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: a sparkling okay, god, okay, yeah, but that's my favorite one.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, good, and it tastes like a real rose. I
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: had a friend drink a couple. It's is pretty close,
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: does it? Okay?
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: I have na wine and staid she still got to
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: hang over the next day from like because they don't
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: take the sulfates out of some of them, but yeah,
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: and some of.
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: Them are de alcoholized, which I also like too, because
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: in my mind, I'm like, Okay, it used to be
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: alcohol and.
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: Now it's not.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, and it might have.
• 39:08
  Speaker 4: One to trace amount in it, you know, but yeah,
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: I mean the soul face might give you a headache,
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: so maybe you shouldn't drink like.
• 39:16
  Speaker 6: Six thirteen of the IEA thirteen bottles, right.
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: But that's a really good one. And then my last
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: one is vitamins. So Gabba is like my vitamin d
• 39:27
  Speaker 4: jore right now. And Gabba essentially just helps you calm
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: your nervous system. And I think, and we'll get to
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: my crash out too. But like in today's society, we
• 39:38
  Speaker 4: all need to calm our nervous systems, and so I've
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: been regularly taking GABA and I can.
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: Just feel you just feel calmer and it helps you
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: just get get through like stressful situations too. So Gabba
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: the vitamin.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: Is my fifth and my love.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: And I love that you are into supplements too, because
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: so am I. I try to. I try everything and
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: anything because my system has never been regulated.
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: So I try.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: I've been you know, in fight or flight since I
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: was born, but I so I tried. So I love
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: that what was your crash out?
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: Well, so since I've been trying to regulate my nervous
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: system and I think I'm doing a pretty good job.
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: And I was trying to think.
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: I'm like what if I crashed out over lately? And
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: like I think my life is pretty calm. So I
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: have two things written down here on my crash out.
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: Number one is the files. Okay, I mean and that's
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: all I'm gonna say about that. Like, if there's one
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: thing that's like digging at my nervous system, it's the
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: damn files.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm going insane, Like I'm like, are
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: you guys not seeing what I'm singing?
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: I'm going insane, and then I will go down the
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: TikTok rabbit holes or the Reddit rabbit holes, and the
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: I love a good conspiracy theory, and I'm like connecting
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: dots from like ten years ago, fifteen years ago, twenty
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: years ago, and I'm like, oh, like everybody's trying to
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: solve all these crimes like cold cases now. So that's
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: like where I start to crash out. And that's where
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: I have to brick my phone because I'm like, I
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: just can't.
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: I can't pay attention to these files anymore.
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: But you have to.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: It's like you you want to, but you don't. It's
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: like you want to do something.
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: We have to do something, but we also have to
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: regulate our own nervous systems too.
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: So it's like this like.
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: Constant struggle of like how much should I be angry
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: and how much should I like block it?
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah? The balance up? Did you have you have to
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: leave at twenty right? Or did I say did you
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: say ten?
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: I can't I have like time more minutes?
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, We'll get you out of here. I'm sorry.
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So that's my crash out. My other one was
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: quick Books.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: What do you oh? Is that like you're is that
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: the app for reading?
• 41:43
  Speaker 4: It's like for finance. No, it's like, oh, it's like
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: helming system. And I had an absolute crash out over
• 41:49
  Speaker 4: quick Books the other day where I just because I
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: do side like side hustles and I try to cheat
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: my finances separate and I just could not figure something
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: out the other day, and I was like, I think
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: this was like the one time it actually crashed.
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: Out this year, like over something that like you probably
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: quote unquote shouldn't but you're like, this is just driving me.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: No, I mean, listen, we're all crashing out all the time.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: But okay, is it do you recommend it though?
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: Or it was I mean my the irs recommends it?
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: Oh oh we I don't mind. Am I stupid? What
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: is it?
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: It's just if you're not employed by an employer and
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: you have your own income, like my husband owns his
• 42:28
  Speaker 4: own business.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: Oh so my mom does that probably with her practice
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: because she did Okay, got it, got it?
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: Got it?
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, That's why I'm in corporate America because I
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: can't be my own accountant.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: I always get excited for tax season because I'm like, oh,
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: I'm getting a refund and my mom is like paying
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: all of her tex and she's like I hate it,
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: and like, yeah, okay, you're like the I R S
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: would encourage you to do it. Okay, I didn't know
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: that that was the term for it, So I'm a dumbass.
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: But no, no, it's a tool.
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, So if you want to plug anything or
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: tell everyone.
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: Oh yes, I yeah, I've I've Over the past year,
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: I've created sort of an Instagram account that is a
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: place just for mindful living.
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: It includes just you know, some.
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: Motivation around sobriety and around just like again, mindful living.
• 43:15
  Speaker 4: It's called Amethyst AF and the handle is Amethyst Underscore
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: AF Underscore Life. And then I also have amethystaf dot com,
• 43:25
  Speaker 4: which I just created I think six to eight pieces
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: of merch, including the.
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: Sweatshirt I have on here.
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: We can buy them now, which.
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's live now. This is my hard launch Okay.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: I was trying to figure out quick books, Kaitlin, because
• 43:39
  Speaker 4: I was trying to figure out how to pay myself with.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: You are such like you're you're smart and you're on
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: it and you're such a businesswoman because you're like, okay,
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: I gotta get this done.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: Before so we get wait by Yeah, I love it.
• 43:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so amethystaf dot com. Right now, I just have
• 43:54
  Speaker 4: some merch and some quotes and things up. But I
• 43:56
  Speaker 4: really feel like my purpose in life is just to
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: help other people. So I hope it's something that I
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: can scale over the years and just becomes a place
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: where I.
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: Have articles or blog posts or podcasts or whatever in
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: the future.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: I love it so much, and I need to have
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: you back on like you were such a great guest
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: and I wanted to talk to you about Minnesota. I
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: wanted to talk about so many things, so we will
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: have to have you back. I need to follow that
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: account be said. I need to make sure I'm following that,
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: and I'm going to buy some merch. We will post
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: all the things and thank you so much for being
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: a last minute guest. I've been like secretly planning this
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: without telling you for a while, but I just was like,
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: I have a hard time like remembering to like actually
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: do things.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, Okay, hopefully she can come on with
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: this little notice.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: I appreciate you.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: No, absolutely, it worked out really.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: Well, all right, So we'll post all of your stuff
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: on the Top five Podcast Instagram and then we can
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: post this video if.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: You're cool with that. Yeah, absolutely, okay, perfect. So let
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: me stop recording really quick. Okay, yeah, okay, stop cloud recording.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: Email