Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / #HURDLEMOMENT: How to Strategically Build Self-Worth

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#HURDLEMOMENT: How to Strategically Build Self-Worth · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

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Speaker 1: But the most important things in our life, the things
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Speaker 1: that are the most valuable, we are willing to do
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Speaker 1: just about anything for right. We're willing to spend that
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Speaker 1: higher dollar. We're willing to spend the time. When it
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Speaker 1: comes to ourselves, we have to acknowledge where we are.
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Speaker 1: Are we investing in ourselves? Do we find worth in
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Speaker 1: ourself enough to invest in ourselfs?
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Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, Emily body here. You are listening to another
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Speaker 2: installment of Hurdle Moment from Hurdle, a Whileness focus podcast
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Speaker 2: where I connect with everyone from your favorite athletes to
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Speaker 2: top experts and industry CEOs about their highest highs, toughest moments,
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Speaker 2: and everything in between. We all go through hurdles in life,
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Speaker 2: and my goal through these discussions is to empower you
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Speaker 2: to better navigate yours and move with intention so that
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Speaker 2: you can stride towards your own big potential and of
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Speaker 2: course have some fun along the way. For today's episode,
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Speaker 2: I am so elated to bring you the light that
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Speaker 2: is my good friend Vanessa Bryant. She's the founder of Unleashed,
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Speaker 2: which is a woman's empowerment concept.
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Speaker 3: I talked about it on the show not all that
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Speaker 3: long ago.
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Speaker 2: She recently held her first weekend event over in Salt
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Speaker 2: Lake City. She's also an author and a wellness advocate and,
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Speaker 2: like I said, just such a light and a dear
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Speaker 2: friend of mine, So I'm honored to have her on
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Speaker 2: the show.
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Speaker 3: Today we are chatting.
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Speaker 2: All about how to strategically build self worth. Vanessa lets
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Speaker 2: us in on her journey, talking about a low point,
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Speaker 2: a hurdle moment in her life after having her daughter,
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Speaker 2: where she felt as though she had to.
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Speaker 3: Re exis the woman that she had become.
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Speaker 2: You know, there are so many different chapters that we
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Speaker 2: all undergo on our journey, and during those chapters we
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Speaker 2: closely relate or identify with different titles.
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Speaker 3: So upon becoming a mother, Vanessa.
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Speaker 2: Realized that she needed to take a step back and
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Speaker 2: really examine what was truly important in her life and
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Speaker 2: how she wanted to continue to show up not just at.
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Speaker 3: Home, but also in her work.
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Speaker 2: Now spoiler alert, that journey helped her massively build her
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Speaker 2: own self worth, so that is why she is here.
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Speaker 3: To talk to us about that topic today.
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Speaker 2: In doing so, she reveals four actionable tips and suggestions
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Speaker 2: that we can all use when it comes to becoming
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Speaker 2: our own biggest hype man, hype woman, hype human, and.
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Speaker 3: Trust me, all of these tips.
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Speaker 2: Are ones that you can easily implement into your routine
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Speaker 2: within the next couple of weeks, and if you do,
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Speaker 2: I promise you're going to see a major difference. Listen,
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Speaker 2: Just like the said at the top of this episode,
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Speaker 2: investing in yourself is one of the best choices that
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Speaker 2: you can make so that you can not only show
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Speaker 2: up for you, but then pour into the cups of
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Speaker 2: the ones that you love.
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Speaker 3: Loved this convo.
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Speaker 2: Grateful to Vanessa for making the time and excited to
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Speaker 2: bring it to the feed. Make sure you are following
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Speaker 2: along with Hurdle Over at Hurdle Podcast. I am over
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Speaker 2: at Emily a Body, and I'd love to feature you
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Speaker 2: in an upcoming weekly hurdle via the Hurdler Spotlight. To
3:41
Speaker 2: submit yourself to be featured, head on over to the
3:44
Speaker 2: show notes and click submit a Hurdler Spotlight. I feature
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Speaker 2: one new hurdler in every Friday newsletter and with that,
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Speaker 2: let's get to hurdling. Today. I am chatting with my
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Speaker 2: dear friend Vanessa Bryant. She is the founder of Unleash,
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Speaker 2: a woman's empowerment concept as well as.
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Speaker 3: An author and a wellness advocate.
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Speaker 4: How you do, mness, I'm so good. I'm here with you.
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Speaker 4: Thank you, m yay.
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Speaker 2: I know, I'm so excited that this is finally happening
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Speaker 2: for us.
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Speaker 3: How are you? How are you really right now? How
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Speaker 3: are you doing?
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Speaker 4: That's a good question. I am really good.
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Speaker 1: Just came off a high from Unleash, which you were
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Speaker 1: with me, and that was so amazing. I think I'm
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Speaker 1: in a state of what next, and that's exciting. It's
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Speaker 1: also a little overwhelming, But I'm great, I'm good.
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Speaker 2: I think a lot of people listening to this can
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Speaker 2: probably relate to that idea of the come down from
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Speaker 2: something that you were so diligently toward. You had been
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Speaker 2: planning Unleash for the better part of a year. As
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Speaker 2: I mentioned at the top half of this, a woman's
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Speaker 2: empowerment concept. We had a weekend of events, so much
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Speaker 2: fun out in Salt Lake City just last month. And
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Speaker 2: now being in this place where you're asking yourself, where
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Speaker 2: do I go from here?
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Speaker 3: It can't be really overwhelming.
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Speaker 1: Absolutely, and I think it's beautiful in the sense of
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Speaker 1: you can create anything right out of the possibility, and
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Speaker 1: I think that's what Unleashed showed me and proved to
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Speaker 1: me really that one there's space for this, there's a
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Speaker 1: need for this. The way the women and even us
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Speaker 1: as facilitators of the event absorbed all of that information,
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Speaker 1: on all of that content and really just needed that moment.
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Speaker 1: I think it was confirmation that I need to do
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Speaker 1: more of this and that this is the space that
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Speaker 1: I am in fact supposed to be in. And you
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Speaker 1: do like come off of that high of Okay, this
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Speaker 1: is it. But then after you've spent so many months
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Speaker 1: planning something and then it's over, you're like, Okay, what
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Speaker 1: next do I jump right into the next thing. Of course,
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Speaker 1: women who were with us were like, we can't wait
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Speaker 1: a whole nother year, you know, for this again. So
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Speaker 1: when we're doing it again.
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Speaker 4: And I'm like, hold on a second, I'm not ready for.
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Speaker 3: All that, You're like, honey, this took a long time.
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Speaker 3: It's a lot right now. Yeah, exactly.
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Speaker 1: So it is a little bit overwhelming, but in the
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Speaker 1: best of ways, because I, like I said, it's it's
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Speaker 1: understanding that the possibilities are endless and the need is there,
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Speaker 1: and so with that you just take what you can
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Speaker 1: from it and you and you create, and you and
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Speaker 1: you move on to the next thing, and you and
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Speaker 1: you build.
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Speaker 2: And the great thing about also as you move forward
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Speaker 2: informed by what you went through, by your experiences. Right,
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Speaker 2: So although you carry that with you, you also have
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Speaker 2: the opportunity to start anew, regardless of what the situation
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Speaker 2: might be. So here you and I are chatting about
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Speaker 2: perhaps your next adventure, putting together another weekend conference of sorts.
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Speaker 2: But someone listening to this who maybe just ran their
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Speaker 2: first five K yeah, finished a certification course, or work
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Speaker 2: toward a huge presentation at their job, like you have
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Speaker 2: the opportunity now to sit down and ask yourself, what
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Speaker 2: is it that.
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Speaker 3: I truly want going forward?
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Speaker 2: What about this hurdle that I just overcame feels really
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Speaker 2: exciting to me?
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Speaker 3: And what about that maybe didn't serve me?
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Speaker 2: And how can I use that information to start anew?
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Speaker 3: Which is really awesome.
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Speaker 1: Absolutely I love that, and I think you're absolutely right.
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Speaker 1: Life is full of start and stops, right, and it
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Speaker 1: always we're always presented new opportunities for a fresh start,
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Speaker 1: for a new beginning, to take with us something that
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Speaker 1: we've learned from past experiences and carry it into whatever
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Speaker 1: is next. For us, and I think that, especially when
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Speaker 1: we talk about accomplishments, right, we work so hard for
8:23
Speaker 1: whatever it is that we, like you said, maybe it's
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Speaker 1: a five K, or maybe it's a project, or maybe you,
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Speaker 1: like me, started a new business adventure and you're approaching
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Speaker 1: different hurdles or you've overcome certain hurdles, and then after
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Speaker 1: that you have a moment to reflect and to ask
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Speaker 1: yourself what is next? And I think the most important
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Speaker 1: thing from that is to say, Okay, what have I
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Speaker 1: learned from everything I've done thus far? And just understand
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Speaker 1: that you have full authority over where you go from here.
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Speaker 4: Can I do it again? Yes?
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Speaker 1: If you would like to do, I have to do it. No,
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Speaker 1: if you don't want to. You know, whatever it is
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Speaker 1: that is you feel that serves you, you have an
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Speaker 1: opportunity to take that with you and to build a
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Speaker 1: new I think in the space that we're both in
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Speaker 1: where we do this work for ourselves but also to
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Speaker 1: impact others, there's inherently this I want to keep going.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, there really is.
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Speaker 2: And that step that you mentioned, that audit is one
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Speaker 2: that can be really easy to skip over. Right, I'm
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Speaker 2: certainly guilty of this, definitely in my past, I either
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Speaker 2: won't take the time to celebrate something, or I will
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Speaker 2: just speed into the next thing without really stopping to
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Speaker 2: be like, what was good, what was bad?
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Speaker 3: What would I change, how would I pivot? Et cetera,
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Speaker 3: et cetera.
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Speaker 2: This easily segues us into learning a little bit more
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Speaker 2: about you, because you yourself made a pretty decent pivot when
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Speaker 2: you started writing books and getting more into this work.
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Speaker 3: From what I know, you studied in college.
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Speaker 2: So why don't you give us a little bit of
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Speaker 2: your background before we dive headfirst into chatting about self worth?
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Speaker 4: Love that?
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Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely so my background. I actually studied nursing. I
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Speaker 1: got my bachelor's degree in nursing. I was a pediatric
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Speaker 1: oncology nurse for eight years. Had my daughter, and was
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Speaker 1: never on a path of I want to be a
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Speaker 1: stay at home mom.
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Speaker 4: That was never in my foresight. Actually, when I.
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Speaker 1: Had her, I was set on becoming an administrator in health,
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Speaker 1: and so I went back to school. I got my
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Speaker 1: master's in business administration, and I just knew that I
10:46
Speaker 1: was going to be a chief nursing officer of a
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Speaker 1: hospital one day. That was what I had my vision
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Speaker 1: set on. And as we know, life presents us with
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Speaker 1: different challenges. After having my daughter, I went back to work,
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Speaker 1: has been traveled a lot for work, and I just
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Speaker 1: sincerely felt like I wasn't able to do anything at
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Speaker 1: my best. I felt like I was pulled as a
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Speaker 1: new mom from my ability to really focus on that
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Speaker 1: part of who I was and learning that new part
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Speaker 1: of who I was was a struggle. So I felt
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Speaker 1: like I was failing there and at work because I
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Speaker 1: was emotionally not present and emotionally pulled. I really struggled
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Speaker 1: at work feeling like I was able to succeed. And
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Speaker 1: then I was going through school, and as we all know,
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Speaker 1: school is so heavy, busy, lots to do, and so
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Speaker 1: I just had to have a moment to step back
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Speaker 1: and to ask myself and ASA, what is it that
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Speaker 1: you really want out a life? And I think really
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Speaker 1: the decision was tough because.
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Speaker 4: It was this.
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Speaker 1: I had worked so hard and told myself so long
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Speaker 1: that my worth was attached to my job. So when
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Speaker 1: I sat and reflected, and what came up for me
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Speaker 1: was you need to pause your career. And in the
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Speaker 1: nursing world, most nurses understand you pause your nursing career.
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Speaker 1: You have to start all over again. You always have it,
12:26
Speaker 1: but you kind of have to start from the ground up.
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Speaker 1: So what I had built, I was really saying, I'm
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Speaker 1: ready to let go of that. But it was scary,
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Speaker 1: and it was scary for you know, the right reasons.
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Speaker 1: It was scary for the wrong reasons. And the wrong
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Speaker 1: reasons for me was that I was scared of losing
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Speaker 1: that attachment that I had built my self worth on
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Speaker 1: and that was my career. And so I did make
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Speaker 1: the decision to stay at home to focus on her,
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Speaker 1: to finish school, and in that space, I just really
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Speaker 1: struggled with knowing who I was. And so that's where
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Speaker 1: writing happened. That was an outlet for me to release
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Speaker 1: and to process and to be honest about myself. It
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Speaker 1: wasn't until you know, year a year probably into writing,
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Speaker 1: that I was even able to have conversations like this
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Speaker 1: where I could say, I feel like a failure, you know,
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Speaker 1: And from the outside looking in, a lot of my
13:27
Speaker 1: friends didn't see that. They saw, you know, a powerful woman,
13:31
Speaker 1: somebody who was willing to make a sacrifice, somebody who
13:33
Speaker 1: was still you know, juggling all of the things. But
13:37
Speaker 1: for me, it was gosh, if they can do it,
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Speaker 1: why can't I do it? It was that comparison and
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Speaker 1: my self worth was extremely low at that point in
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Speaker 1: my life, and so again writing was a way for
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Speaker 1: me to process, and through writing, I was able to
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Speaker 1: finally realize, you know what, there's more women, women especially
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Speaker 1: men too, that need to hear that it's okay, you
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Speaker 1: know that one your self worth shouldn't be attached to
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Speaker 1: your jobs, your accolades, your title, or anything else. It
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Speaker 1: comes from within. But it's also okay to feel not
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Speaker 1: okay and to be able to have a space to
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Speaker 1: reflect on that, to understand where it's derived from, and
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Speaker 1: to feel like you can open up so that you
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Speaker 1: can figure out where to go for sure.
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Speaker 2: And that vulnerability is just so important both for you
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Speaker 2: to move forward at the time in your own journey
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Speaker 2: toward building self worth, but also generally right for us
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Speaker 2: to know that whatever you may be seeing a highlight
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Speaker 2: reel or walking down the street.
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Speaker 3: Nothing is likely as it seems.
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Speaker 2: So to come out with it and be like, hey,
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Speaker 2: I'm struggling, ninety nine point nine percent of the time,
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Speaker 2: everybody else around you is struggling in some way too.
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Speaker 1: You know, absolutely absolutely, and what you said is so important.
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Speaker 1: This highlight reel is so true. Like I said, from
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Speaker 1: the outside looking in, people would say, you're married, you
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Speaker 1: have a daughter, you have a successful you know, you
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Speaker 1: had a successful career. You can still go back to that,
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Speaker 1: you're making money. All of the things that you know
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Speaker 1: from the outside looking in sound like fulfillment, right, you
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Speaker 1: can still be unfulfilled in self, especially if your self
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Speaker 1: worth is so low. And so for me, that's where
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Speaker 1: I recognize that even though writing was a way for
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Speaker 1: me to process and for me to find healing and contentment,
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Speaker 1: I recognize that, you know what, there's more women that
15:45
Speaker 1: need to hear this so that they don't feel alone,
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Speaker 1: so that they can understand the other side of the
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Speaker 1: story and to hear somebody say basically me too. You
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Speaker 1: know me to sis, I'm going through it just like
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Speaker 1: you are. Might be in a different way. But that
16:03
Speaker 1: was kind of the goal for me and why I
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Speaker 1: made the decision to publish a book. And I'm like,
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Speaker 1: I'm going to publish a book. I have no background
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Speaker 1: in writing. You know, I enjoy it, but it's not
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Speaker 1: something I was trained in. But at that point in
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Speaker 1: my life, I was at the point where I could say.
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Speaker 4: You know what, why not me? You know, why not me?
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Speaker 4: And so I did.
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Speaker 1: I self publish a book, which Amazon thankfully makes it
16:30
Speaker 1: very easy to do, and it was really well received.
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Speaker 1: And I think after that was you know, when you're
16:37
Speaker 1: doing your book parties and book releases and book celebrations, right,
16:44
Speaker 1: it was that moment where I was gathering women, especially
16:48
Speaker 1: together and hearing their stories as they heard mine, that
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Speaker 1: I realized that I want to create more spaces for
16:57
Speaker 1: women to come together and to share our stories because
17:01
Speaker 1: we all have that inner magic, we all have inner medicine.
17:05
Speaker 1: I feel that if we give an opportunity to share it,
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Speaker 1: somebody is going to be impacted and healed from that sharing.
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Speaker 1: And I certainly was. I was healed by hearing these others,
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Speaker 1: the other women, and their stories and how they've found
17:22
Speaker 1: help and healing and wholeness. And I think that they
17:27
Speaker 1: were impacted in a beautiful way by me, by hearing
17:31
Speaker 1: my story.
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Speaker 3: I'm sure that they have been. I have been.
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Speaker 2: Oh. Thanks. You know, when we when we chatted about
17:38
Speaker 2: what we really wanted to focus in on here today,
17:41
Speaker 2: you said that something you're super passionate about, as you
17:46
Speaker 2: really homed in on telling us about your background is
17:50
Speaker 2: how to strategically build self worth?
17:52
Speaker 3: And what really struck me.
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Speaker 2: About this topic was having a plan how to build
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Speaker 2: yourself up, which seems as though I'm sure the same
18:05
Speaker 2: plan won't work in the same ways for everyone, but
18:09
Speaker 2: having certain action items I actually feel to make the
18:14
Speaker 2: concept I feel makes the concept a little less overwhelming.
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Speaker 2: So when you say strategically building self worth, what do
18:22
Speaker 2: you mean by that?
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Speaker 4: This is what I mean. I mean exactly what you said.
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Speaker 1: We plan so much of our lives, right, and for me,
18:31
Speaker 1: I am a constant planner. When I had those moments
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Speaker 1: of self reflection to say, why is your self worth solo? Well,
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Speaker 1: I hadn't done enough to build it up right, And
18:45
Speaker 1: there's a lot of us in the world that I feel,
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Speaker 1: go around assuming that self self belief, self confidence is
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Speaker 1: derived naturally, like people are just innately born with that,
18:57
Speaker 1: and it's so far from the truth. Being that I
19:00
Speaker 1: have a scientific background, of course, I do deep dives
19:03
Speaker 1: into research and all these things, there's no research that
19:06
Speaker 1: supports that self believe, self confidence, self worth is something
19:10
Speaker 1: that is genetically given inherent. Does environments help it and
19:16
Speaker 1: influence it, absolutely, but genetically no so then what is
19:21
Speaker 1: it what separates one really self confident person from one
19:26
Speaker 1: who really struggles with self confidence? And that to me
19:30
Speaker 1: is just having a plan, having a plan that is
19:35
Speaker 1: building you up, pouring back into yourself. The things that
19:39
Speaker 1: we care about the most in our life we invest in.
19:43
Speaker 1: And so for me, it was, Hey, Vanessa, if you
19:47
Speaker 1: want to build your self worth, we need to be
19:50
Speaker 1: strategically making sure every single day we are doing something
19:55
Speaker 1: to build that up. And just like when you're in
19:59
Speaker 1: the gym, right you have a workout plan. You know
20:02
Speaker 1: you want to work up, work on your upper body,
20:05
Speaker 1: you want to build strength there, you have a plan
20:07
Speaker 1: to do so. Lower body you have a plan to
20:09
Speaker 1: do so when m is training for all of these marathons,
20:12
Speaker 1: you've got a plan to do so and to get
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Speaker 1: you there. You don't go from zero to one hundred
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Speaker 1: in a day. You build it. And so that is
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Speaker 1: something that I've been advocating for a lot, especially with women,
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Speaker 1: is that.
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Speaker 4: We need to be.
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Speaker 1: Very intentional about how we invest back into ourselves and
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Speaker 1: how we build up our self worth.
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Speaker 4: So I've got some action items we love.
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Speaker 3: An action item one planner talking to other planner.
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Speaker 2: Both include Google calendar invites like, I'm here with you,
20:46
Speaker 2: and I love this idea of investing in the things
20:49
Speaker 2: that we care about, and that we need to think
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Speaker 2: about ourself as a priority on the list of things
20:56
Speaker 2: that we care about, which is so easy.
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Speaker 3: At times to kind of put by the wayside.
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Speaker 2: Lets slip by the wayside, this idea that oh, I
21:03
Speaker 2: need to take care of myself if.
21:05
Speaker 3: I want to do X, Y, and Z.
21:07
Speaker 2: Well, right, that concept of putting your oxygen mask on
21:11
Speaker 2: first before you can help somebody else out super super important.
21:14
Speaker 2: So we've got action items and I want to hear
21:17
Speaker 2: about that. Where do we start? Where do we start?
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Speaker 3: Vanessa?
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Speaker 1: I think the first one and the most important one,
21:23
Speaker 1: is to talk to yourself and talk about yourself in
21:28
Speaker 1: a way that validates your worth. So how many times
21:33
Speaker 1: immediately when you wake up in the morning, look in
21:36
Speaker 1: the mirror, you're like, you know, what is that self talk?
21:40
Speaker 1: Like I had to be really honest with myself. My
21:43
Speaker 1: self talk was crap, you know. It was what I
21:48
Speaker 1: was saying to myself internally and even externally, it wasn't
21:54
Speaker 1: validating my worth. And so where I say you have
21:59
Speaker 1: to start is to really start being intentional about the
22:04
Speaker 1: things that you are saying to yourself when people are
22:07
Speaker 1: listening and when they aren't listening.
22:09
Speaker 4: And I think an.
22:10
Speaker 1: Easy way to start is through affirmations. And so you know,
22:15
Speaker 1: I am big on affirmations, but looking at yourself in
22:18
Speaker 1: the mirror saying out loud, I am worthy. Start with
22:23
Speaker 1: that one and over time it may seem really difficult
22:29
Speaker 1: at first, but over time you're going to start believing it.
22:34
Speaker 1: And therefore, when other people say things about you, especially
22:38
Speaker 1: when they're good.
22:39
Speaker 4: You'll believe it. But you won't rely on.
22:42
Speaker 1: Other people to give you that feedback to know that
22:46
Speaker 1: you're good, to know that you're worthy. And that's where
22:50
Speaker 1: I was as well. I would rely on the affirmations
22:53
Speaker 1: from other people to build my self worth, and then
22:56
Speaker 1: when those don't come, all of the sudden, your self
22:59
Speaker 1: worth is go on.
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Speaker 2: travel packs to your point about the affirmations that we
24:59
Speaker 2: start with. I love that example that you gave. I
25:03
Speaker 2: am worthy. This doesn't need to be you feeding yourself bs.
25:09
Speaker 2: You don't need to say I am the most beautiful
25:12
Speaker 2: woman in a twelve block radius, or my shoulders are
25:17
Speaker 2: absolutely stunning when you don't feel that way. I'm not
25:20
Speaker 2: saying stare in the mirror and hype yourself up to
25:23
Speaker 2: a level that feels unobtainable or fake. I'm saying, dig
25:28
Speaker 2: into your soul and be honest with yourself about what
25:33
Speaker 2: you deserve and who you really are.
25:36
Speaker 4: I couldn't agree more.
25:38
Speaker 1: I had to start with actually doing it with my
25:42
Speaker 1: kids because it was easier for me to when my
25:47
Speaker 1: self worth was so low, it was easier for me
25:50
Speaker 1: to say, I don't want my kids to feel anything
25:53
Speaker 1: but worthy, and I don't want them to find themselves
25:58
Speaker 1: as an adult and don't understand their self worth. I
26:02
Speaker 1: want them to know it for themselves from a very
26:05
Speaker 1: young age.
26:06
Speaker 4: And it's so funny that kids are.
26:08
Speaker 1: Like the most confident human beings ever, you know, like
26:12
Speaker 1: they just are, And it's like, what point in life
26:15
Speaker 1: do we lose that?
26:16
Speaker 3: Oh, when people start beating jerks right.
26:20
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, I just wanted to just put
26:23
Speaker 1: it in a capsule. So we really started to do affirmations,
26:27
Speaker 1: and because I wanted them to do it, I was
26:30
Speaker 1: doing it. And they'll make up their own but or
26:35
Speaker 1: I'll stay repeat after me. But we always end with
26:38
Speaker 1: With my daughter, we always say I am a girl
26:41
Speaker 1: and I can do anything. And with my son, he'll
26:43
Speaker 1: say I am a boy and I can do anything,
26:46
Speaker 1: and that I can do anything. Simple, just like you said,
26:50
Speaker 1: simple but so effective, so effective, and all of a sudden,
26:54
Speaker 1: you feel lighter and your shoulders roll back and your
26:56
Speaker 1: head is tilted up a little higher, and you start
27:00
Speaker 1: to believe it day after day. So simple, I agree,
27:03
Speaker 1: Keep it simple, keep it light, keep it believable.
27:06
Speaker 3: That first one I love.
27:07
Speaker 2: Then talking to yourself, starting to build yourself up using affirmations.
27:12
Speaker 2: Where do we go from there? Once you have some
27:15
Speaker 2: sort of an affirmation process.
27:17
Speaker 1: Once you have an affirmation process, the next part and
27:21
Speaker 1: the most important part we talked about it earlier. You
27:23
Speaker 1: have to invest in yourself. That can be through time,
27:27
Speaker 1: that can be through money.
27:29
Speaker 4: You have to decide.
27:30
Speaker 1: But the most important things in our life, the things
27:33
Speaker 1: that are the most valuable. We are willing to do
27:39
Speaker 1: just about anything for right. We're willing to spend that
27:42
Speaker 1: higher dollar. We're willing to spend the time. When it
27:45
Speaker 1: comes to ourselves, we have to acknowledge where we are.
27:50
Speaker 1: Are we investing in ourselves? Do we find worth in
27:54
Speaker 1: ourself enough to invest in ourself? And when we can
27:59
Speaker 1: take a moment to say, how can I do this better?
28:03
Speaker 1: How can I invest in myself so that I get
28:05
Speaker 1: a return on my investment?
28:07
Speaker 3: Right?
28:07
Speaker 1: Think about it like you think about your finances and
28:11
Speaker 1: sincerely be honest with yourself. Is there an ability for
28:15
Speaker 1: me to invest back into myself on a deeper level?
28:18
Speaker 4: For me, it's time.
28:20
Speaker 1: It's creating time and opportunity to just connect back to
28:24
Speaker 1: myself again. As a mom, as somebody who is always
28:28
Speaker 1: juggling seventeen irons in the fire, it is very easy
28:33
Speaker 1: to put myself at the very end of the to
28:35
Speaker 1: do list. You know, I'm like, I know I need
28:38
Speaker 1: self care, whatever that looks like. Maybe it's reading a book,
28:41
Speaker 1: maybe it's taking a bath, maybe it's working out, maybe
28:44
Speaker 1: it's coffee with a friend. But I always put it
28:48
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, and then it's like
28:50
Speaker 1: if I get to it, great, If not, oh well, no,
28:54
Speaker 1: you need to be making sure that you put yourself
28:57
Speaker 1: at the top of your to do list. So I
29:00
Speaker 1: have started to at least a couple times a week
29:04
Speaker 1: ensure that I put myself at the top of the list.
29:07
Speaker 1: That is my accountability to ensure that I am investing
29:12
Speaker 1: in myself in that day. And then if you're like,
29:16
Speaker 1: I don't know where where to start with investing in myself?
29:20
Speaker 1: Do I need to you know, spend more money out myself?
29:22
Speaker 1: Do I need to spend more time? What does it
29:25
Speaker 1: look like?
29:25
Speaker 4: I would just ask you to ask.
29:27
Speaker 1: Yourself, when do you feel your best? That's where you
29:31
Speaker 1: should probably pour your time, your money, your resources into
29:36
Speaker 1: a little bit more and say, okay, I feel my
29:39
Speaker 1: best when? So how do I execute how to invest
29:43
Speaker 1: more time into that space?
29:46
Speaker 4: So invest in yourself.
29:48
Speaker 3: That's such a good tip.
29:50
Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting and you and I had a
29:52
Speaker 2: conversation about this the other day. Sometimes we get so
29:55
Speaker 2: caught up in behaviors that may not be the best
29:58
Speaker 2: for us because of convenience or pattern. Right, So you
30:03
Speaker 2: and I both sharing some sentiments the other day about
30:06
Speaker 2: wanting to treat our bodies a little bit better. And
30:09
Speaker 2: for me, when I think about when I feel my best,
30:12
Speaker 2: it's when I'm not treating my body this way. But
30:16
Speaker 2: I'm in this pattern of maybe going out to one
30:19
Speaker 2: too many dinners and having one too many glasses of
30:22
Speaker 2: wine during the week at home, and just not nourishing
30:25
Speaker 2: my body in a way that feels right for me.
30:28
Speaker 2: And so when I take that step back and get
30:33
Speaker 2: okay with being a little uncomfortable being honest about the
30:37
Speaker 2: behaviors that maybe aren't serving me, then I can step
30:40
Speaker 2: into this place where I truly am investing in myself,
30:44
Speaker 2: prioritizing myself, prioritizing my.
30:46
Speaker 3: Own health and well being and mental health as well.
30:51
Speaker 1: Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I think that you know,
30:55
Speaker 1: when we ask ourselves what we're willing to make time for,
31:00
Speaker 1: it is so funny. How often are us being put
31:06
Speaker 1: on the list ourselves? Is not is not common. We
31:10
Speaker 1: don't you know, we'll put.
31:11
Speaker 4: Just about anything else on the list, but ourselves. We
31:14
Speaker 4: have to learn how to do that.
31:15
Speaker 1: And I think that creating even time for reflection, like
31:18
Speaker 1: you said, m to say, Hey, I've been creating this
31:21
Speaker 1: new pattern of behaviors and it's actually not contributing. You know,
31:28
Speaker 1: it's not pouring back into my investing of myself. It's
31:32
Speaker 1: pulling away from why did I start doing that? And
31:36
Speaker 1: then it's it makes it a little bit easier to
31:39
Speaker 1: make the pivot so that you can make sure that
31:42
Speaker 1: the habits that you are creating actually contribute to your
31:45
Speaker 1: investment of yourself.
31:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, that question, the why did I start doing that?
31:51
Speaker 2: Is the hard question, right It's the question that you
31:54
Speaker 2: never want to answer. You don't want to get honest
31:57
Speaker 2: about where things in your life may be really difficult
32:00
Speaker 2: and you're trying to compensate for something. It's a feeling,
32:03
Speaker 2: a question that something that we've all had to navigate.
32:06
Speaker 3: So know that.
32:07
Speaker 2: Answering it isn't going to be easy all the time,
32:11
Speaker 2: but answering it is the first step to getting toward
32:14
Speaker 2: where you want to be and starting to do things
32:17
Speaker 2: that may serve you more than the patterns that you
32:20
Speaker 2: were developing. We have investing in yourself. What happens next?
32:27
Speaker 4: You gotta doubt your doubts.
32:29
Speaker 3: Ooh, doubt your doubts? What does that mean?
32:31
Speaker 1: You got to acknowledge that you're already worthy. So for me,
32:37
Speaker 1: almost immediately when I do an affirmation like I am worthy.
32:43
Speaker 1: You can hear this other little thought that wants to
32:46
Speaker 1: combat what you were just saying, and you need to
32:54
Speaker 1: come back to that thought and say, but why so
32:59
Speaker 1: when you have when you have self doubt, which we
33:02
Speaker 1: all do, it's important to question where that thought comes from.
33:08
Speaker 1: And almost immediately when you start to do that, when
33:12
Speaker 1: you question your doubt of yourself, you realize that it
33:16
Speaker 1: has no validation. It comes from no place at all.
33:21
Speaker 1: It's just it's just a negative thought to be to
33:23
Speaker 1: that we we create in our mind, but it has
33:26
Speaker 1: no foundation. But the more that we can challenge those thoughts,
33:30
Speaker 1: the more that we can recognize that.
33:35
Speaker 4: It's just there.
33:37
Speaker 1: If we choose to believe it, if we choose to
33:39
Speaker 1: hold on to it, if we choose to attach to it,
33:43
Speaker 1: then it's our choice. But if we choose to let
33:46
Speaker 1: it go, to acknowledge that it was there and to
33:48
Speaker 1: say you don't serve a purpose here anymore, this is
33:54
Speaker 1: where I'm going. I think we do ourselves, you know,
33:59
Speaker 1: a better, We do better for ourselves in that space.
34:03
Speaker 4: So, for instance, we talked about where do I go
34:06
Speaker 4: from here?
34:06
Speaker 3: Right?
34:07
Speaker 1: And I think it's easy to say, well, you won't
34:10
Speaker 1: be able to do that again. Why can't I do
34:13
Speaker 1: that again? That's where you need to doubt your doubts
34:17
Speaker 1: and just create that habit of questioning anything that pops
34:22
Speaker 1: up that makes you feel not worthy.
34:26
Speaker 3: Doubt your doubts.
34:27
Speaker 2: Okay, so we've got three really great actionable tips already,
34:31
Speaker 2: but is there something else that we can implement when
34:33
Speaker 2: it comes to strategically building our self worth.
34:37
Speaker 1: I think the last one, and it's not last because
34:40
Speaker 1: it lacks value. It's one of the most important things
34:44
Speaker 1: that we all can do is ensuring that you're surrounding
34:47
Speaker 1: yourself with the right people.
34:49
Speaker 4: And the right people are people.
34:51
Speaker 1: That are going to challenge you, they're going to support you,
34:55
Speaker 1: they're going to love you, and they're going to hold
34:57
Speaker 1: you accountable. These people are going to to be the
35:01
Speaker 1: echo back to you when your self worth meaner might
35:05
Speaker 1: be running a little low. They'll say to you, hey girl,
35:09
Speaker 1: let me hold up this marror. Let me show you
35:12
Speaker 1: how good you look, let me show you how much
35:14
Speaker 1: you've done. And that has pulled me out of some
35:16
Speaker 1: deep dark places is to have those people that love me,
35:21
Speaker 1: that care about me, that when I have struggled to
35:26
Speaker 1: be able to remind myself of my worth they have
35:30
Speaker 1: pulled me back into a space that does or they'll
35:33
Speaker 1: challenge me to keep going, they'll encourage me out of
35:37
Speaker 1: that space. And so ensuring that we have circles that
35:42
Speaker 1: are healthy is really important. And I think that again,
35:46
Speaker 1: and like all of these other things that can be
35:48
Speaker 1: on it, it can be hard to be honest with
35:50
Speaker 1: yourself as you self reflect.
35:52
Speaker 4: Relationships especially, it can be hard to let go of.
35:55
Speaker 1: But when you realize the value of letting go of
36:00
Speaker 1: some of those toxic relationships so that you can create
36:03
Speaker 1: room and create space for the positive, the firming, the
36:08
Speaker 1: encouraging ones, you realize how much value add that is
36:14
Speaker 1: to our self worth.
36:15
Speaker 2: I also think it's when you get to a place
36:17
Speaker 2: where you're more focused on what you do have instead
36:21
Speaker 2: of being maybe angry or frustrated about what you don't have.
36:25
Speaker 2: Stopping the easy comparison that can be to perhaps one
36:30
Speaker 2: person's social circle or a group of friends or relationship
36:34
Speaker 2: that you find admirable. When you stop comparing those things
36:37
Speaker 2: to what you do have and focus on the beauty
36:39
Speaker 2: that you do have in your life, that kind of
36:42
Speaker 2: unlocks a lot of doors and perspective for you.
36:45
Speaker 1: Absolutely, absolutely, The grass is not always greener right right.
36:49
Speaker 4: The grass is greener.
36:50
Speaker 1: Where you water it, and you don't have to have
36:54
Speaker 1: a whole lot of grass, you know. I think that
36:57
Speaker 1: that is so true. There's such beauty and honoring and
37:01
Speaker 1: acknowledging where you are right now today, what you have
37:05
Speaker 1: right now today, not compared to anybody else. This is
37:08
Speaker 1: my journey and my journey alone. And when you realize that,
37:12
Speaker 1: when you recognize that, it gives us an ability to
37:15
Speaker 1: see ourselves. And when we see ourselves, we can see
37:19
Speaker 1: our worth.
37:20
Speaker 3: We love it, We love self worth, and we love
37:23
Speaker 3: strategically building it with the help of you, my love.
37:27
Speaker 2: Anything else you want to add here before I reach
37:29
Speaker 2: you back to your kiddos.
37:31
Speaker 1: Oh, I just love you and thank you so much
37:33
Speaker 1: for having me I do. I just appreciate all that
37:37
Speaker 1: you've done, Hurtle is changing lives, and I am so
37:41
Speaker 1: grateful to have had this opportunity to have a conversation
37:45
Speaker 1: with you.
37:45
Speaker 4: And I'm so grateful.
37:47
Speaker 1: For you and for you coming to Unleashed and helping
37:53
Speaker 1: us create such a special and fun and beautiful and
37:57
Speaker 1: life changing experience.
37:58
Speaker 4: So I hope we get to do it more. Hell yeah,
38:01
Speaker 4: hell yeah.
38:02
Speaker 2: Hey guys, you meet people in your circle that speak
38:04
Speaker 2: to you this way. I'm just saying, follow along with you.
38:10
Speaker 2: How they keep up with you? Give us your details.
38:14
Speaker 1: Yes, they can find me on ig. You can find
38:18
Speaker 1: me at the Soulfully Spoken or Unleashed Underscore SLC if
38:22
Speaker 1: you wanted to see what was up with that. They
38:25
Speaker 1: can also check out my website at the soulfully Spoken
38:27
Speaker 1: dot com.
38:29
Speaker 2: Beautiful I'm over at Emily a Body and at Hurdle
38:32
Speaker 2: Podcast Another Hurdle Conquered.
38:35
Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time